Talk:Tsukumodo:Volume 1 Statue

Do you intentionally use formal or archaic speech? Like "please be not stained with my blood" and "dwelling"...

Yeah, although I failed badly. :D Keep in mind that it takes place a few hundred years ago.

• well... Saki and company obviously live NOT a few hundred years ago.

If you find something that sounds archaic in Saki's parts, feel free to change it. But the sentence up there isn't. ;)

Why are there alot of (brackets)? I kinda feel it would be better without them...

They mark thoughts, so yeah... Could also use cursive text or something like that.

• okay. brackets are fine...

i didn't change the following lines:

From time to time the villagers could get their hands on some little medicine in exchange for a bed and a breakfast, but by far not enough to suffice for everyone.

(on a little medicine. Or by "little" you mean medicine for minor illnesses? in which case i'd use some other word instead of

little.)

Point taken. It's the former.

No doubt too deep for me, but it was some kind of automaton clock by all appearances.

(too complicated/complex)

It was some kind of automaton clock, although I didn't quite get its purpose. ?

• sounds good.

These thoughts crossed my mind, while the dog kept removing itself from the pot step by step, revealing more of the head-like root.

(moving away from)

Agreed

"Ah. Mandrake it was."

(it was mandrake)

Mh... sounds a bit odd to my ear.

• okay, then we leave it as it was.

Wasn't there some tale or legend where dogs got used to pull up some kind of plant?

(pull out)

Pull up should be okay, since I copied most of that sentence from Wikipedia. :D

• okay, but "got used to" is easily mistaken for a phrase that means that pulling out the roots is not new to them. "were used" is better.

Point taken

"Heck, that's no alarmer anymore,

(alarm clock. i didn't find alarmer in the dictionary...)

True, it was in my dictionary, but looks like it's not widely used.

Within the rising temperature, I heard the sound of wood splitting.

(As the temperture was rising, I heard the sound of wood splitting.)

Agreed

Please be not stained with my blood.

(don't be)

Whichever sounds older

• "be not" is older...

I was not the only one who wanted to live together with Juan-sama, but he always rejected.

(rejected everyone else)

Agreed

Each morning I polished it with a towel wetted in cold winter water.

(soaked?)

I don't mind either way, but I believe wet would also work?

• wetted technicly works. i just think "soaked" sounds better.

Okay, let's go with soaked then

One reason was of course my attitude, but it was much more because my hands were already numb and their skin as hard as stone.

(but it was mostly because)

Agreed

I was comfortable the way it was.

(with the way it was)

Agreed

Only at these times, I wished that I'd had still feeling in them.

(i'd still had)

Agreed

He cherished the statue and never failed to perform his office.

(sounds kinda formal...)

Again, if it sounds old and stiff, then it has achieved its purpose. If it only sounds odd or like manager-speech -> eradication

• i dunno when the word office originated, but ppl will have associations with present time, imho. "and healed the people without fail". how's that? eradication sounds a bit technical...

Works for me. And eradication was a joke :P

--Idiffer 05:19, 6 May 2012 (CDT)