Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai:A Certain Clubroom's Fanatic:Chapter 1
Chapter 1
“Do you guys know about ‘Railgun’?”
Well, you said you guys already know, huh—
The anime, ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’, which was based on the manga with the same name looked very popular.
I rarely watch any anime, yet I still knew about the name and the heroine of that series. That went to show how popular it was.
Right where I was, I could hear people talking about ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’.
Now is another day after school—oh, I should have introduced myself.
My name is Kousaka Kyousuke.
A very ordinary high school student.
There is nothing worth mentioning about me.
Even if you don’t know my story, that is fine. You must be somewhat interested in the story to spend time reading it.
That’s right, this is a story about ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’.
...Everything I just said was to prepare you guys for what you are about to see. The place I was going to had a lot of guys like this series’ seiyuu. Not just ‘like’, but you could call them victims of "Kugimiya disease."[1]
In other words, they were like those Narita followers.
The Internet often has stories about them modifying their own rooms/kitchens to boast about their favorite, but they were still annoying.
But I always thought that ‘Fanatics’ and ‘Followers’ were some exaggerated stories, their real life versions were not quite the same.
You see, if you liked something too much, then calling you a fanatic was using the correct word. And it’s not just used for mocking someone anymore.
Around me, I saw something like that everyday.
A fanatic fan was a follower with a sick mind.
By the same token, those anime and manga could be considered a virus.
A follower who was infected will spread it to another, turning it into an epidemic.
In some way, this ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’ was a rare, strong virus.
Not to mention about how popular it was, the infected victims weren’t normal either. As soon as the topic changed to the ‘Railgun series’, they would suddenly become very excited.
I’m not lying. If you don’t believe me, how about I show you the newest victim of the infection?
After school, I arrived at the Game Research Club. Among the octopus-like electrical wires, a table and some chairs lied randomly. There were some computer screens on the table, where five club members were doing whatever they wanted.
As a ghost member, I didn’t try to actually do something. That’s why I overheard this conversation.
“Ah? You haven’t watched ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’—really? President!?”
“Ah, yeah. I heard the rumors, but I haven’t watched it.”
Since this is our first meeting, allow me to introduce them.
The one wearing spectacles and with a more mature look is our club’s president.
The one with a look of disbelief on his face is my junior—a second year student.
Looked like he and the president were talking about an anime.
“How…it’s not like you, president. Why haven’t you watched ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’? It’s so interesting!”
“Ah, well, I want to watch something else first, I decided to buy Blu-ray disks of "Hanamaru Kindergarten", "Dance in the vampire bund", "HeartCatch Precure!", okay?”
“All of them are loli anime!”
“They called it paradise! Paradise!”
The president grinned.
Indeed, this guy was a lolicon.
“That’s why in recent months, I don’t have any time to watch new anime. Minna-sama and Mei-chan have captured my heart, thus I can’t bear to watch anything else. Ah—by the way…how should I put it…?”
The president pointed at the mess of magazines on the table.
“Look! Animedia’s cover is Railgun. Lighting Queen’s cover is Railgun too. Megami Magazine also has a Railgun cover. All of them write about Railgun—everyday! I’m starting to feel annoyed at Misaka Mikoto’s face. Do you get it? My feelings right now?”
“This is Judgement!”
My junior suddenly yelled in an Ojou-sama’s voice.
He stood up from his seat, pointed at his right shoulder, and acted like he was showing an armband.
“You damn lolicon! How did you dare to say that you feel annoyed at Onee-sama’s face!?”
“Huh? What the hell are you saying? I don’t understand what you are saying at all.”
“Ah, yeah, I was a bit rude.”
“Not just a bit!”
Although he just said that, but I can vouch for him that my junior is not always like that.
Today, he seemed to be in a bad mood.
Just like an unfortunate victim, he was infected.
Did he like Railgun series that much?
The lolicon-president looked at him in terror:
“By the way, what is with the armband that you were trying to show?”
“This is Judgement’s armband! Just take a look at this! The white stripes on the dark green background! The main theme is a shield of sharp ingenuity! This is a special good from Cospa! They sold them all since April ~ I only able to re-buy it now! With this, from now on, I’m Shirai Kuroko!”
This is Judgement! My junior once again made that pose.
Goddamn it! It was hundred times more annoying than usual!
In short, that was something for a cosplay outfit. Probably for that so called ‘Shirai Kuroko’.
Which meant that Kuroko was another weirdo!
Now I want to lecture even her name!
When I was watching, my junior started to tie his hair with a ribbon.
“Twin tail completed —! How was that, guys? Am I looking like Kuroko now?”
“Don’t, don’t come any closer! You look disgusting!”
The president dragged himself and the chair backward. His forehead was covered in sweat.
“You said disgusting!? How rude! Ah, Kousaka senpai. Kousaka senpai surely could understand my charm!”
“Yeah yeah I get it, now let’s go to the hospital.”
I put my hand on my junior’s shoulder.
“Why senpai? I’m totally fine!”
“………..”
To tell the truth, as his senior, I felt that it was my responsibility to bring this gay bastard out of my club room, especially before a female member arrived.
“Like hell you are. It’s one thing to change your hair style and your clothing, but this is not a male’s uniform! No matter how I look, you are disgusting.”
“!?”
So you must stop that immediately—when I was about to say that.
He suddenly acted like he just noticed it right now, struck an Ojou-sama’s pose and used a hand to cover his mouth.
“As expected of Kousaka senpai! You’re still able to calmly analyze the situation! Indeed, I forgot about my clothing! I’m going to change into that now!”
“No wait! You—”
He didn’t listen to me and immediately started changing.
...All the male members, me included, showed a twisted expression.
When he finished unbuttoning—
*Clang clang*
“Yaaaaaaaaa——!”
At the worst possible moment, a girl arrived.
The one who just yelled was a big-breasted glasses fujoshi. The truth is, she was the most perverted member of this club. On seeing her senpai half naked(with a twin tail), she immediately blushed.
“This...this...Kousaka senpai...doing this with your junior in the middle of the day—”
Oh damn! What a twisted misunderstanding...I have to quickly solve it right now.
“—A cosplay rape play, right?”
“Go to hell, you damn fujoshi!!!”
I immediately objected. How could I explain anything in that situation?
Ah really! Why did it come to this?
“I told you that’s not it. Well, president said he hasn’t watched ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’, then suddenly ‘This is Judgement!’ before cosplaying Shirai Kuroko.”
“I totally don’t understand anything.”
What a slow girl. I tried to explain everything from the beginning.
“...Ha...what an idiot...you still don’t get it?”
The black haired girl muttered.
“I understood everything from just a glance.”
“Understood what?”
My female junior took a tissue to wipe her nosebleed.
“Ha, in other words—”
“There is now one more pervert among the members of this club.”
A few minutes later—
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can’t stand it! Then let me, Shirai Kuroko, teach you the charm of ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’!”
Somehow, it became like this.
“Actually...although I’m not very sure myself regarding the anime, but this Shirai Kuroko...is she really like that?”
“...At least senpai’s imitation is on a whole different level, that’s all I could say.”
“I see...”
True, he even put on a wig. That kind of imitation was abnormal.
Even I didn’t recognize him anymore. I must say, his personality also changed. My junior who was calling himself Shirai Kuroko took a Blu-Ray box out of his pocket.
“So, everyone, let’s watch this now!”
That was ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’ Volume 1.
A tea-colour haired girl who was crossing her arms, another girl with twin tails and an armband on the cover. A recently popular type of cover with a two-person team.
“If you like the anime, there are manga and light novels on the shelf over here, please take a look at them.”
I finally understood what he was trying to do.
To praise his favorite work—they probably call it a ‘missionary’.
If he was like that, then trying to stop him would end in vain. Based on my experience, the best thing I could do was going on with the flow.
Looked like the other members reached the same conclusion.
“Hah...it can’t be helped.”
“Well, this is a good chance anyway. Like you said, try to feel this work’s charm.”
They smiled wryly.
“Hey, wait senpai! What about this Kuroko’s bra? Why didn’t it look the same like in the original work?”
Although there was a pervert mixed in.
Thus, although all members watched ‘Railgun’, but there was no need to describe the anime in detail.
Because I got the feeling that everyone ‘already knew’.
All members were gathered around the 24 inches LCD.
We just sat around randomly, just like a bunch of kids who came to watch a children’s show.
The Blu-ray started to run, the menu showed up.
“Alright then, first let me show you this anime’s opening.”
The fake Kuroko moved the mouse.
Thus, the introduction and the anime’s opening began. From the heroine’s finger tip, lighting burst out, and the title ‘A Certain Scientific Railgun’ appeared.
“Heh, pretty cool.”
When I spoke my true thoughts out, the fake Kuroko’s body trembled.
“This song is by fripSide’s singer, Yoshino Nanjou—only my railgun. This opening had good animation as well as dynamism, thus making it the perfect song.”
At that time, the president slammed his hands on the table.
“Ah, I remember! This song’s preview had become quite famous. I heard that they are going to sell CDs of the song in konozama.”
“Ah...that fateful day! How many fans would go to konozama like me...!? Onee-sama and that boy’s story, would it be that Shirai Kuroko’s story is going to begin again?”
“Shut up. That song is nothing special.”
I spoke on behalf of everyone. Hearing that, fake Kuroko solemnly said:
“Let me explain. Please think of it as the current popular voice.”
“How could that imperative voice become popular?”
“But since nearly everyone here hasn’t watched it, of course you won’t understand.”
“Then how about you introduce things for us?”
“Okay, I will.”
Fake Kuroko pointed at the screen and began to talk.
“The girl whose face that people wanted to lick is Uiharu Kazari, the girl whose forehead that people wanted to lick is Shirai Kuroko, and this girl whose body that people wanted to lick is my wife Saten-san!”
“You didn’t introduce anything at all!!!”
The only difference is where you want to lick them!!!
From that point, the only meaningful word that he said was ‘moe’...Damn...his introduction is totally useless...
“...Senpai! Today, you are thousand times more disgusting than usual.”
“...We should call an ambulance now.”
One of the few female members started to shrink back.
The atmosphere was getting more and more heavy, so I quickly tried to think of some way to lead the topic toward a more normal direction.
“Hey! Look at that!”
I moved the mouse and chose a picture.
So, the commotion temporarily died down.
First, as usual, the tea-colour haired heroine was surrounded by a bunch of bad guys. Then, a commentary explained that the stage was 'Academy City’—
The initial event occurred.
“Oh, what a good drawing.”
The president scratched his chin. Since I knew nothing about that anime, I kept watching.
Now, the scene was showing the twin-tailed girl Shirai Kuroko chasing down a criminal. Although she didn’t look that way, she had quite a lot of endurance. Or should I say that she used her skills to replace her lack of muscle. Anyway, seeing a petite girl overwhelming a big guy was really satisfying. While bending that guy’s arm, Kuroko said:
“This is Judgement—you are the criminal that was reported, aren’t you?”
—Huh?
“This is Shirai Kuroko. One suspect is down. Uiharu, where is the remaining one?”
—Huh?
“This is Judgement! Please don’t resist—”
—Huh? Huh?
When I was having trouble speaking what was in my mind, the president slowly stood up.
With trembling voice, he pointed at Kuroko inside the computer’s screen.
“Hey...is this tone something a middle school girl would have?”
President—you shouldn’t have said that out!
What now? A crazy fanatic is here...!
“W-What what what what you said...till now is still enough! Say something! The next thing you say might decide your life!”
“No no no no! I think that her voice is quite good! Even I like that type of character! But after watching Code Geass, I must say that this voice is not suitable for a loli—!”
“Hmph, what is with your tone!? Just watch the first episode! Then you would surely take back what you said!”
“Interesting...! But I will say it beforehand, I’m not that easy to sway...!”
Twenty minutes later—
“So cute! Super cute! Unbelievably cute!”
The president had became Kuroko’s voice’s prisoner.
“See? I told you.”
“Right right...I lose. Just after the first episode, I agree that aside from Kuroko’s voice, the rest is pretty good. You see, I can still hear the lingering sound.”
He was not the only one.
“Ha, the character is both cute and cool—“
“A story about a super active girl. I want to read the manga now.”
Including me, all members gave a good reaction.
Fake Kuroko was pleased, he said:
“I’m happy to hear that! Then, let’s continue.”
Thus, the club’s activity for today was watching Railgun.
Still...
“Ah, that’s not bad. The next time I go shopping, I should go buy some of this merchandise—“
“Oh? Does that mean president intends to buy his new Trading Card? Recently, Weiß Schwarz Bushiroad sold extra copies of ‘A Certain Magical Index and Railgun’. Haha, of course, I already bought them all, if you want I could trade with you.”
“So that’s the reason you were so passionate back then? You bought the Blu-ray to complete your card collection?”
“In the end, I’m still unable to get some rare cards. I had about twenty-three Uiharu cards though. Ah, what a wonderful fate...hah...hah… Wait wait! Don’t even try to butt in between me and Saten-san’s red string of fate!”
“Shut up you idiot! You cosplayed Kuroko, yet you thought of yourself as Toyosaki Aki! Know your limit! From K-ON to Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu, I have seen them all!”
Those guys had no intention of watching anime in silence.
Even when the anime was playing, someone still said something out.
However, this might be our club’s style.
On the other hand, the girls were talking again.
“...Although Railgun is not bad, but if I have to rate, I prefer ‘A Certain Magical Index’, because I prefer magic to science. The world of Index is fine, it’s still on the science side. But it’s the magic side that the enemy came from. I’m very pleased to see magic users.”
“Especially there are six special rubies around!”[2]
“...Hmph...that’s normal for Index series. Besides, this is not a bad thing.”
“Huh? That’s so? By the way, among the enemies on magic side, who is your favorite?”
“Eh...ah...Terra of the Left in ‘God’s right seat’....”
Why are you so embarrassed?
They only asked who is your favorite.
“Hm...that Terra of the Left...appeared in Index volume 14 right...?”
“Yes.”
“Somehow, he didn’t look very lively...”
“It’s because he got rid of his ‘Original Sin’. In the light novel, God’s right seat can use any angelic magic because of that.”
He lectured his black haired junior, then let out a tired breath, and said:
“Terra of the Left’s magic is quite powerful, reading about it was exciting. He is indeed strong, compared to him, other opponents looked too plain.”
“And the next opponent is outright a cheater...”
“That’s right. I got the feeling that he could fight against Servant Saber’s holy sword [3]. His blade wasn’t as weak as it sounded. If Index gets another anime, he is undoubtedly going to be a famous character...Kuh kuh kuh...by the hand of JC Staff, his magic will shine.”
Yeah, I know that you guys like the Index series, but how about going back to talking about Railgun series?
Why are you talking about some Terra of the Left instead of Railgun?
"Priority—Lower body! Attack!”
“What did you just say? What kind of magic is that?”
“Execution of Light! Goddamn it, get it right already. To complete the ‘Son of God’ ritual, be serious…”
“Ah! Why didn’t Kamijou appear in the Railgun series? Because Mikoto is the main character? It was told from Mikoto’s point of view?”
“That’s not important right now. Look, Onee-sama is so moe! Look! Look.”
—Today, the game research club was noisy as usual.
When the song ‘Dear my friend’ appeared, I shrugged and left.
On the way home—
I borrowed a manga from the club and stood by my female junior’s side.
“Kousaka-senpai? —Are you listening, Kousaka-senpai?”
“Huh? Ah ah…yes?”
“Really, what is on your mind? Is it that interesting?”
“Ah, yeah, you can say so.”
I replied, still reading the manga.
“Although it was my first time reading it, it was quite good. At the beginning, I even thought it was a lesbian manga.”
“Ah, I can understand where that misunderstanding is coming from...”
“Although the character is indeed cute, but the fighting part was really brutal. It looked painful no matter what. But they endured it nevertheless. Those girls, really...”
“You are addicted.”
“Hmph.”
I didn’t answer, instead just flipped to the next page. It showed the girl when she was facing a powerful opponent. She was beaten, but she didn’t give up. Gritting her teeth, she stood up again.
For someone who lived in a world without magic nor superpowers, that was not something we could understand.
We couldn’t fully understand the horror of the fantasy beast known as ‘AIM Burst’.
But when I read that manga, I thought.
—Could I be like them, risking my life to protect something?
I parted with my junior and went home.
Back home, something more dangerous than the fantasy beast was waiting for me—my little sister.
A Level 0 like me, who couldn’t use Railgun, nor teleport—the best thing I could do was to please her, hoping to reduce the damage.
So, the first thing I should say is—
“Do you know Railgun?”
Translator's Notes and References
- ↑ http://quentinlau.blogspot.com/2008/11/kugimiya-disease.html
- ↑ Probably a parody for Ruby in Fate Stay Night Lyner Illya
- ↑ Probably a reference to Fate Stay Night/Fate Zero
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