OreShura: Volume 3 Chapter 2

Chapter 1 The Mayhem is in a Café with my Girlfriend

This happened at the end of the second day of summer cram school, after I ate dinner with Chiwa, as I was in my room preparing for the next day’s class.

The curses text message ringtone rang again, and I received a text message from that girl.

[Subject] Untitled 

[Text] I have your daughter here. 

If you want her back, you must come alone tonight at eight o’clock to the coffee shop in front of the station.

Really, this girl was so troublesome.

I turned the page of my mathematics textbook, while I typed a reply with one hand.

[Subject] Re: Untitled 

[Text] I have no daughter. 

If you want to kill her, cut her as you like.

After about ten seconds, the cursed music sounded again.

I had no choice but open the message—

[Subject] Untitled 

[Text] I have my daughter here. 

If you want her to go back, then do what I wrote above.

"I don’t know any daughter of yours!"

I said aloud, tsukkomi-ing at my text message.

That being said, you don’t have a daughter……

After all, why was her texting language to her boyfriend the same as how a kidnapper sends threatening letters?

There’s nothing I can do. I better reject her clearly.

[Subject] Re: Untitled 

[Text] I'm busy studying and reviewing my cram school notes. 

I am very sorry, but I’ll talk to you later.

A few minutes later, I received a rather longish text message.

[Subject] Untitled 

[Text] I understand. 

Please study hard.

I hope you do not become too distraught.

When you are tired, you can listen to the summer bugs cricketing outside.

You’ll definitely hear something like this.

♪ Biji biji biji~ 

♪ Heii heii heiii li li shii~ 

♪ shiie luoo shiee luooluoo ~ 

Then I immediately replied.

[Subject] Re: Untitled 

[Text] I will come see Masuzu-sama right away! 

♦

Based on the ｢coffee shop in front of the train station｣, there was actually two stores that met this criteria. But since it was Masuzu who specified this, it was possible to narrow down the stores to one—and that was the coffee chain-store right after the fork in the road. Although the taste and price weren’t worth mentioning compared to ordinary stores, it often seemed deserted because customers were frequently snatched away about neighboring restaurants. This seemed to be something Masuzu would like.

When I opened the door, I was surprised to find it actually quite crowded. Though as it was the summer, the store was filled with high school couples hanging out at night. The office worker who sat in the corner wearing a suit, seemed to be very pitiful, sipping coffee with a poor mood.

—At this time.

"Hey, Masuzu."

I said hello to my ｢girlfriend｣ who sat in the window seat. Even though this was such a crowded place, I could immediately find her thanks to her very conspicuous silver hair, blue eyes, and intense scent.

She really felt ｢superior｣ to everyone around her......

If I were a girl, I definitely, wouldn’t want to be around this girl.

But now that I thought about it, Chiwa and Hime were really amazing.

"You’re too slow, Eita."

Masuzu looked at me fiercely with a piercing gaze, and spoke in a displeased voice.

"From the time you replied my text, it took you eleven minutes, thirty-eight seconds point three nine to get here. What were you doing?"

Wow—

So detailed—

"What could I be doing? From my house to here, no matter how much I rushed, it would take at least ten minutes."

"Such a useless man. Can’t you be like Vanilla Ice and move through dark space?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not a stand user."

"Hmph, you really are a ｢useless man｣ then."

"Do you actually think that’s a good reference!"

Ever since the incident with Masuzu’s sister, we’ve been calling each other terrible names + equal address whenever we were alone.

She said: ｢As long as other people see us, we can act like lovers｣｢When the two of us are alone, we can treat each other coldly｣.

Anyways, she wasn’t a real girlfriend, so it didn’t matter if she gave me the cold shoulder…… but I always thought her poisonous tongue’s destructive power has greatly increased.

"Don’t stand there in a daze, sit down!"

"Aah, right."

The waiter brought ice water, and I ordered some coca cola. Then, I sat opposite of Masuzu.

"During the time I was waiting for you, I was hit on by love-struck people three times. So dirty. How do you intend to make it up to me?"

"Three times is less than usual. Anyway, should have just attacked them."

"Certainly! This is the same as preaching a new religion. One has to casually go along and force them to buy water and buy pots to bear."

"I don’t think you can sell them pots though......"

At this point, I realized the guests around us were staring at me. ｢Is that her boyfriend?｣ ｢He’s so plain｣. I heard these kinds of comments float over. Whenever I went on dates with Masuzu, this was always the case. There was one time when a middle school girl said, ｢so disappointing—!｣｢so depressing—!｣. After that, it took me a long time to restore my self-confidence!

"......Right, Masuzu. What did you want to talk about?"

"Oh?"

Masuzu smiled while tilting her head, and said:

"You forgot already? Eita. You still owe me a ｢favor｣."

"?"

Damn!

I always had a vague feeling that she was referring to that, but she actually did mean the incident at the infirmary?

"When you saw Akishino-san’s butt, were you really excited......?"

Masuzu’s frigid eyes pierced me.

"You were really horny that night in bed, right? So nasty."

"I was not horny!"

"If I cause your cornea to become blind and get you a transplant, you’ll probably only see Akishino-san’s butt, right?"

"What terrible pornography."

But if that really were the case, the number of boys who would want a transplant would skyrocket.

After all, it was really good stuff…….

"You see, you’re excited again."

"!"

Damn, am I even showing it in my face?

"You’re so perverted, just seeing you face to face might make me pregnant."

"Impossible!"

"Who knows, but your brain is obviously filled with female ass."

"I said no!"

"All lies. More than one or two people have seen you where that T-shirt that reads, ｢Butt!｣. You’ve even said, ｢Let’s play that butt-pushing game?｣ while smiling and assaulting a group of elementary school girls."

"What is this kind of perverted-ness? Is this how you see me in your imagination?"

Masuzu-san’s ability to act as if ｢she was wrongly accused｣ suddenly exploded IN the coffee shop in front of the station.

The waitress that delivered the Coke that I ordered had a look that made me feel very, very uncomfortable.

Ahhh, I’ll never be able to come to this store ever again……

"Therefore, to repay the kind acts I did for you—"

Masuzu drank the cold water that was just re-filled, and then said with a sigh:

"Please accompany me to the Hane River fireworks festival on August first."

"............Not bad!"

"What do you mean by, ｢Not bad｣?"

"Nothing, I was talking to myself."

The hunch that I had last night about the ｢flag raised｣ was right.

If I had accepted Chiwa’s request back then, then it would have been bad.

"Sorry, I can’t do it. That day I’ll be at the cram school studying."

"Studying? You’re using that to refuse a date with your girlfriend?"

"Since I paid a lot of money to go to summer school, I want to obtain the maximum results."

"Really?"

Masuzu frowned and spoke:

"You can’t have already made a date with Harusaki-san or Akishino-san?"

"I swear I didn’t. If you don’t believe me, you can confirm it with Chiwa or Hime."

Masuzu stared straight at my face, but finally let out a small sigh.

"I understand. Even though it’s a pity, I guess I’ll go to the fireworks festival by mself."

"I'm sorry."

Great, did I smoothly get out of it?

"Having said that, I thought you always hated these kinds of activities."

"Oh, that’s not true at all."

Masuzu looked entranced as she looked around the shop that was full of couples, and said:

"Foaming blood red fireworks that blossom on the ground……. Hahaha! It’s probably very nice."

"What do you intend to do at the fireworks festival that makes you so giddy?!"

"Why do you even have to ask? Of course it’s to drown those stupidly happy couples in a sea of blood, without leaving a single one."

"......"

What should I do?

A crime threat.

My girlfriend in front of me just gave a crime threat……

"Because their heads will be in the clouds like idiots, their bodies will be wide open, as I expect."

"Your target is really specific! You don’t really intend to do it?"

Should I go to the police now? Was that also the responsibility of the boyfriend?

"—Damn, of course it’s just a joke."

Masuzu shrugged her shoulders slightly and said.

"Even if we used force to eliminate followers of the love-struck religion, there’s no meaning. It’s better to use ｢Jien-Otsu｣’s club activities to leave a mark."

"......Don’t scare me......"

Relieved, I rubbed my chest. It looks like I won’t become a criminal boyfriend.

"But, ｢Jien-Otsu｣ is still shut down."

Masuzu used her fingers to poke a droplet of water on her glass cup, sighed, and said:

"I thought that solving Mana’s issue would be all. I didn’t think Fuyuumi Ai would be next. The seeds of trouble come one by one, and it never ends."

"You don’t have any countermeasures? Asides from committing a crime."

"Well, it’s not that there aren’t any."

Masuzu stretched out three fingers as she talked.

"The first option, is that we have activities as a group, but not officially as a club."

"Ah, I see."

Wasn’t that a fine solution?

If they weren’t a club activity, it would just be ｢playing with friends｣. As long as they didn’t get too out of hand in school, the disciplinary committee could not make too many remarks.

"However, this has a major flaw."

"What?"

"Because there is no club room, there is no place to put the Holy Bible of popular people, ｢JOJO｣. As a result, this plan is NG."

".....That counts as a flaw?"

This doesn’t really matter, and you have a full set at your house.

"The second option, is the creation of a new club."

"Eh, even though our club has just been shut down?"

"The name will be the ｢Society for the Self-Creation of Young Maidens Again｣. "

"Aren’t you just adding one or two words?"

It didn’t matter was Re-Self-Creation, it was still first Self-Creation, and it would always be ｢Jien-Otsu｣.

"But you can’t just change the name, right? If the content doesn’t change, the disciplinary committee will just intervene again."

"As a result, the problem will just return to the beginning again, so the best option is the third way."

Masuzu’s pupils flashed with light.

"Find out the disciplinary committee member, Fuyuumi Ai’s weakness."

"In the end it’s just a crime. If it were that easy to find people’s weaknesses, no one would have to work so hard, right?"

"That’s not necessarily true."

Masuzu gave an intriguing smile.

"Fuyuumi Ai was boasting in the infirmary, ｢Of course I have a mere boyfriend｣. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah, I remember his name was Michel?"

"Yes, Daigoro."

Masuzu took out a little notebook and flipped through the pages, and said:

"Actually, the day we didn’t have school, Harusaki-san and I were asking all around about Fuyuumi."

"So you actually did that kind of thing?"

Masuzu read aloud her notes:

"Fuyuumi Ai, first year class three. Belongs to the disciplinary committee, and has never participated in a club. Lives in a single parent home, and her family relations include a father and a little brother. Because of her father’s working situation, they move frequently. From Aomori in the north to Nagasaki in the south, they have moved a total of seven times. Although they come and gone from the mountain city of Haneoyama several times, they’ve come back to their residence here for the start of high school."

"Following one’s father everywhere must be really hard to do."

"Really? Being able to stay domestically in Japan is pretty good already."

"......"

When Masuzu who returned from somewhere abroad said this, I was left speechless.

This girl’s family seems to be very complicate.

"Because of this, we know that Fuyuumi Ai does not know very many people. It seems like the only person she knows was her close friend, Asoi Kaoru. From first grade to fourth grade, they were in the same class."

"Yeah, I heard Kaoru say that too."

"I also intended to ask Asoi-kun, but I did not realize he would avoid me so skillfully. He really is impressive."

"Hahaha, he is my close friend, after all!"

"Those two things don’t matter now."

"......Ah, really?"

After being played down so much, I felt a little sad.

"But I did obtain some very important intelligence from Fuyuumi Ai’s classmates."

"What intelligence?"

"They’ve never heard anything at all about this so-called boyfriend, ｢Daigoro｣."

"That’s not really a clue, right?"

Masuzu winked and said:

"Just because never heard anything, it’s a point of focus."

What did she mean? I couldn’t see through her logic.

"From the tone she had showing off her boyfriend, Fuyuumi Ai is ｢love-struck｣. You thought so too, right?"

"Well, forget about it."

Indeed.

She did show off Michel to Chiwa without restraint.

If one took love as a kind of identity and the jewelry one wore, this was a habit that was associated to love-struck people.

"Nevertheless, why do you think it’s significant that no one else knows about the Daigoro thing?"

"Is she keeping her boyfriend a secret from her classmates?"

"And yet she said it so clearly to us, who are her enemies?"

"Ah......"

Now that she said it, it was weird.

Even Kaoru, who was so close to her, didn’t seem to know about Michel.

Why did she say it to Masuzu and them all?

"There is only one answer, and that is ｢Daigoro does not exist｣. In other words—he was a fictional character that Fuyuumi made up."

"So rather than a fake boyfriend, it’s an imaginary boyfriend......"

Self-created, fake, imaginary. I was surrounded by all these kinds of things.

"I want ask Eita to do me a favor."

Masuzu’s tone became solemn as she said:

"I want you to get close to Fuyuumi Ai, and obtain proof that Daigoro’s existence is a lie."

"When you say get close to her, how do I do that?"

"It’s easy, right? Because you’re in the same class as her in summer cram school."

"What, you already know that?"

She was still well-informed as always.

How did this girl get her intelligence network? Even though she had no friends, it was really a mystery where she obtained her information.

"Since you rejected request to go to the fireworks festival, you should do at least this small thing for me."

"......I know."

I sighed.

"But, I do thing that Fuyuumi really does have a boyfriend."

"Really? Why?"

"Because she is such a serious and intelligent person. Why would she spread these kinds of lies which will soon enough be exposed?"

"She would lie."

Masuzu unhesitatingly insisted.

"This world does not have a woman who does not lie."

"......"

Is that true?

"Whatever, for Eita who is only interested in the butts of girls, he surely won’t understand."

"Why are you saying that to me so suddenly!"

"Eita: ｢This world does not have a woman who does not have a beautiful ass｣ (said vigorously)."

"Don’t just randomly mess up other people’s lines—!"

So frightening!

Sure enough, the destructive power of her poisonous tongue is several times worse than before!

I fearfully raised my hands and said:

"Then, Masuzu-san, I also want to ask you one favor."

"What is it?"

"Would it trouble you to return to the tone you used to speak in......?"

Otherwise, I’ll turn into someone with this kind of tone!

"Why?"

"Well, I feel like, I guess I should say your tone is too cold now? Your poisonous tongue has gone beyond the limits? Or should I say I’m almost about to get a broken heart from it?" Masuzu grunted, brought one hand to her cheek, and looked pensive for a moment.

I—even though I was just insulted by her, I was attracted to how her face looked.

She looked listless, her gaze wavering, as she sighed slightly. She looked just like an actress.

Although I could praise her looks as beautiful, I didn’t only just mean it like that.

She looks just like she was ｢expressing something｣.

As for what she was expressing, I didn’t know.

"Okay."

Masuzu said simply.

"I'll think about."

As she stared out of the window, and I saw the profile of her face, I still felt like it was such a man-made thing.

So beautiful.

♦

Later, we chatted aimlessly for thirty minutes before we finished.

On the return trip by myself, I noticed —

"Things have just become troublesome again…..."

Thanks to Kaoru, I was about to live in harmony with Fuyuumi. But now its become a ｢dilemma｣ again.

The situation was no different than the first semester.

No, it was worse.

Why, I shouldn’t have ｢the physique that attracted mayhem｣, or the personality and so forth?

Ever since I became Masuzu’s fake boyfriend, haven’t I kept running into this kind of thing?

"I-I’m not going to just admit I lost......"

I looked up to the summer constellations of stars, and secretly vowed.

How can I just lose to some mayhem?

I will definitely make my ideal summer!

---

Notes

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