On a Godless Planet:Volume1B Chapter 35
Chapter 35: Tri Formation[edit]
–Are two heads better than one when they’re both idiots?
●
Balancer tilted their screen in exasperation.
<It should not have taken more than some very basic thought to figure that out, so why did it take you 12 minutes, 30 seconds, 37- actually, forget precision here.>
“You were worried about me, weren’t you!? I can see it on your face! You were worried sick about me!”
<I considered just appearing in front of you if you completely gave up. Because it seems humans love to take the easy way out. It was all part of my master plan to forever have the upper hand over you for so graciously saving your rear end.>
“Really!? Well, too bad! Now you can never have the upper hand against me! But don’t get the wrong idea here. Some famous person in the past said heaven does not create one man above or below another man, but now we know I’m above you! Toooooooooooooooo bad! I wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!”
<D-damn this stupid human!!>
“Man, you’re lucky to have me. An AI doesn’t get much opportunity to use the emotion of anger, right? So consider this a test of that function. …Anyway, what do we do now?”
<Do about what?>
“About the terraforming. They’re over there working on it, right? Take me there too.”
<Eh? That’s not possible.>
“Not possible?”
Balancer just about parroted that back again by saying “yes, not possible”, but they stopped and answered the question instead.
<I cannot currently send you to the terraforming site in reality.>
●
“Explain.”
Balancer tilted their screen in response.
<Oh, have you not checked? Try opening a Revelation Board.>
The idiot waved his hand, but nothing appeared.
“Huh?”
He swung his hand a couple more times, but again nothing.
He waved both hands at once a few times, but still nothing.
“What’s going on?”
<It was updated to a new edition. The only way to make it appear the first time is to form a heart with your hands and say ‘Appear before me, my wuvly widdle scween’.>
“Appear before me, my wuvly widdle scween!!”
<I was only kidding.>
“How dare you! How dare you!!”
<I honestly didn’t expect you to do it. You must really trust me.>
“I just want to meet Senpai! I’ll die if I don’t see her once every day!”
<A highly unscientific claim.>
But it was not a bad response, so Balancer opened a Revelation Board.
<This is the status screen for you and Senpai-san. Look here at the partner setting.>
The idiot did so and Balancer explained what it meant.
<You still have her set as your partner.>
But…
<She has deactivated the partner setting from her side.>
●
<Listen, you no longer have someone to accept your worship, so you have no divine protections or spells. Reality is a blazing hot place with no real atmosphere, so if you travel there like this, you will die instantly.>
●
What did this mean?
…Why would Senpai deactivate our partner setting?
If I didn’t know something, that just meant I had to ask. So I turned to the screen.
“Why?”
<Maybe she finally noticed your general behavior.>
“S-stop! You’re just trying to damage my adorable mind!”
<You could not be creepier, but I suppose I can tell you one thing: you should know very well why she did this.>
“Ohh,” I said.
Yeah.
I could think of something that made sense.
“It’s me.”
<Normally, I would tell someone not to beat themselves up so much, but in a broad sense, that is exactly right.>
That really was the answer. Because…
“It must have hurt Senpai a lot when I died earlier.”
<It was more like each of your deaths stacked on top of each other and that one was the last straw. You might not remember them all, but she does.>
So…
“When she couldn’t protect me and she couldn’t have her way, did she start thinking she’s only getting in everyone’s way?”
She was Iwanaga-hime.
I returned to the table and flipped through the book on Shinto gods.
“Where is she? Huh? I…I…I…”
<This idiocy is painful to watch. You want page 31.>
“I knew that! I was just flipping to that page!”
I didn’t know a screen could give such a nasty look.
Anyway, I found the page and noticed something there.
“Lifespan.”
<I honestly think Omokane could have explained it better. But I imagine that was her talking big to protect Shinto.>
Probably so. But…
“I screwed up back there too, didn’t I?”
I meant about the Druaga duo.
●
“Senpai didn’t want that busty girl to be ‘granted death’. Since she’s the god of lifespans, she probably doesn’t like it when anyone chooses death like that. But I didn’t know that, so I decided to save the busty girl since I can be rolled back.”
However…
“Senpai must not have wanted me to die. I did exactly what she had hoped to stop and I was even proud of it. But to her, I might as well have been confirming that she has no power.”
That was wrong.
“I was so full of myself I forgot to think about how Senpai would see the situation. Isn’t that right, Balancer?”
<Eh? Oh, I was doing some self-maintenance, so I didn’t catch that. It sounded like you were starting on some kind of personal poem, so I checked out. Anyway, what did you want to know?>
“What!? Oh, I get it! You just want to hear it again, don’t you!? Well, if you insist! ‘Senpai – the very sound of that word is enough to give meaning to life and death. If only-’ ”
<That’s completely different from what you said before, idiot.>
“So you were listening! You should be more honest!”
<Anyway,> said the screen. <You should say all this to her. Saying it to me only diminishes it.>
I agreed 100%.
●
“Okay, I can’t go there, but what’s happening there? Are they all terraforming?”
<No, they have run into a bit of a problem.>
“C’mon, you’re exaggerating.”
<No,> said Balancer again. <With you gone, Senpai-san has automatically been eliminated from the process.>
“What do you mean?”
<Her divine protections can no longer defend the terraforming site, so that planet’s local spirits, such as the fire dragons, have begun to destroy it.>
“Then why isn’t everyone here?”
<They are fighting back. They were the outsourced fighting force for just that purpose, after all. But without a leader, they are gradually losing. In the worst case, all progress could be lost, Senpai-san could be removed from this duty, and she could be reverted to a virtual manifestation.>
“We can’t let that happen! But, um, what is Senpai doing?”
<She has apparently hidden inside that stone hut and is not responding. If I speculated why she is doing so, it might ensure that is in fact the reason, so please do not ask.>
“Wow,” I said. “I can’t believe this.”
That meant Senpai had given up.
●
Whenever I had died, she had trusted in me and tried again.
She trusted that she could eventually do it right once she was stronger.
But I got so full of myself I ruined all that.
And she wasn’t able to stop me or protect me.
So she probably decided to give up on it all.
●
“I’m going.”
I had made up my mind.
“I’m going there. To talk with Senpai and try it all again.”
<Can you do that?>
“Course I can! We had a misunderstanding, but only cause I was full of myself! If I had actually talked with her and seen things for what they really were, that wouldn’t have happened! Yes, she couldn’t protect me, but only cause she doesn’t have enough power yet! If her level was higher, she could’ve stopped me and protected me. That means our problem is a solvable one! The rest is about our feelings. I’ll apologize to her and tell her I want to be with her! It all has to start with that! And if she demands anything else of me, I’ll gladly offer up anything, even my body!”
<Pretty sure no one wants that.>
“Heyyyyyyyyy! It’s not like I have anything else to offer! I’ve got a little over 100,000 yen left over, but she’d never forgive me for such a paltry sum!”
<Fair point,> replied Balancer while gently lowering their screen a few times. That was apparently meant to be nodding. <I agree with you. If Senpai-san abandons her duties and is reverted to a virtual manifestation, the DC will have reason to send another inspector. I am sure she is aware of that.>
Balancer paused as if for a breath.
<But apparently this ape is just that important to her.>
“Heh hehhhh! Jealous!? Jealous!?”
But there was a problem.
“How do I keep myself from sizzling away into nothingness as soon as I arrive?”
<You can receive another god’s divine protection.>
“Hm?” I asked. The screen’s explanation sounded pretty dangerous to me. “Are you asking me to worship someone else? Cause that ain’t happening. First of all, I only worship big boobs. Second of all, even that’s limited to Senpai. I can’t worship anyone else. So what am I supposed to do?”
<That is why you will ask a god to use the one-way partner system.>
●
“One-way what what?”
<Even I am shocked to find you are too stupid to figure this out, but that is a system that allows the god to activate the partner setting and provide you with their authority without you doing anything in return.>
“That’s a thing?”
<It is. The authority belongs to the god, so as long as they approve of it, they can provide you the authority, no worship necessary. It helps if you worship them, of course, and that is why your approval is needed even if you are not making them your partner. Still, this should still give you enough of a divine protection to survive in reality.>
And…
<You must reconcile with Senpai-san and reestablish the partner system with her. And you must preserve the terraforming site. If you can do that, this can be written off as the standard trouble that always occurs during group projects.>
“So now I just have to search out a god that can instantly grant me a divine protection that lets me survive there.”
<That could be tricky,> said Balancer. <For a god to do that, they must be looking at you and you alone. No gods in this world currently have any believers, but once they do, the fact that they once personally gave you a divine protection will mean they were not fully focused on their believers. They would probably want to avoid that.>
“Man, what a pain.”
<Indeed. But gods always have to focus on their believers first and foremost, so they need to be careful about such things. We will have to search out a god without such restrictions, but I am not sure where we will find one.>
“You want a god who plays fast and loose with the rules? Well, you’re looking at one.”
●
“Good morning. The mornings here are a nice combination of cool and humid.”
I turned toward the voice I heard.
“Mucho!! It was you!?”
“My name is Eshita Inana! Or Eshtar if you want to be more precise!!”
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“I can’t stand this human.”
<Tell me about it. Feel free to insult him all you want.>
Eshita leaned against the doorframe while munching on the Grilled Beef flavor chips that were her breakfast.
Her diagonally-angled view showed her the human idiot and Balancer.
“Human, I owe you one after last night. I’m going to pay you back for that now, so accept my authority.”
She took a breath.
“Or do I need to do this as a DC inspector? I will be intervening as an inspector to prevent any further delays in the Shinto terraforming. You aren’t going to defy me now, are you?”
●
“Well, isn’t this something.”
Scarecrow watched Omokane sit on the railing between the library and the counter.
“I went and hid to dodge responsibility, but this has not progressed the way I expected.”
“It really hasn’t,” said someone other than Scarecrow.
It was Shamhat who was looking at so many books she had to use a cart.
She wore her casual clothing and had just pulled a large book from the world history section.
“I wasn’t sure what we were going to do when you called me in this morning and told me Iwanaga had gone missing.”
“What are your thoughts?”
“That you contacting me really makes me feel like I’m part of Shinto now.”
“Yes,” said Omokane. “I had a feeling I could rope you into this if I called you in now.”
“Omokane-san.”
It turned out you could start glaring at someone without trying to.
But Shamhat smiled a little, as if to say this was not a bad thing.
“Anyway, I can at least act as an ambassador. My superiors always have a high opinion of me. Because I am tightlipped and I don’t act on my own judgment very often.”
“I appreciate that. Especially the part about not acting on your own judgment. Because if I can cajole you over to our side, then you’re mine.”
But anyway…
“We were right to say the library was closed today. It would have been a problem had Sumeragi-kouhai come in here.”
“But he seems to have his memory back already. How did that happen?”
“It was Douhai-kun who asked to have his memories erased. But since they are back, they must have been sealed rather than erased. But sealing them may have been all that was possible, so I can’t take issue with that.”
“Why didn’t you stop her when she said to erase his memories? None of this trouble would have happened if you had used your authority to step in.”
“Stop her? Why would I do that? Shinto’s terraforming work is still progressing smoothly and without issue. Don’t you agree?”
“Yatsui.”
Scarecrow felt the need to speak up here.
“You need to be aware that your provocations last night are part of what led to this. The Heavenly Gods might transcend the people living in the Divine States, but there are a lot of people from other countries here.”
“Which is why we need someone like me to act as a lightning rod for people’s frustrations.”
She laughed.
“And let me tell you, I love my position, that part very much included.”
“You are not a pleasant person.”
“Person? I am a god.”
“We call this the Divine World, but it’s modeled after the human world in the ’90s. If you live there, it seems fair to call you a person. And based on what I saw last night, Eshtar is already letting the place influence her.”
She held up the world history book.
It was part of a series that introduced people to world history with a manga format.
“Look, even I’m starting to wonder if this might be the quickest way to teach people about my Bil and Ki.”
“You talk you’re they’re mom.”
“The world is always changing and prostitutes are like a parent to all. We need to welcome people with open arms when they’re confused by or mistaken about how the world has changed.”
“Omokane-san could really stand to learn a thing or two from you.”
“So you’re saying I should charge money for my services?”
“That is not what I meant.”
What were they supposed to do with her? But…
“How much of what happened with that boy did you set up in advance?”
●
“Well,” said Omokane. “My reaction last night was legitimate. And I did not ask to have him turned into a her.”
“That was set up by Kunugi-san and the other 5th generations here. They probably received word that the inspector and you three were coming. It seems to have been a way to prevent you all from searching him out or encountering him in a negative way.”
“A sex change is something I knew was possible but never considered as a possibility here. That rollback system really came in handy, huh? But…”
But…
“The dump truck that hit him was from an Olympus company, but we don’t know who actually did it. We probably never will. …I have a pretty good guess, though.”
“Who? Or which mythology?”
“If I said it out loud, my words would reach them. That’s just how gods like us work. So you’ll have to wait until it comes down to a direct confrontation. …Anyway, the point of it was to force us to do a rollback, so they aren’t a direct enemy. If they did think they were actually killing him and weren’t aware of the rollback system, then we would be dealing with a mythology full of divine hoodlums or something.”
For now, she had to say this.
“We need to watch over the rollback process more carefully from now on. I am sure Kunugi-kun arranged for that because the entire process was being pushed through in a hurry, but we need to thank him and come to a consensus on how to do things going forward.”
“I received a Revelation Board message from Kido-san about this.”
“Yes, Kido-kun absolutely adores Sumeragi-kouhai, doesn’t she? Was she out having fun around Kurashiki right now? She’ll probably get dragged in with his hangers-on once she returns, so that should be amusing.”
But anyway…
“How are things going at the terraforming site?”
“It seems Sumeragi-kun just made his entrance. You should be glad, Omokane-san.”
“Because his concern for his partner led him to break through his memory seal and return to the site?”
“That too, but remember when he showed up here shortly after we arrived this morning?”
Scarecrow sighed.
“If he had taken a dump in front of the door, I would have ordered you to clean it up since you’re in charge here. See, you really should be glad.”
So that’s the game we’re playing here, thought Omokane before hearing Shamhat speak from behind her.
“Not to worry. Some people are into that. It’s a pricey option, though.”
And that is most definitely not the game we are playing here.
●
“Hell, yeah! I’m back, terraforming!”
I raised my voice as soon as I saw the black and red expanse in front of me.
A 300m piece of black rock land was surrounded by a sea of lava.
The sky was mostly covered by dark clouds, but I could see the stars through the gaps.
No, that was what I should have seen. Instead…
<The lava appears to be winning.>
The screen made it sound like a casual observation, but it was true.
There were flame dragons.
I couldn’t tell how long they were in all, but they were huge. Just the head and upper neck sticking out of the lava were nearly 3m long. The serpentine dragons were seemingly made of scarlet light and they were trying to destroy the land.
They were crashing against it, breathing fire, and smashing the rock between their jaws.
I heard the sounds of a continuous clash and deep impacts. Also…
“…!”
When they breathed fire, they would also roar and that roar created an explosive blast that split the land.
But they were being opposed by another force: the upperclassmen.
“–––!”
“…!”
They seemed to be discussing something as they fought and I saw a few other people there as well.
But there weren’t enough of them. Looking at the overall balance, destruction had the upper hand.
And…
“I’ve never been to one of these sites before. Is it always like this?”
“What!? Of course not, Mucho! This is normally where Senpai and I share our love! It’s a world of oh-so-sweet rocks, lava, and scorching wind! How should I put it? This just shows how hot-hot-hot our passion for each other is! How was that not obvious!?”
“In what world would that be obvious!?”
<Just so you know, Eshtar, a lot of that exists only in the ape’s fantasies, so don’t take it too seriously. He has not done anywhere near as much as he lets on.>
“Hey! Let me dream!”
“Sure, you can dream, but don’t blame us when that dream never comes true. Anyway, what were you planning to do now?”
That was obvious.
The stone hut Senpai had created was right in front of me.
“I convince Senpai to come on out of there.”
<I never imagined we would be more-or-less recreating Ama-no-Iwato at this stage.>
I had to agree. Before coming here, I had read the Shinto books I had checked out from the library.
I felt like I had learned a lot, even if I had only really skimmed through a few books.
“Then how should I go about this?”
<You spelled it out pretty well yourself. Senpai-san still has authority over this land and the terraforming done here, but she has removed her divine protections, which means it will be destroyed at this rate. You need to convince her to restore the divine protections.>
“So I just do what I wanted to do anyway! What about you, Mucho!?”
“I said I was paying you back because I owed you one, remember? I’m here as the inspector, so all I can do is provide you with the divine protections you need to survive here. You need to solve the problem yourself.”
That made sense to me.
After all, this place belonged to Senpai and me. So…
“Thanks, Mucho. I’m off to convince Senpai!”
●
Raidou saw the idiot doing some warmup exercises in front of the stone hut.
“There you are, Sumeragi! What took you so long!?”
“Senpai-chan’s gone full shut-in, so you’ve gotta drag her outta there!”
“Okay, you can count on me!”
The instant he said that, a flame dragon dove in from way up in the air and crushed the idiot in a self-destruct attack.
It was rollback time already.
Interlude[edit]
“Wait, what?”
“It’s like when you crash into an enemy the instant you start playing a game.”
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