Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru:Volume 3.1 Short Story
Short Story When I Date my Childhood Friend, My Girlfriend Gets Angry
Six years after I graduated from Hanenoyama Prefectural High School.
I—Kidou Eita, am twenty-four years old. I have outgrown my youth, and am now a grown man.
This past spring, I starting dating my childhood friend, Harusaki Chiwa.
My efforts from the past have paid off, as I passed the national examination for doctoral qualifications. Chiwa had arranged a party for the two of us in celebration, and confessed to me during that time.
｢Are you finished?｣
｢This mood, I can’t put up with it anymore.｣
｢I like you, Ei-kun—please go out with me.｣
I looked at Chiwa’s two tearful eyes, and nodded silently.
After so many years of having an ｢Anti-Love｣ philosophy, I was finally over it.
I walked with Chiwa in a nearby boulevard with cherry blossoms in full bloom.
It was right after noon on the last Sunday of March. There was no trace of the seemingly endless winter, and the weather was genially warm. Petals fell from the sky as if they were blessing our future.
"I’m not asking this for any particular reason……"
Chiwa seemed to have difficult raising the subject as she bowed her head. Then she looked in my eyes and said,
"What happened to Natsukawa Masuzu?"
"You’re asking what happened to her......"
I tilted my head, confused. Why did she ask me this kind of thing now?
"After that girl finished her first year in high school, she went home abroad. Since then, I haven’t heard anything from her, these past six years."
When Masuzu returned abroad, I found this out from her the class rep.
Without saying a word, not even a farewell or an explanation, Masuzu disappeared from my eyes.
"So, you never officially broke up with her at all?"
"No, we broke up already."
"When did you come to that conclusion?"
I used to be Masuzu’s fake boyfriend, so in other words, we were never a real couple in the first place.
If I explained this to Chiwa now, it might be too complicated……
"See how she didn’t even contact me once in six years? She definitely forgot about me."
"Don’t worry about it. It’s no problem, so leave it to me."
Chiwa smiled sweetly and grasped my hand, causing my heart to be filled with warm things.
Well, who knew that love wasn’t that bad at all—
A few days later, during the night.
After I went out drinking with my college friends, I was walking on the night street feeling a little drunk.
The chilly night that blew on my hot face felt very comfortable, and I felt like the dark night road seemed to full with hope.
My dream to become a doctor, while getting a lovely girlfriend.
Maybe I was at the peak of my life—
In front of me, there was a slender silhouette slowly swaying.
Silver hair and her dress drifting in the wind.
"......Could that be......"
In the dim streetlight, flickers of blue eyes shined.
I remembered staring into those eyes every day of high school—accompanied with a feeling of terror.
"Long time no see, Eita-kun."
In a very nostalgic action, Natsukawa Masuzu tilted her head slightly and smiled.
These six years, her beauty seemed to have climbed new heights. Mixed with her alluring teenage appeal, was a new element of mature womanhood, which emanated an aura of dazzlingly beauty. It was gorgeousness that even caused chills, which made one wonder if she had magic for beauty as she lived among ordinary people.
"Hehe, your expression looks like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you that surprised?"
"Of course I’m surprised! What have you been doing for these past six years?"
"Ah, distributing candy to children around the world."
"What kind of dream job is that?!"
This energetic way of chatting reminded me of the past.
"Starting today, I will be returning to this little town, so please take care ♪."
"Thank you, wait, wait a minute!"
"I was originally worried about what I’d do if Eita moved away? But this is great, I can flirt like I used to now."
"I said wait!"
My drunkenness completely disappeared.
"What do you mean when you say, flirting? I don’t intend to play the role of your fake-boyfriend anymore."
"Then we don’t have a reason to meet anymore?"
Masuzu inched closer to a confused me, and pressed her chest against mine.
I was tightly squished by a certain body part that had grown significantly larger since before, making me unable to breath.
"I like you."
"I really like you, Kidou Eita."
"Let me be your real, genuine girlfriend now."
The so-called short-circuit from over-thinking things had this meaning.
"W-W-W-W-Wait, wait, you like me? What are you talking about?"
"When I left you, I discovered my true feelings for you."
"Don’t make it so simple! Didn’t you used to be ｢Anti-Love｣?
"Eh? What’s that? Is it something you can eat?"
"You actually intend to completely deny our high school life!?"
For example, The Society for Bringing Out Your Maiden Self, and all those sorts of things.
What was this? Our three years……
"W-What changed you like this?"
"Of course it’s what I feel towards Eita—love......"
Masuzu blushed, ｢Yeah ♪.｣ Who was this girl? She isn’t the Masuzu that I remember.
I was determined to tell her the truth.
"I’ve already started dating Chiwa! So I can’t go out with you!"
The wind howled.
The wind curled up her silver hair, blew up the hem of her skirt, and I saw some of her bare calf.
She wasn’t wearing any knee socks, so it felt rather empty.
" —With Harusaki-san? Ah, I see—"
Masuzu calmly said.
She gave a ｢tsk｣ sound, which didn’t match her image as a beautiful woman.
"Although this is very sudden, Harusaki-san is ugly."
"You’re overdoing this, Masuzu—!"
"She’s nothing like Johnny Depp!"
"She doesn’t need to be like him! If she were, it’d make me worried!"
"She’s short, flat-chested, and lacks the charm of a woman. In this respect, I’m better, right? If it’s Eita, you can use my body wherever you like"
I remembered the feeling of her chest from moments ago. Although I was shaken, reason will always prevail.
"The hands of the clock cannot move backwards, so forget me."
"How can you......"
Masuzu fell to her knees and began sobbing.
I was unable to look down, and left just like that.
Bastard, how could it turn into this......
When I got home, Chiwa was sewing the living room.
"I'm back ~......"
"Welcome back. How do you? You look exhausted......"
｢Look!｣ Chiwa said, and handed me the white shirt I wore for my internship.
"Your button came off, so I stitched it back."
"Ah, thanks for your help."
I pushed my exhaustion to the corner of my heart, and tried to squeeze out a smile.
Then Chiwa gave a ｢sniff｣ sound.
"......There’s a smell."
"Right, alcohol right? We had a drinking party today."
Her nose sniffing, she leaned closer to me and said,
"It’s Natsukawa Masuzu’s smell."
Chiwa seemed just about to cry as she questioned me,
"Why do you have that woman’s scent? You two met, right?"
"N-no! It was a coincidental encounter, and we only chatted a little! That's all."
"You’re lying! How can you coincidentally encounter someone after not talking for six years?!"
"It’s true! Believe me!"
I grabbed Chiwa’s shoulder.
"I definitely wouldn’t let a girlfriend so important to me cry."
"......Can I, believe you?"
"Idiot, that’s obvious, isn’t it?"
I said, stroking Chiwa’s head. She finally smiled.
"Ei-kun, I prepared the bath water already. Do you want to wash?"
"Okay, I’ll go then. Thank you."
I sighed, and prepared to walk out of the living room.
"Ei-kun, what’s that?"
Chiwa said, pointing at my lower body.
"These? I wore these pants before?"
These were a pair of brown khaki pants I bought a month ago. They weren't damaged or dirty at all.
"No, I mean your butt. Your butt pocket."
I put my hand into my rear pocket, and touched something smooth.
What is this? I clearly didn’t remember putting anything like this in my pocket.
I pulled it out, thinking I wanted to have a look—
"W-What is this?"
It was a crumpled up pair of black knee stockings.
And it had still the warmth from being recently taken off.
"W-Why is this in my pocket?!"
Chiwa stared at me with gloomy eyes, and said,
"Don’t play dumb. Isn’t that the black stockings Natsukawa usually wears?"
It actually did look familiar. These were the kind of knee stockings that Masuzu liked to wear in high school.
"Hey, why does your pocket have knee stockings from someone you ｢encountered by chance｣?"
"I-I don’t know, don’t know! I don’t know! It moved there by itself!"
"Knee stockings can move by themselves? Moved into your pocket? You should think of a better excuse!"
Chiwa looked like a devil as she approached me, forcing me to the living room window.
When I hit the back window, Chiwa’s eyes went wide.
"C-Chiwa? What is it?"
Compelled by how Chiwa seemed to stare past me out of the window, I looked back.
Outside of the window was—
"Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?"
Natsukawa Masuzu stood there with empty eyes.
What was she trying? She was talking into a paper telephone all by herself.
When my eyes and Masuzu’s met, and she raised her red lips and gave a ｢Meow｣ sound.
"This is, that woman’s, house?"
"This is my house, you bastard————!"
Chiwa pushed me aside, then opened the window.
"Long time no see, Natsukawa! You’re as ugly as usual!"
"Give me back my boyfriend ♪ Give me back my boyfriend ♪ Give me back my boyfriend ♪ Return Kidou Eita to me. ♪"
"Don’t sing! Listen to me!"
Chiwa grabbed my arm.
"Right now our positions are reversed since high school! Ei-kun is my boyfriend! Right, Ei-kun!?"
"R-Right, Masuzu! Our relationship is already finished!"
Masuzu chuckled with laughter deep in her throat.
"Eita was threatened by Harusaki-san? You were forced to say it, right? The secret’s exposed. My Eita will never say words that would hurt me."
Masuzu threw away the paper telephone, and pulled out an empty pot from who knows where. Then she started to stir with a ladle. While I didn’t understand what she was doing at all, the harsh sound of metal rubbing made me very disturbed.
Chiwa vaulted into the courtyard barefooted, and rammed Masuzu’s shoulder really hard.
Masuzu chuckled with laughter deep in her throat.
"Please don’t resort to physical violence, Harusaki-san. What would I do if you harmed the child in my womb?"
While Chiwa was in a daze, Masuzu nursed her stomach tenderly and said,
"I have, a product of the love between Eita and me……"
Chiwa slowly turned and looked at me, her cheek twitching, her eyes bloodshot and red.
"Ei-kun….. she’s lying, right?"
"Of course it’s a lie! Don’t be fooled, Chiwa!"
"Hahaha. If it’s a boy, we’ll name him, ｢Gero Shiyabu｣. If it’s a girl, we’ll call her ｢Fumin｣, okay Daddy? ♪"
"The father of those children would be too pitiful!"
I should have denied it, but I accidentally tsukkomi’d.
"Lie! Lie Lie Lie Lie! I don’t believe it! I absolutely won’t believe it—!"
Chiwa tore at her hair, and rolled about the ground like a child.
She kept gasping, with her shoulders moving intensely up and down,
"Oh right, why don’t we go confirm it?!"
"Go to the hospital? If that’s the case, let’s go the university’s birth clinic—"
"What are you talking about, Ei-kun? Isn’t there an easier way to do this?"
Chiwa said this and went to the back of the house. I thought she was going to retrieve a pregnancy test, but I didn’t think she would go to the kitchen and bring back a twenty-centimeter long vegetable knife.
"We can use this to cut open the stomach and look inside ~ ♪" 
This is bad! Although I wasn’t the one raped, my eyes are being raped right now! 
"Calm down Chiwa! Calm down a little! Do you actually want to become a murderer?"
"Come! Come at me, Chihuahead! Set your knives and horses at me!"
"Who’s Chihuahead? Don’t provoke me, Masuzu!"
These girls were crazy. Their heads weren’t normal!
"Just put down the knife, Chiwa! Then we’ll go to the hospital, okay?"
"You didn’t have to say! Hey!"
Chiwa kicked at the ground.
She growled and pointed the knife extremely close to Masuzu!
The sharp blade of the knife cut into skin, into the flesh, and even into the stomach!
"Ah! My bad."
"How could you make that mistake?!"
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Should I pull it out?"
"Don’t! Don’t turn it! Gwuahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
I vomited blood, rolling on the ground.
Masuzu knelt down, examined my abdominal wound, tilted her head and said,
"There’s no baby inside?"
"That’s obviousssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahahauhauwaaaaaa......"
My vision dimmed, and my consciousness gradually faded away.
This was a debt of Mayhem that I accrued ever since high school. I never expected it to pay me back in this form…….. now…….!
"Wake up—Ei-kun, really!"
I was awoken by Chiwa’s voice, and I opened my eyes…… this was the club room at the school.
Masuzu and Chiwa wore their uniforms, and had surprised look on their face as they looked at me.
"You slept so well. Did you have a sweet dream?"
"To fall asleep during club activities, you’re really too lazy."
I used my still drowsy mind to try to grasp what just happened.
"......it was a dream......"
Well, I thought that was the case.
Although I’m stuck in the mayhem between my girlfriend and childhood friend every day, that kind ｢Mayhem｣ from before was rather different. You could say it was a different worldview, I guess?
"What is it, Ei-kun?"
"There’s a distinction between realistic and exaggerated boundaries in mayhem."
"What kind of senseless things are you talking about?"
I looked around at Chiwa and Masuzu who were in a daze,
"The realistic kind, is the kind from TV dramas and shoujo manga where the mayhem is tangled, complicated, and lifelike; the exaggerated kind, however, is like the developments in shounen manga or light novels, where the mayhem is like a harem or romantic comedy."
The mayhem that I just dreamed, after final analysis, is one of the realistic ones.
"Then what kind of mayhem is ours?"
Mhm, ours was an exaggerated one.
Because Chiwa and Masuzu both didn’t actually love me. My relationship with Chiwa would never work, and my relationship with Masuzu is fake. There was no way this was close to realistic.
Then, Masuzu’s bag on the table reflected something.
"Masuzu, what’s that?"
"It’s a pot. An empty pot. Can’t you tell by looking?"
"I know, I know......"
Was there home economics today?
Then I noticed there was a paper telephone in Chiwa’s backpack.
"What are you going to do with that paper telephone?"
"Of course I’m going to use it, right?"
Chiwa picked up the paper telephone, and placed it on her own ears and mouth.
Her gaze vacant, she smiled faintly and said, "Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?"
"I-I know, that’s enough."
Masuzu started to stir the empty pot next to me.
"Stop, Masuzu! I hate that noise! Stop!"
"Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?"
"Stop it, Chiwa and Masuzu, please stop it! I said enough!"
However, they didn’t stop.
"Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?"
- She says this in English.
- Also in English.
- School Day's parody based on how Kotohana cuts open Setsuna, since she used "pregnancy" to get attention and refused to go to a hospital to confirm it.
- I’m pretty unclear about what this means, but it’s what the dictionary told me!
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