OreShura: Volume 2 Chapter 0
#0: This is Obviously My House... in Mayhem
There’s nothing strange about having a childhood friend.
Isn't that right? The average person in kindergarten or elementary school will have at least one or two close friends. 'Because we lived very close to each other' or 'our families have a good relationship'. Due to those innocent reasons, it didn’t matter how many childhood friends one had.
But if we talk about 'childhood friends at this age', the situation is very different.
If the other person is a girl, that's even more so.
Because puberty changes the way people interact with each other, there’s no way they could keep the same relationship from before. They remember 'their past selves' and find it embarrassing, so it becomes a barrier that gradually pushes them apart. By the time they’ve finally forgotten about that person, the sight of her walking down the street hand in hand with another guy - 'Ah, she has a boyfriend now' - is a really unpleasant feeling.
However, it’s okay.
One must step over the joys and sorrows of life in order to become responsible man.
To become an adult.
Yes, even so—
It was almost time for final exams - early in July.
I was about to go wash my face when I opened bathroom's door just to be greeted by a shrieking scream.
The person who screamed was Harusaki Chiwa.
She was a first-year in high school, 15 years old.
She is my childhood friend.
Then— Why is she naked right now?!
Her eyes were wide opened with her soaked hair equally shocked and stiff.
Chiwa’s figure was very delicate and her hands and feet were especially slender. Her buttocks looked silky and tender, and her skin was of a glossy peach color. Unfortunately, the towel barely covered her important parts… No, wait, it was fortunate misfortune.
"W-W-W-W-W—Why are you here?!"
I also let out an alarming cry no softer than hers.
After all, this happens to be my house.
Without any parents I lived here with my aunt Saeko-san. Today Saeko-san would not return home due to being busy with work, thus the only one left in the house was me.
Chiwa bent down, her face blushing red.
"I sent you a text message last night, didn't I?! The water heater in my house is broken, so I wanted to come over and take a shower in the morning!"
"...Huh? You did?"
Come to think of it, I didn’t check any of my mails.
I had been immersed studying for the exams the entire time, so I completely forgot.
"Hey, how long are you going to stare?! Ei-kun, you stupid idiot! Pervert!"
I turned right and left the bathroom, and shut the door while facing away.
Through the door, I heard Chiwa’s sharp voice.
"Even if we are childhood friends, there are things you can see and things you can't!"
"That’s why I'm sorry. I didn’t know."
I leaned against the door and apologized awkwardly.
The sound of clothes rustling came through the door… Chiwa probably started changing clothes, right? I thought I shouldn't be listening, so I got away from the door.
"Really? You really feel sorry?"
"Yeah, I forget to check my messages, so it’s completely my fault."
I felt Chiwa lean close to the door as she spoke:
"As amends, can you listen to one request?"
Here it was.
A reconciliation request.
Always after a fight, Chiwa would call out this specialty.
"What's the request?"
"Ah, it’s no big deal..."
Chiwa spoke shyly:
"Will you walk with me to school more often?"
“Eh?”, I said with my head tilted, puzzled.
'Cook hamburger for dinner!', I thought she'd make some kind of meat-related request.
"...It's that Ei-kun always just quickly walks to school by himself."
Chiwa muttered softly, and I didn’t know why she sounded so downcast.
Chiwa’s house was just next door. Back in elementary school, we always went to school together in the morning. But ever since middle school, Chiwa had joined the kendo club and she left home at a different time than I did. So the habit slowly disappeared.
Since Chiwa stopped practicing kendo in high school, it was now possible to go to school together…
"But, why bring this up?"
"B-Because it's natural, right? We live next door and we go to the same high school!"
I didn't think that high school boys and girls going to school together was that natural, though.
"W-Well, then... Ah, we can also talk about club activities while we are at it!"
Since the month before, Chiwa and I had started participating in the same club.
It was called: 'Society for Bringing Out Your Maiden Self', also known as 'Jien-Otsu'.
The club's purpose was to improve the quality of one’s inner self and become the ideal young maiden – it sounded really good, but its true identity was a club that 'researched ways to become popular', that kind of unhealthy group.
I, as the only male member, was forced to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of these girls.
"When leaving the house, I'll give you a call."
'Yeah♪', I sensed Chiwa making a small jump behind the door. This girl was always like an eternal child.
"Starting today? Then I’ll change immediately. Wait for me, Ei-kun!"
When I was about to leave the scene, I heard a tiny sound from Chiwa.
"I absolutely will not hand you over to Natsukawa."
"Eh? What did you say, Chiwa?"
"Nothing! Nothing at all!"
I thought I heard something about Natsukawa...
Never mind, I'm probably imagining things.
Since I wasn’t able to wash my face, I decided to prepare breakfast and headed towards the living room.
Without any parents and since my aunt Saeko-san was always busy with work, I did all the cooking, laundry, cleaning, and household related chores. Today was a 'not burnable trash' day, so I it was about time to take the garbage outside.
While I was thinking about this, I opened the door——
A very unconvincing fake scream greeted me.
The person who screamed was Natsukawa Masuzu.
She was a first-year in high school, 15 years old.
Masuzu had silver hair and blue eyes, since she was a Northern European descent.
Her outfit with a white frilly apron on top of her school uniform was a very 'maniac' way to dress … What was this girl trying to do?
"What are you doing? Masuzu?"
"Just as it seems, Eita-kun has forced me into this vulgar cosplay. Kya— PervertEcchi—"
"Don’t say such horrible things about someone!"
When did I ever ask anyone to wear this kind of outfit?!
I didn’t even like apron on uniforms ! I am not that much of a pervert!
It doesn’t matter that one was used to seeing the uniform, the combination with the neat apron makes it burst out with a newfound brilliance! Or something like that! The length of the apron annoyingly and just barely covers her skirt, so it looks like she really was giving this 'not wearing any' feeling. Or something like that. Every time the ruffles of the apron shook, I feel like my heart is jumping out of my chest! Of course I'm absolutely not thinking of anything on those lines——!
"That being said, why are you here?"
"Ara, is it a strange for a girlfriend to be in her boyfriend's house?"
Yes, the school’s number one beauty. The extent of bad character was also the school’s number one for this girl. Natsukawa Masuzu was, unexpectedly, my 'girlfriend'… Well, there was a meaningful reason for that.
"Wearing an apron for her boyfriend, and borrowing the kitchen to make breakfast… Isn’t this the role model for the 'Society for Bringing Out Your Maiden Self?'”
I sat down on the sofa and heaved a big sigh.
"In other words, this is a club activity?"
Natsukawa Masuzu was the founder of the 'Society for Bringing Out Your Maiden Self' and served as the club's president.
This girl was the root and queen of all evil.
"Last night you should have received a mail about it, saying that I would intrude here tomorrow morning. We exchanged mail addresses after all, didn't you happen to see it?"
"Sorry, I was busy studying... And by the way, how did you get in?"
"The front entrance, of course. I thought you even unlocked it for me."
Right, it was Chiwa.
Because she used to always come back and forth between our houses, she has our backup key.
I too had a key for her house.
Really, when you open a door you should lock it afterwards!
"I rang the door bell a few times, but it seemed that Eita-kun was in the shower, so you didn’t hear? It doesn't look like your family is around either… Even though I thought it wasn’t very mannerly, I came in by myself."
When I was clarifying and going through the facts, I noticed another important thing.
Masuzu said, "You were in the shower, so you didn’t hear?"
But I was actually in bed, and since I was asleep I didn’t notice…
The person showering was Chiwa.
In a few moments, she’ll walk into the living room while wiping her soaking wet hair with a towel.
W•i•t•h • h•e•r • c•h•e•e•k•s • f•l•u•s•h•e•d • r•i•g•h•t • a•f•t•e•r • t•h•e • b•a•t•h, C•h•i•w•a • w•i•l•l • m•e•e•t • M•a•s•u•z•u!
Masuzu's eyebrows frowned.
"Because I have things to do before I go to school! If you stay with me, I’ll be late!"
"If that’s the case, at least eat breakfast with me."
"I just ate a few moments ago! In the morning I eat three huge bowls of rice! I’m so full, I can’t take even another grain of rice or a bread crumb in my stomach!"
Masuzu’s shoulder dropped, hanging.
"I was really looking forward to eating breakfast with Eita-kun ever since last night."
Masuzu seemed lonely as she muttered to herself and the sorrowful look on her face continuously stabbed at me.
"Sorry, Masuzu, for making you come out here to specifically make breakfast."
"I always wanted you to try my extra hot curry pre-packaged meal filled with love…"
"T-That’s a lot of work, right? You have to boil the water, and cook the rice."
"No, rice is also ready-made."
"For my sake, you are going to merely press a button on the microwave?!"
I didn’t even know what I was saying at this point.
Masuzu gave a big sigh.
"If it is like that, there is no other way…"
"I see you are quite understanding, Masuzu."
"As expected, instead of an apron uniform, you seem to prefer me to wear a naked apron."
"I see you don't understand, Masuzu!"
"'Kidou Eita, naked apron, is crazy about' : retrieved aprox. 83,020 results (0.14 sec.)."
"What's with that Guugle?! Just how much of a pervert you want to make of your boyfriend?!"
"Eeh? Well that's, eerm..."
Masuzu turned her head and became silent:
"No, I would never think like that."
"Then why did you just seem so indecisive?!"
What should I do?
This early in the morning, I had already shot through a rapid succession of over a 100 tsukkomi.
This seemed to be very bad for one’s health…
"Anyways, I’m leaving."
Masuzu took off her apron, shaking her head gently.
Her silvery hair floated in front of the living room window, right in the light of the morning sun, inadvertently blinding me.
This girl was so alluringly pretty, like a fairy…
Masuzu undid the ribbon of her uniform, and spoke with melancholic eyes:
"You know, Eita-kun, I feel that a naked apron is really overdoing it too much."
"Isn't it? I feel exactly the same!"
"I'll take off my skirt, please at least let me get away with only this much today."
"That's no good either!"
"Check this out, Nii-chan, she'll take it off, take it off!"
"Already settled on that act, aren't you?!"
Just as Masuzu placed her fingers on her skirt fastener——
"Hey, Ei-kun, where’s the hairdryer?"
The sound came from the changing room and it made me jump suddenly. 'Waaaaah!'
Masuzu tilted her head and said:
"Eita-kun, just then, whose voice was that?"
"I-I-I-I-It was nothing!"
"Is your family home? But the voice seemed somewhat familiar."
"You’re over-thinking that! That’s my aunt Saeko-san! She must have just woken up!"
"Well, it’s a rare opportunity, so I might as well introduce myself."
"No! Don’t do strange things!"
I grabbed the hairdryer on the table and said:
"Listen, Masuzu, no matter what happens, don’t move! Even if a new Stand-user appears, just don’t move!"
"I don’t understand exactly what you’re..."
Before Masuzu could finish speaking, I ran out of the living room.
I knocked on the bathroom door and when it opened, I saw the freshly-changed Chiwa grimacing in the washroom mirror.
"Take the hairdryer, Chiwa..."
"What’s with you? You’re covered in sweat."
Chiwa’s expression seemed surprised as she took the hairdryer.
"Don’t worry, just a new Stand-user appeared."
"...? Ei-kun is weird."
Chiwa tilted her head and began using the hairdryer.
"Hey, if I occasionally change my hair style, what would you think?"
"Well, what gives?"
"Is a ponytail to your liking? Or would you rather prefer a sauvage style?"
What should I do?
Before Chiwa finds I out, I need to figure out how to make Masuzu leave.
Well, if I did it the other way around, that’d be fine… but I promised to go to school with Chiwa.
I’d like to keep my promises with my childhood friend as much as possible.
"What’s with that 'what gives' stuff? ... Are you not listening?"
Chiwa pouted, and stared at me with piercing eyes.
"O-O-Of course! Hairstyle, right? Ah, but I think the way Chiwa looks right now is the best. It suits you!"
When I said this, Chiwa’s entire face blushed red.
She secretly patted me on the back several times.
"I hate you! Idiot, idiot♪, Ei-kun, you idiot♪."
What was wrong with this girl? Is she confused? My back hurts.
At this time...!
"Eita-kun, which button should I push to warm the rice?"
I reacted to the sound coming from the living room: 'AOHHHHHHH!'
"That’s strange? Who is there?"
Chiwa turned off her hairdryer and tilted her head, puzzled.
"Aah, Saeko-san just came back."
"But I felt like the voice wasn’t the same."
"S-She said she caught a little cold! A very terrible summer cold!"
"Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen her in a long time. I’ll go say hello."
"No! Don’t think about such strange things!"
I grabbed the shoulders of Chiwa, who was about to open the door, to stop her.
"S-She seemed to be tired from work! I want to let her rest quietly, so can you wait here for a while? Okay?"
'Okay', Chiwa nodded in agreement. She knew Saeko-san was really busy, so she didn’t seem suspicious.
"Then, I should also try to use the hairdryer quietly, right?"
"Please! The future of humanity depends on you!"
I almost tripped three times in the few meters the corridor was, on the way back to the living room.
"What’s wrong, Eita-kun? You’re covered in sweat."
Masuzu wrinkled her brow as she stood in front of the microwave.
"It was just, about the future of the, human race— yeah— hey—"
"Oh, you really are showing off your talents."
I took the rice out of the hands of the dazed Masuzu and began to work the microwave.
As I started the turntable spin, I wondered a little.
I absolutely could not let Masuzu and Chiwa meet, so I needed to cleverly lead Masuzu out of the house. But Masuzu had a sharp intuition, so I had to be extremely careful.
"Hey, Masuzu, I'm really sorry, but when you leave, can you exit from the corridor? I’ll bring your shoes over.
From the living room hallway, it was possible to reach the courtyard. As long as one passed the courtyard, one could reach the road on the opposite side of the main entrance.
"Oh, what’s wrong?"
"If Saeko-san knew that I brought a female student home, it would worry her, because she is a very conservative person."
This, of course, was a lie.
Saeko-san worked at a gal-game company, and loved talking about romantic topics. If she knew about this, she would say: 'Well done, Eita! Let's eat some sekihan tonight.'
"I understand. Since that's the case, I'll leave right away."
Masuzu easily accepted it.
I thought she would question me, so I felt quite pathetic.
"Why do you look so startled? I don’t want to cause trouble to your family. If they’re home or not home, I won’t recklessly come anymore."
Masuzu’s expression suddenly looked very serious.
"What about Eita-kun’s father and mother"?
"Haven't I mentioned before? The two of them aren't with me. If we are to speak about family, there is only my aunt Saeko-san who is my guardian ———and there is also Chiwa."
*ding*, the microwave rang.
"What's left of your family, you should really cherish it."
I took Masuzu’s shoes from the entrance hall and brought them to the corridor.
Masuzu retied the ribbon she had previously undone, neatly folded her apron, and put it into her bag.
"Won't you eat the curry?"
"If we took long enough, your aunt might come downstairs, right? I’ll go buy bread or something on the road at the convenience store. Might as well leave it there for your aunt"
I felt quite sorry.
If you really thought about it, this all happened because I never checked my messages.
"I’ll make it up to you another day."
Masuzu shook her head.
"If you are saying that much, it would be better for something to be done now."
Masuzu came from behind, hugged me and gently leaned against my body.
She was just like a beautiful French doll as her face drew close to mine and her sweet breath brushed my nose.
"I kissed you before, right? So now it’s Eita-kun’s turn."
"W-W-W-W-Wh-Wh-What are you saying?! I can’t do that such a thing!"
"Even though we are already lovers?"
Masuzu with her blushing face, pressed her body close to mine.
I could clearly tell that under the ribbon of her uniform, there was a soft thing changing shape. Even if I wanted to pull my body away, the thing that stuck out would follow me!
She was absolutely doing it on purpose!
"Stop kidding around! You might speak of lovers, I'm only a 'boyfriend'Fake!"
"Yes, that's exactly right."
Masuzu’s moist eyes looked up at me and nodded at the same time.
"Our boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is fake after all. As the 'anti-romance' I am, our relationship is really a pretense to get rid of the students who kept pursuing me ——but, Eita-kun."
Masuzu’s lips suddenly drew close to me.
I unconsciously closed my eyes —but her lips went past my lips and approached my ear:
"I know that the person in the shower is Harusaki-san."
"Because her shoes are at the entrance, so I knew everything from the very beginning♪."
I felt all my strength escape from my body.
So the point was, all this hard effort was just in vain?
"N-No, the reason why Chiwa is using this house's shower, it’s not what you think. She came over because the water heater at house is broken, that's how it is."
"Please do not misunderstand."
Masuzu interrupted my explanation:
"Is not like I’m feeling any jealousy at all. However —if there are rumors that Eita-kun and Harusaki-san are getting too close, our contract would just become scrap paper. That would be very troublesome for me."
"You don’t need to worry about that!"
Cold sweat dripped down my face.
"Didn't I said it just now? Chiwa is like family, because she’s my childhood friend, I would never see her as a member of the opposite sex. And the feeling is mutual."
Masuzu’s eyes clearly did not believe it.
"If Harusaki-san feels like that, then it would be fine."
"...What do you mean?"
Masuzu suddenly pulled her body away.
"Your 'Chuuni. note' is in my hands, so please do not forget about that."
"Yes, I know."
The Chuuni note.
I wrote it when I was in middle school, and it’s a diary full of delusional disgraces and past events.
Because Masuzu had this in her hands, I was unwillingly forced to play the role of her boyfriend.
"Even though you are 'anti-romance', what's with that casual 'kissing' talk?"
"Ara, you’re saying it backwards, right?"
Masuzu sternly spoke while putting on her shoes in the hallway:
"Precisely because I am 'anti-romance', I can talk about 'kissing' all the same. Kissing is just touching one's mouth with another, right? Only 'love-minded' and 'love-worshipping' people would think a kiss is a very precious or embarrassing thing."
You really can talk. Your face was red just now, too.
"Well Eita-kun, see you at school."
Masuzu elegantly and politely bowed to me, exited through the courtyard and went out onto the road.
I suddenly felt tired.
I realized that the day had just begun, and I really wanted to go back to sleep.
Forget it. That's impossible. The end of the semester is almost here, and I haven't taken out the 'not combustible garbage' yet.
"Unya— Ei-kun— Can I come out now?"
Chiwa must have gotten impatient and her voice came from the bathroom.
Several reasons have made my daily life such as desperate mayhem.
—Having said that, nonetheless, something in my heart was full of optimism.
The real 'mayhem' had yet to appear.
Chiwa was just like a little sister.
Masuzu was a fake girlfriend.
Even though the eyes of the people at school might have seen it as a desperate mayhem between my girlfriend and childhood friend – but this wasn’t actually mayhem. These two actually are those of 'hates losing' types, so it looks like they are always fighting over me. But they weren’t, it's fighting for the sake of fighting.
That day after school, when I opened my shoe locker as I was about to go home, I saw 'that thing' that destroyed my naïve understanding.
It was a pink envelope.
And there was a slight smell of perfume——
It had to be a lie.
Childhood friend, girlfriend, don’t tell me it’s time for some 'third party' challenger debut?
Mayhem – the real mayhem is coming?!
Translator notes and references
- Maniac (マニアック) is used for enthusiasts of some kind, in this context it means that it's for those with "certain fetishes".
- Seifuku apron (制服エプロン) seems to actually be a type of fetish.
- Parodied Google.
- She is imitating the tone of shady dealers, like guys that promote strip shows.
- Written in English. This is perhaps another JoJo reference as battle screams in capital English letters are common there.
- Sekihan (赤飯) is red rice, used for joyous occasions, usually parodied by "becoming an adult".
- Original: "Otou-sama" and "Oka-sama".
- Original: "Oba-sama".
- Chuuni: Short for "chuunibyou".
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