Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai:Chapter 3: A Certain Electromaster's Life Counseling (Girls' Talk) Part 1

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Chapter 3: A Certain Electromaster's Life Counseling (Girls' Talk) Part 1[edit]

"What...there is someone here?"

The spiky haired boy finally noticed us, his eyes wandered around.

"Stop running!"

*Biri biri biri biri biri*

The tea-color haired girl emitted a violent electric shock and came at him from behind.

"Ahhhh! This idiot!"

The spiky haired boy turned around and raised his right hand at the electric shock.

It hit! —The high-energy spark that almost blinded us struck.

...A few seconds later, after the flash and the sound had calmed down, we noticed the unharmed spiky haired boy was standing in front of us, protecting us.

"Hoh—"

His right hand still raised forward, he let out a sigh of relief.

By the way, from behind me, Kirino had seen everything, she—

"Wow...is that the legendary 'Imagine Breaker'? To witness it from so close, I'm so lucky!"

This girl was really calm.

The spike head turned to us and asked worriedly:

"Ah, is anyone hurt?"

"Probably not...Are you okay?"

I asked Kirino, she nodded slightly.

"That's good then."

He grinned, then his expression turned serious.

"Leave it to me, you guys run ahead!"

"Wait for me!"

The tea-color haired girl interrupted him.

"Why are you making it sound like I'm the bad guy here?"

"You launched a one billion volt electrical shock at ordinary people, there is no excuse for that. No matter what, you are the bad guy here."

Yeah, this girl had an expression like she wanted to kick a vending machine.

"Someone who just took a one billion volt electrical shock directly is not an ordinary person at all! Look at yourself...!"

"Don't just biri biri and shoot electricity when you're angry! Any ordinary person would be terrified by now!"

"Kuh...!"

The electric current surrounding her body slowly disappeared.

"...Is this okay, then?"

"...Don't casually shock anyone again."

"Oh!"

A bunch of exceptionally strong shocks burst from her forehead.

Seemed like it was related to her mood.

That meant it was very easy to understand her mood. It would have been great if my little sister had the same ability.

"Hmph, of course I know."

She snorted, took a deep breath, then finally the electric current disappeared completely.

"Is this okay now?"

"...Hoh, it's safe now."

"Hey, don't make it sound like I'm something dangerous."

The tea-color haired girl lectured the spiky haired boy, who was breaking into cold sweat.

That kind of quarrel sounded like a lover's quarrel, thus I slowly lowered my guard.

Just like Kuroko said, maybe she wasn't that terrifying. Actually, this girl was probably the one we would talk to anyway—

"Mikoto-san."

Kirino greeted her.

"Yes?"

"You must be Misaka Mikoto-san. And you must be Kamijou Touma-san."

"Oh? You know us?"

The one Kirino called 'Kamijou Touma' was the spiky haired boy, and the 'Misaka Mikoto' girl went "Ah!" and pointed at Kirino:

"Could it be..."

"I'm Kousaka Kirino, today I'm going to have a live talk with you on Nico."

"So, so that's it!"

Mikoto showed a happy expression and patted her head:

"Wow, what wonderful timing. Ah, how should I put it...sorry that your first impression of me is like this..."

Then she dropped her head dejectedly.

She looked like a normal girl, I couldn't believe this was the same girl who threw electric shocks at random a few minutes earlier.

Mikoto stared at Kamijou:

"It's all your fault that they misunderstood."

"More like it let them know the truth about you..."

Biri biri biri—

"...I didn't say anything."

"Hmph ~~"

Mikoto put away her electric shock and turned to Kirino:

"Pleased to meet you, Kousaka Kirino-san. I'm Misaka Mikoto. Just now I was acting strange, please don't misunderstand."

"Ah, it's fine it's fine. I won't misunderstand."

"Ah?"

"I have read both 'A Certain Magical Index' and 'A Certain Scientific Railgun,' so I knew everything about Mikoto-san and Kamijou-san!"

Kirino hands clenched into fists, her eyes were sparking.

"Ah, about that..."

Mikoto seemed troubled because of Kirino's reaction. At that time, Kuroko interrupted:

"That's right, Onee-sama. I have just had a talk with Kirino-san about Onee-sama. Heheheh, she and I are evenly matched in this!"

"Ah, I see..."

Oh, she seemed interested now.

"Actually ~ I'm not that good ~"

Why are you getting embarrassed? It's not certain that Kuroko was praising you yet.

"...Ah, actually I have read 'My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute' too. It's a good novel. They sold it inside Academy City as well."

"Although I haven't read it, I heard from Uiharu that it's quite popular among Anti-Skill."

"Ah...I see."

"Uhm—"

Like a student with bad grades, Kamijou slowly raised his hand.

"...The Dengeki Bunko editor only called me here, they didn't explain anything to me at all..."

"Ah, you are still here, you ape?"

"If I could go back, do you think I would still be here?"

Kamijou scratched his cheek.

Not only was he almost shocked by his girlfriend, he was coldly mocked...somehow I felt a sense of intimacy toward him.

Mikoto thought and said:

"First, let's bring Kousaka-san to the waiting room."

"You say that, but...didn't Onee-sama destroy the waiting room just now...?"

"Ah..."

Mikoto slightly opened her mouth, as if saying 'yeah, that's right.'

"Oh right, you can call me Kirino. Can I call you Mikoto too?"

"That's fine. Everyone will be more relaxed this way."

"Alright ~"

"I have just checked with the receptionist. Onee-sama and Kirino-san, please go directly to the recording room."

Kuroko said as she hung up her cell phone.

"What about us?"

I asked.

"They are preparing a new waiting room, so please go there now. It's the innermost room, it should be easy to find."

"Alright, then let's go to the recording room."

"Okay! I have so many things to talk with Mikoto about!"

The two girls left while chatting away happily.

—Thus we males were left behind.

"......"

"......"

Both of us looked at each other in silence.

...Not good.

Kamijou muttered quietly:

"In the end, they didn't explain anything to me..."

I fully understood his feelings. Without any explanation, getting involved in something before I knew it...that was something I was familiar with.

"Then, let me explain."

"...That'd be a big help."



We introduced ourselves and walked toward the waiting room. While called a waiting room, it was more accurate to say it was just a room with a long table and some chairs. On a wall inside, there were Kirino's and Mikoto's POP [1] and an LCD, just like a live action.

"Oh, so this is Kirino's POP? It's good."

Ayase would certainly like to be there.

While Kamijou sat down near Mikoto's POP

"Just now, I only stared at Mikoto's POP, she immediately tried to shock me. Isn't that too much?"

"Ah...could it be that she was trying to hide her embarrassment?"

"...How could that be? I would die if her attack hits me directly, who could take that?"

True, normally that would be the case...but if my little sister had the same power as Mikoto, she would definitely do that.

I sat down in front of the TV with Kamijou.

Then I had a brief planning session for the next situation.

"I can understand why Misaka and your little sister were called here, but why did they call me too...?"

"I don't get it myself..."

"You weren't dragged here because of your little sister, were you?"

"At first, it was like that, but after that I also received a 'come here' invitation from Dengeki Bunko myself."

"Kuh...I totally don't get it."

"Is there some reason that forces us to be here no matter what?"

Kamijou and I glanced at each other.

"...Somehow I have a bad feeling."

"What a coincidence, me too. Since the moment I stepped inside this building, I've felt a misfortune atmosphere following me everywhere."

Misfortune atmosphere? What was that?

If I had read 'A Certain Magical Index,' I would have already hightailed it away from him as far as possible.

Because when this guy said 'misfortune,' he wasn't joking.

But, what a pity! At that time, I was talking with another protagonist—Kamijou, so I lowered my guard. As fellow Dengeki Bunko protagonists, who also bore the same miserable fate, we developed some kind of camaraderie.


That was the beginning of our misfortune.

Since that incident, I took the following lesson to heart: It isn't a good thing to team up with someone who has the same attributes.

We chatted for a while.

"Say, Kamijou, what do you usually do?"

"Hospitalized."

"...What?"

"It is always like that—have a fight, get seriously injured, get sent to the hospital—that is my normal life."

Kamijou hung his shoulders, like he had just done something very tiresome.

"...Ah, ha..."

Not good, did I just step on a land mine?

That meant this guy was the protagonist of a fighting series.

"Especially in August and September, it was the worst. I felt like I had to fight new enemies regularly. The anime also focused on unexpected events in September, during which I had a series of desperate fights. My schedule was so messed up! The author overdid it!"

"You seem to have it hard."

"Ah, it's fine. However, before I came here, by coincidence I saw the 'My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute' anime, you were sent flying quite a distance with a roundhouse kick."

"...Ah, that is..."

"What a fearsome enemy. It reminds me of a saint who can use an angel's power. Who would be stronger between them...?"

"...No no. It's true that Ayase is the boss of the second volume, but she is not an esper or a magician or anything."

Although I don't know who he was comparing Ayase to, hearing the word 'angel' made me think of a super charming girl.

In that case, I would like to meet her someday.

"Back to the topic just now, well, although hospitalization is a bad thing, Kamijou-san should be popular with girls, right?"

I heard that in fighting novels, each time the protagonist fought, they would raise a flag, thus they frequently ended up with an uncountable harem. [2]. Since I'm not popular with girls, I should try asking for his advice.

But unexpectedly, Kamijou waved his hand:

"No no, totally not. Not a si—ingle bit popular!"

"For real?"

"Yes, for real. True, I frequently meet girls, but nothing like that happens between me and them! Otherwise, 'such misfortune' wouldn't be my catchphrase!"

Kamijou denied with all of his strength.

I asked him again just to confirm:

"But aren't you surrounded by a lot of girls? Even if you aren't popular, at least you live under the same roof with a beautiful girl, don't you?"

"...Yeah, I had a freeloader at my place. Index is the incarnation of appetite..."

His face darkened, he replied in anger.

Such a poor boy...He really fought hard side by side with so many beautiful girls, yet he didn't manage to raise a single flag.

"Forget it, I was able to save people because of my misfortune, so it's not an entirely bad thing."

Kamijou said with a proud smile. So cool! When I was thinking that—

"Ah—! But I want something to happen too! Even once is fine, I want something good to happen between me and a girl!"

—My admiration for him was instantly crushed.

Aha...well, this was normal for any high school student.

Did this guy really walk along the edge of death countless times?

"Ah—, you are so lucky to have such a cute little sister! Please introduce her to me!"

"I refuse."

"An instant answer?"

"I definitely will not give my little sister to someone with horrible luck like you."

"Kuh...what a righteous response...If I were you I would have said the same thing..."

Looking at the depressed Kamijou, I tried to cheer him up:

"But Mikoto-san likes you, right?"

Kamijou's eyebrows wrinkled.

"Are your eyes okay? Didn't you see our quarrel just now? How could you come to that conclusion?"

"In my eyes, you guys have a pretty good relationship."

How should I put it, they seemed like they were flirting.

"If she liked me, shouldn't she stop trying to greet me with an electric shock?"

Ah, you have a point here. However...based on my own experience...I feel like...it's not just that...

"So, what exactly is your relationship with her?"

"...Uhm, I'm not sure myself, it's quite complicated."

Kamijou thought about it and said:

"I think that she is as cool as a boy, and she is someone reliable."

"...Even if I misunderstood, you must never, ever tell her that!"

In Mikoto's ears, those words would have had different meaning.

"Why not?"

Kamijou showed a confused look.

This...seemed like he had a hard time in front of him.

"About that TV, what do you think it is for?"

Kamijou pointed at the LCD TV in the room. It looked like something to view a live Nico program.

"Without a doubt, I bet we could use that to see Kirino and Mikoto's talk."

"I see. However...will they know that we are looking at them?"

"...I'm not sure."

If they didn't, what would we do?

"...Let's forget it."

"Agreed."

It wasn't something we could control anymore.



We continued chatting for a while, while I was asking Kamijou about 'how a boy living alone cooks for himself,' a sound came from the TV—

"The next program is 'My Little Sister' X 'Railgun' Crossover – Girls' Talk! The program guests are two of Dengeki Bunko's prided super-popular heroines, Misaka Mikoto-san and Kousaka Kirino-san! They will have a live talk right now!"

"It's starting!"

"Ha ~~ the bad feeling is getting closer, but I don't have a choice."

"Yeah."

We lifelessly looked at the TV.

"Please come in ~~ ♪"

And then, my little sister and Misaka Mikoto's live talk started.

"Good morning everyone, I'm Kousaka Kirino!"

"Good morning, everyone...I'm Misaka Mikoto."

"Please take care of me today, Mikoto-san!"

"Please take care of me too...you seem to be familiar with this stuff."

"You could say that, I have taken part in something similar a few times before. Mikoto-san only needs about ten shows to get used to it."

"No no, I'm not planning to get into so many shows."

It looked like they were having a small talk.

The moderator was waiting...Kirino, you should talk about the main topic now.

Their relationship had gotten better in such a short time. Compared to before, they talked with each other more naturally now.

"Then, today two of Dengeki Bunko's prided beautiful girls are going to have a talk. The program is starting now!"

"Beautiful girls...are they talking about us?"

"That is the truth, isn't it?"

"Ah, although it's the truth..."

Seeing that, both Kamijou and I whispered to each other.

"What an annoying combination."

"Yeah."

On the other side of the screen, Mikoto said:

"So, what are we going to talk about?"

"Directly to the main topic. Of course, we are going to talk about love!"

"...Hah?"

"That's what's written in the title, right? 'Dengeki Bunko Girls's Talk.' A girls's talk is, without a doubt, about love! So let's talk about love!"

"About love? Are you...with me?"

"No no ~"

Kirino pointed at Mikoto—

"Mikoto-san will talk with me about love."

—Then she pointed to herself.

Mikoto's eyes followed Kirino's finger, then, as if suddenly startled, her face started twitching.

"Haaaaaaa—? I, I, I I I...I'm going to talk with you about love!?"

"Yes. Mikoto-san, do you have someone you like?"

"—————————!"

Mikoto's entire face and her ears reddened.

What a cute and clear reaction. Even someone as dense as me understood with just a glance.

".........Hey, Kamijou?"

As 'the one Mikoto likes,' what would his reaction be? I turned to him—

"Ha—so Mikoto has someone she likes!"

"......You, you......!"

You are so dense that even I am surprised! You should say goodbye to your love life!

On the other side of the TV, Kirino and Mikoto kept talking.

"Mikoto-san, you should admit it. Don't use tsundere words to deceive me, I have read the entire book!"

"Kuh...! About that...let's say that I have 'someone I'm interested in'!"

"What 'let's say', you clearly have one."

"'Let's say'!"

Mikoto slammed on the table.

Biri biri biri...electric shocks began to appear

"Don't do that! I'm starting to feel tingling! —Alright, alright, then 'let's say.' Is that okay now?"

"Even if I have 'someone I'm interested in'...why do you look at me with such condescending eyes...? Aren't we supposed to be equal in a talk about love?"

Facing Mikoto's question, Kirino calmly answered without changing her expression.

"Ah? Maybe because I'm more proficient in love?"

"What?"

"Ah ~ could it be ~ you feel that you should be more proficient? If that is the case, allow me to apologize ~"

What are you doing, teasing her like that, brat!

Sure enough, my little sister didn't have the personality to get along with strangers.

Despite that Mikoto was emitting shocks, her face relaxed. She said,

"Ah—it's fine even if you don't apologize. But Kirino, no matter if it's about fighting or love, I'm better than you."

Although it is true in the fighting aspect...

"Among Dengeki Bunko's heroines, I'm your senpai. Wouldn't it be better if I was the one giving you advice for love?"

"No no, I'd rather ask an elementary-school kid for love advice than Mikoto-senpai."

"You...!"

Although it's true, you shouldn't say it out loud, Kirino.

You were facing an esper who could turn you into ash in the blink of an eye, yet you were calmly quarreling with her. Unbelievable.

"...You say that...does that mean you have much love experience?"

"That's for sure. We have been living together for 15 years."

"!!!!"

"We had a confession long long ago—about at the end of volume 2 or something like that."

"So soon...!"

"During volume 3, we even entered a love hotel together ♪"

"Love hotel ......!!!!!????"

Mikoto turned stiff, she barely managed to ask:

"...Is, is that true?"

"It's true. If I lied here, that would mean I deceived the audience, right?"

Saying that, Kirino covered her lips with her fingertips and made a 'shhh—' action toward the camera, signaling the audience to be quiet.

Since Mikoto hadn't read our story, this girl could say whatever she wanted!

However, what she said was completely true...

"I have only 12 volumes, but it has developed to this stage. While you have 22 volumes, 2 gaiden books, 7 New Testament volumes, 1 additional side story book, 3 anime seasons, 8 new gaiden volumes. Yet, where are you now?"

Her entire face reddened, Mikoto trembled and gathered her courage to reply:

"We had first contact in volume 1 of the Railgun series!"

"Liar. You only tried to shock him."

"We had an overseas trip! Hawaii!"

"That was just a terrorist attack, wasn't it?"

"!!!!!"

"You didn't even manage to give him the ring, did you?"

"!!!!!!!!!"

"Still want to continue?"

"......"

She didn't seem like she would let it go.

".........Yes, there is something!"

On the verge of utter depression, Mikoto suddenly came back to life.

"Really?"

"Yes, really!"

"Then I will ask a question. The most recent chance you had to speak with him, did you have a good talk?"

"...About that...time..."

"What were you doing at that time, Mikoto-san?"

Sweat appeared on Mikoto's forehead.

"...About that...we fought together against a Saint..."

"Ha...so that's what you meant..."

"Why did you sigh!? What do you mean by that!?"

Mikoto couldn't take it anymore, she stood up and pointed her finger at Kirino.

Kirino returned an arrogant look:

"Actually, back then Mikoto-san was cool. The decisive battle scenes and victory lines were both awesome. Yet..."

"Yet?"

"You still weren't able to convey your feelings to him."

"Kuh...!"

Mikoto gritted her teeth. Looked like Kirino hit the bullseye.

"But even just counting 'A Certain Magical Index' there are 36 volumes, up until now, what have you done?"

"Don't say it like a manager speaking to a jobless man!"

Although you seem great when lecturing others, Kirino, you also don't have the right to do that.

"So, this is a bit of my advice..."

Kirino pointed at Mikoto's legs.

"Mikoto-san, how long are you going to keep wearing loose socks? They're way too outdated!"

"Don't speak about that now—————!!!!!"

Biribiribiribiribiribiribiribiribiribiribiribiribiribiri——!!

The sounds of electric shocks appeared, then the TV screen distorted.

Seeing the black TV screen, Kamijou muttered:

"...She stepped on Misaka's land mine..."

Later, I was informed that during winter, they had dark blue uniform socks.

A long series surely was not an easy work.

When the image on the TV screen came back, we saw Mikoto standing, gasping for air, and the paled Kirino.

"Ha...ha...ha..."

"So dangerous...I thought that I was about to die..."

They were sitting face to face, the chairs and the table showed signs of damage, some places had been destroyed.

"I understand what you meant. I admit that in this aspect, I'm not very good. So..."

"So?"

"—I want to have a life counseling session with you."

Unexpectedly, those were the same words that Kirino first spoke to me long ago.

Unconsciously, Kirino acted like me, she raised her head, straightened her chest and announced—

"Mikoto-san, leave it to me!"

And that is the main topic...


Translator's Notes[edit]

  1. point of purchase
  2. Touma's harem includes but is not limited to: Index, Mikoto Misaka, Komoe Tsukuyomi, Aisa Himegami, Kaori Kanzaki, Orsola Aquinas, Agnese Sanctis, Seiri Fukiyose, at least some (if not most, or even all) of the 9,968 Misaka Imoutos, and Itsuwa. And since volume 20, Lessar is on it too. Volume 2 of New Testament has some very heavy hinting from Seria Kumokawa, considering she went from genius to "blankly sitting around like an idiot" during his disappearance. In the same volume, Touma finally makes his glorious return, making the papers and all, greeted by all of his female acquaintances in Academy City including: Hyouka, Seria, Fukiyose, Komoe, Aisa, and AWAKI. Mikoto ends up complaining about the guy to girl ratio and yells at them to stop taking her scenes. So it's 9,985, not really uncountable. Shokuhou Misaki may also be a candidate (New Testament Vol. 7).
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