Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Epilogue
I could just as well cram a love letter into a bottle and throw it into the sea: the bottle is unlikely to reach anyone at all, let alone the person it is meant for.
That is how exceedingly hopeless my love is.
He is already devoted to another girl, and if that wasn't enough, my best friend Hozumi-chan turned out to be my rival.
Honestly speaking, I think that this is the end of the road.
I don't want to give up, I really don't, but the situation is hopeless no matter how you look at it. I seriously feel that it's more likely that I will single-handedly conquer Nippon than that my love will be requited. I can't properly talk with boys, I'm nowhere near as pretty as Wakui-senpai or Hozumi-chan, I'm always elsewhere in mind, and I'm not even smart. I'm somewhat wealthy, sure, but that is not a quality of my own.
Right. I'm a no-one. Just a little squirt.
How could someone like me, who only ever tags along after Hozumi-chan, stab her in the back and wipe away Wakui-senpai's shadow that is hanging over him? That's like telling an outstripped runner to catch up with the top runners that are about to reach the finish line.
But as hopeless as the situation may be, my feelings for him are real.
I can say with confidence that I love him more than anyone else. Really. I'm certain that my feelings are stronger than those of Wakui-senpai and Hozumi-chan.
It was love at first sight. My mom might laugh at me and tell me that this isn't true love, but if the feelings that keep me awake and crying every night aren't real, then I'm sure that I myself must be one big lie.
I don't mind if he isn't mine all alone.
I'm happy if I can occasionally profit from tagging along behind Hozumi-chan by getting the chance to talk with him or to touch him from time to time.
May our everyday life stay like this; with a warm and cozy relationship between me, Hozumi-chan and Senpai.
If he pays some attention to me in the process, then I couldn't be happier. And if a miracle were to happen and we became more intimate, I would be able to die without any regrets.
I arrive at our classroom, and notice that there is a commotion. I'm curious what's going on, but I'm hesitant to talk to others without Hozumi-chan.
More importantly, I want to see Senpai. But it seems like Hozumi-chan's isn't here yet, even though she would normally arrive early at the classroom because she also wants to see him as soon as possible.
Has she overslept? She's a late riser, after all.
—Maybe I should just go ahead?
I fiercely shake my head at that thought. I'm not that bold! Ah, that boy over there saw me shaking my head. Ew... they'll think I'm an oddball at this rate....
But yes! I feel courageous today!
I only need to greet him. He always does that, too. Maybe I'll be able to engage him in a chat? About my middle school, maybe? About my sister? There are several possible topics. He's a good listener, so I'm sure we would have a lot of fun even with my poor rhetorics.
After hesitating for a moment, I put down my bag and leave the classroom.
I'm sorry, Hozumi-chan. I think I'll seize the moment.
But... you don't mind, do you? I'm not getting in your way, after all. Besides, I haven't told anyone about my feelings so that you don't blame yourself. So you don't mind, right?
After persuading myself like this, I go downstairs and head to Senpai's class. Having arrived there, I peek into his classroom while avoiding the obstinate glances of the other students.
I feel my blood rising to my face.
He's so handsome today. So incredibly handsome.
Upon noticing my glance, he approaches me and waves his hand to greet me. He even came out to the corridor for me! Even though I'm alone right now!
I think I'm going crazy! I feel like running away and hiding again.
"G-Good morning," I mutter with a downcast glance, even though I really want to greet him a smile. Ewww... silly, silly! He'll get fed up with me if I keep doing this!
"You're not with Hozumi-chan today...?"
"Ah... yes. She has not arrived yet."
I suddenly feel like having a fish bone stuck in my throat. No, that strange feeling is more like a whole fish.
But that uncomfortable feeling is wiped away with his next sentence.
"Yoshino-chan, can we talk in private?"
"Eh? Huh?!" I unwittingly rasp. "I-In private?"
I'm still dumbfounded when he draws closer to me to whisper into my ear. S-Senpai, don't come so close... i-it's embarrassing.
"...Because I noticed your feelings."
"Eh? EEH?!" I croak again and draw the attention of others on me. It's embarrassing, but I can't be bothered right now.
Oh my god... I want to cry. I can no longer be together with him. Even though I have wished for our relationship to stay that way just a few minutes ago!
I raise my face, determined to say something to somehow maintain the status quo. Not that I've come up with anything yet.
But seeing his face, I am now startled in a different sense.
He is extremely calm.
Why? He is not a person who would turn somebody down with such an expression. But then...? What's the meaning of that expression?
"C-Correct me if... I'm wrong, but... Ah! You might think that I'm babbling strange things, but... do my, um, feelings happen to be... not an annoyance to you...?"
I mustered approximately a lifetime's worth of courage to ask this question. I'm prepared to drop dead on the spot if I misunderstood him.
But he answers me with a smile.
"Of course they're not an annoyance. I feel honored!"
I can't believe it. I can't believe it!
If he's telling the truth, I can't help doubting if the earth is still rotating as it should be. The sun must have risen in the west today and it's going to set in the east.
But this clearly is reality.
He smiles gently, "So, Yoshino-chan? Can we talk in private now?"
"Y-Yes, of course."
After I say so, he clasps my hand and takes me somewhere.
Take me wherever you want. I don't care where we go as long as we're together.
I still feel the strange sensation from earlier, but I decide to not mind. I don't care if I've forgotten something, either. It all doesn't matter if I can be together with him.
He notices my fixed glance on him and gives me an absurdly beautiful smile.
As I feel the warmth of his hand, I pray:
Dear God, may my beloved senpai—
—may Reina Kamisu-senpai always be here.
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