On a Godless Planet:Volume2A Chapter 5
Chapter 5: Midnight Resistance[edit]
Talk about unreliable. We’ve basically already won!
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I sighed as Shifu-san left.
“Wait, didn’t Shifu-san have something to tell me?”
●
“Oh, crap! I completely forgot to tell Senpai-chan the reason why the river spirits were going crazy earlier!”
The magic of the Big Katsu was to blame. You couldn’t underestimate Yaokin. Or was it made by Kadou now?
The box contained 30 packs and each pack had 3 inside. She and Tooru could both snack on them and they would still last 45 days. Or maybe we should finish them in 20 days since they expire soon. But…
“Should I tell Senpai-chan that or not? This is the kind of dumb mistake Eshita-chan would make.”
●
<I know you are currently fighting, Eshita, but it’s urgent! Someone just called you dumb!>
“Are you worried at all!? You aren’t, are you!? And who was it!?”
“Mucho! Don’t let it get to you! Everyone’s thinking it all the time, so you’re fine! Oh, but Senpai is pure of heart, so she’s the one exception! You can tell it’s true because you’d vanish in a puff of smoke if she was thinking bad thoughts about you!”
“That’s not fine at all!”
“–––!!”
The monster must have felt left out because she sent an attack their way.
●
“Well, she can tell me whatever it was tomorrow.”
I looked down at the pot. Some vinegar soy sauce chicken was cooking inside.
That was made by boiling chicken thighs in soy sauce diluted in vinegar, water, and sake. The trick was to add a pinch of sugar to help the flavor and color soak in. Then you let it simmer for around 15 minutes without putting the lid on. Then you could let the residual heat handle the rest.
Once it cooled, the pale color of the shiny soy sauce would have soaked into the chicken.
I thought it was a good summer dish because you could eat it cold. The fat cooked out of it and adding some grated ginger made for a luxurious meal. I tried cooking it with asparagus this time. The asparagus was a little overcooked, but when I grabbed one and tried it…
“It tastes like beans!”
That meant it was good, but it was also interesting. But…
“♪~♪ I think I made too much.”
This was a problem.
Not to mention that I had already eaten dinner, so this would have to wait until tomorrow. Even so…
“I bought enough ingredients for two, which made enough food for two, which means I now have an extra serving. Oh, dear, what to do? I have no choice but to go share it with Sumeragi-kun next door.”
<Did you hit your head?>
“Wah! D-did you have to scare me like that!?”
<No, but as this divine world’s manager, I couldn’t let that bizarre reasoning go uncommented upon.>
I knocked Balancer out the door with a series of slaps.
And since the door was open now, I went back to the kitchen, put the chicken in a container, placed plastic wrap over it, and left again. I stopped in front of Sumeragi-kun’s room next door.
“U-umm.”
What was I supposed to say?
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<Hey, ape! should suffice. He would enjoy the cold treatment.>
“I’m not sure I like that you just responded to my thoughts, but I’ll let it slide this once since I was having trouble.”
But…
“What does a god normally call their worshiper?”
<Give me a second while I ask around.>
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“Myyyy believerrrrs? Let’s seeee. Back in my heyyyyday, I usually said, Hey, sheep!”
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“Well, in my case, they tend to be exam takers.”
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“I checked in the arcade earlier, and they were labeled PLAYER1.”
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“Wh-why do none of them have a single useful response!?”
<Isn’t the diversity of the 90s a wonderful thing?>
At any rate, I decided sticking to my guns would be the best choice here. So I straightened up and…
“Sumeragi-kun?”
“…”
“Oh, noooooo! Sumeragi-kun is ignoring me!”
<Let’s not jump to conclusions! The ape might not be able to hear you. Try it louder this time.>
“Sumeragi-kun!?”
“…”
“Oh, nooooooo!! He really is ignoring me! What choice do I have but to disappear and hide inside my virtual manifestation!? Now I have to stay there while I grow old and forgotten!”
<Again, don’t jump to conclusions! Calm down! If you want to get his attention, say something you know that idiot can’t ignore!>
“Such as?”
<Well,> said Balancer. <Hold that container in front of your chest, smile, cock your head to the side, hop up and down with your knees, and say, ‘Good evening! It’s time for tonight’s Heart-Pounding Worshiper Interaction Time♪’ and I guarantee it will get his attention.>
I decided to try it.
“Good evening! It’s time for tonight’s Heart-Pounding Worshiper Interaction Time♪”
<Did not expect you to actually do it.>
I returned the container of chicken to the kitchen, stepped back out into the corridor, grabbed Balancer, and shook them up and down.
“How could you!? How could you!? You knew I was having a serious mental party right now!”
<Please calm down. Besides, that ape isn’t home at the moment.>
“Not home?”
I tried pressing the intercom button next to his door.
<Why wasn’t that the first thing you tried?>
Oh, shut up. I may be a god, but I still get irritated when you make such a good point. But there was no response.
“Oh, nooooo!! He really is ignoring me! What choice do I have but to disappear and hide inside my virtual manifestation!? What choice do I have but to bring an ice cream recipe over there, get some ice from my father’s mountain ice room, and eat a whole bunch of ice cream!?”
<That sounds like an enjoyable shut-in life, but isn’t the ape just not in?>
Could that be it?
I focused my ears next to the door.
…I don’t hear anything.
So I moved over to the kitchen window. The glass was made so you couldn’t see in through it, but I could see the light on the other side.
“I don’t see any movement or hear anything.”
<Objectively speaking, you look extremely suspicious right now.>
I grabbed Balancer and shook them.
<Okay, fine. I’ll go inside and check for you.>
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Instantly, my hand shot out.
Instantly, my hand grabbed Balancer.
Instantly, my hand pulled back.
Instantly, I was staring right into Balancer’s eyes.
<O-okay, okay. I-I won’t do that. Point made.>
As long as he instantly understood.
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But what was I supposed to do now? Without thinking, I grabbed the doorknob to Sumeragi’s room.
I turned it…and it turned.
“––––––”
“Hmmmm!?”
<That idiot must have forgotten to lock up when he left.>
“Eh? Eh? What does this mean? Is this a divine message from Sumeragi-kun that I’m allowed to go in?”
<Do I need to call the police on you?>
“…”
“Don’t worry, I’ve calmed down now.”
“B-but what am I supposed to do!?”
<Let’s see. There isn’t much crime in this area, so you can probably just ignore it.>
“No, no, no, no! I really don’t think so.”
Just then, I thought I heard something.
“…Water?”
<Could there be a leak? Oh, and I know what this is, but I can’t say because I am neutral and must protect the ape’s privacy.>
“You mean something is happening in there!?”
I grabbed the doorknob with both hands and stopped to think.
“U-umm.”
Was it really acceptable for me to go in there?
Think carefully, Iwanaga-hime. This door leads to holy ground.
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“Umm.”
I looked left and right. Balancer was the only one around. But…
“Glance.”
I checked behind me and saw something hide in the woods across the way and behind the building below.
<Those would be local gods or local spirits.>
“B-but why would the local gods or spirits be interested in me preparing to open the door to Sumeragi-kun’s room?”
<I think you just answered your own question.>
So did I. But…
“I-I should stop.”
<Oh, an excellent decision.>
“Isn’t it? Isn’t it? It’s a fantastic decision. B-but this might be my last chance and what if – I don’t know – an earthquake happened, the doorknob turned on its own, and the door opened? And now the doorknob is heating up? Wait, am I indirectly holding Sumeragi-kun’s hand!? An indirect handshake with my fave!? Incredible! Doorknobs are great! They rule! So maybe I can just keep doing this until Sumeragi-kun shows up.”
<Calm down! Please calm down! Try to focus your eyes again!>
How rude.
“Why are you being so mean to me, Balancer? I am perfectly sane.”
<Yes, that’s what they all say.>
At any rate, I slowly let go of the doorknob. Good, gooood, good good gooood. See, you can do it, Iwanaga-hime. Way to go!
<This is taking forever…>
“Wh-what is!?”
But what was I supposed to do about the water I could hear?
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Eshita sensed the sound of running water.
…This is such a pain at night.
She was on the school grounds. She stood in front of a reservoir surrounded by woods with a wall separating her from the urban area.
If not for the idiot, running away would be the best plan. Dealing with each and every one of them was a pain and introduced the possibility of injury.
“Balancer? Where are the local gods who are supposed to deal with this kind of thing?”
<Are you aware that Shinto is currently contracting a lot of its jobs out to other mythologies?>
“So shouldn’t the Norse gods be doing this?”
<This is a job for all the cooperative mythologies.>
“Then can I choose to be uncooperative?”
“–––––!!”
A water cannon flew her way, so she dodged it.
The enemy stood around 2.5m tall. Her total length had to be around 3m. At night, her water body looked black and reflective.
She was slow moving. Even the human could probably escape if he ran with all his might. But…
“This thing suddenly targeted the human.”
“Probably cause I’m so darn cute! Eh? Oh, no. I can’t have you trying to win my route when I already have Senpai as a god. Still, it is kind of exciting… Hey, wait! Listen to me! I’m putting real effort into saying this, you know!? S-see how I’m holding a hand to my mouth and looking coquettishly up at you!?”
What was he even talking about?
<You have my permission to ignore him.>
“Probably for the best.”
The water monster – or whatever they were going to call that thing – was straight ahead with the reservoir behind her.
Eshita and the human were on the road. The shadows cast by the surrounding woods and the streetlights did not fall on the road.
…This could be a pain.
It would be simple if she drew on her true power as a god.
But then she wouldn’t know who this was or what they wanted.
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Eshita thought to herself.
…Why is this thing “targeting” the human?
The human’s claim that it was his cuteness was out of the question. He was only a hairless ape, after all. Not to mention his bizarre behavior.
But cute or not, he was still human.
When they fought the flame dragon in the real world, the lifespan god had pointed out that the flame dragon was targeting the human.
The words didn’t make it true, but…
…Anything that wants to be a god or wants greater status as a god will target that human.
So did that explain the situation here too?
If so, was this a water spirit in the process of becoming a god? Or…
“Forget it. …Take this!”
Eshita forcefully swung down her right hand.
That activated an Auth Spell from her right shoulder to the end of the arm. It was directed at the water monster and it traveled 8 meters.
“Be destroyed!”
●
Nothing happened. The water monster simply retreated to the reservoir.
There was nothing around us – only the chirping of the summer insects.
I tilted my head at Mucho who was frozen in her chopping pose.
“What’re you doing, Mucho?”
“Normally, that would have caused mass destruction over a range of 2km in front of me. Which is why I thought that would happen.”
Eventually, Mucho clapped her hands.
“Oh, right! It’s hot out tonight, so I only threw on a shirt over my inner suit before heading out. That means I’m only wearing two pieces of clothing when I normally only use my power with at least five. That’s why it didn’t work!”
She turned to Balancer.
“Can I go home?”
The water monster had regained her motivation and shot a water cannon our way.
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That was dangerous, so Eshita dodged out of the way.
She had no power with so little clothing on, but that only applied to external power. Her reflexes were divine and her current state of dress was enough for her body to keep up with those reflexes. But…
“Huh?”
“Don’t just stand there!!”
She quickly shoved him out of the way. And…
“Ahhhhhh!?”
The idiot was sent flying.
“Eh!?”
<FYI: Your divine power might be reduced, but you still have a significant amount of power when compared to a human.>
“Can you dumb that down for me?”
<If that ape hits a tree and rolls back, Senpai-san will not be happy with you.>
Eshita dashed on over and grabbed the airborne idiot by the collar to redirect him.
She managed it.
The water blast flew in from behind and the idiot spun on the road like a top.
“Hey! What’s the big idea, Mucho!? You need to treat me with more care. Do you think you can get away with this?”
“Either get down or lie down!”
He was super in the way.
The idiot lay down on his side and wiggled while humming a sorrowful melody, but Eshita chose to ignore that. In the meantime…
“I could call Bilgamesh and have him deal with this, but why bother? I can show off and it counts as some light rehab.”
With that, she ran toward the water monster. She ducked low and rushed in.
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Eshita ran. Or leaped, really.
Her footing was excellent.
…Did they call this asphalt?
She was pretty sure they had used that stuff to preserve mummies in Egypt. What a strange age this was if they were using it to pave roads.
…Does that mean this world’s land is more or less wrapped in mummy bandages?
Eshita closed in on the enemy.
The enemy of course counterattacked.
Straight ahead, the water monster launched an artillery shell made of water from her hands. But no matter how fast and accurate the attack was, Eshita just had to keep away from directly in front of the enemy’s “hands”.
So she ran and tilted her body to step right without dropping her speed. Her running path skidded to the right and the water shell flew through the spot she had just vacated.
Is that thing a spirit? she wondered because even a spirit was capable of launching a shell like that.
The enemy clearly knew how to launch one, but it wasn’t powerful enough to influence the phase. In that case…
“Oops.”
Another shell was coming. So…
“Over here.”
Eshita launched herself along a path around the edge of the reservoir.
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A tree split.
“…!”
For just an instant, the branches creaked and the leaves rustled. The combination sounded an awful lot like a scream, but then the tree simply fell. All of the vibration traveled in a single direction and struck the wind.
That simple process happened again and again.
The water monster in the reservoir turned her feminine upper body while launching more water shells.
Instead of firing them one at a time, she loaded a dozen into the side of her arm and launched them all with a swing of her arm.
The tips were just as pointy as a real artillery shell, so the barrage pierced through the trees and tore into the air.
She swung both her arms, but despite the humanoid shape, she didn’t have a solid form. When she swung her hands like whips, the fingers would only have a clear form at the moment of casting. They would release her power and pursue the enemy.
Meanwhile, Eshita was running.
She circled the reservoir by taking quick steps and keeping ahead of the shells.
On occasion, the shells would predict her path and block her way ahead, but…
“That’s not going to work.”
She would take one stronger step and accelerate herself into a leap. However…
“–––––”
When the water monster turned to pursue Eshita, she did something else.
“How about this?”
Just as she dodged a water shell by surpassing its speed, she reached out a hand and collected it.
Then she swung her body. She used a midair spin to perform a sidearm throw of the shell she had scooped up.
“Here! This one’s got my power behind it! Can a spirit like you return it!?”
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A moment later, the water monster rearranged her body.
Specifically, her legs. Her serpentine legs had been fused with the reservoir water, but now eight legs sprang up on either side of her. And they gathered together to form a cannon on either side.
“–––––––!”
She now had a pair of 8-legged serpent leg cannons. Sharp panels too large to be scales stood up from the sides, but they closed from back to front and operated like a pile driver pushing the rear of the cannon forward.
At the same time, it launched something.
The line of pressure was much too great to call water anymore and it split right through Eshita’s return pitch.
“You can do that!?”
Color scattered in the spot Eshita had been in.
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