HanTsuki:Volume 1 Chapter 2

1

Rika was a beautiful girl. Her long hair was so straight and lustrous it could be used in shampoo commercials. Her skin was so white as if it came from the country of snow; it was so fine, smooth, and dazzling. The white and black formed so strong a comparison that captivated anyone around her. Even her organs were so fine and well-shaped one would think it was definitely unfair for someone to have such beauty. She was like a Japanese doll, delicate, gentle, and beautiful. But—But! There was a saying that stated our God is fair: there would always be both sides to a coin—though I wouldn’t know if this was a sound explanation for her. Anyway, Rika’s personality was poor and scary. She was so self-centred and capricious, and she didn’t pay any heed to what others said. If something might go against her will, she would cry, growl, and even say something rude or even take it physically. There was only one girl I knew in the world that there would be such huge disparity in her personality and appearance.

“I’m back,” I said with a weary voice, opening the door of the ward.

Laying on the bed, Rika seemed unhappy.

“Why are you so late?” asked she.

On a side note, I went to the public library today for an errand and had just come back. It was deadly cold this morning, and the anchor for the weather forecast asserted as if he made a huge achievement, “Today is the coldest today of this year!” He looked very proud of himself, and there were some snowman dancing around with scarfs for no special reason. In fact, it was so cold I couldn’t bear it. The wind was fierce, striking in my blood and bones the coldness and chilliness. Deep, grey clouds covered the sky. I wore an excessively heavy, thick coat, a scarf, gloves, and journeyed my long road to the public library while holding my defence against the strong wind. Even the tips of my fingers were numb, and my face felt a bit pain, as if it was damaged in the cold weather. In short, I went through a lot of pain this morning. These errands could really stress people out. But at the end, all I got was only a “Why are you so late?” response. I really didn’t get how women think. Rika was so capricious, like she was a queen or something.

“Have you found the book?”

“Yeah.”

I handed the book to her from my pocket. The book was as large as my palm, the cover with adorable rabbits. Lying on her bed, Rika took the book directly.

“What is this?”

Her face slumped instantly, her elegant eyebrows rising at the same time.

I said nervously, “This is the book you asked me to find...Peter Rabbit...”

“This is in fact one of the books in the Peter Rabbit series, but I wanted you to borrow another one.”

“I-Is that so?”

“I want to read the The Tale of Flopsy Bunnies!”

Rika’s voice become more and more stern.

“What you borrow is apparently The Scary and Horrifying Rabbits!”

“But didn’t you say this one would also be fine?”

Rika’s order had many complicated requirements. She asked me to borrow this one, but that one if I couldn’t, and then I would have to borrow another one if I couldn’t borrow this one...these orders were too complicated for me, so I even wrote her orders word by word on a sheet of paper and brought it out with me.

“How did you listen to my orders? That one was the one I said to never borrow!”

“I-Is that so?”

I frantically flipped open my jacket pocket, but I couldn’t find that sheet of paper. Was it on the right side? No. It wasn’t. How about the left side? Perhaps it was in the pocket of my pants. I had gone through almost every pocket in the clothes I was wearing, yet I couldn’t find the sheet of paper. Had I lost it? My, this is too terrible. If I were to tell her this, I would definitely get reprimanded. I lowered my head with a wan face.

“Ah...”

There it was. A crumpled piece of paper fell to my feet’s side. I kneeled down to pick it up. Hahaha. There it was. As I showed a delightful smile, I unfolded the piece of paper. My messy writing was dancing around on that crumpled piece of paper. As what Rika said, I had put an X mark beside The Scary and Horrifying Rabbits. I must have forgotten about the mark when I was picking the book.

“Ha-haha. My, my. Why would I have forgotten the mark?”

I tried to alleviate the tension and squeeze a smile, but it didn’t work out. Rika’s anger was as its verge of explosion.

“You idiot! Can’t you do such simple things? How old are you? You’re not a child anymore!”

Sigh. I had to be scolded anyhow.

“But I’m still seventeen, who could be counted as a child.”

My grotesque protest was instantly frozen under Rika’s gaze.

“S-Sorry,” I scratched my head while apologising.

It was only three days since we first encountered, yet I couldn’t say a thing against this woman already. Once I hear Rika’s orders, I would have to listen to her and obey to her orders. Once she throws a tantrum, I would have to apologise immediately without another word. Even if it wasn’t my fault, I would always lower my head in apology. I had already become her little subordinate. Certainly it was because of the deep, negative effects of our first encounter. I had utterly succumbed to her.

Rika briskly said, “Please borrow the correct book this time.”

“Ah?”

“Again. Please borrow the book I’ve said.”

“Now? I’m just back!”

It was terrible. I was, at the least note, a patient living in the hospital—a patient that would decline visitors a month ago. Even though I was allowed to go out now, I couldn’t really get out and run around like this. This wouldn’t be good for my body. Rest was essential for my sickness to be cured. Nevertheless, Rika just briskly said, “The one who made the mistake is you.”

“It’s very cold today. Besides, if I go out now, the sun would have already set when I come back...”

“What about that then?”

“...”

“I’m asking you: what about that then?”

Rika stared directly at me. The colour of her eyes were so rich and appalling. Looking at those eyes, I would sometimes discover a pool of black water was now incessantly rolling about. Then I would feel if my body was engulfed in those of eyes of Rika’s. After that episode, whenever I was alone, there would be this strange acidulous feeling rushing into my chest. Now, Rika still stares at me with those eyes.

“I know. I’ll gow now.”

“If you don’t hurry up, the doors of the library will be closed.”

“I will hurry up a bit and borrow the book.”

With that said, I got out of the ward.

2

It was too cold outside. Perhaps it was because of the sun’s departure to the west, the temperature seemed to have dropped down a bit. The wind blowing onto me felt even colder than before. The east side of the sky was also gradually dimming.

“I’m completely devastated by her,” said I, puffing out a breath, which was instantly frozen into white matter. I coiled my scarf around my neck for several times, zipped up my jacket, and started my journey. My whole self felt heavy, perhaps my body condition was bit poor. The next check-up was scheduled a week later, maybe the results would turn out worse. Rika’s eyes appeared in my head. Why would Rika show such eyes?

3

As a result, I didn’t come in time for dinner, so I hadn’t have any dinner that night. As I held my hungry and empty stomach, I walked into Rika’s ward. The room was pitch black, with a bit of light scattered in through the windows, faintly outlining the contours of a girl. Rika was sitting on her bed, gazing beyond the windows.

“Why don’t you turn on the lights? What’s the matter?” asked I.

She gave no response.

“I’ve borrowed the book for you. It’s the right book this time.”

She still gave no response. I approached the edge of the bed and placed the book on the bed. Afterwards, I sat on the fold chair beside the bed. Rika wasn’t moving an inch. She kept silent and didn’t turn around to face me. I could clearly hear the small television sounds from the adjacent ward, and some other conversational sounds of passerbys walking through the wards. There were also different kinds of sounds, including the squeaking sounds of medical carts being pushed along, or the banging sounds of something falling to he floor. Perhaps it was because of my contraction with warm air that my mind had become a bit dazed off, as if I was floating in a dream. With that dizzy head, I took off my scarf and gloves, and blew some warm air onto my hands. My tips of my fingers were so numb by the bold that they couldn’t feel the warmth. At this moment, time was slowly flying away. Rika was still gazing beyond the windows. To be correct, she was still gazing at the Dragon Head Mountain—the Fort Mountain. She seemed completely ignorant of my presence. Of course, she knew I was here, but she didn’t make a sound. Long accustomed to this, I only gazed blankly at the direction she was gazing. This would happen about once every day. Rika would suddenly fall silent without any omen. Should this happen, it was useless for me to say anything. Even if I were to talk to her, she would pay no heed even if she heard me. She would, at most, make some sounds to skimp me, which was the best I could hope for. She had a distance from me usually, but when this happened, it felt that she was even farther away from me—so far that even if I stretched my hands I couldn’t touch her. So, I could only resort to silence. I could only bear silence. Then, I might try to imagine what she would be thinking now and then. What is she thinking? Why is she staring at the Fort Mountain? Does she want to climb that mountain? As I thought of these, I repeatedly blew on my hands; my hands could gradually feel the warmth now. Although these doubts in my heart could be directly sent to Rika for an answer, I hadn’t ever thought of this, as I wouldn’t get a response anyway. If I had to feel the sensation of words disappearing in the atmosphere after being said, let me just bear silence and keep it in my heart. Without any other resort, I just looked at Rika’s back like an idiot. She had a slim and tender body. It was because she was sitting on her bed that I could just see her upper body, but that, including her shoulders to her waist, was enough to be described as perfect. The curve of her body was extremely elegant. Merely looking at it would accelerate one’s heartbeat. By the way, humans are such fascinating creatures. Why would just a curve be so charming to one? For example, the curve of a flower vase would be elegant, but why wouldn’t it accelerate one’s heartbeat? Nevertheless, Rika was bit too thin. The slimness of her body had a sorrowful remark. I suddenly remembered Akiko’s words, “She’s doing fine.” I didn’t know what illness Rika had. Akiko didn’t tell me, and I didn’t find it comfortable to ask Rika. How could I? I mean—how could I just ask her such a question. Besides, to be honest, I was afraid of the answer. So, until then, I was totally ignorant of it.

Grumble...

This sound suddenly reminded me—it was my stomach’s growling sound. Even though my body had fallen into deep contemplation of different matters, my body was very loyal to its physiological status. My stomach would growl naturally when it was hungry.

Rika turned to me.

“I-I’m sorry,” I apologised without thinking.

What a hell of a shit I was. Rika’s expression was unclear in the dim room. Perhaps she was gasping. Although it was too inconceivable for one to throw a tantrum for a growling stomach, the reason why I didn’t have my dinner was all Rika’s fault, but it was hard to convince her sometimes even with reasons. I stood gingerly, as I thought she would throw a tantrum at me again.

“Um. Please take this for dinner.”

Yet, this was what I heard.

“Ah?”

I couldn’t make up what she was saying, as I was too astonished.

“Eat it.”

Rika pointed at the shelf beside the door. On the shelf was a tray containing the dinner set the hospital provided. Rice, other food, and soup was all placed there neatly. Surprised, I asked, “How did you get this?”

“It’s your dinner. I’ve brought it here.”

“Did you help me to take my dinner?”

She nodded. Every evening, the staff responsible for the food would send the food for every patient to their respective wards. And my dinner should be sent to my ward, which would be taken away after a specified time whether I had eaten it or not. And at this time, it should have been long taken away, yet Rika went to my ward specially to take away my dinner, lest it be taken away. I was way too astonished. I couldn’t even dream that such a capricious woman would do such a favour for me. When I was still gasping in awe...

“Aren’t you going to eat it?” asked Rika, “if you aren’t, then it’s better to throw it away.”

“Ah. No. I’m going to eat it! I’m eating it now!”

“You can use this to help you eat it,” said Rika as she moved her body to open the table beside her bed.

“You can also turn on the lights.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

I turned on the lights and transferred the tray onto the table.

Having seated on the chair, I quickly picked up the chopsticks. The rice, the other food, and the soup had already turned cold, but because it was my hunger that the food was extremely delicious. I devoured them in big mouthfuls. No, perhaps there were other reasons that made this meal delicious. Seeing me devouring the food, Rika smiled in delight.

“Yuichi looks like a dog.”

This line may seem like disdaining someone in some circumstances, but this strangely gave me the otherwise. I lifted my head carefully to see Rikas delightful smile—her smile that was as beautiful as those of angels. Wouldn’t it be great if she could smile like this forever...I thought while I devoured the food.

“What’s the matter?” asked Rika with her head cocked, sensing the direction of my eyes.

I replied hastily, “This is delicious.”

“How would anyone think food provided by the hospital is delicious? Yuichi is acting strange.”

“I’m not. This food is splendid.”

“All right. Then please eat more.”

Like pacifying a dog, Rika lightly stroked my head. Of course, this wouldn’t disgust me. Rika’s light touch sliding across my hair along with her smile elated me. I deliberately shoved my face into the bowl, lest my thoughts would be unveiled.

As I returned to my ward, I met Tada.

“Have you gone somewhere again?” Tada said, opening his mouth devoid of teeth, smiling, “is it a girlfriend?” He raised his little finger. How do I put it? Tada was a real old guy as well as a perverted one. These senses had already become his ‘initial settings’.

“Hahaha” I tried to skimp him by smirking, “I was finding my friend.”

She was my friend instead of my girlfriend.

“Sigh, why’s that? Shouldn’t vigour be the greatest at your age? Let me tell you: you need to be more active and strike when possible.”

Tada had an awkward accent. It was alleged that his messy tone came from him going through different places in the country. Albeit this hearsay, most of the words spoken by Tada was exaggerated, so I couldn’t tell how much of the hearsay was true. I had also heard that he had a trip to Hokkaido, but then he strangely said Hiroshima was in Hokkaido; when I corrected him by saying that Hiroshima was situated at Chugoku in the west side of Honshu, he still stood strong in his fallacious argument that there had been a time when that happened. What a stubborn old man.

“Hahaha,” I skimped him by smirking again.

Afterwards, he stretched his hand to me.

“Take this and eat it.”

After Tada stretched his hand, three amber-coloured round objects appeared on my palm. They were the memorable old sugar balls. The three sweet ambers glittered with beautiful radiance.

“Thanks,” said I, nodding.

Having returned to my ward, I popped one of them into my mouth. I was caught by the extreme sweetness of the ball when it touched my taste buds, which then was quickly spitted out of my mouth, hitting on the floor and rolling on the floor forlornly. How could I eat something like this?

“This candy is too sweet.”

What should I do? I looked at the two left sugar balls, unknowing of how to deal with them. Tsukasa’s room was situated at the first floor and facing the road. Nowhere could be more dangerous than here. Anyone could throw a rock, shatter the glasses, and slip in. Notwithstanding, it was great for some visitors like me since I could slip in the room at night through the windows without making a noise and interrupting others. Or to put it in another way, I could freely enter or leave the room anytime I wanted.

“Hey.”

After the lock—the bench—was unlocked, I immediately paid a visit to Tsukasa’s room. The moment I opened the windows, a twenty-five inch man’s face entered my eyes. That guy was wearing a lantern sleeve, the curve of his waist almost the same as a woman. His hand was holding a rapidly spinning foam generator. A sharp sound came from the speakers of the television: “Here comes the main point, yo!” What did ‘yo’ mean? What was this ‘yo’ shit? Pretending to heave a large sigh, I entered, saying, “My friend, don’t you think there is a problem with a boy watching the playback of Hirose Yoshikazu‘s Happy Kitchen with such a serious attitude?”

“Does it matter?” said Tsukasa sternly.

Sekoguchi Tsukasa was a bit of a weird guy. Let me first tell you that he was an astronomy fan, so he would always put in his pockets scientific calculators used for working out orbits. Anyway, let us leave this alone since this was common. What I am going to tell you now is his features: his height and weight are 187cm and 92 kilograms respectively. Anyway, let us leave this alone since this was common too. Perhaps this was because of his usual serious practice that made muscles as strong as steel to cover his whole body. Anyway, this was perhaps common too. The problem comes down to this: his interest was making deserts. Frequently after school, he would hold small measuring spoons in his huge hands and make deserts with female students in the home education room. And the most puzzling thing was that the deserts he made were better than any other deserts made by female students, so delicious that even the girls gave him the venerable nickname ‘Sekoguchi Master’, and often threw letters of admiration into his shoe cabinet in school. This was what I couldn’t understand.

“You haven’t been around for some time. What’s the matter?” asked Tsukasa, looking at Hirose Yoshikazu dancing around crazily on the television—at least this what I thought, though it seemed he was cooking.

Originally, I wanted to explain why everything ended up like this, but then I gave up in doing so, as Tsukasa was totally immersed in the television.

“There’s a lot that happened. Let’s talk about that later since you’re so busy.”

It was just a waste of energy to tell Tsukasa anything at the moment.

“Is that so? I’m sorry,” said Tsukasa, seemingly uninterested to what I was saying, “Hey! Did you see that? That’s the god’s foam!”

What a weirdo. What the heck was that ‘god’s foam’? I had thought he was joking, but without further examination, I found him serious and stern. He was putting all his focus on a big notebook—normal notebooks on Tsukasa’s hands look like booklets—and jotting down some notes. Finally, Hirose Yoshikazu jumped up to mid-air and spun around. While he was spinning in the air, his hands danced around and his feet relaxed into a bending state. At this moment, special effects occurred on the screen: butterflies and stars flew around the sky, and light was shone to all corners.

“Fascinating illusion!” cried Hirose Yoshikazu as he landed. Afterwards, a pure, white cake appeared on the screen. It was indeed a fine, delicious cake, but a cake was merely a cake. What did that cake have to do with any fascinating illusions? Or perhaps, this essentially was a ‘fascinating illusion’. With these questions in my mind, I looked at Tsukasa. Stars shone in his eyes. His mouth was half-wide, his eyes locked onto the television firmly. Along with that, he kept on murmuring, “This is spectacular...”

I heaved a deep sigh, a sigh deep down from my heart: if only this guy didn’t have this hobby, he would have been perfect. The show ended at last after some time. Tsukasa stared at the sandstorm-like flashing screen absent-mindedly. He seemed to be still enjoying the aftertaste. Getting impatient, I called for him, “Hey, Tsukasa.”

“Y-Yes,” replied Tsukasa, confused, coming back to his senses.

He had really lost his senses back there.

“Are you okay?” asked I, having a hidden meaning within my words. I didn’t know did he get it, as his response was only a simple nod.

“Of course. Hey, did you just see Hirose’s special move?”

It looked like he didn’t get it.

“I saw it, but I have no idea of what he’s doing.”

“Tsk!” said Tsukasa, displeased. He then stood up, took off the jacket hung on the wall, and stretched his hands into its sleeves.

“Hey. Where are you going?”

“Sorry. Some relatives came and lived here. They are very annoying, so it wouldn’t be a good idea to disturb their sleep. Let’s head outside.”

“Outside? Have you thought of where to go?”

It was already midnight. There were few and far between shops that still run at this time in this suburban areas.

“Yes. I have a senior working at a Karaoke shop. We can probably enter without being charged.”

“Karaoke, uh?”

I was tone-deaf. It wasn’t any exaggeration. I would even have a discrepancy of half a note in theme songs of children shows.

“We don’t necessarily have to sing,” complemented Tsukasa, probably putting what I have mind in consideration.

Though his face and body looked thick and rigid, he was a gentle and kind man. When he was cooking, the true essence of his personality would shine.

I said, half-jokingly, “Okay. Let me sing the theme song of ‘Prince Mackaroo’ then.”

“D-Do you really have to sing?” Tsukasa showed a sign of apparent disgust.

This guy didn’t simply said that for me but also as a preventive measure of escaping my singing voice...

4

Tsukasa and I weren’t yet friends half a year ago. Back then, we didn’t have anything in common; we were simply classmates. It was because of that guy’s eccentricity that made him difficult to approach, hence a legend at school. At normal circumstances, I would have never thought of becoming friends with him. We hadn’t spoken to a word to each other back then. It was that rain that bridged the gap between us. It was the drizzling rain that would never cease during the spring season. I was returning home from cram school on that day. In the individual conversation with the tutor for furthering my studies, all of the schools I want to go to were marked by a ‘D’, shocking me at the spot. The teacher of the cram school had his face crumpled.

“Looks like you need to lower your standard of the schools you want to go to,” he said, seemingly impatient. Though he had a formal tone, it was written all on his face that I needed to rewrite all of my standards before finding him. As such, I was drenched in melancholy, as mum, if seen my grades, would definitely say, “It’ll be fine if you study in local universities.” Even when I further my studies, my mum still wished for me to stay in this town, although she always said, “Anything you prefer will be fine,” every time my will for schools was mentioned, she would recommend local schools. If I had to get out of here, I must get grades at least up to standard. Getting a ‘D’ was the worst I could get.

“What could I do?” murmured I, gazing upon the drizzle of rain falling from the sky.

“It’s all my stupidity that led me into this.”

Rain poured incessantly, my mood dejected to the worst point. After that, I passed through the old station, which still had the lookout for fire strangely, and the track into the shortcut to my home—“Seko”. Seko was a dialect that meant a short path. It was alleged that it was a saying that started long ago and had passed till now. There were a lot of people like Tsukasa who had this word as their names. In some places, there would be around three students in a class called Sekokuchi. The first girl I loved—which was back when I was at primary school grade three—had the surname Sekoguchi. These cases would only happen in towns with such a long history. The history memories in my mind would sometimes appear in the roads I walked in, for example: wooden houses that were common and special here. The openings of these houses were very narrow, yet the endings would extend to a far distance. They would probably be described commonly as eel houses. It was alleged that this style was also called Tsumairi houses (妻入町屋). I walked to this house, my head lowered. Afterwards, I went through a corner, and a large body appeared before me. Looking at the distinctive face and body, I immediately knew he was Sekoguchi Tsukasa. But why was he kneeling along the road in this rain? I went over to him and threw some glances, happening to find there were two kittens purring beside Tsukasa’s feet. They looked like abandoned, stray cats. I knew what was happening right at that instant. To put it simply, a big guy found some kittens abandoned near his house, and so he took an umbrella and covered them. And so, now he was idling around, unknowing of what to do next. Kittens like these would die soon. It was preposterous for one to think that these abandoned kittens would be taken away by strangers. Abandoning them was equivalent to murdering them. When I was in middle school, there were some kittens abandoned at school. These kittens were so adorable that a lot of people would feed them. These kittens seemed to live with vigour and life. I would always stroke the soft fur on their backs, and they would make purring sounds from their throats, which was truly adorable. Merely looking at the sight of them sleeping lazily under the sun would incur a sense of happiness deep down in my heart. Nevertheless, these kittens were gone after the holidays. I couldn’t imagine who picked them away. Though it felt a bit lonely for them to be gone, whenever I imagine they could at last eat something delightful in someone’s house, I would reckon them having a wonderful life. You have to eat more and grow up, I would sometimes think. The unpalatable truth wasn’t what I thought though. Not long after, I heard from the girls along the corridor news I didn’t want to hear: “Hey, I heard that those kittens were dead.” “Eh~~ Really?” “It seemed that after the holidays, our janitor saw them in a corner of a bicycle parking lot, their bodies shrinking into a clump. He thought they were alive and tried to feed them, only to see that they didn’t move an inch. Feeling strange, he stretched out his hands to touch them, finding their bodies already become cold and icy.” “What happened then? Were they buried?” “No. I heard they were thrown to the burnable trash.” “What? That’s gross! Bother!” You’re the one that are gross, you idiot! I reprimanded them scornfully in my heart, though the girls were right. Then, I become dejected: how is she an idiot? Do I qualify to speak those kinds of words? Have I considered the fact that those kittens couldn’t endure? What have I done? Did I ever think of doing anything? The kittens were feed nothing during the holidays. Besides, heavy rain poured at those times. Kittens could have never endured through the time. Every time when I think of the kittens—their soft fur and the warmth within—my heart would grieve, drenching me into melancholy. With this melancholy, I still walked gingerly around Tsukasa’s back. After all, there was nothing I could help. Besides, I was afraid of going through the same grief might I join. The softness and warmth of the kittens that were dead in the bicycle parking lot induced the acceleration of my footsteps naturally. Wherever I went, the sound of rain followed me. Every time I remembered Tsukasa’s back, I would quickly try to cast it away from my mind. Having gone back home, time flew as I did my usual stuff: eat, watch the television, and read manga—it was yet another usual and boring day. But, I heard my mother’s call at around ten at night: “Yuichi, your friend is here for you.”

Who would come to find me at this time? I walked to the gates with this question in my mind, surprised to find Sekoguchi Tsukasa standing here. He was drenched from head to toe, his chest holding kittens wrapped in towels. “U-Um...I’m sorry for coming to find you all of a sudden,” said Tsukasa, timidly, “could you take care of the cats?”

I was speechless. Tsukasa and I were classmates, but we weren’t close to each other. Why would he find me? Perhaps he saw me when I passed him, I guess, getting perturbed suddenly. I asked, fidgeting, “Why would you come to my...” House—I wanted to say, which I stopped when I saw a piece of paper buried in Tsukasa’s chest. Like his clothes and body, the paper was soaked in rain, and the contents were therefore exposed: “Contact List of the Class”—this was what I could vaguely see. In other words, Tsukasa had went through each and every house of his classmates to see if anyone could take up the cats for him. ‘’What an idiot’’, I thought. ‘’What is he thinking?’’