OreShura: Volume 1 Chapter 5

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Chapter 5 - Light Music is Mayhem

Oreshura v01 125.png


The next day, during lunch break time:

While eating lunch, I narrated in great detail what happened yesterday. Kaoru stared with wide eyes:

"Oh, that’s really an unexpected development."

Kaoru was right.

The fact that I got a girlfriend was a ridiculously abnormal event.

Yet I did not think that in a million years that I, famous for always going home after school, would be attending club activities…

"Do you know who is the advisor? If there isn't one, it isn't possible to do any club activities, right?"

“She’s the Classical lesson teacher Itotani-sensei. Last year she was the instructor of the tea ceremony club, but after the third-years graduated, the tea ceremony club was shut down. We heard she wasn’t very busy, and it worked out that our club could take over the tea ceremony club. " [1]

"Then how did you explain to the teacher the club activities?"

"For the purpose of re-discovering the true appearance of the japanese maiden, to transform Hanenoyama high school students into dignified, pure, upright, and beautiful girls, learning etiquette or maybe courtesy, etcetera..."

I listened to Masuzu explain this to the teacher, but I was completely bewildered.

Well, forget it. It was just a spectacle of words.

"Our club activities will have the purpose of making us popular and pleasing everyone, fuhuhuhu~"tehe☆ Now that certainly wasn’t a proper thing to say.

Besides, there was also a more important unresolved priority: “whether my notebook would be leaked to Chiwa.”


I later asked Masuzu why she had to bring in all this nonsense--

"No special reason. This is just more interesting."

"This diary is full of very interesting subjects... I can clearly sense Eita’s extraordinary talentAura."

"But worry do not, I will not disclose the contents of the diary to Harusaki-san, nor will I let her know that this is in fact your personal diary."

"I promise you, in case this should ever happen, I will lift you from your role of 'boyfriend'Fake."

Well, since she said so, there’s no harm in believing that for now--

But it was impossible to get rid of the lingering unease.

"Having said that, Natsukawa-san’s initiative is really amazing yeah."

"Yeah, I was actually taken by surprise."

In fact, in merely one day spent she found an advisor, applied and settled a club, furthermore she dragged Chiwa into the group. I didn’t expect such power from an ojou-sama.

Incidentally, Masuzu was still not yet in the classroom, and I hadn’t heard that she would go to the student cafeteria... so where was she eating lunch?

"Oh right, what about Chihuahua-chan[2]?"

"It looks as if she is truly burning with fighting spirit......"

Even though it seemed like we hadn’t spoken in ages, Chiwa came over last night for dinner.


The dish was Ginger Roast pork, and she continuously refilled her rice bowl three times.

"Even though it's really irritating to be lectured by that woman, I also got to hear something good."

"I want to steal the secret, to more popular than Natsukawa.... I will absolutely show you!"

Chiwa splattered rice while talking excitedly, looking very happy.

Probably, it's that.

Ever since she was unable to practice Kendo, I think she had too much energy waiting to be spent.

Moreover, she often said she was "looking for new things to get into.”

Hehe.

"Somehow, doesn't Eita looks extremely pleased right now?"

"Well, don’t say stupid things. You force me to reduce study time and I find it very troubling."

However, the expression on my face answered differently.

In fact, Kaoru was completely right. I was a little bit... happy.

Yet it wasn’t because I was taking part in a new club.

Rather, watching Chiwa repeatedly trying her hardest -- it didn’t feel bad.

"Having said that, being sandwiched in between two girls is very hard, too." Kaoru said with a wry smile.

"Yeah, only you can understand me."

"Of course, because we’re best friends."

This kind of empathetic feeling is something I also want to reach with my "girlfriend" and "childhood friend".

I eagerly look forward to it!



After school --

There was a hanging scroll written in calligraphy by Masuzu hanging in front of the clubroom door.

Our Jien Otsu club[3] is finally ready to start activities.

"Harusaki-san, are you ready?" Masuzu asked.

Masuzu was wearing snowy white clothes as a cloak, which she mysteriously obtained from who knows where, one hand holding my notebook, looking as if she were a teacher. The style of dress was utterly well suited to her. As expected, beauties can do things like that.

"Young maidens’ self-recreation, let’s start!"

Chiwa muttered with discontent, but nevertheless kneeled down onto a seat cushion. Like a true experienced kendo practitioner, her back and spine was diligently straight, and her posture was excellent.

I followed and sat cross-legged on a folding chair, not far from the two girls.

"First of all, let’s agree on a goal."

"Goal?"

"First we target the person you want as your boyfriend. To put it simply, "who do you to make fall[4]?""

"Becoming popular without that, isn't possible?"

"I believe setting a goal will make it easier to get results from the training."

"......But even if you want me to suddenly pick someone..."

She spoke, and briefly Chiwa glanced towards me.

What is it?

Was she going to ask for my advice about it?

"That’s right, it’s a rather good thing to have a goal. Well, do have anyone you are troubled over?"

"Ah… How could I have… uh?"

Chiwa bowed her head.

Ehhhhh…

She didn’t like any boy in particular, yet she still wanted to be popular?

This totally exhausts the point of having a goal.

"Don’t think too hard, it’s alright to start with those you think of as friends."

Chiwa bent her head down for a while and spoke, "Well..." She looked up and continued to say:

"......Sakata from Men's Basketball? He’s a senior. I always hear the girls in our class discussing how handsome he is."

Sakata?

Does the men's basketball club have senpai with that name?

"Do you mean Sakagami-senpai? The Third-year."

"Ah, r-right, that’s him."

So it turned out to be that senior?


If it’s really him, even I know his background. He’s going participate in the High School Interhigh Sports Competition, and he’s the ace of Hanenoyama High School’s basketball team. He is very tall, good-looking, and is definitely considered "THE popular” male senior.

"But he is practically an unattainable flower, is that a problem?"

"Yeah, I definitely...... don’t recommend him." Masuzu said, vaguely.

I was a bit surprised.

I thought she would say, “ambitious goals are very good”.

"...No wait, actually this is very convenient."

She went on, as if putting aside her earlier hesitation. She wildly nodded and said, "Sakagami’s younger brother is our class. It might be easier to use him to introduce yourself."

"Maybe you can even get him tell his brother there is "a very cute girl" in his class.

After even all the trouble of finally picking a target, Chiwa’s expression still looked particularly unhappy.

"......Well, I guess I can first settle for the Sakashita-senpai as a goal."

"You mean Sakagami, right?"

"Ah, right, it’s Sakagami-senpai."

How did her enthusiasm suddenly disappear?

Just yesterday, she was so vigorously spirited.

"Well, since we’ve agreed on a goal— we’ll begin the first day of the lecture."

Masuzu stood in front of a whiteboard (which she got from who knows where), and said:

"First we’ll read aloud "his" Diary, so please pay attention and listen."

Huh?

I couldn’t help but be taken aback ... yet Masuzu’s eyes glanced at me with a smile, and told me "don't you worry".

...Well, I’ll believe you for now.


May 28 Clear

"I want to introduce my partner – my guitar and Western music, as well as the rhythm of the soul."

Today, I carried my partners out with me.

They are me. Regardless of the time, I can’t let go, pass them away, or substitute them with false avatars.

It is the GUITAR! It is engraved as my soul partner.

When I carry the guitar, I look precisely like an artist.

The eyes of people passing on the street look at me differently.

That’s because they see an artist's eyes - looking forward in the line of sight.

Exposed to this ardent gaze, my partner and I become burning fire, hot, hot.

But my expression has always been KOOL.

Because -- no it’s not like that?

KOOL face × HAT soul = ∞ [5]

If it’s not like that, you can’t make real music --

Come on, today we’re opening the prelude of a live performance!

Let the dispirited school -- heat up now!

"Ku- oooooooooooouuuuっ" [6]

This is ...

T-this is sooooo ...

Masuzu really did follow the agreement we made, as she had made subtle changes, deleting specific terms, so you couldn’t tell that I wrote the diary.

She did this very well, and I wanted to praise her.

B-but...

But… Aaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhhhhhh…

"Hey, Hey, Ei-kun! Are you okay?"

I found Chiwa shaking my shoulder.

"Yeah I’m fine, Chiwa, haha, what’s wrong? You look so surprised."

"Because you suddenly started banging your head on the wall! Eh! You… you’re bleeding!"

Chiwa quickly took out from her bag red disinfectant fluid and gauze. It seems she had developed a habit of carrying first-aid since participating in the Kendo Club. She was very practiced and skilled with treating my injury.

“Would Ei-kun like to go to the school infirmary? "

Masuzu was also surprisingly caring.

-- Oh wait, wasn’t she the one guilty for this?!

Damn.....

I never imagined that reading the notebook in front of others would have such a great destructive power.

It really exceeded my expectations.

Maybe it really will affect my life.

I have to hurry and make Chiwa popular, and then stop the club activities, otherwise...

"S-sorry, I’m fine! We can keep going."

Masuzu nodded, and stood again in front of the whiteboard.

"Here’s we’ve read the point of this diary entry – ‘people who are in a band, are popular’! In particular: the guitar. In fact, ninety-seven percent of high school boys who start to learn the guitar do so to become “popular”. The investigation data is very clear; in other words, the guitar has a very good effect on popularity. Of course, this also applies to high school girls."

Although Masuzu calmly sneaked in some false rumors, I have to agree her claims might have some truth even though she inverted the reasoning.

People who play in bands are really popular. But is this because "bands make people popular" or just because "popular people play in bands?" Which of these, I'm not quite sure.

"But what if I can’t play the guitar?"

"Then what can you play?"

Chiwa tilted her head to the side said:

"Ehhh.................................... the Shinai[7]?"

"The Shinai is not a musical instrument."

"But they make a sound when you hit with them, eh?"

"What kind of pitch is that?"

"Face hit ♪ Face hit ♪ [8]"

"How you can say that so casually?!"

Masuzu tapped her baton on the whiteboard and said:

"It's alright even if you can’t play."

"Eh?"

"You just have to look as if you know how to play. During school you’ll have no chance to perform anyways. "

"That’s right..."

"For a while, the "air guitar" was really fashionable[9], right? That’s the best evidence that if you to be popular, so don’t actually need to make music."

Masuzu pulled out a guitar case from behind the whiteboard.

It was a huge, hard, black-colored case.

"Here, this is for you."

Chiwa took the box, flipped it around and rolled her eyes:

"There’s no guitar in here?"

Masuzu shrugged, as if to mean, "What is this child saying?" with her body language. She asked, "If we put it in, wouldn’t it be too heavy?"

"......"

"Please carry this case with you. As a guitar player would say, a guitar is the equivalent of one’s own body, right, Eita-kun?"

"S- Sure."

In the notebook, it was written like that.

Though in reality, I know nothing about the guitar.

My diary entry was entirely based on the idea, "If I could play the guitar.” You could say it was a type of psychological preparation or vision for the future... or well… maybe a kind of ideal dream narrative.

Ugh.

No...


"Waaahhhhhhhhh! If you jump from that window, you’ll be killed!"

"What has been happening to you for a while?! Calm down, Ei-kunっ!"

I finally gave up the idea of suicide with Chiwa’s attempts to calm me.

Masuzu coughed, cleared her throat:

"If anyone wants to touch this case, just angrily rebuke them, "Do not defile my soul!" or "Let go of your dirty hands!" Characteristic irritability is a distinctive trait of a guitarist."

This was a seriously prejudiced stereotype.

"But the inside is empty, right?"

"But if you put a guitar in, won’t it be too heavy?"

"......"

Chiwa wore an indescribable expression on her face, while staring at the case.

"Also, you have to completely belittle traditional Japanese music."

"W-why is that? "

"This is the predisposition of the guitarist. Listening to traditional music is scum, trash, dirty bugs! You need to have this kind of mental preparation, especially listening to what Johnny or AK. [10] The moment you hear this kind of music, let your ears rot with recognition."

Huh? This is what with what?

Does Masuzu really have an irreconcilable hatred of traditional Japanese music?

"Will this really make me popular?"

Chiwa said, wrinkling her eyebrows.

It seemed like was she finally began to feel suspicious.

"Of course, "his" notes are more perfect than the Bible."

Even faced with the doubtful questions, Masuzu was unwavering.

"Hatred of traditional music and love of Western music is an unconditional requirement for a guitarist."

"I’ve never listened to Western music, and I don’t know any singers."

"Not singers. They’re called "artists."[11]"

Masuzu carefully corrected the details.

"Don’t worry, if someone asks which artists you like, just pick a name from the Stands of“Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures Part IV," as famously recorded in the notebook."

"......"

Please forgive me, Araki Hirohiko-Sensei[12].

"Oh..., by the way, what's "JoJo?""

"ッ!"

Masuzu started at Chiwa with a stunned expression:

"You’re saying you do not know of "JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure"?"

"Nope. Does it have something to do with a Yakiniku Shop?"

"............"

Masuzu sighed deeply.

Did this mean that, despite her appearance, she loves shounen manga, just like how Chiwa really likes shoujo manga?

"I finally know the reason why you are unpopular, Harusaki Chiwa. Someone who doesn't know Jojo is at the same level of the Peking Man[13]"

"Do- don't say stupid stuff! I’m fully-fledged Japanese!"

No, you should be throwing a tsukkomi to the "primitive man" part [14].

"If you wish to claim things that you’re a Japanese person living in the modern era, please finish reading JoJo first. Popular or not, this is where is starts."

""JoJo" turned out to be such an important factor......"

Chiwa dejectedly hung her head.

But only for a few seconds.

"I know, I’ll stop by the bookstore to buy them on the way home!"

Her hair abruptly flicked up as she lifted her head, her pupils flaring up again with excitement.

"Originally, I wanted you to read it all from the beginning of the first part... but since we are actually concerned with the fourth part, get volumes twenty-nine to forty-seven. A single set is four hundred ten yen, so altogether that’s a total of 7790 yen."

"That’s so expensive! I only get five thousand yen in allowance every month!"

"Please understand the point. In order to be popular, one surely will need money."

"Really, this so-called love... it depends on how much money......"

Chiwa eyes had a faraway look.

Yare yare[15]

"Don’t worry, Chiwa, if it's JoJo I have all volumes, I'll lend them to you."

"T-thank you, Ei-kun~!"

Chiwa looked exactly like a puppy that had been fed a treat, and excitedly moved closer to me.

"If I really like what you read, be sure to get your own copy afterwards?"

Masuzu urged her to do so. It was evident that she was a hard-core fan of JoJo.

After that, we talked about the details of the popularity-operation to be carried out the next day.



And just in this way, the next day after school --

"Hey, hey -- Ei-kun."

While holding the guitar case, Chiwa came to our classroom.

"Hey -- isn't it Chiwa? Why did you bring a guitar with you today?"

"This is, of course! The guitar is my soul."

Chiwa and I were reciting our lines word-by-word.

As for Masuzu, she sat next to me, completely indifferent to us while writing the day-duty log. If there were any problems, if anything wrong happens she'll add herself and follow through the situation.

Sakagami-senpai’s little brother sat to my right one desk, and then forward three seats.

He was chatting with a female friend, which meant he hadn’t gone home yet.

It was a good opportunity.

"That’s strange? Chihuahua-chan can play the guitar?"

The one who spoke out was the leader of a group of girls -- Akano Mei. [16]

She was said to have a large circle of friends. No matter in which class, boy or girl, she had friends, practically as if she were the embodiment of the popular girl[17].

She and Chiwa should have only been on speaking terms, so the fact she was called by her nickname was a really worthy change.

"Hi, Mei-chan! Yes, I can play the guitar, ahahahha."

"How long have you played?"

"H-how long, um… I’ve been holding guitar picks since before I drank from milk bottles!"

"Are you part of a band?"

"M-me… I play on my own! Occasionally, I make solo performances in front of the train station?"

"Amazing, you’re like a street musician?"

"S-sure! Aha! Ahahaha!"

Hey......

Don’t be so boastful like that, alright?

Yet nonetheless, this conversation seemed to be useful. I saw the younger brother of Sakagami glancing from time to time at Chiwa.

We faced Masuzu to the side -- and noticed under the table, she had put up an index finger.

That was the signal to "continue on.”

"What kind of music do you normally listen to?”

One of Akano’s friends -- Aoba Satsuki added the topic. [18]

The two girls were the social core of our class, commonly known as the "Red-Green combo”[19].

"Uh-h, like reddo hotto, chiri Pepper. There’s also ba- baddo canpany and such, right?[20]"

Although she stumbled about slowly, Chiwa still answered with the proper name of the Stands.

Evidently, she completely read all of Part IV last night.

"RED HOT.... What’s that?"

"You don’t know it? They’re a very famous American band."

Akano blinked with awe towards Aoba, willing to lend an explanation.

It seemed that Aoba was an "I know of it" type.

"Harusaki-san, do you like RECHILI?"

Assorted puffer-fish hot pot? I’ve eaten it when I traveled with my family in Kyushu, but I much prefer pork shabu-shabu."

Hey, idiot Chiwa!

You should just think about the context! RECHILI is an abbreviation of RED HOT CHILI PEPPER!

"Ahhh -- sorry, Harusaki-san doesn’t like this abbreviation, right?"

"Huh?"

“Old fans all abbreviate RHCP or CHILI PEPPERS, my father said so. "

Chiwa looked as if she finally understood :

"Ahhh! Uh, I was an old fan of theirs! I am an OLD TYPE!"

It seems that Chiwa won't be able to use Funnels. [21]

"Well, since you’re a fan of the CHILI PEPPERS, your guitar should also be a STRAT, right?"

"Huh?"

"Frusciante is really handsome! It’s too bad he left the band."

“Fr-fruscian? Then whose Stand is that?”

“Stand?"

This conversation isn’t working.

Although I would have very much liked to help her, I have almost no knowledge of Western music. Even I just learned that RED HOT CHILI PEPPER"S" was their correct name moments ago.

Faced with this kind of situation, I gave a sidelong glance towards Masuzu--

"Ahhhh... the clouds are red like blood, the gods of twilightRagnarok are near."

Masuzu leaned on the desk with her hand supporting her cheek, as if she became a poet who lazily gazed out of the window.

It was as if everything had nothing to do with her.

I've never seen such an hideous person!

"Let me see your guitar."

Akano said this decisive sentence.

"N-no! This is my soul! I can’t just let other people casually look at it!"

Chiwa protectively shifted her (empty) guitar case behind her.

"Huh? Why not, just let me look at your precious STRAT--"

"You should play a little for us then! Even a little bit would be great!"

This was the limit.

"Come on Chiwa! It’s about time for go to your live concert, right?"

I wanted to help her, but --

"Yeah, I want to see too--"

At this point, Sakagami’s brother chimed in:

"My brother's hobby is collecting old guitars. His room is full of guitars. Maybe Harusaki would be able to get along with him--"

Exactly like his brother, he had a handsome face. He approached Chiwa.

Finally backed into a corner, Chiwa trembled all over and clung to the guitar case.

I profoundly noticed how short her body was.

Carrying a large guitar case made her little body seem especially short; after all, Chihuahua was her nickname for a reason.

Yet her physique was clearly very strong.

Female high school students generally can’t even compare with her. After eight years of Kendo experience, the results were not just skin deep.

With this, Chiwa stammered:

“O-o-ooooo-o-k-okay? I-I-IIiiiii-I’ll let you see... "

She grabbed the neck of the guitar case, and raised it up as if it were a Shinai.

"DORAA!"

Chiwa issued a roar from the depths of her stomach:

"DORARARARARARARARARARARA!" [22]

She was like a crazy destructive guitarist at a live performance, and soon after began waving the guitar case!

"DORARARARARARARARARARARA!"

Sakagami’s little brother was dumbfounded, and stared blankly.

Everyone in the class held their breath, or was petrified while staring at Chiwa’s disheveled hair and destructive actions. Luckily, her arms were very short, so she didn’t cause any damage to anything around her.

"Uuuf-- DORA-!"

Finally, she gave one last epic-finishing cry, reminiscent of her glorious days in the Kendo Club.

The classroom was absolutely silent.

"Ro- rokkun ro-ru-! Sankyu! I love you!"

Chiwa’s face was stiff with grin as she waved vigorously to audience.

This was the end of the live performance.

"..................I’m done!"

Chiwa again grabbed her guitar case, and fled like a rabbit from the classroom.

No one tried to run after her.

We all remained motionless.

And didn’t even speak a word.

In this frozen classroom, only one person let out a sound.

Natsukawa Masuzu.

She had buried her face on the desk, her body shaking with vibration.

I was under the impression that she was devastated by the tragic failure, since she was the sponsor of this project. It's what I was expecti--

"Puっ fufufuっ , fufufufufu, ufufufufufu, fufufufufufufufufufuっっ"[23]

She was laughing.

Crying.

Her shoulders quivered.

Her entire body burst out laughing.

--Certainly, I really have never seen such a hideous person!



Notes

  1. The advisor's name is 糸谷 in Kanji.
  2. Kaoru's nick for Chiwa
  3. 自演乙 or Self-Recreation Club
  4. オトス , as in, taking down a target
  5. Kool & Hat are there, meant as typos
  6. yes, this is Eita's death scream
  7. the bamboo sword used in Kendo
  8. In Kendo, you have to yell the body part you are attacking, here she is referencing here mask (men) gets hit
  9. Air Guitar is where one pretends to play a guitar. Google it, there are even championships for it
  10. These are jpop artists. Johnny is probably Johnny Kitagawa & AK Akemi Krivit
  11. Chiwa was using the japanese term for singer [ 歌手 ] , Masuzu corrects her with the English one
  12. creator of Jojo
  13. a fossil, believed to be among the first evolutionary stages of the human man
  14. A little detail, by "Peking Man" Chiwa didn't understood that she was being called primitive, she merely understood that she was being called "someone from Peking"
  15. A type of sight, also regularly used by Jojo main characters
  16. The girl's name is 赤野メイ in kanji.
  17. Riajuu (successful in social life) is used
  18. 青葉 さつき in kanji.
  19. The Ao from Aoba is from "green" (or blue) and the Aka from Akano is from red
  20. Chiwa correctly memorized the "names", but her pronunciation of them was strange (proven by using mostly hiragana instead of katakana). If you notice she only got the Pepper part quasi-right
  21. Funnels is a type of remote / mind controlled weapon of Gundam, the characters that can use these are labeled as "NEW TYPES". Eita's pun strikes twice, first that Chiwa calls herself Old type (and thus, isn't a new type) and second is that in katakana the "Fun" of "Funnels" is the same as "Fan", thus he implies that she isn't a good fan
  22. This is Josuke Higashikata (led of Jojo's Part 4) multi-punch battle cry
  23. a very characteristic type of laugh, interpret it as mischievous for this case


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