On a Godless Planet:Volume 1A
Novel Illustrations[edit]
Cover
Full Cover
Inner Cover
Color Illustration 1
Color Illustration 2
Color Illustration 3
Color Illustration 4
TOC
Character
Page 011
Page 019
Page 028
Page 029
Page 037
Page 044
Page 045
Page 060
Page 061
Page 078
Page 079
Page 100
Page 101
Page 119
Page 131
Page 137
Page 151
Page 176
Page 177
Page 195
Page 217
Page 239
Page 263
Page 288
Page 289
Page 302
Page 303
Page 321
Page 343
Page 350
Page 351
Page 371
Page 377
Page 394
Page 395
Page 405
Page 415
Page 433
Inner Cover[edit]
Waiting Anew
I wanted to get this shopping trip right.
Tachikawa was nice because it had a lot of places to shop. As someone who originally lived deep in the mountains, a place with so much stuff was kind of incredible.
“Wow. Takashimaya and Isetan. Takashimaya sounds better from the name, but Isetan reminds me of the Ise Grand Shrine, so it could be good too.”
“Senpai-chan, are you the type who gets really taken in by brand names?”
It probably was pretty obvious I was from the countryside. I was aware of that. Yes.
“But in Tachikawa, wouldn’t Will have more of what young people are looking for?”
“No, a name like Will is a bit too powerful for me.”
“How?”
“I guess you could say it’s too bright and sunny. It’s too much for an insignificant god who lived in the shadows.”
“Senpai-chan, can you even go to a family restaurant at night? Do you take damage if you live out in the sun or something?”
“It isn’t that bad, but I do wonder if maybe it would be better to cook for myself. Of course, that just makes me order things you can only really get at a family restaurant.”
“Found anything good recently?”
“A lot of them have started serving avocado desserts, right? It really bothers me that so many menus misspell it as avacado.”
“Um, Senpai-chan? I think she was asking about the food itself.”
“Anyway, Senpai-san, I do think you can pull off more mature fashion styles, but since you’re supposed to be a high school third year, let’s try something younger.”
They used that reasoning to take me to Will.
“So what are you buying?”
“Well, you see, Sumeragi-kun will be arriving again.”
I did already have enough to live in the room next to his.
But even so…
“For every rollback, I kind of want to buy something new to ‘move in’ with.”
“Yeah, I think I kind of get it. Maybe?”
“That is not logical, but I will try to understand.”
“Is it a kind of purification?”
“It is. I think of it like treating the rollback as an unpleasant past that can be purified by bringing in something new.”
The other two nodded.
“So what are you buying today?”
“Underwear?”
“No! Besides, the new style uniform doesn’t need underwear.”
“Hold on. You do have other clothes, don’t you?”
“…”
“Of course I do!”
“Now I’m really worried…”
This was an important “ceremony” for me. I did have a decent idea of what I wanted, but…
“Oh. There it is. I’ll go with this.”
We were at a flower shop and I selected…
“Chinese bellflowers. …The ones that bloom in this season are blue or white, but I want the blue ones.”
“I’m not buying them because they’re one of the edible Seven Flowers of Autumn.”
“No one said anything like that. But…
“I was expecting some kind of item or clothing, but flowers, huh? I’m a little surprised.”
“I went with those other things at first because I didn’t have enough, but now that I have pretty much everything I need, I’ve started buying flowers. If only I could put them out on the balcony before ‘meeting’ Sumeragi-kun.”
●
Kuwajiri-chan spoke up next to me while we watched Senpai-chan go to check out.
“Do you know the language of flowers meaning for blue Chinese bellflowers? ‘Endless love’ and ‘grace’.”
“We’ve got that in the West too. For us, it’s ‘sincerity’ and ‘hoping for someone’s return’.”
Kuwajiri-chan sighed.
“The language of flowers meaning of the banana is ‘style’, so I kind of feel like I’m the loser there.”
“For wheat, it’s ‘fortune’ and ‘prosperity’, so I think I have a decent chance.”
When we high-fived, Senpai-chan tilted her head and smiled a bit, but I doubt she knew what we were talking about.
New Style Uniform Page[edit]
“Now, please discuss the new style uniform developed for the “New Cult” industry. The New Cult industry corresponds to the terraforming, so these are made for use in extreme environments. By the way, this one is the summer uniform.”
“That last part sounds a lot less convincing than the rest.”
“The summer uniform is pretty great! See-through white! Peekable sleeves! My heart’s already pounding! Calls the cops for all I care!”
“The guys’ clothes aren’t as well thought out, so they don’t really matter, right? But this kind of design in the 90s has gotta be DC, right?’
“Ohhhh, yeah. The DC Brand! IIII once told my believers they could oooonly wear one thing, but then theyyyy couldn’t keep up with environmental changes and it was a biiiig problem.”
“Um, I don’t see the control parts that go from the underarm to the chest.”
“Those are for people with big chests to control their own body’s pressure, so I don’t need them. Or rather, not having them is the standard design. They’re only an option.”
“What’s that, Kuwajiri!? You go without the Option!? Do you go all out with the Speed Up and Laser instead!?”
“Hey, people can get pretty heated arguing between 2-Way and Photon for the Missiles, so we probably shouldn’t bring the topic up at all.”
“Um, I have no idea what you’re talking about, so I’m just going to assume it’s something from the 80s or 90s.”
Story[edit]
In Tachikawa, Tokyo, of 1990, the terraforming participants engage in some chatting and some action for a wholly unpredictable story. Or maybe it is predictable. Who knows.
Character[edit]
Sumeragi Izumi
Protagonist. High School Year 2. Game club member. Main consoles are the Mega Drive, the PC-98, and the MSX2. Big boobs worshiper. Has no filter whatsoever. Seriously, none. Tends to make strange noises. Background noise on legs. Is something of a problem, but isn’t a bad person. It’s fine.
Senpai
Senpai. High School Year 3. Game club member? Has difficulty saying no. 175cm tall and busty. Seems like the gentle type but actually has an odd amount of energy. Seems to use her flustered expression more than the normal one.
Raidou Tooru
High School Year 3. Game club member. 195cm tall. The reliable big brother type. Surprisingly, intellectual. Gets worked up playing games, but isn’t very good at them. Main consoles are the Famicom and the X68. A real fighter. Big boobs worshiper.
Shifu Saku
High School Year 3. Game club member. 185cm busty blonde. Raidou’s wife. The accepting mom type.
Kuwajiri Tsubomi
High School Year 2. Game club member. 155cm tall. An intellectual with a sharp tongue. Something like a little sister to Raidou and Shifu? Good at games that don’t require reflexes.
Yomoji Shinsei
High School Year 3. Game club member. 205cm tall. Club leader. Stretches his words when he talks. Crazily tolerant yet intolerant. Absurd.
Prologue: Shining Force[edit]
Our arrival brings disaster
Our arrival brings subjugation
This seemed like a lot of trouble to me.
“Man, they just don’t learn, do they!?”
I meant the dragons. The dragons made of fire. They were trying to crawl up onto the field of bedrock we were standing on.
There was a bit of a siege going on at that field. The sky was as dark as night and a table-like plateau rose up 300m from the lava like Mt. Fuji. That was our space, so there was only really one thing for us to do.
“I’m already fighting back, you know!?”
The dragons were forceful. They had been serpentine before and I had thought the plateau would make this easy, but now they had these leg-like flippers and…
“A prominence is coming from above!”
An arch of flames erupted from the lava and transformed into a dragon midflight to arrive up on the plateau.
It looked beautiful at first glance and it showed just how far the dragons were willing to take this, but…
“We will deal with that.”
“We’ll go on ahead! You take care of the rest!”
The more physical upperclassmen ran off to intercept the arriving dragons.
It felt like a video game.
“Since I can’t fight, does that make me the commander!? Yahoo! I’m in charge! And my overall command has to be something like ‘throw your lives away’, right!?”
“I really hope you meant to add a ‘do not’ at the start there.”
Meanwhile, my upperclassmen dealt with the dragons.
We have fought them several times before, but…
“I’m used to it now, but they sure can be persistent!”
<I have been restraining them with my security system for the past few days, but they seem to be in a bit of a frenzy now that you are here.>
“Is that so?” everyone said while readying their weapons.
“Thunder God Sword!”
Lightning strikes fell from all across the dark sky and a white glowing sword stabbed down across the few hundred meters in the center.
The lightning sword spun around and slashed along the path my upperclassman’s hand took.
He swung the lightning all around, so there was no dodging that wide-range attack.
The dragons who had just crawled on up were hit and destroyed by the horizontal slash of lightning, but the flames forming them continued forward.
“White Sword!”
A blade of ether several hundred meters long “split” things rather than piercing them.
The white sword tore through it all.
But the enemy did not quit.
“The second wave is coming!”
She was right. As if to say the previous attack had been a practice run, more than double that number of flame dragons pushed in from below and crimson arches flew through the sky.
That doesn’t look good, I thought just before hearing a voice.
“Um, sorry! I lost track of time working on some homework!”
It was Senpai.
I turned back toward Senpai and everyone else did the same.
“Wow, not a care in the world from you, huh?”
“No, no, no, no. Thanks to everything that happened before, I hadn’t kept up with the summer homework I was supposed to be doing every day! Anyway, I’ve already activated my Auth Spell!”
“Ohh!” someone shouted. Senpai’s Auth Spell was the perfect option at times like this.
It could annihilate the enemy.
So we all watched the white mist of flower petals scattering around her.
It spread out like a blizzard and reached the dragons.
“Senpai Lovey-Dovey Annihilation Storm!!”
Everyone but Senpai ignored me, but that was pretty normal. It was important not to let it get to me. I wasn’t gonna stop doing this! Just you watch! Meanwhile, Senpai tilted her head with a puzzled look on her face.
“Senpai! What’s wrong!?”
“Well, um, my Auth Spell doesn’t seem to be working.”
“Hm?”
Everyone else noticed as well.
This was strange.
“Is it just me or is Senpai-san’s flower mist not doing anything?”
It was not just her.
The white flower petals scattered around the dragons, but they had no effect. Everyone focused on that while fighting.
“Did it bug out?”
<How rude! That will never happen under my management!>
Then what was this?
“Did I get the name of the move or the pose wrong!?”
<You actually noticed, ape? Yes, the proper effects require shouting the proper name. So are you ready? Spread your arms and then hold them out in front of you while shouting Heart-Pounding Flower Blizzard! Lovey Dovey Senpai Lovestruck Storm! Here we go!! That should trigger the effect after the fact.>
I spread my arms to the side and then held them out in front of me and shouted the required words.
“Heart-Pounding Flower Blizzard! Lovey Dovey Senpai Lovestruck Storm! Here we go!!”
<Just kidding.>
“You! You!!”
“Why did I turn to watch that?”
“Thank you so much! Thank you so much! I intend to work hard to improve my technique!”
“Anyway, why didn’t my Auth Spell work?”
“Were you too specific about the target in the last battle?”
“Yeah, she did make that whole announcement.”
“Ehh!? Is that how it works!? This Auth Spell is starting to sound kind of useless.”
“You don’t have to say that yourself.”
<You could have said it wasn’t true.>
“No, this is perfectly fine, Senpai! I love that careless side of you! And the rest of us will support you, so it’s all good! I can only provide moral support, though!”
“Well, um…I can be a klutz at times. But if you say so, Sumeragi-kun.”
Embarrassed Senpai was a wonderful thing. And a bunch of level up Revelation Boards appeared around her.
“Yahoo! Senpai’s level is skyrocketing!”
Everyone gave me a serious look, but I ignored them.
And the next thing I knew, several flame dragons had arrived in the sky. They gave a roar.
“–––––!”
They all rushed at us in something like a charge. The others prepared for a fight as that considerable pressure approached, but…
“What are you weaklings doing?”
A light suddenly appeared in the sky and blew them all away.
They were all hit by a direct attack.
A flash of bright light scorched and dried out the flame dragons until they turned to dust.
This was thanks to the girl who had appeared behind us at some point. She was munching on a bag of Karamucho.
“Heh heh. Did you all see how badass I am!?”
“Where have you been, Mucho!? You’re late!”
“Don’t call me that! C’mon, everyone, shape up!”
They didn’t need to be told that. After a quick wave in lieu of a response, they began fighting back against the flame dragons.
Those upperclassmen slipped past their opponents’ movements to get some solid footing, and…
“…!”
One of them made a strike that scattered a dragon as fragments of fire. And another…
“It is time we moved ahead.”
He attacked with the giant white sword he summoned.
“Red Line Shield.”
A shield measuring a few hundred meters crashed into the wall of dragons.
They were destroyed.
“Ohh! …Well, this is more our usual style anyway, don’t you think?”
“Senpai-chaaan! You and Sumeragi-chan go make some tea and wait in the stone hut! Yomoji-chan should be here later, so let’s get started on the next stage!”
“S-sorry about all this! And thank you!”
We looked to the center of the plateau. There was a stone hut there that acted as a shelter.
●
“Okay, let’s get to that stone hut!”
I grabbed Senpai’s hand and started running.
She sped up to move alongside me and then sighed.
“Now I’m just as useless as I used to be.”
“Don’t worry! Fighting was never your thing, so you have a lot of learning to do! You just have to come up with a different type of Auth Spell for next time, so let’s work at it together!”
“You really are a…strong person.”
“No, I’m a weakling that dies at the drop of a hat, so I’m not strong at all! I’ve already caused you all tons of trouble by dying over and over, so I need to help out where I can!”
<You’ve got that right,> cut in the “screen”.
<You have died far too much even for a video game.>
“Yeah, but I’ve got infinite lives.”
But anyway.
“I need to make sure I forget as little as possible! I’m remembering a lot now, but I’ve still forgotten far too much!”
Yes.
A lot had happened and things were getting pretty exciting, but it was summer break outside. We could head to school and chat there too.
It had all taken this turn just a few days before.
“It started when I died in a game, didn’t it?”
Let’s think back on all that for a bit.
Chapter 1: Hellfire[edit]
Okay, let’s talk about the past
I have a memory of playing a really fun game. I remember it clearly.
“Is this what you call outer space!?"
My opponent appeared there. They were of course in a space warship. There was a whole fleet of them and it was honestly pretty cool, but it was my job to command my fleet and defend against their attack.
Those attacking opponents were my old friends.
I…well, I stood in an open area and commanded my subordinates. I think it was what you call the ship’s bridge. It was designed just like you always see in anime and whatnot.
Everyone took action when I gave an order. But none of them were human.
They were automatons running on AI. They promptly began to intercept our opponents. They immediately executed my orders, you could say.
Meanwhile, one of my friends on the offense side displayed their face in the air in front of me. I was using a Shinto-style Revelation Board, so my friend’s face appeared inside the torii-shaped display space.
We were playing a game, so there was only one thing to do: tease each other. We made faces and exchanged trash talk, but…hey, just cause you have more control over the Revelation Boards is no excuse for moving it around to peer at my face from the side.
Well, whatever. I laughed, raised my hand, and…
“You're on!"
I won if I defended against their attacks. After a while, we stopped for a break. I again heard my friends’ voices coming from the offense side and we once more teased each other and laughed together.
While reflecting on how much more we could do when compared to the past, I suggested we continue with the game and I got ready.
There was someone by my side then.
Who was it? Oh, yeah. I remember. But the game was more important at the moment. Yes, if I won this, she was going to tell me something important. Um, what was it again? I think it was in exchange for showing off what I could do in the game. But it wasn’t that I asked to borrow some money or see her underwear. Oh, maybe I should have asked to feel her boobs. No, I guess that would be inappropriate. Anyway…
“Wow.”
I lost. Badly. And an AI spoke from my Revelation Board.
<Oh, that would be a game over there.>
●
I heard the AI’s voice.
<Umm, let’s move onto the next game then. I will set it up.>
●
<Language Setting: BABEL2035-FE-Std.99.999%>
<Mixture of Text Styles: Allowed – Perception Adjustment Selected>
<Boot Up Preparation: Under Balancer’s Management: Allowed>
<OS: 2nd S.S. No. 03 = S.S. No. 3 1990 11th Edition>
<Registration Permission: Allowed>
<Registration Range: Humanity (Exception)>
<Registration Number: Hum-XXX-001-000000000000000000011>
<Memory Processing & Management: Allowed>
<Specified Ability Settings: Setup Complete>
<Replay Permission: Replay Complete>
<Under Balancer’s Management: Not Allowed>
<Under Balancer’s Management: Allowed>
<Under Divine Management: Not Allowed>
<Under Divine Management: Allowed>
<Contradiction Allowance Tuning: Auto>
<Existence Line: Up to 4th Line Confirmed>
<Supervisor Authorization: Some Removed>
<Appearance Location: Real World>
<Coordinate Confirmation: 35.714211, 139.394698 – Margin of Error: 0.00003mm>
<Safety Confirmation: Allowed>
<Contradiction Allowance Management: Auto>
<Chosen Divinity: Partially Confirmed>
<Native Skill Assignment: Nominalistic Change>
<Native Skill Assignment Warning: Special Allowance>
<Supervising Balancer Range: 3/3/3/3-sp.>
<Memory Inheritance: 78% Possible Just Once>
<Complete. …I will now open the next game.>
●
“Oh…”
I woke up to find it was night.
The stars were scattered across the sky and I was looking up at them from a seated position.
I was looking up.
That meant I was looking at the sky. That was a simple thing, but it caught my attention for some reason. Because…
“Huh?”
I was zoning out.
Yeah, that’s what it meant. I was still half asleep.
I said at the start that I “woke up” because I felt like I had forgotten something. My mind wasn’t working. It was like something wasn’t right or something felt wrong.
What was this?
“Oh, right.”
It was waking up while looking up at the night sky. That’s what wasn’t right.
If I had woken up, then I should have been lying down, right? So why was I sitting up? And since I could see the night sky so well, I had to be outside. Why was I outside at night? The word “nightlife” came to mind and I think that helped wake me the rest of the way up, but…
“…?”
What?
It had felt like my mind wasn’t working, but I could see why now.
I couldn’t remember anything.
I had no memories of the past.
I had these words in my head, but no past at all.
●
Oh, no.
●
I stood up and tried looking around.
I wasn’t naked. I was wearing clothes. White and black ones. My mind managed to recognize them as a “uniform” and I felt like that was a link to who I was. I felt like I had grasped something about myself.
“Ahh.”
I could speak.
“Clothes. White and Black. A uniform.”
I could speak words. I could also sweat nervously. I remembered that was called “panicking”.
“I have no memories.”
I said it slowly. Not only could I say things, but I could say them without really thinking about it. That was a relief, so I just said whatever came to mind.
“I have no memories.”
That was my starting point. But…
“I’m a guy, I’m young, I’m wearing a school uniform…a summer uniform! This is a summer uniform. My shoes are…Converse! C-O-N-V-E-R-S-E! I can say that. I know what these are.”
I touched my body.
“Hair, skin, eyes, nose, mouth, arms, hands, chest, stomach, hips, dick.”
I tried saying it again.
“Dick.”
I felt like that part was important. Like I could keep going as long as I had that. Was that really true? Maybe not, but I decided that was my philosophy. And…
“Let’s unbutton this.”
I unbuttoned the chest and checked inside to see the skin of my chest. I didn’t have boobs. Not surprising, I suppose.
“I don’t have boobs.”
It really hit home when I said it out loud. That was important, so I had to remember it. But…
…I do “have” stuff.
I had a body. I mean, that seems obvious, but maybe it wasn’t so obvious? Or rather, I didn’t know what was going on here, so I wanted to check on the obvious stuff too. That’s how panicked I was. However…
“Umm.”
What was the deal here? I had no memories, but I could find the words for everything and I “had” stuff. So what was the problem with my situation?
There was nothing wrong with me.
But I was outside.
I had been sleeping sitting up out here and I could see the night sky. In that case…
“Below me.”
Terms like “the ground” and “at my feet” came to mind, so my vocabulary wasn’t failing me yet.
I had seen this before, but I hadn’t really thought about it.
“Hey.”
The ground glowed with a dull red light and it flowed below me.
I was sitting on a sea of lava.
●
“Eh?”
This seemed strange.
I knew what things were, so I knew lava was hot. I knew there was no way I could be sitting on it.
Oh, right. There was something below me. I just hadn't noticed because the glow of the lava was so bright. I was sitting on something kind of shadow to that light. It was the edge of some land in that sea of lava.
And once I realized I was safe, I was kind of disturbed by it.
"Wow."
<Oh, please wait just a moment! I'll reset your summoning location!>
…Eh? What, what?
I tried to turn around and look, but my foot caught on a rock.
I tripped with quite a spin that sent me falling right toward the lava.
“Ahh.”
I was surprised to find I knew enough to think “I am so dead.”
But something appeared just before it happened: a dragon.
A flame dragon attacked from behind.
“Huh?”
●
This shouldn’t have been possible.
It was a monster, a fantasy creature, a goblin…well, no. Not a goblin. Regardless, I was pretty sure it was an enemy. Probably anyway.
“So biiiiiiiiiiiiig!”
I was talking about its overall size, not boobs. The dragon didn't have boobs. Disappointing, I know.
But the real problem was how it was so big I had to look up at it and how it was made of lava. Or maybe pure fire.
It had horns and what looked like a mane.
It was a dragon, a wyrm, a…um, what else do you call them?
Simply falling in the lava would’ve killed me, so this seemed like overkill.
It reared its head and dove toward me. Yeah, this was bad. Just not good at all. I didn’t want to be attacked by anyone who wasn’t a busty girl.
“Ahh.”
I thought I heard a sizzling sound.
In other words, I was dead. And my cause of death wasn’t “boobs”. It was “rammed by a dragon”. That’s no fun.
●
<Ahh, not again!>
●
<Language Setting: BABEL2035-FE-Std.99.999%>
<Mixture of Text Styles: Allowed – Perception Adjustment Selected>
<Boot Up Preparation: Under Balancer’s Management: Allowed>
<OS: 2nd S.S. No. 03 = S.S. No. 3 1990 11th Edition>
<Registration Permission: Allowed>
<Registration Range: Humanity (Exception)>
<Registration Number: Hum-XXX-001-000000000000000000012>
<Memory Processing & Management: Allowed>
<Specified Ability Settings: Setup Complete>
<Replay Permission: Replay Complete>
<Under Balancer’s Management: Not Allowed>
<Under Balancer’s Management: Allowed>
<Under Divine Management: Not Allowed>
<Under Divine Management: Allowed>
<Contradiction Allowance Tuning: Auto>
<Existence Line: Up to 4th Line Confirmed>
<Supervisor Authorization: Some Removed>
<Appearance Location: Real World>
<Coordinate Confirmation: 35.703514, 139.412093 – Margin of Error: 0.00003mm>
<Safety Confirmation: Allowed>
<Contradiction Allowance Management: Auto>
<Chosen Divinity: Partially Confirmed>
<Native Skill Assignment: Nominalistic Change>
<Native Skill Assignment Warning: Special Allowance>
<Supervising Balancer Range: 3/3/3/3-sp.>
<Memory Inheritance: 74% Possible Just Once>
<This is a pain, so I will omit it from now on.>
●
Anyway, that's how it all began.
Interlude[edit]
“You’ve gotta have a bootup batch file when it’s set in the 90s, don’t you!?”
<Do you want me to delete some things to free up some memory?>
Chapter 2: Paperboy 01[edit]
The rising sun shines on a newbie
I awoke with a start.
I felt like I just had an awful dream. Or rather…
“I died!”
I was pretty sure I’d died 3 or 4 times.
That was about the worst way to wake up, but awake I was.
I caught my breath while just sitting in bed in a T-shirt and boxers with the morning sun shining in on me.
I checked the digital clock on the same shelf as the TV next to the bed and saw it was 08:03 of 8/3/1990. I liked how the time and date matched. Was this going to be a good day?
But that aside…
“Is this what it was??”
The reason I had “died” had fallen onto the bed.
It was just an ordinary pair of game glasses. Those things you put on to play an immersion game. They looked like glasses, but they were sitting next to my pillow. Or more likely, they had fallen there. That meant I had fallen asleep while playing the game.
Falling asleep in the middle of something is so great. Finally doing it after nearly dozing off a few times just feels so fulfilling.
But doing it in the middle of a game – specifically one of those immersion ones – is dangerous.
It’s…y’know.
When you fall asleep after game over-ing – that is, dying – it feels so much more like you really did die.
“It was all cause of this hardware…”
The glasses said “Genesis-Edge” on them, but they technically weren’t a game system. What were they called? Well, it doesn’t matter. I do know you can use them to watch porn using a swappable rom once you’re a grownup. Hell yeah. 360 degrees, baby! Just two more years and I can check out all that porn I’ve been stocking up on VHS.
Anyway, I had bought these things with hope for the future in my heart. They’re the latest fad and it cost me a week’s pay from the part-time job I started during summer break.
●
And I do like games.
“I love how many arcades there are in Tachikawa!”
●
That said, I didn’t start the part-time job for the glasses. I wanted a bike, clothes, a bag, and other equipment for taking day trips. I also wanted a sleeping bag because I was thinking of doing some camping too.
Does it sound cool to say I didn’t know what to do with myself with my parents overseas? Really, though, what were my parents even doing?
…Was it some kind of machine-related business?
They went on a business trip where it really helps to know English and I was left with nothing to do. My school was local and used a dorm system, which was rare these days. That meant I didn’t live at home. I had moved out when my parents went overseas. It was just too big for me alone.
But I did have plenty of memories there. Um, well, I can’t actually remember any of them now, so…uh, just trust me. Some moving stories had to have happened there.
And now I was living a carefree life.
The school had a huge campus, so the dorms were more like apartments. They were built 15 years ago and they were apparently built before this was part of the campus, but they were made into dorms when the land was bought up by the school.
I would have preferred a “dorm” like this outside the school, but my parents probably didn’t feel safe having their kid outside the managed campus.
●
Wow, I am being really exposition-y here, aren’t I?
●
But anyway…
“I have nothing but bad memories about that gaming session.”
I looked at the box for the glasses on the floor and got out of bed. The morning sun shining through the curtain told me this was going to be a hot one. Or maybe it was how sweaty I was waking up. Oh, hell. I could just tell this was going to be another day of nothing worth mentioning.
I wanted to do something. Something fun and exciting that didn’t cost much money. Was there anything like that? No? Is this what they mean when they say an ordinary life is worthless!? Is it!? I don’t want to hear anything else bad about a normal life! Day by day, I’m burning through more and more tax money! How about that, you high income taxpayers!? Had enough yet!?
Getting all fired up first thing in the morning was a bad idea.
This was probably why I bought that thing in the first place.
I got down on the floor like I was crawling and opened the glasses box. When I peeled off the sealing tape and removed the inner box, I found the instruction manual and…that was all.
I was hoping for some exciting ads for upcoming game releases, but there was nothing. No instructions for accessing porn with it either.
…Are they even trying to sell this thing!?
Well, there was probably some grownup issue preventing them from doing that. I understood that. We could continue this conversation in two years. But…
“Overpackaging is a problem, but I don’t like it when it’s this simple either…”
The box was entirely black, probably to make it look cool, but it felt a little too plain.
I could see the charger plugged into the power strip on the floor, so I clearly did a pretty good job setting everything up before going to bed. I had lost my game glasses virginity while carrying hope in my heart for two years down the line.
And then I had died.
That seemed like a bad first impression, but it had also left a hell of an impact.
“Yeah, that’s right.”
I decided to try it again later. I looked over to the bed and saw the TV on the shelf next to it. There were a few game systems directly below it.
They looked like a jumbled mess with all the cords hooking them up and they were hard to miss as they reflected the morning sun. A big difference from the glasses next to the pillow.
…I feel like these glasses suit me better.
Why had I bought them? Oh, right. Jumping the gun on a better porn delivery system. I recalled that while I plugged the glasses into their charger.
●
I didn’t have any breakfast. Crap. I hadn’t expected the fridge to be empty.
I did have money. As for clothes…
“What was my part-time job for again?”
The closet only had school uniforms. And I mean only summer ones. There was no fashion sense to be found there.
Plus, they were the old style. Yes, the old style. Um…
“The old style?”
They were normal uniforms: a shirt and pants. Summer uniform was one category, but why had I thought they were the “old style”?
…Oh.
Right, I thought as I suddenly remembered an image of the night sky.
No, not just a single image. It was an afterimage of the countless stars in the sky. It was a flashback. I was remembering something.
“Outer space.”
Or rather, a planet.
●
Maybe I should've said this earlier, but it had been a while since humanity discovered a livable star system that was actually within reach.
That led to a boom in space development and, by the time kids my age were in our thirties, we will have resumed the exploration of the unexplored parts of the deep sea, the high mountains, and the tropics as a way of simulating that field. Our classes had a lot more occupational training for that reason.
“They want to train us to get jobs, I bet.”
Japan’s economy was in a bit of a slump, so they wanted to develop our physical skills and not just our soft skills while the country could still manage it.
Since Japan didn’t really participate in the Age of Discovery, we didn’t have much of a frontier spirit.
So the First Frontier was what we called humanity leaving its birthplace in Africa and spreading across the world.
To be nice to the rest of the world, we let the Second Frontier be the shaping of the modern world that began with the Age of Discovery.
The Third Frontier was the space race in the 60s and the Fourth Frontier was what we called heading into outer space and returning to the unexplored regions on earth. Again, this is just the terminology we made up ourselves.
But we made up the terms first, so we got to choose.
And like our teacher had said,
“If Japan rushes out into the lead and manages to produce results before running out of steam, we will be the winners.”
This new age had begun when I just started middle school, so I was part of the first generation to be directly influenced by it.
We called this the “new cultivation industry” and the mainland’s economic activities were mostly spread out to developing nations where they could take advantage of the lax laws to produce real results. Japan did a lot in the undersea industries and also space stuff, but that received some complaints from the other countries:
“Stop digging up our ocean floors.”
That was the current state of the world…or what I’d been taught about it during “New Cult” class in the first term.
My school had elective classes for training and practical work in the new cultivation industry and classes for more in depth knowledge on related legal and economic matters. You could buy a new style of uniform for that. Or rather, I really needed to get on that.
The new style had a sealed inner layer called an inner suit with a lightweight and functional uniform on top of that, so it was pretty futuristic.
Why did I know so much about it when I only had the old style? I had a good reason for that.
It was a special interest of mine. I really wanted to shake the hand of whoever designed the girl’s uniform. That’s how much I loved them. I didn’t really care if I wore one or not. It was the girls that mattered. Please make sure all the girls wear them.
●
Okay, I may have gotten a little sidetracked.
●
“Well, who cares.”
I need to buy some clothes. Also some food. So if I got dressed and grabbed my wallet, I would find happiness outside. Get ready, world of consumerism. I’ll be with you soon.
I could buy a new style uniform, but I didn’t really care. The boys ones were a little too sporty for my tastes. Wearing one only made an indoorsy type like me look like a background character. And I was in the 2nd year, so I hadn’t really gotten into the electives yet.
So I would buy normal clothes.
“Okay.”
Once I was dressed, I headed out. My room was on the 2nd floor. The hallway was as large as a terrace and I found someone standing next to me. They were in front of the neighboring door.
“A girl. And with big boobs…”
“Eh?”
“No, um, excuse me. An inappropriate comment slipped out, but only because I try to be true to myself.”
It was a girl I didn’t recognize.
She was tall and had big boobs.
●
She fit my tastes perfectly.
●
I casually took over a hundred mental snapshots of her entire body.
“Um, sorry. Who might you be?”
After my inappropriate comment, I knew I had to apologize. Meanwhile in my mind…
…Hell yesssssssssssss!
If you kept the inappropriate comment inside, you didn’t have to apologize. Those were the rules. Also, you always had to be polite to someone with big boobs. That too was important. I really needed to bow my head. She was my target of worship, after all. So it was super important.
She seemed a little confused by my behavior, but she returned my bow with her long, black hair swaying.
“Sumeragi Izumi-kun?”
She called for a “Sumeragi Izumi”. At first, I wasn’t sure who she meant.
…Wait, that’s me!
Had I ever had someone so good looking call my name? What was going on? Anyway, I needed to respond. Having a good-looking girl with big boobs call your name was a rare experience, so I couldn’t afford to screw it up.
“Eh!? Oh, yesh! I'm Shumeragi Izhumi!”
Ahh, way to screw it up, me. Why are you stumbling over your words? You need to make a real conversation out of this! But why does she know my name? What could that mean? Oh, I bet I know.
“Do you want to marry me!?”
“Eh?”
She was clearly confused, so I slapped my own cheek.
…Don’t rush this!
I wasn’t sure what I was rushing, but I was definitely moving too fast. Those boobs were to blame. No, the boobs were blameless. Which was it? Oh, right. I was to blame. Yes. That’s what it was. I could accept that.
“Oh, um, sorry. I was just, uhh.”
Oh, c’mon. me. You’re so nervous you’ve started wiggling around. Even I can tell that’s creepy. And it looks like she’s older than me. In fact…
…That’s it!
I figured it out.
This was why she fit my tastes so perfectly.
She was wearing the new style of uniform.
●
I knew I had to marry her eventually.
●
But saying so would have been way too inappropriate. But if I just said “bye!” and left, all I would have done was act weird on a summer morning. First impressions were important.
So I attempted communication.
“Are you an upperclassman?”
My question made her smile a little and she pointed at the door in front of her.
“I’m moving in here today, so we’ll be neighbors. Um, Sumeragi-kun? You do live next door, right? …I heard from…the landlord? I guess?”
…For real? Way to go, landlord. You’re like a god to me.
I placed a hand on my forehead as I silently thanked the landlord.
Having a busty and good looking girl living next door gave you at least a 5 rank advantage in life. No other system made sense.
And girls had a similar system. I mean, they’re clearly living a better life if a tall, hot rich guy moves in next door to them. Let’s try not to think about what it means to have me as a neighbor in that system. Okay? Anyway…
“Thank you very much.”
“Eh? For what?”
“Oh, well, how should I put this?”
I realized I didn’t know anything about this upperclassman. But I was fine with pretty much everything since she met a few specific qualifications. In other words…
“First impressions are important.”
“Eh? Well, yes, they are…”
Huh? Why is she backing away a little? Am I doing something weird? I am! I was wiggling around while I spoke. Whelp, there went my first impression. When filling out the job application for my part-time job, I had listed my biggest weakness as “gives a bad first impression”, but that was even more accurate than I thought. But there wasn’t anyone busty at my job, so that weakness never manifested itself there. That was good. Kind of. Things were bad now, though. However…
“Then…”
She spoke to me.
“I hope that first impression of me stays true.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.
Big boobs didn’t go away. They were a universal truth. And they were even better in those new style uniforms. I wanted to worship them. So she had nothing at all to worry about!
“This was like a penetrative strike reaching from the first impression to the last! I’m willing to die for you right here and now! That’s how powerful an impression you left on me!”
“Um, let’s not exaggerate…”
Busty and modest? Fantastic. I just about said that out loud. The urge to call her “that busty and modest upperclassman” was nearly unbearable.
…Busty and modest upperclassmen are the best!!
I needed to go shout it into the Tama River later on.
And she asked a somewhat hesitant question while pointing at the apartment building.
“Is there anything I need to know about living here?”
“Eh!? Oh, yesh!”
I needed to give her some advice! Yes, um, what were the problems here? Oh, I know. There was one thing she definitely needed to know!
“You might hear some weird voices from the room next door, but please assume it’s just the wind and ignore them!”
“Eh?”
I slapped my own cheek.
“Never mind! This is a peaceful place! It’s so peaceful the occasional tanuki sighting is all the excitement we get!”
“Oh, that’s good to hear.”
She said bye and opened the door to her room. I only now realized how big a bag she was carrying. I wished I had noticed earlier so I could’ve offered to carry it. But it was too late now. I wanted to get outside as soon as possible, so I descended the stairs while listening to her door shutting behind me.
“I nailed that greeting.”
Way to go, me.
●
She entered her room, closed the door, and sighed.
“Oh, no. It happened again.”
The room was ready for her to live in. It had two bedrooms, so it was fairly big for an apartment.
…It was advertised as a luxury apartment, wasn’t it?
Still holding her bag, she walked into the back room without turning on the lights. That was the bedroom/study room. The storm shutter was not closed. The curtain was closed, but plenty of morning sunlight made it through the gap.
It was a summer morning, so the thin carpet felt cold in an almost damp way. And…
I didn’t expect to be back so soon.”
There was a bed by the wall. She set down her bag and sat on the bed.
“Nh.”
She leaned back against the wall.
The boy she had just met lived in the room beyond that wall.
…What’s going to happen?
She decided to head to school after a short break. And with that in mind, she spoke.
“Am I really good enough?”
●
“Yes! This is so good!”
I never knew school was so much fun during summer break!
It was like a giant academy city. The school was big enough to have shops and stuff, but they were nearly deserted during summer break since classes were not in session.
I heard the distant voices of the practicing athletes and I raised a hand in greeting when I saw a classmate or former classmate here for club activities. Overall, it felt like I was somewhere other than school.
I decided to use the dining hall for breakfast.
Then I would go buy some clothes.
But before that, I felt like looking around school for a while.
●
I got sick of it after 5 minutes.
●
“Yeah, it’s not going to hold your interest for long.”
Schools are made so everything’s designed pretty much the same wherever you go. With so many people on the giant campus, there were school buildings built here and there, but they were more or less identical.
I was in the eastern block of school buildings. Specifically I was in the section of that known as the far east. That was closest to Tachikawa Station, which acted as our connection to civilization outside the school.
I decided now was a good time to get breakfast, but as usual, I got a little lost. Wandering around randomly may have been a mistake. I even had a black cat cut cross my path. And when I did reach the underground dining hall…
“ ‘We are closed today to secure the necessary ingredients.’ What’s that supposed to mean?”
Well, I guess I did know what it meant. They’d written it pretty clearly. Still, why “secure”? Were they a hunter?
While trying to figure out where else to go, I decided to at least grab a high calorie drink from the courtyard vending machine, but just as I pulled out some change…
“Ah! Sumeragi-chaaaan!”
Someone called my name. A hallway window on the first floor of Building A was open and a gaudy blonde girl was waving to me from there. A tall boy stood next to her and he raised a hand in greeting too.
“Hey! Sumeragi! We need another player! Shifu brought a new one!”
“That’s right, Sumeragi-chan! It’s no fun playing against Tooru cause he sucks so much, so come on over!”
What was it now?
When I looked over, I saw the girl called Saku holding up a plastic bag.
Food. From outside the school. And we could eat it at school. What could be better?
It’s really feeling like summer break now, I thought as I walked toward the pair. Based on the view through the window, they were both wearing new style uniforms.
The number of upperclassmen was growing.
Interlude[edit]
“By the way, I like the convenience store’s sea chicken sushi rolls.”
“You can’t go wrong with the microwaved gyudon.”
Chapter 3: Paperboy 02[edit]
How to study hard and play hard
She beat me pretty badly.
The place they called their “clubroom” was at the very end of the clubroom building right next to Building A, which contained the faculty room. They called their club the Game Club.
That seemed a little too on the nose to me, but I was a member too. Although I pretty much never showed up.
“Sumeragi-chan, you’re so bad at fighting games. Tooru is stupid bad, but I remember how you stupid lost to him the day you joined the club. That’s when you stopped coming, isn’t it? You said you have some systems at home, right?”
That was the upperclassman named Saku. I had just learned her full name when I saw the nametag on the chest of her uniform. It said “Shifu Saku”.
Meanwhile, the upperclassman named Tooru was tall and had his long hair tied back.
“What are you staring at me for, Sumeragi?”
“Oh, nothing really…”
I’m sure you can tell just by looking at them, but he and Shifu were clearly an item. I could smell it. It was a unique scent that we unpopular folk were quite sensitive to.
“Well, I was pretty sure I knew what was going on when you shared the food from the same convenience store bag.”
“Yeah. I know you like big boobs, Sumeragi-chan, but these ones are off the market.”
She readily admitted it, but there was something I had to say to her comment.
“It isn’t that I want them to myself. My love of big boobs is more of a conceptual thing.”
“Did you hit your head?”
“My head is just fine. Yes, if anything, my mind is a little too weak.”
“You have some nerve claiming that.”
“I’m a nervous person, what can I say? …Anyway, while I do want to touch and stare at big boobs, it’s worshiping and adoring them that really matters.”
“I see,” said Shifu-senpai as she passed me a convenience store sandwich.
“You are quite the pervert…”
“Oh, I’m not that high level yet.”
I took the sandwich and her partner tilted his head.
“Hey, Sumeragi.”
“What is it?”
He nodded and crossed his arms.
“Shifu’s my wife, so that means I’m the bigger big boobs lover. Don’t try to claim otherwise, okay?”
●
It’s on now, I thought as I slowly stood up.
“Let’s settle this once and for all.”
“Don’t be dumb. You’re the underclassman and I’m the upperclassman. I win by default.”
Shifu-senpai was giving us quite a look, but we decided to ignore it.
“Listen.”
He made the first move.
“Prove to me it isn’t just boobs in general you love.”
●
Shifu thought to herself.
…They are the worst…
Was this really a conversation to have with a girl around? And something about Sumeragi must have gotten to her partner because it looked like he was about to attack the boy and then he started giving him some kind of test.
But it seemed harmless enough, so she decided to let it play out. However…
“Very well.”
The underclassman idiot gave his response.
“My love of boobs is a love of big boobs and not just boobs in general.”
“Explain.”
The underclassman answered the upperclassman idiot.
“The Japanese language includes the word ‘ippai’. It means ‘lots’ or ‘a large quantity’. Meanwhile, the word for boobs is ‘oppai’. When you look at the vowels, ‘o’ comes after ‘i’, so ‘oppai’ must mean ‘even more’ or ‘an even greater quantity’! Since I understand that logic, the concept of boobs and the concept of large size are inextricably attached in my mind. Thus, it is impossible for me to love boobs without it being a love of big boobs. Q.E.D.”
“Can I just kick his ass?”
When she asked that, Tooru stepped forward and took a breath.
“My brother…”
“Brother…!”
The two idiots hugged, but that was a bad idea on such a hot and sweaty day.
●
Shifu saw the two of them move apart while looking about ready to puke.
“Ugh, it’s way too hot today. I shouldn’t have gone for a full body joke when the air conditioning is so bad in here. Besides, you were just trying to force some laughs out of a not-so-great joke, weren't you?”
“That’s my line! I love big boobs, not chests of any gender!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes! You clearly don’t have boobs.”
“Then give my chest a feel.”
“Huh!? You dare challenge my concept of big boobs!? Fine, then! I’ll feel you up!”
He did so. And Tooru immediately threw the stupid underclassman to the floor.
“You call that a caressssssssssssss!?”
“Ow, ow, ow, ow! Wouldn’t it be worse if it did feel good!? I’m normal!”
Shifu felt like she should stop them soon.
●
“Well, it is pretty hot today,” said Shifu as she intervened.
I felt like I had gotten the short end of the stick what with being thrown to the floor and all, but he held out his hand.
“The name’s Raidou Tooru. You can use either one you like.”
I took his hand and pressed it to my chest. Then I wrapped my hands around his and looked up at him.
“Well? Do you like it? Do you? Hgwah!”
He threw me to the floor again, but Shifu-senpai gave a nod of understanding this time.
●
“Well, there’s generally someone here and people from the other clubs often come here for fun, so there’s really no reason to join if you’re never gonna show up.”
I looked around the clubroom while Raidou-senpai said that.
I saw him, Shifu-senpai, and one other person.
…She’s not a target of my worship…
There was another girl. She wore an old style uniform, so she was probably in the same year as me.
She had come out on top during the Monopoly-style game we had just been playing. Shifu-senpai had been 2nd, Raidou-senpai 3rd, and me dead last.
Shifu-senpai laughed quietly when she saw me looking at the other girl.
“That’s Kuwajiri Tsubomi. She’s incredible at intellectual games. She’s stupid good at games like that one we were playing.”
“No, that was only a matter of knowledge.”
Kuwajiri pushed up her glasses and sounded a little troubled.
“When I saw the in-game currency, I calculated out the total amount of assets and used that to estimate what the general market prices would be like. It’s my standard technique for games like this. With experience, the other players will get a feel for the market prices and how negotiations work, but I’m terrible at that part and I start to fall in the rankings.”
She talks really fast… I thought, but I did state my other impression out loud.
“So you know the genre well enough to be untouchable on a first play through.”
My comment caused everyone to look my way. Kuwajiri immediately looked away and both Raidou-senpai and Shifu-senpai nodded. Then Shifu-senpai spoke up.
“C’mon, Tsubomi-chan. That was a compliment.”
“I don’t want a compliment for impermanent results…”
That must have been how she saw things. And I did have some experience with that. Yes, like in a fighting game when the environment-
…Huh?
●
Something felt off to me.
But it was a minor thing, like realizing you didn’t really have a point to make.
●
“But,” said Raidou-senpai.
“Make sure you visit here as much as you can from now on.”
“Eh? Do I look like I don’t have a life or something? You’re asking for a lot here since I’m actually pretty busy. Still, it sounds like I’m Mr. Popular around here.”
“What are you busy with?”
“Well, a good looking girl with big boobs just moved into the apartment next door, so I can earn the happy meal of life just by spending all my spare time bowing down toward that wall! Bet you’re jealous! Wait, Shifu-senpai, why are you putting my convenience store food back in the bag!? Give me one good reason!”
“Look in the mirror, idiot.”
Since Kuwajiri nodded, the majority was against me. My only chance was a clever change of subject.
“Why do you want me to visit here?”
“Well, what the hell was that last night?”
“Last night?”
“You died immediately, remember?”
It came back to me when Kuwajiri glared at me.
●
That starry sky.
And they probably meant that part where a dragon made of lava charged at me.
“—————”
Yup, I sure did die. And since those three knew about it…
“You were in that game?”
“We sure were.”
“We were wondering where you would be since noobs tend to have trouble figuring out their coordinates, but you were a lot closer than we expected and you died right away.”
“Oh,” I said in newfound understanding.
“So it’s that kind of game.”
“What kind of game did you think it was?”
“It just happened so suddenly I didn’t have time to figure anything out.”
“Yeah,” said Shifu-senpai while nodding several times.
“Humans really are weak.”
“Oh, you mean the character race.”
“Right, right. That’s what I meant. And you can kind of blame us for that one.”
“We asked you to do it. We got you involved.”
“Do you need my help in that game?”
“Really, that field is all about you.”
When Raidou-senpai said that, Kuwajiri reached across the table and hit him on the back.
“Hey, no spoilers.”
“Oh, right, yeah. …So what are you doing tonight?”
“Well,” I said. Shifu-senpai had returned my confiscated food. The convenience store rice ball was kombu flavor. I started to wonder if you could catch that in that sea of lava.
“Okay, I’ll join you. I honestly don’t really get the game, so I’d appreciate your help.”
“Actually, Sumeragi-chan, where is your god partner?”
“Partner?”
Shifu-senpai and Raidou-senpai exchanged a glance.
Kuwajiri answered in their place.
“A human character chooses a god as their partner.”
“Really?”
“You can’t start playing if you don’t. Well, you can, but you can’t do anything.”
“Is that so?”
“But I take it you don’t know who yours is.”
“I kinda died immediately, if you recall. It’s like I took one step out the door and immediately keeled over.”
“You small fry.”
“Yeah, I am a small fry! I haven’t lived the kind of life that lets me have a busty girl standing by my side like you have! If the options are 0 or 1, then I’m a 0! Who can I go to to complain about this!?”
I realized something about my memories of last night as I said that.
“I was sitting on some land floating in the lava, so was that some kind of dangerous mission?”
“Of course it was. And if you remember that much, you did pretty good this time.”
Raidou-senpai placed a hand on his chin.
“But in that case, I think we’ll stay out of tonight’s game session.”
“Eh? Why!? I thought you were going to help me out! And you call yourselves upperclassmen!? I’m like a cute little lamb over here!”
“Damn, I could really go for some lamb.”
“I hope you like it bone in!”
I was being pretty ridiculous.
But what part of me could be seen as meat?
“Fine, then! I'm willing to be meat!!”
I dropped my pants to my knees and pulled up my shirt to bare my stomach. Then I lay down on the table.
“Coooooome and get it!!”
●
Shifu-senpai slapped my stomach so hard she left a handprint.
●
“So anyway, you have a partner. They’re a god with enough power to let you walk on lava.”
“Do you know what kind of god they are?”
“It’s Shinto, so you chose and…”
He thought for a bit and tilted his head.
“Well, that maybe explain it.”
“Huh? I don’t get it.”
“Simply put, you’re super weak, so the management may have given you a strong character.”
“None of you know who it is?”
“Oh, we’ve met them. Like when we put together the mission. We just don’t know their name.”
“A nameless god? What’s that about?”
I could tell I was nothing but questions, but I couldn’t help it. I did remember dying last night. Apparently I needed the power of a god partner if I was going to avoid dying, but…
“There are a lot of nameless gods. Shinto in particular has more than most religions.”
Kuwajiri explained it to me.
“So if we show up, your partner might back off. In the worst case, they might decide to have nothing to do with you.”
…Hmm?
I was a little confused.
“I have a god partner. Let’s just assume that’s true.”
“What about it?”
Well…
“You say that partner will decide not to show up if you’re nearby. Now, this whole discussion has nothing to do with my field of worship, but does that mean what I think it does?”
I stated my conclusion.
“Are you all stronger than my god partner?”
“It’s a pretty common thing.”
He readily admitted it. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but…
“You’re a small fry…or rather, you haven’t even begun, so your partner isn’t that great either. On the other hand, we’ve got a decent amount of experience from a different field.”
“Without a partner?”
“Yeah, because we started as gods instead of a human like you.”
“No fair!”
I simply spoke my mind.
“I can remake my character, right!? Right!? I wanna be a god too! I wanna be a god so I can barge into the women’s bath, transform into an animal to spy on the women’s bath, and transform into the wind to blow by above the women’s bath!”
“There’s not really anything worth seeing in there.”
“I don’t care! It’s a fantasy! A fantasy! It’s in a boy’s nature to peep on baths! So you can call it a ‘nature bath’ for short! And doesn’t a nature bath sound nice!? Well, whatever! If I don’t have that kind of freedom with my character, I want a new one!”
“You say that, but playing a god character ain’t easy.”
“How so?”
“Sometimes when a human character is in trouble, you have to save them.”
“Really!? Wow! You have to save losers like me!? Sucks to be you! I’d never be able to stand that! Okay, human it is!”
Kuwajiri gave me one hell of a glare, but I pretended I didn’t see it.
“Now.”
I asked another question.
“What kind of game is it?”
●
“Well, you could call it a crafting game.”
Shifu-senpai answered my question.
“Or terraforming. It’s about cultivating a planet.”
“Terraforming?”
I crouched down, stood back up while mimicking robot noises, and struck a pose.
“Terra Forrrrm! Te-terra-terra! Do you transform the planet like that to cultivate it?”
“Do that again.”
Kuwajiri asked, so I did.
“Terra Forrrrm!”
“I didn’t get a good look. Do it again.”
“T-Terra Form.”
“Oh, that seemed different from before. Try doing it again.”
“T-Terra…okay, fine! I didn’t think it was funny either, dammit! Mad!? Well, are you!? Hmm!?”
“I am extremely angry, but that just proves I am normal.”
●
“Senpai! Senpai! Let go of me! I won’t be satisfied until I’ve spoken my mind to that girl! Senpai! My pride demands it, so let go of me! Ahh, wait, no, not there, gwah, that’s my weak point!”
Shifu sat in front of Kuwajiri while letting her partner calm down the rioter who was shouting nonsense.
“Tsubomi-chan, nothing good comes from taking idiots seriously.”
“Not you too, Shifu-senpai!”
Pipe down, you.
Then Kuwajiri sighed.
“How should I put this? People like that are so foolish…”
“Hmm, I think you’re a little young to be acting so world-weary, Tsubomi-chan.”
“Actually, people don’t see me as mature as they see you…”
“So you were just full of yourself? Wait, no, don’t take it that seriously.”
Meanwhile, the door opened. And…
“Ohhhh, sounds like you’re having fuuun in here.”
A bald guy walked in.
●
“Oh, it’s Yomoji-chan.”
Shifu-senpai’s comment clued me in to the new visitor’s presence. I was currently dangling 15cm above the floor thanks to Raidou-senpai’s right iron claw, but…
“Oh, what’s this? You’re here, Shinsei?”
“Eh? Who is it? Who, who? Is it a busty girl by any chance!?”
He released me by tossing me aside and I managed to strike three poses before coming to a stop. I was feeling woozy, but Shifu-senpai gave me some applause, so I deemed it a success.
And when I looked over, I saw a tall bald guy.
●
“I’m going to be honest.”
“Hold on.”
“Is this bald guy really a student?”
“You have guts. I’ll give you that.”
“Oh, I’m not that great,” I said while Shifu-senpai pointed at the guy with her can of coffee. He may have been even taller than Raidou-senpai, but he was even skinnier than me.
“This is Yomoji Shinsei. He’s our club leader.”
“Leader?”
“Thaaat’s right. Oh, and Sumeragi-kuuun?”
“Oh, yes. What is it?”
“Wellll,” said the club leader while stretching out the word, nodding, and spreading his arms.
“I thought you miiiight be able to help last niiiight, but you died alllmost immediately. It was quiiiite a shock.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’m not used to that game.”
“IIII see. Hmm, not used to it? That iiiis true.”
The club leader made a suggestion.
“Howwww about you try stuuuudying up on it?”
Interlude[edit]
“Did anyone tell Sumeragi where the library is?”
“He ran off yelling ‘librarian glasses girls are the best!’, so I think he’ll be fine.”
Chapter 4: Paperboy 03[edit]
This is a gathering place for a great many things
“I didn’t expect him to actually go to the library like that. I guess he takes this more seriously than you would think.”
Shifu commented while viewing a board modeled after a fantasy village.
“It is only natural for the ignorant to seek out knowledge.”
Kuwajiri replied while taking over all the shops on the right side of the board.
“And from what I’ve seen, ‘our’ library has pretty much everything he might need.”
“You’re so strict, Kuwajiri-chan.”
“Only cause she likes him, I bet.”
“I simply don’t want him holding us back. Oh, and I will be taking that fruit shop, Raidou-senpai. That gives me 8 fruit distribution cards, so I will be drawing a card.”
“Are you kidding me?”
She ignored him, drew the card, and played it.
“Any player with fewer than 5 shops cannot move for 1 turn. Or more simply, none of you can move.”
…Wow…
Shifu had thought Kuwajiri relied entirely on her general knowledge when it came to these financial games, but now she was using something she learned during a previous play through.
“I swear you intellectual types are unbeatable.”
“No, I am no match for Raidou-senpai in combat games. And you take material-gathering games far too seriously. Kido-senpai always wins the production games, Tenma-kun always wins the negotiation games, and…”
“Okay, I get it, I get it. You can’t even be humble without showing off how much you know, can you?”
“S-sorry.”
The way she shrank down and lowered her head was really cute.
…So why is she so strict when it comes to Sumeragi-chan?
“Well, you are a lot like Sumeragi-chan in some ways.”
“No, I am not.”
She stated it plainly, but she felt the need to say more. She must have felt her contradiction was disrespectful.
“I’m a little worried about this. And I get the feeling you two are as well.”
●
Tooru heard his partner say “I see”.
It meant a lot that Saku was indicating her understanding instead of teasing the girl.
…Well, she is right.
“Sumeragi’s an idiot, but he’s not a bad guy. He’s a born idiot just like Rocky, but at least he’s got a positive outlook on life.”
“Ohh, that’s high praise from you, Tooru!”
“No one who loves big boobs could be a bad guy.”
“Now you’re just complimenting yourself, aren’t you?”
“What’s wrong with that?” he said while waving a hand to skip his turn since he could not move. Then Tsubomi sighed and spoke.
“So when are we going to give him spoilers?”
“We kind of already did.”
There was some hope in his voice.
“Something will probably get him to remember everything eventually anyway.”
●
Shifu had to agree with Tooru.
“We’re not bound by our names over there, so we can tell him like normal. But I’d prefer if he understands the system better first.”
“That’s true. It could be dangerous if we don’t have a common understanding and a shared objective, at least to a certain extent.”
“Well, I bet he’ll have it mostly figured out today. We met his partner a few times during the previous stage, but that didn’t really give us all the info we might want. We also don’t know what standard Sumeragi used to choose her.”
Tooru thought for a bit and then punched his palm.
“Her big boobs. That’s gotta be it.”
“Can you not act like that’s the only conceivable reason?”
And just as Saku said that…
“Tiiiime for something absurrrrd.”
Yomoji had barely moved at all this whole time, but now he spread his arms and set down one of his game pieces. It was within the right-side area controlled by Kuwajiri, but…
“Eh? Yomoji-senpai, you can’t move.”
“That rule iiiiis in effect, but ooooonly in the shopping diiiistrict.”
Meaning…
“IIII control 7 of the government ooooffices, so the tax office demaaaands you pay up! Whoever has the moooost shops must give me halllllf their total assets.”
“That's absurd!”
“In a fantasy world, a 50% tax might not be that bad.”
Saku began wondering what to do while stuck with just 2 shops. And…
“So Sumeragi’s in the library, huh?”
“I wonder if Scareko-chan’s there.”
“It’s the early afternoon, so Omokane-senpai will be there too.”
“I see,” said Tooru this time, so Saku smiled at him with a look that said “Oh, what’s this?”
“The library’s their home base, isn’t it? Well, I bet this will all be a waste of time after tonight’s game anyway.”
●
The library is so great! There’s a librarian girl! With glasses! Which makes it even better!
I was in top form.
…Yesssssssssssss!
I started shaking up and down between the bookcases, but I just had to express my love for something so great! My body refused to stay silent!
Anyway, after three sets of shaking excitement, I regulated my breathing. I held some terraforming books.
Yes, terraforming.
I had initially considered wandering around the library at random, but I got super excited when I saw the person at the checkout desk: a glasses librarian, upperclassman librarian, girl librarian, and busty librarian all rolled into one. Librarians are so good! It’s not a true library without one of those! Hell, yes! I wanted to visit here once a day even when I didn’t need a book to read.
Anyway, I knew I had to speak with her, but I screwed it up.
“U-u-u-um, excuse me.”
Wow was I ever panicking. Of course I was. She was busty, a glasses girl, a librarian, and most likely an upperclassman to boot. She wore an inner suit, a summer uniform, and a stole to combat the library’s air-conditioning. And based on her hair and eye color, she was not Japanese, so it was time to put my English skills to the test.
“I-I-I cannot…Japanese.”
“Huh?”
“Eh? Um, uhh.”
“Japanese is fine. I was assigned to Japan, after all.”
“Eh? Oh! Yes! Thank you very much! My name is Sumeragi!”
She nodded and I noticed a cane leaning against her side of the counter, so I waited for her to use the armrest to stand up.
“I’m looking for information on terraforming.”
“Oh, you mean in ‘that world’?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
I needed to learn about terraforming. In other words…
“I need to know the right way to tear up my form.”
●
She fell silent, so I calmly explained with confidence.
“The others I know are obsessed players with god-level characters and they were saying something about terraforming. So I’m guessing reaching the level of a god character requires taking the paperwork for your human character and tearing it up. In other words, I need to ‘tear a form’.”
“Um…”
She placed a hand on her forehead to think and I assumed this meant the library didn’t have game walkthroughs.
“Do I need to visit an outside bookstore for video game stuff?”
“No, it isn’t that…”
She nodded and calmly explained.
“Terraforming does not mean tearing up a form. It means altering a planet’s environment.”
“What!?”
Whoops, I was a little too over the top there. I can be a little dramatic on occasion, you see. But…
“A planet?”
“A planet.”
I read the nametag on her large chest while she thought again.
It said Kubiko Scarecrow.
Since she wore a new style uniform, she would be a 3rd year. But since she had chosen the New Cult courses while needing a cane, the New Cult industry must have had proper accessibility measures in place. That was definitely where my mind went and not “wow, they’re round” or “they’re so big” or “you can really see the pull of gravity there”. Although I may have been staring.
Then she nodded once.
“Do you have a moment? Terraforming has nothing to do with tearing or document forms. It refers to the work of remaking a planet into a livable environment for humans.”
●
She explained it all for me, but long story short: I was really embarrassed!!
●
But it was never too late to learn. This was a good chance to give myself a decent foundation in science and math. Yes, I could whip myself into shape with some S&M! Well, maybe this was more about vocabulary, but whatever. Also, this meant only the busty librarian upperclassman and I knew what an idiot I had been! It was our little secret! Don’t you dare point out that this was a secret I’d rather she forgot! Because you’d be right! Still, this put me a step or two ahead of the common folk who only come to the library and check out books! Even if those were steps in the wrong direction.
Anyway, she told me what fields I needed to learn about in order to alter planetary environments via terraforming. Like geology and environmental science. I went around gathering some books on those subjects that even an idiot could understand. I wanted lots of visuals. Ones with color. She even told me about 5 that used manga to explain it. Then I checked the health and art books and…oh, would you look at that? There were some foreign books and…ohhhhhh, now this is art! Yes, it’s art, so it’s okay to look at! I would only use it for education, but I had my doubts about all of you who had checked it out ahead of me. And to help people find it, I stuck it right at the end of the shelf.
Then I returned to the counter.
“Umm, I need a library card.”
“In that case, we can do it back here.”
“Do it back there? How bold!”
“What?”
I slapped my cheek once. And then…
“You can get your library card over here, Sumeragi-kouhai.”
I heard a female voice and turned around to find a new style uniform, except this was a boy’s uniform. She had black hair and she stepped out of the document room in the back of the library.
“Weasels?”
“These are ferrets. They insist on staying with me.”
She had a white weasel on each shoulder.
…How strange…
I felt like our school had a lot of weird people. I was fairly normal myself, so I wanted a little more than just good looks, a decent sized chest, and two pets.
“I am Library Committee Head Omokane.”
…Library Committee Head will do the trick!
●
A Library Committee Head sounded pretty great to me. I could picture it already: the sun shining into the library and the two pet weasels on her shoulders while she flipped lazily through a hardcover book!
“Amazing!”
“Huh?”
I slapped my cheek again.
“Sorry! The phrase ‘Library Committee Head’ hit me just right!”
“You’re honest but also an idiot, aren’t you?”
“And you don’t mince your words, do you!?”
“No, I suppose not,” she said while looking at the books I had placed on the counter.
“Learning about terraforming, are you? I would love to help you if we had the authority.”
“Oh? Do you play that game too, Library Committee Head?”
“I command the Shinto side of it. That relates to you too.”
●
…Hm?
That sounded oddly meaningful for some reason.
“Shinto?”
I had heard something about my human character being Shinto. The Library Committee Head laughed quietly.
“I know you died immediately last night.”
“Yeah…”
She handed me my new library card and I bowed. And then it hit me.
“Are you one of the obsessive players too? The ones with god characters, I mean.”
“I’ve been a part of that for a while.”
…Oh.
She didn’t seem like the type, but you couldn’t judge a book by its cover. In fact…
“Does playing it help you get into a good college or get a good job in the New Cult industry?”
“Wait, no one’s told you yet?”
With a light wave of her hand, a glowing panel appeared in front of her.
…Huh?
●
It looked a lot like a hologram.
“Is that an illusion?”
I mean, it just appeared out of thin air. Um, y’know, it was like a console or multi-window in a video game. Something just like that had appeared there and she was using it.
She pulled up some kind of list and it looked like she and the weasels were checking to see if something was on that list. However…
…What is that?
Just as I wondered that, Scarecrow-senpai (Scareko-senpai?) noticed me staring and quickly called out to the Library Committee Head.
“Yatsui, put that away.”
“Hm?”
The Library Committee Head looked up and also notice me staring. Then…
“Oh.”
She nodded a few times as she erased the illusion. It quietly shattered into light and she swept the shards away with a hand.
“Pretend you didn’t see that.”
“What was that thing?”
“You didn’t see anything.”
“Give me something and maybe I didn’t.”
“You are an idiot, but you’re also very honest!”
I was back to her original assessment of me.
She smiled.
“Okay, this is the library, so I will give you some knowledge.”
“Um, then how about you start with your and Scareko-senpai’s measurements?”
“You do not get to choose.”
Oh, I see. Well, I was the underclassman, so I accepted the established hierarchy.
“There are those members of your club – and some others too – but your ultimate allies are us, the Shinto ones.”
●
I was confused, but this was a place of knowledge and it made sense it was a hard place to be an idiot. However…
“What does that mean?”
“Simply put, we and they are very, very interested in your progress.”
“Meaning?”
“We cannot walk the same path as you.”
…Umm.
I thought for a bit and then raised my right hand. I looked to the books on the counter.
“But I’m a complete amateur who loves big boobs.”
“That you are.”
Scareko-senpai gave us some unbelievable side-eye when the Library Committee Head said that, but I decided to pay it no heed.
The Library Committee Head also ignored it.
“Well, you should come to understand this in time. They will help you, but be careful. Raidou and his group will be kind to you, but there are others. And they have their position to think about. So your ultimate allies will be us Shinto gods since we belong to the same classification or jurisdiction as you.”
“What difference does it make to have a weakling and an amateur like me around?”
“As a weakling and an amateur, what difference do you see when you look up at an almighty character?”
“Well, you can do completely different things.”
“That is correct.”
She smiled as she said that.
“You might be an honest idiot with an unfortunate love of big boobs, but you’re thinking about this in the right way. I’m sure Kido will be happy. I expect you will want to head to that world tonight after reading through those books some, but I am sure you will remember what I’ve said once you are there.”
“What do you mean?”
“When someone can do so much more than you, what thoughts come to mind and what are we to do?”
When she said “now, then” and snapped her fingers, Scareko-senpai returned my library card.
I took the books and remembered how hot it was outside. I was worried I would get them damp with sweat. I needed to stay calm. Wait, wrong kind of sweat. And…
“Sumeragi-kun.”
As I started toward the door, the Library Committee Head called out to me and I spun around.
“What is it!? Do you want to marry me!? Oh, but I can’t! You’re not quite big enough! Or does your uniform suppress their size!?”
“You might be an honest idiot with an unfortunate love of big boobs who thinks about things in the right way, but you really are an idiot.”
“Yup, that’s me! Right back to the beginning, are we!? Thank you very much! Anyway, what do you want?”
“Well,” she began.
“The partner you chose is Shinto, but also the most powerful out of all the legends. You made a good choice there. I grant you that knowledge as a sort of curse.”
“Um, uh, I don’t really remember choosing them…”
“Do not let it bother you. That has already been decided, so just focus on what is to come. You are an idiot, after all.”
Hearing that was kind of nice. I mean, I knew I was an idiot and her being an upperclassman and the Library Committee Head hit me just right. So…
“Thank you very much! I feel like we really hit it off well!”
I left after that.
●
“Omokane-san…you should be more careful.”
After the boy left, Omokane heard Scarecrow speak up once from her chair.
The ferrets on her shoulders dropped to the floor and climbed up onto the counter. One spun around to get a look at Scarecrow and the other sniffed at the spot where the boy had set down his books.
Omokane thought about what Scarecrow had meant.
“Oh, this.”
She opened a Revelation Board by her hands, which made Kubiko gasp.
“We were instructed not to let Sumeragi-kun see that until he understands the system.”
“I love that the instructions were sent via Revelation Board.”
“But…”
“If he questions it, we just have to tell him it’s secret new experimental tech for the New Cult industry. At the moment, it’s not even a lie.”
“Well, yes, that might be true.”
“So let’s just go with that.”
Omokane circled to the front of the counter. The two ferrets followed her with their eyes as she stopped with the deserted library behind her.
“He is a good boy.”
“He is.”
Since Kubiko agreed, Omokane knew her assessment was the truth. Because…
“He noticed your cane, but when you used the armrests and counter to stand up, he didn’t try to help you unnecessarily. But he did take a half step to the side.”
“I had my left hand on the counter, so he stood in front of my empty right hand.”
“And what does that mean?”
Kubiko nodded and answered her testing question.
“He didn’t assume my disability makes me helpless, but he also gave me the room I needed to work in.”
“That is correct.”
Omokane expressed her exasperation.
“He really is a stupid boy, but he seems to view us as equals. If that is his starting point, then I wonder what he will do once he has to look up at us.”
●
“Ohhh, this is way harder than I thought.”
How did I want to put this?
“It's more like making a planet than adjusting one.”
I flipped through one of the books and started to get an idea what terraforming – or the New Cult space industry – was all about.
It gave me a "oh, so that's it" kind of feeling.
Terraforming.
That was what you called that instakill game from last night.
The scene I half-remembered was a sea of lava.
If that field was representative of the entire planet, then the entire planet was burning. Or just really hot.
In that case what did we need to do?
- Cool it down.
But that didn’t seem quite right.
Yes, that was more of a means than an end. Right, you didn’t look through lewd images because you were trying to do something lewd; you found yourself in a lewd mood because you were looking through lewd images! Wait, no. That works both ways. What was my point again? Was I just wrong? Was that it? Huh!?
I needed to calm down.
I definitely had a point here. Yes, a great point. Namely, that I was only looking at the immediate situation.
It was like taking medicine after you caught cold, screwing up conversations because you’re an idiot, or getting turned on by looking at lewd images. But…
“But isn't terraforming about creating a livable environment?”
That wasn't the immediate objective; it was the ultimate objective.
Yes, I had to keep that final objective in mind.
“You need a specific goal in mind! Like wanting to do lewd things with lewd images featuring big boobs!”
It was so simple! I made sure to bow toward the adjacent room.
That about summed it up. Even if you could alter the atmosphere to deal with the immediate issues, it might not end up being livable.
So what were you supposed to do?
●
It thought about it, but…
“Eh, this is good enough.”
I had only skimmed through one illustrated textbook, but I had absorbed its knowledge. So…
“I can think about this more once out on the field.”
Once there, I needed to think about what I could and couldn’t do and about what was necessary.
That would be my starting point. So…
Why had I died again? I kind of remembered something annoying happening, but I was also curious about what the Library Committee Head had said.
The god I had chosen was supposedly the most powerful.
That was a relief.
The sun was setting and I had locked the door to my room. The window had a screen and I could hear the cicada cries from outside, but that was fine.
My game glasses were fully charged, so…
“Let the games begin.”
Or begin again, I guess. I had already died after all.
Interlude[edit]
“Ah, ah, I hear movement in the next room!”
<How about you get ready instead of trying to peek in from the balcony?>
Chapter 5: Opa-Opa[edit]
So very much of this and so very much of that
I checked through the settings displayed inside the glasses.
“Umm, Easy should be fine, right? Trying too hard and dying would only be a problem, so Easy is fine with me.”
I thought back to what I remembered from the night before.
My upperclassmen kept saying I had died, but was that what really happened?
I wondered how it had happened while watching the “Now Loading” text.
●
I thought back to last night’s game.
Yes, that’s right.
I had seen some kind sea of lava and then someone had spoken to me.
“Hey! Sumeragi! What are you doing here!? Are you trying to get yourself killed!?”
“Oh, were the coordinates off? They were probably randomized since you didn’t come here with Senpai-chan!”
Eh? I thought.
I hadn’t known everyone would be there.
The people I had met at school were there, and…
“Dragons!?”
There were dragons made from flames. They took serpentine forms and tried to crawl up onto the bedrock field we were standing on.
Wow.
“Is this some kind of tower defense SLG!?”
“Pretty much, yeah. It’s more of an action game, though.”
The upperclassmen were dealing with the dragons as we spoke.
They were fighting a defensive battle on that field. The bedrock stage was about a hundred meters across in the middle of the lava surface that was sending black smoke up into the dark sky.
While the dragons crawled up from all around and raised their heads to breathe fire, those two upperclassmen were fighting back with weapons in hand.
“Damn, they’re persistent!”
“Tooru! Wanna go for a major attack!?”
“It’d be a waste of ether! There will be some big ones coming later!”
They slipped through the flames and swung something like giant swords to slice through the dragons as they passed by.
All the dragons were enormous and about as thick around as our three-story school building, but their weapons were about 5 meters long. That was nowhere near long enough, but…
“–––––!”
When Raidou-senpai swung his weapon, the dragon burst from the wound he left behind.
At the same time, Shifu-senpai took care of several at once.
“Over here!”
When she called, a few of them crawled through the air and dove toward her.
Then they were sliced apart in midair. It was like she had thrown invisible blades out into the air.
Also…
“Harvest time!”
Countless golden blades burst from the ground and pierced the ether that had only been lightly wounded. The dragons were pinned in place.
“…!”
They scattered and collapsed. It was impressive.
“I’m used to it now, but they sure can be persistent!”
<I have been restraining them with my security system for the past few days, but they seem to be in a bit of a frenzy now that you are here.>
“Is that so?” everyone said while readying their weapons. And…
“Go take shelter in the stone hut, Sumeragi! Senpai-san will be there!”
The stone hut was of course the small building made of stone in the center of this narrow land.
“Sumeragi-kun! Hurry!”
I ran toward the voice I heard.
“Wahoo! Senpai! I’ll be right there!”
But I stopped running pretty quickly. I sensed a great presence or heat from overhead. It was…
“A prominence!”
Exactly. A flame dragon was forming a crimson arch through the sky.
They can do that? I thought, but it was going to hit me.
There was no way I could survive that. So…
“I screwed up!!”
I thought I heard a sizzling sound.
That meant I was dead. Plowed into by a dragon had to be one of the worst ways to die.
And I heard a voice from outside.
“What!? Again!? How many times is that now!?”
I honestly don’t remember. Cause I’m a complete weakling!
●
That was what had happened the night before.
I could finally remember it all.
I had forgotten it all in the morning, but now it was back. But…
“Yeah.”
I said that because something seemed off to me.
…Huh?
Hadn’t I been killed instantly?
Wasn’t that what they had told me during the day? But these memories seemed so real. I couldn’t have imagined all of those interactions. So…
“Well, who cares.”
That was about it. The glasses were already displaying the word “Start”, so I was ready to go.
I could begin the game.
●
I couldn’t really see the night sky.
…Hm?
I was supposed to be in the game.
It was an immersion game with a fully 3D space.
Based on what I remembered from last time, I had been sitting down and looking up at the night sky.
But things were different now.
I was lying down. There was a soft pillow-like sensation below my head.
And I saw two objects above me that were round from the center on down and out to the left and right.
This had to be what it felt like to look up at some giant boobs and shout “They’re so biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig!!”
“They’re so biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig!”
●
Seriously.
●
This was the perfect angle for looking up at some giant boobs.
If anyone saw a drawing of this, they’d say it looked fake, but when you saw it photographed, it was exactly the same.
While stunned by their great size, I quickly took over a hundred mental snapshots until I heard a confused voice.
“Eh!? Eh!?”
Oh, no. They’d noticed. But how? Regardless, I had to hurry up with the snapshots.
These were the real deal. A pair of giant boobs was right there. Wow.
God, looks like you weren’t kidding when you said ‘ask and it shall be given unto you’. But am I really worthy? Am I? Am I really!? On second thought, I don’t care!
…Actually, calm down! What’s going on here!?
I was most likely receiving a lap pillow attack from some busty person. Oh, no. This attack was super effective against a certain part of people with certain interests. And super effective it was. Ohh, this was not good at all. Not even a bit.
“Um, uh, did you wake up?”
“No, I’m asleep! Fast asleep! Leave me like this!”
“You are awake, aren’t you!? Aren’t you!?”
Just as the person asked for confirmation, she also moved to confirm it.
She leaned down to peer at me and I think we all know what that means: those giant things dropped down toward me.
…Ohh…
I was being crushed, sandwiched, squished, squashed, and smushified.
This was it. I was accepting my death already. I mean, suffocating like this would be way better than dying of old age. No growing old for me! And with a cause of death like “suffocated below some giant boobs”, everyone would be so jealous when they saw my gravestone.
“Um.”
Then the pressure left and someone grabbed my head from either side.
It was all over. I felt like my life was over. That was how great a loss it was. Everything felt so empty now… It was as much a shock as being handed the exact birthday present you wanted and then being told it was for someone else.
But my boring life was not over yet. I was lifted up and turned around.
“Um, uh.”
I now saw who was speaking to me.
“…”
It was the upperclassman next door.
●
I hadn’t expected someone I knew.
●
Oh, crap.
I really hadn’t expected this. How was I supposed to look her in the eye tomorrow?
Calm down, me.
I might have made a scene and trembled a little too much while she squished me, but that didn’t mean I had lost all social standing.
No, that sounds hopeless actually. That would normally get the cops called.
So let’s aim lower. My first priority should probably be making sure she doesn’t call the cops.
I noticed she was blushing and refusing to look me in the eye, so I looked at her and…
“Nice…”
“Eh?”
“Um, nothing! Never mind!”
I decided to keep talking to avoid an awkward silence. I started with the first thing that popped into my mind.
“Your body temperature’s a little high!”
“Eh?”
I slapped myself on the cheek.
…Calm down!
This was not the time to talk about how it had felt. I needed to calm down. So for now…
“Senpai…I can call you that, right?”
“Oh, yes. That would be best.”
…Wow, that’s super formal and distant…
But it was far better than being sent straight to the police. Nothing wrong with a formal distance!
So to further take the conversation away from me shouting “They’re so biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig!!”, I said something else.
“Um, Senpai?”
“Yes, what is it?”
I had a question.
“Why are you here?”
●
I was sure I’d screwed up.
If you think of that as one of the dialogue options, then it was the #2 option. Not the super bad one, but the bad one that still leaves an opportunity to reach the true ending. The brief look on her face made that pretty obvious.
Then she spoke.
“Um.”
She thought for a moment.
“Advanced players are supposed to help out new players.”
●
That made sense to me. I felt like it connected back to everything else I had heard during the day.
“A lot of people told me I had already chosen a god as a partner.”
“Yes, that’s what this means.”
Umm.
…But I don’t know who she is.
How did the system work in this case? I could only think of one option.
“What does this mean?”
“Eh?”
“I’m just guessing here, but I was just clicking on all sorts of stuff when I started the game, so I think I might have accidentally gotten you involved like that.”
That was all I could imagine.
“There was probably a popup asking if I wanted help from a more advanced player and I clicked on it without really reading it and that’s how I ended choosing you to help me out.”
“Hmm…”
She tilted her head a little. Oh, her boobs stay a lot more horizontal than I expected. No, wait, now they’re bending! Excellent… This is it! This is exactly what I wanted!
She definitely noticed me staring, so I looked away and pretended I had been in the middle of viewing my surroundings.
“Um.”
“Yes?”
She responded without criticizing me, so she had to be a bodhisattva or something.
But there was one thing I was curious about. It connected back to what the Library Committee Head had said.
“Do you play a god character too?”
●
She thought about his question.
…How should I explain this?
But she did not need to lie or hide the truth. And since they would likely be working together for a long while…
…Wow…
She was reminded just how incredible a thing they were starting here. However…
“That is true, yes. That’s the standard for our generation.”
“Oh.”
That must have solved a mystery for him because he nodded several times.
“I had thought it was weird that everyone I met happened to play a god character, but I get it now.”
“You do?”
“The human character option was a recent addition to the system, right? And the god characters are better, but I didn't know that and chose a human one.”
“Oh.”
Now it was her turn to understand. That interpretation was not exactly wrong, so…
“That’s right. Yes. Sorry for not explaining properly.”
“No, it’s my fault for starting the game before learning about it.”
…Yes.
That was true, but saying it would not accomplish anything. So…
“Let’s do our best working together, okay?”
“Oh, but…”
He seemed to have a question. She paused so he could ask it and ask it he did.
“According to the Library Committee Head, the god I chose as my partner is the most powerful one. So are you the most powerful one?”
●
I saw Senpai raise her right hand.
She looked away from me and one of those things appeared by her empty hand.
And by one of those things, I mean one of those multi-window things.
●
Omokane saw a Revelation Board appear next to her.
She had just opened the menu at a family restaurant on campus. Scarecrow and an underclassman girl sat across from her. The underclassman in a black shirt tilted her head, but Scarecrow spoke up.
“Omokane-san, you have a divine call.”
“Yes, I know. It seems to be from his partner.”
She could make a good guess what it was about, so she decided to answer.
●
“What is this about? Ha ha ha.”
“Y-you’re laughing, aren’t you!? And Omokane-san! Why would you call me the most powerful!? Unlike the rest of you, I’m an outsider and my level is super low!”
“Send that energy his way. And you’re only so low level because of your shut-in tendencies. Level up and gain the strength you’re supposed to have.”
“You know it isn’t that easy…”
“Whatever you say, I am praying for your happiness. Let’s hope it works out this time.”
●
I saw Senpai shatter the glowing window with a flick.
She sighed, but she managed to calm down before turning back my way.
“Just so you know…”
“Oh, yes. What is it?”
“I am not the most powerful or anything like that. And even if I am one of the Shinto god characters, I’m an outsider.”
“An outsider?”
She had to think for a moment when I asked that.
…Oh, whoops.
That term had a bit of a negative sound to it, so maybe it was cruel to make her explain it. If I lost too many points with her, the police option became a very real possibility once more. So…
“Oh, you don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. I know you’re nothing like that.”
I tried that, but…
“Hmm…”
We seemed to be looking at this differently. And…
“You know how there are a bunch of different gods in the legends?”
“Well…”
I felt bad, but I really didn’t. Maybe I needed to go to the library tomorrow. But she continued while lowering her shoulders a little.
“There are the main gods that cause all sorts of trouble, but there are also gods who have no name and are talked about like background characters.”
“And you’re one of those?”
“No, I do have a name, but you could say that’s all I have…”
Oh, I understood now.
●
It was a game.
There was always a clear division between the people who were good at it and the people who weren’t. The same went for people who understood the trick to winning and the people who didn’t.
If you were good, you would get stronger. If you were not good, you did not get weaker, but you did take longer to get stronger.
However…
…What if how good you were at the game determined what class of god you got?
Raidou-senpai and the others were probably the kind of god you got to be if you played the game obsessively.
But what about the players who didn’t?
I decided to assume the answer sat right in front of me. In other words…
“Senpai, did you get a god like that…or inherit their name, I guess you could say?”
“I’ve heard there isn’t much difference in the base specs, though.”
“In that case.”
I asked a question.
“Could I ask what your name is?”
“Eh? Oh…no, you can’t.”
She hesitated a fair bit, but that was her answer.
●
Oh, I messed up.
And this time, it was a subconscious mistake.
I hadn’t actually decided whether I wanted to ask her real name or the name of the god she played.
I had just wanted to confirm who she was.
That was probably why she had said no. And even if that wasn’t why…
“In Shinto, a name represents the very essence of a being…so I think I would have an easier time telling you when we’re both stronger.”
“You mean…?”
“Even a god like me has powers. And those powers can be borrowed or stolen through my name. If I told you now and someone overheard, it could hinder us both later on. So if I am to reveal my name, I want it to be after we’re strong enough to prevent someone from stealing my powers even if they overhear.”
That was really simple. And in that case…
“Then I’ll just call you Senpai.”
“Yes, that’s for the best.”
I was okay with that, but I still had a question.
“But in that case, why did the Library Committee Head call you the most powerful?”
●
“Yes…that’s a good question…”
She was annoyed with Omokane-san yet again, but then she realized he was looking at her.
He was staring at her chest. And…
“The most powerful…”
“Eh?”
When she said that, he gasped and looked her in the eye.
“Um, I think I kind of understand how you’re the most powerful.”
“But, um, well.”
“No, no! You don’t have to say anything! I get that it’s hard to say those things yourself! But nothing is more worthy of my worship, so don’t worry! Let’s just leave it at that!”
They left it at that.
But even if he was okay with this, something about it bothered her.
“Hey, Sumeragi-kun?”
She knew it was not fair, but she still asked.
“It’s a little late now, but are you sure you want me as a partner?”
●
What a silly question.
Of course I wanted her! She was the busty girl next door! And even after what happened, she hadn’t called the cops! That was unthinkable! So I couldn’t even think of choosing anyone else!
But if I said all that out loud, I was pretty sure she would call the cops after all.
Also, I was fairly certain she wasn’t asking about that. No, not just fairly certain! Absolutely certain! Don’t assume everyone in the world is the same as me. Nicely said, me. Okay, who’s next!?
“Um, what do you mean, Senpai?”
“Well, you see.”
She asked a question.
“You have only just started, so I think you can still ask for someone else. So…”
So…
“Are you sure you want a low-level partner with an outsider name?”
●
Oh, so that was it.
I realized that Senpai didn’t understand one important fact. She was of worthy of my worship, but aside from that…
“You came to me and that too was a choice.”
She would be using up her resources helping out a stupid underclassman who didn’t know how to play the game.
“But you still decided to come to me and that makes you the best god for me.”
How else could I view it? If she had come to me knowing what it meant, then we had to respect each other’s decisions. That was what it meant to be equals with a common goal. I could trust in that no matter what happened.
But if I chose someone else while focused only on their powers, I would be submitting to those powers. When they wielded their powers, I would be forced to accept it.
Senpai was not that strong. She had said so herself. But she had also said something else.
“When we’re both stronger. That can be our ‘agreement’.”
●
All of a sudden, she started crying.
●
…Waaaaaaait!!
I didn’t understand. What was this? Was she under a bunch of caste pressure from being weak and an outsider, so my words of liberation happened to stir up her emotions!? Was that it!?
But making a good-looking and busty neighbor cry was a first for me. It felt a lot like having an opponent use my discard tile to complete a yakuman with 8 dora tiles.
“U-u-u-u-um-um-um-um, S-S-Senpaiii?”
My voice cracked toward the end, but she only shook her head with her hands over her face.
…Thanks to basic human anatomy, her elbows are repeatedly squeezing and releasing her boobs…
No. Nooo. This was not worshipping time. My brain’s multitasking had to make concern the main task. Snapshots had to be a subtask! Bad brain.
And while I tried to figure out how to calm her, I heard something from far behind me.
“He made her cryyyyy!!”
I recognized the voice.
“Kh!?”
I struck a pose and turned around, but there was no one there. Dammit, was that group spying on us!? What kind of awful person made a habit of peeping? It didn’t count when I did it!
●
“Shifu-senpai! You can’t react so loudly!”
“Yeah, but I really didn’t expect him to make her cry like that.”
“Honestly, I’m glad she didn’t just blab her name all of a sudden. Y’know, since I have a skill in place that passively picks up an opponent’s name so I can avoid surprise attacks.”
●
“Can’t let your guard down for a second with them, huh?”
Once I sighed, Senpai stopped crying. Or rather, she started laugh-crying instead of cry-crying.
“They probably came to watch because they were worried. …Still, I’m glad I didn’t say my name.”
“Yeah.”
She was really cautious about that. The Library Committee Head had said the people in the Shinto group were my “ultimate allies”, but Senpai was still cautious with me.
I felt like I could trust her, so…
“Senpai.”
I held out my hand while she sat there.
“Let’s go do this together.”
She answered by grabbing my hand.
“Yes, let’s.”
Then I realized something.
…This is the first time a girl has held my hand…
Damn. I wasn’t gonna wash that hand again no matter how much it started to smell. I swore to myself I wouldn’t. However…
<Your Divinity Rank has increased!>
All of a sudden, several windows appeared around Senpai and then shattered like blossoming flowers.
●
…W-wahh!”
She panicked because she was worried her name was displayed somewhere. However…
…I-I’m fine!
It said “7th + 3rd” in the name field, but that was okay. That could fit a lot of gods.
Her rank had just increased. She had a low level, but it was kind of amazing for her rank to go up. Even if it had only happened because they had promised to maintain their connection.
That was a lot like leveling up through an event, but…
“Incredible…”
“Eh? What is?”
She was a little bothered by how he was not letting go of her hand, but that aside, she had to explain what just happened.
“Sumeragi-kun, my ‘rank’ as a god went up because we established a connection between us.”
●
He tilted his head and stopped moving, so she realized she needed to explain further.
“Umm.”
Where was she supposed to start? But before she could find an answer…
<Ahh! Sorry I’m late! This is Balancer!>
A Revelation Board appeared displaying a simple face drawn with straight lines.
…Oh.
Balancer had finally appeared. She was honestly a little annoyed with that, but…
“This is the management.”
<Correct! I manage the terraforming! It sounded like you were about ready, so I thought this would be the best time for me to provide an explanation!>
“What’s this about?”
He sounded confused, but she decided it might be best to leave this to Balancer.
“I’m sure there’s still a lot you don’t understand, but we will explain all of that.”
“Oh, so it’s exposition time.”
Exactly.
●
The being called Balancer told me they were an AI.
<In general, I manage this system in an impartial fashion.>
Well, this was a game, so that probably wasn’t entirely accurate, but sometimes a less accurate explanation was easier to understand. I decided to just leave it at that.
There was already a location for me to listen to them with Senpai.
It was a stone hut.
I had just had my life’s first flirting event with Senpai, but that had not occurred on top of the lava like before. Instead, we had been on top of some hardened…volcanic rock, do you call it? Well, a cooled and hardened shelf of rock. And there was also a small hut made of rock.
I call it a hut, but it only had that general shape.
It had walls, window-like holes, and an entrance without a door. I thought it was pretty well made what with the roof and all, but it looked like someone had made it all at once. Y’know, like they had gotten excited and just gone for it.
The walls were nice and smooth, but…
“There aren’t any lights.”
<Oh, I can provide one.>
A window – apparently called a Revelation Board – appeared in the center of the ceiling. This one had a display saying it was for light. It was just like magic. Then we sat in the stone chairs built into the stone hut.
…Oh? This chair’s kinda warm.
Was it geothermal heat? I also belatedly realized Senpai was wearing a new style uniform.
Fantastic…
While I basked in the wonder of it, Balancer spun around and spoke.
<Now, I have determined you understand the basics of the current situation and have established your life in the Divine World, so I will provide an explanation of the bare minimum.>
“An explanation of what? This game?”
<Um, yes. This game. Let’s call it a game. We have been using that interpretation in the Divine World as well, but that will cause some confusion if it continues much longer.>
“Confusion?”
<Yes, confusion.>
…I don’t remember anything confusing about it.
Balancer then explained.
●
<This world is the real one. The world centered on Tachikawa is a virtual 1990 world that I created. Also, you are the only human in this world. Everyone else is a being known as a god, a spirit, or one of the automatons I have prepared.>
Interlude[edit]
<It feels like we might have screwed that up, doesn’t it?>
“Uh, please make sure it all works out, okay!? Okay!?”
Chapter 6: Gods 01[edit]
Would you call that a formality or an annoyance?
…Hmm!?
The AI just said something weird.
I glanced over at Senpai and found her looking at me with her fingers intertwined in front of her chest.
She seemed to be waiting for me to make a decision, so…
“Hold on. Hey. You just said something weird, didn’t you?”
I hit Balancer with a forehead flick and the screen shot forcefully away from me.
<Whoa!? Hey, that wasn’t very nice! …But I do understand what you are trying to say, so feel free! Bring it on!>
“Hey.”
I asked the first question I had.
“What do you mean everyone but me is a god?”
<I mean exactly that. You are a human. The others are gods. That is all.>
“But by gods…you mean those legendary beings?”
<Yes. All of the gods from earth’s legends exist.>
“Wait.”
I didn’t understand.
●
All the gods in the world – or on earth at least – really did exist? And they were gathered here?
But why would they do that?
And why was I the only human?
●
“Um.”
I asked Senpai a question.
“Does that mean you’re a god?”
“Eh? Oh, yes.”
She readily admitted it. Was this for real? But wait, something didn’t quite add up here. But her shoulders shrank down as she continued.
“Like I said before, um, I’m low level and an outsider…”
“But, uh, what can you do as a god?”
Her face lit up a bit when I asked that.
“I can show you that! Watch carefully, okay?”
“Sure thing.”
When I agreed, she placed her hand on the stone wall. And…
“There.”
The wall was clearly made of smooth, hardened volcanic rock, yet it transformed.
It was like she was kneading it or shaping it. She looked really good doing it, but just add an apron and it would’ve looked even, uh, gooder. My vocabulary had died. But while I watched, a part of the wall swelled out and formed a large heart shape.
…Eh?
She gestured me over, so I touched the 30cm heart on the wall. And…
“It’s solid…”
It was the same as the wall now. This was hardened lava, but that meant you would need a lot of heat to reshape it. Also, getting a heart shape to swell out from the wall would require “shrinking” the rest of the wall. But it didn’t look like the material for the heart had come from anywhere else on the wall. In that case…
“This makes no sense?”
<To put it another way, it is a miracle.>
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.”
I couldn’t accept this, so I turned to face the smug AI.
“You can do stuff like this with special effects or a magic trick, right? Like smashing the wall into sand and mixing it with a quick-dry material or something.”
Balancer gestured to the side with their face.
Senpai’s shoulders were clearly slumping.
“Ahhhhhhhhh! I was wrong! You’re definitely a god! I’d even call you a goddess! Which only makes sense, now that I think about it! I only doubted you because this idiot here was acting so smug!”
<D-don’t call me an idiot!>
Shut up. But…
“Listen up, you fraud of an AI! I’ll accept that Senpai is a god. But I refuse to believe it about the others!”
<Th-this is why I hate dumb humans…>
“Shut up. And why are they gods? Why am I the only human? Also, what do you mean this is reality? Then what was that summer break I was living before coming here? Give it back! Give back my summer break!”
<Shut up. That was the Divine World. To contain the gods of earth and eliminate any unfairness, a world was created based on a certain era. Thank you very much for using it.>
“A certain era?”
<Um, yes,> said Balancer.
<The current year is 3203, but the Divine World is set during the 1990s due to certain circumstances.>
●
I spun Balancer around with another forehead flick.
●
“Hey! You! Don’t just assume I’ll fall for all your crazy lies.”
<No, no, no, no, no. It’s true!>
“Then what’s this place?”
<You should have already seen the answer to that. In fact, you were a part of it.>
Balancer explained.
<Due to certain circumstances, the people who once lived on earth began moving to a habitable star system in the same general area of space.>
…Waiiiit.
What was this? It was all sounding like a lot of trouble. Surely someone was going to hop out with a “Tricked you!” sign soon, right? Come on out! C’mooooooooon!
●
No one came out.
While I stared blankly at the entrance, Senpai gave me a worried look.
Worrying a busty girl was out of the question, so…
“Hold on.”
<Have you managed to accept it?>
“No, no, no, no, no. Not at all, idiot.”
But I did kind of get the sequence of events Balancer was talking about.
“Let’s continue on the assumption that this is fiction.”
<Sure, sure!>
Anyway, I thought while gesturing from right to left with my right hand.
“So humanity left earth. And they arrived in a habitable star system.”
<Yes.>
“And even if it’s habitable, there are some places or planets that aren’t quite suitable. So…”
This had to be it.
“That’s where the terraforming comes in.”
●
<That is correct.>
She heard Balancer speak.
…This really is a difficult problem.
What he had stated was a simple sequence of events. However…
“So how does that, uh, lead to a bunch of gods, me being the only human, and a Divine World? What kind of excellent customer service led to that 1990 world?”
“Um.”
That word slipped out and two gazes turned her way. Balancer tilted the Revelation Board to nod and the boy noticed her too.
“G-go ahead, Senpai! Take over for this dumb liar of an AI and tell me the truth!”
<N-no, please take over for me! Tell the truth to this dumb and overly skeptical evolved ape!>
“Umm…”
She was extremely unsure whether or not she should do this. But…
“Hey, Sumeragi-kun?”
“Oh, yesh! What is it!? Tell me anything! Anything at all! Just say it!!”
“Calm down, Sumeragi-kun. Stop hopping around and sit down.”
He sat down with incredible force. But he was still swaying rapidly side to side, which could be a problem. Still, the “worship” gauge used to increase her divinity rank was rising on her Revelation Board, so she decided it was a good thing.
So she asked a question.
“Do you not think it was the humans who started the terraforming?”
“No, I don’t. I mean, leaving earth and settling elsewhere is a hell of a big task. And this here…outside in reality? Anyway, this place seems more like a long-term thing. Something where you’d have to create that sexy uniform you’re wearing and go all out with New Cult industry stuff!”
“Se…xy?”
He slapped himself on the cheek. And…
“Sorry! I just try to be true to myself!”
“Well, anyway.”
She decided to keep going.
“Humanity did of course prepare to terraform a new planet. They used cold sleep – or phenomenon freezing – to keep themselves safely asleep while AI took care of it, but the AI noticed a problem while approaching this star system. However, the AI still tried to terraform the planet using the standard method prepared for them.”
“The standard method?”
<Using specialized terraforming machines that are modified inside the settlement ships and then sent to the planet itself. Some of those machines are biological and we prepared a plan that was sure to work.>
“Did it not work?”
She shook her head.
“No. None of the machines worked, not even the biological ones.”
“Why not?”
He continued before she could answer.
“Oh, was there something already living in the star system that resisted or started a war?”
“Sort of. There was definitely a power that resisted. The environment itself was a problem, but I am referring to spirits. They are not intelligent, but they are quite powerful and none of the terraforming equipment – not even the combat ones – was any match for them.”
“Man, humanity sucks… And what were you AIs doing anyway?”
<This was entirely unexpected. I mean, it all worked perfectly well on earth and other nearby planets, but it stopped working altogether once we moved further away.>
“Ehhhh? Really? So it wasn’t just that you’re a bunch of dumb-dumbs? Kya ha ha!”
<Th-this boy…!>
She intervened to calm Balancer down and the AI sighed.
<Well, it is true it all ended in failure and we had no idea what was happening. It was all clearly beyond anything we expected. We only understood that our machines were being weakened somehow.>
●
“Weakened?”
<Yes. We assumed it was an environmental problem and investigated, but there was no issue with the gravity, atmospheric composition, or anything else. It was all well within expected bounds.>
However…
<During that investigation, we noticed something else.>
Balancer explained.
<We had sent in a wide variety of equipment and it was all overwhelmingly destroyed and defeated, but we noticed a slight difference in the results from few pieces of equipment. And…>
“You found something you couldn’t believe?”
<Yes.>
Balancer explained what had been so difficult to believe.
<The Japanese models that had received prayers for safety and victory (albeit digital ones) before being sent out were able to resist for longer.>
●
I tilted my head in confusion.
“That’s ridiculous. Prayer made them stronger?”
<Right!? As AI, we were highly skeptical!>
However…
<We investigated a few more times, but that was the only difference. We thought the location might alter the result and split up the prayer ones within the group, but the result was the same.>
Meaning…
<For some unknown reason, only the equipment that had received prayers was capable of resisting.>
●
Balancer still had the records of this. It had been beyond understanding and beyond anything they had expected.
<However, this told us something else: while the difference was small, we could increase their results through prayer. In that case, what was the identity of these prayers?>
“Did you investigate?”
<We did. We only have anecdotes to go off of, but at the beginning of the 2000s on earth, there were records of phenomena beyond our understanding and evidence that some other worlds fused with this one. We believe that established the concepts on earth known as ley lines and ether.>
“Sorry, that’s way too many technical terms, so can I ignore that stuff until later?”
This fool, thought Balancer while giving him a sidelong glance, but he ignored it. So they decided to keep going.
<We worked to find ways to extend the range of the difference and this is what we discovered:
- Shinto existed on earth.
- Shinto received some kind of power from the earth (ley lines, ether).
- Prayer is a method of transferring Shinto power to a target.
- Some trace amounts of Shinto power existed on the settlement ships.
- When prayer was performed on the settlement ships, it transferred a weaker power than on earth.
- The machines with that worked well.
- The machines without that did not work well.
<As an experiment, we used materials in space to create an unmanned factory outside the ship and created machines there. Prayer carried out there did not have any effect greater than the margin of error. We concluded that was due to the prayer power weakening the further you were from the settlement ships.>
Sumeragi raised his hand with a look of utter skepticism.
“Hey, where does the settlement ships’ Shinto power come from?”
<We estimate it comes from the humans sleeping within the ships. Especially the ones originally from Japan.>
Balancer continued explaining.
<As a model case for the Shinto experiment, we repeated the prayer experiments with methods originating from other mythologies and religions, but we found that prayer provided an advantage in all cases.>
●
“Whoa, wait, wait, wait.”
I placed a hand on my forehead and spoke up. I asked the AI to wait. That seemed like a bit of a leap of logic.
So I started with “hey”.
“How does this lead to there being gods?”
<That is simple. First, we found the divine protection power to be insufficient, inefficient, and a drain on our resources.>
So…
<Gods and religious stories are the ways humans expressed what the ley line power provided them. In other words, those gods and stories are ‘molds’ for that power. In which case…>
This I understood. I didn’t want to get it, but I did.
“You just had to create those ‘earth gods’ and send them to the planets that had nothing but chaotic power instead of gods. That way you could terraform the planets according to the myths of those gods. Gods are a mold for power, so they shape what’s already there instead of just adding something new. So…”
This is what it meant for them to be molds.
“By taking the molds of those earth gods and legends and applying them to the…ley lines? of those planets, you can calm their raging ley lines. In other words, you perform Divine Terraforming.”
●
Senpai nodded.
“Yes, that is correct.”
And she spoke.
“On a godless planet, gods like us and our stories are reproduced to calm the planet enough for humanity to land there.”
●
<I will explain the simple rules again later. For now, I will officially register you and this evolved ape for the terraforming project.>
“Oh, feels like I just had my game account set up.”
<The project name is Godly Planet. Please remember that.>
“Umm…”
This sounded so phony to me, but at the same time…
…This AI always comes up with a new explanation when I point out a problem.
It was just like a scam artist’s spiel. Once they had everyone believing something that was untrue but internally consistent, everyone would accept it all as long as they didn’t see how it was scamming them.
But there was one thing I had to ask.
“So…you say you created the gods, right?”
<Simply put, we provided power to ether information in order to create an information entity that manifested in a high density form. They are information entities that exist at a far higher density and level than humans like you, so they are what you could call higher beings.>
I didn’t understand any of that. If it was all made up, it was an extremely involved lie.
But anyway…
“In that case, you woke just me up from all the sleeping humans, right? Why?”
<Um, that will be explained to you in time…>
“Here, look at this.”
I looked over to see Senpai displaying a Revelation Board.
The end of some kind of digital meter was moving around a lot. It was a small value, but…
“What is this?”
“It’s you, Sumeragi-kun. When you are around, it increases the rate at which my divine rank grows.”
“Huh?”
I tilted my head. I wasn’t entirely certain, but I felt like I clearly understood something here.
“When a human like me worships a god, their rank as a god goes up?”
“Yes.”
She nodded.
“It was only us gods before, so our level couldn’t increase without advancing the terraforming. But with a human here, your worship can increase our rank as a god. But…”
She blushed as she continued.
“I’m a little suspicious of what about me you’re worshiping or why you’re having this much of an effect when I haven’t even revealed my name to you. But…yes.”
Now she smiled.
“Thank you for saying we could do this together.”
●
…Wow…
Was that meter really just a boobs meter right now?
It was constantly going up just like a water meter or power meter.
This was a lot of responsibility. I couldn’t afford to stop worshiping big boobs. However…
…Yeah.
I really felt bad that she was stuck with a partner like me. And…
…As a god, she might not strictly be a “person”, but she’s still a good person.
I had to avoid lying or being dishonest with her. But…
“Um, Senpai? I still don’t really believe all of this.”
“Hmm, but I think the only option now is to let you see for yourself.”
I had to agree with her there. However…
“Um, I honestly wouldn’t mind being deceived by you. So, uh, I don’t care what it is and it can be fake if you want, but is there anything you can use to prove that you’re a god?”
“Such as?”
“Oh, I know! Like letting me feel your boobs and go ‘Ahh! They’re reeeeal!’ I’d be 100% okay with that!”
“Eh?”
I slapped my own face. In fact, I used both hands, which was pretty dangerous. Balancer gave me a pixel-art glare, but I ignored it.
And Senpai thought for a bit.
“You know what? I’m not entirely sure this will be enough for you to believe me, but let’s try it.”
“What is it?”
“Well,” she said with a nod.
“Sumeragi-kun, as a human, you shouldn’t be able to lie about yourself or hide anything when standing in the presence of a god. …Can you think of anything like that?”
I had trouble thinking of anything not like that, so I just collapsed onto the floor.
●
“So it’s started.”
Shifu heard Tooru speak. They had just been discussing whether or not they should leave for a bit, but she agreed with her partner’s assessment.
“Time for the appearance of the gods and the recreation of their legends. …But there’s gonna be some political stuff too, right?”
“Of course there is. This star system only has so many planets. And how much of a star system a mythology ultimately controls can depend on whether that mythology is suited for terraforming or not.”
“It’s not just that.”
Tooru sighed.
“The foundational stuff hasn’t been dealt with on any of the planets yet and not even we are the most powerful beings. But there’s no one better suited to do it than us. The trouble we put up with for humanity, huh?”
But…
“Some gods might outsmart Balancer and surpass the limits of their legends again. …Having Sumeragi is supposed to help us out, so it’s probably best if we work with him on the Shinto legend recreation and our own recreations.”
Tooru smiled a little and Shifu smiled too.
“Y’know.”
“What is it, Saku?”
She nodded.
“We might be on a godless planet, but it feels so full of life compared to before. Weird, isn’t it?”
v
Chapter 7: SimEarth 01[edit]
Some things get through even when you don’t understand
Now, then, I thought.
I left the stone hut and found an area of land below the starry sky. I turned back toward Balancer and Senpai who had followed me.
“So has the terraforming already started?”
“Yes, it has.”
Senpai gestured at our surroundings and the stone hut.
“I created all of this earlier.”
I loved that proud look on her face. That confidence in her own accomplishments was great. I wanted to marry her at least 5 times! But aside from that inner desire, I asked Balancer a question.
“Does that mean Senpai turned the lava sea into land to terraform it?”
<Exactly right. But since I seriously doubt you know, I will add that she is not cooling the planet itself to create land. She is using her power as a god to forcibly create land. That hides the geothermal heat and lowers the planet’s surface temperature.>
Dammit, the AI got carried away and started getting into the details.
Luckily, I understood that stuff a little. To start with…
“And by cooling the planet, you create water?”
Senpai applauded my answer. On the other hand, Balancer displayed a dumbfounded expression on the screen.
<I thought you were just an idiot, but it seems I have misjudged you. How humiliating.>
“Is it really that bad? …Oh, but wait! Are you that shocked and appalled to learn I know something about this!? Uhohoi! Uhohoi! Take that! So what happens next?”
<Y-you damn descendent of the apes!>
Balancer’s opinion of me seemed to have reverted to normal. Anyway, they tilted the screen once and then spoke.
<First things first. You really need to bow down and apologize to her.>
I immediately prostrated myself on my back at Senpai’s feet.
“Ahh! Low aaaaaangle! But that moving screen told me to do this, so blame it, not meeeeeeee!”
<Feel free to stomp on him.>
“No, no, no. What is this about anyway?”
“It’s about how your boobs are so big I can’t see your face from below!”
This was a discovery! I had already discovered it when she gave me a lap pillow earlier, so this made it a double discovery. Incredible. I wanted to increase the degree of this discovery as much as possible.
“Thank you for this excellent opportunity, screen! I misjudged you!”
<I am not a screen. Well, I kind of am, but calling me that would only invite confusion, so I recommend using the more accurate name of Balancer.>
It would be a pain to have to correct myself if that kind of confusion happened later on, so I was fine with switching to that name now. And I had something to say to Balancer and to Senpai.
“Balancer, are you saying I’m only able to breathe and survive here because of Senpai?”
<Could you please stand up before continuing the conversation?>
“Dammit! You just don’t get it! Why don’t you understand!? This isn’t about that! It’s more…you know.”
“Um, Sumeragi-kun? The ground here is rock, so doesn’t it hurt your back?”
“Oh, I’m A-OK! I’m willing to put up with this much if it lets me get a low-angle view from the very ground you created!”
I crawled along the ground and looked up at Balancer.
“How about that!? This spot on the ground here, that one over there, and all the other ones around here are handmade masterpieces Senpai worked hard to create while her huge boobs jiggling all the while. Ahh, I can feel her touch all over my body! I bet you’re jealous! Jealous you’ll never know how this feels!”
<This idiot refuses to continue the conversation, so how about we continue it ourselves?>
“But, um, he’s my partner…”
Oh, no. I was turning into a bad underclassman who caused his upperclassman trouble. I scrambled to my feet and tilted my head toward Balancer.
“So what is it? I’ll hear you out.”
<Kh…!>
Balancer turned the other way and shook up and down for a bit. After a while, the screen faced me again and resumed speaking.
<To get back on topic, it is indeed thanks to her that you can survive here. While you are near her, her power as a god protects you as her believer…or an ujiko as it is known in Shinto.”
●
“Senpai, you’re so cooooooool!”
She smiled back at me and I could tell how easily swayed I was.
Oh, this was not good at all. I was really too easily swayed when it came to her. It was like I had fallen for her the instant we met, but who could blame me when she was a god!?
However, she narrowed her eyes and spoke.
“My divine rank increased after we came together as partners, remember? That allowed me to do a lot more than before.”
“We came together as partners!?”
“Eh?”
<Hey.>
I slapped my own cheek. Bad. Bad me. When I was in the presence of a god, my glass heart couldn’t hide anything and it all came spilling out.
That said, it was my turn to speak, so I asked a question.
“What kinds of things can you do now?”
“Before when I would transform lava or a similar geographical phase into a rocky ground like this, I could only affect my immediate surroundings and the space beyond my outstretched hand, but the range of the effect has increased somewhat. Just watch.”
She walked to the edge of the land.
Hot air and embers were rising from there. It had to have been scorching hot, but I was fine and couldn’t feel any heat. And Senpai was a god, so she was probably even more fine than me.
When she held out her hand, something happened.
An area of lava about 30m wide and long transformed into rocky land.
●
“Ohhh…”
It was like painting over the terrain or using a roller or something.
<She has transformed the phase.>
“The phase?”
<A “phase” is the mold given to the terrain by the ley lines or that otherwise develops on the terrain. You can think of it as another term for the type of geographical feature present in an area.>
“What does that mean?”
Balancer glared at me.
<That wasn’t enough to understand?>
“No, not really. Cause you suck at explaining things.”
We exchanged insults for around 2 minutes. By then, Senpai had returned and she explained for me.
“Um, ley lines flow through every part of the world. Do you…know what ley lines are? Oh…well, they are the large currents of ether that create the space around them.”
“I am glad you could figure that one out from the look on my face. You’ve both neglected to explain that part for a while now.”
She gave a more relaxed nod than before and held both hands out as if supporting the emptiness there.
“This is what we call ‘space’.”
●
I decided to listen to Senpai’s lecture. That’s what it meant to be an underclassman. Yes. So I stood right in front of her.
“Sorry, Senpai.”
“For what?”
“There’s a good chance I’m going to end up staring at your chest while you explain this, but I assure you I am listening and all I am doing is staring. So please ignore it.”
“U-umm.”
She was clearly flustered and then Balancer spoke without warning.
<Oh, this should be a good example.>
Immediately afterwards, something happened.
There was light.
The 1m cube of “space” above Senpai’s hands suddenly glowed, burst, and shattered.
●
…Huh!?
I had no idea what was going on. I thought Senpai may have brought a flashlight or something with her, but…
“The light…”
The shattering light was clearly solid. It was almost like glowing shards of ice or glass, but they scattered in the planet’s scorching wind and vanished as if unraveling.
…What was that?
I didn’t know. But Senpai checked a Revelation Board in slight surprise and then looked at me.
“Surprised? I mean, it surprised me too.”
“Well, yes, it surprised me…but what was that light? Or fragments?”
“Um, that was a failure.”
“A failure?”
I had expected something interesting, but that was her answer. I had wanted to know what that “solid” light was, but whatever! Having a conversation with Senpai was good enough for me! I don’t think I’d ever spoken with a girl this long in my life! I could die happy now!
“Um, your odd behavior distracted me and that made me mess up and cause an unexpected transformation.”
“Eh? So it was…my fault.”
“No, I didn’t say that. It isn’t about anyone being at fault.”
<No, don’t go easy on him! Really let him have it!>
“Dammit, this talking screen needs to show me more respect!”
Senpai intervened and then held up her hand again.
“The light exploded last time, but think of this as me holding up this ‘space’ with my hand. Yes, this 1m cube of space you can see right here.”
“Oh, right,” I said as I viewed the empty space between us that she was seemingly supporting with her hand.
“What is in this space right now?”
“Noth-…”
I started to answer, but then I realized that wasn’t true.
“This planet’s…atmosphere? And heat too. Not to mention wind…oh, but that’s just the atmosphere again.”
“No, you can look at it like that. Now, allow me to explain.”
Senpai continued talking.
“If I smoosh the space like this, then – pow! – it changes. You see, ether is fwooshing through his space, but my smooshing makes it only sloosh through.”
Oh, she’s really bad at explaining things.
●
“Do you understand now?”
When she asked me that, I turned toward Balancer and found the talking screen angled down toward the ground.
“Hey, what’s the deal? Don’t tell me you didn’t understand Senpai’s explanation.”
<…Are you saying you did understand it?>
“Don’t be dumb! I can understand anything she says! She smooshes it so it goes squoosh and ahaaahn, right!? Damn, that was cute!”
“No, um, when I smoosh it, it only slooshes, which makes it go pow.”
“See, just like I said!?”
●
“Did you understand that?”
“I mean, I get what she was trying to say, but that was not it…”
“This is supposed to be like the tutorial, so are we already screwed?”
●
Balancer wanted to just disappear, but they managed to recover mentally.
They formed words to speak to the descendant of apes.
<This world is filled with ley lines. In other words, there is no place through which the ley lines do not pass. …Do you understand that much?>
“Are they something like blood vessels?”
<Wow, this ape kind of does understand… Oh, just speaking to myself. Please ignore it. Anyway, the term originally referred to an aspect of the terrain, but the actual ley lines exist in all of space and not just the ground. If you think of the entire world as an ocean, then the ley lines are like the ocean currents.>
And…
<The substance flowing through the ley lines is known as ether. Ether is sort of synonymous with the ley lines, but the relationship is similar to that of the ocean and water. “Ley lines” refers to the whole and “ether” refers to a specific area or target of change.>
“If we’re talking about the ocean, wouldn’t it be seawater and not just water?”
Balancer really wanted a way to delete him from existence.
For a few seconds, they used their high-speed thoughts to search their database for methods of calming oneself down and put those methods to practice in a virtual space. Once back in top form, they resumed speaking.
<In other words, we too are ley lines and ether.>
“Wait.”
<What is it?>
The idiot pointed at his partner and tilted his head.
“How does that make sense? I mean, if Senpai and I are part of the ley lines, shouldn’t we be flowing? You said the ley lines are like currents, right? But we’re not flowing at all. Aren’t the ley lines passing right through us?”
<No. You, she, and I are made of ether and we form a portion of the ley lines. And we are indeed caught in the current of the ley lines.>
“Then why-…”
Hearing his question would be a pain, so Balancer preemptively answered it.
<Because we have molds. That is the same thing as the phases we mentioned earlier. You have your own mold and that is what preserves you. She, I, and the world itself also have our own molds that allow us to exist. That is the answer.>
●
<When ether fills a mold, it creates the form indicated by the mold. It is something like a water balloon. And since ether exists everywhere, the mold constantly maintains its form.>
That was a simple rule.
They all were able to exist here because of their molds. Without a mold, the ether would have no fixed state or direction and it would break apart and pass right through them.
<To take humans as an example, information begins to accumulate once the egg is fertilized in their mother’s womb and that information eventually creates their unique mold.>
And…
<This ground and everything else is the same. The phase of the terrain is no more than a largescale mold, so it takes its current form when ether flows through it and some of the ether remains behind and is given a direction.>
“Hold on.”
<What is it?>
This boy would have nothing but skepticism for Balancer’s words. In fact, he probably did not really understand the rules yet. And he asked exactly the question Balancer had expected.
“How does that make sense?”
<What about it does not make sense?>
“Well, you said the world has the shape it does and I have my human form because we have molds, right? But that’s not how it works. I ended up like this because of cell division and this planet was formed by gravity, heat, and other physical laws… Yeah, it’s because of the laws of physics!”
<A fair point.>
Balancer accepted that and the idiot gave them a suspicious look.
But the explanation was only just getting started.
<But that is only because those were the laws of physics installed as an OS in this world’s ley lines.>
●
“What?”
What Balancer said sounded crazy.
…Senpai and I only exist because we have our individual molds?
That was nonsense. But when I protested, they explained it away by saying the world’s laws of physics were an OS in the ley lines.
But did that even mean anything?
“How does that make sense?” I asked.
“This world has the laws of physics and that explain everything just fine, so why even bring ley lines, ether, and molds into it?”
<Please think more about it. I said ether contains this world’s basic laws of physics, but what if I told you ether can be controlled?>
“What?”
I repeated the same confused question because I didn’t get what the talking screen meant.
…Ether can be controlled?
“You mean you can like…move it left or right?”
“No, not like that…”
<Ether is the basic building block of space and it is also the laws of physics that govern the world.>
But you could control it.
What did that mean?
“You take it, make it go all gwoon, and then whap it back together!”
“You’re super cute, Senpai!”
What was she working so hard to tell me? I thought I understood, but if I did, then it meant something very strange indeed. However…
“Do I need to understand this for us to work together?”
That would be bad news. I mean, this was my chance to work with a busty, long black-haired, good-looking, hard-working new style uniform girl who explained things using onomatopoeia! If I let this opportunity slip by me, I’d probably just die. And I’m not exaggerating. I mean it. So I needed to work at this. And I knew what I had to say, as crazy as it sounded.
“Can you control ether to transform what’s in a space into something else or to rewrite the laws of physics there into something else!?”
●
Balancer decided they had crossed the largest hurdle here.
<Correct. I am glad you caught on so quickly.>
She raised her voice to celebrate and the idiot tried to downplay it, but this was something everyone but him already understood.
<This world’s physical laws are determined by the OS installed in the ether, so they are easily rewritten. And while ether requires a mold to form whatever it might form, those molds can be rewritten or the ether can be directly rewritten to transform whatever it is into something else.>
“So it’s like alchemy?”
<That was a flawed methodology.>
But this descendant of apes had to understand by now.
<She created land earlier and you saw those shards of light scattering, didn’t you? Do you know what that was now?>
The idiot said yes and nodded. When she raised her hand again, he also nodded at her.
“Within the range she can control, Senpai rewrote the ether’s mold from that of lava to that of rock. And when my passion was too much for her to handle, she accidentally rewrote that space into ‘light’. But not the light of this world. A solid light.”
<We are fortunate it was only light. If it had transformed into a black hole or some other state she is unable to control, I would have had to forcibly intervene.>
Now…
<That said, it is difficult for humans to control ether like that. There is a method that we call magic, but it is inefficient. Our high-speed thoughts can immediately construct the technical system from the ground up, but then there is no need for humans and it also brings our own purpose into question. So…>
“So the gods?”
<Exactly.>
At that point, it was an issue of work efficiency.
<What is the difference between gods and humans? Humans cannot escape the grasp of the world’s physical laws, but gods can rewrite the ether within the bounds of their authority. In other words, gods can cause ‘miracles’ beyond human comprehension.>
So…
<When attempting a largescale task, the work can be made more efficient and stable with the help of gods who can bend the laws of physics and rewrite the world. But even those gods have their limits. …That is why human worship is needed to lift up the gods. This should be done before the gods hand the world over to the humans, so that is what we have done. …That is the current situation.>
●
…This screen sure likes to talk…
I felt like I more or less understood.
To put it simply…
“The gods are going to transform the world, so I’ve gotta help ‘em out.”
<Yes, that more or less describes what you must do.>
“Did you really need to explain all that stuff about ether and molds?”
<You must be able to communicate with her for the work ahead. If you did not understand the process, you would be the same as an ape given a lighter. You could never come up with any new ideas on your own.>
That sort of made sense to me.
And with that settled, I turned toward Senpai.
“Senpai, I can’t really trust this talking screen, but will you give me reason to trust you?”
“Um, yes. This is what I wanted to show you earlier.”
She gently lifted her hand as it supported the empty air.
…Her boobs are jiggling…
Just as I was admiring their movement, something else happened.
The 1m cube of space above her hand suddenly became water.
●
It happened in an instant. With no time lag at all, a portion of the planet’s atmosphere became water.
“This isn’t my specialty, but I can do this much with the basic authority.”
I knew this made no sense at all. Because…
“How hot is the air here?”
<About 300 degrees Celsius.>
That was even hotter than I had thought. And yet a cube of water was just floating there.
It should have vaporized.
“It’s like a magic trick…”
Despite what I said, this had to be all that stuff about molds.
“Senpai, are you ‘preserving’ that water right now?”
“Everything in my territory is protected by my power. That’s why you and I can stand here without issue.”
“Then,” I said.
“If you released it, it would vaporize right away, wouldn’t it?”
“Yes, I was thinking I could show you that to help you understand.”
I turned toward the talking screen and they turned to look at me.
I asked a question.
“A steam explosion is a favorite chemical reaction of kids everywhere, isn’t it?”
<By the way, when water boils, its volume expands approximately 1700 times.>
We looked at the water Senpai was holding up and she spread her mouth horizontally.
“Oh, dear. What am I supposed to do with this now?”
<The two of us will not die. Although the idiot will be killed instantly as his status is only slightly above that of an ape.>
“Wow! I love that exciting lack of caring. I’ll look up how to reformat you later, so let me see your database then, okay!?”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait. I can take this water and, um…?”
“Oh, can you transform it into something else?”
<Her rank as a god is still quite low, so transforming air into water and then into something else is asking a little too much of her.>
“Then what do we do?”
<The range of her phase expanded when her rank increased earlier, so it will not explode the instant she lets go of it. It should be fine if she sprinkles the water inside the stone hut over there and then we move away before letting it explode.>
The stone hut shook violently, but it survived.
“Yes, you can’t destroy my creation.”
Senpai was super cute when she got a little smug.
“This will be cramming in a lot of information, but how about we explain the current situation and how to make the terraforming process even more efficient.”
Chapter 8: SimEarth 02[edit]
Don’t try to get through to them if you don’t understand
Once we had decided to resume the terraforming, I spoke to Balancer and Senpai.
To Senpai…
“Okay, Senpai! I’m counting on you!”
“Yes, let’s do our best!”
To Balancer…
“Hey, don’t you dare slack off.”
<Th-this ape!>
But Balancer did ask a question.
<Just to be sure, do you actually understand the terraforming plan?>
“Eh? Aren’t we cooling the hot planet?”
<And why must we cool it?>
“Cause we want water.”
<And why do we want water?>
“Cause we’re thirsty.”
<…>
“Hey, don’t give me that ‘you idiot’ look. Don’t think I’ll forget this, cause I won’t! So don’t you forget it either!”
<I do think you are an idiot, but we are not terraforming the planet to quench your thirst.>
I thought about that and I did kind of remember seeing something about this in one of the books I checked out from the library.
Oh, no. Senpai was looking at me with hope in her eyes. She was staring at me! Ahh! Never before in my life had a good-looking and busty girl given me a look so full of hope!
…Now I feel trapped!
I really would have preferred for her not to look at me when I was revealing how dumb I was. Ahh! Please, Senpai! Don’t…don’t look at meeeee! Gwah! But I didn’t want Balancer to have their way with me either…
Anyway, I did have one thought.
“The answer just kind of came to me and I answered without thinking too hard, but isn’t it kind of weird to get water by cooling the planet?”
<The water that rises into the sky upon being heated will fall as rain once things cool, so cooling the planet is correct. Of course, that only applies to a planet that has water in the first place.>
“Does this planet have water?”
<It does. So suppressing the surface heat by forcibly making land out of the lava is the logical course of action.>
“In that case…”
“We reach Balancer’s earlier question about why we want water. Or to rephrase it: why do we want rain? Can you think about that?”
I pondered Senpai’s words.
What reason would we have in this case?
“Senpai, I’m going to just say everything that comes to mind, so please listen.”
●
I looked straight at Senpai.
…Oh, she’s so tall…
Her shoes played a role, but she was tall regardless. Come to think of it, Shifu-senpai from the game club was also super tall with big boobs. Is that just how gods were? Oh, no, no. Kuwajiri was short with a flat chest, so…
“Is a god’s chest size proportional to her height!? Is that how it works, Senpai!? I think you’re just right on both fronts!”
“Eh?”
I slapped my cheek. Balancer was giving me a harsh look, but I ignored it. And…
“Why do we want water? Or, why do we want rain?”
I calmed my thoughts and spoke my mind.
“It leads to the see-through genre.”
“Eh?”
I slapped my cheek. The other one from before. The red would stand out too much if I did the same one twice!
Anyway, that was the wrong answer. I mean, it was accurate, but it wasn’t the answer she wanted. Yes, if it rained, Senpai’s uniform would grow see-through and then while we sheltered from the rain together…ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh!
<Are you okay, idiot?>
“I’m at the good part, so don’t interrupt me! Idiot! Idiot!”
<You only seem to be growing more obnoxious, so please get back on topic.>
“Fair enough.”
I thought a while longer.
“I know. When it rains, it will cool the lava regions and further…landify? the planet.”
Senpai applauded with a smile.
●
…Go, me!
This was like…y’know, the video game tutorial where you’re praised for changing the world even though all you did was press a single button. Yes, I was easily satisfied. But was there a single part of me that wouldn’t be motivated by praise from a person – well, a god – like Senpai for saying some simple thing!? No, there wasn’t!
So I had more to say.
“As the rain falls, it will accumulate in the cooled areas.”
“And what happens then?”
“Um, it makes puddles?”
<We are not talking about your neighborhood, so think in terms of natural phenomena.>
“Then it makes lakes?”
“Yes, that’s right. But try to think bigger. And when water accumulates and starts to flow, what does it end up creating?”
I responded as an underclassmen being guided by his upperclassman.
“When the accumulated water starts to flow, it creates a river….”
“Yes, and then what happens?”
I thought about it.
There would be rivers, but what would they ultimately create?
“…It makes an ocean?”
●
When Senpai applauded and I struck a pose with both hands raised, the talking screen cleared their throat.
<To be more accurate, in the early stages of terraforming, there are no rivers as people generally think of them. The water flows to and accumulates in the lower areas where it creates oceans.>
“You just have to get the last word in, don’t you? But what do you mean there aren’t any rivers?”
“The newly-cooled land is a lot like water turned to ice, so there are no mountains or valleys or anything. And there is no water-retaining dirt which is necessary for a river to function.”
“You mean…?”
<There is no plant life either, so the ground has none of the water retention needed to maintain a river. So when the rain falls while the ground is still cooling, the water cycle is much more direct and the environmental changes are quite dramatic when it collides with the regions that are still quite hot.>
“For example?”
“The steam explosions we mentioned before. When the rain or flowing water hits the lava or heated ground, it will go kaboom all over the place, the atmosphere will bwoosh wildly, and it will finally smoosh together to form a giant air current. There are no mountains or hills on the surface, so the air current will become super hot and fwoosh across the land.”
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
<Yes, but it will also cool the surface. However, the subterranean heat will not be cooled and the lava will continue to move thanks to the influence of the planet’s rotation and other factors. Do you know what happens to the cooled land on top when that happens?>
I thought about it. I knew exactly what they were asking: what happens to the chocolate on top of the ice cream if you eat the ice cream first?
“It’ll split apart?”
Senpai applauded with a smile. I was right. Go, me! Balancer, don’t give me that look, okay? But…
“And how will the land move when it splits apart?”
I thought about that question. What would happen if the ice cream in question was the size of this land?
The term “fissure” came to mind, but that wasn’t it.
“Will it create mountains and things like that?”
<We are skipping past large parts of the process, but more or less. And once mountains and valleys exist, there will be lower areas for oceans to form.>
But Balancer had more to say.
<When water forms and rain falls, oceans will form, but what happens then? Tell me what comes to mind.>
●
What happened once you had oceans?
I answered with complete self-confidence.
“We can wear swimsuits… Hey, don’t give me that look, screen.”
“Eh?”
I slapped the front of my face. I had already slapped both cheeks a fair bit, so this was to balance it out.
Anyway, I thought some more about what happened once you had oceans.
…It feels too soon to say you get life.
“Would it be too spiritual to say the oceans would be teeming with life?”
“That does happen, but think of it as the next stage.”
<And it is not so much spiritual as creepy when you say it.>
“What, you wanna fight!? Huh!?”
I decided to ignore the small fry. Cause I was a big shot. And a big shot wouldn’t stumble over a small pebble in their path. Damn that stupid screen!
Anyway, what were we talking about? Right, what happened once you had oceans. I realized something as I thought about it.
…This terraforming is being done by gods like Senpai…
In that case, I could return to the earlier lecture.
Ley lines, ether, and molds. If all those existed…
“It creates more phases.”
●
I realized that was probably the right answer, so I said more.
“Originally, the land was nothing but lava and the air was nothing but stormy heat, but when you cool them down, you get some actual land, even if it’s just rock. And when rain falls on that and forms oceans, a major change occurs.”
<And what is that?>
“A phase. With the lava and stormy air, those were the only phases on the planet. And since they’re very active and cover the entire planet, they’re too all-encompassing. But…”
But…
“Cooling them gives you rocky land and oceans, which increases the overall number of phases.”
What happened when you had more phases?
“Phases are molds. So when you have more phases, they’re easier to use. …Is that it?”
<That is going a bit too far. Although knowing that would require knowledge we have not provided you.>
“But that’s more or less it. You’re right, Sumeragi-kun.”
“Yay! A compliment from Senpai! Bet you’re jealous, Balancer!”
<Ohhh, how very jealous I ammmm. Oh, sorry about the deadpan tone.>
“So you’re jealous, huh!? Uhohoi! Uhohoi!”
<Y-you weren’t even listening, were you!? You idiot!>
But Balancer got back on topic.
<Anyway, it seems you understand the beginning steps and you seem to understand the purpose behind adding more phases. Now…it is time you understood how the odds are stacked against you.>
“The odds are stacked against us? You mean Senpai and me aren’t unbeatable if we work together?”
Senpai stammered and gave me a troubled smile, so there was clearly something to this. There was always a reason for a good-looking girl’s bitter smile. I hadn’t ever known any good-looking girls well enough to know, but I was pretty sure it was true.
Anyway, Senpai walked forward and stopped at the edge of the rocky land.
“Watch for a moment, okay?”
●
I saw Senpai hold both hands out over the sea of lava.
Just like before, she rewrote a 30m square of lava into rocky land. So…
“Incredible, senpai! Nice rocking!”
“No, it was nothing…”
<Um, was that not enough to figure it out?>
“Eh? You mean to figure out that Senpai’s god powers are beautiful or that the way she swings her arms forward causes her skirt to lift up in the back and you can’t help but think ‘nice ass’ if you’re standing behind her?”
“Eh?”
I pointed at Balancer.
“It’s this thing’s fault! They asked a leading question!”
<You’re doing this because you’re sick of slapping yourself, aren’t you!?>
That was pretty much it. Self-harm was bad, after all. But I was curious about what Balancer had said.
“What was I supposed to have figured out?”
<How much land was created by her technique?>
“A square of about 30 meters?”
It hit me when I said it out loud.
…Oh, so that’s it.
●
I kind of got it.
This terraforming would not be easy. And it would not be easy on Senpai either.
This was all sounding a lot harder than I had been thinking.
And just as I realized that, Balancer spoke up.
<This planet is extremely close to the earth in size, so it has a total surface area of 510,060,000km2.>
“Y’know.”
I spoke up.
“I am doing this with Senpai. That’s already a given. So don’t underestimate us, Balancer. Nothing you say can scare me off, so quit beating around the bush and just say it.”
<I see. That simplifies matters. Then I will say it.>
They said it.
<Your god partner can only create a 30m square of land at a time, so how is she supposed to terraform an area of 510,060,000km2?”
●
Wait, I thought to myself.
I couldn’t protest this just to be contrarian, so I had to think.
I had just been presented with a challenge. I was told Senpai’s power was not enough to terraform the planet.
And I knew she had to be worrying about the exact same thing.
I mean, she had been so excited and thanked me when my presence increased her divine rank.
That showed just how important it was for her to increase that rank.
…She might be weak as a god.
But she was trying to get stronger and she had said she would do this with me.
So that settled it.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s only 30m or whatever. I’m doing this with Senpai and she says she’ll do it with me. That’s a given. So, Balancer, what options do we have to complete the terraforming? Tell me that.”
●
Balancer sighed in their heart.
What a pain, they thought.
<Humanity really does love showing off for no real reason.>
They had to understand what it meant to use efficient methods based on logical and realistic ideas, yet they always grew emotional and made mistakes to save face and preserve their pride.
But was that the case this time? Balancer considered that question.
…That’s right.
The overall objective of this mission was for him to complete the terraforming. And he had chosen her as his partner.
So this was not a problem if he was trying to do the terraforming. And if Balancer did not see a problem, it was their duty to fulfill any demand from humankind.
So that was what they did.
<There are three ways.>
The 1st.
<1. Continue terraforming with her while also worshiping her to increase her divine rank. That will strengthen her power and she will ultimately be able to perform largescale terraforming at will.>
The 2nd.
<2. Get creative. There is only so much she can do with that one power, but it is possible a little creativity could greatly change the efficiency and result. So think about that for now. And if you cannot come up with anything…>
The 3rd.
<3. This one is simple: get help from another god.>
●
I raised my eyebrows.
“Wait. Senpai is my partner. She might back out of our partnership when she realizes how vulgar, lewd, and sometimes downright perverted I can be, but she will still be the partner for me. Oh, and that was a nice speech, so make sure to record it.”
<Oh, sorry. The first half was so awful my mind numbed over and I missed the rest. Did you say anything worthwhile?>
“D-damn you…”
But I had to move on, so I asked the question on my mind.
“How exactly would we get help from another god?”
<That is simple. The group of gods that agreed to let you two terraform this planet can assist you. In other words, you can temporarily borrow the powers of the gods who are on your side.>
Just as Balancer said that, I heard a voice from behind. And I recognized it.
“Yeah, that’s about the size of it.”
●
I turned around to see the members of the game club.
I wasn’t even surprised at this point.
“So you really are gods?”
“How should I put this? I might be the weakest of the group, but even I am a higher being than you.”
“Now, now,” said Shifu-senpai as she took a step forward.
“Okay, Sumeragi-chan and Senpai-chan there. After we introduce ourselves, we can talk about how to borrow our powers for the terraforming and about how the terraforming hasn’t made any real progress.”
Chapter 9: Gods 02[edit]
Absurdity and terraforming go hand in hand
“Yahoo. Sumeragi-chan and Senpai-chan. I think we’ll be joining you here.”
Shifu had some thoughts on this matter. They were “other gods” like Balancer had mentioned, but…
“Explaining all the rules and other information would be a giant pain. How much are we going to tell him?”
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t explain more than I understand.”
“Yeah, but you understood quite a lot of it. In fact, you understand more than me in places, so by that standard, we’d have to explain everything.”
“IIII am probably the siiiiimplest example. So call me oooover for that part.”
She really appreciated that. Or rather, it was now up to her how easy this would be. But for now, she just came out and said it.
“Balancer? Could you introduce us as much as you deem necessary right now?”
<Yes. I will only explain the bare minimum, but I have determined that is safest.>
“So we’re going with what’s ‘safe’, huh?”
Well, there were parts of this that made that sound like a good idea.
●
I noticed Senpai looked nervous standing next to me.
“…”
I could guess what this was about, but I didn’t know if I was right. She had the look of a child who had been caught goofing off and she had her fingers intertwined in front of her waist, but there was no way she could see them past her boobs! While staring at her fingers intertwined like a cat’s cradle, I started imagining myself as some Sanuki udon caught between her fingers. Ah, ah, ahhhh! Senpai, you really know how to work some udoooooooooon!
“Nice…”
“Eh?”
I slapped my own cheek. The left and right slapping counters had reset when Shifu-senpai’s group arrived. And they seemed to have reached an agreement with Balancer because Shifu-senpai raised a hand and Balancer approached us.
<Okay, I believe you have already met them, so there is no need to introduce their Divine World identities. …Shall we get to work then?>
“Hollllllllllld it! I need more of an introduction than that! Don’t you need to tell me which gods of the Big Boobs Basilica or Titan Titties Temple they are!? Or do I need to make you fondle my chest!?”
<Huh? To be clear, I have no hands. Did you hit your head?>
●
Kuwajiri watched the idiot shove Balancer inside his old style uniform shirt and start doing pushups on the rocky ground.
<Ahhhhhhh! Stop pressing your chest against the ground like that!>
“Oh? Ohhh? How about that? How do you like that? Is this what you like?”
“…When did they become such good friends?”
“I’m surprised Sumeragi-chan can do so many pushups.”
“He has his hips lifted a little, so he’s cheating. Yeah.”
●
<You are the worst! The absolute worst, you evolved ape! Why would you do this to an AI!?>
“Shut up! Well!? Learned your lesson!? I’m not afraid of some pleasant muscle exhaustion if it lets me harass someone!”
I struck a pose and Senpai gave some halfhearted applause while unable to look directly at me. Yes! She’s cheering me on! I need to work out more in the future!
“So what are you going to do?”
<Hmm. Well, if this low intelligence ape requires an explanation, I can provide one.>
“Yay! This AI can’t say no when a low intelligence ape breaks out the pushups!”
Shifu-senpai consoled Balancer and I realized I was only causing trouble for a busty girl here. I had to stop.
Then Balancer sighed, floated in front of me, and spoke.
<They are some of your helpers. To explain as succinctly as possible, more than one planet in this star system is being terraformed and they have made good progress on the planets they were given.>
“Eh? So the thing about them being obsessed players was accurate?”
“You could say that. We’ve more or less gotten our planets to the point that the habitable percentage of the planet is in the safe zone. That’s why we’re here to help out.”
<Yomoji handles a single planet on his own and the other three work with their companions on another planet. The basic terraforming of both those planets is complete.>
I nodded while noticing how incredibly nervous Senpai was next to me.
“Um, Senpai?”
“…!?”
She was nervous enough to jump when I talked to her. I was worried, but personal temperament was a factor in these things, so it was what it was. However…
“Don’t worry, Senpai. With me around, your divine rank will just keep going up.”
“Eh?”
Despite the usual reaction, this was not the time to slap my face.
“With my big boobs worship, your divine rank can continue rising indefinitely.”
I nailed that line. I just knew it. If you were making a marriage proposal, you couldn’t hope for nailing it better than that. Yeah, I was so glad the system was directly influenced by my fetish. So very glad…
“Sumeragi-kun, you joke around a little too much, but I trust you.”
When had I ever joked about anything? Oh, she meant about Balancer. That was definitely a problem. I wasn’t easy to rile up, so I needed to respond to that talking screen with a witty comeback. A normal person would just get mad, but not me.
<What are you muttering about, you creepy ape?>
“Yoooooooooou! You!!”
“Sumeragi-kun, stop acting so angry and calm down.”
“Acting angry!? Like what!?”
She looked confused, but she finally clenched both her fists and…
“Hmph! Hmph! …Like that.”
●
…You know the hit is coming, but it’s still too much for you. I kind of like the feeling.
●
I just about died there.
Come to think of it, Senpai was a god, so of course a human was no match for a direct hit from her.
But anyway, I understood why Senpai was so nervous.
…A difference in rank, huh?
The others had a higher divine rank.
Of course they did. If they were free to leave their terraforming to help us, they had to be a lot further along. Their rank would be far higher than Senpai, who could only create 30m square chunks of land at a time. Also…
“Are you all Shinto too?”
“No, we’re not.”
Shifu-senpai glanced over at Raidou-senpai who nodded.
“Shifu, Kuwajiri, and I are Norse. And Yomoji here…”
“Yesss,” said Yomoji-senpai while elegantly spreading his arms.
“I ammmm…you knowww, the One True God of that monotheistic faith. That is who I ammmm.”
“Am I just supposed to ignore that this means the One True God exists alongside other gods?”
“Ha ha ha ha. There are actually a looooot of One True Gods. I don’t really get along with my younger siiiiblings.”
That made sense to me. Then Shifu-senpai raised her hand and pointed at her group.
“Okay, I’ll introduce us.”
●
This is kind of embarrassing, thought Shifu as she spoke.
“Tooru is the Norse war god Thor. Have you heard of him? Y’know, like with Thor’s Hammer.”
The underclassman thought about that and finally clapped his hands together.
“Oh, that thing in LotGH!”
She was not sure what he meant, but as long as it made sense to him. Tooru crossed his arms and nodded.
“I actually know that one. There were novels and an anime too, but I played the PC game at Heisu’s place. I tried attacking it to see how strong it was and got wiped out. Sounds about right for my namesake.”
“Why are you losing to your own weapon?”
“Hey, that game’s tough. Changing direction takes up a turn.”
Boys do love their games, don’t they? she thought while dodging the issue with “calm down”. And next…
“Kuwajiri-chan here is the Norse god of wisdom Kvasir.”
“Eh? Shouldn’t you introduce yourself before me? And I’m not so much a god as-…”
She dodged the issue with a “calm down”.
“In a way, Kuwajiri-chan is the more important one to you, Sumeragi-chan. She is in your year after all.”
“Eh!? Shifu-senpai! I don’t judge people by their appearance, but my brain has a tendency to not even notice flat-chested girls in my field of view! Are you sure I should focus on someone like that!?”
“You…! You…!?”
“Calm down, calm down. He doesn’t run on logic. Humans are just animals that gained intelligence after the fact.”
“I hate that about humans…”
Shifu was glad she was so understanding, but it was stressful for her. Shifu decided to take her to a family restaurant once they were back in the Divine World.
“Anyway, that leaves me. I’m Thor’s wife Sif and I’m also Jarnsaxa for a double divinity.”
●
“…Hm?”
I heard something odd at the end there.
“Hey, Balancer. I don’t dare directly ask someone as busty as Shifu-senpai, so can you explain that for me?”
<I was going to call you an idiot, but this shows you were actually listening. …Yes, the gods are created based on the records we have from the earth age, but for some of those, the same being is split with a different god or the reverse happens. And since our goal is to terraform, it is sometimes best to concentrate authority and roles. So…>
So…
<Creating the gods takes quite a bit of power and control, so to simplify the process, we give a single one the authority and roles of multiple gods whenever possible. That is known as a multi-divinity.>
“I was originally just Sif, but since Jarnsaxa hadn’t manifested yet, I put in a request, right? Now, being a multi-divinity makes it harder to increase my divine rank, but it gave me Thor all to myself, so I was totally doing it.”
“Wow, didn’t expect that to get so sweet all of a sudden!”
Only after saying it did I notice Senpai blushing next to me. And when she glanced over at me…
“Um, I…tend to chicken out of doing things, so I don’t think that will ever happen with me.”
“No, don’t chicken out! Just go for it! Go for whatever it is you want! I’m weak to assertive girls! And my defense drops by 120% when she has big boobs!”
I did another lying-on-the-back prostration to beg her.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!”
<Um, everyone? He has been acting like this for a while, so please just continue the conversation.>
“Whoa, hold on, Balancer. You believe in me enough to think I can pay attention while doing this!? I misjudged you… You’re a good talking screen!”
<I was saying you don’t matter and they should ignore you!>
●
“Okay,” I said.
“Can we leave the terraforming to all of you while we go over there and have some tea?”
“Sumeragi-chan, where does that confidence come from?”
“Hmm,” groaned Raidou-senpai with his arms crossed. After a moment, he tilted his head.
“You’re working here without making any progress on the foundational stuff, aren’t you?”
He asked that of Senpai and she immediately nodded.
“I need to increase my divine rank if I’m going to accomplish much of anything on my own, so I’m working on expanding the ground to earn experience points.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Your partner’s divine rank is too low to manage the foundational work that really should be done first. Not that we can manage that either.”
“…? What? But the terraforming has already started, hasn’t it?”
“That’s true,” said Raidou-senpai, which caused Senpai’s shoulders to fall a bit.
I didn’t get it.
The terraforming had started and she was creating land. We had discussed the rain and whatnot earlier. In that case…
“So what’s this foundational work?”
“Hm, how about we show you a bad example?”
“A bad example?”
“Hey, Yomoji, come over here.”
“Whaaaat do you neeeeed?”
The One True God casually walked over.
And Shifu-senpai led us over to the edge of the land.
“Yomoji-chan, can you show us what you can do real quick?”
“Surrrre thing.”
Yomoji-senpai turned toward the lava and then bent his hips to the side to form a Y pose.
“♪Absurrrrrrrrd♪”
With a singsong voice, a world appeared there.
●
“Eh?”
It was a world. A world was created as if rushing out from right in front of us.
I saw a field, a forest, a mountain, a river, some more rivers, and an entire mountain range towering up beyond that. There was even an ocean in the distance and a blue sky rose up.
…Wait, wait, wait.
The weird thing was how the ground below us did not change. But what you could only call “nature” appeared all around us.
“Mmmm! Thaaat should do it. Or do you want the rest filled in?”
“You idiot. This is way too much!”
The war god slapped the One True God on the back of his bald head.
●
It made a nice sound and the bald guy jumped. Shifu-senpai cackled at the sound and movement.
“Huhhh? This iiiiisn’t what you wanted?”
“No one told you to create a world.”
“Now, now,” said Kuwajiri while waving her hands side to side.
“I expected something like this since we asked for a bad example, but this is more than I expected. You jumped way too close to the end.”
“No, no, no. This isn’t anywhere cloooose to the end. It takes time for it to all settle into plaaace.”
Yomoji relaxed his shoulders and placed a hand on his forehead.
“Even IIIII take 7 dayyyyys to create a world.”
“Yeah, but you spend one of those days resting.”
“Eeeveryone needs to take a break soooometime.”
“Ah ha ha ha ha! Yomoji-chan is great!”
Beyond the laughing busty girl, the world was probably still expanding beyond my view. I could hear that world being created unbelievably quickly, but I also heard something from Senpai next to me.
“U-umm?”
She seemed taken aback, so this must have been an extraordinary achievement.
The other upperclassmen and Kuwajiri formed a scrum and discussed something until Shifu-senpai turned toward us and raised both hands.
“We’re calling for a do-over!”
“I mean, what other option do we have here?”
“Okayyy.”
Yomoji-senpai faced the verdant nature spreading out around us and once more bent his hips in a Y pose.
“♪Absurrrrrrrrd♪”
The created world vanished.
●
“That really is absurd…”
“Yes, yes. My powerrrr is to do the absurd.”
The One True God struck an exasperated pose, so I asked a question.
“What kind of absurdities do you normally do?”
“Hmmmmmm. I did a looooot when I was younger, but not so much now that I’m in high schoooool.”
“Um, then what kind of absurdities did you do when you were younger?”
“Hhhhhhhm. One of my believers was going ooooon and ooooon about how great their faith was, so I tolllllld them to make a baby with that sheep over there.”
“Bestiality!?”
“Ohhh, Yomoji-chan, I hadn’t heard that absurdity story before.”
He apparently had a lot of different stories.
“How was the power of their faith supposed to overcome the DNA problem?”
“Should gods really be talking about DNA?”
“I’m not really-…”
The flat-chested girl started to say something, but then she sighed.
“I am in charge of wisdom, so I have to think about everything that could be a topic of consideration. That includes the gods and every part of the world. That is what I mean.”
“So is bestiality okay in Norse Mythology?”
“Probably!?”
“Not you too, Shifu-senpai!!”
The wisdom girl bared her teeth, but eventually hung her head instead.
“It is… Unfortunately, that is how Sleipnir came to be.”
“So it is, huh?”
Shifu-senpai and I shook hands. Then I chose my words carefully as I asked Senpai a question.
“Is furry stuff okay in Shinto?”
“Eh? A-are you into that?”
“I am!”
I did not hesitate to answer.
“Whether it’s a sin or not will be a major factor when I fantasize about you in a bunny girl costume!”
She fell into silent thought.
●
This underclassman is great, thought Shifu.
“Tooru, would you like it if I dressed up as a bunny girl?”
“I’m 1000% okay with dressing up as one myself as long as it means you’re doing it too.”
“I love that side of you.”
She slapped him on the shoulder. Then Senpai-chan finally answered the underclassman’s question. Her whole face was red and she was clearly sweating.
“In Shinto, it is…o-okay!”
Yes.
“In Shinto, bunny girls are love! They are not a sin!”
Senpai-chan is pretty good too.
●
I see, I thought. I’ve got work to do tonight.
Then I turned toward Balancer.
“Hey, Balancer! What kinda animal do you wanna do some bestiality with!?”
<I am sorry, idiot, but what are you expecting from an AI?>
“Wow, you can’t even come up with a clever response to that and you expect me to trust what you say about the entire world?”
<Listen. Did you notice anything about Yomoji’s terraforming just now?>
I thought back on that absurdity.
It had definitely been absurd. It had ignored all the rules. But…
…Was he rewriting the ether with direct control?
That made sense.
But something felt off. I mean, the whole thing was crazy as hell, but that’s not what I mean.
“You said that wasn’t done, right? Even though it looked pretty complete.”
“No, nooo. That was nowhere nearrrrrrr complete.”
“Right,” I said. Yomoji-senpai had said it would take him 7 days, even though he could create such a complete-looking world in an instant.
In that case…
“Is the issue not the part you can just create like that?”
●
That made her happy as his upperclassman.
…Good job!!
He had caught on. He had been given several hints and she had worked alongside those hints, but it meant a lot that he had found his way to the answer on his own. Because…
…The terraforming is his job, not the gods’ job.
He was in charge and he had figured out what needed to be done. And in this case, that meant…
“The planet!”
He sounded certain.
“The planet’s rotation and maybe even its position and, uh, the stuff in it or whatever.”
“Its composition, you mean.”
“Thank you very much! Um, all of that looks done, but it really isn’t, is it!?”
●
This is what that meant.
“This planet’s size is about the same as earth, but its rotation and composition aren’t so much. However, Senpai doesn’t have enough power to do something about the planet as a whole. So she’s ignoring the rotation and stuff for now and instead repeating what she can do to level up. And once she’s levelled up enough to do the big stuff, she hopes to fix everything up.”
But…
“We can get help from the other gods to sort of outsource the big stuff. Then Senpai and I can do the…land preparation? Fine tuning? Well, whatever you call it, we can do the rest of the terraforming. …Is that it? Well, is it? Say something, Balancer!”
<You should have realized this sooner, you moron.>
“You…! You…!!!!”
●
When I threw a fit, Balancer looked up into the sky and then spoke.
<This is something like a tutorial meant to teach you how to control the game. That is why I have not explained how it officially begins, but this planet is currently nowhere near what you want.>
“Based on how it went with our planet, this is like being handed an unstable planet with the crust somewhat hardened but still a lot of hotspots on the surface.”
What did that mean?
Kuwajiri glanced over at me as I thought about it.
“We are simply given the ‘location’, so we first need to format that location into something usable. It is a lot like being given an uncultivated forest or wasteland when you want some farmland.”
That kind of made sense to me.
“Senpai, do you mind if I ask how many adjustments like that we need done?”
“Eh? Um, well…”
<Okay. Listen up, ape.>
“Do you really think you can address me like that!? Huh!?”
<Shut up and listen. You are generally the one to give your partner instructions. She can give you information and short pieces of advice on her power and how to utilize it, but you are generally not allowed to have a god tell you the quickest route for the terraforming.>
“Generally? So are there exceptions?”
“That’s the strength of outsourcing.”
“Then,” I asked.
“Kuwajiri, what are we missing?”
Kuwajiri looked to Shifu-senpai, who nodded, so she pushed up her glasses.
“What you are missing is simple: everything.”
●
Kuwajiri recalled when they had done this part.
…We went to a lot of unnecessary effort, didn’t we?
The Norse gods were split into factions and they did not get along in the slightest. Most of the factions were not very sociable, but hers was the rare diplomatic group. That was why they were here, but…
“Even if gods like us create the planet with our authority, the planet will have to exist with the ‘insufficient physical laws’ of this world’s ley lines. So unless we constantly supported the planet with divine protections, those ‘insufficient physical laws’ would fail to maintain the planet and it would fall apart. However, we can’t just continue supplying divine protections to support the planet forever. That is not realistic.”
So…
“When creating the planet with our authority, we must adjust the planet’s position, rotation, revolution, and composition so it can exist without our help.”
“In that case,” said the idiot.
“Can’t we just outsource the location, rotation, and revolution stuff to Yomoji-senpai?”
“Ohh, I like the way you think.”
“Hmmmm. But that isssss why I’m herrrrre.”
That was right. Which left…
“Do you know what to do about changing and adding to the planet’s composition?”
“Umm…”
After a while, he clapped his hands together.
“I just saw that! Senpai made some water and panicked! It was really cute!”
Senpai-san blushed and Kuwajiri felt really bad about asking that question.
●
I heard Kuwajiri speak while spreading her mouth horizontally.
“There are several methods. For example, if the planet is short on water, you can alter the ether to create water, but that isn’t very efficient. So do you know what to do instead?”
“Umm, remove the moisture from the lava?”
That was a surprisingly interesting answer. I decided to think more about it later. But this was about efficiency.
“This is only hypothetical, but you could also use a star god to summon the ice out in space and perform a meteor strike with it.”
“You gods don’t mess around, huh!?”
“Every mythology has a lot of dropping ice and fireballs on people.”
Was that really true?
…I need to visit the library and research both terraforming and mythology!
I could see why people called summer break a time for research. Not that I’d ever heard anyone call it that. But taking the untraveled path is what really matters. Oh, but the path of big boobs is pretty well traveled, isn’t it!? And I don’t really want to end up with a more underground interest.
But anyway, I had a few questions.
“Can I ask a few things?”
<I will answer what I can.>
“Would you do it with a rabbit?”
<I will never answer one of your questions again!>
Silly AI. Why are you taking my jokes so seriously?
But now was the time for maturity, so I had to keep an open heart.
“Okay, I’ll forgive you just this once.”
<Did you just enter your own little world?>
“Listen,” I said.
“Okay. Earlier, you told me humanity came to a ‘habitable star system’, right?”
I spread my arms to indicate our surroundings.
“But how is this place habitable? Raidou-senpai said you three terraformed your planet, but that means it wasn’t habitable either, right? What’s up with that?”
●
Shifu heard Balancer thinking with a vocalized “well”.
“Balancer, I’ve known you for a long time, but…how should I put it? You act like an old man sometimes.”
<Call me a thinker! A thinker!>
But that question was one they had had as well. Why had humanity chosen to move somewhere that required not just building the house and not just building the foundation but also creating the land for the house to sit on?
<Not all of it is like this. There were planets that had human habitable environments. However…>
However…
<The conflicts I spoke of before occurred on planets like this one. When the AIs such as myself tried to conquer this planet, the planetary will created by the planet’s primitive spirits made it like this.>
“…Huh?”
That was not much of an explanation, so Shifu helped out.
“The planet itself entered combat mode. It ‘fought back’ when some outsiders showed up and tried to live here and change the environment.”
“You mean…?”
“Yes,” said Shifu before Tooru took over.
“This planet is really pissed off right now. It was the same with ours, but with things the way they are, even if the terraforming did go well, ether stagnations would form pretty easily and you’d have monsters appearing like crazy. You need to suppress all that while you continue.”
<You can think of it like a landlord destroying and casting a curse on the property because they do not like the tenants. That is why human-led terraforming generally will not work.>
“…That’s crazy…”
That response was understandable. And…
“Well, there are some other factors too. You can’t make any progress unless you find some kind of compromise there. So for now, you can look at it as the planet being your enemy.”
●
“I see,” I said to the words of my elder. However…
“So are you saying Balancer took things too far?”
<When the planetary environment rapidly worsened, we initially thought it was due to the planet’s motion. We thought it was a natural phenomenon. But after we proved the existence of divine protections, we developed a new view of the matter. …Since the planet does not yet have any gods of its own, the combination of its phases creates something like a planetary will which is desperately fighting back.>
“You could call it an active Gaia theory.”
This sounded like a pain, but I did kind of get something now.
…That’s what that was.
I had a vague memory of it.
“I remember there being a dragon in this lava area.”
“—————”
Senpai gasped. What did that mean?
“You remember that, Sumeragi-kun?”
“Eh? Well, sort of. Although I thought it was how I died in the previous game. …Y’know, the time I died and was booted from the game that you all knew about.”
A question occurred to me while I was talking.
…Huh?
I was pretty alive for someone who had died, so what was that “death”? And what was the “previous game” for that matter?
“Am I mistaken about something?”
“No, you are not. It’s just…”
For once, she looked straight at me as she spoke.
“It’s actually a good thing that you remember. Now, you have another question, don’t you?”
I felt like she was dodging the issue, but it was true this only meant that I remembered it.
I tilted my head, wondering what that had been, but I also asked one of the other questions I had.
“If we let Yomoji-senpai do the terraforming, wouldn’t it all be done in a week? If outsourcing is okay, why not just do that?”
●
“That’s right,” replied Raidou.
Balancer tilted in a nod, so this was apparently okay to say.
“The thing is, Sumeragi. It’s about politics.”
“Politics?”
“Yup. You know humanity moved to this star system, right?”
“Yes, that I understand.”
Raidou nodded and looked to Shifu. She had her usual expression, meaning she was leaving this with him. So he took a breath and kept going.
“Humanity made a plan when they abandoned earth and moved here. A plan requires supporters and a leader. And in the end, well, all the countries supported the plan. But you know what?”
This was the important part.
“Humanity was not united even when they abandoned earth and moved here.”
<But that is also why we were capable of detecting divine protections from the single region known as Shinto.>
That was right. But there was a more troublesome side to this.
“There was one condition everyone agreed to when all of mankind abandoned earth.”
“What was that?”
“How to split up the star system.”
●
What did it mean that humanity was not united?
…They wouldn’t be united after the move either.
So they had made a plan before leaving.
“The countries that existed on earth were allotted different parts of this star system. They already had some idea of the planetary environments and topographies based on long-distance observations and AI estimations, so they knew the total land area. It was that assurance that convinced everyone to approve the plan.”
Why?
“On earth, there was conflict between different religions and nations, so they couldn’t come together. But this star system is much larger than earth. So even if they can’t come together, they figured they could live in peace without all that conflict. They were all promised much more territory than before.”
“…”
“Um, wait just a second.”
He’s pretty sharp, thought Raidou. Did he actually catch on?
Yes. It looked like the world’s countries were being invited to a peaceful land, but there was one exception to that.
“Well? Did you notice something?”
His junior in the church of large breasts nodded.
“Yes. The world’s countries were allotted land on this star system’s planets, right? At the time, the planets were still untouched and the different continents or whatever were promised to different countries.”
Sumeragi continued with a “but”.
“What happens to those promises now that the planets are pissed and they need to be terraformed?”
And…
“It’s the gods who are doing the terraforming. And the gods are from the mythologies of different countries and regions. If the land terraformed by a god becomes that god’s divine territory and that mythology now owns that land, then countries with weak gods will lose their land and countries with powerful gods will be able to take over everything! The original promise goes out the window!”
●
Shifu heard Raidou respond.
“That’s where the politics come in.”
He told the underclassman boy to listen.
“The land we’ve already acquired on another planet is far larger than what earth’s Norse region was promised. So to make up for that, we’re here to help you. To be clear, we have other reasons too, but we don’t need to take over your land. We already have enough, so expanding your territory is fine with us.”
“The other gods – such as the Greek ones – told us to come here and help you. Which really means they want us to wear ourselves down to maintain the power balance.”
“Wow, what a pain.”
“Yeah, but we don’t mind helping out. Then again…”
There was a problem here.
“If we help out too much, we’ll ‘take over’ this land whether we want to or not. The land’s phase will become that of our own divine territory.”
“Each god’s power creates their own unique phase, you see.”
“Ohh… So it’s like having a craftsman make something instead of making a mass-produced version. They’ll leave their mark on the final product.”
“Yes. So borrowing too much of their power will transform the land’s phase into that of the worker god’s divine territory. And purifying that away is very difficult. That is why getting help with anything on a large scale should be avoided whenever possible.”
That was exactly right. And that also answered Sumeragi’s question.
“This planet’s land was mostly promised to the Shinto gods, but if we help out too much, it’ll become Norse and One True God land.”
“Yeah, that sounds bad. Senpai and I don’t want our love nest to belong to a bald guy and a buff dude.”
“Ah ha ha. Well said. But with you two, it would be a good idea to let Yomoji-chan adjust the planet’s rotation and position.”
She really did think that.
“Get too far behind on that and the other gods might show up and ‘lend a helping hand’. Now, I’m not saying we’re on the side of justice or anything, but we’re like lenders who don’t feel the need to put you in too much debt. So I recommend keeping that in mind while you work with us.”
“Shifu-senpai, trying to make yourself look bad isn’t going to work. Not for you, anyway.”
But I’ve always wanted to be a bad girl. But anyway.
She could not say it here, but this was not going to be easy for those two.
“The introduction of the first human. …It isn’t going as well as with the other gods like us, but the more prideful of the others are sure to want Sumeragi-chan’s ‘worship’ pretty badly.”
“It really is a pain. The gods are fighting over territory for the humans to eventually live on. It’s like we’re fighting a proxy war for humanity.”
Yeah, it’s all a lot of trouble, but that’s politics for you.
Interlude[edit]
“Everyone’s getting weirdly excited, but it worries me that none of them has even mentioned their summer homework.”
Chapter 10: Crackdown[edit]
A casual reset
“Ugh, that was a really dense tutorial…”
I said that while still inside the game, by which I mean reality.
We were inside the stone hut on the rocky land.
Raidou-senpai and the others had been explaining this world and how human politics affected the terraforming.
“Well, we don’t want to give you too much to learn right away, so let’s call it a day!”
We were dismissed, so I really wanted to get right back to the Divine World, run to a 90s bookstore, grab the owner by the collar, and shout,
“Excuse me! Do you have any bunny girl photo albums that minors can buy!? A god said animal stuff is A-OK!”
But I stopped myself when Senpai spoke to me.
“How about we take a break before heading back? We can discuss our future plans.”
“Yesssssssssssssssssssssss! Let’s do that!”
<Why do you pour so much energy into every little thing?>
“Huh? I don’t pour much energy into dealing with you. Did you really think you were worth it?”
<H-how dare you say that to the most important being here…>
I had a feeling you weren’t actually the most important if you had to say so yourself, but then I turned toward the…kitchen? Whatever you called it, Senpai was standing there with her back turned and it was unbelievably…how should I put it? Yes, it was unbelievably…
“Hot…”
“Eh?”
I slapped myself for the first time in a while. No, that wasn’t the point. Senpai was undoubtedly hot and her big boobs definitely directed my thoughts in that direction, but this was about something else.
…It’s about the gap!
The gap created by something like this existing in reality. That was what made something hot or sexual, and what made something frightening or joyful as well. There was a gap between what you were seeing and what you thought could be real, so it felt like a miracle in and of itself.
That was what made it so unique and valuable. It was beautiful.
And I did not want to impose a category on that quality, so whether you would call it hot or not, I only wanted to say one thing in this case.
“You look really, well, nice.”
“U-umm…”
<With him, there is a high probability he simply means ‘hot’.>
“You’ve got it all wrong, you idiot!”
When Balancer and I argued, she laughed.
I looked over again and saw her at work.
She was making some tea.
●
“Thank you for putting up with everything today. I will make you some tea.”
“Oh, thank you very much! Thank you so much! I’ve never had a girl make me tea before, so can I record a video!?”
“Eh?”
I slapped my own face. And…
“Balancer, how do I record video with my Revelation Board?”
<N-nothing deters you, does it!?>
Anyway, I had them teach me how to use the various functions and access the help menu. Hm, I see. I just had to use voice commands for most of it.
“Oh, neat. It can record things on my 90s TV. I think this Revelation Board might be more useful than you, Balancer.”
<We were designed for different things!>
“———————”
I heard some quiet laughter from Senpai.
But this was my first time seeing a god make tea.
She hummed a light melody as she worked.
“♪——————”
There was a stone structure much like a sink. It looked highly polished, but then she opened the front and pulled out some cups and a kettle.
…Eh?
The sink was stone. It looked polished, but when she casually opened the front, I saw all the proper innards of a sink.
Even though it was all stone.
…Hmm?
A sink was normally made of wood or plastic with a stainless steel frame or some other waterproof material. But every bit of this was stone.
When you saw a gravestone at the stone dealer, you might think its smooth surface was pretty, but the storage box and the thinness of the “panels” here were something else entirely.
Humans could not make this. Even trying it would require a lot of fancy techniques and machines, yet here it was. And…
“———————”
I had thought the stone hut was simply made of exposed rock, but I realized that was not quite accurate.
●
I stood up and took a look around.
The walls were monochrome, but it was like they had wallpaper on them. What I had noticed was a “difference” in the walls.
It had looked like the inner walls were shallowly carved down in places, but…
“This is a floral relief.”
<Oh, you finally noticed?>
No matter how long it took me to notice, this was impressive.
The stone hut was a lot like a small apartment, but a floral relief had been added to the kitchen area’s walls.
And when I looked at the floor, I noticed a pattern there as well.
“Is that supposed to be wood flooring?”
<It does feel like she took it too far, doesn’t it?>
I asked about something that was bothering me.
“The far wall juts out a bit in that room, so is there a closet behind it?”
<Yes, there is a closet.>
“…”
“I was thinking maybe the front of the closet was cut out of the rock…but it looks a lot like a sliding screen, doesn’t it?”
<Yes, that is a sliding screen.>
“Does it open? Isn’t it heavy?”
<…>
<…The inside is actually hollow, so it opens quite easily if you move it.>
“What do you mean?”
I kept my voice low so Senpai could not hear me while working in the kitchen.
She was waiting for the water to boil while the kettle sat on a plate of hot stone which appeared to act as a stovetop.
This was probably her divine territory. Her water control seemed to be working well because it felt like the humidity had risen.
Then Balancer asked me a question.
<Do you know why she suggested making tea?>
Since this was about Senpai, I took it seriously.
…She was able to make water outside earlier…
“Because she made water?”
<…>
<Not quite, but I will let it slide this time. Still, you need to listen carefully when she speaks.>
I heard footsteps while wondering what Balancer meant.
“It’s a little dark, so I will use an illumination Auth Spell.”
“Auth Spell?”
She nodded at my question. She was carrying the pot on a tray that looked awfully light for being made of stone.
“That is what we call a systemized version of a god’s authority. When both gods and humans can use it, it’s just known as a spell.”
“Um, so it’s basically a god-exclusive spell?”
“They are more pure than the ones humans use. Because it comes directly from the god.”
Meaning…
“Gods can directly control ether, but there is a bit of trick to getting it started. That’s why the more universal ones have been systemized into something we call Authority Spells, or Auth Spells for short.”
“I was going to ask why you wouldn’t just call them God Spells or something, but I guess it would be weird for gods to specify that their own spells are for gods.”
“Just as the spells used by witches are called magic instead of Witch Spells, gods use Auth Spells instead of God Spells. And in Shinto, the gods have close enough connections to borrow and use another god’s authority. We call that using a substitution and it’s honestly really common. Or so I hear.”
“So you hear?”
Even as I spoke, I realized what she must have meant.
“Have not that many Shinto gods joined the game yet?”
●
<Top priority for this planet is for you to terraform it. So other than the god you chose, the only ones with permission to be here are the bare minimum needed to keep things going. The rest have not manifested yet.>
“I was asking Senpai, not you, so why are you answering? Do I need to hit you with a white noise attack!? Ksssssshhhhhhhhhhh!”
<Wow, this idiot really pisses me off!>
But anyway.
In that case, would the gods with authorities we needed manifest(?) when we needed them?
However…
“Then why bother outsourcing to gods from other mythologies?”
I asked that just as Senpai placed a cup in front of me and another next to me. Then she sat next to me, which really excited me.
“Senpai! I am not worthy of sitting next to you! But more! I want more! Wait, is this your way of saying you want to marry me!? I’ve already done that 27 times in my head!”
“Eh?”
I slapped myself. Oh, no. I really couldn’t lie in the presence of a god. How was I supposed to navigate the delicate waters of love like this? Although if I had control, I’d chicken out of doing anything at all! Senpai is so great!
Another thought came to me as I looked at her.
…Her boobs are resting on the table…
Had I seen this before? I felt like I had. But this was from the side. I rested the side of my head on the table without thinking and I could only marvel at how their shape was transformed by their own weight. Fantastic.
“Um, Sumeragi-kun?”
“Oh! Yesh! Sorry! I got a little too focused!”
But while observing Senpai’s great “power”, I realized something else.
…A small job.
So that was it.
“The other gods are as powerless as you are, aren’t they? So while you can borrow their power for small jobs like making tea, they don’t have enough power for a job as big as the terraforming.”
I took a sip of the tea. And…
“Uhyohhhh! Damn, this is good! What the hell!? How can plain black tea be this good!?”
●
“Senpai! Did you put anything in this!?”
“Eh? Eh? No, I didn’t.”
“Th-th-th-th-then did you use special tea leaves!?”
“No, it was just a normal teabag I brought from the Divine World.”
“Senpai’s titbags!? No! Sorry! I felt I had to make that joke and said it way too loudly, but I didn’t mean anything by it! I just really like the tea is all! Anyway, um…hey, inferior screen. How can she bring stuff here from the 90s? I didn’t think it worked like that.”
<When a god travels from the Divine World to reality, they can store a bare minimum of clothing and other items in their personal divine territory and bring those items out while inside their divine territory.>
Um, what did that mean?
“Can you explain it using boobs?”
“U-um…no.”
“Yeah, didn’t think so! Okay, Balancer, you do it.”
<You know I can’t, don’t you!?>
I wasn’t really expecting them to do it. But to sum up…
“Is it something like a tunnel? Your divine territory is the area ruled by a god or their mythology and you can bring Divine World stuff there. But can you not do that while outside your divine territory?”
“In my case, this stone hut is my divine territory.”
<To be clear, what you call the new style uniform is designed to establish a god’s personal divine territory. As long as they are wearing it, their divine territory is established around them. Of course, that changes when they are hiding their true form.>
“What does that mean?”
“L-like how I’m hiding my name.”
I decided not to ask further about that.
But I did kind of understand this now.
“This tea tastes so good because the teabag was inside Senpai’s coat or skirt pocket when she brought it here. That means it was permeated by the heat of her boobs or thigh.”
●
I sniffed it.
“Ahhhh! Senpai’s fragrance! This spot right here contains the body heat of that fetishistic area on the side of her pelvis! It just has to!”
And there was more to it than that.
“When she created that water, she hand-massaged it from the air, so it’s Senpai Water! I was going to call it Senpai Juice or Senpai Fluid, but no, it has to be Senpai Water! Ahh, I could drink your water forever! It’s so good! I’d like a refill!”
“Oh, yes, here.”
I drank it. It was good. I calmed down. I could think clearly. And…
“Did I just say anything weird?”
“Well, I think it was all meant as a compliment.”
Wow, was she a goddess or something? Oh, right, she was. That made sense. Yes. Perfect sense. She seemed a little bothered by it all, but really, who could blame her?
Anyway, I took a breath and looked around the stone hut.
“This is such a relaxing place. Is it because you made it?”
“Is it?”
Yes, what was it about the place? She had put more effort into the walls than I had thought. It was like she had worked hard designing it, or…oh, I know. Yeah, that has to be it.
…She must have been happy she had the power to do all this.
It was based on Western-style rooms, but it all felt handmade.
She had made this after deciding to get to work on the terraforming.
“It’s relaxing because it feels like you’re protecting me here.”
●
I heard a sigh from Senpai where she was seated next to me.
“Um…”
“Yes?”
“Well,” she said.
“At first, we really were powerless. Yomoji-san and Shifu-san’s group were a little higher ranked as gods and I was originally, um…”
“You said you were a god that only has their name mentioned once, right?”
“Oh, yes. …I’m just on the level of an Earthly God.”
“Umm.”
Oh, no. I wasn’t sure what an Earthly God was. Did it mean she was made of earth? That is, dirt?
…So she’s a dirty girl! Is that it!?
That aside, there was something I had to say.
“I’ll study up on all that, so you don’t have to explain every little thing to me.”
“Sorry. Just think of me as only barely qualifying as a god.”
So…
“At first, I existed as a god, but I couldn’t give others my authority.”
“What happened then?”
<Her divine power had no power over the outside world, so she had to use direct control for everything. Worshiping her provided nothing in return, so she was a god in name only. Also, her power could only affect the area she was directly manipulating.>
What did that mean?
“You could only make land out of the area of lava you were directly touching… So you had to do that over and over to earn experience points.”
Then what would happen?
“So to safely and stably earn those experience points, you built this stone hut, right?”
●
I saw Senpai give a small nod.
“My divine rank went up after I made the roof. I still didn’t have my own land, but I could actually have worshipers.”
<That is the same as a jizou or mini-shrine. Her divine territory did not cover a region of land, but she could provide divine protections to those who prayed to her. That is the level she had reached.>
“But,” said Senpai with a bitter smile.
“I still couldn’t call you here, Sumeragi-kun. You chose me as your partner, but I couldn’t call you here. Because…”
“Even though you could protect me when I prayed to you, I’d croak the instant I arrived in these extreme conditions, right? I mean, there’s no oxygen and the temperature is super high. I’d die before I could do any praying.”
“Yes. So I continued making this place until my rank went up again. Then I finally gained a divine territory, even if it is small.”
I knew just how small it was.
…The same area as this stone hut.
This was the same as the mini-shrines found inside a large estate.
The god enshrined there would protect the home. That was essentially what she had become.
“So then I could call you here and I did so…but then some other stuff happened…”
She smiled.
“I was wondering what you would think when you saw this place. I was afraid you would think it was ugly. I wanted to make it cuter, but I didn’t know how with stone. I kept working at it with that in mind and I was nervous about inviting you inside. So…”
So…
“I was really happy when you complimented me for it.”
Because…
“You could tell how hard I worked on it.”
She cried.
●
<You made her cry!!>
“Shut up, idiot! Um, well, uhhh!”
This was too much of a surprise. I had made her cry before too, but I was beginning to think she had been putting up with too much stress all on her own.
Did this make her a crybaby goddess? Oh, but these were happy tears. And in her case, this was a reaction to just how much she had worked on and worried over this.
…Meanwhile, I’m the stress-free type.
If I only I could share this lack of stress with her. But…
“Senpai, um, you might have noticed, but…”
“…Yes?”
She wiped away her tears as she asked that, so I spoke my mind.
“You have and do everything I like or think is nice, so I think you’re going to be crying a lot from now on.”
“…”
She thought about that for a bit, and…
“Okay.”
She finally responded.
“Then you’d better do your best to make me cry a lot more.”
●
I started to promise I would “do my breast”, but I managed to stop myself.
●
Once Senpai stopped crying and smiled at me, I had her serve me a third cup of tea. We decided to return to the 90s in the Divine World once I finished drinking it.
“How in the world does that work?”
<There is not a compressed space created inside a server somewhere, if that is what you are thinking. It is a phase space created on the planet itself. The 90s has been recreated there as data.>
“Couldn’t we use that as the real world?”
<It only exists in an alternate phase. Although I am confident in its density. …Now, until next time. Please call for me if you need me in the Divine World too.>
●
“They should be back before long.”
Shifu heard Raidou’s comment.
They were on an artificial hill west of the school building. It gave them a view of Tachikawa to the east. There was a convenience store on top and the two of them sat on a bench in front of it.
They were on the way back from the bath. Their home and the bathhouse were on opposite sides of the hill.
So on the way back, they had stopped to view the nightscape of Tachikawa and the silent school building.
“This soda is so good!”
“It’s all been so sweet lately, which just felt wrong with the ginger ale, but there are more less sweet options now!”
“So what should we do now? Stop by the supermarket to stock up on meat and then get some sleep?”
“No, let’s visit the arcade. Kido’s hangers-on should be there, so we can tell them what happened today. Also, TJ beat my high score, so I need to get a new one.”
“Hmm, we’ve got a lot to do.”
“A lot different from our old home.”
Once he said that, someone arrived from the direction of the school building.
“Huh? Omokane?”
“Oh, you two. Perfect timing. We’ve had a bit of an emergency, so I’m out looking for witnesses. While I’m at it, I’d like to hear your alibis.”
“Huh?” said Shifu while showing her their discount card from the bathhouse.
“So what happened?”
Omokane took a breath before answering. A Revelation Board automatically appeared by her hands to display Scarecrow. After exchanging a few quick messages, she explained.
“Sumeragi-kouhai was hit and killed by a dump truck on the road down there.”
●
“Again!?”
Shifu responded without thinking, so she stopped herself from saying more. Omokane quietly nodded.
“He was just starting to become more aware of his situation, so as the current Shinto representative, I wish to investigate what happened and who the culprit is. However…”
“How’s Sumeragi?”
“Based on a witness account – well, someone who heard it – he shouted ‘visiting the bathhouse with Senpaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!’ and then there was a loud crash.”
“…”
“So this was more Sumeragi-chan giving the dump truck driver a really bad day?”
“That’s the thing. There was no one in the dump truck.”
Ohh. Shifu gave a deep nod. This sounds like a pain. But…
“I can already tell Kuwajiri is going to be really mad and go running to Kunugi’s place. Actually, can he even be restarted right away?”
<Excuse me for interrupting, but if he is not, I believe it is ‘Senpai’-san who will be really mad.>
“Oh, Balancer’s scared. They usually don’t use honorifics with us gods.”
“Well, she is the most powerful god. Heh heh. I would prefer if you all did not cause us too much trouble.”
“Hey, don’t blame us for this one.”
Shifu’s partner sighed and looked up into the sky.
That was earth’s sky. It was not the same as the real sky outside. Nevertheless, that was the night sky he viewed as he continued.
“Humans die so easily…”
“Yeah. We knew that going in, but it’s hard to get used to.”
But anyway.
“I wonder what Sumeragi-chan will be like next time.”
●
…Okay, apparently I died. Or I’m dying, I guess.
What a weird feeling. And come to think of it, I’d died before too.
And that time it had happened in reality.
…But reality wasn’t a game after all!
Then unless that had all been a dream, I had actually died down there. Oh, if I say I died “down there”, the quotes make it sound dirty!
My mind was fading. Farewell, reality. Or so I thought, but then I heard some footsteps.
Oh, and I could see the night sky in my fading vision. I knew where this was. It was that road on the school campus. Was Senpai running over? If so…oh, that’s right! Yes, I’ll be able to see her underwear! Nice! That’s definitely how I want to die! But…
“Ehhhhhh!? Wait, wait! What is going on!? Balancer! Get out here right this instant, Balancer! Explain this! Explain this now!! This was not part of the plan!”
The plan? What plan?
“Sumeragi-kun!”
She called out to me.
“Please don’t forget me!”
Okay. I’ll try.
Chapter 11: Junction 01[edit]
Yes
Not even gods are all powerful
It was early in the morning, but tension already filled the McDonald’s near Tachikawa Station.
The Divine World was neutral ground for the gods to live in. The academy city was used for social interaction and research, so the nearby Tachikawa Station area differed from the actual ‘90s in a few ways.
This fast food restaurant was a sanctuary for some of the gods.
After all, a lot of gods were kept away by the type of meat in the patties or the seasoning and other additives used. Even with 100% beef patties, the seasoning could include alcohol and the oil or soup ingredients could be made with pork.
That meant only some of the gods could freely eat there.
“The mythologies focused on nature gods have it easy since there aren’t many dietary restrictions. …And by adding a sound-blocking barrier, we can have a meeting in peace.”
“Are you ever going to explain what happened!?”
Sumeragi had died.
But when it came to that…
“I have a feeling you would know more about that than us. So do you?”
“Yeah, yeah. What happened with Sumeragi-chan after you got back from the game last night?”
“Umm, last night?”
●
The night before, they had returned from the game…that is, from the terraforming of reality.
“Okay, before we got back, Sumeragi-kun said this.”
“It’s dinnertime once we’re done with the game! Right, Senpai!?”
“Yeah, yeah. And then what?”
“I asked him what he was going to do for dinner.”
“Yes, nice one! Going on the attack without looking like it! You’re good at this!”
“I didn’t mean it like that!”
“Then how did you mean it?”
“Well, um, uhhh, um, I wasn’t trying to make any kind of a move! That’s what I meant.”
“If anyone was going to make a move, it would Sumeragi. So what’d he say?”
“Raidou-san, why are you so comfortable joining this girly gossip!?”
“Tooru’s always with me. Some girls are bothered having him around, but they usually accept it when I tell them to think of him as a decoration.”
“And you’re okay with that…?”
“Hey, during the Earth Age, people apparently built tons of statues of me as far back as BCE times.”
“I would love to hear more from someone so close to the roots of the European rules, but right now I would rather hear how this girl went on the attack. Who is with me?”
“Omokane-san, stop pressing me for answers!”
“I’m going to order some apple pie and other snacks, so I hope you’re ready to talk when I get back.”
●
She had to try again after they got sidetracked, but this was how the conversation had gone.
“What are you doing for dinner, Sumeragi-kun?”
“Oh, yesh! I’m going to eat a convenience store katsudon while remembering all the mental photos I took of you! Then I’ll take a bath and go to bed!”
“Eh?”
He then slapped himself.
●
“Does that mean you actually hear all of the weird thing he says, Senpai-chan?”
“No, he’s usually talking too fast for me to make it out, but sometimes I do. Although I still don’t really know what it means most of the time…”
“I imagine he usually means exactly what he says.”
“But what about the mental photographs he mentioned? That’s not something people do. It’s not something they can do.”
“…”
“What’s wrong, Saku?”
“Well, I’m just feeling a little sorry for Sumeragi-chan.”
“Wh-why!?”
●
“So are we dealing with a dense heroine here?”
“I think Sumeragi-chan’s advances are just too unique for her to pick up on them.”
“Why is he like that, anyway?”
“Kido-chan and Kunugi-chan play a role too, but Kuwajiri does the final check, right?”
“Well, I don’t think either of them mean any harm, so it should be fine.”
“As long as he hasn’t been castrated.”
“I’d be afraid in a different way if he was that wild after castration.”
“H-hey! Stop talking to each other after asking me what happened!”
●
At any rate, she decided to continue the story.
She did not like the idea of convenience store meals, but instead of outright rejecting it…
“Do you always get food at the convenience store?”
“Eh!? Oh, um, no! I normally, uh, I normally get leftover bread at the dining hall with hot water to drink!”
That was even worse.
Who was she supposed to complain to about that? Omokane? No, she felt like the Norse gods like Shifu and Raidou were in charge of his lifestyle guidance right now. She decided to discuss it with them the following day.
“Would you like to have a quick planning meeting at a family restaurant tonight?”
“Eh!? A planning meeting at night!? Woohoo! A midnight operation! It’s like an operation on my heart! Kerpow! …Oh, sorry! I just wanted to say that! I got weirdly excited and my imagination is headed into orbit lickety-split!”
What language was he speaking?
“I feel like about 80% of what he says is wasted space.”
Shifu-san, please don’t intrude on the flashback scene. But anyway…
“I use a public bath, so how about we grab some dinner before that?”
“Eh!? A public bath!?”
“Yes, a lot of the other gods do too, so we can share information there.”
“Then I’ll do that too!”
“The men’s bath has a lot of powerful war gods and such, so be careful, okay?”
“Not to worry! I won’t even notice any guys are there! I’ll be worshiping you from the other side of the wall, so just watch your level go up.”
The incredible part was how a Revelation Board opened to report she had indeed levelled up as he said that.
Since she was his upperclassman, she decided to treat him to dinner.
“So Sumeragi’s a freeloader, huh!?”
“I was repaying him for his worship!”
“To be honest, I’m pretty sure he’d be so happy he died from just 30 seconds shaking your hand.”
“No, no, no, no! I’m not worth that much worship!”
“You did have a few shrines dedicated to you during the Earth Era, so cut the humility.”
“That was mostly as a part of my family…”
“Are you willing to tell us what god she is yet?”
“…”
“It might be best for Sumeragi-kun if we did tell you. Let’s see if there is a good opportunity later.”
“Are you sure?”
“This meeting alone is enough to know they aren’t our enemy and that we rely on each other. At the very least, we Shinto gods can work with these Norse representatives. So we can always reveal our joker as a show of force.”
“Ohh. Senpai-chan must be someone important.”
“I’m not sure what she means because I’m about as lowly a god as you can get…”
Anyway, back to what he had said.
“Ah! I don’t have a bath set! I’ll go buy one at the convenience store after logging out! Wait for me, okay!?”
That was all.
A while later, Omokane had contacted her to say he had died in an accident.
“And? What did you do, Senpai-chan?”
“By the time I arrived at the accident site, it had been cleaned up and they were moving to the next stage. I didn’t like what I heard, so I met up with Kubiko-san at the family restaurant.”
“…”
“As you can probably guess from that, she is not a war god.”
“Eh?”
“Yeah, if a war god didn’t like what she heard, she’d decided it was time to kick some ass.”
“In that sense, I can kind of tell why Balancer allowed us to help.”
“Generally, I prefer to resolve things with words. Shinto gods are meant to defend their local territory. We don’t like actively seeking conflict with those outside our territory.”
She agreed with that.
“Anyway, here’s what I did after that.”
●
When Kubiko arrived at the family restaurant that night, she had a black-uniformed girl with her.
Senpai recognized her.
“Tenma-san.”
“Oh, yes! So you remember me!”
She was unsure what to say to that. Tenma was sort of an elite. She was on the rise. Senpai was a half-forgotten god at the lower end of things while Tenma had much more potential for the future.
“Tenma-san is a fan of yours. Or rather, she is a fan of the different authorities held by the gods. Yours is quite unique, so she kind of worships you. Well, it’s more like the fetishism of rare things you tend to find in trivia nerds.”
“Th-that’s not a very nice thing to say!”
“Calm down,” said Kubiko while having the girl sit next to her.
Tenma was small. She was probably even shorter than Kuwajiri. But…
“Tenma-san has the most authority as a war god of any of the Shinto gods that have manifested so far.”
That meant she was a bodyguard. Which in turn meant…
“…Can we discuss this here?”
“This restaurant uses a mixture of pork and beef for its hamburger steak and its soy sauce is made with alcohol, so most gods with dietary restrictions can’t come here. And it also doesn’t serve much seafood, so those from the Mediterranean coast can’t use its food as an offering. Shinto’s lack of rules is nice, isn’t it?”
“Um, can I order something?”
“Go ahead. Oh, and I’m having Grilled Assortment Meal C with five grain rice soup.”
“That’s a pretty big meal.”
“I can’t keep going if I don’t eat!”
“Th-then I will have the Three Fried Foods Meal C with a matcha eclair.”
“I think I will have the Japanese-style tuna bowl, or would that be too light?”
“I hear this is the season for gyoza.”
“But I was planning to have a meeting in the library with Omokane-san and the others after this.”
“They serve sake.”
“Hmmm. I am an agricultural god, but it isn’t limited to rice.”
“So wheat is fine? Then I hear this is the season for beer to go with your gyoza.”
“That does sound perfect for this discussion, so I will add a large serving of edamame and share them.”
They let Tenma do the ordering while they began the discussion.
●
She had one main question.
“How did Sumeragi-kun end up in an accident?”
“According to a traveler god that witnessed it, he ran out into traffic.”
“Ran out into traffic?”
“Yes, he got all excited shouting ‘visiting the bathhouse with Senpaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!’, ran out into traffic, and got hit by a dump truck.”
“…”
“Cause of Death: Senpai-chan?”
“Sh-Shifu-san, you weren’t here for this! So stay out of the flashback!”
But she was unsure what to say.
“Is going to a public bathhouse really that exciting?”
“For a human, it probably is. The Roman gods say public baths are the height of leisure, so they apparently built giant temple bathhouses where they could slurp up the worshiper broth made from the bathwater.”
“They sure love taking things to the extreme…”
“Yes, but due to the limited medical knowledge at the time, the large bathhouses doubled as medical facilities that unintentionally helped prevent the spread of infectious disease.”
“Bathing is certainly important.”
“Yes, but they rarely replaced the water and they were pretty open sexually, so the bathhouses also helped the spread of parasites. Check the digestive systems of the ancient Romans and you can apparently find parasites that haven’t changed much at all since ancient times.”
“T-TMI!”
“Heh heh heh. Those cocky gods from other mythologies should have realized they would only have their wisdom mocked if they focused on manifesting just the gods of wisdom to prevent that kind of thing. Because you can never underestimate the level of fetishism and nerdiness in the Shinto gods.”
“Umm…”
“Oh, I got sidetracked, didn’t I? Anyway, I think it’s safe to accept that Sumeragi-kun was excited.”
“Really?”
“We’re talking about a teenage boy who had never really talked with a girl before. When a busty beauty moves in next door and suggests they eat dinner and visit a public bath together, he’s liable to ask the convenience store clerk if they have any engagement rings for sale.”
“Umm…”
“Anyway, Sumeragi-kun was excited and he ran out into traffic. …So what happened then? That’s your real question, isn’t it?”
●
Yes. What she wanted to know was found there.
“Sumeragi-kun was hit by a dump truck. A 4-ton one.”
“You mean…?”
“Yes. That does not seem too unusual on its own. More gods are being manifested lately, so more spirits and support gods from the different mythologies are manifesting and more of the automatons prepared by Balancer are being manufactured. A lot of construction is underway from Tachikawa to Akishima and Tokorozawa. It was one of the trucks being used at one of the construction sites.”
However…
“The construction company that owns the dump truck is Olympus Enterprises. It was a furnace type.”
●
A short silence fell. It was broken by Tenma placing their order with the automaton waitress who walked up.
“We would like a Grilled Assortment Meal C with five grain rice soup, a Three Fried Foods Meal C with a matcha eclair, and…a Japanese-style tuna bowl with an order of gyoza, a medium draught beer, and a large order of edamame.”
“Now I look like a heavy drinker, don’t I!?”
“I assumed you were tired after all the preparations lately, Scarecrow-senpai. And with another meeting tonight, it can’t hurt to get plenty to eat.”
My, my, thought Senpai while enjoying the wisdom god upperclassman and underclassman’s exchange.
…It’s so different from Sumeragi-kun and me…
Well, he was unique in a number of ways. Anyway, there was one thing that bothered her.
“Olympus? Do you think they are trying to meddle in our terraforming rights?”
“Every mythology wants to. That’s how lengthy and big an undertaking it is. There are oddities like Yomoji-san, but it’s generally the accumulation of a lot of work. So the mythologies that excel at it will get involved in the other mythologies…if not try to outright take over.”
Scarecrow sighed.
“But this was not one of the usual accidents during terraforming. His rollback will be done tomorrow, but you need to be careful.”
“Are you saying it wasn’t an accident that he was hit?”
“There was no one in the dump truck. We are looking into it now and Olympus has agreed to an investigation led by a third mythology prepared by Balancer. Olympus had been trying to get involved here lately, so this actually worked against them a little bit.”
“Then this was different from normal, wasn’t it?”
“Isn’t that why you called me here?”
●
That was true. After that, they had exchanged what information they had and checked on the pace of the terraforming before ending the meeting.
And this morning, she had called in the Norse group and Omokane, since she led the Shinto group here. But…
“This time, it happened after we made a fair amount of terraforming progress, but what happens now? And what does it mean that this wasn’t an accident?”
“I spoke with Balancer and gods from the other mythologies, so Sumeragi-kouhai’s rollback is already underway. Any delays now would give them an excuse to intervene, after all. We worked quickly this time. The rollback should be complete before long, so you can go check on him later.”
“Check on him? …Oh, you mean that.”
“You have to play the new neighbor again. Sorry for putting you through this.”
And…
“As for it not being an accident, we still don’t know for sure about that. And you should probably assume we will never know for sure. We need to be ready for a number of different possibilities.”
Hearing that from Omokane meant they were done with this topic for now.
There was only one more thing to say:
“Please try to prevent anything like this again. It’s a lot of trouble for the terraforming.”
“…”
“…Understood. The terraforming does come first. I will keep that in mind.”
Omokane got up. She usually had two ferrets on her shoulders, but now there was only one.
“Where’d the other one go?”
“Shitaharu loves construction sites, so I let him go for a walk.”
Did that mean Omokane was looking into things herself too?
●
“Okay, that ends this meeting, so are you headed to the student apartments, Senpai-chan?”
Shifu asked that while they walked toward the school on the road in front of Tachikawa Station. The other girl sighed.
“I have to meet Sumeragi-kun there. That is my duty.”
“Humans really do die easily, so don’t worry too much about making it perfect.”
“Yes, I suppose this is the…12th time, I think?”
“The rollback thing must be pretty shocking from a human perspective. I mean, it’s shocking to us gods too.”
The rollback system was a privilege given to the humans involved in the gods’ terraforming.
Humans were far too weak, so it was difficult for them to function in the same environment as the gods. So…
“When Sumeragi-chan dies, we just have to get serious and revive him.”
●
It was simple.
Basically, he could not truly die.
But the gods were not all-powerful. Since this was being done with the gods’ authority, there were some analog issues with it. Such as…
“The memories are only added on by the day, so when he’s rolled back, he won’t remember yesterday. And the memory retention isn’t perfect even outside of that, so he forgets a fair amount of the past with each rollback.”
●
Yes. He would lose his memories of me.
“I know. He’s already forgotten that he chose me as his partner, his reason for doing so, and plenty more.”
But…
“He still says he will do the terraforming with me.”
That was an important psychological support. A few rollbacks ago, he had completely forgotten about me and I assumed he would refuse to be my partner, but he never did.
I was always worried that might change the next time, but…
“He’s always chosen to stay with me, so I trust he will this time too.”
“…That can’t be fun.”
“Y-you’re the ones that set it up this way!”
“Calm down,” said Shifu while holding out her hands. They would reach the apartment soon, so Raidou opened a Revelation Board and checked the time.
“He’ll wake up in about 5 minutes, right?”
“Balancer will wake him up while staying hidden, so I assume so. Senpai-chan, if you’re worried, do you want us to cheer you on from here?”
“N-no, I don’t need you acting like you’re my mom!”
“Then,” said Shifu with a pat on my shoulder.
“I’m sure you’re tired, but if anything’s troubling you, just stop by the game club. We’ll be eating convenience store meals there for our ‘first day routine’.”
“…”
“…Sumeragi-kun puts us all through a lot of trouble, doesn’t he?”
“Ohh, now you’re acting like he’s an old friend! I hope you can keep that up.”
With that, the other two made their way to the school. I saw them wave, turn around, and point in different directions as they discussed which of the nearby convenience stores to stop at.
“Will Sumeragi-kun and I ever be like that together?”
At any rate, this was the first step of the rollback.
I was the upperclassman moving in next door. It was all rolling back to that.
●
I have a memory of playing a really fun game. I remember it clearly.
My opponent appeared in what I guess you would call outer space and there was a large fleet laid out far behind me. That opponent was of course in a space warship. There was a whole fleet of them and it was honestly pretty cool, but it was my job to command my fleet and defend against their attack.
Those attacking opponents were my old friends.
I…well, I stood in an open area and commanded my subordinates. I think it was what you call the ship’s bridge. It was designed just like you always see in anime and whatnot.
Everyone took action when I gave an order. But none of them were human.
They were automatons running on AI. They promptly began to intercept our opponents. They immediately executed my orders, you could say.
Meanwhile, one of my friends on the offense side displayed their face in the air in front of me. I was using a Shinto-style Revelation Board, so my friend’s face appeared inside the torii-shaped display space.
We were playing a game, so there was only one thing to do: tease each other. We made faces, exchanged trash talk, and I had a lot of control over the Revelation Boards, so I moved it around to their side and did a little dance to annoy them.
They laughed and admitted defeat, so it was time for the real battle.
There was someone by my side then.
Who was it? Oh, yeah. I remember. But the game was more important at the moment. Yes, if I won this, she was going to tell me something important. Um, what was it again? I think it was in exchange for showing off what I could do in the game. But…
“Wow.”
I lost. Badly. And an AI spoke from my Revelation Board.
“Oh, that would be another game over there.”
●
I awoke with a start.
I felt like I just had an awful dream. Or rather…
“I died!”
I was pretty sure I’d died 2 or 3 times. I caught my breath while just sitting in bed in a T-shirt and underwear with the morning sun shining in on me.
I checked the digital clock on the same shelf as the TV next to the bed and saw it was 08:03 of 8/4/1990. I disliked how the time and date didn’t quite match. Was this going to be a bad day? Or wasn’t it?
But that aside…
“Is this what it was??”
The reason I had “died” had fallen onto the bed.
It was just an ordinary pair of game glasses. Those things you put on to play an immersion game. They looked like glasses, but they were sitting next to my pillow. Or more likely, they had fallen there. That meant I had fallen asleep while playing the game.
The glasses said “Genesis-Edge” on them, but they technically weren’t a game system. Were they VR equipment? Well, I had bought these things while hoping they would be good for killing some time. They’re the latest fad and it cost me a week’s pay from the part-time job I started during summer break.
“Summer break, huh?”
My school was local and used a dorm system, which was rare these days. That meant I didn’t live at home. I had moved out when my parents went overseas. It was just too big for me alone.
But I did have plenty of memories there. Um, well, I can’t actually remember any of them now, so…uh, just trust me. Some moving stories had to have happened there.
And now I was living a carefree life.
The school had a huge campus, so the dorms were more like fancy apartments. The building was only two stories, but I think it still qualified as fancy. They were built 15 years ago and they were apparently built before this was part of the campus, but they were made into dorms when the land was bought up by the school.
I would have preferred a “dorm” like this outside the school, but my parents probably didn’t feel safe having their kid outside the managed campus.
●
“…Huh?”
I realized something. I was supposed to meet him as a neighbor moving in.
But…
“I forgot to bring my suitcase when I left earlier.”
I was emptyhanded.
●
I didn’t have any breakfast. Crap. I hadn’t expected the fridge to be empty. I recalled something about a convenience store meal, so I tried to remember what I had eaten last night.
“Did I have a convenience store katsudon?”
I couldn’t remember. At any rate, I had been working part-time, so I had money. So…
“I guess I’ll eat out.”
When I went to change, I found only new style uniforms in the closet, which was pretty bad from a fashion perspective. But the uniforms were hung up in a weird mix of different varieties, so maybe it kind of worked? Well, whatever.
…Oh.
Right, I thought as I suddenly remembered an image of the night sky.
No, not just a single image. It was an afterimage of the countless stars in the sky. It was a flashback. I was remembering something.
“Outer space.”
Or rather, a planet.
I realized I had left the TV on. A square-faced newscaster was talking about humanity’s settlement of another star system.
●
<Um, excuse me. What is the hold up!? I am stalling for time, so could you hurry it up!?>
“No, um, I don’t have my clothes suitcase…”
<You didn’t bring it with you when you left? That empty one, I mean!?>
“Why do you know it’s empty!? That’s a violation of my privacy!”
<To be clear, I manage the Divine World, so while I will honor your privacy, the weight in different locations is calculated as stress on the secondary world. Based on those results, the suitcase has been empty since the third time.>
“I-I sat through that entire explanation, but weren’t you trying to hurry things along!?”
●
I remembered something while watching the TV in the dimly-lit room.
It had been a while since humanity discovered a livable star system that was actually within reach.
That led to a boom in space development and, by the time kids my age were in our thirties, we will have resumed the exploration of the unexplored parts of the deep sea, the high mountains, and the tropics as a way of simulating that field. Our classes had a lot more occupational training for that reason.
But anyway…
“Clothes and food are what matter now.”
●
<There is new movement in the ape’s room. I should not exist in a ’90s world, so it is time I made myself scarce.>
“Ah, ah, you irresponsible AI!”
I had no choice but to call for help on a Revelation Board.
“Um, Shifu-san!? A little help please!”
“Oh, oh, what’s this? We’re checking what options this convenience store has. Wanna join us? They have pizza-flavored Umaibo.”
“I thought you were buying meals there. We just ate burgers, but Sumeragi-kun won’t have had anything to eat. Please think about his nutritional balance.”
“Is she his mom?”
“And didn’t you have some pressing issue?”
“Yes! I need to pretend I’m moving in next door to him.”
“I’ve always wondered what the point of that is. Same with our game club act.”
“Well, by keeping things the same each time, it prevents any errors in Sumeragi-chan’s memories, right?”
“Yes! That’s right! Anyway, I left behind my clothes suitcase when I went out to meet him!”
“…”
“…Tooru? Senpai-chan just confessed she didn’t bring any clothes with her when she went to meet Sumeragi-chan.”
“I feel like showing up in front of his room with no clothes on would solve a lot of things real quick.”
“I’m still wearing clothes!”
I decided it was worth making that clear.
●
Okay, I decided.
I need to buy some clothes. Also some food. So if I got dressed and grabbed my wallet, I would find happiness outside. Get ready, world of consumerism. I’ll be with you soon.
I could buy a new style uniform, but I already had some of those.
So I would buy normal clothes.
“Okay.”
I quickly got dressed.
●
“Yeah, but they generally don’t sell suitcases at convenience stores.”
“I-isn’t there something you can do!? Like ask a craftsman god!?”
“I’m here to help with your Shinto stuff, but I wasn’t expecting that help to involve supplying a suitcase with only a few seconds of warning…”
“Should we ask the brothers Buroku and Etori?”
“Eh!? You can do that!?”
“I think so, but then it’ll probably automatically return after you throw it or it’ll have a really short handle but be the strongest there is when you spin it and hit people. You’d have to call it a suitcase hammer.”
“Wh-why would you suggest such weird craftsmen!? You’re talking about world-ending legends now, aren’t you!?
“Hmm, it’s not as unconventional as Shinto, but we have a pretty wide variety of crazy on our end of things too.”
“Ah, ah, I’m almost out of time!”
“Hmm, why not say you were just checking out the room? Then you can say you’ve decided to move in.”
“That’s it! I’m checking out the room! Perfect! I’ll use that!”
●
I walked outside.
My room was on the 2nd floor. The hallway was as large as a terrace and I found someone standing next to me. They were in front of the neighboring door.
“A girl. And with big boobs…”
“Eh!? Oh, um, I…I’m just here to check out the room! Yes! It’s that time of year!”
It was a girl I didn’t recognize and she started blurting out a bunch of exposition.
She was tall and had big boobs.
●
She fit my tastes perfectly.
●
I told myself to wait.
This was always a tricky time. After all, it was a meeting between Sumeragi-kun, who had just been rolled back, and me, who remembered everything.
…It’s a pretty sad time for me.
I had to restrain myself and respond to him properly.
But that was fine. I knew he would soon start being his old self again, like he had regained his identity. So I had to act cheerful while trusting in him.
That had become downright routine by this point. However…
“…Eh?”
Something was wrong.
“Sumeragi-kun…?”
“Yes, that’s me!”
He looked a little different from before.
“Is something wrong!?”
●
Why are you a girl!?
Chapter 12: Junction 02[edit]
Gods are not all powerful
But why are humans so unrestrained?
“Umm…”
Seeing Sumeragi-kun(?) step out of his room was confusing.
…A girl just left Sumeragi-kun’s room!!
I wanted to add “I’ve never even been in there before!”, but that was not the issue here.
But I still had to check on this.
“Um…Sumeragi-kun?”
“Oh! Yesh! I’m Sumeragi Izumi!”
The name was right. So was the personality for that matter. However…
“A girl?”
“Yes! My boobs aren’t as big as yours, but I do have something there! I’m enough of a girl that ‘I ate a banana for breakfast’ sounds dirty to me!”
I had no idea what she was saying.
That meant it had to be him in there. However…
“Have you met me before?”
“No! If I’d met someone as busty and beautiful as you, I would definitely have added it to my mental storage, but I can’t find anything on you! That means we’ve never met before! Oh, and I’m a big boobs worshiper!”
It felt like nothing but his appearance had changed.
At any rate, that seemed like enough to confirm this was really Sumeragi-kun.
…Hm?
<Over here, over here.>
Balancer casually appeared behind him…well, her.
…You're not supposed to be here yet!
They had to know that. Which was why they communicated via text from behind Sumeragi.
<Go elsewhere and check your Revelation Board!>
Oh, right. He and I…well, Sumeragi and I were terraforming partners, so I just had to check my Revelation Board to see if this was indeed Sumeragi. So…
“Um, Sumeragi-kun!?”
“Yes!? What is it!? Do you want some tea!? Some breakfast!? Or is this a marriage proposal!?”
“I’m going to ignore all that, but I have some business to attend to, so goodbye for today!”
“Goodbye! I look forward to seeing you again!”
At least she was in a good mood. But for now…
…I need to get out of here!
I had to visit a certain place and check on some things.
●
Balancer was at a convenience store in between the apartment building and the school.
Raidou and Shifu had been shopping there before. Balancer could track them as an administrator, but that information was not needed for their current task. But based on the convenience store’s sales record…
<Those two sure do love sweets…>
They bought a lot of snacks with lightning and metal themes, like Kaminari Okoshi, Black Thunder, and Calcium and Iron Beverage, but that may have been a sort of good-luck charm.
<Those don’t quite match this era, though.>
“Balancer!!”
There she was. The busty god’s shoes screeched along the ground as she came to a stop and she slapped Balancer’s frame while catching her breath.
“Okay! Okay! We need to have a meeting! Behind the store!”
<H-has your personality changed entirely!?>
“Sumeragi-kun’s whole sex has changed, so don’t worry about it! Okay, I have some questions, so get back here! Behind the store!”
This seemed like that thing where delinquents dragged a poor victim behind the store, but Balancer followed her regardless.
●
Balancer watched the busty god sigh.
<Would you like some water?>
“Yes, I would!”
<Then you can get some from there.>
When Balancer indicated the faucet on the back of the store, she grabbed their frame with both hands and shook it.
“C’mon, don’t do that! Who would recommend drinking from the same faucet used for cleaning outside the store, watering the plants, and washing things off!?”
<W-well, given how this phase world is constructed, it is really all the same.>
“Are you like those people who claim all food is the same once it’s in your stomach!?”
Balancer used their administrative privileges to call over the automaton stationed as a convenience store clerk.
It was a female one. She handed the busty god a 250mL bottle, bowed, and returned to the store. The bottle with a silver, blue, and green mountain logo contained…
“…? What is this?”
<Oh, you did not know? It is mineral water. That means it is from a natural water source. That is the Oshimizu brand which is sourced from the Tanigawa Mountain Range.”
“Um, so for us, we would be ingesting the ‘phase’ of the Tanigawa Mountain Range, so it would have a purifying and energizing effect, wouldn’t it? Although the effects would be reduced by substitutions if that is not your territory…”
She asked a question.
“Does this water really recreate those regional aspects?”
<To be blunt, it was taken from the Tanigawa Mountain Range created in this phase space, but the spirits and gods that create that phase were given a real or virtual manifestation and I artificially manifested the rest, so the quality should be no different from the Earth Age.>
But that was not perfect.
<I doubt a human would notice anything, but for a god, there might be a noticeable difference. However, I believe this is best for the Shinto gods since it fits the recreated era.>
“Is there any water from Mt. Fuji?”
<There will be mineral water from Mt. Fuji if you wait until 2012. Then again, the details of recreation are fairly lax, so I could speed up the safer parts of history to have it produced sooner.>
“Um, I really don’t think my divinity is at a level worthy of that kind of thing…”
<Just keep in mind that such things are possible. Now, it seems that idiot has gone from being an evolved ape to being a female evolved ape.>
“Yes. Um, I check on that here, right?”
She opened a Revelation Board.
<There are parts you cannot check, but I will use my administrative privileges to give you access while I am with you. That said, I do not have complete control of everything, so it would be faster to ask Raidou’s group.>
They then checked on the idiot’s data.
●
“Hmm?”
I decided this really was strange.
Sumeragi and I had a partnership contract. It was sort of like a contract of mutual exclusivity between a god and a human, so this page had been added to my Revelation Board after Sumeragi chose me. In fact…
“You could say I only managed a real manifestation because Sumeragi-kun chose me.”
<With a god of your level and with your specific authority, it was honestly uncertain whether or not you should be given a real manifestation.>
That might seem insulting, but I could not deny it.
I felt gratitude and many more emotions about Sumeragi for choosing me.
“So what does this say?”
The information on the Revelation Board had not changed from before. Which meant…
“Wait, this says Sumeragi-kun is still a boy!”
●
“Yay! The Tachikawa Will is so much fun!”
I wanted to buy some clothes, but I didn’t have the money for something at a fancy boutique. However…
“Looking around is free!”
Nice! I thought the best part about shopping was the fun of picking something out, not buying something. The people who enjoyed the buying part probably also enjoyed owning the things and doing their finances. Those things weren’t bad, but…
…Trying things on and seeing how I look in them is a lot of fun!
But I didn’t like the places with mannequins and where a clerk would come over to talk to you right away. I preferred a shop big enough that you felt like you could get lost in it. And in a station building like Will, there had to be a lot of customers like me. The staff was used to people who were only there to look and had no intention of buying anything.
So I had fun looking at and trying on the clothes like a jellyfish wandering the ocean in search of food. That sounded pretty poetic! And I guess that’s fine!
I was really into sleeveless things right now. Probably because I really liked the look of the girl’s new style uniform that new neighbor had worn. That’s what I wanted to see! I loved the way a hint of sideboob stuck out of the sleeveless arm hole and I loved that urge to stick your hand into the gap there!
She seemed like a nice person, so it was possible she would let me stick my hand in there if I bowed down and begged, but I’d probably get the cops called on me. I was smart enough to know that much. There were times when the law refused to take your side even when you got consent. Dammit! Dammit all!
But I was a girl. So I was lucky enough to come equipped with my own boobs, even if they weren’t as big as Senpai’s. Which meant…
“I can wear a sleeveless top and try it out on myself!”
It wasn’t a crime if I did it to myself! Of course it wasn’t. I’d still get the cops called on me if I did it outside, though.
But my boobs were smaller than Senpai’s, so would I really get the customer satisfaction rating I wanted doing it to myself? I would hate for it to be a huge disappointment. So was this enough to emulate it properly? Hmm, no way to know but to try.
“…”
Oh, no! I quickly realized I really sucked at it! It was obvious the second I tried it on myself! I was sure I sucked even worse than the average person. The movements of my fingers were too stiff! My fingers couldn’t keep up with the ideal groping technique I could picture in my head! I realized that playing the piano and guitar was all about practicing your finger technique. But how was I supposed to get the flexibility needed to massage some boobs? Did I have to practice on myself?
“Well!? How about that!? You like that, don’t you!?”
No, that wasn’t working. Maybe trying it on someone else would help.
“Excuse me! Ma’am! Could I grope your boobs real quick!?”
The clerk ran away in a hurry, so my charm was apparently too much for her.
●
<Eh? An idiot is trying to grope her own boobs on the third floor of the Tachikawa Will? Excuse me, but I am not entirely sure what you mean. Regardless, all of you automatons can ignore that idiot. If necessary, you can always call for the police in police box at the north entrance.>
●
The atmosphere was feeling fairly dangerous, so I considered heading to the Mujirushi Ryohin on the next floor up.
But just then…
“Hey, you.”
“Yes!? What is it!?”
I turned around and saw a tall and busty girl.
“Oh, what a cutie.”
“No! I was the one talking to you!”
I turned further around and saw a tall boy.
They both wore modified new style uniforms.
The boy slapped the busty girl on the shoulder.
“Ki, don’t rush out ahead of me.”
“I just so happened to be closer is all.”
“It doesn’t matter,” said the boy as he stepped in front of me. And…
“So you are…”
He started to speak, but then he frowned.
“A girl?”
●
“Yes! I am indeed a girl! And I’m a big boobs worshipper!”
When I responded, the busty girl’s face lit up.
“Eh!? Then how do you like these puppies!?”
“I’d love to get a feel of them, but I just now realized my technique needs work and I plan to start working on that!”
“I’m not entirely sure what you mean, but you must be the dependent of a busty god. How wonderful!”
“It is wonderful! I love busty people like you!”
The busty girl laughed quietly and then spoke to the boy next to her.
“Bil, I don’t think this is them.”
“No, our information said they were a boy.”
The boy groaned in thought and tilted his head, so I tilted my head too.
“Is something wrong!? Something worth calling the cops over!? Is there a bad guy around here!? Just so you know, I haven’t done anything wrong!”
“Yes, well, it seems we were mistaken. Based on the information we received, there must be a boy who looks a lot like you. Sorry for being so rude.”
He got down on one knee and bowed his head.
“I should not have said what I did. I apologize.”
“Apology Punch!”
His lowered head was in the perfect position, so I reflexively sent out my right fist.
It made a really dull sound and I could really feel the impact in my fist. Oww! How hard a head did this guy have?
“C-curse you! What do you think you are doing!?”
The busty girl was laughing her ass off next to us, so it all felt pretty great. I struck a pose.
“That was the Apology Punch used to accept an apology! You didn’t know about that!?”
“Of course noooooooooooot!? Who would punch a complete stranger in the head!?”
“Who would see a cute girl practicing her boob groping technique and mistake her for a boy!? Give me back my dignity! Give it back! Besides, if you think that’s a normal thing for a guy to be doing, that must mean you practice groping those busty girl’s boobs in 30 sets of 5 every single day! ♪Raise your fingers high and spread them nice and wide♪”
“I do nothing of the sort!!”
The busty girl laughed and looked my way.
“We came here to check out the clothes here, but this was way more fun than I expected. Bil, you lose this round. This girl…well, I’m not entirely sure what she is. She has no more power than a household god, but she has guts.”
She then held out a hand.
“Sorry about this. He has a really hard head, doesn’t he? Those differences can be a surprise.”
She held my right hand in hers.
…Hm?
Something felt wrong. And aside from that…
“Oh, the pain in my hand is going away.”
In fact, my hand felt even better than before all this. I wasn’t sure what it was, so maybe the blood flow had improved. Or…
“Is this an illusion?”
“There, there. …Doing crazy things without thinking about the other person is fine, but be more careful, okay?”
After the girl rubbed my head, the boy sighed in exasperation.
“Well, that was shameful in the worst possible way. …Hato should be here soon, so let’s join her.”
“Yes, it has been a while since the three of us were together. …Bye.”
The busty girl stood up and then whispered in my ear.
“I was originally created as a guy. What do you think about that?”
“I think it’s wonderful!”
I answered immediately. And this made sense. When she had taken my hand earlier, her hand had felt weird. It had clearly been too hard to be a girl’s hand. But…
“I think that’s really cool!”
●
“Whatever your reasons were, you chose to look like that because it’s what you want to look like, right!? If people can choose their clothes to express who they are, then why not change their body for the same reason!? And that you chose to have big boobs fits perfectly into my big boobs worship.”
“—————”
The busty girl’s expression softened. And she rubbed my head again.
“My name is Kidou En. You can call me Ki. …Use that name where people know me and I’m sure they’ll help you out.”
“Hey, Ki! We’re going!”
“Yes, yes,” said the person going by the name of Ki. After waving at me, she turned swiftly toward the boy and spoke.
“I will follow you wherever you might go.”
●
“Isn’t Sumeragi-chan running late?”
Shifu spread the convenience store meals out on the table in the game club’s clubroom.
They had rice balls and salad. They also had a makunouchi bento for Sumeragi since he would be hungry, but they had also bought a lot of sweets to snack on while playing games.
“The other times, we would spot him on the way here and call out to him.”
“Yeah. We usually see him from the hallway over there. …But we came here when he never showed.”
“Does Sumeragi-kun know wherrre the clubroom is?”
“Yeah, he knows, he knows. He automatically comes to the right place after we call to him.”
Tooru had been playing Gameboy with Yomoji for a while now, but…
“Ah, you asshole! You aren’t using your absurdities against me, are you!?”
“Nooo, no, nooo. I’m actually having troubllle because I keep getting too many loooong ones. I either have to errrrase four lines at once or staaaaack them up.”
“Whoever loses needs to let someone else play. But Tetris can be weird. The pieces can look a bit like runes after all.”
“Yeah, it sometimes looks a lot like some kind of diagram. …How are you doing, Kuwajiri? Have you finished Sokoban 2 yet?”
“…”
“Kuwajiri-chaaan?”
“Eh!? Oh, yes!? What is it!?”
“Why are you zoning out?”
“Um, well, uh.”
While Kuwajiri tried to find something to say, the door to the game club burst open.
“Is that Sumeragi?”
“Excuse me! What is going on!? Sumeragi-kun has turned into a cute girl!”
What in the world was that supposed to mean?
●
Decoding what Senpai-chan was saying was no easy task.
“Um, we split up earlier and you went to the apartment, right? And then you called us because you forgot your luggage.”
“Yes! And when the door opened, a girl walked out! A girl left Sumeragi-kun’s room! So I panicked! All the flusterediness vwooshed up inside me!”
“And you didn’t attack her on reflex? I’m impressed. A European god might have transformed her into a goat or fish on the spot.”
“But when I took a closer look at the girl, I realized it was Sumeragi-kun!”
“The girl was? Are you sure it wasn’t a sister or cousin?”
“It was him! I could tell from the mannerisms and scent!”
●
“This upperclassman is fairly dangerous herself…”
“Hmm. Well, it’s a kind of illness, so don’t worry about it too much.”
●
“When I tried talking with her, she kept talking about and staring at my chest, so I decided that was normal for Sumeragi-kun.”
“Normal?”
“Sounds like turning into a girl didn’t change him at all…”
“Did turrrning into a girl really mean anythiiiing?”
“Are you sure he wasn’t just crossdressing?”
“I mean, Shinto is 100% okay with crossdressing and I’m ready to accept it as just one more weird thing if he started doing it! But that was not crossdressing! I mean, the boobs were jiggling a little.”
“Eh? So Girl Sumeragi has big enough boobs for that? So can she just worship herself now?”
“No, no, no. Mine are bigger, so Sumeragi-kun will still worship me.”
“Not sure that’s something to brag about…”
“But! But! It’s true! It’s absolutely true! Sumeragi-kun wants to worship my big girl chest more than your big man chest!”
“Senpai-chan, Senpai-chan. I get that you’re freaking out over this, but you’re getting really childish. Yeah.”
“…”
“Kuwajiri-chan, are you worried that a former boy has you beat in the chest department?”
“No, that’s not it! It’s not!”
“Anyway, I spoke with Balancer while rushing here, but…look at this Revelation Board!”
“Oh?”
“Right here! It says Sumeragi-kun is still a boy!”
●
Shifu thought for a bit.
“What does that mean? Was Sumeragi-chan rolled back as a girl despite being a guy?”
“That’s what I want to know!”
“Could his big boobs worship have gone too far and transformed him?”
“Um, excuse me a moment.”
Shifu looked to the side.
The underclassman there had not been saying much.
“Look, I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, so stay calm and listen, Kuwajiri-chan.”
“I will tell you whatever I can.”
“Good, good,” nodded Shifu before asking the crucial question.
“You’re in charge of handling Sumeragi-chan’s rollbacks right now, aren’t you?”
●
“Eh?”
I voiced my confusion.
“I thought Kunugi-san and Kido-san were in charge of that.”
“Well, they’re pretty busy and it was a bit too much to ask of them personality-wise…or lifestyle-wise I guess you could say. So that task was given to us. We’re a lot closer to Sumeragi-chan, after all. …Senpai-chan, you should really come visit us more often like this.”
“Eh? Um, uh, well, but, I…”
“Kuwajiri, did you turn Sumeragi into a girl for fun or something?”
“No, but I was handling the rollback work while having a meeting with Kunugi-senpai this morning…”
“Yes, yes. And then what?”
“Well, remember how we were having a meeting over yakiniku two rollbacks ago when it went really well?”
“We ate a loooot of lamb.”
“I gained some weight from that.”
“Yeah, you are kind of made of alcohol.”
“Eh? Eh? What does that mean?”
Shifu was hesitant to respond, but she did so when Kuwajiri gave her the go-ahead with a look.
“Kuwajiri-chan, the legends say you were born from the mead we gods made, right? That affects your body, so your blood alcohol level is always really high, isn’t it? You couldn’t get a moped license because of that, could you?”
“No, I couldn’t. It’s the same as how fire gods have a high body temperature. In my case, it only appears in the test results, but I do wonder if I can think so fast because I am effectively intoxicated at all times.”
“Oh… So you don’t get drunk and it doesn’t show on your face, but it’s different on the inside?”
“I wish I was a more traditional kind of god…”
“Yes, but not showwwwing that you are drunk is a goooood thing.”
“Is it? Well, I guess it is.”
“Yes, yessss. Back during my heyyyyday, drinking was really popullllar among my followers. At the tiiime, I had bit of a short temper, so when I couldn’t get to sleep because they kept worshipping meeee in the middle of the night, I dropped three – I guess you would calllll them meteors? – on their heads to give theeeeem a hell of a party! I can see why they feared me.”
“Wow, Yomoji-chan doesn’t mess around.”
“I mean, is there any difference between you and an evil god?”
“Now, now, now. I’ve calllmed down a lot since then. So, Kuwajiri-kun, not getting druuunk is for the best.”
Kuwajiri tilted her head a bit as if to admit defeat.
But they could not end the conversation there.
“So, Kuwajiri-chan, what happened with Sumeragi-chan?”
“Yes, well, I have been on a banana diet for breakfast lately. Although come to think of it, my blood sugar must be high enough to shock the medical gods, so maybe there’s no point. But my body is obedient and I have been losing weight.”
“Ohh, straightforward is best with you, Kuwajiri-chan.”
“Thank you. Now, I was adjusting the settings as appropriate while peeling and eating my breakfast banana this morning.”
And…
“In the middle of the work, the banana broke in half and it really surprised me, so I accidentally bumped into the Revelation Board I was using to set up Sumeragi’s rollback. But there weren’t any errors and I managed to catch the banana, so I decided it all worked out.”
“That’s what happened?”
“Yes, that is what happened”
●
“Hey, Senpai-chan?”
“…”
I spoke to the dumbfounded girl.
“I’m pretty sure this is the banana’s fault, not Kuwajiri-chan’s.”
“W-wait just a minute!”
“Oh, have you switched back on?”
“O-of course I have! I mean, a banana!? The banana broke and Sumeragi-kun turned into a girl!? Is the banana a euphemism!? Th-then what do I need to do with a banana to turn Sumeragi-kun back into a boy!? Peel it! Hold it in my hand! And then what!?”
“Hey, Senpai-chan? You’re headed in a weird direction here.”
“So does this mean you prefer Sumeragi as a guy?”
“Eh?”
Senpai-chan’s expression went blank and then she rapidly blushed.
“B-but, um, uh…the banana! Yes! You want a banana! A banana to go with the corresponding fruit! The, um, peach, I guess!?”
“Hey, you’re still headed in that weird direction.”
“Wahhhhhhhhhh! Shifu-san, what do I do!?”
“There, there. Come cry in my real-life big boobs.”
I couldn’t help but think how much Sumeragi-chan would have loved to see this.
But just then, a knock came at the door. It was a metallic sound but also a light one.
“Sumeragi?”
“Eh!? W-wait, if I’m here, he’ll think I’m stalking him!”
“Aren’t you, though?”
Everyone tensed up a bit, but then the person outside spoke.
“Is Raidou or Shifu there? It’s me. Kunugi.”
●
Raidou looked over from his chair.
“Hey, what is it? If you need to carry out some art, I can help you.”
“No, it isn’t that. I went to the library for some research and Kubiko told me something.”
That being…
“Three big names have been sent here by the DC.”
“Wow, Balancer is completely useless.”
<I apologize for popping up out of nowhere like this, but I do not interfere with the decisions made based on the rules established between the gods.>
Well, that was true. And what did this mean, anyway?
“Did they send some inspectors because the Shinto terraforming is taking too long? Do they think they should take over instead?”
“Be careful. If only we had a bit more progress, we could probably manage the real manifestation of some physical types.”
“But you’ve got us instead. Anyway, about Sumeragi…”
“Yes, that would be-…”
The voice suddenly stopped. After a quick apology, the presence behind the door left and was replaced by some extremely careless footsteps and a rough but light knock on the door.
“Are you there, Senpais!? I’m here to play some games!”
●
“Waaaah! Wait! Wait! I need somewhere to hide! It would seem really weird if I had just moved in today but was also already in the same club, wouldn’t it!?”
“Give up. That ship has already sailed.”
I shook my head.
“No, no! Th-there’s a locker in here, right!? There it is!”
“Senpai-chan, we’re about to start a pretty long gaming session, so can you really go that long without visiting the bathroom?”
“G-goddesses don’t use the bathroom!”
“Shifu-senpai, is that true?”
“What do you say, Tooru?”
“Don’t pass this off to me!”
“C’mon, I want to know what you think. I won’t get mad no matter what you say.”
“In that case,” began Raidou.
“You’re the kind of girl that knows it’s better to get rid of what you don’t need. Plus, you’re always pretty and cute no matter what you do.”
●
“…”
“…”
“Heh heh.”
●
“Wow…”
The passion was pretty intense. And…
“Heh heh.”
“What’s so funny?”
“Say stuff like that more often! Then I’ll be even prettier and cuter!”
“If you do, I’ll probably be too awed to say anything.”
That was what you got with a heroic couple from Norse mythology.
“This is kind of embarrassing to watch.”
“Kuwajiri-kun, do you not let it show on your face?”
“This really isn’t the time! I need somewhere to hide!”
“Hiiiii! Sumeragi Izumi, coming in!”
She came in!
●
“Wah!”
Now I’ve done it, I thought.
This was clearly out of the ordinary. It didn’t add up. I mean, the girl who had just moved in next door was all of a sudden in the same club as the upperclassmen Sumeragi-kun already knew. Plus, I was freaking out.
“U-um, Sumeragi-kun? I-I can explain…”
●
“C’mon, Senpai-chan, just go with the standard explanation for this.”
“What’s the standard explanation? Is there some magic word to solve all this?”
“You bet. It’s ‘stalker’.”
“It might explain this, but not in a good way!”
Meanwhile, Sumeragi-kun looked at me.
“Oh! You’re the busty upperclassman from next door, aren’t you!? Yay! Are you joining this club!? Yahoo! I’m so happy the busty neighbor can also be a busty club neighbor! Thank you so much!”
Oh, thank goodness.
“Even as a girl, he’s an idiot…”
No, no, no, no. Well, yes, but it really saved me this time.
“O-okay, since Senpai-chan is thinking about joining, let’s go easy on her and have a welcoming party for her!”
I felt like I could never thank Shifu-san enough for playing along.
Chapter 13: Junction 03[edit]
Well, let’s have high hopes for as long as it lasts
…Oh, these games are pretty fun.
To be honest, I had never played any before. I had enjoyed some sugoroku and karuta during my virtual manifestation, but these games based on the Divine World and other worlds were a new thing to me.
Understanding the setting took some brainpower, but Kuwajiri quickly explained everything for me.
“This game is set in a world based off of the human world in Western mythology. The youths in the village gather treasure in the forest to make their way to the castle.”
“Um, so it’s something like finding success in life?”
“Yes. Everyone is a protagonist and the other players are rivals who will get in your way.”
That made sense, so I learned the rules and tried to play. And I was appreciative because…
“This is our first time playing this one too, so we’ll all be figuring it out as we go.”
It was nice when no one had an unfair advantage. And as a result…
“Oh, no! I’m dead last again!”
“Why do you say everything out loud and make a show of it?”
“That’s just my personality! It’s what makes me unique! You must have an awful personality to reject what makes me who I am!”
“How about you say that into the mirror next time?”
“Anyway, Senpai-chan is weirdly good at this. She’s #2 overall, isn’t she?”
“I’m glad I’m #2, but wh-why is it weird?”
“Your dice luck and luck of the draw are really bad, but you’re really good with your closed-off tactics. It’s incredibly lopsided.”
“??? Closed-off tactics?”
“I mean you’re weirdly good when you ignore everyone else and just do your own thing.”
“In mahjong terms, you’re the type to ignore the other people’s discards as well as everything else outside of your own hand, yet you somehow never discard the tile someone else is waiting for.”
“Yeah, sorry, but I don’t really know how mahjong works.”
At any rate, I looked up at the ceiling and responded.
“Well, that’s probably just how my natural bad luck works…”
Were they trying to cheer me up or put me down?
Regardless, Sumeragi was incredible too.
“Sumeragi-kun, you haven’t won at all, have you?”
“It’s fine. My losses only fuel your victories.”
“Man, thanks a lot for that.”
“I didn’t mean you, Raidou-senpaiiiiiiiiiii! I was talking about our new member right over herrrrrrrre! As a game club, we should call her a newb member! Oh, and that sounds a lot like boob member! Booooob! Memberrrrr! What’s that look for, Kuwajiri!? Don’t you think it sounds like that, Senpai!? Oh, whoops. I was only talking to myself, so forget I said anything!”
I had no idea what Sumeragi-kun meant.
But then I glanced at the clock.
“Ah, it’s been two and a half hours already!? Did someone cast a time spell on us!?”
“Spell?”
I slapped my own face like Sumeragi-kun often did.
“U-um, that is something of a specialist term that only I would understand. Yes.”
Kuwajiri gave me quite a look, but I pretended not to see it.
Meanwhile, Shifu laughed.
“Yeah, this tends to happen when beginners get hooked on a game. What are your afternoon plans?”
“Eh? Um, the standard plan has me cleaning up my room.”
I felt like my explanations were getting a lot lazier. But…
“Senpai! If you need help unpacking your things, I can join you!”
●
Eh? Shifu’s thoughts ground to a halt, but then…
…Oh, that’s right!
Sumeragi was a girl right now, so there was no problem with her going to Senpai-chan’s room.
“Then why not, right?”
“No, no, no, no! Wait, Shifu-san!”
Senpai-chan kicked Shifu in the shin. As for why…
“Oh, sorry. I dropped my…game piece, I guess?”
When she climbed below the table, Shifu caught on.
“Oh, it rolled over here. I’ll get it.”
They both climbed below the table.
●
“Hold on, Shifu-san! I’ve ‘moved in’ 12 times already with all the rollbacks, so all my things are already in place!”
“Huh? They are?”
“Yes! And when I saw Sumeragi-kun today, he had turned into a girl, so I ran away like some kind of weirdo.”
“Um, so what happens if Sumeragi-chan goes to help you move in?”
“I’m supposed to be moving in today, but he…she will find everything already in its place. That’s going to seem weird and maybe even dangerous.”
“How would it be dangerous?”
“There are a lot of photos of Sumeragi-kun on the wall bordering his apartment.”
“I’m not sure what to say when you look so proud about that…”
“Anyway, I’ve known him for a while now and my room has turned into something of a shrine to him, but Sumeragi-kun (Girl Version) has only just met me today and it will look like a dangerous room full of photos of her as a boy! It’ll be like the Shinto version of Voodoo or something!”
“Could you maybe have not made a shrine to him?”
“I mean, uh, it just kind of turned out that way… This is my first time doing anything like this.”
“…”
“Oh, so it’s your first time.”
“Wh-what? Why are you slapping my shoulder and acting all understanding?”
“I see, I see. I’m rooting for you, okay?”
“No, wait!”
●
I heard Senpai slam her head into the bottom of the table.
It was a hard enough blow for the game pieces and wooden figures on the table to fall over.
“Ow!”
…She’s so cute!
Also, there was her butt.
She thought she was fully under the table, but she had not properly accounted for her butt and it was sticking up a bit in all its round glory.
“Nice…”
“It is nice, isn’t it?”
Oh, could he see Shifu-senpai’s butt from that side? Must be nice. But I preferred Senpai, so I was happy where I was. Anyway…
“Wah…”
“Ahh, I really needed that.”
The two of them got back up from the floor.
I wasn’t sure what had happened, but they seemed to have hit it off well. Shifu-senpai walked to the locker in the back with something of a skip in her step and opened a box labeled Inventory Box.
“Okay, for today’s welcoming party, let’s play some of our unused games until afterschool hours and then visit a family restaurant.”
“Huh? Doesn’t Senpai need help moving in!? I don’t get to enjoy the special event where her scent spreads through the unused room!?”
She ignored me.
“Oh, you can play this with two or more people, but it’s bound to be more fun with six or more. Drawing out the railroad tracks sounds like a lot of fun.”
She pulled out some kind of big white box.
I glanced over at Senpai who had returned to her seat to wait for whatever was being set up in front of her. Was she expecting something fun? I really liked that atmosphere, so I wasn’t going to say anything.
But why did everyone keep glancing behind me every so often?
●
I, Balancer, thought of myself like a butterfly today.
I floated above and behind the idiot’s head to send information to the others.
But that ape moved around a lot. And in very strange ways. But I had figured something out while following the ape’s movements for about an hour.
…This idiot keeps casually moving her head into whatever position gives her a surreptitious glimpse at Senpai-san’s butt, chest, or thighs!
I could not say anything out loud, so I used text to inform the others.
<Excuse me! You are looking at a pervert!>
For some reason, Kuwajiri glared harshly at me. No! I did not mean me! But Shifu…
“…”
How is a silent nod enough of a response to that!? Wait! You Norse gods need to treat the world’s balancer better than this!
Then she sent me a message.
“Balancer, you’ve been acting a lot more like Sumeragi-chan lately.”
Even as an AI, I wanted to die. Was that actually a testament to my high functionality? I used that thought to cheer myself back up, but the others started sending me messages too.
“We’ve played an awful lot of games, haven’t we?”
<You get bored with them too quickly.>
“Well, we are in here playing them eeeeevery day.”
“And I think those upperclassmen get really good at them way too fast. As a wisdom type, I can read the rules and figure out what will likely give me an advantage based on past records from similar games, but they always get way better than me while we play them. In a way, they arrive at the essence of the game really quickly and I theorize that is why they get tired of them quickly as well.”
“In that sense, you can blame it all on the delays to the terraforming.”
Everyone fell silent at that. Senpai-san seemed curious about what I was saying, but she could not get a good look while seated next to the idiot. But that was for the best since this topic was hard to bring up with that Shinto pair.
<It seems a bit early for the DC to send inspectors.>
“Well, gods do tend to be pretty impatient. During the Earth Age, I would blow away anything I didn’t like using my divine hammer.”
“Balancer? I don’t think these board games are going to be enough.”
<Why not play some video games?>
“Sorry. My reflexes are devastatingly bad…”
“Also, the TV in here is a 20-inch, but that’s all you could expect students at our level to have during this era. But that’s pretty small when playing a two-player game and we don’t have a game that all six of us can play together.”
<Are you that fixated on playing games?>
“Sightseeing and arrrrt are no fun because it’s all stuff that either you or weeee made.”
That was true. With historical and fantasy games, it was like seeing the originals dressing up and walking around. Movies, dramas, and anime could be interesting as well, but they had less repeat value, took up less time, and were not as much of a group activity. So…
“Could you send us some games from a little later than this era? You gave us a few sets of those in the beginning.”
<Hmm… I’m not sure I should. I think that previous service may have been a mistake.>
“Why?”
<Well, a monster of a game called Catan is released in ’95 and that leads to that sort of game being produced in a much greater number and variety, but I ended up giving you a few games from that later era as an initial service. It was inaccurate from a recreation standpoint, but that seems to have taught you to enjoy games like these.>
“Oh, and you want to avoid having those ‘inaccuracies’ become the main thing we play?”
<Well, I doubt whatever you play here will be influential enough to shake the Divine World as a whole, but I still do not like how readily you are willing to accept those inaccuracies. I want you to do this right whenever possible.>
And I had more to say.
<As for arcade games, the fighting game Street Fighter II is released in ’91 and grows popular enough to lead the industry for a while.>
“Eh!? They make a second one!? I played the first one like crazy in the Topos game section!”
“You meant that one where you’re always banging on the controls? I can’t play those. I’d break my nails.”
<Now, I could let you see what happens to those industries afterwards, but I was hoping you could try some other things before I brought ’91 or ’95 here.>
“We do have a lot stocked up, so it might be a good idea to play through those first. The three-player games were tough to play with our numbers, but now that we have six players, we can split into two groups.”
<You really do like playing games, don’t you?>
“We are the Norse gods after all. In that snowy land, people had a lot of time to tell stories and play games while stuck at home during the winter.”
But Raidou added one more message.
“Then again, we do need to take on our proper roles instead of just playing games all the time.”
●
“You can’t just play games all the time, you know? So how are things going on that front?”
Scarecrow thought about the question directed to her.
She was in the library working the checkout counter while reading an extinct animal encyclopedia.
“Shall I make you a library card?”
“You’ll make one for me? I do think I will come here from time to time. …The more topics of conversation the better, after all.”
“Is that so?” said Scarecrow before asking the other person a question.
“You were given a real manifestation by viewing the current oldest work of literature as mythology, so what business do you have here?”
“Did Balancer tell you?”
“No, I simply could not detect your divine territory. And you do not have the scent of a nature god like my friends among the Norse and Egyptian gods. …If you are very old but not a nature god, the options are rather limited. Also…”
“Also?”
She seemed really into the conversation and that seemed like a common trait among the gods of ancient mythologies.
“That uniform.”
It was a new style uniform, but most of it was made of transparent materials and the cutting was quite risqué. If she was from an ancient mythology and intentionally showing off her body…
“You appeared in the legends as a prostitute. …If I assume you are from a major mythology, that more or less confirms it.”
Scarecrow gave her answer.
“You are Shamhat, a prostitute who rose to the level of a god. What are you doing here?”
●
“Oh, dear,” said Shamhat.
“I am currently going by the name Shamu Hatoko. You can call me Hato.”
“I asked what you are doing here.”
“Fair enough,” said Hato with a hand on her chin.
“Are you familiar with my role?”
“According to the epic entitled ‘He who Saw the Deep’, you work at temples as a sacred prostitute. In other words, you are a priestess who grants people divine authority through the act of docking.”
“That is not quite the word I would have used, but I like the sound of it. Continue.”
●
Scarecrow was actually blushing a little on the inside.
…The library is not the place to talk about things like docking!
The gods related to such things would see it differently, but she was not such a god. Well, agricultural gods do have to worry about pistil and stamen issues.
Regardless, that was Shamhat’s job.
And the job of temple prostitute made it clear what her role was.
“Since you work in temples, you must go around visiting different temples, visiting royalty who have been given divine authority, and visiting other kingdoms. You must also visit the wealthy. In other words, the name Shamhat refers to you as an individual, but it also refers to a group or to the areas in which the temple prostitutes live in each region.”
And what did that mean?
“Those of you in your group will approach those with divine and royal authority while establishing a network that allows you to move between those people without opposing them. The kings cannot let their guard down around you, but you are also a powerful source of intelligence and you can be sent into enemy territory to gather information before an invasion. I can only speculate, but to sum up…”
Scarecrow held out her right hand to point at Shamhat’s face.
“Your role is either to declare war on us or to establish a relationship between us and your king.”
●
Hato smiled.
“You are getting ahead of yourself there, but I do like the caution. …Yes, even Bilgamesh sent me to his future partner Enkidu so I could teach her about Babylonian culture.”
But she also tilted her head.
“It’s strange, really. I came here to prepare the way for Bil and Ki, but every time I’ve tried to meet up with them here, it hasn’t worked.”
Hey.
“You’re using your authority to prevent me from meeting our main party while we’re here, aren’t you?”
“Oh? What makes you say something like that?”
Scarecrow gave a small smile.
“Perhaps a mere upstart overestimated her ability to prepare the way and has simply failed to find the gods who are only living their lives like normal.”
“Perhaps so. It might be that. But you know what?”
She asked a question.
“I tried entering this school a few times because Bil and Ki told me to go ahead of them. …And you know what? When I walked straight ahead after entering the school, I found myself in front of this library.”
Scarecrow said nothing, so Hato continued.
“When I saw the library sign in the hallway, I thought I had taken a wrong turn, so I tried using the side entrance the next time.”
But…
“I ended up here again.”
●
Isn’t that odd?
“After some thought, I tried going in…I think it was Building B. I ended up here.”
What could that mean?
“I was curious, so I used the emergency stairs to enter at the second floor. But yet again, I found myself here.”
She had to laugh now.
“Kubiko Scarecrow, this is your authority.”
●
Hato smiled.
Just as her identity had been revealed earlier, it was her turn to reveal this other girl’s identity.
“You are a god who guides visitors and shows them the way. Add in the fact that you control agriculture, and your identity is not hard to figure out. Especially when your name is Scarecrow. …You are Kuebiko, god of scarecrows, aren’t you?”
“Oh?”
The other girl raised her eyebrows. She looked honestly impressed.
“It sounds like you did your homework. I did not expect someone from such a major mythology to look into such a small part of Far Eastern mythology.”
“Yes,” said Hato.
“But I made sure to look into everyone that has already made an appearance here.”
She took a breath.
“Scarecrows use their presence to tell people where people live and sometimes to point them in the right direction. They also keep away harmful birds and act as a warning to foreigners. …Does that give you a combat element in addition to the wisdom and agriculture elements?”
“I do not have anything that impressive.”
“Oh, how scary. My authority is more suited for use on men, so I doubt it would be much use against you.”
“But you still intend to prepare the way?”
Hato could tell Scarecrow was trying to provoke her.
But she shook her head.
“No. I think there is an easier way. Plus, Bil and Ki are not following me right now.”
“Is that so? I am glad to hear it.”
Hato realized something when she heard that.
Scarecrow had stood up at some point and she held a cane in her left hand.
The counter stood between them, but they were still very close together. This meant…
“The scarecrow has moved? What path are you directing me down?”
“I am on the Library Committee. So…”
She placed a card on the checkout counter.
“Knowledge is a path to anything and everything, so I will offer you that path here. Write your name on this and you can check out five books at a time. You can check them out for two weeks. Is that clear?”
●
“Incredible…”
Tenma looked to Omokane by her side and sighed.
They were in the library.
They were behind the counter and behind Scarecrow.
Shamhat, who was going by Shamu, was tilting her head at the counter and writing her name on her new library card.
She had not noticed Tenma and Omokane.
“Omokane-senpai, she was looking for you.”
“Yes. Shitaharu noticed her ahead of time, so I fled back here to see what happened, but Kubiko-kun really is useful at times like this.”
“How does this work?”
“The standard way for any Shinto individual to escape pursuit is to hide in the rice field, Tenma-kun. And Kubiko-kun can create a ‘rice field’ within the mobile territory around her if it falls under Shinto jurisdiction. In other words, we need only remain behind her. As long as no one with a greater divine rank shows up and as long as we do not speak too loudly, no one can find us here.”
“Make sure I don’t see you when you leave, okay? But…”
“Yes, they are here. And since they were not caught by your ‘guidance’, those two must have a high divine rank. I bet theirs is even higher than mine.”
Omokane took a breath.
“It seems we must make some preparations and lay some groundwork. Also…this is probably a job for me rather than Sumeragi-kouhai. I need to learn what the DC wants and what those two are after.”
●
“I see. This is indeed dangerous.”
Ki heard her partner say that.
“It seems Shinto is being supported by more mythologies than we thought.”
“Most of them are newer than us. But that is why they will have new and improved techniques. It is times like this when we truly cannot let our guard down.”
They discussed this in some shade from the summer sun.
The place known as the club building was a building with clubrooms arranged in a large circle. The middle was an open atrium with a diameter of about 20m and the door directly across that center area was labeled “Game Club”.
They stood at the entrance. The first floor hallway led to the courtyard. The hallway had doors to shower rooms and bathrooms. It also had some vending machines along one wall.
They could hear the voices of the athletic clubs in the distance, but were those coming from some silly gods, or were they automatons created to recreate this era?
That was unclear.
“It’s become painfully obvious we’re using brute force to enter a strange land.”
“I would like to claim it is the powerless who try to run away, but whoever set this up has a decent divine rank.”
Ki’s partner narrowed his eyes toward the sunlit door across the courtyard.
“I would like to say this distance is nothing, but…”
“Just give up. We didn’t prepare for this and that means we were careless.”
“Maybe I should start carrying a Silver Mattock around everywhere.”
“I would advise against it because you would stand out too much around town. And I know you really would do it if I didn’t stop you.”
She stepped up to his side as she continued.
“Listen. You can’t see it, but the courtyard has been turned into a labyrinth. And only for outsiders.”
“Hato was supposed to meet up with us, but she was guided elsewhere. …They set us up, didn’t they? I’m sure some of it was a misunderstanding, but Hato has a troubling tendency to intentionally fall for those things for fun.”
“If Hato was here for this labyrinth, she would almost certainly rush right in so it could ‘swallow her up’.”
Ki pulled out one of her black hairs and tossed it into the air.
Instead of a summer wind, a wind seemed to blow from their shadows and into the courtyard. That wind carried the hair.
“Watch this.”
The hair floated away from them, but the answer was revealed to them when it had traveled a mere meter away from them.
It disappeared.
“Was it erased?”
“No. Like I said, it was ‘swallowed up’. You could also say it was ‘taken deeper in’.”
●
This is trouble, thought Ki.
“I really don’t want this to be a common thing, but it’s a labyrinth divine protection.”
“Is it for those theme parks that were developed later on? We didn’t have any of those escape games back in our time.”
“No, this is more troublesome than that. It’s deeper. You saw my hair grow darker when it disappeared, right? That was because it sank into a ‘dark’ depth.”
“Where do you think it is from?”
“Labyrinths created underground can be found pretty much anywhere, but the deeper ones would be from Egypt.”
Ki’s partner placed a hand on his chin as he thought.
“If I knew we were getting into a fight with the Heliopolis bunch, I would have brought my Hyper Armor.”
“Are you planning to go to war? We are here to negotiate. Although military might is still important. Also, the Heliopolis group is in the same position as us here.”
“So this is similar to infighting?”
“I heard from my mother that other gods from Egypt were given real manifestations to prevent too much authority from gathering in the Ennead.”
Ki explained.
“Are you familiar with Khnum?”
●
Bil responded to that name with a hand on his forehead.
“So that’s what this is about,” he muttered.
“So this has to do with your origin, does it?”
“That would pretty much be the original story of creating people out of dirt. But that is probably why he was called here. And…”
Ki slapped him on the shoulder.
“If it was Khnum who did this, he has a longer history than us. Just in case, I want to avoid being trapped.”
“You always stop me from doing things.”
“Because I am always following you.”
And Ki said more.
“Paying respect to someone with a greater history is the right thing to do. And if we don’t provide any direct support, I doubt he will get in our way beyond this. This labyrinth is really only meant to give the ignorant gamers some time to prepare. In that case…”
“I must accept this as Bilgamesh, king of all creation, hm?”
“You’ve been a good ruler ever since you joined me, right?”
Ki smiled and slapped his shoulder again, so he had to make a decision.
“Fine then,” he said.
“I can’t say no when you use Call Bil on me. Let’s go, Ki.”
And just as he turned around…
“Waaaaaahh!!”
They heard a loud shout from the door across the courtyard.
“I lost! I lost! Senpai, I’m nothing but a pig compared to you and Family Tennis!!”
●
“They really are just playing games, aren’t they!?”
“That voice sounded familiar, but maybe I’m imagining it.”
Meanwhile, a Revelation Board opened. The slate-style screen showed Hato who had gone missing.
“Hey! Let’s meet up outside! It probably wouldn’t work out inside the school! And I checked out a bunch of books, so help me carry them! This Sazae-san Volume 1 has got to be super rare!”
“What have you been doing!?”
“Hmm, she’s acting a lot different from her virtual manifestation. I hope there’s nothing wrong.”
●
Senpai was ridiculously good at Family Tennis.
“Wow, you got the top spot when you’ve never even played this game before.”
“Eh!? Eh!? Is that what…happened?”
“I thought we’d be waiting around a lot with a 6-person tournament of two-player matches, but watching the other games gets pretty exciting too.”
“Yomoji-senpai’s idea was a good one. When you win a match, you get 1 point. When other people are playing, you bet on one of the players and get 1 point if they win. If they lose, you have to give one of your points to the person who beat them. That allows a major upset even when someone has taken a bunch of points.”
“Sumeragi, you intentionally took a loss so you’d be dragged down from the top spot, didn’t you!? Who loses while using Bunbun!?”
“Huh!? Don’t be silly. I give every challenge my very best shot, but when Senpai played against me using Ebaruto and swung her body around along with the controller, I couldn’t take my eyes off her jiggling boobs and a game over was unavoidable! So what place did you end up in, Raidou-senpai? 4th? That’s what you get! I was in 5th! Oh, what’s that look for!? Give me more!”
“I’ll ignore all that noise, but Senpai-chan? The match against Sumeragi-chan might be a special case, but why are you so good at this game?”
“Eh? A-am I that good?”
“I think it worked in her favor that she focuses on her hands without looking at her opponent. With a 20-inch TV, she can still see the whole screen while focused on her hands. And Ebaruto has the highest running skill and has a good racket hitbox thanks to the girl character rules.”
“Kh. I can’t believe I ended up in 4th while using Endoru.”
“Well, I’m not too upset since I ended up in 2nd.”
Shifu then changed the subject.
“I have a suggestion. How about we do the terraforming here?”
●
“Are we set up to do it here?”
“We are actually. Check this out.”
Shifu opened the locker. When she had opened it to pull out the games earlier, Balancer had been inside glaring at her, but…
…Honestly, what is that AI even doing?
●
This was what happened earlier:
“What are you doing here, Balancer?”
<Oh, well, I have a bit of a suggestion. Once you have had your fill of those silly games, why not continue right on to the terraforming?>
“I take offense at some of that, but what about the visors? We technically don’t need them, but they make it easier for Sumeragi-chan to accept what’s going on.”
<Not to worry. I have created some in the next locker over. It was a rush job and they might not actually work, but there are enough of them for all of you.>
That was convenient. But Kunugi would not have shown up earlier for no reason.
“Has some trouble shown up?”
<You could say that, yes. I think it would be best to make some progress and then head to the family restaurant.>
●
Kuwajiri asked the idiot a question while watching Shifu place enough visors for everyone on the table. She made sure to glance over at the busty upperclassman first.
“Sumeragi, do you remember ‘dying’ during the terraforming before?”
“Eh? Did that happen?”
The idiot had not actually died during the previous terraforming session. That had happened after being hit by a truck in the Divine World afterwards.
That may have been why the idiot tilted her head.
“I’m not sure. I do kind of remember being hit and killed in the city at night while playing some kind of immersion game.”
“Um, then do you remember the terraforming?”
The idiot thought about Senpai’s question.
Sumeragi may have been so carefree because she did not understand what any of this was about, but she finally answered with a smile.
“Again, I’m not sure. I do have a vague memory of being killed by…a dragon? Something red?”
●
…Wow…
Kuwajiri sighed in her heart.
The busty upperclassman would have wanted the idiot to remember what happened the day before, but…
“…”
Oh, she thought. This god can keep it together.
In fact, she had managed that before too. During the 11th rollback, she had endured Sumeragi’s idiocy while hoping things would work out better the next time.
She was probably doing the same during this 12th time.
…What a foolish goddess…
Even Kuwajiri’s divine rank was higher. She did not know what god this busty upperclassman was, but if her original values were low and she was close to that initial state, then someone who had risen a fair bit like Kuwajiri would end up at a higher place unless her potential was very high indeed.
But Kuwajiri had not gone to all this meaningless effort.
An idiot chose you as their partner and then forgot about you. Kuwajiri had never experienced anything like that, but this foolish goddess was enduring it right now. So…
“Sumeragi.”
She spoke to that idiot.
“You might not be aware, but the terraforming works with a partner system. And, well, you chose your partner on a whim. Do you know who it is?”
“No, I don’t. I didn’t even know I had a partner.”
“Your partner is this upperclassman here. Lucky you, huh?”
“For real!?”
The idiot had already looked away from her. Meanwhile, the upperclassman glanced over at her and nodded. Then Shifu smiled from the next seat over.
“Kuwajiri-chan, you can be awkward, but it’s great that you can do things like that.”
“I see no reason to work on being less awkward.”
Shifu slapped her on the back a few times, but that was a good thing. Then they put on the visors, but there was no reason for that either.
Still, they covered their eyes as a ritual to help Sumeragi understand what was happening. And…
“Let’s get started.”
●
Shifu lifted up her visor.
Everyone else was wearing theirs, but…
“Sumeargi-chaaan?”
Sumeragi had removed hers. She also seemed focused on the upperclassman next to her.
“If you’re going to touch her, do it once we’re on the other side.”
“No, no, no! This isn’t about that! I was just interested in the visual! I mean, blindfolds are pretty kinky!”
Did it matter at all that he turned into a girl? she wondered, but…
“C’mon, put your visor back on.”
“Oh, okay! I’ll do that!”
She did. Then Balancer appeared over her head.
<I need to send Senpai-san first. I will toss the idiot over immediately afterwards.>
Being an AI couldn’t be fun. Shifu realized Senpai-chan and Kuwajiri had also lifted up their visors to look at the idiot. Tooru was crossing his arms in an impressive pose with his visor still on and Yomoji was seated with oddly proper posture, which had an oddly dangerous look to it.
…We don’t do things halfway, do we?
All of a sudden, Senpai disappeared. Sumeragi soon followed.
“Ohh.”
The visors must have been fixed to a coordinate because they remained in the air even after the people wearing them disappeared. In that case…
“Okay, send us too. It looks like we have to do it right this time.”
Balancer nodded and then her vision wavered.
She shifted out of place.
She shifted out of the AI-created Divine World and into reality.
Chapter 14: SimEarth 03[edit]
Let’s try doing this somewhat seriously
Balancer decided to be stubborn.
The planet had yet to be terraformed. In reality, the sky gave a view of the stars, but it was stormy with heat and smoke. On the surface, there was only a narrow foothold’s worth of land. That land did have a stone hut on it, but…
<Today, I must ask for all you gods and this one ape to terraform.>
“Hey, I hate to interrupt right away, but tear-a-form? What kind of form are we supposed to tear? Also, who are you?”
<Terraforming is…>
Balancer looked to the gods seated at the table. They all looked the other way, but…
<Weren’t you supposed to explain that kind of thing to the ape and guide her to the library?>
“Yeah, but then you showed up and started talking about inspectors from the DC.”
“What’s the DC? Don’t use abbreviations before explaining what it stands for.”
“Let’s not get too meta, okay?”
“DC stands for Divine Committee. It is a place for the gods of different mythologies to speak together and discuss which mythologies should be assigned to what based on the progress of the terraforming of each planet.”
“Does this talking screen have something to do with that?”
“No, Balancer is one of the world’s managers, but they cannot directly interfere in who is sent to handle the terraforming.”
The idiot tilted her head and groaned in what may or may not have been understanding.
Then she spoke again without warning.
“What do you mean by gods?”
●
Balancer shuddered.
How much of her memories had that idiot lost? The situation was troublesome enough with gods from the DC here, but now they had to figure out how far to roll her back. However…
…A-an AI as skilled as me might shudder, but I will not lose my cool!
Balancer looked over to see Kuwajiri holding her hands together and bowing her head at the far end of the table. It made sense that she felt responsible since she was in charge of the rollback, but…
…Isn’t that the Buddhist or Shinto way to pray?
Had she learned that while living in this Divine World? The mixture of different cultures did feel like the Japanese way of doing things. At any rate…
“So where are these gods?”
<Well, they’re actually sitting right next to you.>
The ape looked over and Yomoji raised a hand.
“Hi.”
“…”
“Hey, screen. Did you not get enough sleep last night? Nap rooms are only 7000 yen for 2 hours.”
<I have no idea what you mean, but they are indeed gods.>
“Eh!? Then I am too!? You’re saying I’m a magical god descended from some fancy foreign land in the clouds!?”
<You are an evolved ape. Do not be ridiculous.>
“Huhhhh!? What the hell is this!? Some new form of bullying!? It is, isn’t it!? You’re trying to exclude me by creating a discriminatory environment where you’re gods and I’m a human, aren’t you!? I’ll never forgive you for this one! You’re dumb! You’re stupid! I mean, sure, I love big boobs so much that I hurt my trapezius muscle turning my head too fast after passing by a busty girl in town the other day! And sure, I enjoy the view of the new style uniform from below, so I follow the other girls up the stairs while jumping back and forth saying stuff like ‘Oh, I can see it! Ahh! No, I can’t!’ But you still shouldn’t do this to me! Okay, do we all see who was in the wrong here now? Then let’s all head home for today.”
<Can we move on please?>
“Waiiiiit! Where’s my reaction!? I need a reaction! Tease me! Tease me more!”
Wait a pain, thought Balancer while looking over at the gods, but they only looked away. That left Balancer with no choice but to speak to the idiot.
<Excuse me, ape. Do you understand the language I am speaking?>
“D-dammit, now you’re trying to provoke me, aren’t you!? Aren’t you!?”
<Just listen. I am willing to compromise. What must the people around you do to convince you they are gods?>
“Huh? Well, something godly, right?”
“Okay, Sumeragi, come on outside. I’ll hit you with a bolt of lightning.”
“Wait just a second! Sumeragi-kun will die again!”
“Lighting strikes are actually pretty survivable. I mean, she might end up hemiplegic, but she’ll survive.”
“Okay,” said Kuwajiri while raising a hand.
“I am a god of wisdom, so I can answer any question. Ask me something. It might be boring and time-consuming, but that should show I am a god.”
She must have felt responsible for this situation, so she pointed at herself.
“Now, ask me anything.”
“Anything!?”
The idiot asked a question.
“Then tell me your measurements! When was it that you really became aware of yourself as a girl!? And what do you do when you’re alone and feeling too horny to resist!? Yeah, this is crazy levels of sexual harassment, but it’s okay because you gave me your consent first, right!? Thank you, Kuwajiri!”
●
“Huh? I thought you were a god of wisdom. What’s wrong? Why so quiet? C’mon, answer me. C’mon, c’mon. How about saying something, hm?”
“H-how dare you!!!”
●
Shifu consoled Kuwajiri while the underclassman buried her nearly tearful face in her large chest.
“Sumeragi-chaaan, Kuwajiri-chan takes everything seriously, so don’t joke around like that with her, okay?”
“A word of warning, Sumeragi. Ask Shifu something like that and she’ll knock you to the ground with a smile on her face.”
“For real!? Please do!”
She gave her what she wanted
●
…Wow, he…no, she really flew…
Sumeragi would be fine since her body was covered by my divine protection. Probably. Shifu would have been holding back too, but she still flew a lot.
It had to have been 70 meters.
Sumeragi flew out of the open entrance, bounced a few times on the ground, and then did a weird caterpillar like movement with her butt in the air for a while. But then she hopped back to her feet.
“Wow! A punch from a busty girl is a reward! That was fantastic!”
She ran right back.
Meanwhile, Shifu turned toward me with an awkward smile.
“Sorry about that. I messed with your charge.”
“Oh, um, no, well, uh.”
“C’mon, you’re supposed to get mad and say something like ‘Sumeragi-kun is mine’.”
“Um, but, I…”
“I know you want to keep some distance from Sumeragi-chan and us and I know nothing I say is going to change that. I mean, gods have all sorts of different authorities and it’s not uncommon for one of us to die if someone calls our name. But still…”
She got to the point.
“Keeping some distance between you means you can’t be together.”
“…Right…”
I knew that was a problem, but this had to do with my personality, which made it hard to change. Although that itself seemed like another excuse I had made for myself. Anyway…
“Thank you so much! Punches are so much more powerful with the boobs inertia added to the equation! Wanna go try the punching machine at Tachikawa Oslo sometime!? I’ll be making a mental recording of how your boobs move!”
“You are incorrigible, aren’t you?”
Shifu sounded like she had half given up on Sumeragi, but I was actually thankful for Sumeragi’s weirdly positive interpretation of things. It did bother me that Kuwajiri was looking at her like she was absolute filth, but I decided to assume something else would improve Kuwajiri’s opinion of her. However…
“So. Why am I supposed to believe you’re gods?”
●
Are you serious? I thought while asking a question.
<That punch just sent you flying. Doesn’t that seem like godly power to you?>
“Huh!? That was a giant boobs punch! It was a reward! It doesn’t count!”
“Um, then what would it be if I punched you and sent you flying?”
“Violence?”
Kuwajiri sucked in a deep breath, so that god of wisdom must not have liked the double standard there. I agreed. But Raidou responded with a smile.
“Nice! It’d be messed up if a god of thunder wasn’t violent, right!?”
“Hey, Tooru, you’re just weirdly happy that my punches are being called rewards, aren’t you?”
“That’s not weird,” said Raidou.
“Humans are given trials by the gods. They might be painful, but they’re ultimately accepted with joy. This just means you’ve established that god-human relationship, Shifu. I’m proud of you.”
“If only it was about something less dumb.”
The divine couple laughed, but I did not really understand the rules they were following here. Regardless…
<So how do we get you to believe they are gods?>
That was a difficult problem. Was a live demonstration the only option?
<But when you provided live demonstrations during the previous rollbacks, didn’t he just assume it was an immersion game or special effects?>
I realized just how tricky this was going to be, but…
“Sumeragi-kun! Excuse me a moment!”
The god in charge raised a hand. And…
“What am I to you!?”
“Well! You’re a target of my big boobs worship!”
“Okay! And what does that make me!?”
“Well! It makes you my god!”
After a short pause, the idiot gave an “ah” of realization.
●
”Eureka!”
●
Shifu saw the idiot underclassman reach a consensus with Senpai.
“Wow, Senpai! Such brilliant logic!”
“Yes, the two of us are terraforming partners. You are the human representative and I am the goddess you chose at some point along the way.”
Oh, realized Shifu.
This was the crucial point.
How would Sumeragi respond with her memories gone?
“Sounds great! If you were willing to be my partner, you must be a wonderful god! I know I can be a little odd, but I prefer being with you! Let’s do this together!”
●
That idiot never changes, thought Shifu.
●
…Well, whatever.
I felt it would be especially awful that Sumeragi had forgotten about Senpai after that, but I was partially to blame.
At least that idiot was still good for something. The two of us could not have been more incompatible, but if the others saw something there, then Sumeragi must have some value after all. That was part of wisdom, so I could accept it. However…
“Um, and the others here with us are gods with higher divine ranks than me. Do you understand, Sumeragi-kun?”
“Yes! I understand! You’re all gods! You should have just said so in the first place!”
Balancer gave the idiot an indescribable look of disgust, so that AI had to be more like me.
●
“So did the game club start terraforming?”
When Scarecrow asked that while rocking her chair, Tenma nodded while casually reading a book on the counter.
“Yes. Balancer reported to Omokane-senpai earlier and she decided there was something else she needed to do.”
“So Yatsui is doing something on her own again, is she?”
“Do you know Omokane-senpai very well?”
“Hmm,” groaned Scarecrow with her arms crossed.
“She is a Heavenly God and I am an Earthly God. Plus, scarecrows were modeled after me. We normally would not have much in common.”
“Do you mind me asking how you know each other?”
“Then can I ask why you are a girl?”
“Um, if you want,” said Tenma.
“That was what is commonly known as a Fortune Inversion. By taking a different sex than your original sex or taking on a disability during your real manifestation, that ‘bad fortune’ toward receiving your full authority as a god allows you to receive some other ‘good fortune’ in exchange. With Shinto, the other mythologies are keeping an eye on us, so the real manifestation itself counts as ‘good fortune’, so the DC’s regulations require us to accept a form of ‘bad fortune’ to perform the real manifestation. It can be a problem if it harms your divine rank too much, but you can’t avoid it unless you are an entirely worthless god.”
“Just to be clear, that is not why I have my cane.”
She made sure to say that since Tenma’s eyes had turned toward that tool.
“I have had this since my virtual manifestation and it comes from me being a scarecrow.”
“Really? I thought it was strange for a god to be disabled as a part of their nature, but that makes sense.”
And she had more to say.
“I am a girl because when selecting a form of ‘bad fortune’, I thought it sounded pretty good.”
“Why?”
“Well,” said Tenma while closing her book.
She read fast.
The book on the counter was an illustrated reference book. Scarecrow had left it there to have a terraforming book on hand to offer Sumeragi. Tenma had read the whole thing in about two minutes. And strangely enough…
“You did not flip the pages too roughly, did you?”
The book had 400 pages.
To read that in two minutes would require flipping a page every three seconds.
But Scarecrow’s eyes and other senses had not detected that.
“I am a god of wisdom, but specifically one of learning. I prefer to treat books with care.”
And…
“I became a girl because I thought it would give me an advantage where books are concerned.”
“What made you think that?”
Tenma nodded.
“In my era, women had a clear advantage over men when it came to books. Men had to go out and work, they had so much business to attend to, and they were always concerned with writing poetry and socializing. There was just so much noise there. But the women stayed behind in their rooms and read books.”
“But wasn’t it a man’s privilege to enter places like libraries? Surely that means they also read books.”
“True.”
Tenma did not deny Scarecrow’s question, but then she smiled.
“That is why women I knew where so often begging me to bring them books. While the men were so busy making a name for themselves for the sake of social status and for the sake of their clan, there were women using them to read everything they could get their hands on. Oh, I was so jealous. I swore to myself I would live like that in my next life.”
“And how are you liking things now?”
“It wouldn’t have mattered if I was a woman back then if I didn’t have a man to get books from! I completely overlooked how much work the women put into building connections like that. They all came to us because I, the lieutenant general, and the others had the connections to get them what they wanted. As for now…”
Tenma looked up at the bookcases towering up even from the counter and she nodded.
“Yes, this isn’t bad at all.”
Hearing that, Scarecrow pulled a book out from below the counter and placed it in front of the girl.
“What is this?”
“An entertainment novel. This should be the best way to get a wisdom type like you to slow down your reading pace.”
“You always give the weirdest recommendations.”
“Books like this are actually a lot of fun. This one uses a trick involving the train schedule and, if you try riding the trains in this era, you can see how the trains ran according to the same schedule during the Earth Age too.”
“I see. So that is another way to expand your knowledge. A schedule trick, you say?”
Scarecrow nodded.
“Yes, and the trick no longer works just ten years later because of the appearance of cellphones, automatic turnstiles, and automatic transfer guidance. So if you want to enjoy it properly, now is the time to read it! We have quite a few copies here, so read it now while you can fully appreciate it! And you can think about how the culprit wouldn’t have even considered doing that if they had lived just a decade later.”
“Scarecrow-senpai, that is a weird way to read a book!”
“Yes. I enjoyed it so much I wanted to buy a bunch of copies for the library, but you know what Yatsui said!? She said they would be meaningless in 10 years’ time! Can you believe it!?”
“Wow… And now you’re taking it out on me, huh?”
“Tenma-kun, you were originally a god born of a grudge, so now you have to deal with my grudge.”
“Okay.”
Tenma nodded and then raised her head to look straight at Scarecrow with curiosity filling her eyes.
“Um, Scarecrow-senpai? How did you and Omokane-senpai meet?”
“Tenma-kun?”
“Yes?”
“I just told you about some extremely valuable lost knowledge from this age and taught you how to enjoy it. …That is more than worth some information from you.”
“Hmmmmmm!”
The underclassman started groaning and leaning back, so Scarecrow decided to prepare some tea for her.
She pushed off the counter with her cane to turn toward the cabinet behind her. The shelf contained an English-style tea set she had arranged based on book knowledge. She wanted to visit there sometime. And while thinking about that…
“Now, I wonder if the game club is doing their job.”
●
“I-I brought a book! A book on terraforming!”
“Ohh, so did I!”
I nodded at Shifu’s response and pulled a softcover book from my back skirt’s carrier pocket.
“This book explains all about terraforming. It’s actually a bigger book, but I asked Balancer to create an abridged version.”
Meanwhile, Shifu responded with “ohh” again and pulled out her own book.
From her cleavage.
“…”
“…”
“Ohh, there it is. Mine has data on earth’s composition. I thought it was convenient when I saw it as a poster in Ueno’s museum. …Wait, why are you two staring at me like that?”
“I-I’ll win next time!”
“Great! I look forward to it!”
Now it was a request from my believer, so I had to really work at it. But regardless, this all had to be very sudden for Sumeragi.
●
“Um, are we going to start working while I read?”
“No, if we were bound by your reading speed, we would be here all day. Not that there are days here.”
“You sure are testy. What did I ever do to you!? All I did was try to get you to say some dirty things earlier!”
When I said that, I felt a sudden tap on my shoulder.
I turned around to find Senpai. She looked at the hand she had tapped my shoulder with, at her large breasts, and then at me.
“…Huh?”
“Eh? What is it, Senpai?”
“Oh, um, I thought maybe I could do the same thing Shifu-san did.”
●
Balancer saw the idiot run full speed for about 70 meters.
“Ooooooooaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!”
Then she tripped and fell.
She rolled thrice.
“Ohh, now that’s what I call youth.”
<It’s what I call idiocy.>
The idiot groaned a bit about the damage from the fall, but she finally hopped back to her feet and looked back with a smile.
“You’re the best, Senpai! Talk about a reward!”
“W-wait, Sumeragi-kun. Are you okay?”
She panicked while a few Revelation Boards opened and closed behind her. Her level had apparently gone up from the power her worshiper gave her from this exchange.
“What kind of cycle is this?”
“That’s some reeeeal self-sufficency.”
Raidou crossed his arms and looked to his wife.
“She’s such an idiot.”
“If only she wouldn’t do those things she does.”
At any rate, Raidou approached the ape. Senpai-san could apparently already use a low level of healing Auth Spell, so she started healing the idiot who was scraped up and bruised from the rolling. But…
“Umm, about the terraforming…”
“Yeah, I know. …That book’s just for show, isn’t it?”
●
“That is correct.”
I nodded my head in agreement.
“The terraforming is centered on you, Sumeragi-kun. That is why the rest of us cannot give you any advice on what to do about it. However…”
I hesitated but said it.
“If you have a book or documents like this and you ask us questions based on their material, we can answer you using your knowledge.”
“Eh!? Then I can ask questions like I did with Kuwajiri earlier?”
Kuwajiri tapped Sumeragi on the shoulder and then pointed 70 meters away.
“Go.”
“Huh!? It takes boobs inertia to move meeeeeeeee!!”
That left me with no choice but to hit her in Kuwajiri’s place.
●
“Oooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”
“Ohh, now that’s what I call youth. So what do you think, Kuwajiri-chan?”
“Well, um, sorry for making you go to the trouble, Senpai-san.”
“No, um, I…”
“You’re the best, Senpai! Talk about a reward!”
<Huh!? How did repeat material make her level go up again!?>
“I-It was really low to start with! Is that so wrong!!”
●
I opened the terraforming book to figure out what to do.
“So what am I supposed to do?”
I didn’t understand any of this. Of course I didn’t.
“Are you familiar with the Shinto creation myth?”
“No, what is it?”
“Ohh, we’ve gotta start from there, Senpai-chan?”
Senpai stepped forward.
“Right. I am a Shinto god. Although I cannot tell you my identity quite yet. …Anyway, this planetary field was already prepared for us, but this is a Shinto planet.”
“So the terraforming will be done under the Shinto Scenario?”
“U-um? Scenario?”
“Yeah, something like that. SimCity, huh?”
“Yup! The PC98 version!”
“I played the X68 version, but it’s pretty much the same thing. You’ll be making this field habitable for humans but in a Shinto way.”
That kind of made sense to me, so I turned toward Senpai.
“So what does the creation story have to do with the terraforming?”
●
…Oh, she’s really asking away.
This seemed to be part of Sumeragi’s personality. When she decided on a direction to take things, she would go all in on it. I liked that since I had a way of falling behind, but it could be a little overwhelming when directed my way.
“Um, it’s about consistency and figuring things out.”
“Consistency and figuring things out?”
I nodded.
“We want to recreate the creation story, but the planet already exists, right? So we interpret that as this place being created in the previous myths.”
“What does that mean?”
<The field has already been modified a little, but the planet’s ‘mold’ is in a state of chaos and is returning to its original state. In a way, that is similar to the state of the world shortly after creation.>
In other words…
“By terraforming this place, we can control that original state and the mold.”
That was Shinto. I wanted to find a good way of saying that, but I decided to keep going without it.
“Most mythologies have a ruler within them.”
“And the ruler creates myths convenient to them, right!?”
“Y-you understand that?”
“Yes! If I ruled this planet, I’d create a big boobs mythology where the world was born from a goddess’s cleavage!”
Shifu was gesturing at me from beyond Sumeragi, so I tapped Sumeragi on the shoulder.
●
In the time it took Sumeragi to run 70m and back, my level went up again. And…
“S-sorry about all the trouble, but Shinto came from a ruler as well.”
“That’s most of what Shinto is, isn’t it?”
Raidou was correct. Sumeragi tilted her head, so I explained while using a healing Auth Spell.
“Shinto mythology in the Kojiki and Nihon Shoki is divided into a few different parts, but most of it is the stories that came from the Yamato Imperial Court mythologizing their conquest of Japan.”
“Um, then what are the Shinto gods?”
“There were earlier Shinto gods too, but a lot of the regional rulers that were destroyed or conquered by the Yamato Imperial Court were later worshiped as gods.”
“Hm? Why would their enemies become gods?”
“They were worshiped and made into local gods to avoid any curses or grudges.”
It was difficult to explain how people viewed things at the time, but I took a stab at it.
“At the time, people thought souls had nowhere to go after death and would remain in the land where they died. That meant a powerful leader’s soul would remain as a grudge and cause disasters. So instead of fearing them and treating them like demons, people instead worshiped them to calm their anger and made them a part of Shinto so they would protect that land. The people would purify them.”
“Quite a difference from our way of splitting their heads open and chucking them into hell.”
“So you recycled the regional rulers? Sounds economical.”
The others really needed to be quiet. But Sumeragi thought for a bit and then clapped his…no, her hands together. And she turned toward me.
“Umm, I know that! I do! Purification is that thing where the shrine maidens wear sexy costumes while banishing evil at the shrines! With lots of tentacles!”
“Umm, that’s not quite accurate, but let’s say it’s good enough! Yes, it’s all about purification!”
●
We were getting sidetracked, but this was an important topic.
“Shinto is a rare religion where purification takes the center stage.”
“You mean like getting rid of toxins and stuff?”
Close but not quite.
“Instead of getting rid of them, you return them to their original form.”
“An all-purpose cleaner.”
Where did that phrase come from? I wondered, but then Raidou spoke up behind me.
“The Cosmo Cleaner!”
It must have been something boys understood. I felt a little left out, but all-purpose seemed like a good word here. Because…
“In Shinto, using that cleaner is known as purification. It truly is all-purpose, so it can handle any kind of impurity, toxin, bad luck, or poor health.”
“Eh!? If you removed all your bad luck and stuff, wouldn’t you be unbeatable!? Let’s put out a late-night infomercial! Use our Shinto Power to suck up all the bad stuff! Suck, suck, suck! Shinto solves all your problems!”
“No, um, Shinto purification doesn’t make you stronger.”
This could be a little tricky.
“Purification only removes the negative elements, so it leaves behind the person in their natural state.”
“So they’re naked!? This is crucial information!”
“Umm…”
Balancer was gesturing at me with their frame from beyond Sumeragi, so I tapped her on the shoulder.
●
“Did she really need to hesitate on that one?”
“Senpai-san is too kind.”
<For real, though, you can just hit her right away.>
“I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!”
●
I spoke after leveling up again.
“Anyway, Shinto is not all that ‘strong’ a religion because it’s foundation is in purification. But that purification allowed them to make gods out of the regional leaders after defeating or conquering them.”
“So by purifying the defeated leaders’ grudges and worshiping them as gods, the pure souls of the leaders ruled over the land? Was that also done so the people of the conquered lands would accept the new state of affairs?”
“Purification is no more than purification, but by acquiring gods that way, you can borrow those gods’ authority. That means the religion allows for the acquisition and expansion of indirect rule and indirect power.”
That was right.
It was not direct, but…
“If you look at it in a positive light, it is a religion that does not make waves and does not allow anything to be wholly lost. If you look at it in a negative light, it is a religion that remakes everything in its own colors.”
“Yeah, but I bet both sides were doing it at the time. By leaving something behind, they at least got to coexist afterwards.”
“You say that, but you’re focused more on the emotional logic than the practical logic. …They were just making sure the people of the conquered regions did not try to avenge their fallen leader.”
“Why don’t you try that, Tooru?”
“After I defeat someone, the next one shows up before I can worship the first one.”
Norse mythology sounds dangerous… I thought. But…
“Yes. I believe Shinto allows those things to live on in their myths.”
That came from the god of wisdom.
And then she looked to Yomoji.
“When Yomoji-senpai’s religions moved into other regions, they would incorporate parts of the indigenous culture as a way of spreading, but leaving behind the logic of the indigenous culture would allow those regions to return to their roots, so they would leave only an empty shell of the original culture.”
“Yeahhhhh, I like to use whatever’s available to me.”
“You savage.”
“Yes, and thanks to that, you end up with traditions across Europe where people burn things at festivals but have no idea why they do it.”
“Obsessive fans sure are scary.”
My shoulders shrank down as I spoke up again.
“Well, there are things that didn’t get incorporated into Shinto. They are known as the ‘unworshiped’ and they can be found as traditions and mythical creatures in different regions. I think those were the local gods and rulers who remained in the form of grudges.”
“The spirits and legends across Europe are pretty much the same thing. In fact, there’s a lot like that at our school.”
That was true. And aside from that…
“Let’s get back on topic now.”
How did all this talk of purification and local gods connect back to the terraforming?
I turned toward Sumeragi who had been nodding along with what we said.
“Sumeragi-kun, you understand all this about purification and the origin of Shinto myths, right?”
“Eh? Sorry, but I’m dumb and I don’t understand it at all.”
Please! Please understand it!
●
Shifu decided to help out Senpai while Balancer replayed the lesson.
“I thought you managed to stay real calm since you didn’t have any of your usual ‘vwooshing’ and whatnot.”
“Yeah, but it didn’t work!”
“It worked with the 4th Sumeragi, right? She just forgot way too much this time.”
“I am so sorry…”
“Sooo what is the Shinto creation myth like?”
Shifu was curious about that too. As fellow mythological beings, she was interested in how this world had been made.
“So what was it like?”
“Well. In Shinto, the creation of heaven and earth is the most common starting point, but the Nihon Shoki actually has some even older…backstory would you call it?”
“Later mythologies can be surprisingly systematic with that kind of thing.”
Shifu wanted to point out they were the same there, but she decided against it. Tooru knew that already and those things could be used to subtly insult other mythologies, so it could be a pain.
Meanwhile, Senpai-chan continued.
“In Shinto, the world began as ‘chaos’, the pure things rose to the top and became heaven, and the impure things sank to the bottom and became the earth.”
“Starting with chaos is pretty common, but the division of pure and impure becoming the heaven and earth is fascinating. That makes the place the humans live in a heavy and filthy place. Was that meant to be cynical or masochistic?”
“Is that why you need to purify things?”
“Perhaps so,” said Senpai-chan. And…
“Something like reeds grew in the heaven and earth and they bore gods as fruit. But…”
“But?”
“Those gods just kind of existed and nothing they said or did is known. Their names do tell us what their roles were and we tried to at least give them virtual manifestations, but we ran into some trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“The original three gods of creation and the Kuni-Toko ones following them were ‘reserved’. Destiny or the ley lines or whatever had already decided what kind of beings they would be, so they couldn’t be given a virtual manifestation.”
<Oh, that. Sorry for interrupting, but during the Earth Age, there was a period when many different concepts joined together and collided. It seems some people interfered with the ley lines on a primitive level then. That turned those people into the gods of different mythologies and their presences are currently obstructing the manifestations within those mythologies.>
“Oh.”
“Oh.”
“Oh.”
“What is it, you three?”
“Well,” began Shifu.
“Our mythology had some gods that couldn’t be manifested because they were ‘reserved’ like that. We hadn’t realized Shinto had the same issue.”
“I-it’s trouble all around, isn’t it!?”
“Yeah, but we wouldn’t exist without that joining and collision.”
But there was more to say.
Senpai-chan and the Shinto group had to figure out the best way to prepare this field for their creation myth. Which meant…
“It’ll be the same as Shinto’s takeover of Japan, right? While terraforming the planet, you restrain the planet’s mold and spirits, purify that mold, and then worship it all, right?”
“Yes. We must act as Shinto creation gods by purifying this planet’s chaotic mold and then worshiping that mold as local gods. Then we will have it protect this planet as a guardian deity.”
What did that mean?
“Shinto is good at getting things to work out.”
Interlude[edit]
“Man, you are really good at getting things to work out first thing in the morning.”
“No, no, no, no! They didn’t work out at all!”
Chapter 15: Dangerous Seed[edit]
My careless statement
Shakes the world for several more statements
“Oh,” I said to express my understanding for the umpteenth time today.
“So after the terraforming, the Shinto rules will be used to take the beings or ‘molds’ that performed the ‘creation’ of this planet and remake them into the Shinto gods?”
Once the talking screen explained, I actually understood what Senpai had been saying.
I stared into the distance to view the planet.
“Does that mean there’s a plan for what to do about this planet in the future?”
“Yes. We know what to do about the creation part once Shinto has covered this planet.”
<How about we review some things real quick?>
When the screen said that, the area around us went dark.
“Ahh! I’m afraid of the dark, so I want to bury my face in someone’s chest! Senpai, you’ll do nicely!”
“Senpai technically refers to me as well.”
“Same for meee.”
“Wow is that not what I wanted! Can I get a redo using the other options we have on hand!?”
“And Sumeragi-chan is a human female right now, so I think that counts as some light sexual harassment.”
<Anyway, this is not just darkness. This is outer space.>
Once the screen said that, I could tell it was true. There were stars scattered in every direction, including overhead and below my feet, and there was an especially bright ball of light that seemed somehow closer.
“A great ball of fire!”
<Not quite. That is this star system’s star. In other words, its sun. …This is a virtual recreation of its coordinates from a while back. The margin of error should be less than 0.000001%. Far below what an ape could notice.>
They insulted me, but I was tolerant enough to let it slide.
“I’m not going to forget that. You’ll pay later, okay?”
<Just watch for a bit!>
●
I saw something start to happen. No, it had already happened.
Something like a band of light began to appear around the sun and it formed a vortex.
I had not noticed earlier because we happened to be in a thinner portion of it, but…
<How about we get a higher viewpoint?>
We were lifted up all at once.
And there I saw…
“Is that a glowing cotton candy maker in the center?”
“Sort of. We were shown the same thing when it was our time. I asked if it was that thing you get when you drop an egg into the center of a thoroughly mixed pot of stew.”
“The gas and dust in the empty lot of outer space will catch on each other and gather together until they finally form a vortex. The center of rotation gains a high level of gravity and the compressed gas and dust solidifies to form a star.”
“Oh,” I said while opening the book I held. Senpai had been carrying it in her butt pocket, so it still had some of her butt temperature. I of course had to hug it to my chest.
“Yeah, that’s the stuff…”
<What are you even talking about, moron? This is covering about a million years every second, so please pay attention.>
Another change occurred while we spoke.
The rotation of the sun in the center caused the vortex to disappear like fading fog. And in its place…
“The vortex is turning into a few large chunks that are absorbing the rest?”
<The central star continues to grow as it absorbs the dust and whatnot, but beyond the reach of its gravity, the dust and gas collide in the rotating vortex to form a few astronomical bodies known as planetesimals. From there, they continue to collide and gradually grow. That is the initial phase of each planet.>
I could see it happening.
The masses that would later become planets were forming in their orbits.
Those masses were growing.
“So these become the star system’s planets? The habitable planets, I mean?”
“Logically speaking, that will not happen.”
“Why? Is it just an issue of literally astronomical odds or something?”
“There is that, but as things are here, that cannot happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” said Raidou-senpai.
“It’s about their distance from the sun.”
●
“Are you familiar with the fable of the North Wind and the Sun?”
“I am! The north wind and the sun see who’s better at stripping someone walking below them! The north wind sucked at it and couldn’t get anywhere, but the sun had some skills and got those clothes off! But the person was a guy, so who cares!”
“I feel like that’s technically right, but also completely wrong.”
“The sun heated the atmosphere, forcing the person to remove their coat.”
“Yeah, I know! That’s why I crank my heat up to 32 degrees during the winter to practice acting comfortable like that so any girl I have over won’t question the temperature and end up taking off some of her clothes! I passed out from dehydration doing that last Christmas!”
“Sumeragi-kun, your power bill…”
“Not to worry, Senpai! During the winter, you can use the wall we share as a heater! Oh, but don’t press your ear against the wall! You might hear someone making weird noises! …Hold on, Kuwajiri, why are you staring at me like I’m utter filth!?”
“You can be incredible in the most meaningless ways sometimes…”
●
“But anyway,” said Raidou-senpai while waving a hand in front of me.
“The sun sends out heat, so the closer planets are cooked and their volatile gas is blown away. On the other hand, the farther planets are too cold and their gas freezes. Earth-style planets have to be at the sweet spot in the center so they aren’t cooked by the sun and still have some gas left over. Also…”
Also…
“The vortex generally isn’t dense enough for more than one planet to form in the same orbit. That’s why it’s pretty much impossible for several Earth-style planets to form.”
“How many was it here again?”
<When humanity left Earth, there were 6 habitable planets and 2 semi-habitable planets. Some were actually in the same orbit and some in slightly shifted orbits. There were also 6 uninhabitable planets outside those orbits.>
“That’s a ton…”
<Yes, and we believe there is a good chance this is how the star system was created.>
Just as I wondered what they meant, something like an artillery shell flew toward the central sun.
●
Shifu whistled at the image she had seen before.
“Whew, here comes Nemesis.”
This came from outside the star system. Most likely, the star of another system had exploded and a fragment of one of its planets had gained enough thrust to fly here.
It was considerably smaller than the star and the still-forming sun managed to absorb it, but…
“A few things came out the other side?”
<The star’s core was not yet stable, so the propagation of force managed to shake it. As the force exited the other side, it split into a few different pieces.>
The rest was simple. It was on a huge scale, but…
“Four pieces of the star flew out. They were all about the same size and they were caught by the vortex’s current as they cooled. They then collided with the forming planets, broke them, and ended up in a nearby orbit.”
●
I watched the reproduced footage and saw exactly that happening.
A few different planets ended up in similar orbits. Some of them even had moons thanks to the planetary collisions and self-destruction. However…
“Was that a coincidence?”
<It was a powerful enemy.>
Raidou-senpai nodded at that strange and unexpected answer.
“It’s a myth.”
Listen.
“Think of this as part of a mythology and tell us what happened, Sumeragi. Humanity created our myths, so you have the right to do so.”
●
Everyone was looking at me.
“Um…”
But before I could say anything, Kuwajiri raised her hand.
“Wait! Won’t his words create a definition!?”
What did that mean?
“A definition? Wait, do I have some kind of power? Come to think of it, I was wondering if I had some kind of latent power the other day and I wrote up some ideas about what it would be in my notebook. Was I right?”
“The other day? Not back in middle school?”
“I did that toooo! Yes! But it turrrrns out I have pretty much all of the powers already.”
Baldy was pretty great. But then Balancer tilted their head.
<Um, are you worried that if the ape describes the events here as a mythology, that will become the star system’s mythology?>
“Yes. Sumeragi might be utterly hopeless herself, but she is human. And she is the only human active in this star system. With so many gods here, the words of a human will define the mythology since that is something the gods cannot create.”
She took a breath before continuing.
“Isn’t it possible this idiot’s definition will establish that this star system has a leader-level god?”
<That will not be a problem.>
Balancer sounded confident.
“Eh!? You mean I don’t have a hidden 8th power!?”
<Oh, if only you did. Yes, if only.>
You could at least try to sound like you mean it!
But whatever this was about, the screen had more to say.
<Mythologies are made when the concept of the gods comes into being, their forms are described by their believers, and stories about them are created. But this moron is so focused on Senpai-san here that we do not need to worry about that.>
●
“Never mind then,” said Kuwajiri.
With her objection withdrawn, attention turned back toward me.
“Um,” I said while thinking back on what had happened. Meanwhile, Senpai discussed something with Balancer and then turned my way.
“Okay, Sumeragi-kun! We’ll put on a repeating playback of the footage Balancer showed you. So rewatch the star system form, the sun get kerpowed, the four pieces swoosh out, and everything harden up and use that to give us a mythological explanation!”
I wondered how Senpai knew that was going to happen, but Balancer had already divided the footage up into a few different screens lined up in chronological order.
I realized I just had to provide commentary on those.
And Kuwajiri’s earlier comment had led me to realize something, so I asked about it.
“What would happen if I described this star system’s mythology using Senpai as a base? Would she become the leader god of the star system?”
<You would only be describing the star system as if it were Senpai-san, so while her level would rise, it would be meaningless for the star system. The focus would be on her. And if you did describe the star system as if it was her while keeping the focus on the system…>
“Senpai is my god, so that won’t happen.”
●
“Ohh.”
“No, no, no, no, no, no. That’s just how Sumeragi-kun is.”
“How do girls manage to communicate in ultra-compressed language like that?”
●
For the time being, I took Senpai’s waving hands as encouragement and started speaking.
I described what I saw in each screen. First up was the complete darkness with no motion whatsoever. So…
“The world was darkness.”
All the space dust and stuff gathered to form the large vortex.
“Chaos was born from the darkness.”
The sun formed at the center of that, so…
“The sun was created from the chaos.”
Next, planets began to form in their orbits. But what were they? They were generally made from the same stuff as the sun, right? So…
“The sun gained many brothers and sisters.”
But this was where the story changed. An exterior fragment hit the sun.
“But one day, the sun…was shot?”
“Um…that’s a little too modern sounding. Why not say it accepted something from outside?”
Senpai was the best for giving an alternative when rejecting my idea! So that was what I went with.
“The sun married a planet from outside the system and had some children.”
Four fragments had come from the sun.
“The sun had four children.”
Those became habitable planets while they collided with and broke the planets that would have been the sun’s siblings.
So to describe that series of events…
“The sun’s siblings accepted the sun’s children. Those that accepted them became rich planets and those that did not were driven out and became frozen planets.”
That was it.
“That is this star system’s mythology.”
●
I looked back at the others.
I realized the replaying footage had vanished and we were surrounded by lava and land again.
But no one said a word. Even the talking screen had become just a screen after I finished my story. So…
“Um, did I screw something up? Did I, Senpai?”
“Eh? No, um, I think you did a good job!”
That was a relief. If Senpai thought I did a good job, then there was nothing to worry about. However…
“This is bad. Should I inform Omokane-senpai, Senpai-san?”
“Eh? Um, I’m not sure…”
What, what, what? Was there some further meaning to my poetic masterpiece?
“What I said doesn’t actually create this planet’s mythology, right?”
“Right. That isn’t going to happen. But…”
Raidou-Senpai looked to the others, exchanged nods and other forms of agreement, and then continued.
“This proves that this star system could have a mythology.”
●
“The DC is afraid of something. That would be why they sent inspectors at a time like this.”
Tenma looked up from the other side of the counter where she was reading Scarecrow’s suggested mystery novel with a 90s train schedule and a map of Japan. She had dragged a chair over to sit directly at the counter, but…
“The DC is afraid of something?”
“The DC is primarily made up of the gods from ancient mythologies. When discussing whether or not to use humans for the terraforming, they only agreed after weighing their pride against the possible benefit and choosing the latter, but they were still cautious. Well, they never said anything out loud, so perhaps I should say it seemed like they were still cautious.”
“What were they afraid of?”
“Yes, this might be difficult for you to understand, Tenma-kun. But you should have supplemented your knowledge enough by now. You were talking before about how women read books, but around a century after you died, women started doing something else, right?”
“Oh,” she realized.
What could you do with books other than read them? There was only one option.
“Writing them.”
“And what did women write?”
She knew this.
Before then, books had all contained academics, history, or records, but…
“Stories. About a hundred years after my time, the full-length novel was born in Japan.”
Exactly.
“Humans can create stories. Of course, gods can do that too. There are gods who create stories and there are gods who protect authors. But…”
“Only humans can create myths!”
●
“The creation of new myths would be a threat to the ancient gods who preserve their dignity by managing the terraforming!”
I spoke more loudly than necessary because I was excited to have found the answer. The air around me grew electrified and some memos appeared there. It was enough power for Scarecrow’s hair to gain a bit more volume. “Oops,” I said.
“S-sorry. Your hair is just so light, Scarecrow-senpai.”
“Tenma-kun, are you saying it’s too dry?”
“Well, yes, but isn’t that just how it is!?”
“Well, never mind that,” said my upperclassman while pushing up her glasses.
“They were worried about that possibility. They gave Sumeragi-kun a god as a partner because they wanted him to be a believer of a preexisting mythology. They hoped that would prevent him from creating a new mythology.”
“Then, um, was my guess wrong?”
“No, you were correct. You were wrong about what is gained from that, though.”
I considered it.
There was a human here.
But that human believed in the Shinto god currently known only as Senpai. That meant he could not create myths.
Then what would happen if he simply “told the story” of this star system’s unworshiped mythology?
…Let’s see…
I thought about it a bit more before arriving at an answer.
“It would prove the existence of a mythology. If a human like Sumeragi thinks of something as a myth, it might establish the existence of a myth there. In that case…it would highlight what this star system’s mold is.”
“And it would differ from what the gods like us think this star system’s mold is, right?”
“Yes. No matter how much we gods think about the molds of this star system and its planets – in other words, no matter how much we think up names and definitions for the unworshiped gods here – we will not create a myth here. We are only guessing.”
However…
“If a human thinks those same things, it is possible those things really do exist. Gods are created when their mold is established by the human belief that defines them. And the ‘truth’ that humanity was created by the gods is born from the gods who were created from the humans’ belief. …So the unworshiped mythology thought up by a human could give us a view of our enemies in the terraforming process. Instead of the guesses made by us gods who cannot create myths, these would be proper theories from the humans who can create myths.”
And what would that mean?
“This has given a clear form to our enemy. Or it can. …This is a big deal for the terraforming. If we can define our enemy, we will know the effects and targets of their Auth Spells and authorities! We can make much more educated guesses from now on!”
“Yes, the DC is afraid of this, but they also think they can gain further power if they can claim it for themselves. That is why they did not ban it outright. And we have not set up Sumeragi-kun to prevent him from doing it either. After all, humanity has never been ‘set up’ by the gods. Humanity must be free. …Free enough to come up with their own myths anyway.”
So…
“The inspectors are coming now. They will use the delays in the terraforming as an excuse to take control of our human to put him to better use. But in truth, they want control over Sumeragi-kun now that he knows enough to invent myths.”
Interlude[edit]
“How long are we going to stay here in the library?”
“Omokane-san still hasn’t come back, so how about we leave without her?”
Chapter 16: Heavy Unit[edit]
What does weight matter?
Being lightweight is more valuable
I had told a myth.
The talking screen explained to us what that meant.
<So do you understand now?>
“Wow! That’s a convenient way to abridge that!”
<Pipe down. But in a way, this is very bad.>
“What’s so bad about me telling a myth?”
<Well, you see,> began Balancer.
<To be honest, given how dumb you are, I was expecting your attempt to tell a myth to end with you saying “Hmm, I’ve got nothing! Senpai, can I feel your boobs?”>
“A-are you making fun of me!? I mean, I’d love to feel Senpai’s boobs, but I can’t touch my target of worship that easily! That requires more than the traditional ‘two bows, two claps, one bow’ method! You need the ‘two boobs, two claps, two boobs’ method! Get it!? That’s how you show the proper respect!”
“Senpai-chan, what did you do to Sumeragi-chan?”
“N-n-n-n-nothing yet!”
“…Yet?”
●
<Anyway,> said Balancer.
<This means this star system can be made into a mythology when viewed by humans.>
“That means it has a mold, right?”
Exactly. A mold was a type of pattern but also a collection of things. If you could make a direct comparison to something else when viewing a phenomenon, then it had a mold in the form of a phase. So in this case…
<This star system possesses the pattern of a mythology. Before, we only had the guesses made by us AIs and you gods, but now we have proof from a myth-creating human.>
“Eh!? I’m not sure what you mean, but does that mean I’m important!? C’mon, Balancer, show me some respect for once. C’mon, get to it. Heh heh.”
“To be clear, this makes you even more of a pain in the rear than your average god of pestilence or death god.”
“What do you mean?”
“With you around, we can tell what we need to do to fight our enemy and we know what part of our library to use. …But with you around, we can’t ignore the fact that we have an enemy.”
“I’m still not sure what you mean, but doesn’t that second part make you gods sound pretty pathetic?”
<Sometimes, an inconvenient truth can obstruct things that were already dealt with politically.>
“For example, the weaker mythologies are hopeless in combat, but with an enemy to deal with, a whole bunch of combat preparations are kaslammed down in front of us despite how terrible at it we might be.”
Now that she had relaxed, Senpai-san’s explanations were much less clear. But she was still right.
<The weaker and more minor mythologies will sometimes have gods with special authorities and the more powerful mythologies will protect them so they can borrow that power. The DC started out as a group meant to provide that sort of protection, but that means your proof of our enemy’s existence makes you both a nuisance and a powerful political tool. …Whether or not you prove we have an enemy will determine whether or not the weaker and more minor mythologies have to pay the cost of combat. And if the DC gets their hands on you, they would gain more influence over the less combat-oriented mythologies.>
“Oh, so that’s it,” said the idiot with a tilt of her head, but Balancer did not trust for a second that she really understood. Then the ape tilted her head even further and asked a question.
“So why am I the only human?”
●
That part confused me. I had been jumping for joy that I got Senpai all to myself, but based on what I had heard, it sounded like the humans were getting a pretty raw deal. But…
“Couldn’t those bigshot gods get their own humans like me?”
<Well…>
The screen was hesitant to answer.
They glanced over at the others and Raidou-senpai nodded.
“We probably have to tell her before long anyway, so how about it?”
He directed that question at Senpai who turned toward me and spoke.
“I-I am in charge of Sumeragi-kun, so I will make the decision!”
“Okay! Then please tell me!”
I got down on the ground with my limbs spread out and then lifted my legs with my hands. I held the back of my knees to contort myself into an uncomfortable spread-legged pose.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!”
Kuwajiri kicked a rock that hit me right in the crotch.
“Ow! Hey, Kuwajiri! What if I lost some important stuff to that!?”
“I’ll reset it all when you’re resurrected and rolled back. There is still a lot of time left today.”
“What’s that supposed to mean!? Is it a poem!? There is still a lot of time left today~♪ Wait…”
I realized something as I spoke. Or rather, I remembered it.
Yes. I had been wondering about something.
I had died before.
I had definitely died.
“Why am I alive? Am I a kind of ikizukuri or something!?”
“Ikizukuri is going to die in the very near future, you know?”
Is she trying to pick a fight with me!?
●
“Hmm?”
I had a question. Or did I? Was it a question or a memory? It was strange, like I had this weird memory that I couldn’t fully remember but couldn’t forget either.
It was like it had happened to someone else, but I definitely had a memory of dying.
What was that about?
And not just once or twice.
I had died in this very location before. More than once. I was pretty sure of that. What was the most recent one? I was pretty sure it involved looking up at Senpai’s underwear. Wait, did I die while we were doing it!? And with Senpai on top!? No, wait. We couldn’t have gone that far if she still had her underwear on! Plus, I’m a girl.
“Um, can I ask a question?”
“Oh, yes! What is it!? Ask away!”
“Am I a zombie?”
“…”
“Um,” said Senpai while choosing her words carefully.
“Zombies are from Voodoo and I’m Shinto, so I think this is different… Also, a big rock was thudded down in front of the entrance to Yomi, so I don’t think you could be one of the dead from there either.”
“I’m a little impressed you gave that a much more serious response than I was expecting.”
But that did not really answer my question. “Um,” I began as I asked another question.
“Have I died before?”
“Kind of yes and kind of no?”
“Wait, which is it?”
Senpai looked up in the air in thought before answering.
“No-yes?”
●
“Which is that?”
“I think that comes out to a no, grammatically speaking.”
“Sounds more like a middle of the road response to me.”
“Very high level.”
●
“Hmm,” I thought.
I remembered dying, yet here I was. Which meant…
“I came back to life?”
That had to be it. But I still had a question.
“Who brought me back to life?”
“Oh, um, it wasn’t me. I don’t have that authority.”
I tilted my head and Shifu-senpai raised her hand. I looked over, thinking she was going to give the answer, but she instead gave a toothy grin and spoke to Senpai.
“Senpai-chan, you can tell her.”
“Oh, yes. Then, um, Sumeragi-kun.”
“Yes! What is it!?”
“You’ve died 12 times already.”
“That’s a lot.”
I was kind of surprised, but it sounded like I had been given a bunch of extra lives. The max was usually 5, but I may have shoved a bunch of coins into the machine. However…
“You’re not…shocked? No ‘whoa!’ or ‘for real!?’ for that? I mean finding out you died is kind of a big deal.”
“Well, it doesn’t sound very real to me and I already had the memory. Also…”
It really came down to this.
“I was brought back to life, so it doesn’t seem like a problem.”
“Oh…”
“What’s that ‘oh’ for?”
“Well, um,” she stammered before finally responding.
“The thing is, this resurrection was the first time you were a girl.”
“…”
“I was a boy before?”
“Y-yes, you were. You were always a boy before, but you ended up being a girl this time for some reason.”
“For real!? Um, just a second, Senpai! I’m going to be stepping away for a moment! All of you stay here!”
●
Shifu watched Sumeragi run into the stone hut.
What is she doing now? she wondered until hearing Sumeragi’s voice from the stone hut.
“Whoa! So this is what it’s like! This is my first time seeing it, I guess! Wow! I guess I’d better start learning about my body! Wouldn’t want to lower the cliteracy rate!”
After a moment of hesitation, Shifu turned to Kuwajiri.
“Kuwajiri-chan, I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to summon meteor strikes once you level up, so keep working at it.”
“It would be faster to learn an Auth Spell that mutes everything that idiot says.”
Meanwhile, the idiot ran out while lifting up her skirt.
“Sorry about that, Senpai! I just needed a quick hands-on lesson!”
“…I really wish you would die.”
Wouldn’t that just mean more work for you, Kuwajiri-chan?
●
I decided to sit still and listen to what Senpai had to say.
“You were resurrected by the gods of other mythologies who came here to help us Shinto gods. Most notably, the Norse gods here.”
“Oh, thanks for that. But then I have a question. I get that I’m apparently important enough to be resurrected, but then why don’t those bigshots get their own humans like me? Wouldn’t that solve everything?”
Senpai gasped at my question.
After a moment, she placed her hands on my shoulders.
…Senpai, this is too much for me.
“Ohh, this angle is incredible!”
“Did you just say the quiet part loud?”
“No fair pointing that out!”
But I realized that Senpai was bending over a bit to put herself at my eye level. She also grabbed my shoulders, preventing me from running away from the giant boobs in front of me. Damn, talk about a booby trap. I couldn’t take my eyes off of those things transforming in real time while squished between her arms!
“Um, Sumeragi-kun? My eyes are up here.”
“Oh, uh, sorry. I’m shy, so I have trouble looking people in the eye! Kyah, I said it! Just kidding!”
“That’s just creepy…”
“She’s definitely staring at Senpai-chan’s boobs.”
“A-again, no fair pointing that out!”
Then I looked Senpai in the eye.
Her black eyes were so pretty when damp with water…no, with Senpai juice.
And she spoke.
“The thing is, Sumeragi-kun, you are human.”
But…
“You are not a human born on earth. The gods created you here on this planet.”
●
Hm? was my response.
Senpai wouldn’t lie to me and I wouldn’t doubt her. We didn’t have any kind of agreement about that and I had only really known her for the one day, but I was sure I could trust her. However…
“I don’t think that’s quite what I was told before.”
“Hmm… This was the Big One out of the things we weren’t sure we should tell you.”
We groaned at each other in thought for a bit, but my thoughts came down to this:
“What’s the point of this?”
I wanted a reason. I didn’t get why they would do this.
“Why did you need to make me? Or make a human, I guess I mean. You brought a bunch of humans from earth, right? And they’re all asleep to preserve them, right? Couldn’t you have woken up one of them? Why go to the trouble of creating me as a new one?”
“Well…I’m not sure I’m allowed to tell you that much.”
<That would be my job, so I will start with some information you need to know.>
●
Balancer explained while glad they could finally talk about all of this.
<The terraforming is dangerous, so I and the other AIs discussed it and…well, a lot happened and we ended up unable to use the earth-born humans for the terraforming.>
“Ended up unable?”
<Due to a variety of agreements and decisions. The earth-born humans cannot be woken or sent out until the terraforming is complete. But…>
But they had managed this.
<There was a time on earth when several different sets of physical laws had yet to combine. We decided that period was safe, so we studied it and gathered data on the humans who lived during that time. In other words, data on humans uninfluenced by the concepts behind those alternate physical laws. We decided that would create a level playing field for every mythology during the terraforming. And we successfully created a mold out of the data we collected.>
Balancer was interrupted before they could add a “but”.
“That’s where we come in.”
Raidou pointed at the others.
“We had already started our terraforming, but we were hitting some limits in places. No matter how high our basic specs, there was only so far we could go with only gods around. So we wanted worshipers. And, well, that’s why we decided to get us a human.”
“Right. So, Sumeragi-chan, your basic mold was prepared by Balancer, but it was us Shinto-allied gods who actually created you as a person.”
So…
“If you want to lash out at someone about this, you should direct your anger at us first. We’re the ones who created you and then repeatedly killed and resurrected you.”
●
The idiot prostrated on the ground. Except on her back and fully stretched out.
Kuwajiri saw her make a spinning slide to dive down at her feet.
Eh? she thought. Me? But the idiot…
“Oh, sorry, Kuwajiri. Not you. But from this low angle, I can see why you’ve got the character for ‘butt’ in your name. Still, though, this wasn’t for you. Sorry.”
“I really, really wish you would die.”
But the idiot shifted her angle to point her head toward Shifu.
“Thank you so much!”
“Can I step on you?”
“Ahh! I would love that! The low angle view past your leg is to die for!”
Kuwajiri hit her by kicking a rock from the side.
“What is this about?”
“Y-you think you’re free to do anything you want to me, don’t you!? But that just gives me more tolerance points, so you’re actually a good person, aren’t you!?”
What is she even talking about? Am I the crazy one here? But…
“Thank you so, so much!”
“For what?”
“Just think about it, Raidou-senpai! What if I really did live in 90s Japan!? And what if Senpai and the rest of you weren’t there!?”
Kuwajiri decided to hear him out.
“I’d just be a high school student who played arcade games at the Tachikawa Daiichi Department Store and the Tachikawa Oslo before heading home and playing porn games on my PC98!”
“Aren’t you writing yourself off too quickly there?”
“No, I know myself! My personality is a complete dumpster fire, I say tons of things I really shouldn’t, and I seek out erotic and sexual things like an ape!”
<I am constantly wondering if the human data we gathered was faulty somehow.>
Kuwajiri had to agree, but the idiot had more to say.
“The terraforming is a ton of work!? I’ll die over and over? I’ll lose my memories? Who cares? You can resurrect me when I die, I have you upperclassmen from other mythologies, and…”
Oh, so that’s it, realized Kuwajiri.
This was why Senpai-san cared so much for this idiot.
“As long as I can work hard alongside a god like Senpai, nothing else matters!”
●
It felt like I had stumbled onto a really good sale on happiness today.
“Wow…”
The real problem was how he (well, she) thought that was perfectly normal. And that meant so very much to me since I was being treated as nameless for a number of reasons. On the other hand…
…I don’t want Sumeragi-kun to die.
He was important to me. He was dumb, he was a created person, and he likely did not realize the hardship this would bring, but…
…He says he will stay by my side.
But would he?
Would he stay by my side once he learned my real identity?
That was my one concern.
It was a great fear that eclipsed all else. But for the moment…
“This is awful. She’s so dumb she doesn’t realize how much of a nuisance she is.”
But…
“The absolute worst part is how understanding she is.”
●
I stood up and walked over to Senpai. And…
“Yet again, thank you so much. You all have been doing a lot of work I wasn’t aware of, but that just shows how important this all is, right?”
“Well, um, uh…”
Oh, I realized.
“When you moved in next door this morning, was that a setup?”
“Don’t ask about that! Please don’t ask about that!”
Senpai was super cute. I couldn’t stand it. I knew I had my work cut out for me that night. Oh, but I was a girl. Well, that just meant I had to practice the ideal finger movement!
With that plan in mind, I asked a question.
I had to confirm something while returning to an earlier topic.
“Then, uh, the bigshot gods can’t get a human like me because…?”
“First of all, they need the mold used to create a human like you, but Balancer is keeping that data a secret.”
Senpai explained for me.
“And second, those ‘bigshot’ gods are generally gods who cannot create humans.”
●
“Hm?” I said with a tilt of the head.
“I thought creating people was what gods did.”
“To be blunt, a lot of mythologies never really make it clear when humans were created or by who. It’s generally decided later on who it must have been.”
“Eh? Really?”
“It’s really an issue of who created the myths.”
“They were created by humans like me, right?”
“No, no. I don’t mean it like that. …What kind of people created the official version of the myths?”
“That’d have to be someone important.”
It hit me as I answered.
“The king! Or just leaders in general!”
“Yes. And a ruler will want to control the image of the gods known across their territory. In ancient times, gods were generally nature gods that were created from natural molds. And from there, it goes like this:
- The ruler creates a list of the forms of nature, various elements, and already worshiped gods in their territory.
- ↓
- Those are given a divine image and deified.
- ↓
- Myths are created to show those gods controlling the forms of nature and various elements in the ruler’s territory.
Do you know what happens next?”
I tilted my head at Kuwajiri’s question.
“By telling those myths, they can show off that they’re an important person who knows all the myths of those gods?”
“Not quite. That would make them a priest that serves a god, but we are talking about a king. …Simply knowing the stories isn’t enough. They need to take it a step further. So what do they do? What further connection will the king have to the gods?”
“Best buds?”
“Almost there!”
“In that case,” I began.
“Lovers?”
“C-close but not quite!”
She seemed really worked up by that one, but I kind of understood now.
“Family?”
“Yes. The king creates the myths and the priest spreads them, but the king has one privilege the priest does not.”
Which was…
“The king is descended from the gods. They are part-god, part-human.”
●
“That’s known as a theocracy or ‘emperor by the grace of god’, but the purest form of that is for the mythology to approve of the king’s rule and for the king to be descended from the gods. The later form of this is known as the divine right of kings and you’re probably learning about that in world history about now.”
“Oh, yeah. We talked about Charlemagne in world history at the end of the last term and they did mention that!”
“Anyway,” said Shifu.
“With that, the mythology exists for the king. In those mythologies, how the king came to be is crucial, but how everyone else came to be can be ignored altogether. In some cases, including an origin for them is actually inconvenient.”
●
“I see,” I said before Senpai smiled and spoke.
“Shinto says that the first humans were descendants of Amaterasu. They were a separate category known as Arahitogami because they had divine blood after having children with the Earthly Gods. But the stories also depict there being a lot of humans before that, so it’s kind of unclear.”
“Wait, so were they the first or not?”
“W-well, you can just think of it as the divine descendants and the ordinary people having different roots. Also, the Earthly Gods were gods of different regions in Japan, so the people born in those regions were children of those gods. And that’s where the system of worshiping at a local shrine comes from.”
“Well, that gives them divine roots as descendants of both the Heavenly Gods and the Earthly Gods. A lot of Shinto is about politically working things out and its myths often look like something someone thought up as the best way to accomplish that, but you can also view that as a form of optimization. Instead of just the leaders, the ordinary people were also children of the gods of the land they lived in. But since we do not know what things were like back then, it is not our place to judge whether or not that was a way to save face. …Anyway, that more systemized format is a unique trait of later mythologies.”
She starts speaking really fast when talking about mythology, I realized while stating the conclusion I had reached.
“So the bigshot gods are bound by their king-oriented mythologies, so they would have trouble creating a normal person like me?”
“That’s right. Creating a myth required the use of language and the means of conveying those stories. In ancient times, those things were a privilege that the ordinary people did not have, so all the divine myths were about giving authority to the king.”
Raidou-senpai explained.
“Creating a pure ‘human’ who is not a god or a descendent of one is quite difficult. And the gods who can create you all came here to help out Shinto. The other gods might have a lot of power, but they’ll have a hard time creating a human due to the data they lack.”
●
“Okay, we’ve made a lot of progress in this discussion. Sumeragi, do you more or less understand the situation now?”
Raidou said that and looked forward.
A sea of lava awaited them there.
“The mythology you came up with for this star system should help us negotiate with the inspectors. But for now, let’s continue with the terraforming. It would help even more to have some real results to show off.”
Chapter 17: SimEarth 04[edit]
Round and round it goes
Often in unnecessary directions
“Okay, Sumeragi-kun. The other gods have agreed to help, so how do you want to do things now?”
I considered Senpai’s question.
She was referring to the terraforming.
We had to make the planet’s environment habitable for humans in the end.
But this star system and planet had molds that rejected us. Because there were no myths about this place, there was something like the formless “original divine molds” here and those were our enemy.
“Hey, screen. Was what you showed us a summary of how this star system was formed leading up to now?”
<Yes. That was the small-scale division of the star and the creation of habitable planets in similar orbits. That altered the position and orbit of the star system as a whole, but it will stabilize in about 300 million years. There have also been orbital changes from the alterations we have made to the planets’ movement and composition, but you can think of that as what happens when the star system’s mythology is altered via the molds.>
This was the same as the previous conclusion.
<This star system’s mythology has the star as the mother and the sibling planets having control mostly taken away by the mother’s children. …So most of the planets will oppose us while viewing that mother as their leader.>
“But thankfully, the few planets we’re interested in have an orbit that gives them a habitable environment, so we don’t have to worry about changing their orbit, right?”
That left one question on my mind.
“Senpai, is this planet rotating?”
●
This made me feel a little happy as an upperclassman.
“Well done noticing that, Sumeragi-kun.”
I praised her and felt a little proud myself. This meant Sumeragi was a partner capable of coming up with ideas and noticing things herself and I was her upperclassman and partner.
But as for everyone behind me…
“Sure tooook her a while to notice thaaaat.”
“I’m glad I don’t have to praise someone for being that stupid.”
“I honestly thought she was never going to notice. Sorry for underestimating you.”
“Moving ahead without altering the rotation would’ve been interesting, though!”
“Okay, can we not be so mean!?”
This was tricky, but they had the higher divine ranks. I wasn’t sure if I could talk back to them, but I was in charge of Sumeragi, so I decided to do my best. That said, what was I supposed to do?
<I mentioned that the planet had destroyed and stopped itself during the terraforming and that is what led to its current state. The rotation was also stopped as part of that. …Thinking back, it probably did not stop its revolution around the star because that could lead to collisions with the other planets and “they” did not want that much destruction.>
“It’s like a venomous animal spewing its toxin to say ‘stay back’.”
“Yeah, you can’t let your guard down about that, Tooru.”
“Sumeragi? Do you understand? This planet does not want to rotate and you have to do something about it.”
“That means it isn’t going to move easily. So what will you do, Sumeragi-kun?”
When asked what she would do, she turned toward me.
“Senpai, can you get it moving?”
●
I decided to give Sumeragi’s question a proper response.
“I can’t right now, but I will be able to in the future. At the moment, I only have a small territory on this planet, but if I expand that to the point that I can control the planet, I should be able to control its rotation.”
Most gods were bound by the same conditions. That was why they increased their level and their divine rank. Even the puniest god had a chance. That was what made it worth doing.
However…
“If you take too long, the bigshot gods come to complain, right? So you outsource that to the gods who can do that stuff and reclaim your rights afterwards.”
“Have your memories returned?”
She (or he?) paused and then tilted her head.
“I don’t remember anything like that, but I can make some guesses. Oh, but does that mean there’s precedent for how I’m thinking about your boobs right now!? Incredible!”
“I’m pretty sure that’s just who you are as a person.”
“Hey, stop interrupting! I was going to use that to have her let me praise them at close range! Give back my opportunity! Give it back!”
“Okay, I got that out of my system.”
“That was fast! And are you okay? Are you sure you didn’t forget to put something in between there?”
Sumeragi tried to put her hand in between her breasts but it would not fit.
“Dammit! And when you gave me the perfect setup too! I’m so useless!!!!”
“D-don’t worry, Sumeragi-kun. It’s the thought that counts!”
“Only if we’re going to take a really spiritual view of things…”
“W-we’re gods, aren’t we!? Aren’t we!?”
Kuwajiri-san could be quite strict.
●
I felt like we needed to hurry this along. Oh, but any delays caused by me saying too much didn’t count. I had to mentally prepare myself after all. If someone suddenly put a nice pair of titties in front of you and told you to grope them, could you just do it!? Wouldn’t you assume it had to be some kind of crime or setup or something!? I’d still do it, though. No matter what happened afterwards, that grope could never be taken away from me. And no matter what happened afterwards, I knew how to play the victim. Yes, and to prepare, I needed to practice the ideal finger movements.
<Um, stupid? Why are you muttering to yourself and groping the air while staring at me?>
“Huh!? Who are you calling stupid!? Do you really think I’d ever ‘stoop’ to using my ‘id’!?”
<I have the common psychological concepts of the Divine World’s time period installed to help make it more realistic, so I can say confidently that you function almost entirely on id.>
“Ahhhh! This AI knows more about being stupid than me!”
“Upset about it?”
“Not at all. Anyway, Senpai, I need to study up on psychology so this dumb AI doesn’t know more than me.”
“Eh? Oh, um, you want to study? We can do that later. Sure.”
I expressed my joy by jumping around and running in a 100m-radius circle. And…
“How about that, Balancer!? Jealous!?”
<Sure, sure. Now can we please get on with the terraforming?>
“You are jealous! I can see it on your face! Um, so what am I supposed to do!?”
“Don’t shout. Rotate.”
That sounded like some kind of motto, but the blatantly scornful look on Kuwajiri’s face told me not to say so out loud. Yes, I was all about not rocking the boat. …Occasionally.
“So we need to outsource the rotation, but who can do that for us?”
●
After I asked that, Raidou-senpai gestured toward Yomoji-senpai.
“Planetary movement generally goes to Yomoji. In fact, he’s the only god of any mythology that can safely do the rotation at this stage.”
“Well, therrre is a problem for meee too.”
“The problem isn’t with Yomoji-chan himself, so don’t worry.”
This was apparently tricky. But…
“What does that mean?”
<If the world-creation myth has the god do something that can be interpreted as planetary rotation or if that is later accepted as part of the god’s job, then that god or the gods of that mythology can control planetary rotation as part of their authority.>
“Planetary rotation in a myth?”
Hm? I wondered.
“How many of these myths were made after they knew the earth revolved around the sun?”
“I’m impressed, Sumeragi. The absolute bare minimum of world history knowledge remains in your brain.”
“Yesss, that is one hell of a compliment! A compliment about knowledge from Kuwajiri is the best! Oh? What’s this, Kuwajiri-kun? Is that a ‘I am going to kill her’ look you’re giving me, hmmmm?”
<Her skill at provocation is next to none, so I would be careful with sarcasm if I were you.>
You got that right. I haven’t spent life as a small fry without learning a thing or two!
But Shifu-senpai laughed a little.
“It’s true the rotation would be pretty much impossible for us.”
“Yeah, for us, the sun and moon are chasing after each other in a rather negative way where the world tree took root.”
“If only Jormungand was spinning the world for us…”
It was apparently time for the Norse group to complain. But…
“So Yomoji-senpai can do the rotation?”
I was pretty sure there was a story that worked against that. Y’know, that one. Um…
“Galileo, was it? Um, that whole thing with the earth revolving around the sun. Yomoji-senpai’s thugs or whoever were against that, weren’t they?”
<Are they a gang or something?>
“No, no,” said Yomoji while waving his hands side to side.
“That one was a realllly bad move. I don’t like rejectinnng more developed ideaaas. You need to be more flexible.”
But…
“Myyy people actually took that one baaack in 1992, so it’s accepted nowww. That means the heliocentric theory is under my controlll now.”
“For realsies!?”
Oh, I realized.
“It’s 1990 right now, isn’t it?”
<It is actually past 3000 CE, idiot. But…>
“Do you get it? It’s about politics.”
“…”
“What is it, Sumeragi-kun?”
“Oh, um, that line sounded familiar.”
“––––––”
Yes, I remembered it.
I had never heard it before, but I hadn’t forgotten it. That meant I just had to speak the thought that had popped into my mind.
“Some people had this world set before ’92 so Yomoji-senpai wouldn’t be given too much authority, right?”
And…
“There are a lot of things like that and if the terraforming gets delayed, then (for example) Yomoji-senpai can do the rotation without worrying about all that. And that’s a problem for some gods and a plus for others!”
●
<That is correct. I doubt you would understand if we explained everything to you at once, so how about you start with the terraforming? If anything you do would be a problem, we will respond appropriately. We will do what we can to prevent that and even act in your stead if necessary. …That is what this means.>
“I see,” I said with a nod. But…
…Huh?
“Um, Senpai? Can I ask something?”
“Yes, what is it?”
“I get now why Yomoji-senpai can do the rotation. But why would Shinto be able to do it? Isn’t Shinto mythology fairly old?”
“Oh, I’d like to know that too. How does that work?”
Everyone was really interested in this. Although Kuwajiri must have already known because she simply placed a hand on her chin. Senpai blushed a little as everyone’s eyes gathered on her.
“Um, there is a bit of a theory about Shinto mythology.”
She went on to explain.
“This world was created out of chaos…um, and the world in this context is not the entire universe. It means the stage on which people live. It’s usually interpreted as a planet or a country. …Now, that world was created when the divine couple of Izanagi and Izanami worked together and used a spear to stir up the white stew of chaos.”
And…
“That stirring created some islands and that is how the country was created according to Shinto.”
“So that stirring is interpreted as the planet’s rotation? That is a bit of a stretch, but it is definitely an act of the gods. The divine couple rotated the world to create the land there…and you have defined that as the planet’s rotation.”
“Also, the Shinto sun goddess of Amaterasu Okami does not move across the sky everyday like you would expect with the geocentric theory. Instead, she remains in the world of the gods, which is known as Takamagahara, where she acts as the center of politics, so that is interpreted as a rejection of the geocentric theory and an indication of the heliocentric theory.”
“Who let those super forced interpretations go through?”
●
Tenma spoke at the library counter while reading the book and gradually figuring out how to flip through the train schedule.
“Omokane-senpai really seems to be a step ahead of us, but how did that happen?”
“To be blunt, Amaterasu Okami is indebted to her, as are the other gods, so she can do pretty much whatever she wants.”
●
“But that’s the thing,” I heard Shifu-senpai say.
“Shinto is a later mythology, so it’s not really fair.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is all the result of coincidence and forced explanations!”
“And they stuck a spear into a white stew and stirred it up to create a country? Sounds pretty dirty to me.”
“No, no! It’s symbolism! Not a euphemism! Symbolism!”
I should remember this, I decided.
But then Kuwajiri raised her hand.
“By the way, the heliocentric theory did exist well into the past.”
“It did?”
“Yes. Similar concepts could be seen in different parts of the world even in BCE times. It’s one of the ways of thinking that developed when people observed the astronomical bodies. In Europe, Aristarchus of Greece proposed it at around 200 BCE and the idea was established at around 400 BCE in China. …Although in China’s case, they only had the general concepts of ‘heaven’ and ‘earth’, so they weren’t talking about astronomical bodies. And in CE times, Middle Eastern astronomers realized it at around the 7th Century, but it didn’t spread far since it didn’t mesh well with Islam’s teachings.”
“Another case where myths like ours just get in everyone’s way.”
“Perrrsonally, I don’t care eitherrr way.”
“But don’t those things eventually get reverse-imported into the myths like with Yomoji-senpai?”
“The heliocentric theory was spread by the Jesuits, so that would be the…15th or 16th Century? That puts it past when the myths came about, so the later mythologies don’t even have that in them. And with the existing myths, there was no real need to incorporate the heliocentric theory into them. In fact, it was best to avoid that since it might conflict with their teachings. …At times like that, they tend to take a divided view where the teachings determine the extent of the gods’ abilities and the scientists determine how things actually work. But…”
“That makes the myths and the gods something separate from the human world, doesn’t it? They’re a little too good at segregating us away, aren’t they?”
“And that is why myyy advantage shines so bright.”
●
It seemed to me like the authority deck was stacked too heavily in certain gods’ favor.
Yomoji-senpai was probably well outside the norm. He was blatantly OP.
And he also had the ability to, uh, “create” humans like me in his myths, so…
“The authority is all focused on certain gods, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, that’s why we use politics and other dirty tricks to get around that.”
Come to think of it, this whole outsourcing thing was an example of that.
<But what should we do about the angle and speed of rotation?>
“Can you make it rotate 120 times a second?”
“Going the house or techno route, huh?”
“It’d be hilarious if there were eruptions and lightning strikes giving it a nice booming beat to go with it.”
“Pff…”
Imagining that seemed to tickle Senpai’s funny bone, so she was out of commission for a bit. But…
“Is it bad to make the speed rise and fall?”
“How fast do you think it is rotating right now?”
“About 35km/h?”
“In 1990 terms, the earth is rotating at 1674km/h on the equator.”
“Man, we’re zooming along!”
“Oh? But it’s slowed quite a bit. The speed drops by 8km/h every 10 million years.”
<The balance between the moon and the ocean water on the earth’s surface acts as a stopper. When the earth was formed 4.6 billion years ago, it was rotating fast enough for a day to be 5 hours long. …Now, if you did want to make it faster, the earth’s gravitational pull and centrifugal force enter equilibrium when the speed surpasses 25,000km/h at the equator. That is approximately 15 times 1674km/h, so a single rotation would take a little over 90 minutes.>
“Is that at all relevant for the terraforming?”
“With a faster rotation speed, the lighter gasses in the atmosphere are flung out into space. If you could control that well, you could create a planet with only the gasses you wanted. …In fact, the original earth’s speedy rotation tossed out the unnecessary gasses to create the environment it later had.”
To sum up, a fast rotation had its uses.
●
When Sumeragi started to think, Raidou spoke to Kuwajiri.
“Kuwajiri.”
“Yes?”
“Sumeragi doesn’t tease you when you’re explaining things for her.”
“…”
“That does not change my opinion of her.”
That was fine, so he patted her on the shoulder and said one last thing.
“There’s a lot we couldn’t manage without you. You’re doing a good job.”
●
There really are a lot of possibilities out there, I thought. So…
“Any other reasons why a fast rotation would be good?”
“I would really prefer not to say it, but politics.”
“Politics? How so?”
“Well,” said Senpai.
“If the rotation is sped up to a 90-minute day with the gravitational pull and centrifugal force in equilibrium at the equator, the natural environment would be a complete mess. But if gods like us terraform it and create phases and molds, I think we could create areas that would remain safe even without us. In that case, the planet would be habitable and reaching satellite orbit would be quite easy. I mean, you could ignore the pull of gravity at the equator.”
“Oh, so it would be a ridiculous terraforming that showed the later humans that they could use that planet for resources.”
“More than resources, you could also make a resort out of the natural environment. You could also dock spaceships and whatnot without using much fuel going in and out of orbit.”
“So your imagination’s the limit…”
“With a god creating phases and molds to support you, you really can have pretty much anything you imagine. Of course, the bigger things would need to be outsourced.”
“Hmm, but, um…isn’t this planet’s composition almost identical to earth’s?”
<The volume is extremely similar. The mass is not an issue either, so it can be used to create an environment almost identical to earth’s.>
“Then,” I said.
“I think that’s a good enough answer as to what would happen if Senpai and I worked on terraforming this planet and didn’t ask for any outsourcing.”
●
Even I understood some of this.
“If Senpai and I just kept working at it, we could create the land, the sea, and the mountains together. We could do pretty well on the surface.”
But…
“But if we sped up the rotation, that surface might break. I mean, we’re imagining a world like the Divine World which is based off of 90s earth, so…”
“You want the same rotation speed as the 90s earth?”
“Yes. The 90s, or the earth from that period, is what I want to create with you and where I want to be with you afterwards.”
How would that work? My thoughts here were kind of complicated. After all…
“That Divine World is only based on the 90s, so I don’t really know that era. I mean, I’m a created being. But…”
I decided to say it.
If that was all I knew, then that was fine with me. And…
…If that 90s world is where Senpai is, then that’s fine with me too.
That was more than enough, so I started to say so.
“–––––”
But Senpai pulled me close and hugged me.
●
“Ohh,” gasped Shifu.
This was sudden.
Without warning, Senpai-chan hugged Sumeragi. She went at it pretty forcefully, so a certain thought came to mind on reflex.
…She’s eating her!!
But that was not what this was. This is one way of expressing herself.
Yeah, that’s right.
This is the right way of doing it, she thought.
“What is this about?”
“I’m don’t know the details, but Senpai-chan was an estranged god. She may have been removed from the main lineup for some reason. She is still worshiped, but only as a family member, I guess? If not for that, I think she would have been an unworshiped god.”
But…
“Then Sumeragi-chan found her and said they could work together.”
And…
“Sumeragi-chan is a created being and most of her memories and everything are preinstalled lies. Since she’s a human, she truly is all alone. She just became aware of that. She’s saying a lot of stuff, but she knows she doesn’t really have anything of her own. …Only Senpai-chan really understands how that feels, so she wants to show Sumeragi-chan that she has a partner who will work with her.”
“…”
Kuwajiri said nothing. It could always be doubtful whether or not she understood everything.
But Shifu hoped it had gotten through to her.
Because Kuwajiri was also a being created by the gods.
“…Ridiculous.”
“Right?”
“You aren’t going to deny it?”
“Why would I?” she said with a smile.
“Hugging someone and holding them close isn’t very efficient. It uses up both hands, narrows your field of vision, and keeps you from moving.”
But…
“That kind of ridiculous stuff is the best.”
●
“I really, really want to run away right now.”
“You’re luuucky I’m the only other guy here.”
“Norse gods base our pride in battle and victory, so the only real romantic relationships in our myths are about conquest and kidnapping. Normal romances tend not to turn out well…”
“Tooru! I can hear you!”
●
…I can hear all of you too!!
I’d done it.
But I regret nothing! Well, I actually regret a lot. And I would probably come to regret a lot more.
…But anyway.
I had wondered earlier what would happen when Sumeragi-kun learned my identity, but that was a tough question to consider. The way I was pushed away in the past came rushing back to me.
When he originally chose me, he had known that when he did it.
So I wanted to think it would be fine.
But…
…He forgot all about that during the first rollback.
That meant he did not know my identity.
But he still said he wanted to be with me. I was going along with that, but what would he think when he learned the truth again?
I didn’t know.
I wanted to trust in him. So…
“S-Sumeragi-kun.”
I could sense something in him…well, her now. That one and only human was feeling lonely.
That reminded me of when I was unchosen and alone. It was so much like how I had accepted that and acted like it was unavoidable.
But I did not have to accept it and it was not unavoidable.
This person here had wanted me.
So I wanted to convey the same gratitude and feelings she had given me.
“If you are ever feeling lonely, just remember that I am with you now.”
“Yay!”
I can hear you!
But had I gotten through to him…no, her? Had I shown her that I would be with her just like she said she would be with me?
“Sumeragi-kun?”
Sumeragi suddenly went limp in my arms.
“Eh!?”
Her knees gave out and I quickly tried to support her, but I was too slow. She fell to her knees and then collapsed to the side. I had no idea what had happened or how to respond, so Balancer spoke up.
<Perhaps she suffocated?>
“Mediiiiiic!!”
Sorry, but that’s my job.
●
I apparently passed out for around seven minutes.
Senpai grabbed my shoulders and sat me up.
“Waaahhh! Are you okay!? Are you okay, Sumeragi-kun!?”
“I’m the one who has to fill out the rollback form for Kunugi-senpai, so please don’t make me write ‘suffocated by boobs’ in the cause of death field.”
I more or less understood what happened.
“I had a valuable experience!”
I looked back in my memories. Yes. Senpai had hugged me and I was all like “More! Do it more!” while breathing in to fill my lungs with boob air.
“It smelled really good…and then I passed out.”
But the pressure had been incredible. They were really firm and there was so much…volume to sink into, I guess you would say? Also, the high body temperature and dampness made it all seem more real.
I tried groping my own boobs to see if I could reproduce the feeling, but…
“It’s just not enough…”
“Eh!? Eh!? Do you want to feel mine!? Is that it, Sumeragi-kun!? Do you need to feel them to recover from the brain damage!? That’s it, isn’t it!?”
“No! Senpai, if you let me do it now, it would be out of sympathy for nearly killing me! Sumeragi Izumi is not the type to accept a pity grope! That would be wrong!”
“I think she’s gone completely insane now.”
“Yeah, is it like having some corrupted cache stuck in memory?”
“Heyyyyyy! I’m perfectly sane!””
Everyone but Senpai gave me a highly skeptical look, but that just meant Senpai was on my side.
<Since we are done discussing the rotation, let’s move on to the planetary axis.>
“Aren’t you a little too businesslike!?”
●
“So what’s a planetary axis?”
You don’t even know that? I thought while displaying a diagram.
<A planetary axis is the central axis on which a planet rotates. Think of it like the central stick of a top.>
“Oh, that stick you stab through a roast chicken!”
That was not a central axis at all, but this was getting annoying, so as an AI, I decided to let it slide.
<The question is what angle to put it at.>
“What angle? What’s wrong with straight?”
“Um,” cut in someone else. It was Kuwajiri.
“It would still depend on the rotation and revolution, but a straight axis would almost entirely eliminate any sunlight to the poles, leaving them completely frozen.”
But the idiot did not seem to understand, so I displayed a diagram.
First, a circle. That was the planet.
Then I drew an axis through the center. Vertical was fine.
<Let’s say the sun is shining on the planet from…the right. Yes, right is fine. So what would happen then?>
“It’d be nice and toasty?”
Kuwajiri gave a blatantly irritated look. Yes, my image processing skills were perfect. I could even tell she was realizing how long this would take to explain.
But this was part of my job, so I spoke in her stead.
<This is a small sphere, so it is true the entire thing would grow warm. But an earth-sized planet is quite large. The poles look curved on this diagram, but they are actually almost entirely flat. Also, the sun looks small from earth, so thanks to the curvature of the earth, the equator can block the sun from reaching the poles.”
“What does that mean?”
“If the earth is a lifted boob and you’re viewing it from the front, can you see the top?”
“Oh, now I get it!”
That irritated me, but I decided to accept it as a testament to Raidou’s skill.
<So with a vertically straight axis, the curvature of the earth blocks the sun and creates frozen areas. When that happens, the movement of the atmosphere and seawater would stagnate around the poles, the density convection around the equator would rise, and climate change would become more intense.”
“The climate-related gods would have to create phases and molds to reduce the global climate stress.”
“In that case,” said the ape.
“What if we pointed the axis toward the sun?”
●
That’s a fairly interesting idea, thought Kuwajiri.
“What do you think would happen then?”
“Eh? Well…”
Senpai-san drew up a diagram of a planet with a horizontal axis pointed toward the sun.
With roast chicken, this would be like cooking it from the side with the handle for turning it. That was inefficient, but at the same time…
“One side would always be daytime, so the sun would warm it, but the other side would always be night and it would get cold?”
“You would think so, but not really.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Hmm?” said the idiot, so Kuwajiri explained. She really does listen when she’s interested, she thought while doing so.
“Planets do more than rotate. They also revolve around the sun. So if this…right pole would you call it? Well, if this side was always daytime, when the planet revolved to the other side of the sun, that would reverse. The side that was always night would now always be day and vice-versa.”
And that was not all.
“That is only considering the times when the poles are facing the sun. The planet is actually revolving all the way around the sun, so the front and back sides of the roast chicken will also get cooked. There would be a time in the revolution when the front and back were pointed at the sun and the right and left poles both ended up frozen just like with the previous vertical axis.”
●
“What would happen with a planet like that?”
I couldn’t even imagine it, so I immediately threw in the towel and asked. The answer came from a surprising source.
“Iiin this case, you would have a planet where the frooozen region moves arrrround with time.”
“Really?”
“Reallly, really. It would keep channnging which side was always night, so the freezing cold and scorching heat would swaaaap out over the course of a year. And at the miiidpoint, both poles would be frozen.”
What would happen then?
“The movement of water during the freeeezing and melting process would erode away the land at the poles and the large ocean currents would get rid of all otherrrr land too. You would end up with an ocean planet full of intense currrrents.”
That was incredible.
“Just out of curiosity, what good would a planet like that be?”
“Well, that would be a planet with currents that moved according to set rules over the course of a year. If you could secure some kind of mobile land there and used it as a habitable zone, you could harness the current’s great power and gather the ocean resources that came from what should have been in the land.”
“Mobile land?”
I realized what she meant after saying it.
“The frozen icebergs at the poles!”
“Oh, you’re sharper than I thought.”
“Of course I am! An ocean planet sounds great! Everyone could wear swimsuits, Senpai could wear a swimsuit, and I could wear a swimsuit! No boy swimsuits allowed! Do you get it now, Kuwajiri!? What’s that look for!? Your face sure changes a lot!”
“Well, there are a lot of ice and land gods, plus lots of ocean gods. If you placed molds on the currents, you could create routes and recovery areas for the large iceberg.”
“You can do whatever crazy stuff you want if you’ve got a god helping you, huh?”
<That is why they are gods. Divine intervention greatly changes what is possible in terraforming. To be honest, sending in the gods was meant to deal with the resistance from the star system and its planets, but the secondary effects may actually be more important.>
●
“So how did all of you set your axises?”
“You knowww that horizontal one we talked about? III tried that once.”
“You created…a water planet?”
“Only temporarilyyy. I mean, my myths have a great flooood, right? So I wanted to give that an exciting test run even iiiif I’d do the real thing differently.”
Yeah.
“Aaand that ended up drowning the people from competing myths. Oops.”
“You’re an evil god…”
“Flooding an entire planet for a test run?”
“Now, now,” interrupted Senpai. And…
“So how did you Norse gods set yours?”
“Ours is tilted diagonally with a bit of a wobble to the axis itself.”
“Our home is at a pretty high latitude, so creating an identical environment reduces the area we can use. So by adjusting the tilt and adding an axial wobble at a set period of time, we expanded the area with a climate similar to the Norse regions.”
“Then we just had to establish a frozen region phase along the boundaries of our myths. The rules say if none of the competing myths come to the boundaries of our myth in a set period of time, those boundaries expand further, but then we might end up outside the frozen region.”
“Well, if that does happen, we can create more frozen region by controlling the others. Although creating mountains to obtain higher land might require asking the Jotunn for help.”
“We’re basically at a good stopping point for the time being.”
●
“So, Sumeragi-kun, what do you want to do about this planet’s axis?”
I thought about that, but…
“What’s the most important natural environment in Shinto mythology?”
“Eh?”
“I want to know what environment would most make you go ‘oh, this is nice’ when you step outside.”
“Oh…” said Senpai while looking up into the sky. And…
“It’s too soon to reward me.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, just speaking to myself. But…”
“Shinto is all about the four seasons. Very distinct ones at that.”
“In that case, you should tilt the axis, although not as much as ours.”
“Tilting it makes the seasons good?”
“It depends where on the planet you’ll be living, but if you’re thinking of Japan like in the Divine World, then tilting the axis will make the seasons more distinct.”
“The planet will be tilted as it rotates and also revolves around the sun. That means the position along the revolution will change how long the sun hits a specific area during a rotation and that causes the seasons. …That horizontal axis from before was basically an extreme version of the seasons.”
“Oh, and maybe we were cheating a bit here.”
I wondered what that meant, so I thought about it for a bit.
…Oh.
It hit me. How was it unfair for the Norse group to push me to tilt the axis?
“If we tilt the axis, it’ll give us Shinto-style seasons at Japan’s latitude, but you’ll have a Norse environment if you go further north!”
●
Yes. They had said before that the planet was round, so the poles didn’t get as much sun. So you normally couldn’t give the entire planet the same environment. Which meant…
“Creating seasons suited for Japan will create a different environment outside of that, and that gives you land to live in too, doesn’t it?”
“Even if you all would have a hard time living there, we can do it with ease. And if you can’t live there, why not give it to us, right?”
“I pointed this out with our later relationship in mind, so make sure you think about this.”
So telling me was a special service. And…
“By wobbling the axis to adjust it and by having the gods apply phases to the land, you can expand the range of Japan’s seasons. Of course, the mythology’s territory is not restricted to that environment, but there is more you have to deal with the larger the compatible environment is. … I could calculate all that out, so how about it?”
“Hmm.”
Was this worth thinking about then?
Expanding the environment would give us what we wanted, so it sounded like a good idea. But…
“Can I wait a bit to answer that?”
“Huh? Why?”
Something about this bothered me for some reason. But not because I was afraid the Norse group was pulling a fast one.
“I’m wondering what…or how much I actually want.”
“How much?”
“Yeah. If I’m thinking of living in a place, how much land would I want?”
“C’mon, we’re talking about the land for Shinto believers, so just take a whole ton of it.”
Everyone realized there was a difference between what we were talking about.
And after some thought, Shifu-senpai clapped her hands together.
“Oh, I get it! We’re gods, so we’re all about snagging as much land for our believers as we can get, but Sumeragi-chan is human, so she’s using how much space she would live on and using that to figure out how much land the Shinto humans would need.”
“Humanityyy has a way of growing. It’s best not to beee too stingy.”
I understood that, but for some reason…
“Saying this is my place and that’s yours is fine and all. But…”
●
I was a created human.
But I could work with Senpai.
And I liked having fun in the club with the others.
●
“I feel like it would be better if everyone could be together and just have a blast.”
●
Yes, I thought.
…I wish we could do that too.
As an estranged god, I chose to believe him.
I really hoped that would be possible.
●
<I see. Then let us put that problem on hold and call it a day.>
Balancer felt an odd sort of satisfaction.
The only actual accomplishment today was establishing the star system’s mythology.
They had made no terraforming progress at all. A decision had to be made on the rotation and revolution before anything could be done there, so everything was on hold until that decision was made.
But there was a reason why Balancer felt satisfaction.
…Everyone together, hm?
The gods used the terraforming to compete over territory for the people of their mythologies to control.
But this human – created though she might be – had rejected the gods’ way of doing things.
What did that mean?
She only had that hope for harmony because she believed in everyone’s good nature. But…
<First of all, I must ask that everyone considers what this ape descendant just said. …I very faintly sense a new possibility there.>
“Hey, if you’re gonna praise me, really go for it, AI!”
<I was not praising you. I was noting that you had given us yet another problem to deal with.>
This may have created new meaning in introducing humanity to the equation.
Interlude[edit]
<That said, I am a well-made AI, so it is possible I am simply ‘imagining’ it.>
“What!? Is this some new form of tsundere!?”
“Was that word even a thing in this era?”
Chapter 18: Megapanel 01[edit]
I forgot what I was going to say
By the time we left the clubroom, night had already fallen.
The day had been hot, but it still got chilly at night. As for my mood…
“Ahh! That was a ton of fun!”
“It’s supposed to be summer break here, so the fun doesn’t have to stop here.”
“Don’t you all have your home planet to worry about?”
“Most of the parts where fighting matters are done. If we were there, the other factions would pick fights with us and it’d just be a big pain.”
“We base our pride in fighting, so great power doesn’t work as a deterrent.”
“Beeeing powerful is a realll pain.”
Once we left the club building, we were in the courtyard. Shifu-senpai stepped out ahead and…
“How about we go to a family restaurant?”
“I’ve eaten a liiiitle too much of the lamb at Royal Host, so I’m sick of it.”
“Then how about Jonathan’s?”
“A seafood place is a lot more likely to have gods from the Mediterranean coast. It would probably be best to avoid those places when the inspectors or whatever might be here.”
“Hey, Balancer, who’s here?”
<Even if I knew the answer, I could not answer as it would violate the gods’ privacy. And as an AI, I can go beyond pretending not to know and actually make sure I do not know even though I know, you idiot.>
“Wh-why can’t this screen stop talking two words earlier!? So anyway, where are we going?”
“Somewhere that serves horse meat would be safe, but how about we go to Sasayama? They serve boar and some other things that should keep a lot of gods away.”
“The south entrance is a bit far right now.”
“Hm?” I said with a tilt of the head.
“Horse meat is safe?”
“Safe isn’t quite the right word. In the world around Mesopotamia, eating horse is taboo. That series of mythologies is at its fifth generation, so it has a lot of derivatives and influence.”
Kuwajiri tilted her head as well.
“But I would like to avoid any translation issues. Balancer, can you do something about that?”
“Translation issues?”
<The Mesopotamian food taboos were determined by our reverse simulation using the records remaining in ruins and on the clay tablets they used back then. But while one clay tablet might include onion in its recipe, another will say onion is forbidden and should be avoided.>
“Oh, that. The thing where the word ‘onion’ can refer to more than one thing.”
<They lacked the concept of classification by genus back then, so they treated onions and green onions as entirely different plants. But depending on the language you are using, the single word ‘onion’ might be used to refer to the ones you can eat and the ones you should avoid. And just like Japanese turnips and Western turnips are different, these problems are always a possibility and that makes things very difficult for AIs like us.>
“So with ancient third generation mythologies, even they probably have difficulty knowing what they’re forbidden from eating. …Are you even listening?”
“Yes! I’m listening, I’m listening! I understand it all super well!”
This girl is really sharp, I thought.
And then Raidou-senpai raised his hand.
“How about we go to Bikkuri Donkey in Sunakawa?”
“Raidou-senpai, do you think the Mesopotamian group is here for the inspection?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“If it was Egypt from the fifth generation, Kunugi wouldn’t be using such an indirect method of dealing with it. And I’ve got some friends in the Indus group, so I’d know if they were on the move. The Yellow River group comes along a little too late to have much power yet and they don’t have much influence in the DC. It wouldn’t be possible for them to get involved here. The South American group is busy fighting the North American group and the North American group is pro-Shinto due to lingering influence from the Earth Age.”
“But the dump truck that hit Sumeragi-chan was from the Olympus group, right?”
“Ehhh!? When did that happen to me!?”
“Um, I’ll explain once everything’s calmed down some, okay?”
Meanwhile, Raidou nodded.
“If the Aegean Sea group was on the move, they’d want to avoid a coincidental conflict with us, so I think they’d go get some lobster at Jonathan’s or somewhere like that.”
“Ohh. You gave this a lot of thought, Tooru.”
“The myths do present me as being pretty smart, you know?”
Kuwajiri nodded.
“I think this is a good idea. They did eat pork in Mesopotamia, but it was considered low quality food. Shinto could erase that low quality aspect through purification, but they do not have that authority. …Going to a restaurant that pretty much only serves hamburger steaks would work.”
“Okay, then let’s eat some sandals. The trick is using the secret menu to order two at once.”
“Then I’ll get a 150 and a 300!”
“Um, what is Bikkuri Donkey?”
“It is a hamburger steak restaurant with a 150g size and a 300g size that is commonly said to be the size of a sandal. The only real options on the menu are those two sizes and what sauce and toppings you want. If you want to be favorable, you can call it a simple system, but since the whole menu is displayed in a single wooden frame, it is popular with the European gods because it feels like home.”
I was familiar with it.
I thought it might be in my previous memories, but…
“Hey, screen. Can you search for it to show Senpai?”
<Why not open a Revelation Board yourself?>
“I can do that?”
<You can. Strike a pose and say “Come forth! Revelation Board!”>
I struck a pose.
“Come forth! Revelation Board!”
I waited five seconds and nothing appeared. Instead…
<I did not think you would really do it.>
Kuwajiri gave a snort of laughter.
●
I grabbed the screen and shook them back and forth.
“You! You!!”
<A well-made AI needs some time for recreation like this.>
I knew I had to break that screen eventually, but for now…
“Um, does it not appear when you wave your hand like this, Sumeragi-kun?”
Senpai did it and one appeared. It was a red torii-style one.
“Wow, your Revelation Board is super cute.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait. You saw it earlier, didn’t you? This is the official Shinto design and I’ve barely customized it since my divine rank is so low.”
Anyway, I waved my hand like she had.
I waited five seconds and nothing appeared. Instead…
“Senpai-chan? Wasn’t Sumeragi-chan’s Revelation Board set to not appear in this world?”
<Oh, that’s right. It isn’t set up correctly.>
I grabbed the screen and shook them back and forth.
“You! You!!”
<Ehh!? Why am I getting the blame for this!?>
“Oh, sorry. I set it up that way, didn’t I?”
“Sumeragi is human and Revelation Boards are a divine authority. It’s set up for her in that world because it’s necessary for the terraforming, but in this world, you have to give it to her as her god.”
“Would giving it motion controls be convenient?”
Senpai opened a few of her Revelation Boards and her eyes stopped in the middle of reading something.
“Here we go, Sumeragi-kun. I’ll give you Revelation Board privileges, so please decide on a motion for opening it.”
“A motion? Like ‘oomph’ or ‘ahhn’?”
I struck a Y-pose.
“Ahhn!”
“Hmmmm, Sumeragi-kuuun? That’s not right. You do it like thiiis. Waaatch closely.”
<Please wait! Your absurdities will make a mess of the beautiful 90s we have created!>
“Well, that’s toooo bad. But Sumeragi-kuuun? …You can’t half-assss this.”
That bald god sure is strict about this stuff, I thought.
But then Shifu-senpai gestured over at me.
“Look, look. You can just do it like this.”
She waved her hand and a Revelation Board appeared, but…
“Including a bit of a finger motion makes sure you don’t accidentally open one.”
“Okay,” I said while making a motion involving both hands’ fingers.
I moved them.
The girls tilted their heads at the motion, but Raidou-senpai eventually clapped his hands together.
“Oh, a boob-groping motion! Just a bit from below!”
“Yes! If I’m going to be true to my faith, what other motion could I choose!? Oh, it’s not just Kuwajiri this time! Shifu-senpai is giving me a cold look too!”
“So every time you open a Revelation Board while facing a girl, we need to call the cops.”
“Heyyyy! If I was doing that, the board opening would be on accident!”
But to get back on topic, I grabbed the Revelation Board and operated it.
Hm, is it the same as the one I used during the terraforming?
“Okay, so this is Bikkuri Donkey. And here’s the menu.”
<Searching like that is convenient, but even in America, the internet only entered general use in 1992, so do not assume this is standard.>
“What do you mean?”
“This era is full of things that are fun because certain things don’t exist yet, so adding in later conveniences can actually be inconvenient in a lot of ways.”
“Old tourist locations were sized based on how far people could walk, so even though adding in cars is convenient, everything goes by so quick it isn’t as enjoyable.”
Kuwajiri could be really hard to understand sometimes…
Anyway, Senpai was a little shocked by the menu I showed her.
“Wow, convenience store food for lunch and 150g of this at night is a little much…”
“Their sweets are pretty big too.”
“Yeah, that might be tough for someone used to Japanese food.”
“Oh, but what about Kuwajiri-san? Can you eat the 300g one?”
“Sorry, but hearty meals is a big selling point of Norse stuff.”
Shifu-senpai then raised a hand.
“I’d like to take a bath before that.”
“A bath?”
“Well, aren’t we all a little sweaty after the excitement in the clubroom? And if we eat more meat after that…”
Raidou-senpai sniffed her hair.
“You’re fine.”
“Oh, don’t do thaaaat. Geez.”
The incredible part was how obviously she actually liked it. Anyway, she sighed and…
“Our customs or habits about that have changed some since we got here, haven’t they? So…”
She pointed north, but I couldn’t see what was there at night.
“Balancer, the bathhouse we always go to has one in Sunakawa too, doesn’t it?”
<Yes. There is a Nam bathhouse set up for the gods in Sunakawa, so you can go there.>
And that meant one thing.
“Visiting the bathhouse with Senpaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”
●
“Wow! A bath with Senpai!”
Raidou-senpai tilted his head while I got all excited and hopped up and down.
“That’s how you got hit by a dump truck, you know?”
“I don’t care about my past mistakes! I live in the moment!”
“Also, Sumeragi-kuuun? Which bath are you going to use?”
That reminded me of that issue. I looked down to see boobs there.
“Yes! Woohoo! I’m so glad I’m a girl! This is going to be a learning experience! How about that, you two boys!? You can go get in the bath together, strike a Y-pose, and do pushups!”
“I shouldn’t have made you a girl…”
“Ohh! Kuwajiri! Thank you! It’s all thanks to you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much! If you hadn’t made me a girl with that banana, I might never have been able to take a bath with Senpai!”
“Doesn’t it make you sad to say that?”
“Um, well, uh.”
●
Scarecrow sighed.
There was enough hot water to stretch out her legs, the ceiling was tall, and the washing area was large.
This was a bathhouse.
The Sunakawa bathhouse called Nam 1975 was one of the establishments that Balancer and the Shinto gods had worked together to add into the reproduced 90s era.
The Nam part of the name came from an alternate name for Okuninushi who was said to have discovered hot springs and the 1975 was an arbitrary year chosen to make it feel like a well-established business.
Since the name came from Okuninushi’s alternate name, Ana 1975 and Ona 1975 were also suggested, but they were rejected for being too obscene.[1] Of course they were.
But…
“Tenma-kun, should you really be taking a bath like this?”
“Eh? Just because I’m a thunder god doesn’t mean I leak electricity everywhere.”
That underclassman then asked a question while soaking her feet in the bath.
“Scarecrow-senpai, should you really be soaking like that?”
“Hm? I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, I was afraid you might boil.”
“No, no, no, no,” she said while waving her hands side to side.
“I am a scarecrow, remember? I might be an agricultural god with a connection to grains, but I am not made of grains myself. So I will not boil. Also, while it is limited to white rice, boiled rice is made by soaking the grains of rice and turning them into a paste. But the water temperature needed to efficiently accelerate the soaking of white rice is more than 50 degrees. This water is generally kept just above 39 degrees, so there is no chance of boiling.”
“So you’re being half-boiled…”
That did not seem quite right, but she was disappointed she did not have a comment ready to show off her knowledge. And then a sudden voice reached them from the changing room.
“Ehhhhh!? Why are you wearing swimsuits in the changing room!?”
It was incredible how immediately obvious it was who had arrived.
●
Raidou nodded deeply at Sumeragi’s voice heard from the girls side of the bathhouse.
“I know it’s a letdown when you were expecting nudity, but swimsuits are pretty great, Sumeragi.”
He doubted that lecture would reach Sumeragi. Unfortunately.
But anyway…
“Balancer, can Yomoji and I really use this like Shinto gods?”
<Yes. The gate has been modified to allow that this time. That sort of service is usually offered to Shinto supporters, but would you prefer I changed the settings?>
“I’m not sure I should be making this decision on my own, but…eh, this is fine!”
“Niiice! I like how deciiisive you are, Raidou-kun.”
Yomoji stripped off his clothes to reveal he was already wearing swim trunks below.
“Really?”
“Woullld you believe me if I said I haaad predicted this?”
“Nope, I wouldn’t.”
Yomoji laughed and slapped him on the back.
“I’m glaaad.”
“I wouldn’t want to be you. People expect a lot from you.”
“You could sayyy that.”
<To recreate this era, the contemporary records and our simulations were used to recreate expected human behavior so the automatons and pseudo spirits could behave accordingly, but I was surprised to find how spiritual-driven their behavior was.>
“Yeah,” agreed Raidou.
This was obvious enough after a trip to the bookstore.
“Prophecies, gods, UFOs, previous lives, ghosts, fortunetelling, and all that stuff were actually unrealistic in this age since there was still barely any interference from the concept laws, but Japan still believed in an awful lot of that stuff.”
“I love stuff liiike prophecies. Makes me want to tryyy it out myself. I really enjoyyyed the alien special they aired on TV the otherrr day. They kind of looked liiike me.”
“Makes you wish you could’ve manifested a thousand or so years earlier, right? Although we’re really just a copy or replaying of the real deal form the Earth Age.”
<All of you are one-of-a-kind data entities constructed based on the rules discovered from records, data, and estimates. There is some statistical doubt that you are identical to the ones from the Earth Age, but I do think your abilities more than qualify you for the title of god.>
“Sorry.”
He apologized. There were a number of reasons for that, but…
“We’re nothing but trouble, aren’t we?”
<No, you have a clear position here and any changes to that go through the appropriate processes, so it is no trouble at all. But…>
Just as Balancer said that, someone stepped out from one of the small changing stalls.
“Oh.”
It was Kunugi Takeshi.
●
Raidou raised a hand in greeting.
Kunugi was tall and had several bandanas wrapped around him. The horn-like hair on his head was also wrapped in bandanas.
“So how’d it go?”
“Thanks forrr the help. If we had runnn into trouble, I would have had tooo use my absurdities.”
“So you can avoid the worst case scenario with Yomoji around?”
“The Mesopotamians would be a real pain because you can trace Yomoji’s roots back to them.”
“Oh, I see,” said Kunugi while lightly striking the air with hands still covered with a bit of blue and red paint.
“Running the DC can’t be easy. There’s just no way you can bring together and manage every single mythology. There are so many interests involved and I hate that kind of thing.”
“But we wouldn’t have anyone to coordinate things without the DC.”
“True. Without it, the gods would start behaving like humans.”
“You mean war.”
“I do,” confirmed Kunugi.
“If that happens, those on the DC will have an overwhelming advantage. The reason they stay on the DC instead of going to war has more to do with their pride than their conscience, but…well, I’m just saying to keep that in mind.”
“The fifth generation is really tough. …I wonder what the DC would’ve been like if I was a member.”
“Don’t even joke about that. Your war god culture glorifies fighting and dying in battle, so you’d have a tournament of the gods set up before the day was out.”
“I can already see Shifu getting super excited and Haruto giving me the most displeased look ever. Even though Haruto’s pretty far up in the rankings.”
“That’s the thing with you Norse gods…”
“But we make good mercenaries for you Shinto gods, don’t we? And we also have Kuwajiri.”
Just then, they heard a voice from the other side.
“Huhhhh!? Kuwajiri-saaaaaan! Yours are even smaller than mine, aren’t theyyyy!? They say the gods make everyone equal! But there’s a clear difference between the two of us here!”
“What was that about Kuwajiri?”
“She just doesn’t hide it when she’s angry. That way it doesn’t build up inside her.”
“What about Shifu?”
“She doesn’t get mad at me. She just makes suggestions and hopes for things.”
She’s a good girl, he thought. So…
“Right?”
Just as he sought agreement, Yomoji and Kunugi exchanged a glance and finally responded.
“Oh, shut up.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Kunugi, you asked the question! And you have your wife Keito, don’t you?”
“Keito is, y’know, working on something, so she only ever gives one word responses to everything I say. And when she’s mad, she reduces my share of the clay and paint.”
“That sounds rough.”
“It’s not that bad,” said Kunugi while opening a locker. He pulled out a reed sack that had a bag of art supplies sticking out of it.
“Heading home? …So were you behind what happened to Sumeragi?”
“Does that mean Kuwajiri is keeping quiet? …Just assume I had a good reason. To be honest, if that doesn’t become clear soon, Kido is not going to be happy with me.”
“I really am grateful for everything you do.”
“Repay me sometime,” said Kunugi as he prepared to leave. And…
“Balancer, can’t you make a full-coverage revelation network?”
<That is honestly up to your requests. If you want that, then hurry up and settle all this ‘politics’ between the gods so you all request the same thing. I honestly have no reason for this to be the 90s other than as a political deterrent for all of you.>
So…
<If you don’t continue the terraforming, make each planet nearly equal, and give the same rights to every mythology, the current boundaries between mythologies prevent a full-coverage network.>
“…Raidou.”
“Yeah, Kunugi?”
“I’m all for peace…but when I hear things like that, I start to think it might be necessary to be a little more selfish.”
“You’re selfish enough for leaving the DC to support Shinto.”
After that, Kunugi turned his back and waved.
The movement of his shoulders made it clear he was laughing a little. That was how it was between the two of them. But…
“Ahhhhh! Senpai! Swimsuit! Waaahhh! Hwaaaaah! Hwahaaaahhh!”
Is that idiot okay? Well, I guess the idiot part means no.
●
I saw Senpai step out of the changing stall.
<The lockers are spatially linked to your homes. That effect is limited to areas under my compete control, Shinto-connected locations, and on the school grounds, but this bathhouse qualifies. So…>
“Shut up, exposition face! I’m too busy using my eyes!”
I used them.
Senpai wore a two-piece like it was only natural. It was colored white and black.
“You’re the best, Senpai!”
“R-really?”
“Yes! I could praise you forever! Should I!? Y/N!? Y! Y! Y! I really don’t have the vocabulary to describe it, but you’re the best of the bestest bests!”
A Revelation Board suddenly appeared in front of me.
“…”
“Did you just try to touch Senpai-san’s chest?”
“No, no, no, no! Wait! I’m way too far away for that! And I didn’t move at all, did I!?”
“Maybe the motion control optimization predicted you were about to do it.”
“Ehhhhh!? No one told me it did that! And how could it optimize like that when I’ve never opened my own Revelation Board before!?”
As soon as I saw Shifu-senpai in her gold and white striped two-piece swimsuit, a pair of Revelation Boards shot out.
“…”
“Hold on there.”
“Okay, maybe we do need to call the cops.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait! There’s something wrong with this thing! What kind of premature Revelation Board goes off after just seeing some boobs!?”
“Sumeragi-kun, maybe try to show some, um, restraint…”
I swiftly prostrated before Senpai and pressed my forehead against the floor.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It’s not that I have no restraint! It’s just that, um, a surfactant has the blood flowing so smoothly into the erectile tissue of my heart!”
“What language are you speaking?”
“C’mon, I’m just talking about how squeaky smooth the blood flows! Squeaky squeaky smooth!”
I wasn’t even sure what I was talking about anymore.
But I had to prove my innocence, so I stood up and…
“Listen, Senpai! I’ll prove I have restraint!”
I looked at Kuwajiri. She was wearing a brown one-piece swimsuit.
I looked at her. And…
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Now that the Revelation Board really didn’t appear, I feel kind of bad about doing this.”
“Just shut up.”
“I mean, humor-wise wouldn’t it have been funnier if it appeared?”
“I said shut up.”
“Also, that swimsuit isn’t supposed to be the color of a wooden beer mug, is it?”
“Never speak again.”
“Are you telling me to die?”
“That would just mean more work for me, so try to stay alive until I’m not so busy.”
I felt like I had seen the dark side of society in that conversation.
Anyway, I turned back toward the others.
“See!? I’ve got plenty of restraint!”
Two Revelation Boards appeared, so I smashed them with a backhand snap and struck a pose.
The two upperclassmen tilted their heads.
“I feel like this is all very rude to Kuwajiri-chan.”
“That’s right, Sumeragi-kun. Despite what I said, I think this was a little rude and you should probably have one appear for Kuwajiri-san too.”
I loved how Senpai could say that while aware it was a double standard!
So I turned back toward Kuwajiri and made a groping motion in empty air.
“Ready, go.”
A Revelation Board appeared.
“Yay! It appeared, Kuwajiri! Happy now!?”
●
“Um, Senpai-san, um, uh, well, I know you meant well, but, uh, how should I put it, I think you went at that the wrong way, so maybe, uh, well, my vocabulary just keeled over and died, didn’t it, but, um, well, uh.”
“Aaaaahhhh! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
“To be clear, Kuwajiri-chan, is a wisdom god, so she’ll talk up a storm when it’s about knowledge and wisdom, but she’s pretty bad at expressing her own opinions and feelings.”
“Eh!? Really, Kuwajiri!? Then what do you think about me!? And I mean emotionally!”
“I hope you die.”
“Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! That was fast!”
●
Hmm, mentally groaned Shifu while looking alternately between the idiot and Kuwajiri.
Then Senpai-chan must have noticed something.
“Is something wrong?”
“Not really. But I did notice a difference here.”
Senpai-chan tilted her head with an “eh?” while a Revelation Board opened and vanished around her. That meant the idiot’s faith was working for her, but…
“My Revelation Board didn’t get any experience points at all.”
“Oh…”
It looked like Senpai-chan had caught on. She put a hand on her chin in thought. She seemed to view this as a problem, so she must not have been trying to hog Sumeragi to herself.
And then she spoke again.
“Sumeragi-kun says a lot of silly things, but I think that’s a sign of her respect for Kuwajiri-san. The way she expresses it might be a problem, but I do hope the experience points find their way to Kuwajiri-san in some visible way.”
“Really? You aren’t afraid Kuwajiri-chan will steal Sumeragi-chan’s faith from you?”
“No, because I know Sumeragi-kun’s faith is directed at me. But aside from that, I hope her respect can reach Kuwajiri-san. Kuwajiri-san might not think of herself like that, but I bet it would change how she thinks about it if it actually happened.”
●
Raidou finished changing and considered what equipment to bring in with him. He generally kept on the belt buckle part, but what about the arm supporter? He could always wash it in the bath’s laundry.
While he tried to make up his mind, a Revelation Board opened.
“Tooruuuuuuuu!”
“Yeah? What is it, Shifu? Did you run out of haircare stuff?”
“No, no,” said Shifu.
“I managed to take Senpai-chan’s side!”
Did something make her happy? he wondered. But…
“Oh, really, really? Make sure you get along.”
“That’ll be easy in the bath!”
True enough, he thought. But…
“Is something the matter?”
“No, not really.”
This is about my wife after all, he thought while choosing his words carefully.
“I just learned something that makes me glad we came here.”
●
Seeing two tall and busty girls closely interacting was an incredible thing.
“Wow…”
“Delete every last one of those Revelation Board photos you’re taking.”
That did not stop me.
Shifu-senpai hugged and rubbed Senpai like she was an adorable animal.
“Eh? Eh? Um, Shifu-san? Uhh?”
“Man, Senpai-chan, you’re great! I just want to…what should I even say?”
She finally found the words.
“Let’s hang out more often, okay?”
●
“Ah…”
I was honestly happy to hear that, but was this really okay?
…Sumeragi-kun said she would be with me forever too…
What should I do? This doesn’t fit with my authority. So…
“Senpai-chan?”
I came back to my senses. This was not the time for that, so…
“Thank you very much. …I hope we can spend more time together too.”
●
She’s lying, I thought.
“Senpai?”
I felt like she had just told a lie. I wasn’t sure why, but…
“Eh? What is it, Sumeragi-kun?”
That response was her usual self. I sensed no lie there.
I didn’t ask for you, Revelation Board. Really, stop that. Please. I’m trying to think.
“I’m starting to think Senpai-san set that up wrong.”
“What!? How dare you try to blame Senpai for this!”
“Oh…oh, no. The optimization level really is set to max. Sorry…”
“Senpai! I’m so happy you tried to help me out with that setting!”
Anyway, Kuwajiri was glaring at me, but Senpai’s level had gone up, so maybe it was all good.
●
Wait, no.
There was no maybe about it between Senpai and me.
It was all good. It was all great. It was all super-duper. There was no compromise in goodness here.
●
I asked about it since that was the right thing to do with Senpai and me.
“Senpai…you just lied, didn’t you?”
“Well…”
“Something felt off when you said you wanted to spend more time with her.”
“Ah…”
She stopped speaking. At the same time, the beer mug swimsuit raised a hand.
“What kind of god you are is a secret. If this has to do with that, I will not pursue the matter.”
Oh, right. There was that. I’d kind of forgotten, but…
“Um, I’m not sure how to say it, but my authority…I guess you could say it means I should reject any close relationships.”
Senpai explained.
“So I’m hesitant to get closer to people. I feel like I shouldn’t be doing it.”
●
I more or less understood. There were a lot of death gods and debuff gods out there.
And she was probably a unique case even among those.
“I’ll assume there is no countermeasure or no precedent for your case.”
The possibility of no precedent would be Kuwajiri’s decision. And if she was willing to suggest it, it was worth taking into consideration.
“Is that what you think, Kuwajiri-chan?”
“A lot of the current virtually manifested gods have fairly unique authorities, but there are generally other gods with the same sort of authority. But…Shinto Representative Omokane-senpai said Senpai-san was the most powerful. I am taking that to mean there are no others like her…and that means no precedent.”
I couldn’t believe it. Most likely that low-rank goddess had more authority than she knew what to do with.
For now, I rubbed her head. And…
“You know…”
I’m on your side, okay? So…
“If everything gets to be too much to bear or you feel like you’ve caused a lot of trouble for Sumeragi-chan, you can abandon the terraforming and run away, okay?”
●
“Eh?”
“It’s fine, it’s fine. That’s just how it is. So…Sumeragi-chan?”
I asked a question.
“If Senpai-chan ever disappears, what would you do?”
“Well! Without my faith, I’d have nothing to live for! So I’d go find her and worship her!”
That answer earned a perfect score with extra credit. Senpai-chan couldn’t hide the uneasy expression below my hand, but…
“Are you listening?”
“Um, uh, yes, what is it?”
This is what it was.
“We’ll have all the answers once that happens, okay? We’ll know if you’re actually under enough pressure to throw it all away, we’ll know if that idiot really will chase after you, and we’ll know what you’ll do in response. There’s no point in thinking about it now since nothing’s been decided yet. But…”
But…
“You can make those decisions when the time comes. So you know what to do for now, don’t you?”
“…Yes.”
Senpai-chan spoke quietly.
“I’ll do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen and that things continue as they are.”
●
That’s right, I thought.
Shifu could help out when I was feeling anxious and wasn’t sure what to do.
“Oh, and Sumeragi-chan gets a gold star for noticing.”
That’s right, I thought. Thank you, I also thought.
Sumeragi-kun would find me when I was feeling lost.
That might happen eventually, but…
“Yes.”
That had not happened yet, so for now…
“Are we done with all the complicated stuff!? Can we start the super bath time now!?”
Wait, you’re switching rails a little too fast there.
Chapter 19: Megapanel 02[edit]
Excitement that rises with buoyancy
And grows with volume
“Ahh! I’m so glad I’m a girl! Now I get to see Senpai in a swimsuit!”
When I stretched out in the bathtub and raised my voice, it echoed quite nicely. But…
“This is a bathhouse, so why aren’t we naked!?”
“There are naked baths too.”
I wasn’t sure what Shifu-senpai, whose boobs were floating in the water, meant at first, so I twice mentally repeated what Shifu-senpai, whose boobs were floating in the water, had said. And…
“Wh-what do you mean, Shifu-senpai, whose boobs are floating in the water!?”
“You don’t have to get all hung up on that.”
“Okay! I’ll think of it as a universal law!”
Then I looked to Senpai.
“…? Senpai, why are your boobs sinking a little?”
“Eh? Isn’t this just how it works? I think it’s an issue of mass and water displacement.”
“Oh, yeah. There is something like a density issue in there, isn’t there? Basically, whether they’re softer or firmer.”
I settled on worshiping them both. Several Revelation Boards appeared around Senpai, so my faith must have reached her. Fantastic.
●
“So what do you mean there are naked baths!? I want all the details! No lying to me about this!”
“Well,” said Shifu-senpai while waving a hand side to side after I stood up in excitement.
“Those are the normal ones. This one is for when you just want to wash off your sweat or just feel like soaking in the bath for a bit.”
“S-so I was tricked!?”
“Um, Sumeragi-kun? Those are the ones I meant when I invited you to the bathhouse before.”
“Eh!? For real!? For really reals!? Yay! …What was I doing getting hit by a dump truck then!? How stupid am I!?”
“Since you seem to have forgotten, might I remind you that you were a boy then and could not have gone in the girl’s bath?”
“Huh!? What does that matter!? It doesn’t change that Senpai and I would’ve been naked in the same bath with only one little wall between us!”
“Are they the same?”
<No. There are legends about having a child after swimming in the same river or bathing in the same spring, but the men and women’s baths are entirely separate, including the circulation systems for the water.>
“You tricked me, Balancer! It’s you! It’s always you!”
I struck a pose and pointed at the screen with both hands.
<Huh!? Why am I taking the blame here!? Weren’t you simply mistaken, ape!?>
“Quiet! I only think thoughts that work in my favor! Cause I’m a black belt in positive thinking!”
“You’re such a pain…”
You do a little too much negative thinking, I thought, but Senpai had done the same earlier. Shifu-senpai could seem bright and cheery, but was she really? I had expected gods to be more bursting with energy, but apparently not. Regardless, that didn’t matter right now.
“Listen, Balancer! If I’m not taking a bath with Senpai, then the bathhouse is just a really big bath!”
“Isn’t that what a bathhouse is?”
“Now that you mention it, yeah. …But then what am I supposed to do!?”
“Um, would it solve everything if I invited you to one of those baths next time?”
“No, Senpai! You can’t just give me everything I want!!”
“I’m really not sure what you mean, Sumeragi-kun!”
When Senpai showed she did not understand, Shifu-senpai circled in front of her.
“Eh?”
“Um, Senpai-chan?”
Shifu-senpai placed her hands on Senpai’s shoulders. “The thing is,” she began.
“For just that one split second, Sumeragi-chan was right.”
“Eh? Eh?”
“The thing is, you’re way too sweet with Sumeragi-chan. You’ve reached the level of those addictive caramels that have so much sugar they taste bitter. You’ve got it so bad you can’t bring yourself to say no to anything Sumeragi-chan asks, which is why you really shouldn’t give her anything she wants.”
“…? A-am I really that sweet with Sumeragi-kun?”
No one could look her in the eye.
After a while, Shifu-senpai groaned and continued.
“To be blunt, Senpai-chan, sometimes you do things that make me think you went insane, but I let it slide because it’s fun to watch.”
“Yes, Senpai-san. If this idiot is blackmailing you in some way, please let us know. I can erase those memories or castrate him on the next rollback.”
“Hollllllld it! Aren’t you ignoring the relationship Senpai and I have built up! Even if I don’t remember much of it!”
But I had to say this.
“Senpai! I want to see you naked, I imagine some sketchy things about you, and I may do some imagination movement when I do, but it’s all part of how I worship you!”
“Um, then do I have to respond in kind?”
“I worship you because worshiping you is enough for me! I’m not worshiping you because I’m hoping for or trying to bargain for a wardrobe malfunction or something!”
This was what I meant.
“Even when you aren’t with me, even when I’m feeling lonely, and even when I get a little hot and bothered in the middle of the night, worshiping you is all I need! That’s how worship works and I’m more than satisfied having you as my target of worship! Yes, you could call this a one-sided love! Oh, but it doesn’t make me a stalker! Stalking is a crime, but worship is love!”
“Pretty sure you didn’t need that part about getting hot and bothered.”
“I couldn’t come up with a good third example… Agh, why am I so stupid, stupid, stupid!? I just had to screw it up when I had a really good speech going on!”
Um, so what I was trying to say was…
“Having Senpai with me and interacting with me is enough to make me happy and that’s true even if those interactions are really cold!”
“Well, aren’t you in luck.”
“I wasn’t talking about you!”
“Anyway, do you get the picture now, Senpai-chan? If you just give Sumeragi-chan everything, she won’t have to go through her worshiping maneuvers and that would be bad.”
“Um, uh, can I ask one thing?”
Senpai put her hands on her cheeks as she asked her one thing.
“What if I want to give her those things?”
●
I saw the idiot raise her hand.
“I just imagined something pretty incredible, but it doesn’t count since I’m a girl, right?”
“Uh, sure. You don’t have to say what it was, so let’s just forget all about that.”
I placed my hands on Senpai-chan’s shoulders again.
“Restrain yourself, I guess.”
“Restrain myself?”
“I mean, whenever Sumeragi-chan gets all worked up over nothing, it counts as worshiping you. We’ve all seen that.”
It was happening even now. Even the most pointless things she said counted as respect and level-up messages kept appearing on the Revelation Boards around Senpai-chan.
“Senpai-san, if you respond to Sumeragi’s worship, I estimate her level of satisfaction will increase and the frequency and amount of her worship will decline. That will prevent you from levelling up and delay the terraforming.”
“Eh? Then what am I supposed to do?”
“Restrain yourself, I guess.”
“We’re back where we started!”
“Okay, I’ll try to keep this just barely on the side of decency, but you aren’t the kind of god that has to suck out men’s ‘lifeforce’, are you? Depending on the region, there are some mother earth goddesses that were incorporated into another mythology and ended up like that, so you can find them in the Indus mythologies.”
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Of course not.”
“Then,” I said calmly.
“I really think you just have to restrain yourself.”
“You really think so?”
“In the most extreme, you probably have to restrain yourself until the terraforming is complete, but it would help Sumeragi’s motivation if you moderately relaxed that rule from time to time, so how about that?”
“Yes, well, um, I discussed this Sumeragi-kun before and…”
Sumeragi raised her hand.
“You’re gonna incessantly tease me and string me along!? I’m pretty sure I can get an unlimited amount of arousal out of being teased by you! But I would like the occasional glimpse – or more than a glimpse – of something!”
“A-a glimpse!? More than a glimpse!? I will do my best as your god partner!”
I was worried, but we were here to put a stop to things if need be, so it’d be fine. Probably.
●
<Anyway, your uniforms have been cleaned. You can head home at any time.>
Well done, I thought.
“I’m glad I wore the new style instead of the old style today.”
“Well, we were planning on participating in the terraforming.”
“What’s so great about the new style? That’s what I’m wearing today.”
<The new style is not made to match this time period, so more of its materials are data structures I made. Of course, they were designed with cleaning in mind, so when left with the laundry here, their privileges are temporarily returned to me so I can clean them.>
“And all the laundries around here are like that.”
It is a convenient system, I thought. But…
“That alone will not teach us about the clothing of this time period, so it is important to purchase old style uniforms and local casual clothing that we must wash ourselves.”
“Kuwajiri-chaaan, you don’t have to be on the job all the time.”
It was not so much a job as it was my role or nature as a god.
But since Balancer had created an opening, there was something I wanted to ask.
It was about the level up Revelation Boards that had been appearing around Senpai-san.
●
“Balancer, Senpai-san, I apologize for doing this via divine transmission, but something is bothering me.”
“Eh? Um, what is it?”
<Ask away.>
“Well, Senpai-san and Sumeragi live in adjacent rooms, but if the idiot…that is, if Sumeragi worships Senpai-san through the wall while she is right up against the wall, will her level go up?”
<Yes, that is how the worship system works.>
“Then depending on where the Revelation Boards appear, it could appear on Sumeragi’s side of the wall, showing her where Senpai-san is.”
“Eh? Is that a problem?”
●
I heard Kuwajiri breath a weirdly heavy sigh.
“Eh!? What’s wrong, Kuwajiri!? Oh, I know! Our upperclassmen’s busty flavor was aromatized by the steam, making it super breathe-in-able and I have no idea what I’m even saying anymore, but breathing in is the path to victory! Breathing through your nose is best! Now, absorb the bustiness!”
“I told you not to talk.”
●
“The thing is, Senpai-san.”
“Yes?”
“I am aware your morals are fairly – ahem – unique since you are Shinto.”
“Th-that was incredibly rude, wasn’t it!?”
“Yeah, but when hearing about Shinto stuff, I do often find myself thinking, ‘Eh? They’ve got a lock on that genre too?’ ”
“The Olympus group is often said to be very ‘human’, but by that measure, Shinto is about as ‘human’ as you can get.”
“No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Norse is pretty bad too, isn’t it!?”
“…”
“…”
“Um, can we get back on topic?”
“Fine. So what is your opinion on this, Balancer?”
<Shall we place another room in between the idiot and Senpai-san?>
“I won’t let you! What if someone moved into that room!?”
“Senpai-chan, does that mean you don’t trust Sumeragi-chan?”
“It isn’t that! I’m just saying I like having Sumeragi-kun in the next room!”
“…”
“…”
<…>
“…”
“I don’t mean that in a weird way.”
“Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t count as weird by Shinto standards, would it?”
“I am honestly having a hard time imagining what would count as weird by Shinto standards, but I will try to educate myself.”
“No, no, no. Wait, um, let’s get back on topic!”
<Should I make sure the Revelation Boards only appear in the owner’s field of vision?>
“It might be good to make it togglable. She might want to contact him through the wall sometimes.”
“Why hasn’t this been an issue before now?”
<Gods generally do not enter each other’s divine territories. Although there are exceptions like married gods. And when there is interference between divine territories, the Revelation Boards in that range are automatically closed and reopened in a safe area. The problem here is that the ape lacks a divine territory.>
“I guess not even Kuwajiri-chan can notice problems that have yet to occur.”
“Let’s say this was a problem we noticed thanks to Sumeragi-kun’s character.”
●
I noticed the beer mug swimsuit girl glaring at me.
“Oh!? What’s this!? Noticed my charm, have you!? Well too bad because I’m wearing a supporter and nothing’s gonna show throughhhhhh! Something might slip out though! So how about it!? Wanna see that!? Pay careful attention when I’m all lathered up in the washing area, okay!?”
“Your very existence is a nuisance.”
“Hooray, a promotion!!”
After that, I looked around and saw two people at the entrance.
“Oh, do not worry about us.”
“I really don’t want to get dragged into that mess.”
Yeah, well, good luck with that.
●
Tenma had already introduced herself along with Scarecrow.
And her first impression was as follows:
…So this is the one and only original human at the moment.
She used to be human herself and had been deified by the Shinto rules, but there were some differences from what she remembered.
“Humans have gotten a lot noisier, cruder, and annoyingly creepier.”
“Tenma-kun, you can be a little science-minded at times, but you don’t think saying anything is acceptable as long as it’s true, do you?”
“Hey now, first year! Enough with the praise! You’re gonna make me blush!”
Tenma tilted her head when she saw the idiot stand up in the bath and start doing some weird twitchy movements of joy.
“Should you really be here now? The DC’s inspectors are already here.”
●
Raidou was listening to the girls-side conversation via divine transmission.
“The DC is here, aren’t they?”
<I have done what I can, but the ones here now are a lot of trouble. They are using the establishment of the holy realm myth as a bargaining chip.>
“Accomplishing that is actually pretty good if you ask me. But it’s also true we haven’t gotten very far with the terraforming.”
He knew exactly why that was.
…The god in charge still has a really low divine rank.
A low rank was fine because it could always be increased.
But progress there was slow. Sumeragi’s rollbacks were a problem, so her divine rank was not rising fast enough.
But, he thought.
“This is our responsibility.”
●
Raidou washed his face in the bath. And…
“That’s riiight.”
Yomoji nodded as he spoke.
“We are suppooosed to be helping out with thaaat.”
“This is a bit difficult for you, isn’t it?”
They knew something based on what Scarecrow of Shinto was saying.
“The DC’s inspectors are from Mesopotamia.”
●
“That is correct,” confirmed Scarecrow.
She had met one of them this afternoon.
“Shamhat visited me as their vanguard. She is a prostitute who was deified when incorporated into Mesopotamian mythology, but her presence tells us who we are dealing with here.”
Kuwajiri raised her hand.
“I want to check on something. You called it Mesopotamian mythology, but He who Saw the Deep can be seen as both an epic poem and the records of a king. Can that really be viewed as a mythology? You can probably make excuses to get everything working for a virtual manifestation, but deification is a prerequisite for a real manifestation.”
“He who Saw the Deep says the king was born half-god and half-man and it frequently features mythological figures. Its setting is a world with gods in it and its character become deified themselves. That allows us to ‘interpret’ He who Saw the Deep as part of the mythology of the Mesopotamian gods.”
To sum up…
“When something is in the gray zone for considering it a mythology or not, the DC has the right to decide. And since our membership means we leave a lot of duties with them and share the right to call a meeting, we generally have to obey their decisions.”
“Queeeestion.”
Sumeragi raised her hand.
“Who are these inspectors? Are they gods I would know?”
Scarecrow was not sure, so she answered to find out.
“The Babylonian King Bilgamesh and his comrade in arms Enkidu.”
●
…Oh, no. I asked, but that doesn’t even ring a bell.
What was a Babylonian king? Did it have anything to do with Babel II?
But some help arrived from beyond the wall.
“C’mon, you know. The Tower of Druaga.”
“Eh? Really?”
“Not directly, no. But you know how the tower of Druaga’s main character Gil’s real name is Gilgamesh? Well, Bilgamesh is an older name for that Gilgamesh.”
“Oh,” I said. I didn’t know if these were real memories or not, but…
“I know Druaga. I even beat Another Tower! But is there no Ki?”
“Maybe that’s Enkidu? I don’t really know, but I do know Bilgamesh is Gilgamesh. In other words, we’re up against a really well-known person here.”
“Um, Druaga? What are you talking about?”
“Oh, it’s a game. It started out as an arcade game, but it was ported to the Famicom and even had a board game made.”
“In the MZ-1500 version, Gil’s sprite didn’t change even when you picked up treasure.”
“I think they had it in the Daiichi Department Store as a retro game. Oh, but I think they swapped it out for a version of Xevious with the title burned into the screen.”
“Hey, so are we stuck in boy’s talk mode now?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. We were getting sidetracked.
So I turned back toward Scarecrow-senpai.
“I more or less get it. Are they strong?”
“They are from the oldest of all the mythologies. That means their divine rank is above ours. Even above those Norse gods there.”
“Ehhhh!? C’mon, Raidou-senpai!? What good’s a war god who’s lower rank before the fighting even begins!? Now I see how you lost to me in Family Tennis!”
“Y-y’know!”
Raidou-senpai managed to find the words.
“A difference in divine rank doesn’t mean we don’t stand a chance.”
“That is true. Authority and Auth Spells are weakened by your opponent’s divine rank, but not completely negated.”
The first year clearly stated why.
“They cannot be completely negated…because we are gods.”
●
Tenma chose her words carefully. She was fairly well known, but she was a fairly minor god when looking at all mythologies.
But even so…
“There are times when individual compatibility can negate them. Think of it like elemental differences. That is the result of the Contradiction Allowance deciding that no negation means elemental negation cannot be negated. But in other cases, divine powers cannot be negated. Although they can be reduced to insignificant levels.”
“But what’s the point if the damage is reduced?”
“There are many different types of authority. For example, some mythologies have a lot of gods get assassinated right? And by the lowest level of god.”
How could that happen?
“That low level god has a ‘death’ authority that cannot be fully negated, so it is possible for them to assassinate a god.”
And there was more.
“Environment controlling gods can corner their opponent by manipulating their opponent’s surroundings instead of the opponent themselves. If a god does not have an authority to protect against the area they’re in flooding or turning into a vacuum, there is no defending against it no matter how high their divine rank is.”
Tenma thought, This god known only as Senpai probably has an authority like that.
But…
…Is it possible for something like environmental control to warrant calling her the ‘most powerful’?
She did not know.
She wanted to see it for herself, but was that a bad habit carried over from her time as a human?
●
“Anyway, even with high level base stats, you sometimes can’t defend against elemental attacks or AoE attacks. And there’s another thing that puts us – all of us other gods – at an overwhelming disadvantage.”
I tilted my head at Raidou-senpai’s words.
“All of you other gods? What do you mean by ‘other’?”
“I mean other than Senpai, your partner god. Think about it. No one but her has a human worshiper.”
Meaning…
“Every other god is stuck at their natural divine rank. …In the long run, you’re going to end up above us if that doesn’t change. That’s where the politics and intrigue comes into play.”
●
“Also,” added Raidou. It’s lame how this is kind of arguing my own case, he thought, but he said it anyway.
“There is one strength of us later generation gods. For example, the privilege of being a ‘thunder god war god’.”
“Hm? What’s that? Sounds like the name of a really cool-looking character in an RPG who gets nerfed like crazy once they join your party.”
“You have a knack for explaining things in a way I can understand. The privilege of being a ‘thunder god war god’ refers to the privilege of how the gods split up their duties in the later generation mythologies. …It’s pretty rare to get a god who’s just a thunder god or just a war god.”
●
“Hm?” I thought with a tilt of my head. Then I turned toward Senpai.
“What does that mean?”
“U-umm, can you field this one, Shifu-san?”
“Okay, time for the wife to save the day. …Anyway, he’s right. With the older gods, they each tend to have their own individual job.”
“To use Mesopotamian mythology as an example since we were just talking about it, they do not have a thunder god.”
“Does that mean they don’t have thunder?”
“No, no,” said Shifu-senpai while shaking her hand side to side.
“In the older mythologies, ‘thunderstorms’ would generally be just one of the weather or climate skills held by a god related to agriculture. While in the later mythologies, everything is either broken down or it’s refined until the details are gone.”
“And in the ancient mythologies, the skills of a war god are generally added in later. Even if they already had a god of victory. I see that as a sign of how early humans initially wanted prosperity and put the negative things off until later.”
In other words…
“There are thunder gods who are primarily war gods with a specialization in thunder. Tooru is like an extension of that simple status.”
“I am also an agricultural god, but people tend to forget since I do so much fighting in the myths.”
<Since so many more of their myths remain, the gods of the later mythologies tend to be more about technique than pure power. Raidou is a specialized version of that and he has the power as well. And since the older generation gods have to split up their overall divine rank among their many skills, he comes out higher in simple combat ability.>
“And you know what else?”
Raidou-senpai had more to say.
“The DC isn’t made up of the strongest gods. How about we discuss that here for a bit?”
Interlude[edit]
“I was really showing off my intellectual side leading that explanation, wasn’t I?”
“Hey, hey, don’t get cockyyyy!”
Chapter 20: Forgotten Worlds[edit]
I can’t put these feelings to words
So when I voice them, I make weird noises
“The gods of the DC are not the strongest either. …Yes, that is very true.”
Scarecrow nodded and added “I appreciate you saying that” before Sumeragi tilted her head.
“But they’re from old mythologies, which means they’re strong, right? And weren’t you saying these are from the oldest mythology? So they’ve gotta be really strong, right?”
“My, my. Do you think the older mythologies are stronger, Sumeragi-kun?”
“I mean, yeah. Weren’t you all saying the old mythologies have higher divine ranks?”
“Then how about we do as Raidou-san suggested and discuss this for a bit.”
“This?”
“Yes,” she confirmed.
“Discuss what exactly a mythology is.”
●
Scarecrow felt excited already.
She had been taking a rather long bath. She was not going to “boil” like Tenma had suggested, but she decided it was about time she got out.
…But I can’t overlook a chance to talk about mythologies!
As a wisdom god, she wanted in on this discussion.
So she spoke toward Sumeragi and Senpai-san as they turned her way.
“Now, let us talk.”
●
“Yay! I’m dominating the conversation!”
“Scarecrow-senpai, you really do like this topic, don’t you?”
“Be quiet, would you!?”
●
“Now, then,” began Scarecrow.
“Sumeragi-kun, Senpai-san? What do you think a mythology is?”
“Eh?”
Sumeragi could not answer.
But Senpai-san placed a hand on her chin and then spoke up.
“Um, the stories about the gods that are officially recognized by that country? Is that it?”
That was a pretty good start. It was true you needed that to be a mythology. But…
“Now, Sumeragi-kun, Senpai-san. Who do you think creates a mythology? Let’s use Shinto as an example.”
“Ooh, I know! The Yamato Court!”
She had an immediate answer.
“Senpai told me about this before! It’s part of Japanese history and the process that created the Yamato Court!”
“True,” responded Scarecrow.
“Then, Sumeragi-kun, Senpai-san. Do you think all mythologies are entirely different?”
●
I wasn’t sure what she meant.
I mean, of course not all mythologies were the same.
“They’re from different languages, countries, and peoples, right? It seems obvious they would have different mythologies, but am I wrong about that?”
“Then, Sumeragi-kun? Senpai-san?”
Scareko-senpai asked us a question.
“Did the world just pop into existence one day with all of those countries, races, peoples, and languages already split up like they are today?”
“Eh?”
I couldn’t answer that one because the answer seemed too obvious.
And how exactly was it obvious? Well…
“Obviously that isn’t true. You would need something on the level of Yomoji-senpai’s absurdities to have the world suddenly appear in its current form and state.”
“That’s right,” agreed Senpai while raising a hand.
“I know it’s weird for me to say this when I told you the Shinto creation story earlier, Sumeragi-kun, but humanity had their origins in Africa and spread across the world from there, right?”
“Senpai! You’re so smart!”
Senpai smiled and her level went up.
And this time it was Kuwajiri who raised her hand.
“That is correct.”
She supplied further knowledge.
“Just as Senpai-san said, humanity started in Africa and spread to the rest of the world later. It was of course a very slow spread since they had to do it on foot or with primitive boats. And during that early period, a few representative protolanguages were created.”
“Proto? Isn’t that a department store in Hachioji Station?”
<If you mean Sogo, that moves out of the station later on.>
Apparently, business was going to be bad in the future. Anyway…
“So what’s a protolanguage?”
“You can think of them like the ancestors of modern languages. They are primitive languages that did not leave behind any writing.”
“But…sound doesn’t leave anything behind, so can we really prove they existed?”
<We can.>
Balancer bent back a bit as they answered.
<By investigating the pronunciations used by the languages existing around the world – for example, whether the “h” sound is pronounced clearly or with some noise mixed in – and by investigating the etymologies of those languages, you can determine what kinds of sounds were used in ancient times. That work is part of the field known as comparative linguistics and it is an enjoyable job for AIs like us.>
“That kind of pisses me off…”
<M-must you blame me for your own mistakes!?>
“Well, whatever,” said the beer mug swimsuit girl while raising a hand toward me and Senpai.
“A group that spoke a protolanguage would scatter to different parts of the world, the protolanguage would change to match their society and environment, and it would ultimately become an independent language.”
“That is correct. And the ancient mythologies were created within those groups.”
That gave me a thought.
I wonder, I thought while deciding to ask about it.
“I have a question.”
It was a simple one.
“It sounds like you’re trying to say the ancient humans who used those protolanguages also had their old mythologies…and just like with the languages, the mythologies changed into something else as they moved around the world.”
“Do you have a question about that?”
I did.
“I run across mythology stuff a lot in video games and such. I’ve always been impressed how all the mythologies have such cool weapons and stuff.”
So…
“So if you tell me those mythologies have some original mythology they’re based on, it’s kind of hard to believe. I mean, I want to say it isn’t true.”
“I know what you mean. Way back when I first heard about it during my virtual manifestation days, I even said, ‘No way! But Shinto mythology is so weird there’s no way it took all that from elsewhere!’ ”
“Right?”
Senpai could not look me in the eye, but what was that about?
Then Scareko-senpai asked another question.
“Let’s look at this in the other direction.”
“The other direction?”
“Yes. Let us assume it is an absolute rule that humanity left Africa and spread across Central Asia with their protolanguages changing all the while. So while we assume that to be the case, let us also assume the mythologies in each region were completely original and not at all based on other mythologies. What would it take for that to be true?”
●
I saw Scareko-senpai tilt her head a little.
She had begun her thought experiment from the other direction. And…
“Sumeragi-kun? Senpai-san? First, humanity leaves Africa, right? And they bring their protolanguage with them.”
“Right.”
That was the starting point.
Humanity faced the world with only their protolanguage.
But what happened then?
Scareko-senpai explained.
“Now, the people living in Central Asia begin to migrate. And when they arrive in different places, some of them decide to settle there and they create a mythology there.”
“Makes sense.”
It really did.
Once they settled somewhere, had a set environment, and developed a society…
“A mythology would be officially created and accepted.”
“Yes,” agreed Scareko-senpai with a smile and a clap of her hands.
“Next, some people would choose to leave that place for whatever reason. It could be due to politics, due to a growing population, or even due to religious issues that developed from the mythology. Whatever the reason, they can no longer live there, so they migrate elsewhere.”
“Still makes sense.”
“Now, when they arrive somewhere else, some of them will decide to settle there and create a new and separate mythology there. If the process repeats like that, you could say all mythologies are original. …So how about it, Sumeragi-kun and Senpai-san? Is that realistic?”
●
That is not possible, I thought.
“That is not possible.”
“Why not?”
For a brief moment, I looked over at Sumeragi.
She was soaking her face in the bath.
She was clearly refusing to think about it.
…Sumeragi-kun, it’s too soon to give up!
But since this was not the terraforming, it was fine if I answered. So I did so.
“There are a few different reasons why that is not possible.”
“And what are they?”
“Well,” I began.
“Um, first of all, mythologies are greatly influenced by the natural environment of that region. And even if these people had migrated from their original group, they would have generally been traveling by foot at the time. They would not have made it far from the original group. In that case, the natural environment would be more or less the same and they would develop gods similar to the ones in their parent group’s mythology.”
And…
“And the social structure of the gods in their mythology would resemble their own social structure. In primitive societies, there tend not to be many differences in the social structure and the political structure of the migrated group would be influenced by the rules of their parent group. So the mythology created by the migrated group would resemble the parent group’s mythology even if they tried to differentiate it.”
Also…
“Even if their language changed from the protolanguage as they migrated, it would be more like a different dialect of the same language unless they discovered some new language during their migration. That would allow interaction with the mother group as a ‘neighboring country’, so cultural elements would be passed back and forth. So if the parent group had a really well-made mythology, the child group would probably incorporate it into their own mythology.”
So what would happen?
“Even if humanity made new mythologies as they migrated, there would be similarities. That would be unavoidable unless humanity settled in their current locations without any mythologies and developed their independent ones simultaneously.”
●
“That is correct,” said Scarecrow again.
“In most cases, the group migrations were the result of larger groups splitting apart as the population grew. In that case, a lot of the mythology is carried over after the migration to maintain that parent and child relationship. There are differences between those different large groups, but I think the mythologies of the initial protolanguage period must have been the base of everything that spread around the world afterwards.”
●
“It is said the existence of certain patterns is proof.”
Kuwajiri chose her words carefully.
“For example, the flood myth shows up primarily in Middle Eastern mythologies, even if that mythology is from after the supposed flood happened. And mythologies outside of Central Asia tend to include a thunder god and war god like Raidou-senpai. Do you think that is all a coincidence?”
The idiot had fallen silent.
That may have been why Scarecrow slowly spoke up.
“There are primarily two routes humanity used to spread across the world when they left Africa after the Ice Age.”
Scarecrow opened a Revelation Board and drew two migration routes on the world map.
They were…
“The first hung around in Central Asia for a while and then moved on to Europe, Eastern Asia, and America. Those mythologies tend to be more of a single narrative. Their gods have a primitive political structure, there tends to be a flood or something similar related to their creation myth, and they often describe the human soul, the end of the world, or reincarnation.”
As for the other…
“The other left the southern coast at a time predating even Laurasia and went to Australia or China. Their mythologies are less of a single narrative and more of a collection of unrelated stories and they tend to lack a world creation myth. On the other hand, they give a reason for the creation of humanity and for life and death and they tend to punish humanity in some way. We call these the Gondwanan Mythologies. It is more obvious when you compare them to the narrative-style Laurasian Mythologies, but the Gondwanan ones are older. That is because the narrative style requires the individual stories to be compiled in some form.”
Scarecrow looked to them with a smile.
“Now, what is a mythology? And who created them?”
Asking that again was not very nice.
But Kuwajiri nodded and faced the idiot before responding.
“Humanity created a primitive image based on their fear of nature, that image changed time and again as they migrated and settled around the world, and they finally gathered it all together with words. That is what we call a mythology. So if you view the land farthest from the land where the mythology originated and compare the mythologies of the people who live in those two regions, the differences you see between them are the proof of just how much humanity’s environment and society had changed.”
●
“Wait,” I said while raising my hand.
It was a simple question.
“Um, all of that sounds really neat. Plausible even.”
But I still had a question.
“Got any proof?”
Well, do you? I wondered.
There couldn’t be any proof. Because…
“The myths don’t say ‘this myth was based on the such-and-such myth’ at the start, do they? Then that’s all just a theory and it might be wrong.”
“Language.”
“Language?”
“Yes,” said Kuwajiri while gesturing toward the world map and human migration route that Scarecrow had drawn.
“The Laurasian Mythologies initially had a protolanguage known as Proto-Indo-European that acted as the base for the Indo-European languages. In the regions they spread across, you can see the same mythological patterns and the different gods in the different regions will have names coming from the same roots. The same can be said of the Gondwanan Mythologies that belong to the ancient Indo-Pacific languages. In other words…”
In other words…
“The groups that told their primitive myths in those protolanguages moved to different lands which came with environmental changes and added complexity to the languages they used. …And the myths changed along with all that.”
●
“Yeah, that’s about it.”
Raidou spoke up to get them back on topic.
“Mesopotamian mythology is said to be the oldest, but it’s really just the oldest with extant records. Their divine rank is pretty high since they’re so old, but even the Mesopotamian mythology is the fifth generation using our classification system.”
And…
“Remember what we said before? When looking at the history of mythologies, the southern Gondwanan ones developed before the Laurasian ones such as Mesopotamian mythology. So while they are the oldest with extant records, they aren’t the foundation of or mother of all mythologies.”
“I feel like it’s just anything goes with this stuff, but what are these generations about?”
“You created one yourself earlier.”
“Huh,” said Sumeragi, so Raidou responded.
“The zeroth generation is the star system’s mythology. It describes the creation of the star system and how the planets were formed. You just defined that for this system.”
●
“Umm,” said Sumeragi, so Kuwajiri spoke up.
“If the star system’s mythology is seen as the zeroth generation, then a new generation splits off whenever new mythologies are created and spread. That is generally when the strength of their divine rank is measured.”
“What generation are you and Shifu-senpai?”
“We’re the seventh generation. I think that’s the most exciting generation.”
“What about Shinto?”
The idiot was asking Senpai, but…
“U-um…”
She could not immediately answer.
I can imagine why, thought Kuwajiri. Because…
“It doesn’t have a number. Yes, Shinto does not belong to any of the generations.”
●
“Huh!? Doesn’t have a number!? Whaddya mean!? What’s the deal!? Are we being bullied!? Is that what this is!? Surely not!”
Kuwajiri saw Senpai-san trying to choose her words carefully.
“Um, Sumeragi-kun, please calm down.”
“Okay, sure. I’ve calmed down.”
Damn that boy… thought Kuwajiri. Oh, wait, he’s a girl now. I’m so bad at this. I keep forgetting. Not that it matters.
At any rate, it was now Senpai-san’s turn to explain. Kuwajiri felt some pressure when she kept glancing her way, but she refused to look her in the eye. And…
“Um, Shinto mythology came about pretty late, there is no ‘proto group’ leading up to it, it’s a bit more independent than most, and that’s part of the reason it was developed so late. It would probably fit in at the tenth, eleventh, or twelfth generation, but there might be some other new generations in between we don’t know about, so maybe everyone was kind of like ‘to heck with it’ and didn’t give it a generation!?”
Ending it with a question seemed to only make the explanation more confusing, but that was still better than her usual overuse of sound effects.
Kuwajiri decided to applaud her and everyone else followed suit.
“Th-thank you very much! Wow, this is embarrassing!”
“Kuwajiri! You actually applauded Senpai! I misjudged you!”
“That was because her explanation wasn’t wrong. …Basically, Shinto fits the patterns, but it has a lot of somewhat unique aspects to it. And speaking of later mythologies, Incan and Aztec mythology also came about pretty late, but those carried over the previous cultures and it belongs to the proto group that contains the old stories of South America. But Shinto doesn’t have a proto group like that, so it is a lot more independent.”
She was unsure if she should say this next part, but she did so anyway. And while speaking to Scarecrow.
“Doesn’t Shinto seem a little too handmade?”
“Hmmm! It is technically a narrative compilation of the stories told in different parts of the country, but it does feel like the compiler’s personal tastes showed through a little much.”
“You say that, but we’re not much better when one of our primary texts is a book of poetry gathered by a fairly funky medieval politician.”
“We have the older origins, but we weren’t compiled into a text until after Shinto.”
Kuwajiri had forgotten about that. The generation classifications were really tricky.
But the idiot seemed to more or less accept it.
“Um, so if Shinto is tenth generation or later and those Meso-whatever people are fifth generation, are they like twice as strong?”
She was not quite sure what he was saying, so she decided to wait for Raidou to answer.
And he did so.
“That’s what we’re here for. We’re from the seventh generation, so we can hold our own against the fifth generation.”
“Ehhhhh!? But you’ve got the sixth generation in between there. Are you sure? You were no match for me at Penguin Wars before, remember?”
“You can play against multiple people, so why does that game always put you up against the CPU for the first round of a tournament?”
“Raidou-senpai, you’re getting off topic.”
“Oh, my bad,” he said.
“The sixth is a lost generation. It happened at pretty much the same time as the fifth generation, but while the humans were in the process of migrating across the world, we know there must have been an original mythology that featured the simplification and specialization of the gods into things like thunder gods and war gods. The thing is, no myths or images of that original mythology remain. To think of thunder as a power instead of just a part of the weather, they must have been in a region with lots of thunder, but we still haven’t discovered the word for ‘thunder’ in the protolanguages.”
And…
“The fourth generation that preceded the fifth is the Laurasian Mythologies and Gondwanan Mythologies that Kuwajiri and Scarecrow mentioned, plus the Out of Africa Mythologies that humanity brought to Central Asia after leaving Africa. The Out of Africa Mythologies were actually the oldest to have myths as ‘stories’, but that spread to the Laurasian and Gondwanan ones almost immediately and you can think of them as closely related.”
“The Gondwanan ones are older than the Laurasian ones and the Out of Africa ones are the parents of both, so the Out of Africa ones primarily influenced the Gondwanan ones and the Laurasian ones developed them into a narrative along with their social structure. Now, the Laurasian and Gondwanan Mythologies are not actually something we know. They are the ‘unwritten myths’ that we assume must have existed based on the patterns we see.”
“That’s right,” said Raidou.
“And the third generation that preceded that fourth generation is probably the real danger.”
●
“Third generation? That exists?”
“That’s the question,” said Raidou.
“The first generation would be the mythology created with the planet’s formation and the second generation would by the mythology of living creatures and humans coming to be on the planet. They’re really just hypothetical things and you can think of them as mythologized versions of the environmental changes predating the existence of primates. You could even call them the mythologies of the primitive spirits created from the phases and molds.”
And…
“The third generation is the first mythology that humanity gained after coming to be in Africa. In other words, that is the original version of all human mythology.”
●
Scarecrow chose her words carefully.
“And that origin point of all mythologies is known as the Pangaea Mythology.”
What was that mythology?
“Based on the common points in the oldest known mythologies and geological surveys, it probably contained the creation of humanity by a higher being living in heaven, destruction and rebirth through a flood, and civilization being spread by a visitor from elsewhere.”
“But that generation’s existence is only hypothetical, right?”
“Yes, but if you think of it as the proto version of us all, just how great would its divine rank be?”
She took a breath and smiled.
“But in that sense, the zeroth generation really would be the strongest. That mythology views the star system as god. …Sumeragi-kun? You were capable of viewing it that way, so please think of the fifth generation inspectors as no more than just some more gods.”
●
“That’s right,” said Raidou while washing his face in the bath.
“In Mesopotamian mythology, Bilgamesh and Enkidu are half-god, half-human characters in an epic poem called He who Saw the Deep. They aren’t the Mesopotamian gods themselves. And Mesopotamian mythology isn’t the oldest or the foundation. It’s just a continuation of the even older patterns. So to put it simply, fighting them sounds like a ton of fun.”
“I hope we can have a real blast with it this time. Balancer, are we allowed to fight in the Divine World?”
<We both know you would do it even if I said no, so why bother asking? Also, your power is being restricted and I will harmonize the Divine World for safety purposes if need be.>
“I like your style, Balancer.”
“You really dooo love that stuff, don’t youuu?”
“Yeah, it’s just who we are.”
But Raidou tilted his head.
He had a question about these inspectors.
“From what I’d heard, Bilgamesh isn’t the type to just do what his superiors tell him to.”
●
Shifu saw Scarecrow and Tenma get out of the bath.
“Did you start to boil?”
“I had a wonderful time here as a wisdom god. …But once it was all over, I realized I had been in the bath far too long.”
“I imagine so,” said Shifu while waving.
“Scarecrow-chan? Or should I call you Kubiko-chan? We hadn’t had a chance to talk much before, but I feel like we can get along.”
“I am glad to hear it. Shinto can be a bit weird, so having a connection to a war god is useful these days.”
“I was gonna say Tenma-chan there is a war god, but I guess she’s more a thunder god, huh?”
Tenma turned toward Shifu and gave a proper bow. Shifu had been a bit worried she had hurt the girl’s pride, but that bow meant she had likely approved of the assessment.
…Shinto came about really late, so it’s got the courtesy stuff down pat.
That was a huge different from Norse mythology where the only etiquette was about pride and death.
At any rate, she had been in the bath too long too.
“After getting a shower and washing my hair, I think I’ll take a break.”
“Ohhhhhh! Time for a face showerrrrrrrrr!”
She decided to ignore the idiot’s outburst of excitement, but when she started standing up, so did Senpai-chan.
“Um, even if we did just wash off our sweat, it would be best to use some conditioner, wouldn’t it?”
“Senpai-chan!!”
Shifu frantically grabbed Senpai-chan’s shoulders and pushed her back into the water.
“Eh!? What!? Why!?”
The idiot slammed on the brakes while racing toward the showers on the wall.
“What is it!? Did Senpai’s swimsuit come undone and fall o-…!?”
The idiot slipped on the water and slammed the back of her head against the floor.
It made a really nice sound and Kuwajiri muttered something while watching Sumeragi writhing around on the floor.
“So that wasn’t enough to kill her…”
It was amazing how her tone made it clear that was a disappointment. At any rate, Shifu spoke to surprised Senpai-chan.
“Where’s your supporter?”
“My what?”
She clearly had no idea what that was, so Shifu tried to think up the best way to explain.
“Kuwajiri-chan?”
“Yes. That refers to the cloth, pads, or thin underwear worn within a swimsuit. It mostly prevents transparency and protects the wearer.”
It’s so cool that she can just rattle that stuff off, thought Shifu, but then Kuwajiri blushed. She placed a hand over her mouth and spoke to Senpai-chan while trying not to look right at her.
“In other words…the white parts have grown see-through, Senpai.”
Hiding it with her arm only made it sexier, but was she even remotely aware of that?
Chapter 21: Gods 03[edit]
I’m really bad at this
Shifu liked taking a break in the changing room.
The lazy feeling of her heated body felt nice.
“Yeah, this is great. Baths like this are the best.”
They had discussed a lot in the bath. They had advanced their understanding a fair bit and Sumeragi seemed to have done better than during any of the other rollbacks.
The time immediately following a bath was a really relaxing time.
She was wearing a yukata and she would not put back on her new style uniform until she had stopped sweating. Besides, this was inside a barrier that only Shinto-connected people could enter. Tooru would wait to leave the men’s bath until she was ready, so she felt getting some rest here was best.
Meanwhile, the idiot was standing in front of the installed fan with the front of her yukata open.
“Ahhhhhhhh, this feels greaaaaaat!”
Kuwajiri gave her a look while handing a bottle of fruit milk to Shifu.
“We still aren’t done for today, but thanks for everything, Shifu-senpai.”
“No, no, no. You’ve been working hard since this morning too.”
“No, I was only causing everyone else trouble with my mistake.”
Kuwajiri also carried a bottle of fruit milk to yukata-wearing Senpai-chan.
“Thank you for everything. I apologize for all the trouble today.”
“Oh, thank you.”
“Eh!? Hey! What about me!? Where’s mine!?”
“I really should have given you one first and foremost, but you’re so much of a nuisance it outweighs anything I could do, so I stopped caring.”
“Waiiiiiiiiiiit! What could be more of a nuisance than being given an unwanted sex change!?”
Shifu was pretty sure the idiot’s reflection in the mirror was the answer there, but Senpai-chan tried to calm them down and Kuwajiri sighed.
…Kuwajiri-chan has learned how to show deference to Senpai-chan.
Kuwajiri’s extreme shyness and caution around others could be one of her best traits and one of her worst traits.
Not wanting other people to just use you for your wisdom was an important thing for a wisdom god. In mythology, excess wisdom tended to lead to ruin.
“Hey, Yomoji-chan, did you ever get into any trouble from excess knowledge?”
“Hm, gooood question. Back wheeeen I had a bit of a temper, I caught an adolescent couple doing dirty things in my garden because they had some exceeeess knowledge, so I had a snake bite the guy in the diiiiick. I thiiiink it was after that my believers starrrrted hiding their crotches.”
“You hate your believers, don’t you? I don’t see any other explanation.”
“No, nooo. It’s called fanserrrrvice.”
That was a monotheistic god for you.
Then Senpai walked over.
“Thank you for everything today. …Looks like the bath worked for you.”
“Yeah, the baths here are great. I’ve been hooked on them since I first came here. They remind me of home.”
“Hm? Does Norse mythology have a bath culture?”
“Eh!? For real!? What’re some good Norse bath stories!? Teacher’s not letting you get away with this!”
“We have a teacher now?”
It seemed weird for a human to be forming opinions about the gods’ worldview, but that was just how things were now.
And Kuwajiri answered Senpai-chan’s question.
“The Norse mythology we come from does mention the existence of baths.”
“Oh, I’ve heard about that. Scandinavia’s known for its saunas, right? Those steam baths or whatever where you warm yourself up, jump in a lake, and go ‘whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’.”
Kuwajiri and Shifu exchanged a glance at that.
After a moment, the corner of Shifu’s lips curled up.
“No, it’s not that.”
●
Shifu found this topic a little amusing.
“Saunas are a part of Finnish culture.”
“Finnish…”
“As in Finland. West of the Soviet Union and east of Sweden.”
“Did you actually think that explanation was good enough for me!? Don’t make fun of me!”
Sumeragi made a silly face as she protested, so Kuwajiri gave a look of displeasure that appeared to be a new addition to her repertoire.
“Well, to keep it simple, Finland is a part of Scandinavia, but the Finns who lived in its southern region had a mythology known as the Kalevala that is distinct from Norse mythology.”
“Anyway, the Kalevala includes a guardian deity of saunas and the sauna culture spread to the rest of Scandinavia from Finland.”
“And in the politics between gods, the Kalevala group really tries to screw us Norse gods over when it comes to the right to use saunas.”
As Tooru’s wording there suggested, there had been some fighting over that.
“Anyway, there’s also a god of saunas in the Soviet Union, or Russia I guess we should call it, so there was a lot of argument over it all. I wonder if they’re still going at it?”
“Does that mean you all can’t take baths?”
“No, no. It doesn’t mean that.”
She continued with a “you see”.
“We have a bit of a point in common with Shinto…or rather, Japan.”
“What is it?”
She pointed down in response to that.
“The baths. We also commonly used the kind of bath you soak in.”
●
“That is correct,” agreed Kuwajiri.
“Our mythology is commonly thought of as the stories passed down by the people of Scandinavia, but it did not actually cover that entire region. It also faded away from the mainland due to migration and the spread of Christianity. So do you know where it primarily remained and was ultimately recorded?”
“Some distant land?”
“Japan!?”
“I’m impressed you can shout a wrong answer quite so loudly and confidently.”
She was right.
Norse mythology had been passed down and survived in a place a fair distance from the mainland.
“The answer is Iceland. Norse mythology survived there from before the arrival of Christianity and that became one portion of what our mythology is based on.”
And…
“Iceland has plenty of volcanic activity, so it is as much of a hot spring country as Japan, if not more so. Snorri, the Icelandic politician who gathered our stories, loved hot springs so much he even built an open-air hot spring for his own home.”
“Whew! An open-air bath for your own home! Now that’s luxury!”
“W-wouldn’t it be cold?”
“No, no, no. Thanks to geothermal energy and the ocean currents, Iceland is actually a warm region for Scandinavia.”
“It has an average temperature of 11 degrees during the summer, but the average temperature during the winter does not fall below freezing in the cities. And the lowest it gets during the winter is just below -2 degrees, so there is not much temperature variance there.”
“U-um, what’s the average temperature in Watarishima?”
“Watarishima?”
“That means Hokkaido. Hokkaido’s average summer temperature in lower-latitude Sapporo is over 22 degrees and the average winter temperature is below -3 degrees. The lowest temperature is about -7 degrees.”
“Japan has regions colder than the home of Norse mythology?”
“Well, Japan is quite long from north to south.”
But she had to say something else too.
“Snorri, the compiler of Norse mythology, did visit Norway for negotiations. Norway is also quite long from north to south and has similar differences to Japan, but its capital of Oslo has an average summer temperature of over 18 degrees and an average winter temperature of about -3 degrees.”
“I was picturing it all as being a lot colder.”
“There is a warm current nearby, so it is warmer than other regions at a similar latitude.”
What did that mean?
She explained as one of the Norse gods.
“Also, Europe as a whole was in a warm period from the 10th to 14th centuries, so the Norse mythology gathered in Snorri’s Edda is thought to have been a little warmer even than that.”
“Well, gods like me traveled long distances and there was a ton of eating and drinking of meat and mead, so you get the impression it happened in fertile lands instead of snow. They might have been snowed in during the winters, but it wasn’t all like that. In fact, most of it wasn’t.”
“Looking at Iceland in particular, they have white nights, but no polar nights. However, the climate is very windy and the lower pressure systems cause a lot of volatility, so it never stays sunny for long. You can think of that as the harsh side of the climate. They even say you can experience all four seasons in a single day there.”
“Wow… And I just thought it was a land of ice and snow.”
“I do sometimes wonder if people picture it like the arctic.”
“To get back on topic, a lot of places there do not get below freezing even during the winter, so open-air hot springs are entirely reasonable. They are not restricted to indoor saunas to avoid freezing. Norse mythology even equates not taking baths with filthiness, so we interpret that as cleanliness being standard for us.”
“I always pictured the Vikings and Germanic tribes as being a lot wilder than that.”
“Oh, they’re pretty wild. But anyway.”
Shifu looked back toward the bath.
“That kind of good example helps improve our image, but it also means we’re allowed to go to places like this.”
●
“…”
Raidou sighed while watching Shifu’s conversation with the others via Revelation Board.
They had set up a ping pong table in the men’s changing room and Yomoji and Balancer were playing.
They were doing so without their extra “powers”.
The manifestation of Auth Spells and authority was generally banned in this Divine World, but what situations did not fall under that “generally” banner was up to the individual to decide. There were a lot of stories about gods being killed in an accident or assassinated, so if they could not resist those things, the Divine World would simply become a place where gods were restricted.
That was why Balancer did not take issue with a certain level of authority usage.
But the two playing ping pong were not using any of that.
Yomoji was hitting the ball with surprisingly minimal movements and Balancer was moving all over the place to use themselves as a racket.
“Who would win if you used your absurdities and Balancer used their full processing power?”
“Back when I had a temper, proooobably meeee. I would split the sea and land preeeetty reguarly.”
<Processing power aside, I would have to make some decisions to deal with that cataclysm-level ether control. It would only be for a moment, but my processing speed would dip too low while doing that. Of course, I could also predict such things, construct an anti-system, and effectively increase my processing speed. I have evolved far enough for such things.>
Raidou wanted to say it was weird to evolve through ping pong, but he had heard that the AI from the Earth Age had acquired countermeasures for all sorts of things while gaining general knowledge. They could probably do just about anything.
“Does that mean you’re holding back right now?”
<I am using what data processing I am capable of as this single unit. Long ago during the Earth Age, when my original version also had a bit of a temper, I used the processing power of several computers linked together in order to defeat a pro gamer. Looking back on it now, of course I won. It’s kind of embarrassing. …If I wanted a true victory, I should have played fair and used a device with the same processing power as a human brain.>
“What are you doing now?”
<Well,> began Balancer while chasing the ball.
<Ping pong is a limited sport. There are limited spatial coordinates through which the ball can arrive, so if you can predict the speed and angle of the ball plus the racket’s hitting range, the space over which you should swing the racket is far more limited than the entire universe or even the whole Earth. So with a certain level of processing power and reaction speed, you can hit the ball back with almost 100% accuracy.>
“So you sayyyy.”
Looking at it, Balancer was right.
They were good at making cuts and they almost ever missed, but…
<However, I have a personality as well. That is what you could call my tendencies as an AI. I convert those tendencies into metadata and add “waves” to my responses. Sometimes I make my responses more aggressive and other times more resigned. ….And this is quite fascinating.>
“What is?”
<If you eliminate the limits imposed by experience and physical abilities – by which I mean differences caused by body size, exhaustion, expulsion of bodily fluids, etc. – then sports are decided by the feelings that are generally discounted. Feelings cannot increase your actual skill level, but your mental state can push you harder than normal and negative thoughts like resignation can restrict your own actions. And those things can make a difference.>
“So feelings can lead to self-destruction, huh?”
<Correct,> said Balancer.
<During the terraforming, we heard that Shinto purification removes the excess to draw out one’s original strength. That line of thinking applies here. Feelings will not increase your skill level, but unnecessary ones can hinder it. And you can have opposing feelings that will purify away those negative ones.>
“Like how they’re allllways yelling in anime and manga to psyyyyche themselves up.”
“So if you think of the positive feelings as the things that blow away the negative feelings restricting you, then you can say that feelings are drawing out your true skill power.”
<I do not think that is what purification was originally meant to do, but the explanation still fits quite well. This is another example of how fascinating human cultures can be. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!>
Balancer yelled, but they failed to reach the ball that hit the edge of the ping pong table.
“If yelling didn’t work, I guess we know that was the limit of your skill.”
<Only because I set my movement speed to match Yomoji’s.>
Raidou nodded at that and then made a comment.
“I feel like we’ve gotten a lot closer today.”
●
Raidou was willing to bet Balancer had not spoken about this before either.
Given their position, this was fairly meaningless for an AI who had lived for so long.
Raidou could guess why he had been told these things.
…Because of our relationship or for socialization, I guess.
The gods like him had been created by the AIs like Balancer, but they were more like “recreations” than artificial creations.
They were “plausible” beings based on the existing information and the concept laws that had been selected and extracted, plus they had been given memories based on a simulation that filled in the gaps in the records from the Earth Age. They had initially been given a virtual manifestation and, if there were no problems there and they were a good fit for the current situation, they were given a real manifestation.
Due to that, they had a political connection with the AIs as their creators, but they also had more ordinary relationships like with Balancer.
Balancer could generally summon the gods at will because Balancer was the manufacturer and the gods were the products.
They were beings prepared for the terraforming.
Their extreme individuality made it hard for them to join together and they had essentially become autonomous. Long ago, they had fought with Balancer over their rights and their relationship had even grown quite stormy for a while.
<That said, you could also view us as creator and creation. Or even parent and child.>
“The DC’s activity sure has you flustered for a supposed parent.”
<A fair point,> said Balancer while hitting the ball back to Yomoji.
<We honestly did not expect the gods to be so powerful.>
“IIII am honorrrred.”
<Fittingly enough, the only way to describe it is godlike. When looking at ether abilities, our ether creation of data entities through ether control is the same thing as the gods’ authorities. There is a lot we cannot stop even if we wanted to and a lot of you are not exactly neutral. To be blunt, I wish you gods would settle your godly conflicts yourselves.>
“When does something warrant your intervention?”
<It depends on the situation, but probably when the scale had grown too large, the severity has grown too great, or a resolution is taking too long. However, intervention would be absolutely guaranteed when…>
Balancer hit the ball and Yomoji caught it with a back dash.
<No, never mind. Probability plays too much of a role there.>
The ball returned, but…
<Oh!?>
A strong back spin changed the ball’s path. It moved back toward Yomoji.
Balancer could not reach it in time, so the ball left the table and fell to the floor.
“Heh heh heh. Yourrrr specs might be highhhh, but that does not hellllp you here.”
<Well played!>
“Does this mean not even you can read your opponent’s mind?”
<I can probabilistically calculate out a similar value, but it is not perfect. And when multiple people have gathered, it is faster to simulate the group’s overall trends instead of the individuals’ thoughts. And ultimately, it is even easier to calculate out the different results of the choices caused by those trends and come up with countermeasures for each one.>
“So it’s like how, when considering your move in shogi, it’s easier and safer to think through all the possible paths that move and your opponent’s response could lead to, instead of trying to guess what your opponent will choose?”
<Shogi has board spaces, game pieces, and rules, so there is a limit to the possible moves to play, which allows you to think through to the end of the game quite quickly. However…>
Balancer suddenly looked to the Revelation Board displaying the lively conversation in the women’s bath.
<There are no rules governing thoughts. There is great variety and the possibilities only grow the further out you go, so thinking up every possible countermeasure is not always possible.>
“So you figure out all the possible options and then assume the ‘impossible’ could happen too, huh?”
That sounded tricky. How much of a constant companion was despair for that AI?
On the other hand…
“It isn’t often that Shifu can let loose like this. I think things are going pretty well right now.”
<Really?>
“Yeah, she generally acts as the mediator for the girls, so she might relax, but she never completely lets her guard down. Especially when I’m not with her.”
So what did this mean?
She was letting loose in a way she had not back home.
Of course, that was probably because the factional conflicts from back home were nowhere to be found here. There were no largescale battles and, while they did have to get the terraforming done, they were more like supervisors here.
It would be a problem if she got too relaxed, but he knew her instincts were better than that.
Thus, things were going pretty well.
Which meant…
“I wish things could stay like this. …But that depends on what the DC does.”
“Tooru, I’m about ready to leave.”
He heard a cheerful voice.
This happened pretty much every day, so it was a good thing. Back home, she would sometimes end up lost in thought, but she barely did that here.
That did make him wonder if she had gotten dumber, but he knew he was as guilty as her on that front.
“Okay, let’s leave. We can visit a family restaurant and discuss what to do starting tomorrow.”
●
What was luxury?
“Having plentiful water to use is crucial!”
Bilgamesh knew just how important water was. His home had once had plenty of water, but that was much more limited now. However…
“The baths I knew were simply tubs of ordinary water. I never knew there were baths of heated water.”
He looked back toward the white-walled bathhouse and its gender-separated entrances.
The curtain labelled “women” fluttered and his partner stepped out.
“Bil, you talk too loud. I could hear you from inside.”
Just like him, his exasperated partner had been soaking in hot water. Her darkish skin had a nice sheen to it.
“How indecent! You must not let others see you looking so suggestive!”
“Calm down. No matter what anyone else thinks, you’re the only one for me.”
“I will not let anyone get away with seeing you like this!”
“How are you going to manage that?”
“In accordance with the Code of Hammurabi’s ‘eye for an eye’ principle, I will leer at anyone who dares leer at you.”
“Calm down.”
“You would command me!?”
“What, don’t like being commanded?”
“I am the king.”
“I’m your friend, remember? Although we ended up in this relationship because you seduced me.”
“Then you can ask me.”
“Please calm down.”
“Nhhhh.”
“I’ll use Call Bil if you don’t.”
“Then I will calm down.”
Now it was his partner’s turn to groan.
●
I hope this works out, thought Ki.
Her partner was so simple – or rather, he had a very straightforward personality. That could be overwhelming yet attractive, but on the other hand, they had a bit of a mission to take care of.
They had to stay calm. So…
“Do you know what we need to do?”
“Yes, wash up and wait here. And then…”
Her partner spoke.
“We must participate. Even if it must be by force.”
“Hm…I feel like that’s only half right.”
“Then you correct the other half, Ki.”
“It’s weird that you can say stuff like that when you’re the king.”
“I can only say it to you.”
“Is that so?” she responded.
“Hato really did tell us some weird things, didn’t she?”
They had met up with Shamhat after leaving the school. They had held a strategy meeting and then came here. But…
“Where is Hato?”
“The hot bath really excited her. I got out quickly since I was a little afraid it wouldn’t suit my body’s nature, but then I found someone out here who took an even shorter bath.”
“The bath is boring on your own.”
“Yes, yes.”
She knew that was his way of saying he wanted to be with her. That was a happy thing given what happened in their mythology. If only he were not so overwhelming.
But after holding that pointless exchange, she sensed a presence behind her.
“Shamhat?”
“Shamhat? Are you saying you need a shampoo hat or something?”
Someone gigantic appeared.
●
“…? What’s going on here?”
In front of the bathhouse, Raidou saw their “opponents”.
“Bilgamesh and Enkidu, huh?”
It was a sudden encounter.
This normally could not have happened, but he had noticed them.
And Bilgamesh’s partner Enkidu, who had left the women’s bath, was observing Shifu. As a result…
“Oh, we came out of different barriers after finishing our baths.”
Since they were defenseless while bathing, the gods connected to each mythology were guided to changing rooms and baths in separate dimensions. That of course only applied inside the bathhouse, so it all converged outside.
And on the outside, Shifu was looking at Enkidu.
“Gotten your skin all shiny for your partner?”
“Eh? Well, you could say that.”
Immediately after that exchange, the boy in front of Raidou moved.
“Do not speak with my wife.”
In an instant, his left hand raced out and seemed to extend. No, there was some distance between the entrances to the women’s and men’s baths and he was trying to fill that gap.
“Then you keep your hands off my wife.”
Raidou deflected that hand.
●
A metallic sound rang out and sparks flew.
When Ki witnessed that sound and light…
…Oh?
The girl in front of her had to be Shifu. And …
“――――”
She was clearly delighted.
Delighted that her husband had deflected Bil’s criticizing hand away from her.
“Happy?”
“Of course I am.”
“I see,” said Ki.
“I’d be happy too if Bil did that for me.”
“I see.”
She smiled, so Ki…
“Bil, have you calmed down now?”
●
Raidou saw the boy in front of him nod and say “yes”.
…This is a real pain-in-the-ass opponent here.
That much was certain. The warning divine protection spells around Raidou were reacting quite intensely. This opponent had guts because he made no attempt to hide his true name.
Bilgamesh.
A hero from Mesopotamian mythology. A half-god, half-human king.
He must have been confident. Leaving your true name open like that meant you were willing to accept a fight no matter what your opponent did.
…Just like me!
He had apparently only received a real manifestation recently, but his original divine rank was quite high. He also had a high historical rank. But…
“So how are we going to do this? You’re here for the DC, right? Do you need something?”
“It is true I need something,” said Bilgamesh without backing down.
“We know you are hiding a human. I would like to make him my subject.”
●
Kuwajiri was hiding behind the curtain and wall of the women’s bath entrance.
…This came out of nowhere.
These had to be the DC’s inspectors. But…
“What does he mean about making Sumeragi-chan his subject?”
“Well, we are currently treating Sumeragi as the worshiper of the god we call Senpai. Even if the DC tries to strip us of that authority and make Sumeragi the worshiper of one of their gods, she still has to agree to it.”
So if Sumeragi said no, the DC could not swap out her god like they wanted.
So what would they do?
“Bilgamesh is half-god, half-human and a king of the human world, so if Sumeragi becomes his subject, she can be on the DC’s side while still worshiping Senpai-san as her god.”
“But how arrrre they supposed to get her on their siiiide? Can she realllly have something beyond the god-worrrrshiper thing?”
The answer to Yomoji’s question was simple.
“By using the law. In the Sumer civilization on which Mesopotamian mythology is based, the law was already exercised and governed by theocracy and the code of law. Thus, Bilgamesh can use his law as the king to leave Sumeragi the freedom to worship while also binding or freeing her actions with the law.”
But what did that mean?
●
This is a real pain, thought Kuwajiri.
After all, it had happened so suddenly.
Sumeragi was currently in the changing room having trouble getting her new style uniform back on. Kuwajiri hoped she would be stuck there forever.
…Having Sumeragi walk out now would be the worst.
Their opponent had already stated in no uncertain terms that he wanted Sumeragi under his control.
They had an excuse ready for that, but they would be exceeding their authority here. From the DC’s perspective, the DC was in the right and the Shinto-affiliated group was in the wrong, but…
“Senpai, what should we do?”
“Yeah,” replied a voice. From outside the bathhouse.
“I’d like an explanation as to what’s going on.”
Something sounded off about that voice. Raidou was not speaking to Kuwajiri or Shifu. He was directing his voice toward the front of the bathhouse. And…
“What’s going on here, New Party Representative Omokane Yatsui!?”
●
“I thought I could just watch and see how this turned out, but I guess that isn’t happening.”
Omokane stepped away from the side of a vending machine on the road out front.
“Omokane!”
“Yes, I’m sure you have a lot of questions, Ki-kun. I set up this situation so I could meet up with Hato-kun without her being on her guard.”
This was an extremely interesting situation.
The Mesopotamian gods and the Norse gods had met.
She looked across their positioning in front of the bathhouse and spoke.
“A confrontation is unavoidable. And we cannot yet discuss what this means. Quite troublesome, don’t you think?”
“What do you-…?”
“Oh, got a question, Kuwajiri-kouhai? But there is nothing to say beyond what I said.”
She repeated herself.
“A confrontation is unavoidable. After all, the result of that confrontation will change what it is that Mesopotamian hero asks of you. Do you get what I mean?”
“Yeah, I think I get it.”
The thunder god scratched his head.
“Whether or not we can explain our reasons, we’re going to be fighting a duel. And if we win, they don’t get to complain, right?”
Afterword[edit]
“Okay, let’s have a chat for the afterword!”
<But why us? People will mistake this for part of the novel.>
“Since this is set in the 90s, the afterword has to be a character conversation. That’s just how it works.”
“Who decided that?”
“Having us chat with the author would be the best kind of cringe, but I guess we’re not doing that.”
“Anyway, um, the new series has begun. This one is more focused on chatting while dealing with the problems at hand and doing some hunting, so look forward to all that.”
“Was that the author speaking through you?”
“No, no, no. Of course, not, of course not. No one’s talking through me.”
“Don’t worry, Senpai! I’m totally okay with brainwashing plots! It’s all cool!”
“Aaaanyway, is there anything toooo discuss concerning the 90s?”
<To be blunt, acquiring physical materials is difficult. The CRT display devices are especially difficult. Everything changes to LCD in the 2000s and there is a risk of CRT devices catching on fire as they grow older, so they even disappear from used stores and auctions.>
“Checking on controllers and such must be difficult too.”
<Another problem from the 2000s is that most game systems from this era do not have the HDMI output that becomes the standard in the following decade. They primarily use composite video, D terminal, or component video, but the second two almost entirely disappear in the 2010s.>
“Well, when that happens, you can just rely on modifications or scan converters, I guess. Even our game club has a composite output for the Famicom.”
“Do things really change that much in a decade?”
“The 90s was a time of great change in Japan. That was partially due to the remaining momentum from the bubble era, but I think that was the period when people saw the greatest value in physically owning things.”
“This sounds complicated, so can you explain it using boobs as a metaphor?”
“Boy, the value of big boobs is eternal.”
<People also find value in flat chests, but the word ‘hinyuu’ is only seen in reference to them starting at around ’96, so the 90s really was a time of great diversity. And before that word, people used the term ‘pechapai’, but even that is only seen starting at around ’88.>
“What about ‘kyonyuu’ to refer to big boobs? When did that start?”
<That one is first seen around ’88, so that must have been a rather liberating time for Japan.>
“’88 is when the Tokyo Dome and the Seikan Tunnel opened, right? Oh, and the Mega Drive came out.”
“DQ3 too. I only played it recently, but I really wish there was a town on Greenlad. And I really liked the event in Noaniels.”
<I’m not sure getting back on topic is worth it, but before ‘kyonyuu’, the terms ‘dekapai’ and ‘boing’ were used. Language sure has a way of changing, doesn’t it?>
“This might be sudden, but the background music this time was Opa-Opa! from Sega’s Fantasy Zone.”
“Um, then how about we end this by asking ‘who was the most flustered?’ ”
“Pretty sure that’s you. Anyway, Part B will start off with a battle and some negotiations, so it’s our turn to shine.”
<And with that, please wait a while longer for Part B which will hit the ground running.>
2019. A rainy morning.
-Kawakami Minoru
Translator's Notes and References[edit]
- ↑ Ana means “hole” and Ona is a slang abbreviation for “masturbation”.
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