Talk:Campione!:Volume 12 Chapter2

Liliana was crouching down while kneeling down on one leg on the map.

That sentence just seems wrong, but I don't know how to correct it. --Bilagaana (talk) 15:55, 11 January 2013 (CST)

I suggest "Liliana was crouching down on one knee over the map." I'm also wondering about the sentence before that line. The part where it mentions the height and across. Wouldn't it be better to just say lengh and width, since the map is laid out on the ground.--Lighthalzen (talk) 08:41, 12 January 2013 (CST)

First area of concern, i was too literal with the crouching thing so I changed it. As for height/across, it was just the first thing that came to my mind. If we want to get technical about it then fine, I'll change it to length and width.Thatsjustpeachy (talk) 18:28, 12 January 2013 (CST)

(*happyness at update!*) I suggest changing 'roaming these grounds' to 'roaming the Earth', assuming the word to be 'chijou' and given the context of the surrounding sentences. (( 地上 【ちじょう】 (n,adj-no) (1) above ground; surface; (2) earth; world; (P) )) Other than that, the sentences in the vicinity of 'had already called it quits' may be worth reconsidering, as other sentences indicate that the culprit had not in fact given up on the greyifying intention. (Or I could be misunderstanding.)