OreShura: Volume 8 Chapter 3
#3: Mayhem between My Mom and My Aunt
It was the morning of December 26th.
The year had been full of drama already, but I had to go to prep school today as well.
A-chan and I left the house together which is pretty obvious since we were heading to the same place, but the mood was a little strange. Is this what they call “going to work accompanied by a customer”? She had become more adult like which was making me a little restless.
However, there was very little conversation between me and A-chan.
It was simply a 10 to 20 minute walk to the prep school in silence.
“Huh. You two are together today?”
When we emerged out onto a main street, Kaoru called out to us from behind.
“That's pretty strange. Your guys’ houses are in different directions after all.”
“E-every now and then we do, yeah”
I wasn’t quite sure how I should reply so I kept it vague.
Fuyuumi, who was standing beside me, was making an even more uncomfortable looking face than me.
“Sorry, I think I think I’ll be going on ahead”
As soon as she finished saying that, A-chan left with a half-jog. For A-chan, was quite strange to leave without even exchanging a greeting.
Karou awkwardly lowered his eyes as if he had an idea that something was going on. As always, his eyelashes were even longer than those of a girl’s.
“Did something happen between you two?:
“No... Truth be told there’s actually something I need to apologize to you for.”
“Before winter break, I heard from Natsukawa-san. Your reason for wanting to go to medical school.
I was surprised that there was any interaction between Kaoru and Masuzu, but why would she tell him such a thing?
“Natsukawa-san came to me with a proposal: ‘I want to teach Fuyuumi-san what the reality of the situation is, and I want your help’. I think she wanted to make her give up on you.”
“She seriously went that far trying to influence the situation?”
She said that she wanted to help Chiwa and I get closer, but to go about it in this way…
“I’m sorry that I did something so selfish. Are you angry?”
“It’s not that I’m particularly angry.”
I let out a big sigh.
“Why is it that everyone is trying to get Chiwa and I together?”
“Because that's the solution that will settle the most peacefully.”
Seriously? Can all this mayhem really be settled with just that?
“At least, that's what Natsukawa-san seemed to think. She wouldn’t be alright with you getting close with A-chan or Akishino-san, but it seems like she can give up if it’s Chiwa.
A-chan said something similar last night.
If I love Chiwa, then she can give up or something.
“I’ll try asking from the opposite direction: Why don't you go out with Chiwa? Do you not like her?”
“She’s very important to me, you know. Its just that my love for her is the family kind, not the romantic.”
As soon as I said that, Kaoru’s expression changed.
“That's it, right there!”
“Saying that it's hard to change that. Even if you say you love her like family, you two aren’t actually brother and sister. You won’t be able to come to an understanding just using that excuse.”
Kaoru’s voice was getting oddly loud.
“You’ve never thought to yourself that you wanted to kiss Chiwa? You’ve never thought about anything lewd?”
“Well, thats uh…”
“You have, right?”
Kaoru spoke as he brought his face closer to mine.
It's not like I can just say ‘I already did’. Well, for the kiss part at least.
“If so, you guys aren’t family anymore, you’re man and woman.
Kaoru is being strangely outspoken today.
“Hey Kaoru, is it alright if I just ask you something outright? Will you hear me out and not laugh?”
I made up my mind and said to Kaoru, who wore a clear expression,
“What are you supposed to do when you date a girl?”
Upon hearing this, Kaoru stared at me with a ‘huh?’ face.
“You’re putting your virginity on full display, huh Eita? Even I’m surprised.”
“You’re going too far, my friend”
It’s the truth, but it’s hurting my heart.
“What should you do? What about just doing what you did when you went out with Natsukawa-san?”
“No, Masuzu was a special case.”
Stuff like lovestruck-mind hunting and JoJo pose championships aren’t what you would expect out of a normal couple.
“Well, stuff like eating together and hanging out I guess?”
“That's not much different from the way things are right now.”
Chiwa always comes over to eat at my house already. We hang out too since we’re in the same club, so going out doesn’t seem like it would really improve anything.
“Well not hanging out as childhood friends, hanging out as lovers.”
“But that's exactly what I’m asking about. What are you supposed to do when you hang out as lovers?”
That's the part I just can't figure out.
If I were to go out with Chiwa, I can’t imagine anything changing.
“I think I get it.”
Kaoru spoke with a face that indicated he was able to understand it on his own.
“The reason you and Chiwa can’t become boyfriend and girlfriend. You guys have just been too close from the start. If that's the case, then how about putting a little distance between you two?”
“We already did that though”
During the latter half of summer break, Chiwa put some distance between her and I.
What Kaoru just said seemed like he was implying something, though. In hindsight…
“In that situation, mayhem seemed to come about all the more, right?
Kaoru shrugged his shoulders.
He then looked as if he suddenly realized something.
“Oh, there’s one more, you know.”
“One more what?”
“One more way that this can be settled peacefully apart from going out with Chiwa. Personally, this is the way that I would recommend”
“What kind of way are we talking about here”
I began leaning my body forward with interest without realizing, and Kaoru replied with a smile.
“Go out with Chihuahua-chan, Natsukawa-san, Akishino-san, A-chan, and m...my sister. The equality solution.”
“So you’re telling me to become an Arabian oil prince?”
What the hell, so it's just the ‘harem route’ basically. And here I wasted my effort by seriously listening to what he had to say.
“By the way, don't just nonchalantly bring your sister, Kaori-chan, in on this.
“Huh, but she's totally obsessed with you. I want you to care about her too.”
Kaoru spoke with a carefree tone, and I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.
“Well putting my sister aside for now, is this really so unthinkable for you to do? Creating a harem, I mean. Daimyos in the warring states period had concubines, after all. And I’ve seen millionaires overseas who live with multiple women, you know”
“Yeah, but polygamy isn’t allowed here in japan”
Legally speaking, it just isn't possible. Saeko-san proposed the same thing, but in practice it couldn’t actually go through.
“The goal of love isn’t just marriage. If you don’t just focus on that, I think there are some viable options.”
But it looks like Kaoru is going to be advocating for the ‘harem route’ until the very end.
“Hey Eita, do you know the difference between mayhem and a harem?”
“A harem is where a guy is going out with a bunch of girls. And mayhem is when that fact gets exposed and creates a big fight, no?”
“So you’re saying that a harem has to be kept secret and if it's not, then mayhem will ensue?”
“Is that wrong?”
Kaoru shook his head as if to say ‘nope, nope’.
“A harem and mayhem are two completely different things. Since a harem is ‘paradise’, after all”
“Within a harem, fighting won’t take place. Today is Chiwa-chan’s, tomorrow is Natsukawa-chan’s, the day after that is Akishino-chan’s, and after that is Fuyuumi-chan’s.. If you take turns with each one, there's no way a disagreement will arise.”
“Hold up. Don’t start hinting at their orders already.” 
“In short, what I want to say is…”
Kaoru ignored my objection and continued talking.
“The girls in a harem know that there are other girls, but they tolerate it. That's a ‘real’ harem. The moment they start competing for the guy, the harem falls apart and becomes mayhem.”
“Am I even capable of reaching that point?”
“Not at the moment.”
Kaoru gave a flat response, but it’s not like I can blame him.
“And that's why you should learn. Give it your best effort like you did to become the rank 1 student.”
Kaoru watched my face and let out a gentle smile.
“If you want everyone...but most of all yourself to be happy, then maybe you should be aiming for a harem.”
While on break from class, I tried giving Masuzu a call.
I neglected her for the night, so I figure she will probably be mad at me…
“She didn’t even pick up!”
Masuzu not answering my telephone call is very strange.
Usually she picks up before the phone even has a chance to ring once. And yet, as soon as she answers she always says something like ‘Ara, Eita what do you want? I’m very busy. You still can’t let go of me?’.
Is it that she actually is angry and won't pick up?
Ah well. I’ll give it another try tonight.
As you’d expect, I don’t think I can spend another night at Fuyuumi’s house. I can’t keep running away, so I need to confront my mother today.
As I opened up the front door, I was greeted by my mother’s voice.
“Ara, Eita. Welcome home~”
As I found myself greeted with nostalgia, bitterness began to wash over me. For more than a year, I had to return to an empty house.
In the living room, a potato chips bag, girls magazine, and rental dvd bag were out. She seemed to be getting a fair share of enjoyment out of the house. She doesn’t care about other people at all.
“It sorta seems like there are more cooking utensils from what we had last year.”
“Yeah, because I cook for myself.”
“AMAZING! Eita cooking... I would have never guessed from when you were in middle school. You’ve grown quite a bit, huh!”
“I was forced to by necessity.”
I sat down on the sofa facing my mother and stared at her face.
“You can stay here for now, but please leave after the year is over.”
“Saeko-san will be coming home.”
Similar to yesterday, my mother fell silent as soon as I mentioned Saeko-san’s name.
While tracing a の shape with her finger, my mother spoke.
“Hey Eita, for now I want you to listen to my side of things.”
You found another lover and threw away your family, end of story.
“You see, Eita. Once love begins to flare up in your heart, it’s not something that can be stopped. Once its reached that point, there’s nothing you can do.
“Is that so.”
“And so I may have eloped, but that doesn’t mean I hated you or didn’t care about you and just threw you away. Do you understand?”
“Not at all.”
I said it outright.
Whereupon, my mother let out a ‘umuu~’ moan.
“In short, it’s like your separate stomach.”
“Am I a snack?”
“For example, Eita’s favorite food is hamburgers, right? And your favorite manga is ‘Arukana ・ Dragons’, right? But if I ask you which you like better, you can't compare them, right?”
“You’re good at remembering, even the title.”
“Because every time a new volume came out, you would always beg for some allowance. I remember.”
Cch, don’t bring that stuff up right now.
“Your mother was just hungry which can't be helped, so for the time being I chose the hamburger. But it's not that I don’t care about AruDora. If I had the money, I would have gotten it. That's just how it ended up.”
From a theoretical standpoint I can understand, but from an emotional one there’s no way I could accept that.
“Getting married and having family comes with responsibility, no? To abandon that responsibility is wrong.”
“Well, if you say it like that it's a bit harsh”
“If you live your life being controlled by your emotions, then you’re no different from an animal. I will never live my life like that.”
My mother let out a sigh as if to say ‘maybe this won’t work’.
“But if Eita abandoned me, I wouldn’t have anywhere to do.”
“You’re an adult so you can figure something out.”
Doing anything more would be too much. She can stay over at a friends house or do something else like finding a new man.
At that time, the chime for the front door rang.
“Don't tell me that’s Saeko-san?”
My mother hugged the couch cushion in fear.
While thinking that wasn’t very likely, I went to the door to see and…
“Eita, hug me!”
It was my ex-girlfriend (past life), Akishino Himeka, standing at the door saying her usual line. I noticed that the mood was a bit different today, however, since she ended it with a ‘!’ rather than a ‘?’.
“Yo. What are you doing here so late?”
“I finished the book, so I came to show you. It’s freshly done.”
She reached into her bag and what she carefully took out was a doujinshi.
Furthermore, it wasn’t just printed on some plain copier paper. It was a proper ‘offset book’ manuscript that came from a printing office.
“Ooh, you already finished it?”
The circle name, ‘Burning ☆ Princess’, was printed on the cover. It was just an adaptation of Hime’s name from her past life, but it was quite the cute name for a circle.
The main picture on the cover was...well not the best, but that's how it goes with your first book.
The romanticness in the characters expression, however, gave a good glimpse into Hime’s talents, but maybe I’m just biased since I’m her friend.
“You really gave it your all, huh? You were able to make something so nice after not even a month.”
“Look inside too? Look?”
Hime, who’s cheeks had become stained with pink, was swaying her upper body left and right.
While wondering what kind of manga this charming girl could have made, I began to turn the pages.
There was a rose stuck in a guy’s butt.
I’m not quite sure what I'm saying, but it’s what I’m looking at.
The other pages were the same. Tulips, Chinese bell-flowers, sunflowers, winter daphne...various things were lodged in there.
“How is it? How is it? Eita?”
“I-It’s quite original.”
While replying, I tightened by butthole.
“Mana thought of the story. She’s a genius. You just never know what will happen next. It’s amazing.”
“I-Is that so. How amazing.”
Either way, just lend me this to read for later. Reading it in the entryway is way too awkward.
“By the way, Eita.”
Hime glanced to at something behind me.
When I turned to look behind me, my mother’s face suddenly appeared from behind the door.
She was looking over at us grinning. Her lovestruck-mind was on full display.
“Yesterday was Ai-chan and now today is that girl? Looks like cooking isn’t the only thing you improved in~”
“You’re annoying, go away.”
Despite saying that, my mother quickly came out onto the porch.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Eita’s mother~”
Hime shouted “His mom!” as she stood at attention and then lowered her head silently.
“I am Akishino Himeka. I’m Eita’s ex-girlfriend. I hope to make your acquaintance from now on.
What’s with her enthusiasm. She’s no Japanese person.
“Waitwaitwaitwaittt~! Seriously Eita, what happened? Did this talent of yours blossom after entering high school?”
She was saying things that I wanted to argue with, but sadly I couldn’t find the words.
“Hime, it's late so I’ll take you back home.”
“Wait wait, this a rare opportunity so please come on in. I have to at least serve some tea.”
Or so my mother said, but if this got any more complicated it wouldn’t be bearable.
Hime shook her head from side to side.
“You don’t have to take me back home. My sister is waiting for me in her car by the gate.”
Yuuka-san came back from Tokyo, huh. Well, then there’s no need for me to worry I guess.
After sending Hime off at the front door, my mother poked me several times in my side.
“What do you want, that hurts!”
“Ai-chan was pretty as well, but isn’t that girl cute! Why did you dump her? Who are you dating?
“I’m not dating anyone!”
“That again~. It didn’t really feel like you and Ai-chan were dating, yeah. Who is it who is it? Nee.”
This nosy questioning is characteristic of the stubbornness of lovestruck-minds.
“Yeah, I have a bunch of things I want to ask too.”
A figure standing behind my mother’s back let out those words.
But my mother went on as if she didn’t realize,
“Right right? Come on Eita, tell mama your love stories ♪”
“Before that, I’m interested in hearing my sister-in-law’s love story.”
With that, my mother finally turned around to look behind her.
In the entryway was Saeko-san carrying her bag over her shoulder.
On her face was a big smile.
However, her usual slit-eyes were completely locked on to my mother.
“O, oho, sa, Saeko Onee-samaa, ho, how are you doinggggg?
“HeyHey, Miho-chin. Have you been well~?”
Saeko-san patted my mother, who was dripping with sweat, on the shoulder.
“It's been awhile~. Not since we met at Hodaka’s home, right~. There you said to all of us how ‘I absolutely won't cause any problems for my relatives’, right~?”
“U-um, um, I’ll g-go prepare some tea”
The moment my mother tried to turn to leave,
Saeko-san drove her knee into my mother’s stomach.
My mother collapsed right in front of me and Saeko-san forcefully grabbed her collar.
“Hey hey~. You’re always too quick to say byebye.”
Saeko-san was smiling, but...there was what felt like an aura of rage below the surface.
This was the first time I had seen Saeko-san like this.
This was neither exhausted-mode nor awakened mode. This is the third mode!
“Why don’t we have a family meeting for a bit? We can talk with Eita too and have a nice grown up conversation.”
What was supposed to be a family meeting according to Saeko-san was really just bashing on my mother until midnight.
Things started at the divorce, but by the end Saeko-san was even scolding my mother on stuff such as her perfume preferences and the way she raised and lowered her chopsticks. My mother was just hanging her head saying ‘Yeah yeah’ and nodding. I wonder if this will actually come to any good.
Now as for why Saeko-san, who should have been busy with work, decided to come home.
“My idiot brother sent me a message: ‘Mihoshi was dumped by that guy it seems’.”
“So I instinctively came home. I thought you wouldn't have any money so you would come to where Eita was.”
With that information, it looks like she took a half-day at work to come check.
As expected of Saeko-san, she’s quite the reliable one.
“By the way, my dad contacted you?”
“Just every noooooooow and then he’ll send me a message. If I seriously try and interrogate him, I may be able to figure out where he is. Do you want to meet him?”
I shook my head.
“I have Saeko-san.”
Saeko-san responded simply with a smile.
“Well then. Now onto how we will deal with Miho-chan.”
My mother, who had been sitting in seiza on the floor, nodded despondently.
“At this point, I’m OK with whatever. I see this as being a parent and child problem. If Eita will permit it, so will I. I’ll follow whatever it is he wants.”
Saeko-san and my mother both looked to me.
I drank the rest of the tea that I poured and calmed myself down.
“Permit or don’t permit, I don't really care anymore.”
It felt like I had a load lifted off my chest thanks to seeing Saeko-san getting angry for me. That knee seemed to give a rude awakening more than just making her regret her actions.
“Mother, do you plan on joining this household?”
“I-I do! I’ll look for a job and do housework.”
“And return things to the way they were before?”
I spoke to my mother as if to warn her,
“Until spring comes and I become a second year high-school student, we will live together. If by the time that comes I think it’s possible to return to being a family, we can talk about this again.”
“As you say!”
My mother spoke with words taken from a drama as she prostrated herself before me.
“That seems like a compromise.”
Saeko-san seemed to approve.
If I'm being honest...At this time, I don't even have the slightest of expectations. I figured that being my mother, she will just have found a new lover by the time spring comes.
My mother’s stay brought about a ‘turning point’ that I never saw coming.
- 同伴出勤 is a sorta idiomatic phrase in japanese that means roughly that. Not sure how to word it differently.
- 童貞丸出し literally means like “exposing virginity”, but I guess in this context it just means revealing his inexperience with girls
- It’s supposed to be like two-timing (seeing two people at once) but the word was slightly altered to be five rather than two
- Kaoru says “me”, but he quickly adds on の妹 which makes it into “my sister”.
- Each of the characters names starts with a season when written in japanese. In that order they go spring->summer->fall->winter. Just a cool thing that isn’t able to be translated
- In reference to the fact that they are all seasons, as stated in the last note
- Japanese has a word that means separate stomach for dessert, so even if you’re full you can still eat dessert. Not an actual second stomach
- Polite language with no english equivalent
- She uses weird language for this, but there's no English equivalent
- Talking like a child
- Japanese style of sitting where you sit on your knees
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