On a Godless Planet:Volume2A Chapter 19
Chapter 19: Chaotix[edit]
–Common sense is a dangerous thing.
●
“I sense trouble brewing.”
Shifu stopped on the way to Tachikawa Station and took a westward route.
She had just seen a combat field shattering in the sky, so she began moving toward it.
She wasn’t alone. Senpai-chan, Kuwajiri-chan, and Tenma-chan were with her.
That had to be an illegal combat field, so they had to go check it out.
●
“Tooru? Is there any trouble going on near you?”
“Huh? I’m on my way to the hardware store. Did something happen?”
“Looks that way.”
“If you’re taking a look, be careful. And call me if you find anything.”
“Sure thing. I’ll go check it out real quick.”
It felt wrong ending it there, so she contacted someone else too.
“Hey, En-chan? What are you up to right now?”
“Eh? Oh, I’m cooking. We still don’t have gas, so I thought I would try the portable stove I was given, but I found a convenient alternative to use instead.”
“Ooh, we’ve got a real homemaker on our hands. So what’s Bil-chan up to?”
“He brought something here earlier – a tent I think? – but since we’re out of dinner cheese, I had him go buy some.”
“Wait, so everyone’s having a peaceful night?”
“We may have been the only ones to see that.”
●
So anyway, that’s what happened.
Shifu wasn’t quite sure what to believe, but she dragged the others along with her.
“Better safe than sorry, right? And if it’s nothing, we can just say we took the scenic route. Is that alright with you?”
“Um, yes. I’m not sure I’ll be much help if something is happening, though.”
“But,” said Kuwajiri-chan. “Having a Shinto god with us should matter a lot if we do find something.”
“That is correct. You will have an easier time of finding justification.”
“Didn’t realize that was the ‘correct’ way of doing things.”
Shifu laughed a little and continued on to the west. It was already dark out, so the streetlights, signs, and car headlights illuminated their way.
“I was thinking we could buy a cake or something on Will’s 1st floor and then chat at my place until Tooru gets back.”
“Why a cake instead of dinner?”
“I don’t want you thinking all we ever eat is meat.”
“But what do we do about dinner?”
“For that, I figured we could buy something at Will and eat it while we walked.”
“They have a Lotteria on the 1st floor, don’t they?”
“M-McDonalds in the morning and Lotteria in the evening seems like a lot of food!”
It didn’t to Shifu, but that had to be a difference in eating habits or culinary culture.
The feel of the city changed around them.
What had been a jumbled collection of buildings and diagonal streets became a lot more organized.
“Didn’t there used to be an airport and factories around here?”
“There still are. The airport has more or less become a secondary location for the US Yokota Air Base. The US used to run Tachikawa Air Base here and it was converted into the Showa Memorial Park when it was returned to Japan, so the area has been built up a lot since then.”
Kuwajiri looked straight ahead to a large space surrounded by woods.
It was a dark place, with hardly any lights.
The majority of that was Showa Memorial Park, but a portion of it had been rented out and a new facility had been built there.
That hadn’t been there in the real Tachikawa, Tokyo, of the actual 90s. It was…
“Our school.”
“Let’s go check it out real quick. We can turn around after seeing the school’s entrance.”
I hope it’s nothing, thought Shifu, but she had another, more personal, thought.
…I feel like it’s about time something happened.
She knew that was a dangerous thought, but that was what led her to walk toward the dark woods surrounding the school.
●
Athena’s viewpoint was positioned a bit higher than the dark woods. She viewed the enemy through Victorious Empress’s “eyes”.
…He’s tiny.
The god before her was so small.
She now stood nearly 11 meters tall.
This equipment – the god of war – was no mere machine. After the pilot was taken in, they were converted into a data entity and used as the very OS that controlled the machine.
Thus, the pilot sat in a mechanized virtual space created as the god of war’s brain, but they were actually the god of war itself, meaning they operated it as if they had grown into a giant.
Of course, considerations of inertia and mass were handled by the Auth Spell and divine protection control system built into the god of war. But there was a risk of damage feeding back into the pilot and various methods of avoiding that were a constant topic of research.
…Now, then.
The god of war control system operated at divine speed. It depended on the pilot’s Divine Rank, but Athena could briefly increase the sensory system to a maximum of around 1000x speed.
That meant she could increase her reaction speed to more than 1000x normal. In other words…
“You have no means of opposing me, 5th generation.”
●
Athena warned him, but the enemy still moved.
“––––––”
She did not think he was stupid. Okay, she thought it a little, but not to the point of verbalizing it in her mind. So it didn’t count.
She had a great power and superior reaction speed.
So if he had ignored all that to charge toward her…
…Does he have a plan!?
She wouldn’t make the mistake of underestimating a foe, so she readied herself to fight.
She stepped forward to prepare. She did not step back.
Even under ordinary conditions, the god of war’s reaction speed was more than 10x normal. Bilgamesh was moving so slowly to her. However…
“…!”
His eyes were directed at her sight devices.
He intended to fight.
That meant he did have a plan. Or he had something that let him skip having a plan.
She was sure of it now, so she took action. She pulled back the spear in her right hand and activated it.
“Dory Piesis.”
The entire spear opened up, preparing to release its internal pressure. The spear was equipped with a shield radiator and used ether conduction to operate, so ether light instantly gathered around it.
During the Gigantomachy, the battle against the Giants, this weapon had been used to slay many a foe. At its max power, it had even altered the location of Sicily in the Mediterranean, but…
…I must not hold back!
She struck. But right as she did…
“Eh?”
Her view suddenly changed.
She was now looking at the night sky. And that starry sky was moving by quite rapidly.
She also realized she was a lot lower to the ground than before. Which meant…
“I was forcibly disconnected from the god of war!?”
●
I saw something in front of me.
“Oh, c’mon. This is way too many new characters.”
Apology Man had come to a stop but maintained his fighting stance while turning to face someone new.
The newcomer was a girl.
She was tall and wore a uniform. She had long silver hair and had her right hand raised in front of Athena, who had fallen onto her butt.
“Enough,” she said. “I am Demeter of the Olympus gods. I apologize for the trouble, but could you back off?”
●
“…? I think I sense some real trouble here.”
The school surrounded by woods had originally been a part of the Showa Memorial Park and it was generally surrounded by a wall.
That meant reaching the school grounds required arriving at one of the intersections where there was an opening in the wall, but we first stopped facing the wall.
“Which way is closer to the main gate: right or left?”
“Let’s see, this is the eastern wall positioned alongside the road that runs through the school grounds, right?”
“Shifu-senpai, traveling north from here would take us to where Sumeragi rolled back last night.”
“Hmm. Kind of doubt there would be a second helping of trouble there.”
I didn’t quite understand the abilities fighters like Shifu-san had. So…
“Um, Shifu-san, you can’t tell what’s happening or where?”
“No, I can’t. It’s the same with that combat field. I heard what I guess I would describe as a clanging metal sound, though, so something was going on before.”
“Could it have been a battle?”
“Like against that water monster? She’s made of water, so I wouldn’t have heard any loud sounds. Unless she caused a steam explosion or something.”
“Then,” I asked, “who was fighting?”
“Shifu-senpai, I will guard Senpai-san, so how about you jump over this wall and see what’s happening?”
“Kuwajiri-chan, what if you run across something like the angry river spirits from the other day?”
“I will grab Senpai-san’s hand and run away.”
“A solid plan!”
“Then let’s take the northern route.”
“Eh? But isn’t that where Sumeragi-kun rolled back, meaning it’s where Eshita-san fought the water monster last night?”
“Do you really think anyone would be stupid enough to get into a trouble there a second time?”
“Now that you mention it,” said Shifu-san before placing a hand on my shoulder.
“I do, actually. You never know what’s going to happen when Sumeragi-chan and Senpai-chan are involved.”
“Hey, wait. Why am I on that list?”
As soon as I said that, someone came running from the northern route we were about to take.
“Oh?”
It was Kido-san. And her hanging right hand was…
“Kido-chan? Is your hand injured again? What happened?”
●
What is happening here? wondered Bilgamesh.
The human and Mr. Vomit stood behind him.
He was facing the Olympus goddess Athena who claimed to be an inspector and the goddess calling herself Deme…Deme-something.
I didn’t know Athena and I don’t know this one either.
I should have studied more, he thought, but he was from the 5th generation and they were from the 7th generation. He thought it should be expected for him to be unfamiliar with them. He had a feeling Ki would get after him if he said so, but he also doubted she would know these goddesses either, so he considered studying up on them first and then nonchalantly showing off his knowledge. But anyway…
“I must ask you to move. I am working to defeat the water monster who attacked the human.”
“You can’t do that because-”
Athena was cut off by a wave of Deme-something’s right hand.
That apparently meant “silence”.
“Said water monster has already escaped. …Neptune, do you understand now?”
“I’m sorry. But I just want to return her to her original form and relationship.”
Behind Bilgamesh, Mr. Vomit sighed. It was clearly a sigh of relief.
What did that water monster mean to him? And setting aside what this said about the righteousness of slaying her…
…This must have been the best result for him.
The human was safe too, so Bilgamesh relaxed his stance.
“Then we can end this here. I will head home.”
“Eh? Hey, wait!”
“We have no reason to fight.”
With that, he turned around. And thought to himself.
…I am glad whatever his secret was remained hidden.
●
Apology Man was coming my way. Two important-looking people stood beyond him.
I didn’t understand any of this, but the fighting was over.
“Apology Man, are you preparing for tomorrow’s camping trip? Personally, I’m going to beat Rastan II when I get back home.”
“Yes. Those two appear to be inspectors, but we did not violate any of the rules here. And I doubt they will take issue with the camping trip as long as we use it to advance the terraforming. So I say we head home under the assumption that I will report all of this to the thunder god and the others.”
“Also,” said Apology Man, looking behind me.
Mr. Vomit was there. Or he had been.
“He’s gone?”
“He retreated into the woods when I approached. He did bow as he left, so I have no quarrel with him.”
“You mean you aren’t going to ask him what all this was about?” I asked.
Apology Man had an immediate answer.
“If anything does happen, I can handle it.”
“That’s so cool. If I was a girl, I’d fall for you, realize you weren’t doing a damn thing to prevent crime before it happens, decide I wasn’t so hot for you after all, and adjust my opinion of you downwards!”
“But aren’t you a boy right now?”
I raised my right hand. Apology Man mimicked the action, but he didn’t seem to know what this meant. But…
“Like this, Apology Man.”
I high fived him. I slapped his hand and it made one hell of a sound.
“Owww! How hard is your body!?”
“That is probably one of the differences between us. Especially when my battle focus has not fully faded. But regardless…”
Apology Man looked back over his shoulder at the inspectors.
“I hope we can have an official battle next time.”
We both fell silent after that. And…
“Hey, what’s up! What you two doing in a place like this?”
An annoyance decided to burden us with her presence. Also…
“Hey, wait! Who’re those two!?”
She had a lot of catching up to do!
●
Eshita listened to the human’s explanation while standing between the two she recognized.
“Listen up. I’m here so I can beat Rastan II. Apology Man is on his way to buy some cheese. Mr. Vomit was here earlier and those two there are a red micro bikini goddess who makes crazy demands and Deme-something. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard Deme-something’s name somewhere before, but I can’t for the life of me remember where. Maybe an enemy mech in Ideon? Demesumtheng maybe?”
She had no idea what he was talking about.
●
Demeter saw this as the arrival of an annoyance.
Eshtar. A major Mesopotamian god. She likely had the greatest divine rank of anyone here. However…
…What is she doing here?
Had Bilgamesh summoned her? Or did they have a system set up to auto-summon her if the human was in danger?
Demeter didn’t know. But it was an annoyance nonetheless.
She had honestly planned to have Athena pursue Neptune. They didn’t have the right to detain their old acquaintances that were the Roman gods, but they could take them in for questioning as inspectors. So she had wanted to bring him in under her supervision, but…
…I can’t do that with Eshtar here.
She could not send Athena out right away.
Meanwhile, she didn’t want to cause trouble with the Mesopotamian gods who also worked as inspectors. That was why she had planned to have Athena dispel her god of war and then go detain Neptune in secret, but then Eshtar showed up.
What an inconvenient girl.
She had shown up from behind, so had Demeter left an opening in her defenses? And thanks to Eshtar’s high divine rank, she had likely negated Demeter and Athena’s alert divine protections.
For now, she decided to ask why Eshtar was here.
“It’s been a while, Eshtar.”
Eshtar turned to look at her. Their eyes met. And…
“Who’re you?”
●
I saw something terrible playing out before my eyes.
“Who am IIIIIIIIIIII!? I am one of the most important Olympus gods! We have met at DC meetings several times!”
“Oh, you’re an Olympus god!? That makes sense! But I barely remember anything from those DC meetings, so I don’t know who you are! Sorry!”
“Are you aware we are here as inspectors!?”
“Yeah, they were just telling me that! But I’m doing a great job inspecting, so you can just go home!”
“Eshtar, you claim to be doing a great job, but the DC hasn’t been receiving any regular reports from you.”
“Eh? But I’ve been sending them to Shamash.”
Everyone fell silent. And eventually…
“You’re supposed to send them to the DC, not Shamash!!”
“I am so sorry.”
“Oh, you’re sorryyyyyy, are you!? That doesn’t fix anything!”
“Huh!? Don’t be ridiculous, Busty Silver! Apology Man’s apologies are common, but they’re really valuable! He says them all time, but they’re really hard to get if you’re trying to get one!”
“What are you even talking about!? And what is happening here!? Hey, Eshtar! Are you even doing your job!?”
“Of course I am. It’s not like I was avoiding sending in my reports because I wasn’t doing my job. That’s silly. There’s a great Shinto saying: no news is bad news! Hadn’t you heard!?”
Athena silently gave me quite a look, but this one wasn’t my fault.
Then Mucho looked my way too.
“Hey, human! Explain this for those ignoramuses! Tell them how useful and levelheaded I am!”
“You can count on me, Mucho! I’ll tell them about all your best points!”
I put on a serious look and explained Mucho’s best points to the Olympus goddesses.
“Listen up, you two! I recommend starting by abandoning all hope of learning anything good here!”
“Heyyyyyyyyy!!”
“Shut up, Mucho! You’ll look better if I lower their expectations first!”
“Really?”
“…”
“That silence is very concerning.”
That unexpected support helped me recover my willpower. My gauge had refilled. So I got to explaining.
“Listen up! Mucho is doing her job! She’s eating Karamucho for every meal to raise Koikeya’s stock price, making her the true manifestation of a Karamucho god! That’s why most people here in Japan call her Mucho! Also she accidentally killed me and I pulled off a Spelunker combo, so now she’s living in fear of Senpai!”
“I am so sorry.”
“Hold the apologies until after I’ve had a chance to respond!!”
She was a real good sport about this.
●
“Aunt! Do not play along! I believe they are attempting to confuse us with insidious mind games!”
“You caught me, Micro Bikini! My current tactic is ‘drive them crazy’. That’s nothing like your ‘throw your life away’ tactic.”
“I have never used that tactic!!”
I have to disagree with you there, thought Demeter.
But what was this? To sum up her thoughts…
“Eshtar, what have you been doing here?”
“Ugh! I don’t even know who you are, so get off my back!”
“Yay! Take that, Mucho! This is what you get for eating my Umaibo! I was saving that so I could give it to Senpai and then quietly worship her by thinking, ‘Ahh, Senpai is eating my Umaibo! Salami flavor!’ ”
“Eshtar, are you a victim here?”
“I don’t need your pity!”
“Sh-she’s right, aunt! You are too forgiving!”
I really don’t so, but if one of my own says so, maybe I am, thought Demeter.
But if the “if one of your own says so” rule applied more broadly…
“Mucho! If you’ve got her pity, you need to milk it for all it’s worth! I think Topos is still open, so have her buy you a case of snacks for our camping trip tomorrow!”
“…”
“Eshtar, are you sure you’re alright? Completely sure?”
“If you’re worried, then prove it! I’d even accept some Wasabeef right now!”
“What is Wasabeef?”
“Don’t let her take you in, aunt!!”
My niece is in a yelly mood.
But anyway, she had to think.
That water monster had already fled.
They had made their greeting as inspectors.
They had seen the human and gotten a decent idea of these gods’ abilities. So…
“Very well. We will let you go for tonight.”
“Eh!? What!? You’re scared!? You’re running away with your tail between your legs!?”
Damn him!
●
“Aunt! Aunt! That human is not even worth our time, so do not let his provocation get to you!”
Athena quickly tackled her aunt to stop her from summoning her god of war.
That aunt had a reputation for causing more trouble than any other Olympus god when she got mad. Athena was here to keep an eye on her, but there was honestly nothing she could do to stop Demeter if she got truly mad. It simply wasn’t possible. Most likely, not even the combined strength of the Dodekatheoi could do it. But…
“Eh!? What’s this? Was I just so cute you had to admit total defeat? Heh heh. Can’t blame you, really! I am history’s cutest goddess after all!”
“Do! Not! Provoke her!!”
“Huh!? I wasn’t provoking anyone! I was just stating facts. What’s so provocative about calling myself cute!? Are you stupid!?”
“Yayyyy! You’re stuuuuuupid!!”
Shut up, both you. And if possible, could you die or be destroyed? Please, please, I beg of you. However…
“I am so sorry.”
Athena’s aunt relaxed her body when she heard that.
That apology was a turning point, so Athena grabbed and pulled on her aunt’s arm.
“Okay, aunt! We’ve introduced ourselves, so let’s get going!”
“Grind, grind”
Her tooth grinding was impressively loud.
“Th-the train station is still open, so how about we grab some dinner and some dessert while we do some sightseeing!?”
“That’s a great idea!”
She switched gears quick.
●
I saw Deme-something turn toward me.
“Listen up, you three. We will settle this next time we meet.”
That was such a Weekly Shonen Champion thing to say.
But then she left, hurried away by Athena. And…
“Hey, Apology Man?”
“What do you want, human?”
“You said you were going to Will to buy some cheese, but it’ll look like you’re stalking those two if you go now.”
“…”
“There’s an Inageya over there, so you could shop there instead. Do you know the way?”
“…Thank you.”
“Oh, I’ll go too! I was just aimlessly walking around anyway!”
She was so different from Senpai even though they were both goddesses. But…
“You’re going that way? But that crosswalk is where you were hit by an ambulance!”
“Didn’t need to know that!!”
●
Maybe we shouldn’t have come here, was Shifu’s initial impression.
The mysterious combat field was bad enough, but now Kido arrived from that direction and she was injured. And…
“I will not be explaining.”
Didn’t really expect you to, thought Shifu.
Kido-chan clearly had her guard up. She had a tendency to try to seem “normal” the more cautious she was being. Or maybe it was when her emotions were stirred up.
But this seemed somehow different from the previous times.
“So were you doing something that would need an explanation?”
“–––––”
“W-well, every god has her issues to deal with, you know?”
But…
“Mine just so happen to be a tad complicated.”
“Kido-san.”
“Yes?”
“I doubt you would do anything to betray Sumeragi-kun.”
“But,” said Senpai-chan.
“Don’t do anything that would make him think you betrayed him, okay?”
“I am not sure what you mean.”
“I mean intentionally doing something to make him dislike you.”
Listen.
“Humans have no choice but to rely on the gods. So what is left for a human if a god deceives them?”
●
“Raidou-kun! I’m playing that Populous gaaaame you recommended meeee! It’s a loooot of fun. Hilarious too. I caaaan’t stop laughing when my believers get too numerous and I create a bunch of swaaaamps and they all fall in! Reminds me of my heyyyyday! Thanks!”
“Shinsei, I don’t think you understand how you’re supposed to play that game.”
●
Kido knew it was wrong.
But she also knew something else: there were times when you had no other choice.
So…
…It isn’t that simple.
Just as she thought that, Douhai-san surprised her by saying more.
“But there are times when you can’t help yourself and end up doing it anyway.”
“Huh?”
“But here’s the thing,” she said, waving her right hand dismissively. “If it comes to that, it’s okay to let it out. In fact, you should just bring it all out into the open.”
“A-are you trying to entice me to do something?”
“After all, I do that sometimes too. Still…”
Still…
“Even if your worries seem impossible while you keep them bottled up, when everyone else gathers around to help you out, you’ll realize they weren’t so impossible after all.”
“That sounds like wishful thinking to me. Besides-”
Kido cut that thought short.
She wanted to say “you don’t know me”.
Or “you can’t possibly understand what I’m dealing with”.
Those things were true, but…
“That thing you nearly said? Saying it would mean the end for all of this, wouldn’t it?”
“Have you been through something like this before?”
“Maybe so, maybe not.” Shifu-san smiled a little. “Either way, the world where you said it back there is no more, so it’d probably be best to just not say it at all.”
“––––––”
Kido threw out a sigh and then looked up a bit.
“I underestimated you. I’m sorry.”
“Where did this come from?”
“I assumed only I could understand this and that you wouldn’t even try to understand.”
“You internally ranked us quite lowly, didn’t you?”
That was correct, so Kido rubbed her head.
“…”
“How cute. Kuwajiri-chan’s embarrassed.”
“Sh-she is?”
I can’t tell at all, thought Kido, breathing another sigh.
…I suppose you can’t tell these things from the outside.
It made sense no one else could understand her thoughts. She had kept them on the inside, so no one on the outside could hope to understand them.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For not agreeing with me or pushing me onward. Acting like you understood and like we are close friends would have hurt my pride far more than a lack of understanding.”
“Hey, everyone has their own issues to deal with. You can’t just thoughtlessly say you know what it’s like.”
“Then again, I could definitely hear Sumeragi-kun shouting I’ve been there!, couldn’t you?”
“Sorry, but do not do that again. I didn’t need to imagine that.”
“Eh? Eh? Was my impression that good!? You mean I could fake having Sumeragi-kun say anything I want!? Does anyone have a tape recorder?”
Is she alright?
●
“Anyway,” Kido said. “Please believe that I haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Would anyone think you of all people are up to no good?”
“Right? You’re the cool type who couldn’t even manage an innocent prank.”
“Wh-what kind of person do you think I am!?
“So, what should we do now?”
Shifu-san checked the time on a Revelation Board.
“We were on our way to shop for a number of things at Will…but I’m not sure we have time now.”
“Um, there’s an Inageya near here. Don’t they stay open until 10?”
“I doubt the inventory of a single supermarket near closing time will be sufficient for these carnivore gods.”
“Hm. Are you all free tomorrow morning?”
“I am, assuming that idiot doesn’t roll back again.”
“Um, I was planning go shopping with Sumeragi-kun, but we were planning to go to Will.”
“Wow, that sounds great. So Sumeragi-chan would be with us? Yup, Sumeragi-chan would be with us.”
“Did you have to repeat that while staring at me!?”
“But,” said Kido, raising her right hand after applying an Auth Spell to the wound.
“He won’t accuse me?”
“I doubt it. I bet he’ll try to be your friend instead.”
“That is a problem in its own way.”
They all agreed on a time to meet up, which meant it was time to head home. But…
“Kido-san.”
Just as they were parting ways, Douhai-san spoke to Kido.
“I think you are underestimating Sumeragi-kun.”
“You mean…”
“Yes.” She nodded. “He is a human, so he would never look down on a god.”
●
“Yeahhh! You’re sooooo stupid, Mucho! That might say butter on the package, but it’s the unsalted kind! It’s nothing but saltless faaaaaaat!”
“Huhhhh!? Why would they sell such a misleading product with such a misleading label!?”
“This is my mission, so why are you two more worked up than me?”
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