Seitokai no Getsumatsu:Chapter 4

Kaichou's Letter

--To Santa-san

Salutashons.

Are you genki? I'm genki myself. I'm so genki that my friend Chizuru told me, "At least in winter, just a little is fine, so won't you calm down please?..." Apparently I'm so genki I tire others out. Ehen.

Grandpa Santa-san, don't you catch colds? Fu,Fu,Fu. I'm not a child anymore either, so I don't think Santa-san is a magical existence that doesn't catch colds! I know your true identity--! As such, Santa-san. Or rather.

Super old and rich Grandpa who blasts through the skies at the speed of sound.

Please take care of yourself this year too. Please drive safely and do your annual job of distributing presents. Right right, I'm a glamorous adult now, but I've been a shockingly good kid this year, so do please deliver the present as every other year.

By the way, Santa-san, how many part-timers are you hiring this year? For this sudden question that arrives at the heart of the matter, Santa-san must be unable to stand up right now from the surprise.

Fu,Fu,Fu. I'm an adult now as well, so I can deduct the situation regarding the work. If you think about it... it's impossible! For Grandpa to deliver presents to the whole country by himself! To an adult like myself, such fairy tales won't pass!

That's right! Santa-san must be hiring part-timers for the season, just as the post office hires part timers for the rush of New Year Cards! I'm sure of it!

The only thing I fear is the number of reindeers. I think they are probably rare. They're so rare that I couldn't find any at the zoo even though I searched so long, so they must really be scarce. I assert: there aren't many reindeers.

Fu,Fu,Fu-. To my simply astonishing deductive skills, Santa-san who's reading the letter must have a pale face right now. I know this like the palm of my hand. But, the main show starts here!

Because there aren't many reindeers, naturally you can't hire that many part-timers either. In other words, this part-time job's acceptance rate is extremely low! Toudai entrance exam... no, it should be even harder than getting into MIT! What an obstacle! But that is exactly why...

I, Sakurano Kurimu, am just right for the job! Fuhahahahaha-.

Kohon. So as you can see, this is why I wrote to you. Please hire me for the job. I couldn't find any recruitment information on the net, so I took it upon myself to send you a letter directly. Sending a letter to Santa-san who's at the top... there shouldn't be a more effective method than this! How's that! I'm this capable! Now you want to hire me don't you?

By the way, I am a very good kid, so I think I have the quality of Santa. Rather, I, who was even elected to the student council, couldn't possible not have the right qualities.

Hourly pay around eighty-thousand yen would be just fine. After an hour of work, I'd like a two-hour break. Of course, the break is paid too. Regarding the reindeers, please prepare around four super thoroughbred "AKAHANA Premium" reindeers for my use. ...Mumu, what an overly cruel heavy workload. You might as well call me a volunteer. But, if I have Santa-san's request, I, kind as I am, will gladly accept. How nice, Santa-san. This year a capable talent signed up for the job!

Now then, since it's confirmed that I'll be hired, let's talk about the job now. Since I've already been promoted to a higner up, from now on it's straight talk. First, the number of part-timers that should be hired this year. Using my esoterically brilliant calcuations, the result comes out to be five including me. Even if Santa-san is included, it's still just six people. As such, I myself have decided who's responsible for which regions of the world for you. It's right below.

Santa-san himself ... Japan (since I want the real one for my own house)

Part-timer A ... America

Part-timer B ... Europe

Part-timer C ... Asia (Other than Japan)

Part-timer D ... Africa

Me ... Unpopulated Islands

A very even, wonderful distribution! Well if I had to say, my workload is slightly too much. I mean, for my part I have to travel all over the world. But for that, please leave it up to me who is ever so capable.

Now then, next is about the presents to deliver. Santa-san is most probably a very rich old grandpa, so there isn't any worries about money right? Since we're moving by reindeers there are no transportation fees. That should save us enough money to be rich. If you ride buses, your loose change depletes instantly after all... Kusun. If you remove that as a factor, the result of the savings we speak of should be plenty enough to deliver presents to all the kids in the world.

If there's that much money, then let's make this year a tad different and give high-class presents! Just yesterday I saw some somewhat pricey snacks in the convenience store! This year's santa will be a tad different! For example...

-I want a plastic model of a robot

If there's such a kid, then in place of the usual gundam model snuck underneath his pillow, this year--

Let's use that kids neighborhood for the government research facility to develop the newest weapons, and on top of that make the kid the director of the facility, making it possible for a real Strike Freedom to be manufactured!

Yup, just perfect! Kids and adults will both be hyped! If a beam or nuclear missle really shoots off, everyone would be excited. What a kind Santa-san.

And others too,

I want cute western clothes --> Immediately call the designers for the world's top ten brands to design clothes for the kid. Have it be done by morning. When she's awake, instead of her pajamas she's already in a dress!

Fun anime dvd --> Establish "A-kun's Anime production team" From the next day until next year's Christmas, broadcast an episode everyday. All three hundred sixty-five episodes. No summary episodes or reduced picture quality.

New game console --> A game console made just for the kid. By morning. With new games continuously coming out from the next day. Make sure to release Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, and Mario.

A doll --> Dispatch tons of people to become the kid's puppet. In the morning, there should be tons of slaves who say nothing else but "I am kid A-san's doll. Order me as you will." in a row by the bed.

I want love --> Produce a love comedy. Both parents are gone on a business trip abroad. The lad, eating his bread while running. Bumping into the Bishoujo. She transfers into his school. Opening her heart even while fighting all the time. Manipulate everything from the inside!

Father who hasn't come home since three years ago --> Found by morning. Bring Dad along. Whether he was in prison, heaven, or another world, no questions. Bring him back. That's how a pro Santa works.

To hold a star in my hand --> Earth is mine so he can't have it, but for now terraform Mars by morning. Make it inhabitable by humans as a gift. That's a quality Santa.

Peace --> Begin military intervention according to "Santatial Being." Exterminate all strife by morning!

So, like that, let's make this year's presents "more than what the kid wished for." Fuu. ...even I am shocked at how able I am. I might end up causing a revolution in the Santa industry at this rate, for this talent that just won't stop flowing.

So, there you have it. I'll be part-timing Santa this Christmas so I look forward to working with you. Ah, I'm having the handicrafts club make a special order of the Santa costume so you don't worry about that. This thoughtfulness... I'm so able you're speechless right?

Lastly, This year I'll be Santa as well, so I'll give Grandpa a present too. You see, it's because Grandpa Santa is there working hard to give kids presents every year that made me think there has to be someone giving out Christmas presents. The students at my school have also received many smiles of happiness from Santa-san, so I have to return the favor.

As such, look forward to this year's Christmas! Everyone all smiles, Happy Christmas!