Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai:Memories of a Fallen Angel

Memories of a Fallen Angel

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As a citizen of darkness, ‘I’ entered a body in ‘this world’ in May. Just like everyone in the mirror world, I’m a ‘queen’, a ‘black beast’, and a ‘knight’, but in ‘this world’ I had no choice but to live a boring ‘human’ life. Now, the dimension where I’m currently residing is an old living room with a dark pillar.

That kind of room is a bit like my place from when I was the ‘black beast’. But despite a good amount of magical energy, those noisy creatures always rampaged day and night, which caused me a lot of stress.

I fell asleep because of the noise before, but now I had woken up.

—I took a look around.

The big standing mirror in front of me showed a body of a fifteen years old girl.

All she wore was her underwear.

Putting on my prepared contact lens, I stared back at myself on the mirror.

When I met with ‘the queen’ before, this child-like body was unable to take on my beauty and charm. All it could take were my long black hair and pure white skin.

“...Hmph.”

—I called this miserable body ‘Kuroneko’.

On TV, there were some animal-like figures, which were that girl’s ‘real self’.

I picked up the folded clothes by my feet, slowly and carefully putting them on.

They were black, just like those of 'the queen'. In some way, they were like combat gear.

And the truth is, ‘the queen’ did kill thousand of angels when she wore these clothes.

But although I was wearing the same clothes that ‘the queen’ wore when she went to the battlefield...

I didn’t even know what kind of enemy I was about to face.

It was in late May that I had joined the SNS group ‘Otaku Girls United’. Wanting information on the currently airing anime ‘Maschera ~Lament of the Fallen Beast~’, and having signed up to an SNS dedicated to that (and one that did not need invitations), I quickly joined several communities related to "Maschera". That girls-only otaku group was just one of them.

That day, too, I had been patrolling several communities at once, scrolling through topics.

Human tastes are so difficult to understand, I thought in a moment of brief joy.

Then—suddenly, a topic caught my attention.

“Tea party invitation.”

The way it was named was a sensitive spot of mine (if this topic was called ‘Offline invitation’, I would definitely not enter it). The one who posted it was ‘Saori’, this group’s administrator, a funny women who had an elegant and courteous attitude together with extensive otaku knowledge. She should be a university students or around that age, the indoor type, and have a mixed origin which gave her beautiful, pure white skin.

That was my first impression of ‘Saori’.

I thought that maybe this girl would be my first servant in the human world.

“...Hmph...tea party huh...”

Interested, I clicked on this topic. The content was within my expectations; in short, it said ‘We are going to have a offline party in a maid café at Akihabara’. But such simple words just like a hand gently covered my frozen heart.

—No, I should make it clearer.

For the ‘current me’, this event was a ‘stepping stone’ that happened one year before. Many might have forgotten about it. In short, after I joined this group, I became friend with ‘Saori’ and ‘someone I haven’t met’.

The day of the ‘tea party’. When I walked out of the entrance, behind me, my little sister called to me “Be careful on your way” and “Do your best”.

“...I’m going out. The meal is at its usual place. Make sure to wash your hand after eating.”

Such trivial interactions could cause a change in one’s destiny. That is what the ‘current me’ thinks.

Because if ‘me from that time’ took off her Maschera mask, then she would revert back to a hesitant, pathetic coward.

In my dark uniform, I arrived at the ‘Holy land’. The cursed sun burned on my skin. But it’s not unbearable. I put on a thin layer of magical aura to shield myself from the sun.

“...Oh...”

My sight was a bit fuzzy, but it was definitely not because of the heat. It was because of the air.

I elegantly walked to where we agreed to meet before the tea party—the JK bus station in Akihabara. It was a bit sooner than our agreed time, but there were some already there. I took a look around.

From the look of it...

“—Since there's not much time left, how about we take a walk later after the tea party?”

“I got it already. Beside, don’t get too close to me.”

There was a strange pair of lovers quarreling at the bus station.

“...This man...?”

I looked at them. Somehow, the man seemed familiar.

And I got the feeling that I have seen him recently...and not just once...but not matter how hard I thought, I couldn’t remember.

From his appearance, he is a high-schooler with a average body build. The only thing worth mentioning about him was his dull eyes and a bit of anxiousness in his voice.

And about the girl—

“Are you an idiot? Hurry up and go.”

She had an appearance that just showed off its glamor—or more accurately, no matter how you describe that figure, her simple existence gave off light. That moment I associated her with ‘UrielSeraph’ must be because my instincts as a ‘fallen angel’ recognized her as an ‘angel’ and an ‘enemy’. Her age should be a little more than mine; at least, she didn’t look younger than me. Slender and tall, along with a well-proportioned face, even a clown would feel inferior to her.

She is such an attractive girl, but also someone I couldn’t stand.

Her brown-dyed hair, a pair of earrings on her ears, and her long, polished nails—everything about her was an eyesore.

Besides, her clothes revealed a lot of skin. What a shameless girl.

To wear such a thing to Akihabara... Is she an idiot?

“Yeah, yeah—see you later.”

The man waved his hand at the girl and left. From an outsider point of view, it didn’t make any sense. If this was their date, then it would be very strange to leave on foot right next to a bus station.

Could it be that this girl is also taking part in the ‘tea party’?

“...Hmph... Impossible...how could that be.”

I smiled because of my hilarious thought.

Right then, the brown-haired girl who was sticking her tongue out at the back of the man turned to me.

(—What are you looking at? Want me to kill you?)

That was what her eyes told me.

“...Oh...”

What an idiotic girl... But your stare...is definitely not scary...

—No no no. It’s not scary at all! ...Hmph...because I’m ‘the queen’, a ‘black beast’ of ‘the knight’, ‘the fallen angel of Chiba’, an ‘S-class demon’. I will not lose—no matter what, so I stared back.

“Hmph!”

The brown-haired girl kept staring at me—then she looked to the side.

Such a horrible...no, such a nasty girl...

Just like water and oil, angel and demon.

‘We’ would automatically hate each other from our first look.

The worst possible first impression.

That was my and this girl—Kousaka Kirino’s fateful encounter.

I didn’t want to stand close to this brown-haired girl, so I walked away from the bus station.

At the same time, the brown-haired girl folded her arms and stood in the middle of the pathway.

She openly interfered with others who were moving.

Because she frequently looked at the time, she was probably waiting for someone else too.

“Hmph...could it be that because of that girl the others don’t want to get any closer?”

What an unbelievable imagination.

...And so.

I secretly looked for ‘Saori’. Of course, since we have never met before, I didn’t even know how she looked. But I knew what to look for.

Because she clearly stated what she would wear for today.

“Green clothing. Big glasses and tall body...huh.”

She must be what I imagined.

But—my expectation was totally destroyed.

Right when the meeting time arrived, a ‘giant’ appeared at the bus station.

It was absurd to call her a girl anymore.

She was like a titan.

180 centimeters tall, spiral glasses, plain shirt with the hem put inside her jeans—a typical otaku appearance.

The Atlastitan stood next to the brown-haired girl and waved her hand:

“Everyone who's taking part in the ‘Otaku Girl United” tea party—please come here!”

She was calling for the private group meeting.

“...Ah?”

The brown-haired girl was stunned. Even my eyes were about to pop of out their sockets.

Every other members taking part in this tea party were confused.

No one was brave enough to go anywhere close to such a big girl.

...Really... Green shirt...big glasses...tall... No doubt about it...

Everyone here must've thought ‘This can’t be true’ and wanted to get away.

“Ah? No one here yet? Hm hm—‘Otaku Girl United offline tea party’ over here! Everyone, over here! I’m the administrator of the group, Saori!”

...What... Just now...what did she say...?

...My bag had fallen on the ground.

First was the brown-haired girl, followed by several girls at the bus station. All of them fell on their asses, their mouths hanging open.

It was so unbelievable! Such a huge otaku girl is ‘Saori’?

...At least from their reactions, I knew that the brown-haired girl was going to take part in this tea party. But something even more surprising happened.

The brown-haired angel-like girl was the first to stand back up.

She didn’t pay any attention to her dirtied miniskirt, and asked:

“You...you are...‘Saori’?”

“That’s right.”

The titan in spiral glasses nodded. Then she pointed her finger at the sky in excitement.

“Everyone! Come with me to our meeting place!”

Such an order somehow made everyone relaxed.

The disorganized members gathered around her.

No one had any doubts anymore. Although we only knew her via the Internet, such charisma was enough to convince everyone that she was our leader.

“...”

I was unable to face such a dream-like scene. I held my right chest.

—I’m one of the members too.

Such a simply sentence, but until Saori called to me, I was unable to speak it out.

That was the first meeting between me and the titan—Saori.

Kirino and Saori.

Compared to after spending more than a year creating such a ‘bond’, at first I only called them ‘shining angel’ and ‘titan’.

I never told them—

That since our first meeting, they carved a sense of inferiority complex deep in my ‘heart world’.

The stir caused by Saori’s appearance soon died down. We started doing some offline activities. Some girls had started introducing each other. Of course, I didn’t join in with them.

Start a conversation with others yourself.

With only that, I found a tall obstacle in my path.

...But I had a secret plan. Heart throbbing, I waited for someone to talk to me—but why wasn’t anyone approaching at all?

“...Strange.”

I stayed up late last night to prepare these ‘charming black clothes’.

My forehead covered in sweat, I looked around in panic.

And then—

“Ah, aren’t these clothes cute? When I visited Harajuku before—”

“...Um...um...that...hey...”

“This is very popular now isn’t it? Right? When I went to Akihabara...”

Unlike me, the brown-haired girl was having a normal conversation with others.

...Sometimes, people would get along since their first meeting.

All it took was someone to speak first...

That was something I couldn’t do. I really admired that, but...

“Okay, talk about it later.”

“Ah? Ah—”

The one who was talking with the brown-haired girl spoke and escaped.

She clearly showed a ‘this girl is so annoying’ expression.

“Ah? Ah—why?”

The brown-haired girl didn’t understand what just happened, and had a confused expression.

“...Oh kuh kuh kuh...”

...A clueless bitch. From her clothes and her attitude, it was clear that she wasn’t used to Akihabara.

This time, I laughed from the bottom of my heart, unable to stop.

I felt better now, knowing that someone else wasn’t able to have a conversation with others either.

The one who gave me the worst first impression was the same as me, unable to talk with anyone else. I felt happy, just like electricity was running through my veins.

Maybe I was laughing too hard, as the brown-haired girl turned her head to me.

(...What are you laughing at? Annoying.)

I could feel this is what she wanted to say.

(...I don’t know what you are talking about? Don’t make a foolish statement.)

I also sent my thought back to her.

We stared at each other for a few minutes, until the atmosphere turned to almost unbearable.

Before the others felt that, Saori spoke:

“Everyone, let’s go to the maid café now! Please follow me!”

We both were affected by her loud voice, but we still stared at each other with unpleasant eyes.

“...”

“...”

Neither one of us had any intention of giving up. So when the pressure from the brown-haired girl disappeared, I almost lost balance.

We followed our group.

Our destination was the café ‘Lovely garden’.

“Alright, is everyone here—?”

Saori checked around, nodded “Alright” and walked into the café.

We followed her. In front of me, for some reason the brown-haired girl was looking around in a panic.

“Welcome back, master!”

After we went inside, some girls in maid outfits came and greeted us. From their professional conduct, it was clear that they had a lot of training. But since sewing is one of my hobbies, their clothes caught my attention.

—Good outfit, I thought, nodding.

Not only did it look cute, it was also practical and easy to move around in. Wearing a cute outfit and showing a bright smile—those maids made people envious.

Someday I wanted to wear that too... The thought crossed my mind for a second, before I shook my head and forgot it.

“Hmph...such clothes are not fitting for a citizen of darkness like me.”

I looked down and whispered. Because now it was very easy for others to hear my voice if I’m not careful.

Not everyone could worry about their own voice like that. If you wanted to practice, just record your own voice and listen to it later. The other girls smiled with me, which meant they agreed... Good.

My heart was racing. I was worried that someone would hear it right now.

“I have booked a seat here—gozaru...”

Saori spoke to the maid.

“Yes. What is your name, please?”

“Saori Bajeena.”

Saori openly spoke her name. Somehow, in an instant, her image turned into an aristocratic in my eyes. And at that moment—

Pfffff—! One man in a nearby table did a spit-take. He probably reacted after hearing Saori’s name... But although I had experienced ‘the difference between real life and imagination’ myself a while ago, for an outsider, that reaction is unbelievable.

“...Cough...cough...!?”

Everyone’s attention were upon him. Seeing how the maid treated him, some even sounded jealous.

“...That guy...what is he doing...idiot...”

I heard someone said that in the vicinity.

When my attention was still on that man, the others had been led to their seat.

...Ah...I shouldn’t do that...

Putting on a blank expression to hide my nervousness, I followed them to my seat.

Some girls were already talking with whoever sat next to them. But I had no interest in joining with that kind of conversation. Still, since this is a ‘tea party’, I didn’t mind speak my mind if they talked about ‘Maschera’. I looked for Saori’s seat, but both seats next to her had already been occupied. Ah...this can’t be helped, she was both our administrator and manager after all...

“Now...”

I looked around for a seat and sighed. There was only one seat left, which would undoubtedly attract less attention.

“...Ah...”

I was late.

During an offline meeting, where you sat at the beginning is the most important factor.

That was what was written last night on the ‘Guide to a successful offline meeting’ website. Since I had memorized them all, in theory I’m a professional in offline meeting.

“Um...that seat over here...”

“O-oh! I got it...”

Suddenly, someone speaking that caused me nearly to jump in surprise...

I pushed my anger down and sat on the remaining seat.

I bit on my tongue, taking a sip of water to prepare myself.

One of the most important factors during an offline meeting is to find someone you have no trouble talking to.

But things didn’t happen like I expected. My only connection to those people was Saori, so I had prepared myself to speak with her first before taking that momentum to join in others conversations. But this titan was busy speaking with others, and didn’t even look at me, not once.

—Please join in, Kuroneko-san—

...Even though I wanted you to say that. This is why they say humans have no manners...

Quickly, I started to regret joining in this ‘tea party’.

...Hmph...in the end...humans and demons are unable to understand each other...

The second good things in an offline meeting is to be able to keep talking with people around you.

If I could do that, then I would have no problems already. Whoever wrote that website is an idiot.

So I planned to use my best strategy.

To use a character from the masterpiece ‘Maschera’, the other me—‘the queen of darkness’. I specifically made her costume to use on this tea party.

Hey, this girl over there like Maschera too! Can I talk with you...?

I believed something like that would happen.

“...So why...”

Why had no one said anything? No, maybe no one here watched Maschera aside from me—but to think that I’m the only one who watched such masterpiece was unbelievable. If that was the case, then it’s understandable that no one noticed me.

“...Heh...those guides...are all useless...heh heh...”

I looked down and muttered. I felt like their gazes had disappeared.

...No one watched this masterpiece...such useless humans...

When I was about to show them my angry-filled gaze—

Next to me, someone started talking about Maschera.

“Although they said Maschera season 2 is bad, I still like it.”

“Me too. The characters are so moe, the plot is so moe, it's really better than the previous season! Lucifer-sama's brave acts are so cool!”

“I know, right! Because I watched Lucifer-sama gain emotions, seeing the latest development with committing NTR made my chest tight!”

...

I heard them talk about Maschera’s charm, but...

I had thought of something to say, but I couldn’t voice it out. I looked down instead.

I wanted the time to pass as fast as possible. Hurry up and end this offline meeting. I shouldn’t have come here in the first place...

I could only use my cell phone to check the Internet and try to endure this hell-like atmosphere.

The scene is similar to one of my nightmares—my classroom in school.

Oh...right now I was being assaulted by realistic girls! It was worse than having to deal with low-class demons! At least I could use my ‘dark power’ to protect the others. Let my negative feelings turn into a bomb and blow everything away! Everyone who ignored me should just die already!

Hahahaha... Curse you. Curse you. Whether in sleep or while awake, I curse you—

“...”

No one answered me. Even if someone did, I wouldn’t respond. My eyes swept over each of them.

Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell.

When I reached the fourth girl, I noticed that there was one girl who was isolated like me.

That was the brown-haired girl. On the way to this place, she was making some small talk while frantically looking around. Now she was like a statue, unable to say anything.

“...Hm. That is expected. She reaps what she sowed.”

Despite what I said, somehow my chest hurt. I should be happy because someone else was isolated like me...

The lonely figure of the brown-haired girl—is familiar.

Still, I had no intention of speaking with her. If we were siting next to each other—no, we were similar. Because how shy I am, no matter how much preparation I had, I couldn’t speak out. Maybe she sensed my gaze, that girl looked at me.

“...”

Our eyes met for a second, before I looked away.

And then—I noticed another familiar face in the cafe.

That was the man who had reacted earlier. He was the one I saw at the bus station.

...This man...came here together with this brown hair girl?

It happened so fast, but despite that he was eating, I could tell that he was worried about the brown-haired girl. Seeing her looking down in grief, he himself looked like he was about to cry too.

...I see. So that explained it.

...What a cunning woman, asking your lover to come with you.

I was fighting alone, but...very clever!

As usual, I couldn’t bring myself to like this girl—

“—The tea party today is coming to and end! Although we are going our separate ways later, I hope we could meet again for a second or a third time! The next meeting will be posted on the group homepage too, so make sure to join us again! Now—dismissed!”

Finally, the painful offline meeting was over. I quickly left my seat and walked away. Behind me, I could hear them talk “Where should we go next” or “What would we do next time” with their newfound friends.

Those conversations—are totally unrelated to me.

My patience was at its limit. I didn’t want to spend even one more second here.

I unconsciously ran toward the bus station.

“Ah...ah...ah...”

The weak human body soon reached its limit. If I used my demonic power, I could turn back into a beast, but I couldn’t do it now.

“Ku...”

—Tears fell down from my eyes. What am I doing...?

I placed one hand on the wall to regain my breath when suddenly my cell phone vibrated.

“...Who are you?”

“Ruri-nee? It’s me.”

“...Eh?”

The call was from the elder of my younger sisters.

“Is something wrong?”

“No...ah... Just now...did you have fun at the offline meeting?”

...Idiot.

“...Of course I had fun! I found some more friends who shared my hobby, and we're going to spend some time more together.”

“Wow, I see.”

“Yes, so I might come back late tonight.”

“Alright.”

“I'll be going, then.”

“Ahh...so the offline meeting really went well. ...That's good.”

“...What do you mean by that?”

“Because...Ruri-nee is so shy! So I was worried that you would be too nervous.”

“...Idiot. I haven't fallen so low that I have to ask my little sister to help.”

“Right right. Sorry. Then I won’t trouble you anymore. I’m hanging up now. Please enjoy your time together!”

“Sure.”

With a beep, the call ended.

“...Ah...”

I crouched down on the spot.

Just now...just now...I tried to show off again.

But...I couldn’t tell my little sister that...I run away from the offline meeting.

What a shame...

I tried to prevent tear froms falling down and thought...that the useless me is not the real me.

The real me had great strength. Noble and arrogant, too... And no one looked down on me. But that is ‘me from the other world’. ‘Me in this world’ is a mere human. So—

...I should spend some time outside.

At least I can protect my little sister’s small happiness... That's all I could do.

When I was thinking that...

A huge shadow suddenly surrounded me, just like the sun being suddenly devoured.

“...?”

I turned around and saw the titan girl earlier look at me.

“Ah...that’s good... I finally caught up with you...”

“Ah, you are...”

“Kuroneko-shi! I’m Saori-gozaru... You do understand me, right?”

“Eh? Ah...um...”

How could I forget such huge creature!

I just surprised because of her sudden appearance.

“I came here for you...!”

Saori suddenly grabbed my shoulders.

“Ah! What...wait!”

Scary!

I wanted to run away, but the difference between our bodies is too big, so escape was impossible.

“Ah...Sorry.”

Hearing that, Saori released my shoulders.

What did she have in mind? She was probably laughing at me earlier, so why did she chase after me like that...? I don’t get it.

“...What do you want?”

I carefully asked. Saori wiped her sweat, took a deep breath and said:

“Um...”

Her month twisted into a ω shape.

“—Actually, I wanted to invite Kuroneko-shi to a ‘second meeting’.”

“...Me? Why?”

“I want to have a little talk with you. Just now, because we sat too far away from each other, we were unable to talk.”

“...So...why?”

Why am I being so stubborn? I hadn’t even listened to her.

“...I need a reason?”

“Yes.”

“Hm...”

Hearing my question, Saori didn’t immediately answer. She looked like she was thinking hard. Her expression somehow seemed familiar...why?

“Because we are similar.”

“...Don’t say something so stupid.”

Similar? You and me? Where? We’re totally opposite.

I returned mock laughter. But Saori didn’t change her expression. Instead, she countered with something more unbelievable:

“—Can I become your friend?”

Until now, I still didn’t get it. How could such a simple smile sound so believable?

“...What did you just say?”

“Heehee, I won’t say it again.”

“...”

“So, Kuroneko-shi, can you come to this second meeting?”

Somehow, I was unable to refuse her request.

Just now, didn’t I wish to end this as fast as possible?

Did I feel happy because I saw Saori again?

Or—

Because her true feelings moved me?

The truth is, there is no right or wrong answer. My feeling was a mess back then, so I couldn’t find out the real reason.

But—I couldn’t keep up my stubborn refusal.

“Is there...anyone else?”

“I and Kuroneko-shi...and I planned to invite Kiririn-shi.”

—My heart skipped a beat. That was the first time I felt this way at a offline meeting.

At first, I thought ‘a little special’...

“...Handle name, Kuroneko.”

“Ah...I...I’m Kiririn. Please...pleased to meet you.”

Thinking back, what I felt back then—

It must be ...My hidden precognition.

Translator's Notes

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