Difference between revisions of "User talk:Thatsjustpeachy"
m (Yeah, cleaning up this 'wall of text'. Should be done within another 24 hr.) |
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* The pale blue sky stretched for '''miles, with not a single cloud to be seen'''. --> The pale blue sky stretched for miles, '''without a cloud in sight'''. I guess that captures the 'feel' better? |
* The pale blue sky stretched for '''miles, with not a single cloud to be seen'''. --> The pale blue sky stretched for miles, '''without a cloud in sight'''. I guess that captures the 'feel' better? |
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* It was already past mid-May, the '''sunlight''' being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about. --> It was already past mid-May, the '''sun''' being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about. |
* It was already past mid-May, the '''sunlight''' being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about. --> It was already past mid-May, the '''sun''' being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about. |
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− | * The monotonous sky seemed to be the only one ignoring approaching summer’s presence, '''it’s''' appearance as normal as it always was. --> The monotonous sky seemed to be the only one ignoring approaching summer’s presence, '''its''' appearance as normal as it always was. (Grammar it's stands for "it is")[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/it%27s Wikipedia - it's] |
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* However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of '''moments, and at this moment in time he''' hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. --> However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of moments '''and, until now, he''' hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. (Just a suggestion) 'until now' seems to make the sentence 'flow' better compared to 'at this moment in time'. |
* However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of '''moments, and at this moment in time he''' hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. --> However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of moments '''and, until now, he''' hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. (Just a suggestion) 'until now' seems to make the sentence 'flow' better compared to 'at this moment in time'. |
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* Kurou was currently in '''one corner''' of the academy he was attending as a student, '''a vibrantly viridian garden'''. --> Kurou was currently in '''a corner''' of the academy he was attending as a student, '''a vibrant viridian garden'''. I guess vibrant viridian[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viridian (Viridian is a blue-green pigment, a hydrated chromium(III) oxide, of medium saturation and relatively dark in value.)] garden makes more sense. |
* Kurou was currently in '''one corner''' of the academy he was attending as a student, '''a vibrantly viridian garden'''. --> Kurou was currently in '''a corner''' of the academy he was attending as a student, '''a vibrant viridian garden'''. I guess vibrant viridian[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viridian (Viridian is a blue-green pigment, a hydrated chromium(III) oxide, of medium saturation and relatively dark in value.)] garden makes more sense. |
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* “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in '''anycase'''… W-w-w-w-el-co…” --> “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in '''any case'''… W-w-w-w-el-co…” |
* “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in '''anycase'''… W-w-w-w-el-co…” --> “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in '''any case'''… W-w-w-w-el-co…” |
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* Her skirt was dangerously short, till the '''point it barely''' concealed her panties. --> Her skirt was dangerously short, till the '''point where it barely''' concealed her panties. |
* Her skirt was dangerously short, till the '''point it barely''' concealed her panties. --> Her skirt was dangerously short, till the '''point where it barely''' concealed her panties. |
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− | * Above all else though, because the uniform was tightly fitting to her body, Hinako’s ample bosom stood out, revealing just '''how well stacked''' she really was. --> Above all else though, because the uniform was tightly fitting to her body, Hinako’s ample bosom stood out, revealing just '''how well-endowed''' she really was. |
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* “That woman… '''Such a needless souvenir to leave behind'''.” --> “That woman… leaving such an needless souvenir behind.” |
* “That woman… '''Such a needless souvenir to leave behind'''.” --> “That woman… leaving such an needless souvenir behind.” |
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* She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou '''problems'''. --> She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou '''trouble'''. |
* She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou '''problems'''. --> She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou '''trouble'''. |
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* Wearing the uniform of the academy, both hands were gripped tightly onto his sword as he lifted it into a '''raised position'''. Just my thoughts, but doesn't 'raised position' sound a little weird? |
* Wearing the uniform of the academy, both hands were gripped tightly onto his sword as he lifted it into a '''raised position'''. Just my thoughts, but doesn't 'raised position' sound a little weird? |
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* Returning the sword to the raised position, he '''repeated swinging his sword'''. --> Returning the sword to the raised position, he '''repeatedly swung his sword'''. or maybe '''again he swung his sword'''? |
* Returning the sword to the raised position, he '''repeated swinging his sword'''. --> Returning the sword to the raised position, he '''repeatedly swung his sword'''. or maybe '''again he swung his sword'''? |
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− | * Also he had spent the whole of yesterday moving his things around in the new house''', so other than cleaning''' he hadn’t been able to do anything else. --> Also he had spent the whole of yesterday moving his things around in the new house '''so, other than cleaning,''' he hadn’t been able to do anything else. |
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− | * Although it might seem a little rude to Sefi, '''he had the confidence''' if they were to fight a hundred battles he would win every one of them. --> Although it might seem a little rude to Sefi, '''he had confidence that''' if they were to fight a hundred battles he would win every one of them. |
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− | * The Seven Swords '''were a''' title given to the strongest amongst the Swordies. --> The Seven Swords '''was a''' title given to the strongest amongst the Swordies. |
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* Within the Seven Swords, the '''most brilliant''' of them was given the title of Sword Saint. How about 'strongest' ? |
* Within the Seven Swords, the '''most brilliant''' of them was given the title of Sword Saint. How about 'strongest' ? |
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− | * Even if his physical ability had '''gone down''', or his body had dulled, Kurou wasn’t going to use those as excuses to lose. How about 'decreased'? |
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* Kurou swung his '''blade''' down even harder. Wouldn't 'sword' make more sense instead of blade? |
* Kurou swung his '''blade''' down even harder. Wouldn't 'sword' make more sense instead of blade? |
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* There was a fine line between training and '''ruining his body'''. --> How about 'overexerting himself'? |
* There was a fine line between training and '''ruining his body'''. --> How about 'overexerting himself'? |
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− | * Taking a shower now would be a hassle, '''but at the very least he felt he should wash his face'''. --> Taking a shower now would be a hassle, '''but felt he should at least wash his face'''. |
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− | * '''Previously home''' was just a small cottage with very little '''floor space''', but now it was a two story building, so the number of rooms had increased. --> '''Previously, home''' was just a small cottage with very little '''floor area,''' but now it was a two story building, so the number of rooms had increased. |
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* He could hear Sefi’s stream of '''abuse''' from behind the closed door. --> He could hear Sefi’s stream of '''insults''' from behind the closed door. |
* He could hear Sefi’s stream of '''abuse''' from behind the closed door. --> He could hear Sefi’s stream of '''insults''' from behind the closed door. |
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* ... with all his might as well as continued to stay inside the '''toilet''', the fact that Sefi hadn’t resorted to violence was a reflection of her kind nature. Wasn't he in the '''washroom'''? |
* ... with all his might as well as continued to stay inside the '''toilet''', the fact that Sefi hadn’t resorted to violence was a reflection of her kind nature. Wasn't he in the '''washroom'''? |
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* When he '''finally noticed his surroundings''', Hinako was already standing next to him, staring at Kurou intently. Wouldn't 'came to his senses' (or something like that) make a little more sense? |
* When he '''finally noticed his surroundings''', Hinako was already standing next to him, staring at Kurou intently. Wouldn't 'came to his senses' (or something like that) make a little more sense? |
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− | * No, there is, thought Kurou as he gazed '''as''' Hinako suspiciously. --> No, there is, thought Kurou as he gazed '''at''' Hinako suspiciously. |
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− | * I should probably have '''an antacid''' on hand, thought Kurou as he unexpectedly began to panic. --> I should probably have (some?) '''antacid''' on hand, thought Kurou as he unexpectedly began to panic. |
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− | * Other than the TV, table, and a small cupboard, there '''was''' essentially no other pieces of furniture or appliances. It was '''quite a plainly adorned room.''' --> Other than the TV, table, and a small cupboard, there '''were''' essentially no other pieces of furniture or appliances. It was a '''quite plainly adorned room'''. |
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* Kurou was sitting right in front of the table '''at''' the center of the room. --> Kurou was sitting right in front of the table '''in''' the center of the room. |
* Kurou was sitting right in front of the table '''at''' the center of the room. --> Kurou was sitting right in front of the table '''in''' the center of the room. |
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[[User:はじめ|はじめ]] ([[User talk:はじめ|talk]]) 06:38, 22 January 2014 (CST) Yeah, haven't quite finished editing this chapter. Well, the above are just my suggestions. Would you (Thatsjustpeachy) happen to be translating from a Chinese raw? There are a few sentences that seem to be a little awkward ... that aside, thanks for the effort you put into your translations and I hope that you continue to translate this LN. [[User:はじめ|はじめ]] ([[User talk:はじめ|talk]]) 06:38, 22 January 2014 (CST) |
[[User:はじめ|はじめ]] ([[User talk:はじめ|talk]]) 06:38, 22 January 2014 (CST) Yeah, haven't quite finished editing this chapter. Well, the above are just my suggestions. Would you (Thatsjustpeachy) happen to be translating from a Chinese raw? There are a few sentences that seem to be a little awkward ... that aside, thanks for the effort you put into your translations and I hope that you continue to translate this LN. [[User:はじめ|はじめ]] ([[User talk:はじめ|talk]]) 06:38, 22 January 2014 (CST) |
Revision as of 14:05, 28 January 2014
Editing 剣神の継承者
Prologue of Vol 2
- The pale blue sky stretched for miles, with not a single cloud to be seen. --> The pale blue sky stretched for miles, without a cloud in sight. I guess that captures the 'feel' better?
- It was already past mid-May, the sunlight being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about. --> It was already past mid-May, the sun being glaringly bright and warm winds blowing about.
- However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of moments, and at this moment in time he hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. --> However, those phenomena would only last for the briefest of moments and, until now, he hadn’t spotted anything out of the ordinary. (Just a suggestion) 'until now' seems to make the sentence 'flow' better compared to 'at this moment in time'.
- Kurou was currently in one corner of the academy he was attending as a student, a vibrantly viridian garden. --> Kurou was currently in a corner of the academy he was attending as a student, a vibrant viridian garden. I guess vibrant viridian(Viridian is a blue-green pigment, a hydrated chromium(III) oxide, of medium saturation and relatively dark in value.) garden makes more sense.
- There was a grove of trees in the deepest part of the garden, and that was the location of the small cottage in which he resided. --> There was a grove of trees in the deepest part of the garden, and that was the location of the small cottage where he resided. --> There were a grove of trees in the deepest part of the garden, which marked the location of the small cottage where he resided. (Though I prefer this suggestion more, it seems to change the meaning a little)
- Most importantly though, since it was within school grounds, commuting to school was a breeze. Coma there?
- Kurou suddenly came to a halt, placing his hand on the katana strapped to his waist. --> Kurou suddenly came to a haltand placed his hand on the katana strapped to his waist.
- Of course, his state of mind was prepared for anything to happen. --> Of course, he was mentally prepared for anything. 'His state of mind' sounds somewhat weird when used in that context.
- Where the grove opened up into a clearing, there was a girl who was putting her spirit into swinging her sword. Maybe instead of 'spirit' how about 'whole'?
- The sunlight streamed through her golden hair, which was tied in a sidetail, she was wearing a pale beige blazer, and the hem of her miniskirt was flapping about. --> The sunlight filtered through her golden hair, which was tied in a sidetail. She was wearing a pale beige blazer, and the hem of her miniskirt was flapping about.
- The blade of the sword she was wielding was broad and thick, and it was roughly as long as she was tall. --> The blade of the sword she was wielding was broad, thick, and roughly as long as she was tall.
- Just once look at it and it was clear that this sword was a genuine broadsword-esque blade. --> Just one look at it and it was clear that this sword was a genuine broadsword-esque blade.
- However, the blonde girl was handling it lightly—even wielding it single-handedly on occasion. --> However, the blonde girl was handling it lightly—even wielding it single-handedly occasionally.
- Her practice swings were stirring up wind in the grove, causing the trees to sway and their trunks to bend. --> Her practice swings were stirring up air in the grove, causing the trees to sway and their trunks to bend.
- It was scenery that didn’t look rooted in reality at all. --> It was a scene that didn’t look rooted in reality at all.
- Swordies could crush rock with their bare hands, and sprint faster than the wind. --> Swordies could crush rock(s?) with their bare hands and sprint faster than the wind.
- Above all else though, Swordies were a race that was proficient with the sword from the time they were born into the world. --> Above all else, Swordies were a race proficient in the sword since the time they were born into the world.
- Although appearance wise humans and Swordies looked alike, they were two completely different living organisms. --> Although, appearance wise, humans and Swordies looked alike, they were two completely different living organisms.
- “Speaking of which, you’re finally discharged. I was wondering how long you were going to spend being cooped up in there.” --> “Speaking of which, you’re finally discharged. I was wondering how long you were going to spend cooped up in there.”
- “I’m a human, you know. I got a deep gouging wound on my shoulder, not to mentioned I was slashed in various other places. The doctor remarked that the fact that I could be discharged in two week was already a miracle of sorts.” --> “I’m a human, you know. I got a deep wound gouged on my shoulder, not to mention that I was slashed in various other places. The doctor remarked that the fact that I could be discharged in two week was already a miracle of sorts.”
- There was some stiffness left in it, but it had roughly healed from the incident two weeks ago. --> It was still a little stiff, but it had roughly healed from the incident two weeks ago. (Makes more sense & a flows a little better)
- “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in anycase… W-w-w-w-el-co…” --> “Humans are such inconvenient creatures. Well, in any case… W-w-w-w-el-co…”
- Her skirt was dangerously short, till the point it barely concealed her panties. --> Her skirt was dangerously short, till the point where it barely concealed her panties.
- “That woman… Such a needless souvenir to leave behind.” --> “That woman… leaving such an needless souvenir behind.”
- She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou problems. --> She was currently missing, but even when she was gone she was still causing Kurou trouble.
- However, the building in front of Kurou was a brand new two storied house that looked like it had been prefabricated. --> However, the building in front of Kurou was a brand new two storey house that looked like it had been prefabricated. There should be a better word choice than 'prefabricated' ? How about preconstructed?
- Kurou nodded, chuckling wryly on the inside. It was hard to the academy to refuse any of Sefi’s requests. --> Kurou nodded, chuckling wryly on the inside. It was hard for the academy to refuse any of Sefi’s requests.
- Living together with Hinako was something that was unavoidable and he couldn’t cancel, but now that Sefi was living together with them… --> "Couldn't cancel"? There should a better phrase ...
- Kurou’s hand lightly touched the katana that was by his side. --> Did he take his katana off? Wouldn't "strapped to his side" (something like that) make a little more sense?
はじめ (talk) 01:32, 27 January 2014 (CST) Guess I finished editing the prologue (for now). Well, (once again) the above are just my suggestions.はじめ (talk) 01:32, 27 January 2014 (CST)
Chapter 1 of Vol 2
- Wearing the uniform of the academy, both hands were gripped tightly onto his sword as he lifted it into a raised position. Just my thoughts, but doesn't 'raised position' sound a little weird?
- Returning the sword to the raised position, he repeated swinging his sword. --> Returning the sword to the raised position, he repeatedly swung his sword. or maybe again he swung his sword?
- Within the Seven Swords, the most brilliant of them was given the title of Sword Saint. How about 'strongest' ?
- Kurou swung his blade down even harder. Wouldn't 'sword' make more sense instead of blade?
- There was a fine line between training and ruining his body. --> How about 'overexerting himself'?
- He could hear Sefi’s stream of abuse from behind the closed door. --> He could hear Sefi’s stream of insults from behind the closed door.
- ... with all his might as well as continued to stay inside the toilet, the fact that Sefi hadn’t resorted to violence was a reflection of her kind nature. Wasn't he in the washroom?
- When he finally noticed his surroundings, Hinako was already standing next to him, staring at Kurou intently. Wouldn't 'came to his senses' (or something like that) make a little more sense?
- Kurou was sitting right in front of the table at the center of the room. --> Kurou was sitting right in front of the table in the center of the room.
はじめ (talk) 06:38, 22 January 2014 (CST) Yeah, haven't quite finished editing this chapter. Well, the above are just my suggestions. Would you (Thatsjustpeachy) happen to be translating from a Chinese raw? There are a few sentences that seem to be a little awkward ... that aside, thanks for the effort you put into your translations and I hope that you continue to translate this LN. はじめ (talk) 06:38, 22 January 2014 (CST)
Kenshin no Keishousha
I just wanted to say thanks for the work your putting into your translations.
Thanks TJP for taking this project again. :) --Chancs (talk) 01:05, 12 November 2013 (CST)
I'll upload the image of volumes 2,3 after thursday (Due to important exam ) --Yoyoyo5678 (talk)
Thanks for picking Kenshin no Keishousha again and while I'm at it, making the volume 2 current content readable. :D Zeikuu (talk) 12:54, 14 November 2013 (CST)
I'm done with V2 but I am very sorry I messed up a little with the names of the Image --Yoyoyo5678 (talk)
I'm done with V3 too --Yoyoyo5678 (talk)
Hoping to support your work as a editor
Hello thatsjustpeachy my user name is Tjobbear I am a inexperienced editor in baka-tsuki and yours translations are top notch I hope I can have permission to support you in your translations (even if it maybe only a little) on kenshin as a editor in the project.
Editing For Kenshin no Keishousha
I would like to register to be an editor. Are there any kind of requirements to meet? LT (talk)
Thank You!
Editing Kenshin
Hi I love your work on kenshin. I was just wondering, how do I become an editor? I promise my english good.--Hayashi s (talk) 18:51, 15 August 2013 (CDT)