Saiunkoku Monogatari:Volume 1 Chapter3

Chapter 2: The truth in the darkness

In the midst of pitch darkness, cherry blossom petals continued to fall without end.

A figure approached. When he realized I was there, he smiled.

Like a small ripple, a warm feeling spread through my heart. So happy…

When I tried to approach, that person went back the way they came.

---……brother…?

Chasing after the figure that distances itself. But regardless of how much I run, the gap continues to widen.

The hand that reaches out so desperately is so small, like a maple leaf.

--Why……

I felt like crying. That was the only person there for me.

Don’t go. Don’t go.

Don’t leave me alone.

The cherry blossoms blew away. They became wisterias, they became sweet osmanthus…… they became snowflakes.

The figure blended in with the snow, and vanished.

I kept waiting. Through spring, through summer, through autumn, through winter. Always.

--Don’t go.

I don’t even dare to say those words.

--Don’t go.

Just as I felt I was about to fall to my knees in despair, someone grabbed my hand firmly from behind.

Surprised. ……I turned around slowly.

--Waking with a start, the familiar face of a guard was right beside him.

“……Sei-ran……?”

“Forgive me for presuming to enter without our permission. You were crying out in your sleep……”

The emperor slowly sat up on his bed. After taking the evening meal together with Shuurei and returning to his chambers, he’d apparently fell asleep.

He was covered in cold sweat. When he thought to wipe the sweat from his bow, the emperor finally realized that he was holding Seiran’s hand.

Raising his arm while still holding that hand, Seiran hurriedly explained, "Ahhh...... umm, you reached out your hand and I unthinkingly...... I beg your pardon.

The Emperor still holding onto that hand, shook it up and down a couple of times.

"......Y-your majesty?"

Stopping his hands, the Emperor smiled.

"How about sleeping with me tonight, Seiran."

Seiran froze instantly. With an expression of having drunk pure vinegar on his face, it was obvious that he was trying, with all his might, to find some way out of his difficult situation. The Emperor cocked his head slightly.

"You don't want to."

"No...... Um, everyone has their own preferences. That is...

"I'm kidding," the Emperor said simply to a flustered Seiran, and smiled. "I just decided. I won't sleep with you."

"Whew......"

"It'd be too much of a waste."

"............"

Seiran wisely stayed silent.

The Emperor stared intently at Seiran.

"......as I thought. Seiran, aren't you a bit too masculine? Even though we're of a fairly similar age."

Having such a thing said so solemnly, Seiran was once again at a loss as to how to reply.

"I've been thinking recently, that it seems that Shuurei relies on you more than on me."

"............"

"You're a good man, so I can understand that. Also, you've been living together a long time. But, as Shuurei's husband, there are times when it annoys me."

"............"

"So, I think I'll go and bridge the gap with my wife."

The Emperor was very serious. Seiran trying to discern his intentions hesitantly asked, "And, i-in what way......?"

The Emperor tilted his head and thought silently for a moment when he suddenly came up with a plan, "I know, I'll have her call me by name as well."

And reluctantly letting go of Seiran's hand, he quickly jumped out of bed.

"There's no need to guard my chambers tonight."

The Emperor started walking away wearing only his nightwear, astonishing Seiran.

"W-wait a moment!"

"Hm?"

"You'll catch a cold! For all that it's spring, it still gets cold at night, so you should wear something on top."

The Emperor laughed, "While I like Shuurei, I also like you, Seiran."

Leaving a beautifully shocked frozen Seiran behind, the Emperor ended up leaving his chambers wearing only his nightwear afterall.

The moon shone brightly that night.

The Emperor thought back over the past month as the cool breeze brushed his cheek.

His heart was surprisingly calm. He thought that this was what it meant to be at peace. Even when being scolded by Shuurei too for some reason would make him very happy, his face would relax resulting in Shuurei getting even angrier with him. Wanting to experience that more, he'd lied about a number of things but, he figured it was fine. --because Shuurei's face when angry was very cute.

Having someone be concerned about oneself.

That it would bring such happiness.

The Emperor dropped his gaze to both his palms --The many things he should be able to grasp in his hands. Was Shuurei's smile one of those things. He then realised that if he closed his hand, he could grasp it. But if he continued, as he had up until then, and left his hands open, it would fall through his fingers---.

Up until then, he'd only had the barest of things in his hands.

Shouka, his place in the archives, the time he spent there-- those sorts of things which *to him* were very important, but small things. But he'd thought that it was fine that way. He long since given up wanting very much. --Except for one thing.

For that, he'd taken the throne he hadn't wanted. To him, it was only a temporary position. He wasn't the one who should be there. To protect the empty throne, being an Emperor in name, for when *that person* eventually returned. That's why while having taken the throne, he refused to be Emperor.

But then he met Shuurei.

He thought about if he could have her who had such unusual warmth. However, that was the same as letting go of the wish he'd so fervently hoped for up until then. She was a consort. Unless he were "Emperor" she couldn't be his. A breeze blew past. He looked at his palm-- and after a long moment slowly closed his fist.

Shusui looked up at the moon from inside the room.

"Time passed by so fast. --Has it been a month now?"

Shuurei leaned back against the sofa and sighed.

"How true. I wonder whether my coming here was worth it?"

"Of course."

Back to Chapter 3

Return to Main Page

Forward to Chapter 4