Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai:Memories of a Fallen Angel

Memories of a Fallen Angel

As a citizen of darkness, ‘I’ entered a body in ‘this world’ in May. Just like everyone in the mirror world, I’m a ‘queen’, a ‘black beast’, and a ‘knight’, but in ‘this world’ I had no choice but to live a boring ‘human’ life. Now, the dimension where I’m currently residing is an old living room with a dark pillar.

That kind of room is a bit like my place from when I was the ‘black beast’. But despite a good amount of magical energy, those noisy creatures always rampaged day and night, which caused me a lot of stress.

I fell asleep because of the noise before, but now I had woken up.

--- I took a look around.

The big standing mirror in front of me showed a body of a fifteen years old girl.

All she wore was her underwear.

Putting on my prepared contact lens, I stared back at myself on the mirror.

When I met with ‘the queen’ before, this child-like body was unable to take on my beauty and charm. All it could take were my long black hair and pure white skin.

“...Hmph.”

--- I called this miserable body ‘Kuroneko’.

On TV, there were some animal-like figures, which were that girl’s ‘real self’.

I picked up the folded clothes by my feet, slowly and carefully putting them on.

They were black just like 'the queen's'. In some way, they were like combat gear.

And the truth is, ‘the queen’ did kill thousand of angels when she wore these clothes.

But although I was wearing the same clothes that ‘the queen’ wore when she went to the battlefield...

I didn’t even know what kind of enemy I was about to face.

It was in late May that I had joined the SNS group ‘Otaku Girls United’. I, who had signed up to an SNS for collecting information about the airing anime ‘Maschera ~Lament of the Fallen Beast~’ (and one that did not need invitations), quickly joined several communities related to "Maschera". That girls-only otaku group was just one of them.

That day, too, I had been patrolling several communities at once, scrolling through topics.

Human tastes are so difficult to understand, I thought before something showed me a brief joy.

There—ｓuddenly, a topic caught my attention.

“Tea party invitation.”

The way it was named was a sensitive spot of mine (if this topic was called ‘Offline invitation’, I would definitely not enter it). The one who posted it was ‘Saori’, this group’s administrator, a funny women who had an elegant and courteous attitude together with extensive otaku knowledge. She should be a university students or around that age, the indoor type, and have a mixed origin which gave her beautiful, pure white skin.

That was my first impression of ‘Saori’.

I thought that maybe this girl would be my first servant in the human world.

“...Hm...tea party huh...”

Interested, I clicked on this topic. The content was within my expectations; in short, it said ‘We are going to have a offline party in a maid café at Akihabara’. But such simple words just like a hand gently covered my frozen heart.

---- No, I should make it clearer.

For the ‘current me’, this event was a ‘stepping stone’ that happened one year before. Many might have forgotten about it. In short, after I joined this group, I became friend with ‘Saori’ and ‘someone I haven’t met’.

The day of the ‘tea party’. When I walked out of the entrance, behind me, my little sister called to me “Be careful on your way” and “Do your best”.

“...I’m going out. The meal is at its usual place. Make sure to wash your hand after eating.”

Such trivial interactions could cause a change in one’s destiny. That is what the ‘current me’ thinks.

Because if ‘me from that time’ took off her Maschera mask, then she would revert back to a hesitant, pathetic coward.

In my dark uniform, I arrived at the ‘Holy land’. The cursed sun burned on my skin. But it’s not unbearable. I put on a thin layer of magical aura to shield myself from the sun.

“...Oh...”

My sight was a bit fuzzy, but it was definitely not because of the heat. It was because of the air.

I elegantly walked to where we agreed to meet before the tea party—the JK bus station in Akihabara. It was a bit sooner than our agreed time, but there were some already there. I took a look around.

From the look of it...

“—Since there is not much time left, how about we take a walk later after the tea party?”

“I got it already. Beside, don’t get too close to me.”

There was a strange pair of lovers quarreling at the bus station.

“...This man...?”

I looked a them. Somehow, the man seemed familiar.

And I got the feeling that I have seen him recently…and not just once…but not matter how hard I think, I couldn’t remember.

From his appearance, he is a high schooler with a average body build. The only thing worth mentioning about him was his dull eyes and a bit of anxious in his voice.

And about the girl ---

“Are you an idiot? Hurry up and go.”

She was very eye-catching – or more accurately, her simply existense was so bright that made people think of her as ‘shining angel’. Maybe my instinct as ‘fallen angel’ recognized her as ‘angel’ and ‘enemy’. She was about my age, but she was taller. Her perfect appearance and attitude would even made a toad feel inferior.

She is such attractive girl, but also someone I couldn’t stand.

Her brown dyed hair, a pair of earring on her ears and her long polish nails – everything of her were an eyeshore.

Beside, her clothes revealed a lot of skin. What a shameless girl.

To wear such thing to Akihabra …. Is she an idiot?

“Yeah yeah --- see you later.”

The man waved his hand at the girl and left. From an outsider point of view, it didn’t make any sense. If this was their date, then it would be very strange to leave on foot right next to a bus station.

Could it be this girl is also take part in this ‘tea party’?

“…..Hm…Impossible…how could that be.”

I smiled because of my hilarious thought.

Right then, the brown haired girl who was sticking her tougue out at the back of the man turned to me.

( -- What are you looking at? Want me to kill you?)

That was what her eyes told me.

“…Oh…”

What an idiot girl…But your stare…is defintely not scary…

--- No no no. It’s not scary at all! ….Hm…because I’m ‘the queen’, ‘black beast’ of ‘the knight’, ‘the fallen angel of Chiba’, ‘S-class demon’. I will not lose – no matter what, so I stared back.

“Hmph!”

The brown hair girl kept staring at me – then she looked to the side.

Such horrbile…no, such nastly girl…

Just like water and oil, angel and demon.

‘We’ would automatically hate each other from our first look.

The worst possible first impression.

That was my and this girl – Kousaka Kirino’s fateful encounter.

I didn’t want to stand close to this brown hair girl, so I walked away from the bus station.

While the brown hair girl folded her arms and stood in the middle of the pathway.

She openly interfere with others who was moving.

Because she frequently looked at the time, so she was probably waiting for someone else too.

“Hm….could it be that because of that girl the other didn’t want to get any closer?”

What an unbelievable imagination.

…And so.

I secretly looked for ‘Saori’. Of course, since we have never meet before, I didn’t even know how she look. But I knew what to look for.

Because she clearly stated what she would wear for today.

“Green clothing. Big glassess and tall body…huh.”

She must be what I imagined.

But --- my expectation was totally destroyed.

Right when the meeting time arrived, a ‘giant’ appeared at the bus station.

It was absurd to call her a girl anymore.

She was like a titan.

180 centimeter tall, spiral glasses, plain skirt with the hem put inside her jeans – a typical otaku apperance.

The titan stood next to the brown hair girl and waved her hand:

“Everyone who take part in ‘otaku girl united!” tea party - please come here!”

She was giving the word for a group privated meeting.

“…….Ah?”

The brown hair girl was stunned. Even my eyes were about to pop of out its socket.

Every other members who took part in this tea party were confused.

No one was brave enough to go anywhere close to such a big girl.

….Really…. Green skirt….Big glassess…Tall….no doubt about it…

Everyone here must thought ‘this can’t be true’ and wanted to get away.

“Ah? No one here yet? Hm hm --- ‘otaku girl united offline tea party’ over here! Everyone, over here! I’m the administrator of the group, Saori!”

…What….just now…what did she say…?

….My bag had fallen on the ground.

First was the brown hair girl, followed by several girls at the bus station. All of them fell on the ass, their mouth hanged open.

It was so unbelievable! Such huge otaku girl is ‘Saori’?

….At least from their reactions, I knew that the brown hair girl was going to take part in this tea party. But something even more surprised happened.

The brown hair angel like girl was the first to stand back up.

She didn’t pay any attention to her dirtied miniskirt, she asked:

“You…you are…’Saori’?”

“That’s right.”

The titan in spiral glassess nodded. Then she pointed her finger at the sky in excitement.

“Everyone! Come with me to our meeting place!”

Such order somehow made everyone relaxed.

The disorganized members gathered around her.

No one have any doubt anymore. Although we only knew her via Internet, but such charisma was enough to convince everyone that she is our leader.

“……….”

I was unable to face such dream-like scene.I held my right chest.

--- I’m one of the members too.

Such a simply sentense, but until Saori called to me, I was unable to speak it out.

That was my first meeting between me and the titan – Saori.

Kirino and Saori.

Compare to after spending more than a year to create such ‘bond’, at first I only called them ‘shining angel’ and ‘titan’.

I never told them ----

Since our first meeting, they carved a sense of inferiority complex deep in my ‘heart world’.

The stir caused by Saori’s apperance soon died down. We started doing some offline acitivities. Some girls had started introducing each other. Of course, I didn’t join in with them.

Only response when someone talked with me

That was the only way for me to face the current situation.

…But I got a secret plan. I waited for someone to talk with me, but somehow no one said anything to me.

“…Strange.”

I stayed up late last night to prepare this ‘charming black clothes’.

My forehead was covered in sweat, I panickly looked around.

And then ----

“Ah, isn’t this clothes cute? When I visited Harajuku before ---“

“…Um…um…that….hey….”

“This is very popular now isn’t it? Right? When I went to Akihabara….”

Unlike me, the brown hair girl was having a normal conversation with others.

….Some time, people would get along since their first meeting.

All it took is someone to speak first…

That was something I couldn’t do. I really admired that, but…

“Okay, talk about it later.”

“Ah? Ah –“

The one who was talking with the brown hair girl spoke and escaped.

She clearly showed ‘this girl is so annoying’ expression.

“Ah? Ah – why?”

The brown hair girl didn’t understand what just happen, she was having a confused expression.

“…Oh kuh kuh kuh….”

….A clueless bitch. From her clothes and her attitude, it was clear that she wasn’t used to Akihabara.

This time, I laughed from the bottom of my heart, unable to stop.

I felt better now, knowing that someone else aside from me wasn’t able to have a conversation with others.

The one who gave me the worst first impression was the same with me, unable to talk with anyone else. I felt happy, just like electricity was running in my vein.

Maybe I was laughing too hard, the brown hair girl turned her head to me.

(…What are you laughing at? Annoying.)

I could feel this is what she wanted to say.

(…I don’t know what are you talking about? Don’t make foolish statement.)

I also sent my thought back to her.

We stared at each others for a few minutes, until the atmosphere turned to almost unbearable.

Before the other felt that, Saori spoke:

“Everyone, let’s go to the maid café now! Please follow me!”

We both were affected by her loud voice, but we still stared at each other with unpleasant eyes.

“………..”

“………..”

No one had any intention of giving up. So when the pressure from the brown hair girl disappeared, I almost lost balance.

We followed our group.

Our destination is the café ‘Lovely garden’.

“Alright, is everyone here –“

Saori checked around, nodded “Alright” and walked into the café.

We followed her. In front of me, somehow the brown hair girl was panickly looking around.

“Welcome back! Master!”

After we went inside, some girls in maid outfit came and greet us. From their professional way, it was clear that they had a lot of training. But since sewing is one of my hobby, their clothes caught my attention.

---- Good outfit. I nodded alone.

Not only it looked cute, but it was also practical and one can easy to move around wearing them. Wearing cute outfit and showing a bright smile – those maid made people envious.

Someday I want to wear that too….the thought crossed my mind for a second, before I shook my head and forgot it.

“Hm…such clothes is not fitting for a citizen of darkness like me.”

I looked down and whispered. Because now it was very easy for other to hear my voice if I’m not careful.

Not everyone could worry about their own voice like that. If you want to practice, just record your own voice and listen to it later. The other girls smiled with me, which mean they agreed…Good.

My heart was racing. I was worried that someone would hear it right now.

“I have booked a seat here – gozaru….”

Saori spoke to the maid.

“Yes. What is your name, please?”

“Saori Bajeena.”

Saori openly spoke her name. Somehow, in an instant, her image turned into a aristocratic in my eyes. And at that time ---

Pfffff ---! One man in a nearby table spit take. He probably reached after hearing Saori’s name…Although I had experienced ‘the different between real life and imagination’ a while ago, but for an outsider, that reaction is unbelievable.

“…Cough…Cough…!?”

Everyone’s attention were upon him. Seeing that the maid treated him, some even sounded jealous.

“…This guy…what is he doing…idiot…”

I heard someone said that in the vicinity.

When my attention was still on that man, the others had been led to their seat.

…Ah…I shouldn’t do that…

Put on a blank expression to hide my nervous, I followed them to my seat.

Some girls had already talking with whoever sat next to them. But I had no interest in joining with that kind of conversation. Still, since this is a ‘tea party’, I don’t mind speak my mind if they talked about ‘Maschera’. I looked for Saori’s seat, but both seats next to her had already been occupied. Ah…this can’t be help, she is both our administrator and manager after all….

“Now...”

I looked around for a seat and sighed. There was only one seat left, which would undoubtly attract the less attention.

“…..Ah..”

I was late.

During an offline meeting, where you sat at the beginning is the most important factor.

That was what wrote last night on ‘Guide to a successful offline meeting’ website. Since I had memorized them all, so in theory I’m a professional in offline meeting.

“Eh….that seat over here…”

“I got it…”

Suddenly, someone spoke that caused me nearly to jump in surprise…

I pushed my anger down and sat on the remaining seat.

I bited on my tougue, took a slip of water to prepare myself.

“One of the most important factors during an offline meeting is to find someone you have no trouble talking to.”

But things didn’t happen like I expected. My only connection to those people is Saori, so I had prepared myself to speak with her first then took that momentum to join in other’s conversation. But this titan was busy speaking with others, she didn’t even look at me, not once.

--- Please join in, Kuroneko-san.

…Although I knew it was such a word of kindness.

Quickly, I started to regret joining in this ‘tea party’.

…Hm…in the end…human and demon are unable to understand each others…

“The second good things in an offline meeting is to be able to keep talking with people around you.”

If I could do that, then I would have no problem already. Whoever wrote that website is an idiot.

So I planed to use my best strategic.

Using a character from the masterpiece ‘Maschera’, another me – ‘ the queen of darkness’. I specific made her costume to use on this tea party.

“Hey, this girl over there like Maschera too! Can I talk with you ….”

I believed something like that would happen.

“….So why…”

Why no one said anything? No, maybe no one here watch Maschera aside from me – but to think that I’m the only one who watch such masterpiece is unbelievable. If that is the case, then it’s understandable that no one noticed me.

“….Hm…those guide…are all useless…hmph hmph….”

I looked down and muttered. I felt like their gaze had disppeared.

…No one watch this masterpiece…such useless human….

When I was about to show them my angry-filled gaze ----

Next to me, someone started talking about Maschera.

“Although they said Maschera season 2 is bad, but I still like it.”

“Me too. Shinya and the other characters is much more moe than the previous season! Lucifer-sama is so cool, that spineless boy is no match for him”

“I know, right! I had switched to Lucifer-sama side too. Recently, I felt like the show had turned into a NTR show.”

“…………”

I heard them talked about Maschera’s charm, but….

I had thought of something to say, but I couldn’t voice it out. I looked down instead.

I wanted the time to past as fast as possible. Hurry up and end this offline meeting. I shouldn’t come here in the first place…

I could only use my cell phone to check over the Internet and tried to endure this hell-like atmosphere.

The scene is similar to one of my nightmare – my classroom in school.

Oh…..right now I was being assaulted by realistic girl! It was worse than having to deal with low-class demon! At least I could use my ‘dark power’ to protect the others. Let me nagative feeling turned into a bomb and blew everything away! Everyone who ignored me should just die already!

….Curse…Curse…Curse….

“………..”

No one answered me. Even if someone did, I wouldn’t respond. My eyes swept in each of them..

Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell.

When I reached the fourth girl, I noticed that there was one girl who was isolated like me.

That was the brown hair girl. On the way to this place, she was having some small conversation while panickly looking around. Now she is like a statue, unable to say anything.

“..Hm. That is expected. She reaps what she sowed.”

Despite what I said, somehow my chest hurt. I should be happy because someone else was isolated like me…

The lonely figure of the brown hair girl – is familiar.

Still, I had no intention of speaking with her. If we were siting next to each other – no, we were similair. Because how shy I’m, no matter how much preparation I had, I couldn’t speak it out. Maybe she sensed my gaze, that girl looked at me.

“……….”

Our eyes meet for a second, before I looked away.

And then – I noticed another familiar face in the cafe.

That was the man who spited earlier. He was the one I saw at the bus station.

…This man…came here together with this brown hair girl?

It happened so fast, but despite that he was eating, I could tell that he was worried about the brown hair girl. Seeing her looking down with in grief, he himself looked like he was about to cry too.

….I see. So that explained it.

….What a cunning woman, ask your lover to come with you.

I was fighting alone, but….very clever!

As usual, I couldn’t bring myself to like this girl ---

“ – The tea party today is coming to and end! Although we are going separate way later, but I hope we could meet again for a second or a third time! The next meeting will be posted on the group homepage too, so make sure to join us again! Now – dismissed.

Finally, the painfully offline meeting is over. I quickly leave my seat and walk away. Behind me, I could hear they talked ‘Where should we go next’ or ‘What would we do next time’ with their new found friends.

Those conversation --- is totally unrelated to me.

My patient is at its limit. I don’t want to spend even one more second here.

I unconsciously run toward the bus station.

“Ah…ah…ah….”

The weak human body soon reachs its limit. If I used my demonic power, I could turn back into a beast, but I couldn’t do it now.

“Kuh….”

--- Tear fall down from my eyes. What am I doing….

I placed one hand on the wall to regain my breathing when suddenly my cell phone vibarated.

“…Who are you?”

“Ruri-nee? It’s me.”

“..Eh?”

That is the my big girl little sister.

“Is something wrong?”

“No…ah...just now…did you have fun at the offline meeting?”

….Idiot.

“…Of course I had fun! I knew some more friends who shared my hobby ~ we are going to spend some time more together.”

“Wow, I see.”

“Yes, so I might come back late tonight.”

“Alright.”

“Please.”

“Say…is the offline meeting…really went well?”

“…What do you mean by that?”

“Because…Ruri-nee is so shy! So I was worried that you would be too nervous.”

“…Idiot. I’m not fall so low that I have to ask my little sister to help.”

“Right right. Sorry. Then I won’t trouble you anymore. I’m hanging up now. Please enjoy your time together!”

“Sure.”

Beep beep, the call ended.

“…Ah…”

I crouched down on the spot.

Just now…just now…I tried to show off again.

But…I couldn’t tell my little sister that…I run away from the offline meeting.

What a shame…..

I tried to prevent tear from falling down and think….that useless me is not the real me

The real me have strong power, noble and arrogant. No one will look down on me. But that is ‘me in the other world’. ‘Me in this world’ is a mere human. So ----

….I should spend sometime outside.

At least I could protect my little sister’s small happiness…That would all I could do.

When I was thinking that…

A huge shadow suddenly surronded me, just like the sun was suddenly devoured.

“….?”

I turned around and see the titan girl earlier looked at me.

“Ah…That’s good…I finally caught up with you…”

“Ah, you are….”

“Kuroneko-shi! I’m Saori…-gozaru.”

“Eh? Ah…um…”

How could I forget such huge creature!

I just surprised because of her sudden appearance.

“I come here for you…!”

Saori suddenly grabbed my shoulders.

“Ah! What…wait!”

Scary!

I wanted to run away, but the different between our body is too big, so escape is impossible.

“Ah…Sorry.”

Hearing that, Saori released my shoulders.

What does she have in mind? She was probably laughing at me earlier, so why did she chase after me like that….I don’t get it.

“…What do you want?”

I carefully asked. Saori wiped her sweat, took a deep breath and said:

“Um…”

Her month twisted into a shape.

“--- Actually, I wanted to invite Kuroneko-shi to a ‘second meeting’.”

“…Me? Why?”

“I want to have a little talk with you. Just now, because we sat too far away from each other, we were unable to talk.”

“…So…why?”

Why am I so stubborn? I didn’t even listen to her.

“…I need a reason?”

“Yes.”

“Hmph…”

Hearing my question, Saori didn’t immediately answer. She looked like she was thinking hard. Her expression somehow seemed familiar…why?

“Because we are similar.”

“….Don’t say something so stupid.”

Similar? You and me? Where? It’s totally opposite.

I returned the mock laughter. But Saori didn’t change her expression. Instead, she countered with something more unbelievable:

“---Can I become your friend?”

Until now, I still don’t get it. How could such simple smiling sounded so believable.

“…What did you just say?”

“Heehee, I won’t say it again.”

“……”

“So, Kuroneko-shi, can you come to this second meeting?”

Somehow, I was unable to refuse her request.

Just now, didn’t I wish to end this as fast as possible?

Did I feel happy because I saw Saori again?

Or ----

Because of her true feeling moved me?

The truth is, there is no right or wrong answer. My feeling was a mess back then, so I couldn’t find out the real reason.

But – I couldn’t keep up my stubborn refusal.

“Is there…anyone else?”

“I and Kuroneko-shi…and I planed to invite Kiririn-shi.”

-- My heart skipped a beat. That was the first time I felt this way at a offline meeting.

At first, I thought ‘a little special’…

“…Handle name, Kuroneko.”

“Ah….I…I’m Kiririn. Please…please to meet you.”

Thinking back, what I felt back then…

It must be …my hidden precognition …

Notes

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