OreShura: Volume 4 Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Mental Love Games Mayhem

After Masuzu and them all went home, Saeko-san went to take a bath.

It seemed like she had to go to work again in the evening, so I decided to make her a bento. To keep nutrition in mind, I wanted to focus on vegetables and limit the oil used….. so I decided to make a stew. I'll make a Chizuken Stew since my aunt ate it once before and said was ｢really tasty｣.

When the ingratiates in the pot started boiling, Saeko-san walked into the living room while wiping her wet hair. Although she was only wearing a sleeveless shirt and mini-shorts, I didn't react because I was accustomed to it.

…..but before I got used to it, to be honest I was always very restless. After all, Saeko-san had a really nice body.

Saeko-san twitched her nose and sniffed:

"A loving bento from my wife? That's so heartwarming."

"It's a loving bento from your nephew."

I used my chopsticks to poke the lotus root to see how it was, and decided it still needed to cook for three minutes.

Saeko-san took a beer from the refrigerator.

"You're such a good nephew, I can't believe that awful and terrible couple of parents managed to give birth to a child like you. It's really incredible."

"Haha, don't say that. After all, you're taking care of me now, so it's the least I can do."

"Don't talk like that, Eita. It's natural that I'd take you in, since we're family."

"……Right, I'm sorry."

I carefully took in the feelings of happiness that bubbled up and bowed my head.

Saeko-san drained the can of beer in an instant:

"Oh right, about those four people—do you want your life to be mayhem or a harem?"

"I don't want either."

I took out another can of beer from the refrigerator.

"If you pick the mayhem route, you should take some self-defense classes. Also, you should frequently put a copy of Shounen Jump under your shirt, so that when you're stabbed it'll withstand the penetration."

"I don't think that kind of thing can stop it….."

Futhermore, if I put it there, it seems like it would be difficult to move.

"If you choose the harem route, if you don't develop a careful plan and manage the flags, it will be difficult to conquer five people simultaneously. If you mess up one or two options, an irreparable chain reaction of bombs will explode, so don't be lazy and forget to save."

"If you happen to find a memory card for my life, please buy me one."

I casually answered as I turned off the stove.

"……Eh? Five people? Why are there five people?"

"You can also conquer me."

"I refuse."

Saeko-san shrugged lightly:

If so, then you better pick one girl and date her."

"......I already said I was dating Masuzu."

However, Saeko-san shrugged once again, as if she still didn't believe it.

"That girl didn't say a single sincere thing of her own, right? Although she tried to say some things for the love points, that was simply because she was asked the questions."

Ah—she was really keen.

To be honest, I didn't even know what Masuzu was thinking about.

"Altogether, she's not a bad person, so don't look at her that way. In fact, she has several really good points."

"Eh—such as what?"

"First of all, there's her face, and then there's her face, and um, finally there's her face."

Strange?

Was her only merit her face......?

No, there should have been something else. Like, there's her appearance, looks, body, and things like that.

Saeko smiled as if she saw through everything and said:

"A beautiful flower is always poisonous or barbed. This is the world's rule. Be careful that you aren't pricked."

"Okay, okay, okay."

I picked up the pot, and the scent of soy sauce drifted through the kitchen.

And then I suddenly thought of something.

What did Masuzu usually eat anyways?

♦

Masuzu was sucking.

After I bid farewell to Saeko-san, ate dinner with Chiwa, I was called to the cafe as usual by SMS message. I found Masuzu sucking on a silvery pre-packaged jelly drink . It was the kind of thing that office workers often ate when they didn't have any time to eat.

I sat in the seat opposite of her, and ordered a Coke from the waitress.

"This can't actually be your dinner?"

"Yeah, is there a problem with that?"

I didn't know what she was targeting, but Masuz inflated the drink bag with a ｢poof｣.

"But when you have that, don't you feel like you haven't eaten anything? You should order a sandwich or pasta or something."

"I don't like to eat with that kind of behavior. As long as I can simply fill an empty stomach, anything is okay."

That being said, I don't think I've ever seen this girl properly eat anything before.

The morning when she prepared food in my house, she cooked instant curry, and when she's at our club she only drinks tea.

"Those lovestruck people will often say: ｢Let's go eat dinner together next time?｣ ｢Oh, I know a really place to eat.｣ And as they mutter about vague topics and chat, they stuff themselves with animal carcasses, eggs, as well as plant seeds, roots, and grind leaves in their mouthes. Don't you think this behavior exhibits the revolting behavior of those in love?"

"……Y-you don't have to say it like that......"

She seemed pretty upset.

But this wasn't difficult to understand, since she was just discredited by Saeko san.

It was about eight o'clock at night, and the store was filled nearly entered with student couples enjoying the summer nights together. In other people's eyes, were the the same, right? If you just looked, it was impossible to see through our fake relationship—but this was referring to the ordinary situation.

"So? What did you want to talk about?"

"I have something to ask you."

Masuzu took a sip of the iced coffee she ordered.

"The first thing is about Fuyuumi Ai. I never expected she was actually your ｢childhood friend｣. It was very surprising."

"Like I said at the club, I didn't deliberately try to hide it."

"I'll trust you. But the thing I wanted to confirm wasn't this—but whether Fuyuumi-san actually likes you."

The Coke that I ordered was delivered.

I drank half of it in one gulp:

"Eh, how was I supposed to know? Maybe she just didn't like the taste of how she was robbed of her position as childhood friend from Chiwa"

Because I couldn't mention the thing about the fiancé, I could only answer like this.

Masuzu sighed deeply:

"You really aren't honest. You're even more of a tsundere than Fuyuumi-san is."

"S-So annoying! Why do you care?!"

"I'll change the question then."

Masuzu poked the glass that was covered in condensation, and spoke.

"Fuyuumi's boyfriend whom she calls, ｢Daigoro｣, is fictional, right?"

"......"

I said nothing, and Masuzu seemed to take it as my tacit approval.

"Well, that was obvious anyways. Rather, the fact that Harusaki-san and Akishino-san haven't noticed is weird."

"Leaving Hime aside for now, I think Chiwa was starting to become suspicious."

Fuyuumi often forgot about her own setting frequently, so it won't be long before she can't even hide it from Hime. When that time comes, what will happen to her relationship as Master? I was a little worried.

"I have a simple question. Can you listen to me and not get angry?"

"......What?"

Masuzu stared at me with serious eyes:

"Where does Harusaki-san, Akishino-san, and Fuyuumi-san find the good points in a ｢Lecturing Bookworm｣ like you?"

"I am angry!"

She said I was a lecturing bookworm……

She actually said I was a lecturing bookwormmmmmm……

"What?! Why'd you give me that kind of nickname?!"

As a matter of fact, she's just badmouthing me!

"Because Eita is always lecturing us, right? You lecture me, you also lecture Mana, and still lecture Akishino-san. As a matter of fact, didn't you catch Fuyuumi-san by lecturing to her?"

"Are you looking for trouble? Don't treat me like the protagonist of a gal-game!"

Masuzu tilted her head, ｢Eh?｣:

"Although I don't know much about it, but are gal-games like that?"

"Huh? ……yeah, I guess so. Although I'm also not very sure, but I think there are gal games that have that kind of content."

As for the emotional feeling of the male lead giving advice to straighten out the problems between girls and succeeding, this was the pinnacle of gal-games. ｢Straightening problems｣ and ｢romantically pursuit｣ are related items, Saeko-san said once before.

"I never understood the point of gal-games, but who knew that people would want to try romantic dating in games."

"No, rather, they do it because it's a game, right? After all, love in the real world can be very troublesome, and in games you can fast-forward."

"Eh……?"

Masuzu opened her eyes wide:

"This is the first time I feel like I agree with you, Eita. It looks like you can occasionally say sensible things after all."

"Saying 'occasionally' was unnecessary."

"You're clearly a lecturing thief."

"What happened to the bookworm?"

When you talk with this girl, the nicknames just never stop to increase.

"Hey, when you steal the hearts of girls, aren't you in a sense a ｢thief｣?"

"……You really sugar-coated those words."

"Gal-Game Male Protagonist = Lecturing Thief" theory.

Even I've never heard of that.

"Then let's go back to that question — what do those three girls like about you?"

"How should I know? Go ask them that yourself."

"I want to hear Eita's own thoughts."

"Even if you say so......"

Those girls were super weird. I had no clue what they were thinking.

"First of all, Hime likes me because I can share her delusions of her ｢past life｣? Kind of like having a common interest."

"Yeah, Akishino-san is easy to understand….. Fuyuumi-san then?"

"I don't know. I have no clue."

In kindergarten, it seemed like she confessed to me to find out about "the secret great place to watch fireworks", but this can't be the case anymore. I don't understand what points she actually likes about me.

"Harusaki-san then?"

"Chiwa?"

I tilted my head and said:

"Chiwa's ｢love｣ isn't a romantic kind of ｢love｣. It's a familial kind of ｢love｣. I said this before, but she's basically like a little sister to me."

Although, she treated me like a ｢little brother｣ too.

Chiwa definitely liked me, but that was the kind of love as a ｢family member｣.

"Is that really the case?"

Masuzu's eyes coldly peered over my face.

"Is that something you believe—or no, is it something that you hope is the case?"

"Something I hope? What do you mean?"

"Because you're afraid of losing Harusaki Chiwa—this ｢family member｣."

"......?"

I didn't understand what Masuzu was saying.

Shouldn't it be obvious that you'd be afraid of losing your family members? How did this have to do with what we were talking about?

"Whatever. Let's not talk about that for now."

When the waitress who came to refill water left, Masuzu took advantage of the moment and changed the subject.

"What kind of person is your aunt anyways?"

"She's the kind of person who kept her childishness as she grew up. She seems to view objects and conventions as all a ｢game｣."

With Saeko-san like that, you could probably consider her some kind of genius. Among people who created new things, this kind of personality seemed to be common though.

"That's so troublesome. If she were ｢lovestruck｣, there's a lot of approaches to deal with them. But with people poisoned by games and ｢game-lovestruck｣, I have no clue about how to deal with them."

"That's true."

Even though Masuzu was very well versed on the topic of shounen manga, she probably wasn't very familiar with gal-games, ero games, and stuff like that.

"Having said that, even though she was relying on intuition, I must have become useless if she was actually able to see through our fake relationship." Masuzu stirred her coffee with her straw because the melted ice made it watery.

"What's wrong? It's rare for you admit your weaknesses."

"Even if I look like this, I'm very confident in my ｢camouflage｣. As long as I put on the act of a good girl, most adults are tricked, but it's a real blow that this isn't useful anymore."

"……I see."

I was also hit by the blow, after all I thought my own act was pretty good.

At this moment, Masuzu showed an unfathomable expression:

"Why does even Eita look depressed?"

"Why what?"

"Eeven if our fake relationship was revealed, you don't lose anything at all. As a matter of fact, shouldn't you feel happy?"

"How could I?!"

I strongly protested.

"Since you and I are now recognized as a couple in school, if everything was exposed as a lie, wouldn't that cause a lot of commotion? At this point, I'm going to live or die with you. How could I be that selfish?"

"......"

"Of course, if you're willing to return my notebook, it's a completely different matter. In that case, I'd dump you right away."

When I said that, the corners of Masuzu's mouth gradually rose into a smile.

"You've become really arrogant. You're obviously a just a lecturing thieving bookworm."

"Hahaha, what kind of thief is that?"

The well-behaved and meek Masuzu wasn't like Masuzu at all.

The poisonous tongue and arrogance suited her better.

"What kind of thief? A very excessive thief."

"You really don't have to explain."

"After breaking into a a lone college girl's home to look for underwear, and covering the room with loads of underwear, you started to sniff and sniff the odors as you rolled back and forth. When the student came back and started screaming, you started to lecture in a poor Kansai accent: ｢Panties must be white! There shouldn't be black or red ones!｣ When she called the police, you started shouting, ｢Guilty Remark! Guilty Remark!｣, wore panties on your head and fled."

"You really didn't have to explain!"

For instance, you should shut up! The guests around us are looking at us!

"After being arrested, you became a bookworm in prison."

"Don't insist on finishing!"

The two college girls who sat in the the neighboring space hurriedly left, and their faces looked twisted as if them so something really disgusting.

……G-good grief......

"In short, just like that dirty thing said, I can't be depressed anymore. Since that's the case, I'll follow your aunt's request, and I'll win the crown at the beauty contest so she can see."

"......"

Was that dirty thing referring to me?

Not ｢boyfriend｣?

"Of course, that dirty thing has to help me too. This is so we can make Harusaki-san and them all recognize that I'm the girlfriend during training."

"Before that, you should recognize that I'm a human being, right……?"

Maybe it would have been better if my ｢girlfriend｣ was just a little bit more meek after all, who knows?

---

Notes

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