Talk:Date A Live:Volume 2 Chapter 4

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Revision as of 07:42, 12 November 2012 by Chancs (talk | contribs)
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Part1 edits

  • Shidou lightly raised his hand to give a greeting—and froze, just like that. He dropped the bag filled with pastries that was being carried in his left hand, *Splat*, it was the sound as if a staff was now unable to enjoy eating the delicious cake.

The bit in bold is a pretty random line to appear. *splat* is a sound sfx that has nothing to do with the sound of a staff of well..anything. What were you aiming to say with that line?

  • When Shidou asked her, Origami as if she is taking supplements continued adding on.

"as if she is taking supplements" to me is a another way of saying she "was taking drugs" while talking to Shidou which probably wasn't what you were trying to say at all. --Drowzycow (talk) 19:43, 11 November 2012 (CST)

i changed the supplements part to complement, but for the Staff thingy i think its an example of some sort that he created.--RikiNutcase (talk) 20:06, 11 November 2012 (CST)

Erm..then best way to fit it in would be to separate the text so:

Shidou lightly raised his hand to give a greeting—and froze, just like that. He dropped the bag filled with pastries that was being carried in his left hand.
*splat*
In his mind he could see the staff at the bakery groaning as their delicious pastries weren't enjoyed to their fullest / as their delicious pastries were wasted.

Something like that? --Drowzycow (talk) 20:20, 11 November 2012 (CST)

it literally meant "the sound of a staff being unable to eat his delicious cake" somehow like....imagine a hard working father coming home from work...and all he has is a cake to lighten up his day but.........an accident happen..........and the cake falls....something like that.--RikiNutcase (talk) 20:37, 11 November 2012 (CST)

  • Shidou lightly raised his hand to give a greeting--and froze. *spalt* He dropped the bag filled with pastries that he carried in his left hand. The silence that followed was as if the staff was now unable to enjoy a delicious cake.

Yes, a new debate Chancs (talk) 23:42, 11 November 2012 (CST)

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