Talk:Tasogare-iro no Uta Tsukai:Volume1 Final Play

Mistake! Mistake! Don't look yet! I am still fixing the stylings and adding furigana and whatnot! Sorry! (I hit Alt+S by mistake) Catahn (talk) 19:05, 3 December 2012 (CST)

Ok now (Except for the last page and a half) part 1 is up. I screwed up and emailed myself an older copy of the jce file so I don't have the translations for the last page and a half. And I don't feel like re-translating them again. So it'll be up in a couple of hours. Catahn (talk) 19:55, 3 December 2012 (CST)

Thanks for the translation. Its very rough in places, but a good editor should be able to fix things up. --Bilagaana (talk) 12:10, 4 December 2012 (CST)

Feel free to mention which places are rough. I like feedback and need it to improve. Believe me, you cannot possibly hurt my feelings so the more feedback the better. Suggestions also help me improve so feel free to suggest alternative ways of saying things. Catahn (talk) 12:37, 4 December 2012 (CST)

The whole first section just feels disjointed and rough to me. Can't really comment because I'm bad at English, even though I'm a native speaker. Anyways, will see if I can come up with something:

One-B。Take Refuge in our Classroom and hold your breath, then Serges come over and stealthily whisper in my ear.

I can't find any chimera. Open the closed curtains just a little bit. She was peaking out from over there.

That first sentence almost seems like a run-on. The part about Serges looking outside, think it might be better phrased as: She was peaking out from the slightly open curtains. Or something like that. Also quite a few tense errors, is it supposed to be in past or present tense? --Bilagaana (talk) 15:19, 4 December 2012 (CST)