OreShura: Volume 6 Chapter 0

【Fake boyfriend】 にせ　かれし、ふぇいく

1.A boyfriend used to lie to others, a fake lover.

2.A human puppet used to perform monyomonyo on.

(Source: SBCreative magazine “Dictionary of the Art of Bringing out Yourself)

The more tricks we play, the more stupid little things will foil our plans.

—Eita, Regret of the Soul

Chapter 0: Relationship as fake lovers exposed is mayhem

A memory that I don’t want to recall.

That was a year before this, spring of the third year of middle school.

“You were always lying to me, weren’t you?”

“That matter, and now these, every single thing are lies!”

The relationship between parents who had a tensed relationship since year end was worsening. Although there was an unspoken rule that they will control themselves when I was awake, the argument still goes on every night.

At the start I was still anxious, but I got numb after a while. I always shut myself in my room, listening to music over headphones to drown their voices.

However, when the music stops, it is still possible to hear Dad’s excuses, and Mom’s shouts. Their roles change each day, and looks like today is Mom’s turn to attack. She was shouting against Dad’s dishonesty and cheating.

It really is disheartening. My heart is cold.

Mom looks really angry at Dad’s lies, but to me, she is not very different. Saying things like “Mom and Dad will always be lovey-dovey!” “Ei-chan is the product of our love!” and so on when I was small, when I look at it now, isn’t it all lies?

If it will get exposed immediately, then don’t lie.

Once you start lying, continue to the very end.

Once you get exposed, just say “sorry”.

From this ugly argument between the two, I should’ve understood this.

I should’ve known better.

—Easier said than done.

The start of the second semester of my first year of high school, I face a serious situation.

♦

After school, the corridor outside the auditorium turns into a mayhem.

“Fake boyfriend, what does it mean?”

Hime, still sitting on the floor, stared at us. Masuzu and I look back at her, unable to say anything.

This lie that has been skilfully maintained for quite a while—not perfectly, but we managed to deceive Chiwa, Fuyuumi and the rest of the student body that we were lovers, was exposed with just Hime “accidentally overhearing”.

“Hey, president, what does it mean?”

Hime asked with a quivering voice, and Masuzu stared at her.

“So you heard us, Akishino-san.”

“Why? Is what Eita-kun’s aunt said true?”

“Of course not, we’re real lovers.”

I look at Masuzu instinctively.

Looks like she plans to cover this up simply again.

“Then what was the ‘fake boyfriend’ thing you were talking about?”

“Hmm, firstly—let’s start from my contact with hyperdimensional thought entity.” Masuzu said with a serious expression.

Hyperdimensional thought entity.

……which one is it…….

“This happened a few days after I started a relationship with Eita-kun. I can feel the presence of a powerful ‘Dragon Aura’, and encountered a hyperdimensional thoughttt entity who calls himself ‘Pole man’. He came to warn me ‘Kidou Eita is Burning Fighting Fighter, if you have a relationship with him, you will attract the enmity of the Wyverns and get into trouble’. But I could not give up on Eita-kun, and told the man this. So he said ‘If that’s the case, you only need to chant “fake boyfriend” when Hermit Purple of the Wyvern uses illusionary power on you’. And then—just a moment ago, we were under his illusionary power, you should understand it right?”

Ah, I remember.

I remember this is the setting of Hime in the current world, kind of like “Gaia” theory.

A setting that even I almost forgot, Masuzu still remembers it quite clearly. She even managed to slip in a JoJo reference.

Looks like Masuzu plans to use Hime’s chuunibyou to her advantage, covering this incident up, a beautiful plan……no, a despicable plan, you can say she got hold of Hime’s weakness.

But—

“Don’t talk bullshit!”

Hime’s shout took Masuzu aback.

Even I got shocked, and almost shouted in surprise.

For Hime, this is a rare occasion of her shouting, and more importantly……

—This is also the first time.

Even though indirectly, this is the first time Hime called her own imagination “bullshit”.

“……bullshit?”

Masuzu’s taken aback expression disappeared, she smiled.

A smile which looks like a challenge, but also looks like an empty threat.

“Bullshit, what do you mean? Isn’t this what Hime-san always says? You are the Burning Pudding Princess, and the girlfriend of Burning Fighting Fighter Kidou Eita’s in his past life, right? Isn’t this the ‘truth’ you said quite a few times?”

Hime stared at Masuzu fiercely.

Her eyes shows fear……and, a very obvious “rage”.

Masuzu stared at her eyes calmly, and said, “So……I’m Eita-kun’s ‘girlfriend’ is also a truth, let’s not talk about Harusaki-san and Fuyuumi-san, but you, as an ‘ex-girlfriend’, you should understand right?”

Anyways, Masuzu is offering a deal to Hime.

—I always pretend not to see you lying.

—So, would you pretend not to see me lie too?

This is not unreasonable, but at least Masuzu never look down on Hime’s chuunibyou behaviour and question her “isn’t this just your imagination?”

But, is looking at Hime’s chuunibyou and our fake relationship the same a good thing?

I don’t think so, and Hime probably think like me too.

“……I never thought Prez was like this……”,Hime muttered while looking at Masuzu with red eyes.

“No, I’ve always been, from top to toe, this kind of woman.”

Masuzu took her phone out of her pocket.

She showed Hime her “乙” phonestrap to Hime, who was still sitting on the floor.

“This is what you said, Akishino-san. We are partners, partners who like Eita-kun, we are all friends, is it this way?”

I pondered about Masuzu’s words.

Partners who like me are friends? What was that?

Hime said this kind of things before? Was it when I’m not there?

Hime stared at the “乙” phonestrap, biting her lips in silence, looking like she is holding back her rage. Finally, her facial expression disappeared.

The heat went down—this maybe is the way to describe it. Even though she went back to her usual expressionless face, her eyes are still red.

“……mission understood, back to usual mode.”

“Huh?” I exclaimed.

“Now this is Himeka Sai Heavensrain.”

Masuzu was only helping Hime with her words…..her expression looks to me like she’s enduring pain.

……what is this.

What are they doing? This tensed atmosphere.

I think raging is better than this. Hime questioning, Masuzu retorting, and other students and teachers running and turning this into a battlefield would be better.

But, the reality is:

“Here, hold me.”

Masuzu extended her hand towards Hime who wanted to stand up.

“Thank you, Prez.”

Hime said unnaturally.

“Let’s go back to the club room, Harusaki-san and Fuyuumi-san must be worried.”

“Please hold on for a while, I’ve something to do.”

“Something?”

Hime walked the opposite direction from the club room, there was the toilet, she originally intended to use the toilet when she walked out of the club room, and unintentionally overheard us.

Masuzu confirmed that Hime disappeared at the corner—and hugged me suddenly

“NUWAAAAN WHAT SHOULD WE DOOOOOOOOOOO!”

She rested her head on my chest with teary eyes, completely devastated. Also can the school’s most beautiful girl not say something like “Nuwaaaaa”.

“What should we do, what should we do Eita-kun? AAAAAAHHH”

“Hey, calm down.”

“It’s outtttt! Everything is outttttt! Aaaa, Akishino-san, who will she tell? Maybe she will talk it over with her master Fuyuumi-san? Her relationship with Mana recently quite good right? Will she tell Harusaki-san too? Nooo, no, no, no, no, no, if Harusaki Chiwa knows this everything will be over!”

“Calm, down!”

I gripped Masuzu’s shoulder, and look at her face with my forehead against her.

“You saw how Hime acted right? It looks as if she won’t tell anybody soon right? Hime is not someone who will just give other people’s secrets away.

“……really?”

Masuzu tilted her head slightly while sulking a little. I cannot let myself be fooled by this cute move.

“Speaking of that, what is with your way of covering this up? Wasn’t it a bit too much?”

“Hmph! So what?

Masuzu covered her face slightly with her left hand, and raised er right shoulder, and said with her usual pose, “I—am someone who would do anything to be your girlfriend!”

“……uoo”

Although I accidentally made an embarrassed look, but I’m not happy at all……

“I do know that I’m a bitch.”

Masuzu’s voice suddenly dropped, and wiped her tears with her fingertips.

“Using Akishino-san’s imagination to cover my lies, to be honest this is the worst. I myself know that too. But I don’t want it to be like this! I don’t want to ruin my relationship(fake) with you due to an accident like this!”

“I told you to calm down……”

You get jumped so easily because of the guilt you feel towards Hime. Pretending to be cold and talking such lies without hesitation, and hurting yourself in the process, it makes people speechless.

“Anyways, you should return to the clubroom first.”

I patted Masuzu on the back, and tried my best to said with a calm tone.

“We cannot stay here anymore, who knows if the cultural society members show up. If we are seen like that, then this will really be over for us.”

Masuzu looked like she was a child who received orders to stay at home and guard it.

“How about you, Eita-kun? Where will you go?”

“Toilet.”

“Going with Akishino-san? Dirty!”

“It’s the men’s toilet!”

I originally wanted to go to the toilet, it’s Masuzu who chased after me, so this is not a lie.

Masuzu left while looking back a lot, after she disappeared from sight, I went to the men’s toilet. Finished my business quickly, I immediately returned to the clubroom—

—someone has not return.

I waited outside the ladies’ toilet while looking out for other students nervously, but I have to wait.

Fortunately, I only waited a few minutes for her. That’s great, looks like I didn’t miss her, and I quickly scanned to see for other students.

“Ei…ta……?”

A red-eyed Hime stood there dumbfounded.

“Hime, I lied to you for so long, I’m really sorry!”

On behalf of me and my “girlfriend” who can’t be honest, I bowed deeply in apology.

Hime rubbed her eyes nervously.

“Why is Eita apologizing?”

“Because Masuzu was confessed to by so many guys, she wanted to find a fake boyfriend to stop this problem, and I’m the accomplice, so I’m also to blame.”

“I don’t understand what’s Eita trying to say.”

Hime blinked a few times, then said with her usual calmed look.

“Natsukawa-kaichou is Eita’s girlfriend in this world; and I’m—Eita’s girlfriend in his previous life(ex-girlfriend). Contacting Eita who has not fully recovered his past memories, completely awakening him, and battling the Wyverns is my mission.”

“Hey, Hime, listen to me, just now what Masuzu said is—“

“It’s not like this!”

She was so loud it startled me.

She lowered her head, her fringe covering her expression, and her small shoulders were shivering.

“I’m Burning Pudding Princess, Himeka Sai Heavensrain. Created through the Hyperdimensional Thought Entity, the Earthnoid Bio Matrix Earthnoid Device.”

“You said Earthnoid twice.”

“Earthnoid! Bio! Matrix! Device!”

This is bad, shee’s serious, the “Villager A” setting is also gone.

Like me fearing ruining the fake relationship with Masuzu, Hime looks like she’s also afraid of something.

Afraid that the atmosphere of the “Jien-otsu” will be ruined? Or afraid that her chuunibyou imagination will be ruined? Or both?

“…..I understand.”

I nodded while patting her head.

“I’m sorry, Hime.”

“You have no reason to apologize.”

Hime said softly, still avoiding eye contact with me.

Although just a bit, she closed her eyes looking comfortable. This is salvation for me already.

♦

Although I went back to the clubroom with Hime, there wasn’t any club activity that day.

Originally we wanted to discuss the performance for the school festival, but the president Masuzu wasn’t paying attention, the discussion couldn’t be held. In the middle Fuyuumi left for her hall monitor activities, Chiwa’s friend also phoned her, so we ended without deciding on anything.

“There are still two months to the school festival, we don’t need to rush, let’s do it slowly.”

Masuzu said this after the school bell rang—but can we attend the school festival in this condition?

On the surface the Jien-otsu is the same as the first semester and the summer holidays, but the amount of landmine increased. Hime discovering our lie is the largest mine, and when it explodes, it will start a chain reaction with the remaining hidden mines, completely burning down my high school life.

I had no choice but to be more wary than usual, continuing my relationship with Masuzu carefully. While hating love from the bottom of my heart, I have to continue to fake a relationship with this similarly anti-love woman.

But—I also find myself thinking, will Hime expose this to everybody, and trigger all the landmines altogether? Because I don’t have the courage to do this, if I can get Hime to do this it would be much easier.

This way, I don’t need to lie to anyone anymore.

To Kaoru, Fuyuumi, or Saeko-san.

And also—to Chiwa.

“What happened, Ei-kun? Is something on my face?

Chiwa, who was locking the windows, titled her head and smiled.

“……oh, the chips you ate just now is sticked to your face.”

“Huh? How?”

While looking at Chiwa wiping her mouth embarrassingly, I’m thinking of something so lowly.

I find myself tired of lying.

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