Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko:Volume5 Chapter2

Chapter 2 - Chanbara Alien

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“It’s the seaaaaaaa!”

“Huh? You’re getting all that excited just from your hometown beach?”

Well, I guess I did dance on the sand too the first time I saw the sea. But in my particular case, it was understandable since I didn’t come from a coastal town. Imagine having no sea in spite of living on an island nation; that’s like settling on a place to live based on false advertisement.

“Weeell, since I took the trouble of coming here, I felt like I had a duty to get soaked and properly moved.”

Ryuushi-san gazed out over the sea from the top of the world with a "heh heh heh” before scratching her cheek with a shy smile. As I was on the verge of being moved by Ryuushi’s smile, that feeling was pushed aside by the flow of people coming down the slope and the attention they were drawing and eventually faded away. I found myself spontaneously half-jogging.

The bus trip had taken nearly 40 minutes, and it was now right before midday. At that hour, the sun hit so hard that it felt as if the sand would fly off the ground.

Once again, the bus pulled at a deserted stop, much like the one in the shopping street. There, halfway through a road that undulated like a slope, stood a rusty black bench with a bus stop sign that looked like it would crumble at a moment’s notice with its core exposed. The road was flanked on both sides by tall, slender and lush trees. As I took a step off the bus, I felt the rustling of the powdery sand beneath the soles of my shoes. The strong scent of the sea was then carried on by a sticky breeze, and Ooi-san walked ahead, using her hand to hold down her hair spilling out of her hat. The girl holding her hand was also pressing down on her head as if to imitate her mother. How heartwarming. I also used to imitate adults when I was a child.

The trees around swayed in a wind that seemed to stick to the skin rather than simply blow through; the rustling sounded like the roar of the waves. At that moment, the sun was hidden by the clouds, and with just the right amount of dimness, my skin shivered for a second at the sudden chill.

The actual waves rolling on the sandy beach were still far away. From the road, the only thing that was visible was the horizon and small tourist boats advancing across the water. Regrettably, within myself, I didn’t feel the same amount of excitement as Ryuushi-san.

Having stepped out of the bus, our neighbourhood excursion group set off in the direction of the ryokan where we would be staying that night. We had some free time after that. What should we do?… Obviously, go to the beach.

Going to the summery seaside and ignore the saltwater? Blasphemy towards youth. Well, probably.

Walking by my side, Erio looked up at me. As I looked back with a “Hum?” she slightly shook her head with a “Humm”. As I pondered a bit what that was about, I immediately came to a realisation.

This was the closest sea to our town. The sea that, for some reason, used to come to Erio’s mind. I guess she cannot help but feel something about it, and if we go further down this road we’ll reach the hill where Erio and I went cycling on that terribly inclined slope back in April. We were so young and passionate back then… Well, I mean, it wasn’t that long ago, but looking back on it, we were so reckless that the thought of it made me shudder. If asked to do it again, we’d have to use a stuntman instead.

Well, no wonder people at school quietly whisper about me being a suicidal bastard. Though I’d respond with a wry chuckle, “Well, ha ha”, I had no particular regrets. But there was one thing that just kept crossing my mind.

After having lived its fullest at the bottom of the sea, will that bicycle truly be able to fly through the sky?

Our accommodation for our neighbourhood excursion was what they commonly call a ryokan, with a large tanuki statue at the right of the entrance and fish ink rubbings adorning the walls. It kept an extremely retro mood.

The atmosphere too was retro, and the exterior too looked withered. The ryokan seemed to have been constructed in a way that perfectly illustrated the difference between a building having some character and simply being a pile of building materials that looked outdated. Still, it could be forgiven due to the sound of the waves that could be heard in the background. The sea was a large, motherly creature and really sneaky. It’s fine, I guess.

The organiser completed the check-in and reception in front of the lobby, received a large amount of keys, and assigned our rooms. From then on until dinner, we were free to do as we pleased.

After a brief exchange, Meme-san, who was acting as the representative of the Touwa family, was handed a key and assigned a room number. There was a single key in the organiser’s hand.

“This is the room for the Touwa family. On the right, at the end of the corridor.”

“Okaaaay.”

As I watched that exchange from the sidelines, I wondered in silence, “Huh? Wait a minute!” Did this mean that the three of us, Meme-san, Erio and I, were going to stay in the same room? I mean, even if were are relatives, wasn’t this bad?

“Wheee Wheeeee! Whee Whee Whee Wheeeee! Pheep, pheep, pheep, pheeeeeep!”

In the end, Ryuushi-san, whose whistle sounded a bit hoarse as she used it as a warning signal, raised an objection about the room assignments. Erio flinched, shielded her blushed cheeks behind her palms, and hid behind Meme-san. That girl, always hiding behind something. “Hmmm?” Meme-san tilted her head.

“Squishy-Cheeky-chan, is something bothering you?”

She poked Ryuushi-san’s cheek with her finger. Hummm, how nice. That’s very nice.

“That kind of sleepover, I mean… I think it would put Niwa-kun in a critical situation!”

“His chastity, you mean?”

“Hey, what?”

Hoeee? Ryuushi-san tilted her head with that kind of expression. She lifted her palm and intently stared at it. She was probably reading the lines of her palm. “Hoeee?” Meme-san, don’t tilt your head just to try to look cute.

“Anyway, him being together with Touwa-san on that day, that place, that room, is absolutely out of the question.”

Ryuushi-san was making a scene. She stomped on the carpeted floor vigorously with an expression that seemed to say, “Ukiiii”. The organiser was taken aback by the commotion but simply said, “Well, next!” and began passing keys to the other travellers.

Maekawa-san wasn’t showing any interest. But she was grinning, the corners of her mouth pulled up towards her cheeks. Her expression clearly showed that she found extremely amusing Ryuushi-san’s flustered state. Ooi-san too was hiding her mouth with her hand while her eyes glimmered with mischievousness. It looked perfectly natural for them, as if it were their true unadulterated expression.

“So, no to the Eri-tan and Mako-kun set then?”

Meme-san placed her hands flat on Erio’s head and mine. She managed to pull away and dodge before I could strike. Shit.

“Rather, it looks like a case of ‘Danger: do not mix’.”

“W-why?”

Erio voiced her confusion and objections as she peeked her right eye from behind Meme-san’s arm. In response, Ryuushi-san rose both her arms and growled an “Ugaaa” in a threatening manner… It was as if the devil of cuteness were striking a bewitching pose, but once again, Erio darted and quickly hid. Aren’t the two of them actually enjoying themselves? Erio especially seemed delighted to be with a girl that acted like a friend.

“Hoh hoh? So you are fine with pairing the diabolical beauty Meme-san and the virgin Mako-kun together?”

“Hey, don’t use two expressions that normal people don’t say in the open.”

As I was about to grab the ends of her hair to pull them to make her behave herself, Meme-san reacted as if she had eyes in the back of her head and spun round. Her hair smoothly slid off my palm, and she snorted out a triumphant and derisive “Fuuuun” after spinning around with Erio. She was looking more and more like a youkai.

“So, Cheeky-chan, what do you suggest?”

In response to Meme-san, Ryuushi-san pointed her index finger at her.

It was directed at Erio who was secretly peeking at me while hiding behind her mother’s back.

“I shall take that child in!”

“Heh…”

I was a powerless cry of discontent, and it wasn’t clear who cried it.

“… So, this is how fate turns out to be.”

“This is the love nest I’ll be sharing with Mako-kun, in other words, our lovely square.”

“A den of misery, you mean? Yeah, yeah.”

Looks like I’m staying together with Meme-san. Hmm, well, I had a feeling things would turn out this way. No surprise, no laments, no trust. It’s like a spell. I tossed my bag at the wall and rotated my right shoulder that had been carrying the weight of it.

In the room opened with the key Meme-san received, there I stood. Meme-san too would stay there. Wasn’t this even more a case of “Danger: do not mix”? Or rather, Meme-san was far too dangerous to be left on her own.

The room featured a Japanese-style interior with tatami flooring. There was a tiny TV that might not work, a hanging scroll that had faded so much that the image was no longer recognisable, and yellow-green walls. On a low-legged table stood a notepad, a ballpoint pen, and a yellowed phone for internal calls. There was an AC unit, but it wasn’t running, so the air inside was thick and humid like the steam of freshly cooked rice. A faint scent reminiscent of incense was hanging in the air, like in a grandmother’s home. Two futons had been provided; that was the one and only saving grace.

In that room, the sense of excitement hovered at low altitude. The only thing that could send expectations soaring and turn things around with a home run was the view outside the window. I placed my hands on the window frame through which the sunlight came in and took a sweep of the eye over the coast.

It didn’t quite give me the same “Waah!” deep feeling as Ryuushi-san, but the sight of the blue-green water stretching before me was refreshing. At the very least, it was better than staring at the Touwa family’s garden from the second-floor window during the daytime. As for the night, well, Erio was there.

“It’s about time to register the verb memeru inside Mako-kun’s dictionary.”

“I already have enough synonyms for the word depression.”

I pressed against my aunt’s forehead as she was clinging to me, and I sighed. Come on, Eri-tan, help me out. It was only today that I realised that you are the perfect scapegoat.

Erio was taken to the room where Ryuushi-san was staying. It was almost a kidnapping. She sought help, crying, “Cousin, Mom,” but I simply waved at her as I looked upon them setting off on their journey.

I couldn’t ask for Ryuushi-san to take me in… Maybe I should have? Hey there, my inner self, you’re being a bit too bold there. Remain in the bounds of reason.

“But Meme-san, are you fine with that?”

“From my very first impression I have set my heart on you; please take care of meee.”

In the summer I turned seventeen, I came to the realisation that trying to have a serious conversation with my aunt while she puckered her lips and tried to suck on my upper arm with a “Mwaa” was a futile endeavour. If this is the standard for aunts, it looks like an aunt crisis might be looming.

“About Erio. She was kidnapped.”

“Isn’t it fiiiiine? Eri-tan made a friend she can have a sleepover with; it is seriously worthy of sekihan.”

“Isn’t that just sexual harassment?”

“Erio herself didn’t seem to dislike it, so it’s fine.”

For a moment, her smile was filled with maternal affection, which brought me to a halt. But only for a moment.

“As her mother, I’m happy and also sad. That’s why I need to suck on Mako-kun to make him evolve.”

She came charging forward, “Bam bam bam bam”, with both hands spread out, pursing her lips as if to ask for a kiss.

“Before you reach your perfect form, become an adult!”

What’s going on, Romcom Goodwill Ambassador? You’re only getting cosy with your aunt! If this is all I deserve, it makes me cry!

While wrestling with these kinds of thoughts and running around the room to escape Meme-san, I ended up working up a good sweat. I suppressed the urge to take a shower rather than go to the seaside and pressed my hand against my forehead to cool down.

Rather, why the hell was that forty-year-old sorting through the contents of her bag without batting an eyelid while humming to herself? I could only assume that she was collecting the vital energy or whatever that I shed while running away.

“Mako-kun, are you heading to the beach so you can have a blood overflow as you feast your eyes on Meme-tan wearing a swimsuit?”

“There are other reasons I’m going to the beach to have a nosebleed. First, I plan to head to the beach hut after changing clothes. I was thinking about eating lunch there.”

‘Huuum. Meme-tan too will be very busy being swept up in young people’s plans.”

“I think you’re the one manipulating young people’s plans with all your might like a hammer throw.”

Between the understanding of the fulcrum, the point of application, and the point of action, there were too many disparities. I won’t enquire anymore about whether Meme-san is young or not.

Meme-san, who had been rummaging through her bag, suddenly froze and turned her head to look back.

“But what are you going to do at the beach?”

“Huh? Well… Guess I’ll do something.”

Indeed, nothing immediately came to mind when I thought about what to do at the beach. Beach volley? No, we don’t have the numbers for that.

Well, guess I’ll find out once I’m there. Besides, for a young man there were plenty of things that could satisfy me just by looking at them, so just agonising about them before even going there wasn’t an option.

It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that the mysterious summer holidays were for the sake of such a moment.

“Well, it’s the sea.”

Bursting swimsuits, refreshing piercing swimsuits, swimsuits scorching us with intense heat!

… I got that wrong. Bursting flirtatious voices, a refreshing piercing blue sky, and a midsummer day scorching us with intense heat. It gave a sense of depth or the powder sand of the sandy beach. Beneath my feet, the sand warmed by the sun made it feel as if I were touching freshly prepared popcorn. Occasionally, my leg jerked as if reacting to the heat. Every time, I planted my feet firmly in the sand while maintaining my balance and straightened my back. And then, I would take a deep breath of the air that had wafted from across the sea.

It may not be the winter sea, but I felt like walking towards the horizon towards Papua New Guinea.

Waves, sandy beach, scorching heat! But I was unable to sit down. It appeared that the longing I harboured after having moved here from a landlocked prefecture hadn’t been tempered enough by the events of April to make me realise how fleeting reality was. With a tap-tap-tap, I kicked the sand to scatter these ever-renewed impulses. If I remained standing here doing nothing, I might end up shouting “Far away!” and charge straight at the waves rolling onto the beach. That was the kind of excitement I was feeling.

So let’s express this through words rather than any eccentric behaviour:

“It’s the seaaaaaaa!”

Blatant plagiarism. And yet, there was something about the sensation of not knowing who I was addressing this to that made it surprisingly addictive. Ryuushi-san was a master wordsmith, so I guess she’s good at knowing what makes things sound good.

For some reason, my back felt itchy when I stared intently at the sea. I looked back at the ryokan where I was staying. The fact that the back of the ryokan was right by the sea was a big plus. This was likely the lifeline of an otherwise unremarkable ryokan. I looked around the area. People, parasols, and the sound of the waves. I stood there as I lowered my eyelids and let the sunlight wash over my entire body. A mixture of exhilaration and tension coursed through, making my muscles tremble as if they were kneaded into stiffness.

I had returned to the seaside, the place I had visited by bicycle back in April while carrying Smakin Erio. Also, the place I came to in June to launch a plastic bottle rocket. So I’ve actually been coming here every couple of months.

I opened my eyelids and brushed my hand across my face. I felt a sensation as if particles of light were being brushed off.

The only moving things were the waves and Erio. In contrast to nighttime, when it was quiet, the seaside was filled with people during the weekend. It wasn’t exactly bursting with people, but it was just a bit too cramped to not enjoy a full sense of freedom. I spotted a few elderly people who had come along, but I was wondering if everyone else had arrived yet.

I peered in what seemed like beach huts to see if anyone else was there, but I didn’t stop any familiar faces… Ah, here they are. We hadn’t arranged to meet with them, but the Ooi-san’s family were inside having a meal. Ooi-san, her daughter, and her husband, were sitting side by side. They all wore swimsuits with a hoodie over it. Ooi-san was wearing the same red hat she wore earlier. All three had plates of yakisoba sauce on the table, and they were holding their noodles with their chopsticks and blowing on them to cool them down. It appears their family had a cat’s tongue.

I looked at Ooi-san’s husband, whom I had never really paid much attention to until now. He appeared to be in his late twenties, average in height and build. With sunglasses hanging on his head, he gave the feeling of a good-natured Onii-san.

Thinking about it, it was Ooi-san that their daughter really took after.

As I stood there by the entrance, their daughter looked up as if startled, with yakisoba sauce smeared around her mouth. She stared intently at me and stopped moving. When I lightly waved at her, she waved back her chopsticks as if on the brink of tears. Ugh, that girl isn’t my cup of tea. I don’t really know how to deal with small children. Erio too is kind of like that, at least it’s how I see it.

I turned my back on the beach hut’s entrance and stood on the sand, my arms crossed. It appears that I was the first to arrive at our meeting spot, maybe because I had run all the way from my ryokan room to the beach. I couldn’t spot Maekawa-san either, who had patted me on the shoulder as we headed towards our rooms, saying, “Today’s choice is a bit classic, but I hope you won’t be disappointed”. Come to think of it, was really safe for her to walk around the beach in summer? Her blood circulation was so bad that she would get dizzy simply from raising her arms, so it should be quite a problem for her. In a hard boiled movie, having to raise one’s hands while being held at gunpoint was a desperate situation, but in a different sense. She should better understand that about herself and make sure to take proper precautions against the sun.

And for some reason, Meme-san had left our room first without putting her swimsuit on. Was she plotting something? I tried to look for that adult-child who was the kind to kick a beach ball against the waves as special training or who would bury herself in the sand while shouting about a beauty excavation game, but I couldn’t spot her. How lonely.

“Ouch…”

I stroked my hair that was directly exposed to the sunlight and grimaced at the dazzling surface of the sea. As I stood in this sweltering heat, I took a look around as I wondered what the others were up to. A woman was lying face-down under a parasol; a father was building a sandcastle with his child; the heads of people were bobbing in the waves as they soaked in the sea for no particular reason… It felt odd. Strangely, I haven’t really done anything. There was nothing in particular that could only be done at sea, and the people who were simply floating on the water seemed to symbolise that.

It was nothing more than an extension of lazily resting on a sofa in the living room during the summer holidays. I had a feeling that something wasn’t quite right, but I couldn’t come up with specific suggestions as to what I was supposed to do.

What kind of thing do people do at the seaside in summer? Dive in? Shout out? Light fireworks?

“Did I keep you waiting, transfer student?”

A voice of salvation reached out to my loneliness. Exactly! I was no longer standing alone by the sea; I had a girl with me… Huh? Wait, a girl? I can’t actually make out its gender.

A long and slender green crocodile lumbered onto the sandy beach. You know, these inflatable things? Those you blow up and they float on the sea? Maekawa-san was clad in one of those and lumbering closer on two legs.

Having merged with a crocodile, Maekawa-san was attracting some attention, probably because people assumed it was part of a promotional event or maybe that she was a part-timer in a costume. But it was I, the person meeting with Maekawa-san, who seemed to be attracting strange looks. If there was a hole, would it be alright for me to fall into it?

“Are you disappointed because it is too conventional?”

asked shyly Maekawa-san, or should I say Wanikawa-san, her tail loudly slapping against the sandy beach. The way that person felt shame or not was unbelievable. A sense of shame on a totally different level from us ordinary people.

“I feel I’m about to collapse to my knees, albeit in a different sense,” I muttered as I turned my head to the side.

“Humm?”

“No, never mind.”

I’ll keep this a secret, but when she told me she would wear something classic, I was hoping to see her in a swimsuit. Ha ha ha, so that’s what she meant. Without fail, Destiny has a poor sense of direction. And absolutely never includes people’s opinions about the destination.

Well, I guess that if she tried to satisfy the demands of all of humanity, she wouldn’t be able to go anywhere.

“What about the other two?”

Wanigawa-san looked around relentlessly. As always, her face was peeking out from between the mouth. I guess the saving grace is that the crocodile’s head wasn’t realistic and was fairly cute, like those that could be found in arcade games where they are smashed.

If someone was floating in the sea with a costume modelled after the real thing, they couldn’t complain if someone came along to get rid of them.

And rather than get too obsessive about her outfits, I think she should pay more attention to sun protection.

“Ryuushi-san and the others aren’t here yet. By the way, Meme-san seems to have disappeared somewhere.”

“Heh? Knowing her, I’ll just have to accept the fact that she might pop out suddenly from under the sand.”

“Wah ha ha.”

Maekawa-san too can say nice things. But I suppose anyone associated with Meme-san would naturally become like that. The only one who can completely accept her without any resistance is her daughter Erio.

“Hey, sorry for the delay!”

Behind me, I heard a voice that sounded like a sushi deliveryman’s, accompanied by the sound of two footsteps running on the sand. “Ooh!” I exclaimed, as I turned around as fast as I could, as if to cling to the light streaming in. On that sandy beach… were the figures of Smakin rolled inside a ryokan futon, and that of Ryuushi-san who was pushing her from behind while trotting. How did it turn out this way? To top it all off, Smakin was acting as a human shield that prevented me from seeing Ryuushi-san in her swimsuit. Hey, out of the way!

This time, there was no risk of confusing this for some kind of event: Smakin with her ryokan futon around her upper body was monopolising everyone’s summer gazes. She was being pushed and approaching in a straight line. Trot trot trot.

“Should we go there, Wanikawa-san?”

I was also trotting to attempt to escape. Taking Maekawa-san by the hand, I hurried toward the sea.

“Ah! Y-Yes.”

Maekawa-san whose reactions were oddly sluggish nodded vaguely. Her movements were a bit clunky, but it should be alright. It looked like her mascot suit had poor ventilation, so she was probably already struggling with the heat. Cooling her with seawater should fix this.

“Hey! You over there! Err, and you creature, too! You do not have the right to call a lawyer!”

“Mofumofuuu!”

She was definitely shouting something from inside her futon without grasping at the situation! Maybe she should change her name from Denpa-Onna to Futon-Onna? When I looked back, the scenery felt like something straight out of a summer ghost story B movie. I wasn’t seriously trying to run away, so futon + alpha-san easily caught up with me.

Then Ryuushi-san, who was wearing a light-blue hoodie, stepped in front of Smakin and placed her hands on her hips with an expression of indignation. The way she puffed her cheeks in anger, puff-puff, made it look like fans might suddenly appear to poke at them from both sides. These cheeks seemed to embody the very essence of Ryuushi-san’s appeal.

“Why did you run awaaay? If you bully Ryuuko-san too much, she might stray off from the right path and become the secret boss of a group of delinquents.”

“Eh? Does this mean I’m helping her get a huge promotion?”

“Mofu.”

I’ll just ignore that one. Then, at the same time as Ryuushi-san, we pointed at each other’s backs.

“”What’s that behind you?””

Immediately after, a silence of a few seconds followed. We then both chuckled a pointless “heh heh”.

“What, you ask? Why, it’s Wanigawa-san.”

“And this is Futon-Maki-Maki-san.”

“Why is she wrapped in a futon?”

“Well, she said she would wear it.”

“No, no, didn’t you help out?”

“She said it was a Touwa-san-style form of sun protection.”

As if to say “Exactly!” Smakin bent her waist forward. While she was at it, she added a “mofu”.

“I think anyone who tries to wrap their heads around that kind of thing has been fried by the sun.”

“How long are you going to hold on to that? *Chop*!”

Ryuushi-san stood forward and brought down her hand as a blade between Maekawa-san and me. Maekawa-san’s wrist that I had still been gripping without realising it, and my hand, were supposed to come apart. But Ryuushi-san’s hand-chop was weaker than expected and didn’t cut through. It stopped with a *twap*. “Why you little…” *twap* *twap* It didn’t hurt.

With a spirited “Haaaaa!” she tore off her hoodie and tossed it aside. She then unleashed a rain of chops with the battle cries of a post-apocalyptic warrior: “Ah ta ta ta ta ta ta!” With each swing the impact diminished and became weaker. I could ignore Ryuushi-san’s chops and let her go on my own, but for some reason, it was kind of fun. It was pleasant to look at, and this was good enough.

Why? Because Ryuushi-san after taking off her hoodie, was wearing a swimming suit! While Ryuushi-san was engrossed in swinging chops while shouting, “Wataaaah! Kieeeeeh” I was impolitely staring and admiring. Her swimsuit. Ryuushi-san herself. Her entire body.

Ryuushi-san was wearing an unadorned bikini, and her headgear had been updated to a straw hat with a ribbon. Hummm… they’re more ripe than those I imagined while reading erotic books!

As she swung her hand down in a karate-chop motion, her youth too was swaying. Her youth, or rather, to put it bluntly, her breasts. While her cheeks were certainly saggy, the rest of her body was quite something too. Though a fruitarian, she sure had nothing to disdain.

With every up-and-down gesture, I felt as if Youth Points were spilling out from the gaps of her swimming suit. As one could expect of the embodiment of youth, such an ample bosom! It was because there was a wall between them and me, making it impossible to directly worship them, which makes it actually feel like youth; what a strange thing. One’s sense of distance becomes poorer as one gets older. That’s why when people become adults, they are parted from their youth.

As I was staring, I let my guard drop, and with a “Nywaaah!” she noticed me. Ryuushi-san pulled back her hand as she jumped in surprise and covered her breasts, her face completely red with embarrassment.

Ryuushi-san pulled back her hand as she jumped in surprise and covered her breasts, her face completely red with embarrassment.

“I-It’s because I’m the sports-orientated type!”

“I-I see!”

I didn’t get it at all! But I was swept along by the course of events and ended up accepting. Or rather, I had no reason to argue. Is there a single man in this world who would dispute the theory that sports-orientated type = two-piece? Maybe only competition swimsuit maniacs? Come to think of it, I think a guy called Aihara, a classmate of mine back in middle school, was like that.

Well, since I was found out, I might as well open my hand. I let go of Maekawa-wan’s slender wrist and looked at her face, puzzled by her lack of reaction. Her entire body seemed to be wavering. Her eyes felt foggy and her eyelids heavy. “Are you alright?” the crocodile’s upper teeth wobbled up and down with a hum. But I couldn’t trust her.

After all, it looks like she’s been swallowed whole by a crocodile.

“Fu fu fu, I’m fine… gaooo. What’s the cry of a crocodile? GYAOOOO maybe?

“Wanigawa-san, your eyes are turning round and round, though.”

“That’s nothing important. But transfer student, your nipples are showing. Aren’t you ashamed at exposing them to the world?”

“Huh? Ah, well, I’m wearing a swimming suit, and I’m at the beach, so…”

To have this specifically being pointed out did make me feel a little embarrassed. I instinctively covered my chest with my hands.

It felt like Maekawa-san was shimmering in a heat haze, but I needed to turn and direct my attention to someone else first, someone who looked like she was about to succumb to fever. Rather, it looked like she was already half cooked. I firmly grabbed the knot of the futon. And then yanked it hard to the side.

“Mooofuuu.”

Erio spun round, shouting something similar to the “aaaareeeee?” that could be heard when a corrupt official unfastened a woman’s obi. After spinning round and round, the cord became loose, and Erio collapsed on the sandy beach. Aaaah, the ryokan futon was covered in sand. Had I known it would come to this, I would have brought my own futon in my luggage… though it wouldn’t have solved the problem.

“Hey, time to end up the Smakin.”

I peeled off the futon that was still wrapped around her body. Erio tumbled from the edge of the futon onto the sand while groaning a soft “ouch”, sending particles of light dancing from the impact and shifting drastically the nature of the attention surrounding us.

It was like peeling a husk of bamboo to reveal its beautiful core.

Once the floral-patterned ryokan futon was removed, Erio’s swimsuit was a one-piece. It was white with frills. Her long hair was tied on top of her head, maybe because she was afraid it would disturb her while swimming. A large number of particles were generated from a single point and remained there.

They drifted gently through the air to settle on Erio’s swimsuit, creating a unique pattern on the fabric. Light-blue particles flew diagonally like bubbles, creating an underwater feel against her porcelain-like skin and swimsuit. The sensation of looking up from beneath the water at the pale sea surface and the light piercing through it came flooding back. Combined with these transparent eyes that seemed to have lain hidden at the bottom of the deep waters untouched by anyone, the whole conveyed a strong sense of “isei”.

“Isei” as in “the opposite sex” and “another planet”. Also, “oddly pure”. Something too different from us.

Enveloped in the scent of a foreign land, maybe even a different world, that was completely at odds with the familiar scent of the local sea, which was itself an extension of the smell of a swimming pool, it was as if she alone was out of place, hurtling through a work of fiction.

Completely oblivious to the astonishment surrounding her, Erio sat up as if it was no big deal, fanned her red face and exhaled with a “Fuuu” as if she had accomplished something. She then shut her eyes, perhaps because the pouring sunlight was too bright.

“It’s hot.”

“Are those your only impressions? And, errr, brush the sand off.”

“’Kay”.

She complied obediently and patted and brushed the sand off her skin. At her side, Ryuushi-san was eyeing Erio with a sceptical stare with narrow eyes and a low “Hummmm” full of doubt. When she noticed that I was watching her, she lifted her head and let out a “Ugagaaaa”, a threatening behaviour that ultimately was simply a way of spreading cuteness. I jokingly moved my head back.

Having finished brushing off the sand, Erio adjusted her swimsuit in the places it dug into (*heartthrob*) and stepped towards me. She gazed at me with her characteristic innocent and childlike eyes. Even though her mannerisms were the same as usual, just the fact that her outfit, hairstyle, and the surroundings were different was enough to make my heart flutter; Erio sure was a sly one.

“Cousin.”

“W-what?”

“When you look at me, does it make you pant?”

With a bang, my heart turned to liquid and gushed out. It was also coming out of my nose, and it also felt like something hot was about to steam from my eyes. My lungs were burning, not with air but as if they were inhaling the pouring sunlight. It was hot. I coughed violently.

“What kind of question is that?!”

“When I bought my swimsuit, Mom said that Mako-kun would definitely do that.”

“Heey, now where’s that forty-year-old?!"

I’ll bury her! I’ll bury her where the waves reach just about face height! I looked around in a frenzy everywhere but for some reason I couldn’t find that person who was the very embodiment of self-assertion. Shit, was she hiding at the bottom of the ocean or something? Meme-san the merman! It feels perfectly right!

“Cousin, are you looking for something?”

“I’m looking for that mother of yours, who filled her daughter’s head with such nonsense!"

“Hum? She’s here. Over there.”

With a half-turn, Erio easily spotted her mother and pointed at her. When I looked in that direction, I saw the back of the forty-year-old, crouching as if to hide in the shadow of a plain parasol. I don’t know when, but she had changed into her swimming suit. Instead of planting the gigantic parasol in the sand, she held it at an angle and moved across the beach, walking sideways like a crab with a rustling sound.

“Sorry, wait for me a minute”, I said before darting out between Ryuushi-san and Erio as I headed straight for Meme-san. Even as I stood next to her, Meme-san kept her head down and wouldn’t look up at me. From atop, as I looked down at her head, her long hair was hanging down to form a figure resembling that of an octopus washed ashore.

“Hey you… There’s a lot I have to say, but what the hell is that strange behaviour?”

Knowing her, I half-expected her to be baking and selling pies with dubious claims that they could restore psychic powers. I mean, her crab impersonation already made her stand out quite a bit from the rest of the tourists.

“Mako-kun, is it a sad thing to become an adult?…”

“And you think you’re an adult?” her age aside.

“You know, adults have to wage war against nature in this manner. Mmmm, I wonder if the angle of the sunlight hasn’t shifted a bit?”

She adjusted the angle of her parasol while groaning, “Ouch, ouch, ouch,” as the lactic acid was building up in her arm. Ah, so that’s what it’s all about. Because of her age, she’s worried about UV rays. That’s why she’s tilting her parasol in a desperate attempt to block out the summer sun. I think she’d better stay in the ryokan than go to such lengths just to go on the beach during the day.

“The moment my skin is exposed to the scorching heat, the illusion of Meme-chin just melts away.”

“Doesn’t seem like such a bad thing, though,” I mumbled. My voice must have drowned in the sound of the waves.

“That’s why I’ll spend the rest of my life being called Meme-chin the clam-digger. Sakusaku.”

After stabilising the angle of the parasol, Meme-san held the pole in place by sandwiching it between her thighs and an arm. She then took out a kid shovel for sand digging, the king one might bring from home, and casually dug in the sand.

“I don’t think any shellfish live here, though.”

Since responding was a hassle, I ended up repeating similar lines.

“In that case, I wonder if I could dig your youth instead… Geh he he, sakusaku.”

Hummmm, that’s a serious illness. I felt sorry for her, or rather, concerned about her, but Meme-san then paused her rapid mouvements and beckoned me over with a quick and repeated flick of her finger moving towards herself.

“Mako-kun, crouch down a bit.”

“Haah.”

Though I had doubts, I didn’t give it much thought and knelt at Meme-san’s side, who then slid my arm under her bust with a “Torya!” and a “Waah!” to hoist it upwards, in order to deliberately show off her swimsuit and her exacerbated cleavage. Maybe because it was such a surprise attack, and because I was staring at them from such a close distance, half my mind went completely blank. I stepped back, almost falling on my butt.

“Aaah, I feel a bit better now. From your reaction, it feels like I slurped some of Mako-kun’s youth.”

“H-hey!”

I felt embarrassed about how flustered and awkward the swimsuit and cleavage of a person who walked sideways like a crab made me feel. My cheeks were painfully hot. Well, the heat itself was an external cause brought in by the summer sun.

“Say, say, Mako-kun.”

“What?”

“‘Young Meme-tan’ can be shortened to ‘Wakame-tan’, right?”

I don’t care! I moved away from Meme, kicking up sand with loud boom, boom, boom. How strange, I was supposed to be angry, but for some reason I’m running away even more desperately than I did on the way here. This wasn’t supposed to turn like this.

I returned to Erio and the other girls. Ryuushi-san was touching Maekawa-san’s crocodile skin (is that even the right term?) while asking, “Where do you buy these things?” “Mmm, online shopping and stuff I get from my part-time jobs,” answered Maekawa-san in a mumble, her face still as red as pickled ginger. While listening to that exchange from a distance, I rested my hands on my knees as I caught my breath. Along the way, Erio leaned ion to look closely at my face, her finger resting against her lower lip. It was rare for her to do so, but for some reason she was smiling and looking happy.

“Cousin, you lost again against Mom.”

“Shut up.”

“Did Mom also make you pant?”

“Why you… there are other things you need to learn first!”

“Ubya bya bya!”

I pulled on both her cheeks to shut her up. Ooh, they sure can stretch. Eri-tan was still a beautiful girl, even when her face widens—err, well, anyway… Her face had the charming and endearing allure of a kagami mochi. That was that.

“Deeefense, deeefense!”

“Nwaaah.”

Ryuushi-san darted from the side. With a cry, she spread her arms and legs wide and planted herself firmly between Erio and me. But that cry of hers, the one used by substitutes, was Ryuushi-san fine with it?

“Beep beep, no stretching allowed!”

“Ryuushi-san, you were also doing it before we got on the bus.”

“I’m extra-judicial, so it’s OK! But Niwa-kun, you’re a no-go! This summer, I’m gonna crack down on your moral behaviour without any mercy. Because cracking down is what Ryuuko-san does, riiiight?”

“This summer is almost over, though.”

“In that case, I’m ready to make a last stand until next year!”

As always, she was the kind of person who would make impromptu and unique remarks. But next year, huh? I wonder if we’ll be that close in one year. After all, the classes will be reshuffled when we become third-year students. Suddenly, the memory of “the girl”, who had gradually become a figure of the distance past, flashed through my mind. I had no regrets, but it still left a bit of a bitter taste.

“… So, you’d better put that futon in order.”

I pointed to the futon that was left lying on the sandy beach. With a “piii”, Erio rose a hand, pressing it against her ear.

“I’ll just wear it, problem solved.” “No, you won’t. You’re bringing it back, alright?” “Ugh…” With a look of resentment, Erio clutched the futon and ran towards the ryokan. Of course, the way she runs and the sound of her footsteps were unmistakable. She was well-balanced.

“Are we heading for the beach house first?”

“Hum, I think we should wait for Touwa-san.”

Ryuushi-san made that model-student-like remark, glancing over me from time to time as if to gauge my reactions. That’s fine and dandy, but Maekawa-san was the one I was worried about. I looked at her and decided it was better to move to the shade than leave her standing in the blazing sun. Then, noticing my gaze, Maekawa-san rose her fist saying “Don’t worry about meeee” even though her legs were wobbling. A crocodile. How surreal.

“Hey, hey, you know…”

Ryuushi-san pulled on my upper arm. The fact that I wasn’t wearing clothes didn’t mean that she had to go out of her way to pinch my flesh. When I turned around asking, “What?”, Ryuushi-san was sitting down, her legs crossed, while tracing a spiral in the sand with her finger. She was mumbling, her lips slightly trembling, hiding her weak eyes in the shadow of her straw hat.

“Niwa-kun, I feel like you might be misunderstanding things, but it’s not like I hate Touwa-san or anything.”

“Ah well, you were having such a friendly fight on your way here.”

Erio had indulged herself in pulling both of Ryuushi-san’s cheeks. How nice it must be to be able to casually pinch someone of the same sex. Unless I’m in such a state that my head is practically boiling from heat and frustration, my fingers would never reach that place.

“But she’s not your cup of tea?”

As I pointed that out, Ryuushi-san recoiled with a “Ugh!” And then, Maekawa-san groaned a “Uuu” but that is irrelevant. “Oh dear,” I muttered as I moved behind Maekawa-san. This should do it.

“Maybe sooo, maybe noooot.”

“… Ah well, I get it.”

As Ryuushi-san herself earlier mentioned, getting involved with Erio involved certain risks. It was a position a bit tricky to be in. I pretty much gave up the moment Hanazawa-san and Nakajima noticed me.

“But, but, you know, I don’t want to be seen as a bad girl or a petty girl… mumblemumble. Uwaaa, so that’s the reasoooon? Nuwaaan nuooooo, nugiiiii.”

She began to agonise all on her own, clutching her head and bending over as if she were doing squats. While inconsiderate of me, it was once again a feast for my eyes. Ryuushi-san’s vulnerable part is so dazzling. I decided to savour her anguish until Erio returns. She was trying not to show her troubles, repeatedly moving up and down in a twisting and undulating motion.

A few minutes later, Erio came running back, both arms outstretched horizontally. She wasn’t rolled in a futon and was truly empty-handed. I nodded with a “Good”. I also glanced in the direction Meme-san was. Huh, she was no longer under the parasol. Did she melt away as she said she would? Still, it feels like she’ll make a comeback, though.

“I finished tidying up.”

“Yeah, yeah, good girl, good girl.”

She had reported that with a hint of pride, so I casually responded with a word of praise and stroke her hair. Erio had a tickling smile spreading across her lips and let herself be patted. Despite being exposed to intense light, Erio’s hair maintained a constant temperature. A pleasant feeling of coolness spread to my palm, as if I were touching a soft fabric that had remained in the shade. And then, Erio’s particles covered the back of my hand.

“Ah, she’s going to crack down on me for my morals again,” I thought, as I braced myself, but Ryuushi-san, who had been agonising, unexpectedly rose her hand. She was standing, her arm outstretched even straighter and more upright than Erio earlier.

“I’ve finally eradicated the bad girl. From now on I am the lovely Ryuuko-san.”

Well, she was lovely to begin with, or rather, she fell in the cute category. Well, anyway, she’s good-looking.

“Well, should we go then?” “Yessss” “Yeah” “Hum” All three responded in their own way, and on our merry way we went.

While there were other stalls, we naturally headed for the beach hut where the Ooi family had been eating earlier.

It was a prefabricated structure that looked like a beach hut or some seaside shack. We entered in single file. Come to think of it, I think I remember lining up like this when Ryuushi-san and the others came to my house before. Why did the four of us have this habit of moving in a single file whenever we are together? By the way, Maekawa-san was at the fore. A ridiculously fragile vanguard. If someone were to attack, she’d likely let her guard down.

“Welcome,” greeted a tanned man who seemed to be a part-timer. He was sporting a goatee and gave me the impression of being a university student surfer. He was visibly intimidated by Wanikawa-san who was our lead, and was unfriendly with me, who was right behind, and his previously dull eyes lit up when he looked at the two who were closing the march. What an easy-to-read man.

“Welcome,” he greeted once again cheerfully at Erio and Ryuushi-san. Erio flinched and shrugged her shoulders and then pressed herself against my back as she used me as her shield. Ryuushi-san, visibly bewildered, gave a slight nod and a “Hello”. The surfer guy tugged my hand and said, “Wait a second,” and led me to a corner of the shop. Before I could crack a joke like “Oh? So I’m your first choice?” his arm was draped around my shoulder.

“Which one is your girlfriend? I’d rather not mess with another guy’s girlfriend, you see.”

He was asking me for confirmation in an over-familiar tone. Before brushing his arm aside I glanced at the faces of the three girls one after the other… Yeah, that was probably the right answer.

“All of them.”

The surfer guy was taken aback. But he grinned and slapped me on the back, probably thinking I was joking.

“Oh, come on.”

“No, I’m serious. We’re from a place that practises polygamy and came here as tourists.”

I answered, feigning composure. Deep inside I was a little worried about this older guy confronting me about it. The thought of him trying to check this out with the three girls was making me break out into a cold sweat. If he asked them about it, they would lose their minds each in their own way. And some were already light-headed from the heat.

“Well, should I try to ask them directly?”

Hey, surfer guy. That’s a smart move. Before I could come up with an excuse to stop him, he stepped casually in front of the three girls. The surfer guy appeared to have saved his main target for last since he started with Maekawa-san. If he didn’t see the real Maekawa-san beneath her crocodile costume, then he clearly lacks a keen eye. Anyway, I watched the scene with battered breath as I observed how she would react.

“Say, are you this guy’s girlfriend?”

“Huuuh?” “W-what’s that?!” It was Ryuushi-san who was standing next to her who had the most dramatic reaction.

Maybe triggered by her voice, Maekawa-san who had been zoning out until then, snapped to attention. I seized that occasion to make an O sign with my fingers behind the guy’s back. Quick to the uptake, Maekawa-san saw it in the corner of her eye and nodded.

“Yes, I am. We’re super lover-dovey.”

“Ueeeeh!”

Ryuushi-san was jumping so high she almost hit the ceiling, exposing our lie in an instant. That’s just what a natural airhead unable to add 2 and 2 together will do! Well, in that case let’s resort to brute force. I slipped past the surfer guy and grabbed the hands of all three girls at once. And I then came face to face with the surfer guy.

“Anyway, they’re all mine, and I won’t give them away. If you’re starved for female company, you can go and comfort the clam-digging youkai that comes by the beach. That will be all; we’ll now have our lunch here.”

After making this proclamation in a rush, I pulled out a chair from under a nearby table. “There, take a seat.” “W-w-what did you mean by that, Niwa-kun?!” “Nothing, it was just a lie,” “Eeeh! Why would you say that kind of lieeeee!” “Yup, yup, let’s sit down for now,” Ah, how hectic. Was I a nanny or something?

I managed to get us all seated after calming down the agitated Ryuushi-san. Finally, with a moment to look around, I observed the simple interior. The surfer guy didn’t appear to have given up and was still watching us. I ignored him. Sitting next to me, Erio was also hiding her face behind the cardboard menu to block out his gaze.

Still, shade or no shade, it was sweltering. It felt as if the sunlight hitting the floor had sprouted limbs and was stomping all around the place as an oppressive and unnecessary heat was washing all over us in waves.

Inside the shop sat a shovel with a sign that read “Why not bury a friend along with your memories?” Apparently, the rental was for free, but who would actually go through the trouble of burying a person? A body disposer, perhaps?

“Alright, what’s your order?”

The surfer guy came over to take our order with a large grin. Ignoring his smile, I recalled Ooi-san and her family and ordered, “Yakisoba”. The other three followed suit with “Then, a yakisoba too”. Ryuushi-san was the only one to add “with a large portion of cabbage” even though the portion of cabbage usually outweighed that of the noodles anyway. The surfer guy took our orders in high spirits and flashed an overly intense and beaming smile at Erio and Ryuushi-san. Erio hid her face again while Ryuushi-san didn’t even seem to notice his gaze.

She glared at me with a “Uuuh uuh” as if to bite. Feeling embarrassed, I looked away and noticed a change among the patrons in the shop: Ooi-san’s family was gone.

“Niwa-kun, you idioooot. You’re the kind of person who’d take Ryuuko-san’s heart for granted, aren’t youuuu?”

“W-what are you talking about?”

“If I hadn’t done my warm-up exercises, I might have had a heart attack, honestlyyy.”

She pouted with huffs and puffs. I took my eyes off her and abruptly changed the subject.

“Once we’ve eaten our yakisoba, what should we do?”

As I asked that question after the surfer guy walked away, Ryuushi-san furrowed her brows and thoughtfully hummed, “Hmmm”. In the meanwhile, Erio was cupping her glass with both hands and, with an expressionless face, suggested:

“A race in the sea.”

“All of us?”

“’Kay”.

“Splash-splash, Ryuuko-san. Kyaa kyaa, I’m now at the speed of sound, Niwa-kun. So he caught up with meeee? Gwahahahaaaaa, splashy-splash… Hummmm, I have a feeling this is going to be surprisingly passionate. Looks like fun.”

“No, no, don’t get any ideas that feel like a desperate attempt to boost the ratings of a shounen manga.”

“But if I start splashing a whatchamacallit-wave, your face will get all smushed, Niwa-kun, riiiight? Besides, Ryuuko-san is, how should I say this? An adult.”

interjected Ryuushi-san, calling out the blatant lie. Sensing the negative reception to her suggestion, Erio crossed her arms and grunted, “Mmm”. I wonder what would constitute the perfect way to liven up things at a summer beach.

“Then, a sand tossing contest?”

“Can’t you get away from the idea of throwing stuff at people?”

“Hey, hey, you youngsters. Why not lend an old man an ear for a bit?”

A raspy voice called out to us right as we were hurling our heads together. Our attention, which had been focused on our table, drifted away as if following the grain of the wood. We slowly looked up.

“You guys seem to have a lot of energy and youth to burn, so I’d like for you to try some chanbara.”

Standing there was an elderly man whose appearance matched the hoarseness of his voice. With the sun on his back, it was difficult to make out his face and clothes. He looked like a silhouette burnt by the sunlight. Before my eyes could adjust, one of us reacted:

“Ah!”

Erio sprung from her chair with a cry of surprise that was completely out of character for her. The gazes of the other customers, the surfer guy, and the middle-aged woman at the counter all converged on Erio. Oblivious to the attention, she kept her eyes focused on the elderly man.

“Oh, if it’s not that alien imitator?”

The old man squinted as he calmly responded to her shock. Ryuushi-san and I exchanged glances. We shook our heads to signal something, but we had no idea what. We then looked at Maekawa-san. She wasn’t watching us or Erio and was instead staring intently at something the elderly man was holding. As his position slightly shifted, the shadow cast by the light over the elderly man was lifted. His full figure was laid bare.

The first impression was rather plain and lacklustre, not the kind of person you’d expect Erio to know. He wore a hat that looked like a layer of clothes thrown haphazardly on his head, as well as an aloha shirt. Although it was the first time I saw a grey aloha shirt. He also wore dull-coloured shorts and rubber sandals. There wasn’t a single trace about him that was alien.

In his hand, he was clutching a rod-like object that seemed too flimsy to use as a walking stick… a katana made with a blue cloth?

“I was wondering how you were doing, but you look lively enough. Is that your friend? Boyfriend? Girlfriend?”

He pointed his katana at Maekawa-san, then me, then Ryuushi-san. Erio honestly and vigorously shook her head three times. As we looked at her, she hesitantly explained what her relationship with that elderly man was. As she spoke, her gaze drifted past him to fix on the sea instead.

“When I was floating on the sea, he was the first to find me.”

S-so that person is… For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. The elderly man nodded in agreement. “Oh, oh!” His face took on a profoundly nostalgic expression as he recalled the past, while in contrast, Erio’s face turned sombre. I couldn’t tell whether he noticed it and chose to ignore it, but he simply told us the reason for him talking to us in a cheerful tone:

“Anyway, how about some chanbara? Let us celebrate this chance encounter, this astronomically low odd, with a little chanbara. Young people + summer + sea + chanbara. With that, even if the summer has been nothing but a string of bad luck, it will probably even things out, right? I’ll lend you the gear for free.”

“Chanbara? With this?”

I pointed at the katana the old man was holding. He nodded happily, “Yup, yup”.

“We’re holding a sports chanbara event here tomorrow; why not participate? There’s a price for the winner. Are you coming back to the beach tomorrow? Weeell, I’m sure you will.”

As he made his pitch, he held out the sports katana. On a whim, I grabbed it. The blade seemed to be about sixty centimetres long. I firmly gripped the hilt and swung it to give it a try. It didn't give me any feeling of nostalgia, probably because chanbara wasn’t a trend when I was a kid. Back then, it was the peak of hand-base.

On the other hand, some people did feel that nostalgia.

“Sports chanbaraaaa, brings back memoriiiiies.”

Ryuushi-san leaned in from the side and poked at the blue air-filled blade with her finger. Her finger easily made a dent in the blade. It reminded me of when I poked Ryuushi-san’s cheek.

I looked to the side and noticed a flyer for the old man’s event posted on one of the shack's pillars. It looked like a printed copy of a handwritten original, and the paper filled with crooked characters reminded me of the handouts we used in elementary school.

“Ryuushi-san, you’ve done it before?”

“Yeah, I did some occasionally in PE classes in elementary school. And I told ya I’m Ryuuko. Niwa-kun, you never did any?”

“Humm, no, I didn’t. We did have kendo in middle school, though.”

During the winter we would wear mouldy protective gear over our tracksuits and swing a bamboo sword… Every time we would slide our feet, it would hurt like hell because we were barefooted. Besides, it appears that she naturally slips “yacchuuni” in her conversations. What a pitiful person. For some reason this is what I think of her. I felt that if I started to call her “Ryuuko-san” the pleasant atmosphere between us would change for the worse.

Besides, isn’t “yachuuni” the very kind of individuality that Ryuushi-san craved for? Even though she herself was reluctant to admit it.

“Yeees! Yeees! I’ll also do it!”

Meme-san had appeared behind us before we knew it and rose her hand while hopping up and down. Even when she’s feeling down, it appears that her knack for popping out of nowhere remained unchanged. And she gets unnaturally energetic once in the shade.

“Oh? So that aunty… er, I mean this young lady wants to join too?”

Even for a sales pitch, that was quite a stretch, old man. His throat muscles were straining. They seemed to know each other. “Thank you for last year,” said Meme-san with a bow. “Oh, oh.” The old man nodded magnanimously.

“There, Meme-chin wants to participate too.”

“Why are you telling me this? I don’t really care, you know.”

But didn’t she say that she would melt in the Sun?

“Fuu fuu, in my childhood, I used to be called the Heisei era Vagabond.”

“Meme-san, when you were a child, that wasn’t serialised yet.”

“Oooh, Mako-kun, you’re always so nitpicky.”

She gave me a playful jab in the ribs. Pointing out that she was actually born in the Showa era would be pointless. Such an inconvenient fact would never reach Meme-san’s ears. After all, she’s the kind of person who’d answer the phone by shamelessly declaring, “Yes, hello, this is Meme-tan, twenty years old”. “Hello” my foot! The only “hello” she’s answering to is the “hello?” inside her head.

“Alright, the aunty… I mean, the young lady is joining too, five participations in one go. That’s great.”

The elderly man’s face broke into a grin as he jotted the number of participants in his notebook, as if he suddenly acquired new toys for a collection. Before I could even object to the fact that we hadn’t even agreed to join yet, he laid down five flyers with the meeting time and place and handed us to sports chanbara katanas, “Here you go”. And then with a cheerful “See you tomorrow,” he let the beach shack, conveniently ignoring the fact that he hadn’t confirmed our participation.

We gave a polite nod towards the elderly man, and Erio and Meme-san deeply bowed. I wondered if I should also bow, but as I hesitated, he wandered off towards the beach. He was apparently trying to recruit more people by thrusting flyers at a group of youngsters walking across the sand. Hold an event, draw a crowd, and rack up some profits in the beach shack… I guess that was his plan.

“Are we all going to participate tomorrow?”

It looked like Maekawa-san would collapse “Waaah” just from raising a sword and shouting “Yaaah”. Meme-san raised her hand, “Yeees! Yeees!”, while Erio just nodded, “Kay”. Ryuushi-san added, “I love that kind of thing; I’m all for iiiiit”. Maekawa-san said, “Weeeell, I’ll try”. She seemed indifferent to the whole thing.

“And you Niwa-kun?”

“Humm… If you’re all going, I guess I will too.”

“Alright, everyone, we’ll all target Mako-kun.”

“I’ll tell your brother that his younger sister is bullying me.”

Good grief. Guess I allowed myself to be swept along. Nothing new there. Besides, boys do like chanbara. Just gripping a flimsy toy is enough to make their heart race.

The yakisoba quickly arrived after that. Considering the speed with which it arrived, it was probably a pre-cooked batch reheated before we even ordered. The surfer guy grinned, “Sorry for the delay,” and set down four plates. Among them, the plate placed in front of Ryuushi-san was clearly a different kind of dish.

“Whoah! There’s really a lot of cabbaaaage.”

Ryuushi-san looked at the plate piled high with cabbage and reacted with an expression that made it difficult to tell if it was deep emotion or amazement.

“I mean, isn’t that just cabbage stir-fried in sauce?”

“Ryuushi or something, do you like vegetables?”

asked Erio, peering at Ryuushi-san’s face. Ryuushi-san looked a bit flustered as she was talked to but recited her usual line. On a side note, Meme-san had once again vanished from the beach shack without a word. She was probably out on the sand carrying her parasol and scuttling sideways like a crab.

“I told ya, I’m Ryuuko. I like them, so what?”

“There, take mine.”

Erio picked up the cabbage from her plate with chopsticks and deftly transferred it onto Ryuushi-san’s. Ryuushi-san had an ambivalent expression, partly because of the extra cabbage, partly because of Erio’s hand-me-downs. She glanced at me, and we exchanged a smile with a unique and unspoken rapport.

“T-thank youuuu.”

“’Kay”.

Erio looked rather pleased with herself. Even though the amount of yakisoba in her own plate had been cut in half.

Maekawa-san sat in a daze, moving her chopsticks mechanically, her gaze unfocused and not really on her plate as she lifted the noodles and pieces of fried cabbage to her mouth. The red of her face had barely subsided, and she wasn’t sweating. I wonder if she’s really fine.

Once we finished our meal in that awkward atmosphere, we paid the bill in a hurry as if to escape from the surfer guy and headed for the beach. It was troubling not to have Meme-san around in a crucial situation like this. I couldn’t make use of the situation by foisting Meme-san on the surfer guy to cover our escape.

Maekawa-san sat in a daze, moving her chopsticks mechanically, her gaze unfocused and not really on her plate as she lifted the noodles and pieces of fried cabbage to her mouth.

But panicking like that was a mistake. My fears were about to become a reality.

I think she probably reached her limit a while ago.

The moment we stepped on the beach and the sunlight streamed into the crocodile’s gaping maw, Maekawa-san let out a low groan, “Aaawww,” and began to collapse. Thankfully, I had been standing right behind her, anticipating her fall. I caught Maekawa-san’s back as she tipped over. I dug my fingers in the sand and braced myself to receive her full weight, but Maekawa-san was a lot lighter than I expected, and I almost shoved her forward by mistake. I hurried to grab her arms and pull her back.

“Wah wah wha, Maekawa-san looks like a boiled octopus. Even though she’s a crocodiiiile!”

Ryuushi-san checked in her crocodile suit with an expression of alarm. I took a look myself. Ah, that was bad.

“We need to get her back to her room.”

She was dizzy and groaning, “Uhh uhh,” in distress. She had fainted during the principal’s long speech too at the end-of-term ceremony, but this time was a bit better. At that time, she had just toppled over, unable to break her fall, and people around her had been horrified. And then, two members of the health committee had taken her to the infirmary, one supporting her head, the other her legs.

“Should I help carry her?”

Erio tilted her head as she lifted one of Maekawa-san’s legs. Waaah, looking at them up close like that, she really had some long legs. No wonder she brags about her model-like figure and the compliments she gets at the hairdresser or that she gets others to say the same.

“No, it's fine; I can carry her on my own. You girls can go enjoy the summer beach to your fill.”

She was light enough that I could easily carry her on my back. Whoops. Her crocodile suit made it a bit awkward, but I managed to stabilise her by slipping my arms under her thighs. The crocodile’s lower jaw cast a shadow over my head.

“I think we should come along toooo.”

“Aah… I’m fine. No need to make a big fuss about it. It happens all the time.”

Maekawa-san managed to squeeze out these words to Ryuushi-san from deep within her crocodile costume. “You sure?” asked Ryuushi-san with a worried expression, but she ended up convinced once Maekawa-san and the crocodile bobbed their heads up and down vigorously.

“Then, I’ll do as he said and enjoy the beach to my fill… Hummmmm, to my fill? How do you enjoy things to the full?”

Ryuushi-san clutched her head in thought. Indeed, I myself had no idea what to do at the beach either. A bit self-concious about sharing such worries, I ran off towards the ryokan.

“I’m sorry, transfer student.”

Her words of gratitude were said in a slurry and gooey voice as if they were melting from the heat. “You’re welcome,” I replied, and added, “But I feel this is going to become a regular thing”. Maekawa-san collapses; I save her. Give it enough time, and it could become a classic routine. Maekawa-san let her body go limp, as if her tension had melted away, so I readjusted her weight on my back and set off, kicking the sand as I advanced in long and brisk strides.

From an exterior perspective, this looks more like I’m a poacher than a kidnapper, I thought with a sigh.

The room where Maekawa-san’s family was staying was stiflingly hot, but her parents were nowhere to be seen. I thought about setting up a futon… ah, she won’t need one. Standing in the centre of the room under the unlit lamp, I lowered Maekawa-san from my back. Once I laid her down and turned on the AC, I told her, “You you need an ice pack?” Her flushed face shook weakly from side to side, her eyes closed. But she looked really pitiful. I felt I should at least put a wet towel on her forehead. So I stepped into the corridor, closing the door behind me. I ran towards the lobby. I wanted to inform Maekawa-san’s parents, but I had no idea how to contact them.

I explained the situation to a female staff member in the lobby who was sitting and massaging her feet out of boredom. “That’s awful.” Her answer was delivered in a flat and robotic tone that made me a bit worried, but she acted quickly. She filled an aluminium basin with cold water and gathered a few towels. She even took out a green electric fan from the back.

“Thank you, you’re very helpful.”

“Please come visit our ryokan again next year.”

She delivered that sales pitch with a deadpan expression. I took the basin; she took the fan, and we carried the supplies to the room.

She made no mention of the bright red crocodile that was lying on its back and simply plugged in the fan and left. But a few seconds after setting into the hallway, she came back.

Peeking half her face through the opened door, she grinned.

“If it’s a heatstroke… you’d better take off her clothes, or rather, that costume.”

Having delivered that parting recommendation she finally left… I guess I should be grateful she didn’t say something like “Looks like you had some fun last night,” which would have made the situation a lot more awkward. Still, well, her advice was sound.

The AC wasn’t doing much, just blowing out lukewarm air. Though it did make a racket clak clak clak. I set the electric fan to medium and aimed it at Maekawa-san. Feeling the breeze on her cheeks, she opened her eyes maybe because it tickled. Her gaze alternated between the fan and myself.

“… Transfer student, are you unexpectedly good at taking care of people?”

She mumbled, her flushed vermilion lips moving sluggishly. As I thought about Erio I responded, “Perhaps”. I soaked the towel in the cold water of the basin and wrung it out. Having shed the excess of moisture, I placed it on Maekawa-san’s forehead. I carefully moved aside the crocodile’s mouth and the hair covering her brows. Gosh, what a strangely complicated process this was.

“Uh… It’s wet…”

Maekawa-san’s tense expression went slack. As she relaxed, her unfocused eyes began to clear up. But she really is the type that doesn’t sweat much; no wonder the heat just built up in her.

The towel was placed, and the old-fashioned fan was running. The AC was also going clak clak clak. Now, what is left is… the crocodile, I guess? I sat beside Maekawa-san and pointed at her head.

“I was told it would be better to remove the crocodile suit. And how is your anaemia doing?”

Maekawa-san shook her head vigorously from side to side. Whether it was a forceful motion of renewed energy or sheer seriousness, I couldn’t tell. After that, she slightly nodded in response to the second question. Hummm, I did indeed feel a momentary thrill at the thought of undressing a girl(?) but since it was just a crocodile costume, it was probably no different than dealing with Erio’s futon. But why was she so opposed to it? And was it alright for her to shake her head like that?

“Don’t tell me you aren’t wearing anything under it?”

Maekawa-san froze and held her breath as she stared at the ceiling. After a few seconds, she shook her head vigorously from side to side. In that case, it should be fine for me to remove her clothes, right? No, it’s not that I wanted to undress her; rather, it’s all out of consideration for Maekawa-san… or so I’d like to believe.

“Maekawa-san, should I try to find your parents and bring them over? Ah, wouldn’t it be faster to call them on their mobile phone?”

Maekawa-san shook her head again. Her head bobbed back and forth like one of those papier-mâché tiger toys. As I asked, “Why?” I adjusted the towel on her forehead which had slipped out from her movements. Maekawa-san’s eyes darted to the side.

“If my parents find out about this, they’ll get mad at me and say ‘You’ve dressed up in something stupid again’.”

“… Ha ha.”

“That’s not something to laugh at, transfer student.”

“No, I mean, Maekawa-san, I just realised you had a childish side too.”

Among the girl trio (can I call it that way?) with Erio and Ryuushi-san, she was the most mature. Both in appearance and personality. That such a person would show some small vulnerabilities was heartwarming, and I held a certain fondness for them.

And children filled with flaws come to feel a sense of affinity towards those they perceive as adults.

“… As I said, that’s nothing to laugh about.”

grumbled Maekawa-san, her voice uncertain as if muttering in her sleep. She was an adorable crocodile.

“But if I can’t contact your parents, then I’m the one who’ll have to remove that crocodile suit, right?”

As I tentatively asked, she didn’t shake or nod her head. She simply lowered her eyelids and let the breeze from the fan and AC wash over her body, her redness fading a bit. Taking this as consent, I peeled off her crocodile skin (a misleading expression) with a loud “riiip”… She had no clothes under it. Or to be more precise, under her crocodile costume, she wasn’t wearing her clothes but a tight-fitting swimsuit. A standard school swimsuit.

I see, so she did bring a swimsuit after all?… But why the crocodile suit? What a waste.

“I wish you wouldn’t stare at me so hard…”

Maekawa-san closed her eyes and pouted her lips with a look of reproach. Probably because she was feeling weak, she wasn’t being her usual self, and her childish side was coming to the surface. I find that Maekawa-san to be quite charming too.

“”You feel embarrassed, but… weren’t you more embarrassed by the crocodile suit?”

“Why should I be?”

“Err, why? Hum… Ah, maybe you don’t like swimming suits? But then you wouldn’t wear one.”

“… Swimming suits are embarrassing. The amount of skin exposed isn’t much different from underwear.”

As she twisted her body and tugged at the swimsuit fabric, Maekawa-san explained shyly why she was reluctant to take the crocodile suit off. In that case, could that fresh flush on her cheeks come from something else than just the heat?

“……”

“W-what? You’re all quiet.”

“Nothing. Maekawa-san, I think you’re cute in unexpected ways.”

“Pff! Gah, Pff, Hoo, Hoo!”

Maekawa-san choked violently. It wasn’t a joke; she was genuinely struggling for breath, and I felt bad for my thoughtless remark. A wave of embarrassment then flushed over me too. I had casually told her that she was cute

Once her breathing settled, Maekawa-san turned her face away and fell silent. I also went through the routine of dipping the towel in cold water and wriggling it in silence while thinking, “This is troubling”.

A little later, Maekawa-san’s parents came back, and I handed my nurse duties to them. In the process, they discovered her heatstroke but appeared to be holding back on lecturing her, probably because I was still here.

“Are you going back to Ryuushi and the others?”

“I intend to. Once you feel better and come back with us, don’t forget to take a parasol, ok?”

“… kay.”

Feeling the weight of Maekawa-san’s gaze, who seemed like he had something to say, I took my escape. As I stepped into the corridor, I was immediately struck by a sudden shift in temperature, but I simply muttered, “huum,” as I rubbed my chin.

Maekawa-san was cute when embarrassed, but figuring out how to trigger her shyness was difficult to understand.

It’s like digging for a buried treasure, I thought.

“Wwiiiiin, bom bom!”

“Gyuuuun, fon fon, zuiiiiin!”

When I returned to the beach, Erio and Ryuushi-san were duelling. With sports chanbara katanas.

They were running all over the sand swinging their katanas wildly and making sound effects with every strike. It looked like they were both having a blast, so it was fine I guess, but weren’t they worried about the gazes of the people around?

Ryuushi-san the adult instead of just splashing water around, plays like this? Heeeh.

A crowd of girls kept a wary distance with polite smiles that were slightly strained. But not everyone had distanced themselves, and some were hovering kind of halfway. Well, to put it bluntly, the guys.

It would be rare for a guy to not pay any attention to two beautiful girls in swimsuits jumping all around like that. It was hard to approach them due to them moving all around so energetically, but Erio in particular, with her flashy colours, was drawing the crowd’s gazes. They themselves were completely oblivious to it as they were having a blast shouting, “Gyuuuwin, gah gah gah!”

Attention and enthusiasm. Between these two factors, I found it a bit awkward to join them. But the battle itself wasn’t exactly impressive. Instead of Ganryuu Island, it reminded me of puppies rough-housing.

“… Oh?”

Sitting on the breakwater, half-buried in sand, was the sports chanbara old man. He was perched on a block of concrete, his sword resting on his shoulder, watching Erio’s frenetic movements… The old man who had found Erio, huh? Since I couldn’t easily approach Ryuushi-san and Erio, I naturally headed towards the old man instead.

I climbed over the breakwater covered in sand, which had long lost its function as a barrier, and sat next to the sports chanbara old man. Noticing the shadow I was casting, the elderly man turned his face in my direction. When he laughed, I noticed he was missing a front tooth. After a preamble “Oh oh oh!” that sounded like the barking of a sea lion, he added, “Well, if it isn’t the young lady-killer?” His voice was low and raspy like sand rubbed against skin.

As if his throat were as parched and dried as his skin.

“How’s the colour?”

His question was far too cryptic. I instinctively looked at my limbs to check my skin tone. My body was covered in yellowish skin that hadn’t tanned much ever after a full summer.

“Looks like it hasn’t quite settled.”

“I see, you’re a good kid.”

We weren’t having a proper conversation. Well, I wasn’t sure my own answer made much sense either.

“How admirable of you to listen to the ramblings of a geezer.”

Oh, so that’s what he meant? I thought it was pretty normal, though. Even Meme-san was serious when dealing with Tamura grandma.

Speaking about Meme-san, I looked back with a certain melancholy as she scurried across the edge of my vision. The self-proclaimed Heisei era Vagabond was once again carrying her parasol some distance away from the girl’s duel, as if she were living in seclusion. She might as well just stare at the stones at her feet while pondering about philosophical questions.

Perhaps sensing my presence with that supernatural instinct of hers, she kept shooting glances my way. If I were to decipher the message in those looks, it would translate to something like: “Mako-kun is startled at the mere sight of a breast; let’s spark another revolution in his heart.” Ah, shut up! I pressed a hand to my forehead and sighed, “… Aaah.” The way that aunt of mine toyed with me was pathetic. What was wrong with me? Was I an idiot?… But her cleavage seen from above is quite devilish. Even at the age of forty, she was a powerful drug for youth.

“It helps a lot that you folks are participating; it will keep things lively this year. Earlier, a young family also said that they would be participating.”

“Ah!” Could it be Ooi-san’s family?

“Anyway, what’s your relationship with that girl?”

The sports chanbara old man studied my face while pointing his katana at Erio. She had just parried a strike from Ryuushi-san with her bare left hand and was launching a counter-attack. From the sidelines, it looked like intense action, but since the swords were soft, Ryuushi-san took almost no damage and launched a fierce counter-attack of her own. By the way, did the rules allow knocking a sword away with a bare hand?

“This is allowed only once per match… I’m pretty sure.”

muttered the old man as if reading my mind. Heh, is that so? I wonder if the matches will have proper referees to make decisions. Whenever amateurs played sports chanbara, my general impression was that the real winner was the one having the most fun.

Still, it was surprising to see Erio, the ultimate indoor type, be on equal footing with Ryuushi-san. She might even have more stamina than I do. Did she work out before becoming a Smakin?… I can’t picture it.

“Errr, I’m her cousin.”

I hesitated for a moment but decided to be honest. The sports chanbara old man narrowed his eyes with wrinkles.

“You’re that girl’s cousin? Hoh hoh. In that case, you’re not an alien.”

He slumped his shoulders dramatically as if making a joke. As he moved, he kicked up the sand that was buried in the beach. His slender, partially buried feet were cast on his own shadow, creating a strange tableau where his toes seemed to be crumbling away like the sand in the wind.

“Well, from an Earthling’s perspective, I guess I’m not an alien… But Erio is told by all sorts of people that she’s alien-like.”

“’Like’ is the key word. No matter how much she tries to act, she’s a fake.”

grumbled the old man as he jutted his lower lip. The fake Erio was currently trying to escape Ryuushi-san’s “Zu ba ba ba ba!” barrage of blows (the name I made up for it), whose sound, cutting through the air, could be heard even before they landed. She was dating about with a ninja-style run with the sound effect “Shu ta ta ta!” Shouldn’t that sound effect rather be “Su te te te”? I thought, criticising a mere detail, before chuckling at the sight these two offered. Come to think of it, their mental ages matched… Ah, right, they’re the same age to begin with.

“How nice to see that girl looking so lively. Her name was Touwa Eeiko, right?

“It’s Erio.”

“Right, Erio.”

Even as I corrected him, he narrowed his eyes with the expression of fondness of a grandfather looking at his grandchild. Without looking at the old man or Erio, staring at the horizon in the distance, I opened my mouth:

“… When you found Erio at sea, what was the situation like?”

“Oh, you wanted to hear about that?”

The old man grasped the reason why I sat next to him. He gave a slight nod and let out an “Um um” sound as he thoughtfully tried to recall the past. He pressed the hilt of his katana against his forehead and closed his eyes.

“That girl, huh? Yeaaah, she was just floating there in the winter sea, without a warning. So I fished her out and took her home. That’s about it. Apparently, a missing person report had been filed, so the police pestered me with questions, quite the hassle. They probably suspected me of being involved in some kind of crime.”

The old man’s features scrunched up towards the centre of his face, probably recalling the interrogation. I studied his profile in silence, waiting for him to continue his story.

“I don’t know the details either. I just happened to find her as I was cleaning up the beach. Well, I’ve been around that sea longer than anyone else, so it was maybe inevitable that I was the one to find her.”

“… I see.”

“But anyway, why not ask her directly?”

He pointed at Erio. Having escaped the barrage of blows, Erio found her upper arm repeatedly hit “Zakiiin zakiin” from Ryuushi-san’s sports chanbara katana as if it were a lightsabre. Erio didn’t back down and struck right back at Ryuushi-san. The bystanders kept their distance, but their gazes had changed. They were now looking at these two with an amused and heat-warming expression.

The old man watched their playful scuffle with a delighted and gentle smile. His expression looked like he was thinking that they would serve as great publicity for tomorrow’s sports chanbara tournament.

“She apparently doesn’t remember anything.”

I carried on the conversation. The elderly man’s smile took on a lower quality.

“Apparently. She looked extremely confused when I haled her up onto land.”

That confusion was what created that alien theory and Smakin on our first meeting. The alien part was shattered, literally, by the impact of diving into the sea on a bicycle, but the Smakin was still going strong. In fact, it became a deeply ingrained form of self-defence. Well, I guess one could think of it as personal fashion… maybe?

“When I first saw her, I thought an alien had really fallen from the sky, botched her landing, and ended up floating on the sea.”

“……”

“But well, the moment I started wondering if an alien would wear a school uniform, the dream vanished.”

The old man shrugged. He then swung his katana sharply through the air. There was no sound of the wind being cut. His movement was so subtle that if I hadn’t been tracking it with my eyes I wouldn’t have noticed it.

“So I figured that girl wasn’t an alien or anything; I just saw a high school girl who looked like she was drowning, so I rushed to save her. Weeell, the seawater was so cold I thought I was a goner. I felt like I was ascending to heaven.”

The old man concluded cheerfully with, “Ha ha ha!” Why do old folks love to crack such extreme self-deprecating jokes? I guess that when people age, they encounter more and more situations where laughing it off is the only option. Still, our information exchange hadn’t been quite fruitful.

I mean, if the old man actually knew the details, Erio wouldn’t have needed to go through her Smakin phase. Well, it’s not as if knowing the details of the matter would have done me any good… Yup.

In this world entirely populated by Earthlings, there might be no one able to unravel the mystery that is Erio.

“But you know, young man. Coming to the beach with a cute high school girl. I’m jealous.”

What an honest old man. His voice went up an octave with envy, followed by a long wistful sigh, “haaaa”. His reaction was no different from a high schooler. I had learnt from Meme-san that people’s core never changed, no matter how much they aged.

“But there are some guys that make me more jealous than that. They make me a lot more envious.”

The old man flashed another gap-toothed grin. Something he envied more than a beach trip with a high school girl? This and that crossed my mind, but from the perspective of a young man in the prime of his youth, they were out of the question. Since we all attach to youth something indescribable, it was only natural that it be lost once taking on a concrete form.

“Who are you envious of?”

I was curious about what could bring an even better result than the combination of girls and beach, so I decided to ask. The elderly man shifted his position on the embankment and gazed into the distant space between sky and sea as he blurted out:

“Aliens.”

“Hah?”

“You see, I want to meet an alien.”

“… Haaa”

How odd. Even after leaving that town, the topic of aliens kept following me around. Was it due to someone’s influence? I almost slipped out the words, “Oh really?” but I held my tongue. This time it was not old man = self-proclaimed alien, so I shall refrain.

“If you’re out in space, it’s easier to meet aliens, right? That’s why I’m jealous.”

The old man spoke of his envy for aliens as he grinned up the sky. His face brimming with dreams, which made him look ten years younger, reminded me of the expression Erio wore when she gazed at the distant stars through her telescope… though the harsh reality remained that he was an old man. No sugar-coating it.

“I have a personal theory that in life the truly wonderful things are found by coincidence.”

And yet that old man had every right to speak about his own dreams. As if to assert that fact, he simply spoke in an optimistic tone.

“So ever since I was young, I’ve been wondering what the greatest coincidence could be on this planet. My conclusion is that it would be meeting someone from beyond the sky. That was decades ago when I read a manga with Martians that looked like eight-legged octopuses.”

“… What could have prompted that?”

“A chance encounter with an alien. Which is the most wonderful between the encounter itself and the alien, I wonder?”

It wasn’t unpleasant to hear, but I wondered if he was actually happy with that. Well, it didn’t matter.

As long as he was happy with this, that was enough.

“But travelling the world to search for them is a hassle, so I just hope an alien will end up wandering to this sea so we can run into one another. The odds of two specific Earthlings meeting are already incredibly low as they are, so I don’t think it’s that ridiculous to expect a visit from an alien.

The elder spoke with an expression of absolute finality. His assertion brooked no argument and merely sought to confront. Such gravitas came from having kept at it for decades.

If Erio had carried on her role as an alien from April onwards, for years or even decades, maybe her radio waves would have gained that kind of depth. But would it have brought her fulfilment? I can only leave it to others to decide.

“But doing absolutely nothing is boring, so I thought I would liven up things around the beach by hosting an event every year.”

“Why sports chanbara?”

“It’s just my hobby. Back when I was a kid, we were all doing chanbara, it was the thing to do.”

The chanbara old man laughed, “Kah kah kah,” while clutching his belly. She was smiling as he reminisced about the past, I guess?

“Anyway, after coming all the way to Japan, some with hope seeing some chanbara or samurai.”

That was the kind of thing that would delight people from across the ocean, not across the stars… What’s with that?

Erio, still young, had once sought aliens as a way of turning her back on the world.

But this old man with little time left in his life was wishing for an alien to visit him with straightforward optimism.

That contrast stirred deep in me and gave me shivers. The clear blue sky, the sea tinged with a touch of green, and the beach-goers who seemed to be having a lacklustre time. It all felt precious.

Whenever I came into contact with someone’s innocent dreams, I’ve always felt that way.

“That’s why I always remain by this sea. Born and raised here, always.”

As he kept muttering “Always, always”, he ran his fingers along the blade of his katana.

“It’s a bit of a toss-up whether that ‘always’ means I will get to encounter an alien before I die, though.”

“Please stop the self-deprecating jokes.”

I gave a wry smile. A blue blade was suddenly thrust right in front of me. Instead of recoiling, I let my gaze slide along the blade until it rested on the hilt. The old man had that same gapped-tooth grin.

“Here, take it.”

He held the katana out to me as if it were a piece of candy. He had already given some to Ryuushi-san and the others earlier; I wonder where he picked them up from.

“Take it and go see these kids to have some good zgyan-dogan.

“… Alright. Well, I’ll take my leave then.”

“Yeah yeah, go. I’m counting on all of you to show up tomorrow.”

I took the katana from the wavering old man and hopped down on the concrete block. I planted my feet firmly into the sand evenly from toe to heel and stared out at the horizon. I then set off to met with the convergence of these two inevitabilities brought by coincidence… But coincidence, huh? This was quite interesting in itself.

By stacking enough coincidences, did the probability increase dramatically, or did it become inevitable? Did piling up 1% chances a hundred times elevate it to 100%? Coincidence and inevitability shifted drastically depending on how one looked at it.

And it depends on whether one was talking about the future or looking back to the past. Every event was a coincidence when viewed from the future but became an inevitability once it became the past. It was vague and indecisive. It could be interpreted many ways.

But that old man’s dream about aliens arriving on Earth → going to his hometown sea. What kind of astronomical coincidence and process would that actually require? Like having a gold bar fall from the ceiling while vaulting in PE class! That kind of coincidence. Aah, looks impossible, right?

“…But, one never know.”

As I said earlier, Destiny has a terrible sense of direction. She never moves as one would expect.

That was precisely why the “coincidences” she triggered were so interesting.

“Wuiiin, wuiiiin!”

“You seem to be in perfect form.”

“Hawayuuu!”

As I called Ryuushi-san from behind, who was waving her sword made of pure energy (in her imagination), she sprung like the spring of a jack-in-the-box. As expected from a basketball club member, she had impressive leaping ability.

She flailed in a panic. “Awa awa” her eyes and tongue wildly spinning. Her legs were thrashing sand around too. Come to think of it, her limbs were moving independently of one another; that was pretty dexterous. How amazing, Ryuushi-san.

“Oh, ‘tis thee, Niwa-kun!”

“It is I indeed.”

“Did, you s-see everythiiiing?”

“Just about every detail.”

“So you saw everythiiiing! So you heard the Wuiiin and the Foooon too?”

“And the bachichichichi and the gywoon and the shwiii too.”

“Gyaaa! A hole, a hole! Someone did a hole for Ryuuko-san to crawl in!”

Ryuushi-san writhed in embarrassment and shouted in every direction. Like Maekawa-san, why was it that my heart would race whenever a girl’s embarrassment was laid bare? It’s even more mysterious than the fact that water exists as O.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooneeeeer! If you were watching, couldn’t you have at least dug a hole for Ryuuko-saaaaaan?! Niwa-kun, you’re so meeeeean!”

Ryuushi-san, your logic is completely backwards and topsy-turvy.

“Well, I was right there, but you were so engrossed in whatever you were doing that I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“You’re telling a smooth lie without a full stop or a commaaaaa!”

Ryuushi-san ran off across the beach. Aaah, she runs away while still swinging her katana around. I must have witnessed Ryuushi-san run away while swinging her arms about once a month.

And I was the cause of all of it. Hummm, was I the bad guy here? Well, I was pretty awful back during the summer festival, but the other times it wasn’t really my fault… no, never mind the excuses, I should reflect on it.

Her opponent, Erio, stood there completely unperturbed. Her sword still in hand, she had watched the exchange between me and Ryuushi-san with an empty expression. Occasionally wiping her sweat away, it looked as if she were simply waiting for the chanbara to resume. She started trotting towards me. Hey, lower that katana! You’re going to poke my nose.

“Did you have fun doing chanbara?”

“Yeah.”

Hum, that was a “yeah” of satisfaction. I’ve been pretty good at distinguishing the nuances of her ultra-short responses lately. Though, to be honest, anyone could have understood just by watching her doing chanbara.

Leaving aside the question of how this turned into chanbara.

“Cousin, you also want to do it?”

She tapped her katana repeatedly against the kodachi I had borrowed from the old man. She looked restless as if she hadn't played out her fill yet. Maybe playing with a girl her age had been a good stimulus for her. I analysed the situation as her guardian, twisting my wrist and effortlessly deflecting the katana she had swung at me.

“Hummm… fon fon fon.”

More than that, I was focused on her beads of sweat shimmering like particles of light bouncing off her radiant skin. That kind of healthy sweat was nice. Not the scent or anything, just that it was beautiful.

Ah, Ryuushi-san was coming back after making a turn in front of the beach shack. She was sprinting just the way she left. Her running style gave me a strange sense of admiration for her sports-orientated physique in spite of her chubby cheeks.

By the way, even her breasts, bouncing up and down with no protection, were also sports-orientated! … Anyway.

“Good kid diary. Today I was humiliated by Niwa-kun at the beach.”

“Please don’t leave a written record that could get me ostracised.”

In spite of what she was saying, Ryuushi-san looked calm, probably because she ran. Her expression was gentle too.

“Ah, by the way. Is Maekawa-san alright?”

“Yeah, she said that after a short rest she’ll be fully revived.”

“That’s something the Great Evil Demon King would say, riiight?”

If the Demon King was that frail, I doubt a hero would bother even come to defeat her. It would make for a peaceful world, though.

“So, why do you have a blade too, Niwa-kun?”

“Ah, I got this from the old man.”

When I turned around after saying this, the old man was already gone from the blocks of concrete of the embankment. Did he leave to try to recruit more people, hoping for a coincidental encounter with an alien tourist?

“Cousin, Ryuushi or something… want to chanbara?”

Erio swung her katana while standing between Ryuushi-san and me, tilting her head inquisitively.

“I told ya, I’m Ryuuko. Muuuh… Niwa-kun?”

After Erio’s, it was Ryuushi-san’s gaze that shifted towards me. I didn’t respond immediately to her attention and instead looked around the area. The beach was still crowded with people looking bored. A couple of guys were looking our way, or rather staring at Ryuushi-san and Erio, and girls were lying on the sand looking hot and lethargic.

And there were heads, heads, heads bobbing with the waves, their number showing no sign of decreasing.

Compared to those countless heads sprouting on the sea, chanbara on the sand would surely be less boring. And since I had received that katana for that very purpose, there was no other way to use it.

“… Ok, let’s do this.”

“’Kay”.

“A warming up for tomorrow’s event, huh? But I wonder how the winner is decided?”

As I said this, Erio stepped back, rose her katana, and with a smile said, “I won’t lose”.

No, I mean, what kind of duel were you having with Ryuushi-san? You were just aimlessly slashing at one another the whole time… Well, nevermind. If her mother, who was now a local crab, had seen her smile, she would have been sobbing uncontrollably.

“Yaaay, I can now completely trash the insolent Niwa-kun and Flower-kuuuun.”

Just as I was facing that radiant smile, she delivered her gruesome declaration with the brightest smile of the beach.

This declaration would bring an interstellar war to this peaceful seaside tomorrow… I can’t really imagine that happening. Even if her sound effects were impressive enough to give a near-future feel.

Thus…

To all the wonderful people I met against the odds.

Every time I swung my sword at them as they shouted, “Booon, booon!” it felt real.

This is indeed what I should have done at the beach, I thought.

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