OreShura: Volume 1 Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Light Music is Mayhem

The next day, during lunch break time:

While eating lunch, I narrated in great detail what happened yesterday. Kaoru stared with wide eyes:

"Oh, that’s really an unexpected development."

Kaoru was right.

The fact that I got a girlfriend was a ridiculously abnormal event.

Yet I did not think that in a million years that I, famous for always going home after school, would be attending club activities…

"Do you know who is the advisor? If you don’t, you can’t start club activities, right?"

“She’s the Classical lesson teacher Itotani-sensei. Last year she was the instructor of the tea ceremony club, but after the third-years graduated, the tea ceremony club was shut down. We heard she wasn’t very busy, and it worked out that our club could take over the tea ceremony club. "

"Then how did you explain to the teacher the club activities?"

"For the purpose of re-examining the appearance of young maidens, to transform Hanenoyama high school students into dignified, pure, upright, and beautiful girls, learning etiquette or maybe courtesy, etcetera..."

I listened to Masuzu explain this to the teacher, but I was completely bewildered.

Well, forget it. It was just a spectacle of words.

"Our club activities will have the purpose of making us popular and pleasing everyone, fuhuhuhu~" Now that certainly wasn’t a proper thing to say.

Besides, there was also a more important unresolved priority: “whether my notebook would be leaked to Harusaki.”

I later asked Masuzu why she had to bring in all this nonsense--

"No special reason. This is just more interesting."

"This diary is full of very interesting subjects... I can clearly sense Eita’s extraordinary talent."

"But do not worry, I will not disclose the contents of the diary to Chiwa, nor will I let her know that this is in fact your personal diary."

"I promise you, in case this should ever happen, I will lift the relationship between us."

Well, since she said so, there’s no harm in believing that for now--

But it was impossible to get rid of the lingering unease.

"Having said that, Natsukawa’s initiative is really amazing yeah."

"Yeah, she was so fast it’s unbelievable."

In fact, she only spent one day to find an advisor, apply and set up a club, and pull Harusaki into the group. I didn’t expect that this wealthy daughter of an affluent family to be so powerful.

Incidentally, Masuzu was still not yet in the classroom, and I hadn’t heard that she would go to the student cafeteria... so where was she eating lunch?

"Oh right, what about Chihuahua?"

"It looks as if she is burning with fighting spirit......"

Even though it seemed like we hadn’t spoken in ages, Harusaki came over last night for dinner.

The dish was Ginger Roast pork, and she continuously refilled her rice bowl three times.

"Even if I was angry about studying with her! Well, anyways, I asked what I should not have asked, and she cried."

"I want to steal the secret, to become even more popular than Jun Natsukawa (Note: a gravure idol).... I must strive for new personality to show you!"

Harusaki splattered rice while talking excitedly, looking very happy.

Ever since she was unable to practice Kendo, I think she had too much excess energy.

Moreover, she often said she was "looking for new things to get into.”

It must have been because of this.

Hey!

"I always feel Eita has a very cheerful appearance?"

"Well, don’t say stupid things. You force me to reduce study time and I find it very annoying."

However, the expression on my face answered differently.

In fact, Kaoru was completely right. I was a little bit... happy.

Yet it wasn’t because I was taking part in a new club.

Rather, watching Harusaki repeatedly trying her hardest -- it didn’t feel bad.

"Having said that, being sandwiched in between two girls is very hard, too." Kaoru said with a wry smile.

"Yeah, only you can understand me."

"Of course, because we’re best friends."

This kind of empathetic feeling is something I also want to reach with my "girlfriend" and "childhood friend".

I eagerly look forward to it!

♦

After school --

There was a hanging scroll written in calligraphy by Masuzu hanging in front of the clubroom door.

"Self-Recreation Club" is finally ready to start activities.

"Harusaki, are you ready?" Masuzu asked.

Masuzu was wearing snowy white clothes as a cloak, which she mysteriously obtained from who knows where, one hand holding my notebook, looking as if she were a teacher. The style of dress was utterly well suited to her. Beautiful young maidens are just great!

"Young maidens’ self-recreation, let’s start!"

Chiwa muttered with discontent, but nevertheless kneeled down onto a seat cushion. Like a true experienced kendo practitioner, her back and spine was diligently straight, and her posture was very beautiful.

I followed and sat cross-legged on a folding chair, not far from the two girls.

"First of all, let’s agree on a goal."

"Goal?"

"First we target the person you want as your boyfriend. To put it simply, "who do you want ask out?""

"The objective is to make him “crazy for you”, right?"

"I believe setting a goal will make it easier to get results from the training."

"......But even if you want me to suddenly pick someone..."

She spoke, and briefly Chiwa glanced towards me.

What is it?

Was she going to ask for my advice about it?

"That’s right, it’s a rather good thing to have a goal. Well, do have anyone you like?"

"Ah… How could I have… uh?"

Chiwa bowed her head.

Ehhhhh…

She didn’t like any boy in particular, yet she still wanted to be popular?

This totally exhausts the point of having a goal.

"Don’t think too hard, it’s alright to start with those you think of as friends."

Chiwa bent her head down for a while and spoke, "Well..." She looked up and continued to say:

"......Sakata from Men's Basketball? He’s a senior. I always hear the girls in our class discussing how handsome he is."

Sakata?

Does the men's basketball club have anyone with that name?

"Do you mean Sakagami-senpai? Third-year."

"Ah, r-right, that’s him."

So it turned out to be that senior?

If it’s really him, even I know his background. He’s going participate in the National High School Sports Competition, and he’s the ace of Hanenoyama High School’s basketball team. He is very tall, good-looking, and is definitely considered "THE popular” male senior.

"But he is practically an unattainable flower, is that a problem?"

"Yeah, I definitely...... don’t recommend him." Masuzu said, vaguely.

I was a bit surprised.

I thought she would say, “ambitious goals are very good”.

"...No wait, actually this is very convenient."

She went on, as if putting aside her earlier hesitation. She wildly nodded and said, "Sakagami’s younger brother is our class. It might be easier to use him to introduce yourself."

"Maybe you can even get him tell his brother there is "a very cute girl" in his class.

After even all the trouble of finally picking a target, Chiwa’s expression still looked particularly unhappy.

"......Well, I guess I can first settle for the Sakashita-senpai as a goal."

"You mean Sakagami, right?"

"Ah, right, it’s Sakagami-senpai."

How did her enthusiasm suddenly disappear?

Just yesterday, she was so vigorously spirited.

"Well, since we’ve agreed on a goal—we’ll begin the first day of the lecture."

Masuzu stood in front of a whiteboard (which she got from who knows where), and said:

"First we’ll read aloud the "Boyfriend" Diary, so please pay attention and listen."

Huh?

I couldn’t help but be taken aback ... yet Masuzu’s eyes glanced at me with a smile, and told me "it’s nothing".

...Well, I’ll believe you for now.

May 28 Clear

"I want to introduce my partner – my guitar and Western music, as well as the rhythm of the soul."

Today, I carried my partners out with me.

They are me. Regardless of the time, I can’t let go, pass them away, or substitute them with false avatars.

It is the GUITAR! It is engraved as my soul partner.

When I carry the guitar, I look precisely like an artist.

The eyes of people passing on the street look at me differently.

That’s because they see an artist's eyes - looking forward in the line of sight.

Exposed to this ardent gaze, my partner and I become burning fire, hot, hot.

But my expression has always been KOOL.

Because -- no it’s not like that?

KOOL face × HOT soul = ∞

If it’s not like that, you can’t make real music --

Come on, today we’re opening the prelude of a live performance!

Let the dispirited school -- heat up now!

"Eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?!..."

This is ...

T-this is… Aaghhh ...

Masuzu really did follow the agreement we made, as she had made subtle changes, deleting specific terms, so you couldn’t tell that I wrote the diary.

She did this very well, and I wanted to praise her.

B-but...

But… Aaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhhhhhh…

"Hey, Hey, Ei-kun! Are you okay?"

I found Chiwa shaking my shoulder.

"Yeah I’m fine, Chiwa, haha, what’s wrong? You look so surprised."

"Because you suddenly started banging your head on the wall! Eh! You… you’re bleeding!"

Chiwa quickly took out from her bag red disinfectant fluid and gauze. It seems she had developed a habit of carrying first-aid since participating in the Kendo Club. She was very practiced and skilled with treating my injury.

“Would Ei-kun like to go to the school infirmary? "

Masuzu was also surprisingly caring.

-- Oh right, wasn’t she the one who started this trouble?!

Damn.....

I never imagined that reading the notebook in front of others would have such a great destructive power.

It really exceeded my expectations.

Maybe it really will affect my life.

I have to hurry and make Chiwa popular, and then stop the club activities, otherwise...

"S-sorry, I’m fine! We can keep going."

Masuzu nodded, and stood again in front of the whiteboard.

"Here’s we’ve read the point of this diary entry – ‘people who can play music are popular’! In particular: the guitar. In fact, ninety-seven percent of high school boys who start to learn the guitar do so to become “popular”. The investigation data is very clear; in other words, the guitar has a very good effect on popularity. Of course, this also applies to high school girls."

Although Masuzu calmly sneaked in some false rumors, I have to agree her claims might have some truth even though she inverted the reasoning.

People who play in bands are really popular. But is this because "bands make people popular" or just because "popular people play in bands?" Which of these, I'm not quite sure.

"But what if I can’t play the guitar?"

"Then what can you play?"

Chiwa tilted her head to the side said:

"Ehhh.................................... the Shinai?"

"Shinai are not musical instruments."

"But they make a sound when you hit with them, eh?"

"What kind of pitch is that?"

"Annoying ♪ Annoying ♪ "

"How you can say that so casually?!"

Masuzu tapped her baton on the whiteboard and said:

"It doesn’t matter if you can’t play."

"Eh?"

"You just have to look as if you know how to play. During school you’ll have no chance to perform anyways. "

"That’s right..."

"For a while, the "air guitar" was really fashionable, right? That’s the best evidence that if you to be popular, so don’t actually need to make music."

Masuzu pulled out a guitar case from behind the whiteboard.

It was a huge, hard, black-colored case.

"Here, this is for you."

Chiwa took the box, flipped it around and rolled her eyes:

"There’s no guitar in here?"

Masuzu shrugged, as if to mean, "What is this child saying?" with her body language. She asked, "If we put it in, wouldn’t it be too heavy?"

"......"

"Please carry this case with you. As a guitar player would say, a guitar is the equivalent of one’s own body, right, Eita-kun?"

"Sure."

In the notebook, it was written like that.

Though in reality, I know nothing about the guitar.

My diary entry was entirely based on the idea, "If I could play the guitar.” You could say it was a type of psychological preparation or vision for the future... or well… maybe a kind of ideal dream narrative.

Ugh.

No...

"Waaahhhhhhhhh! If you jump from that window, you’ll be killed!"

"What happened to you just then?! Calm down, Ei-kun!"

I finally gave up the idea of suicide with Chiwa’s attempts to calm me.

Masuzu coughed, cleared her throat:

"If anyone wants to touch this case, just angrily rebuke them, "Do not defile my soul!" or "Let go of your dirty hands!" Characteristic irritability is a distinctive trait of a guitarist."

This was a seriously prejudiced stereotype.

"But the inside is empty, right?"

"But if you put a guitar in, won’t it be too heavy?"

"......"

Chiwa wore an indescribable expression on her face, while staring at the case.

"Also, you have to completely belittle Japanese music."

"W-why is that? "

"This is the predisposition of the guitarist. Listening to Japanese music is scum, trash, dirty bugs! You need to have this kind of mental preparation, especially listening to what Janizu or AK. The moment you hear this kind of music, let your ears rot with recognition."

Huh? This is what with what?

Does Masuzu really have an irreconcilable hatred of Japanese music?

"Will this really make me popular?"

Chiwa said, wrinkling her eyebrows.

It seemed like was she finally began to feel suspicious.

"Of course, my "boyfriend" notes are more perfect than the Bible."

Even faced with the doubtful questions, Masuzu was unwavering.

"Hatred of Japanese music and love of Western music is an unconditional requirement for a guitarist."

"I’ve never listened to Western music, and I don’t know any singers."

"Not singers. They’re called "artists.""

Masuzu carefully corrected the details.

"Don’t worry, if someone asks which artists you like, just pick a name from “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures Part IV," as famously recorded in the notebook."

"......"

"Oh..., what is "JoJo?""

"!"

Masuzu started at Chiwa with a stunned expression:

"You’re saying you do not know JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures?"

"Nope. Does it have something to do with barbecued meat?"

"............"

Masuzu sighed deeply.

Did this mean that, despite her appearance, she used to like shounen manga, just like how Chiwa really likes shoujo manga?

"I finally know the reason why you are unpopular. It is because Harusaki Chiwa is a Peking Man who does not even know JoJo."

"You, you despicable little person! I’m just a normal Japanese girl!"

No, she is using "cavemen" to insult you.

"If you wish to claim things that you’re a Japanese person living in the modern era, please finish reading JoJo first. Popular or not, this is where is starts."

""JoJo" turned out to be such an important factor......"

Chiwa dejectedly hung her head.

But only for a few seconds.

"I know, I’ll stop by the bookstore to buy tem on the way home!"

Her hair abruptly flicked up as she lifted her head, her pupils flaring up again with excitement.

"Originally, I wanted you to read it all from the beginning of the first part... but since the famous sayings are in the fourth part, get volumes twenty-nine to forty-seven. A single set is four hundred ten yen, so altogether that’s a total of 7790 yen."

"That’s so expensive! I only get five thousand yen in allowance every month!"

"Please understand the point. In order to be popular, one needs money."

"Really, this so-called love... it depends on how much money......"

Chiwa eyes had a faraway look.

She really had no way out then…

"Don’t worry, Chiwa, I can lend you a full set of JoJo."

"T-thank you, Ei-kun~!"

Chiwa looked exactly like a puppy that had been fed a treat, and excitedly moved closer to me.

"If I really like what I read, do I have to buy it?"

Masuzu urged her to do so. It was evident that she was a hard-core fan of JoJo.

After that, we talked about the details of the popularity-operation to be carried out the next day.

♦

And just in this way, the next day after school --

"Hey, hey -- Ei-kun."

While holding the guitar case, Chiwa came to our classroom.

"Hey -- isn't it Chiwa? Why did you bring a guitar with you today?"

"This is, of course! The guitar is my soul."

Chiwa and I were reciting our lines word-by-word.

As for Masuzu, she sat next to me, completely indifferent to us while writing the day-duty log. If there were any problems, we were supposed to let her know roughly in that way.

Sakagami-senpai’s little brother sat to my right one desk, and then forward three seats.

He was chatting with a female friend, which meant he hadn’t gone home yet.

It was a good opportunity.

"That’s strange? Chihuahua can play the guitar?"

The one who spoke out was the leader of a group of girls -- Akano Mei.

She was said to have a large circle of friends. No matter in which class, boy or girl, she had friends, practically as if she were the embodiment of the ideal girl.

She and Chiwa should have only been on speaking terms, so the fact she was called by her nickname was a really worthy change.

"Hi, Mei-chan! Yes, I can play the guitar, ahahahha."

"How long have you played?"

"H-how long, um… I’ve been holding guitar picks since before I drank from milk bottles!"

"Are you part of a band?"

"M-me… I play on my own! Occasionally, I make solo performances in front of the train station?"

"Amazing, you’re like a street musician?"

"S-sure! Aha! Ahahaha!"

Hey......

Don’t be so boastful like that, alright?

Yet nonetheless, this conversation seemed to be useful. I saw the younger brother of Sakagami glancing from time to time at Chiwa.

We faced Masuzu to the side -- and noticed under the table, she had put up an index finger.

That was the signal to "continue on.”

"What kind of music do you normally listen to?”

Akano’s friends -- Ao Kano and Sumeragi Tsuki added the topic.

The two girls were the social core of our class, commonly known as the "Red-Green duo”.

"Uh-h, like RED HOT... CHILI PEPPER. There’s also B'BAD COMPANY and such, right?"

Although she stumbled about slowly, Chiwa still answered the correct names of the stand-in names.

Evidently, she completed reading all of Part IV last night.

"RED HOT.... What’s that?"

"You don’t know it? They’re a very famous American band."

Ao Kano blinked with awe towards Sumeragi Tsuki, willing to lend an explanation.

It seemed that Ao Kano was an "expert".

"Harusaki, do you like RECHILI?"

Assorted puffer-fish hot pot? I’ve eaten it when I traveled with my family in Kyushu, but I much prefer pork shabu-shabu."

Hey, idiot Chiwa!

You should just think about the context! RECHILI is an abbreviation of RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS!

"Ahhh -- sorry, Harusaki doesn’t like this abbreviation, right?"

"Huh?"

“Old fans all abbreviate RHCP or CHILI PEPPERS, my father said so. "

Chiwa looked as if she finally understood:

"Ahhh! Uh, I was an old fan of theirs! I am an OLD TYPE!"

It seems that Chiwa cannot use telepathy. (Note: there is a reference to Gundam here that I don’t entirely understand)

"Well, since you’re a fan of the CHILI PEPPERS, your guitar should also be a STRAT, right?"

"Huh?"

"Frusciante is really handsome! It’s too bad he left the band."

“Fr-fruscian? Then who’s his replacement?”

“Replacement?"

This conversation isn’t working.

Although I would have very much liked to help her, I have almost no knowledge of Western music. Even I just learned that RED HOT CHILI PEPPER"S" was their correct name moments ago.

Faced with this kind of situation, I gave a sidelong glance towards Masuzu--

"Ahhhh... the clouds are red like blood, the gods of twilight are near."

Masuzu leaned on the desk with her hand supporting her cheek, as if she became a poet who lazily gazed out of the window.

It was as if everything had nothing to do with her.

I've never seen such an excessive person!

"Let me see your guitar."

Akano said this sentence decisively.

"N-no! This is my soul! I can’t just let other people casually look at it!"

Chiwa protectively shifted her (empty) guitar case behind her.

"Huh? Why not, just let me look at your precious STRAT--

"You should play a little for us then! Even a little bit would be great!"

She was at her limit.

"Come on Chiwa! It’s about time for you to play for us, right?"

I wanted to help her, but --

"Yeah, I want to see too--"

At this point, Sakagami’s brother chimed in:

"My brother's hobby is collecting old guitars. His room is full of guitars. Maybe Harusaki would be able to get along with him--"

Exactly like his brother, he had a handsome face. He approached Chiwa.

Finally backed into a corner, Chiwa trembled all over and clung to the guitar case.

I profoundly noticed how short her body was.

Carrying a large guitar case made her little body seem especially short; after all, Chihuahua was her nickname for a reason.

Yet her physique was clearly very strong.

Female high school students generally can’t even compare with her. After eight years of Kendo experience, the results were not just skin deep.

With this, Chiwa stammered:

“O-o-k-okay? I-I-I’ll let you see... "

She grabbed the neck of the guitar case, and raised it up as if it were a Shinai.

"Duuaaaaah!"

Chiwa issued a roar from the depths of her stomach:

"Duaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

She was like a crazy destructive guitarist at a live performance, and soon after began waving the guitar case!

"Duoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Sakagami’s little brother was dumbfounded, and stared blankly.

Everyone in the class held their breath, or was petrified while staring at Chiwa’s disheveled hair and destructive actions. Luckily, her arms were very short, so she didn’t cause any damage to anything around her.

"Huuph--duaaaaahhh!"

Finally, she gave one last epic-finishing cry, reminiscent of her glorious days in the Kendo Club.

The classroom was absolutely silent.

"ROCK AND ROLL! THANK YOU! I love you!"

Chiwa’s face was stiff with grin as she waved vigorously to audience.

This was the end of the live performance.

"..................I’m done!"

Chiwa again grabbed her guitar case, and fled like a rabbit from the classroom.

No one tried to run after her.

We all remained motionless.

And didn’t even speak a word.

In this frozen classroom, only one person let out a sound.

Masuzu Natsukawa.

She had buried her face on the desk, her body shaking with vibration.

I was under the impression that she was devastated by the tragic failure, since she was the sponsor of this project. I never expected--

"Ahahahhaahahahahhaa! Wuhahaahaahahahaha!"

She was laughing.

Crying.

Her shoulders quivered.

Her entire body burst out laughing.

--I really have never seen such a ridiculous person!

---

Notes

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