User talk:Jasou

You can start editing, there's really no need to ask for permission to correct the mistakes in the script, if you want to be recognised as Sword Art Online's official editor then please feel free to add your name in the main project page under editor section. Everyone would appreciate that you want to help improving the quality of the script, but please make sure to make a discussion in either the chapter's talk page or in the forums in case that your edits are going to change the meaning of the text. I'm looking forward to see your contributions to the project I love. -- BeginnerXP - Talk 13:55, 19 June 2012 (CDT)

Sword Art Online

I looked at your edits on SAO9 Interlude I and most are fine, but there are a few points I want to discuss with you:

• "which compelled Asuna to withdraw from the guild" - Is using 'compel' necessary here? In my opinion it makes the text slightly harder to understand to those non-native English speakers (like myself). Large portion of readers here aren't using English as their native language so I prefer to keep the script easy to understand as much as possible.
• You changed some instances of 'temperature' to 'warmth' - While it looks fine to me and I'm not against this change, but the original JP text used the word 'temperature' which contains meaning of both hotness and coldness instead of going straight with hotness word.
• You changed light quantum (accepted physics term) to quantum light (company name) - Could you verify this?
• Asuna's eyes softened, and she let out a light laugh - Doesn't this completely change how the scene is described? Softened and widened eyes gave completely different feeling to the readers and it was rounded her eyes in the original JP script, which was then changed to widened as it felt more appropriate.
• "S......Sorry that I laughed. But...... could it be, that was what made Kirito-kun anxious until now?" - This part I used 'suffer' which you replaced to 'anxious' but after looking at the JP script again, it should be troubled or worried instead of suffer/anxious, what do you think?

I hope I didn't offend you with this message, I want to see the script gets better as much as you do. And I will only make a comment if the edits were on the scripts I translated, as I won't poke my hand into the works of other translators. -- BeginnerXP - Talk 01:24, 20 June 2012 (CDT)