Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu:Volume 2 Chapter 3

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Chapter 3: They found out I'm a Twintail

Having finished docking the two battalions’ motherships in the docking port, Earth’s Ultima Guil base was full of new personnel.

Representatives of both units were gathered in the base’s conference room to discuss strategy for the Earth’s invasion, but things had quickly run aground.

Large Bust and Small Bust.

As polar opposite Elements, there were very little opportunities for compromise, and sure enough, the meeting had split into two distinct factions.

“I’m just about sick of you fools! Sick of this world’s lack of breasts! Everyone thinking that they can get a large chest just by slicing themselves with a knife and shoving something inside. These fakes are the real reason Large Bust is such a scarce element!”

“Small Bust is different though. Their smallness gives them honour, it lets our love for them bloom!”

“You fool. The rampancy of fakes only brings forth the true beauty of Large Bust!
You could say they’re a single flower blooming in a barren wasteland…”

“It’s valuable because of it’s rarity! Coming into bloom, and in the world with us for just a moment before fading away.
As if they were shooting stars, that moment they burn out only reveals their true magnificince!!”

“True, let’s assume for a moment Small Bust does live forever.
Then they’d have no more life than a marble sculpture! Hah!!”

The meeting had degenerated into bickering that stunk of middle-school-aged boys.

Anyone coming upon hellish scene of fearsome monsters, blood and tempers seething as they argue, would have nightmares for months afterwards.

“Look at this!”
One of Levia-Guildy’s subordinates projected a photograph up on the screen. He smiled smugly, confident he’d land a blow.

A photograph of a large-busted girl in a school uniform, assumedly on her morning commute.

“How dare you show that filth to us!”

“Sure, always using the same flimsy bigger is better’ argument!
Why don’t you try looking at the bigger picture for a change?”

“What are you talking about!”

The Small Bust supporters narrowed their eyes at the photo they’d been shown.

The subject’s bag-strap dug into her cleavage, bringing it into sharp relief.

“Have a look at this chest, divided into its right and left parts…
A re-enactment of the separation of heaven and earth as ordained by the gods!”

“And don’t you think this beauty of left and right resonates with that of twintails?”

The Large-bust faction were all piling on at once to gain as much ground as possible.

However, Krake Guildy’s subordinates weren’t about to give in that easily.

The screen flicked to a new photo to another girl, this time with a more modest chest.

“Look as the harmony with this school swimsuit! A large bust can’t pull this off.
Flat-chested girls excel in the wide range of outfits they can pull off!”

The survivors of the Tiger Guildy’s unit, who had no option but to join other units after the death of their commander, who had long since lost hope of this meeting baring any fruit, jerked their heads up at the mention of school swimsuits.

They were never a unit formed under the banner of school swimsuits, but nevertheless the image stirred a longing for their former commander.

“Scheming bastard- how dare you try to draw in Tiger Guildy’s subordinates!?”

“I’m doing nothing of the sort. I’m merely demonstrating that no matter what element you’re composed of, at the very end that element will manifest itself as Small Bust! If you insist that this worlds beginning and end is Large Bust, then explain the flat expanse of the ocean and the plains of the continents that clearly symbolise small breasts. All of nature returns to small chests!”

The two factions who’d until now been showing each other their presentations projected on huge screens at the front of the hall, finally broke into an all-out brawl.

The debate gave way to all kinds of abuse, and merely screaming the name of their preferred element.

“SILENCE!”

Krake Guildy slammed his fist down hard, causing cracks to form in the solid table.

In an instant, the meeting hall returned to silence.

“We’re never going to get anywhere like this. How many days have we spent having this exact same argument. Yesterday we had that huge argument over game characters, and forget breasts, you failed to even notice one of the characters was a femboy!” he said, his numerous tentacles drawing tense with rage.

Someone who takes so much pride in his refined, chivalrous demeanour letting his emotions surface like this reflected the base’s faltering unity.

“The only option we have left is to seperate our command and agree for each unit to work independently to achieve our objective of neutralising the Twintails.”

Levia Guildy’s suggestion sounded rash, but it seemed like the only way for the base to return to somewhat normal operation.

“Levia Guildy-sama, with all due respect, unless we form a united front we have no chance of defeating the Twintails! No matter how long discussion takes we must—“

“But it’s true that if we sit on out thumbs like this the situation won’t show any improvement. I say we go ahead and split up” Krake Guildy said, cutting over his subordinate.

With the two commanders coming to this agreement, their subordinates had no choice but to stand down.

“With my cherished comrade Buffalo Guildy being annihilated in seconds like that, I’ve come to understand the Twintail’s strength only too well. Then again, I had no idea my second in command was so pathetic.”