On a Godless Planet:Volume3A Chapter 3
Chapter 2: Wonder Library[edit]
–This is a collection of wonders.
●
At lunchtime, the entire school was full of life as a shelter.
The rain continued to fall, so food was not being distributed in the schoolyard or the club building’s courtyard. It was instead being handed out in the cafeteria.
“Although the groups with their own supplies are eating in their clubrooms or other territory.”
“I have my own supplies, but I still got some curry in the cafeteria.”
“That’s called being a nuisance!”
“That’s right. Scarecrow even demonstrated her harvest god-ness by making rice balls, so you need to eat those.”
“You need to join the other Mesopotamians!”
●
The library group was, well, the same as always.
Scarecrow glanced over at Shamhat while eating a rice ball with an air of innocence about her.
“Do you know what caused all this?”
“You mean the flooding? What good is knowing that?”
“It would help bring back our ordinary lives.”
“Such as?”
“The gym and classrooms are being used as shelters for the local gods and spirits.”
“Yes, and they’re giving rave reviews. A dosojin sheltering in a classroom said, ‘I can really stay in such a large space, even temporarily!?’ and now people are questioning Shinto’s labor system and housing situation.”
“Omokane-san, could you be quiet for a bit?”
“Oh, are you sure you want that?”
“I can’t officially provide any information without a request from our on-site leader.”
“Right?”
“Right?”
Scarecrow pushed up her glasses and gave the other two a look that had them both flee toward the library entrance.
“Oh? Are you angry, Scarecrow-kun? But why?”
“Try to understand. She’s stressed out after the library was so nearly submerged. You would think a harvest god would see some flooding as a chance to plant some rice, but what do I know?”
“N-neither of you have learned your lesson, have you?”
At any rate, based on her assessment…
“A god must have attempted some creation.”
●
Shamhat had expected Scarecrow’s speculation.
In front of the counter, she grabbed one of the rice balls lined up on the side table.
“Isn’t that odd, though? None of us have full use of our authority in this divine world, so how could that god’s authority leak out like this?”
“A creator god’s authority is on a much higher level than a regional or occupational god like you or me. At the top level, you have an absurdity like Yomoji-kun. Compared to him, flooding just the Tachikawa area seems downright reasonable.”
“I agree that, for a creator god, a cataclysm of this level would qualify as a minor act reduced for this divine world. Even water gods can make it rain.”
“Then,” asked Shamhat. “Who did it?”
“If anyone knew that, they would have been stopped already.”
“And that,” said Omokane, “leads to another question.”
“Agreed. Why hasn’t Balancer intervened?”
<I am here because someone called my name. Did you have a question?>
Oh, dear, thought Shamhat. They must be monitoring things quite closely.
Did that mean Balancer was concerned about this situation?
“Why haven’t you stopped this?”
<Does it need to be stopped?>
“A certain harvest god I could mention says she wants her ordinary life back.”
<For most mythologies, this will be over in about a week, so she will just have to sit tight until then.>
“Oh, so it’s based on a mythology, is it?”
●
I see, thought Shamhat with an internal nod.
“Thank you for confirming that this is not natural, Balancer.”
<That much of a hint is acceptable. Seeing how unintelligent my creation can be is enough for a clever AI to want to intervene.>
“So you have no intention of intervening and you will give us hints if it does reach that point? So do you think ignoring this entirely is an option for you?”
<Could you bear knowing that you are unintelligent?>
“Easily! Being called an idiot doesn’t bring me shame – it gives me an excuse to sit back and enjoy life!”
While the superior said this with a smile, the subordinate looked downright horrified.
“Do you have something to say as her subordinate?”
“We need to start by working out who is causing this.”
“Yes,” agreed Shamhat. “But do you really think we can find the answer that way?”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s possible we might think we found the culprit and be wrong. Remember, a wide variety of mythologies are gathered in this world and the contradiction allowance is in effect, so we should assume there isn’t an absolute correct answer.”
●
“Knowing you’re guaranteed an absolute correct meal is the real strength of prepackaged foods.”
The game club was preparing lunch below the extended eaves in the courtyard just outside their clubroom.
They also had to prepare for spending the night here and help ensure the school didn’t sink, so they were quite busty. That meant they needed a lunch that could be prepared “in a hurry”. So…
“We can save Kido-chan’s bento for tonight and make these for lunch. Anything where the packaging is ruined but the food inside is fine was gathered up from the submerged convenience stores, so I grabbed some for us.”
Shifu carried in a cardboard box of supplies from the cafeteria. It was filled with canned foods and retort pouches with their outer packaging removed.
●
…This his honestly my first time eating this ready-made stuff.
Even during their camping trip, all of their meals had been handmade. And yakiniku counts as handmade. It does.
But for now, they only had a bench and a portable gas burner set up below the eaves. A big pot full of boiling water sat on top of the burner.
“This way we can get through lunch with entirely ready-made stuff. I got a lot of options instead of just curry, so you should be fine even with dietary restrictions.”
“Um, how does this work? If you heat it, does it cook on its own?”
“If you’re heating it, how is that ‘on its own’?”
“Oh, come on, you know what I mean! And I’ve never made stuff like this before! Because I’m a nobody god from the sticks!”
“I don’t see how your situation during the age of the gods has anything to do with modern foods.”
That one hurt.
“Anyway, how do these ready-made foods work?”
Sumeragi-kun grabbed one of the silver aluminum packs lined up on the bench.
“It’s not scary, Senpai! Take this aluminum pack for example! It has curry in it.”
“Curry? In there?”
“Right! So you heat this pack by holding it under your arm like this! ...Well, you feelin’ warm yet? Are you? Huh? ...Wait, ignore that! It wasn’t funny! And I think I did something similar before! Sorry! I couldn’t live up to Senpai’s expectations! I’ll take my flat-chested punishment and try again later!”
“I wasn’t exactly expecting that much from you.”
“Really? Thank you so much! Hooray! Senpai forgave me! How about that, Mucho!? You’ve never been forgiven even once in your whole life, I’ll bet! So this forgiveness here shows once and for all which of us is superior! Bet you’re jealous!”
“I-it’s true I’ve never been forgiven, but I’m not jealous! Not even a weensy bit!”
“She’s not kidding about the no forgiveness thing.”
“Heh heh heh. You should be more honest with yourself, Koikeya God! But this means Senpai didn’t expect anything from me… Oh, no...why even go on living? Someone please show me your support.”
“Keep fighting, dung beetle?”
“Hey! Kuwajiri! You make it sound like dung beetles don’t deserve to live! I’ll have you know that they definitely deserve to live! Or...do they?”
“They do play a small role in the cycle of nature.”
“Yay! Take that, Kuwajiri! I win again! But that doesn’t mean I have a reason to go on living. We haven’t solved that yet!”
“Senpai-san, you say something.”
“Sumeragi-kun? I said I didn’t expect ‘that much’ from you, not that I don’t expect anything from you.”
Sumeragi-kun performed a fully-prone upside-down prostration with tremendous speed.
“Thank you! Thank you so much! I, Sumeragi Izumi, will put in daily work to live up to your expectations! And I did this on the rocky riverside during the camping trip, but it feels so much more stable on the solid floor!”
More stable level up Revelation Boards kept appearing. The other gods preparing lunch all looked our way.
“It’s embarrassing, but I’m also so proud.”
“Does she get off on embarrassment, or what?”
“I assumed she was an exhibitionist.”
“Hey, if they’re happy this way, it’s none of our business.”
“Somehow Raidou-san’s comment was the most brutal.”
“Th-thank you for commenting in my place, Kido-san!”
Anyway, I picked up one of the aluminum packs of ready-made food.
“The food is in here?”
“Right. Heat that up and you’ll have, for example, curry ready to eat.”
“Eh!? So are there curry larvas inside and heating it turns them into fully-grown curry bugs?”
“We’re eating bugs now?”
“It is true people ate bugs in our homeland.”
●
We went ahead and put several things in the pot.
“We’ll start with the rice because it takes the longest.”
“You can cook rice this way?”
On closer inspection, those ones were boxes of thin plastic instead of aluminum packs.
“Sterilized packaged rice is relatively new.”
“It is?”
<Retort pouch rice is fairly new in the history of retort pouch foods. The ones with white rice, like the curry one there, came about in 1975. And the sterilized packaged rice like the ones in the water there first went on sale in 1987 when Sato Foods, known for their rice cakes, used vacuum packing technology to release flavored rice packages.>
“Three years ago, huh? They do stand out some when I see them in the supermarket.”
“How long has curry been sold this way?”
“In 1968, Japan’s Otsuka Foods released Bon Curry as the world’s first commercial retort pouch food. It was a true retort thanks to the pressure and heat sterilization.”
“What’s this about pressure and heat sterilization?”
<A device called an autoclave applies high pressure to the food to kill the germs within. The word retort refers to foods that have had that process applied, so it really means that the food has been sterilized.>
“Huh, I just assumed it meant you could cook it by boiling.”
“That is what distinguishes them from vacuum-packed foods. The term applies to canned foods too, so the ones in pouches like this are called retort pouches.”
“When you mentioned Bon Curry, you said it was the world’s first ‘commercial’ one. Is there a story behind that?”
“Yes. Retort pouch foods like this were actually developed in America first.”
●
“Knowing America, I’m guessing this is related to the military.”
“No, actually. The University of Illinois was researching next-generation preserved foods in 1955. The military did not start using them until 1959, so while it is commonly said they were developed as a military product, that is a misconception.”
“Oh, like all those conspiracy theories about the military-industrial complex?”
“Yes. But it’s worse than that. It’s commonly said that they were used as space food on Apollo 11, but that’s where it gets kind of complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
“There were a few different space foods used on Apollo 11, but since they were listed as ‘wet pack food’ they must have been vacuum-packed foods sterilized only with heat, not retort pouches sterilized both both heat and pressure. And those had already been used on Apollo 8 in 1968.”
“So if they were retort pouches, Apollo 11 didn’t use them first, but if they weren’t, then the whole idea is wrong, huh?”
<Apollo 11’s most famous space food was the ‘spoon bowl packages’, dried foods rehydrated with hot water and then eaten with a spoon by opening the top of the package. Since they were vacuum-packed and used hot water, it is possible people got confused and assumed they were retort pouch foods.>
“During the 1970 World Exposition in Osaka, the American embassy focused on Apollo 11 and had a display about those foods, so that may have played a role.”
“Anyway, all of that led to the misconception that retort pouch foods were developed for use as space food.”
“Furthermore, Japan’s Bon Curry had nothing to do with any of that and wasn’t influenced by it.”
“it didn’t borrow the tech?”
<No. The idea for Bon Curry came when Otsuka Foods bought out a company that made curry powder. They found themselves with a ridiculous amount of it and the curry powder market was already controlled by another company, so they needed to create something else with it. And someone at the company got the idea for making retort pouches after seeing American vacuum-packed sausages in a book.>
“In a book?”
“In an industry magazine. ...Also, I can only speculate on this point, but Otsuka Foods also sold medical supplies like IV packs, so I suspect that is where the pouch technology came from.”
“Having the doctor give you an IV and then attach a pouch of Bon Curry would make for a great psycho movie, but I guess it wouldn’t be as wrong as it seems.”
“Japan’s stories are hilarious compared to America’s conspiracy theories about the military and NASA.”
“It’s like the whole country thrives off of jokes.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait.”
“Now, medical technology also uses pressure sterilization, so they seem to have borrowed that as well. And that is a necessary part of making retort pouch foods. Also, Otsuka Foods advertises Bon Curry as ‘the world’s first commercial retort curry’.”
<But early Bon Curry did have one flaw. It was kept in a translucent pouch that was easily affected by UV, which caused the product to deteriorate quickly.>
“So IV pouches weren’t good enough.”
<More or less. When expanding to the rest of the country, it was given its current heavier packaging, extending the shelf life from 3 months to 2 years.>
“Th-that’s a lot longer!”
Meanwhile, Shifu-san used a strainer to remove the rice from the hot water.
Then she added the curry pouches.
“We have a few different types of curry, so I’ll just choose one for each of you, okay?”
●
TJ detected a scent on the air when she walked out into the courtyard.
Each club was preparing lunch, using the eaves in place of a tarp. The cafeteria was handing out supplies, but the clubs would be supplementing that either to just have more or for their regional tastes. But…
“Which one of them is making that strong curry smell?”
She looked over to find it was the game club who had added a tarp to the eaves to extend their space. 11 members wasn’t that unusual for the cultural clubs, but they just barely all fit out in the courtyard.
From what she could see…
“Retort pouches, huh?”
That was easier, but it would be unfamiliar to the Mesopotamians. Probably for Kido-san too. That would give them something to talk about, which sounded interesting in its own way.
Enough curry and bowl foods for 11 created a powerful aroma.
Nice, she thought, before realizing how creepy it was to act like she had an understanding with them while standing all the way over here. But sharing any enjoyment to be found was important at times like this.
What should our club do for lunch? she wondered, deciding to grab an umbrella from the supply station and visit the cafeteria. But…
“Yes! Bon Curry Gold 200! I hit the jackpot!”
Does he have to be so loud?
●
This was a first for Kidou.
She had actually eaten retort pouch food before. She had bought some yakitori at the convenience store, but…
“It was in this really tight packaging.”
She had opened it only to find you weren’t supposed to do that.
She had learned that ready-made foods lost their flavoring if you heated them with the package opened. So the next day, she had added them to their bentos for lunch. Bil didn’t notice, so it worked out. She had been cautious about trying retort pouches again after that, but the properly-cooked one Shifu handed her was not curry.
Wondering what it was, she took a bite. And…
“Oh? Ohhh?”
“What is it?”
“I was expecting curry, but this is something else entirely.”
What was it?
“Udon? With a chicken and egg flavor too.”
“Thaaaat would be an ooooyakodon.”
“What’s an oyakodon?”
“Well,” said Raidou. “It means parent-and-child bowl. The chicken is the parent and the egg is the child. Get it?”
“Eh? So this chicken laid this egg? Humans are so cruel.”
“I doubt they’re that strict about it.”
“Riiiight? They’re soooo cruel. How could you kill a parent aaaand their child together?”
“I feel like you’re setting me up for a ‘you’re one to talk’ there.”
Anyway, this was kind of fun. As for Kidou’s partner next to her…
“I know this. It is called gyudon.”
“It tastes even better if you add an egg.”
“Is the beef the parent and the egg the child!?”
“How archaic is your worldview?”
“So how do you know about gyudon?”
“There is a specialty restaurant for it near Tachikawa Station. I remember the picture from the sign.”
“A tucked-in shirt guy staring intently at a gyudon place’s sign really sets an unpleasant scene, doesn’t it?”
“Oh, I sometimes stop in front of an ice cream place to decide if I want to go for it or not.”
“It’s okay when you do it! That one’s a pleasant scene! The trendy mint chocolate is great, but I’d also love to see you get a more Japanese option like matcha, adzuki bean, and condensed milk!”
“S-sorry, but I got bitter chocolate with orange.”
“Not a problem! The gap is wonderful! And I love bitter chocolate too! I love to bite that bitter! It’s like an ice cream prostration! Oh, I got a laugh out of Kido-senpai there! Don’t worry! That’s friendly fire!”
“Well, yes.” Kido sighed. “I like the strawberry, so there is no gap there.”
That was the most powerful blow of them all.
●
…Kido-san is always so incredible.
I noticed Kuwajiri-san was staring in a daze as I took the next container from Shifu-san. Mine appeared to be curry, just like Kido-san’s next to me. And…
“Eh? Mushrooms!?”
“Indeed.”
“That’s Curry Marché!”
“When you’re used to Japanese foods and curries, this can come as a surprise, can’t it?”
<Curry Marché is a product that House Foods began selling in 1983. While it is called a curry, it is a Western curry made like a stew from cooked wheat, butter, and cream instead of a roux filled with spices. It has created a brand out of luxury Western curries.>
“I know Kido-chan doesn’t have much spice tolerance, so I gave her one with a fruit sauce, which should have a more complex flavor. I thought that would be best for a European hunting tribe.”
“Yes, I like this a lot. …But it is also a strange flavor.”
“To be honest, it’s mostly just something the company made up.”
I see, I thought.
“Before, I saw a stand-up soba place that had tempura curry on the menu right next to their cutlet curry. I ordered it and they gave me tempura over rice with curry poured over the top. So is this like that?”
“You need to apologize to Curry Marché.”
At any rate, this was really interesting. It reminded me of something I noticed back during the camping trip.
“Maybe this is inappropriate, but doesn’t it seem like food gains value from being ‘interesting’ in addition to its flavor and appearance?”
“You mean like Neru Neru Nerune or Donpacchi!?”
“What?”
“Those are ‘toy candies’ that are made to be played with. I’ll spare you any further explanation because I don’t feel like giving one.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to here?”
As I tried to calm Sumeragi-kun down, I heard a quiet laugh. Kido-san nodded and…
“That is probably what I found so surprising.”
“It’s both for me. 5000 years have passed since our time, the ways we cooked things are still used today, and the ingredients are mostly the same, but people now make so many more things using it all.”
I agreed. Everyone else nodded too.
At the same time…
“Wow! What is this stuff!? I’m kind of shocked how good it is!”
●
Shifu heard Balancer address her.
<Shifu? Did you give her what I think you did?>
“Um, yeah. I thought she’d like it since she loves Karamucho.”
It was…
“Lee x30. It’s a little spicy for me, but it’s probably just right for her.”
“Oh! This is so good! What is it!? I’m sweating!”
<Lee is a spicy retort curry that Glico began selling during the spiciness boom of 1986. But the intent was to make sure it was also flavorful instead of just being spicy, so it has maintained a unique position even after the boom ended. Also, Lee was the first product to use x## to label how spicy it is.>
“I quite like the x10.”
“They have a x20 and x30 too, but the x30 is only available during the summer. If you want more, you’d better buy it soon.”
“For real!? As the god of Karamucho, I was looking for a suitable drink, but I’m going with this! I need to stock up right away!”
“Hold it, idiot. The flooding, remember?”
“…”
“Who caused this flooding!? How am I supposed to get to the supermarket like this!?”
So the conversation had finally arrived there.
●
“Retort curry lacks the unique thickness of Japanese curry. Maybe it isn’t boiled long enough.”
Kido responded to Tenma’s question with a raised hand.
She found her bag in the food cooler they had pulled out of the clubroom and she grabbed something from the bag.
“Using this should help.”
It was…
“Starch. It’s made for cooking, so you only need to sprinkle a little in.”
“Starch? Isn’t that used to make sure tare sauces stay on the meat?”
“Yes,” confirmed Kido, noting that Izumi was already sprinkling some into his curry. “Curry is so thick because the potatoes dissolve and their starch gelatinizes. This is the extracted starch itself, so it has the same effect while being flavorless and scentless. You don’t need much for it to have an effect, so using it won’t affect the flavor.”
“Leftover curry tends to harden up by the next day, but it melts once you heat it up. Is that mainly the fat, starch, and trapped moisture at work?”
“I know you can also add flour dissolved in water, but that wouldn’t work well with retort curry.”
<Starch melts and gelatinizes when heated up to 60 degrees and it gets even thicker when the temperature drops again. In dishes over 60 degrees, it has a tendency to form lumps, but the sprinkled type is a powder, which prevents that lumping. And with only a little bit, the thickness remains at a moderate level.>
“If you want to do it right, it is best to use dissolved wheat like Kuwajiri-san suggested. Potato starch is sticky and forms lumps, so it can be hard to control. But if you have some on hand in case of emergencies like this…”
Kido looked to Douhai-san. She took the starch from Izumi and looked to Kido, so Kido nodded.
“It can add a touch of ‘interesting’ and ‘surprise’.”
●
Raidou ate his meal. He thanked Shifu for having a second bowl ready for him and then moved on to discussing their plans.
From what he had heard in the cultural clubs group room…
“They’re holding a meeting at dinner time. To discuss who’s to blame.”
“So are we playing games until then?”
“We could, but how about we do some terraforming first?”
Everyone looked up with an “oh”.
Shifu nodded at him, meaning she had no objection. So…
“Shinsei and I could be sent out to work depending on how the meeting goes. And if the flooding continues, they’ll probably summon Kido too.”
“So now’s our only spare time with everyone here!”
“It’s not a game.”
But he had the right idea.
“We’ve already proven we can’t influence things here while we’re out terraforming. I’d like to give ourselves an alibi before the meeting.”
“Agreed. And even if you you are sent out to deal with the emergency after the meeting, am I correct in assuming the rest of us will stay here guarding the clubroom and the human?”
“You’ve got it. And we have our knowledge god and that negotiator, so we should be able to navigate this meeting pretty well.”
Raidou then looked to Balancer.
“Can you help us out after we eat, Balancer? I doubt much has changed since our last terraforming session, but still.”
<Oh, are you sure about that?>
“I-I don’t like the sound of that!”
<Yes, I am a clever AI, so I know how to set a mood.>
<But,> continued Balancer. <It would be faster to just show you. You can do some terraforming after lunch.>
Interlude[edit]
“The problem with retort foods is they just don’t seem like a full meal, so you end up eating two or three of them.”
“It looks to me like it’s mostly you war gods doing that!”
“Question: can I have Karamucho for dessert!?”
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