User talk:Bnns

Updates

up to line 324 bnns - Talk 00:53, 30 May 2012 (CDT)

up to line 396 bnns - Talk 01:13, 31 May 2012 (CDT)

up to line 544 bnns - Talk 01:57, 6 July 2012 (CDT)

up to line 624 bnns - Talk 07:43, 8 July 2012 (CDT)

up to line 890 bnns - Talk 15:03, 8 July 2012 (CDT)

IS

Have done some work editing the first chapter of IS even though it hasn't been active for quite a while when i was reading the structure of a lot of the different sentences just didn't sit well with me. Either because the content was made too vague by redundancy of words or it was unclear either what was going on or who was the subject so i started making changes to make it clearer to the casual reader. If you have any questions or issues with edits please feel free to contact me.

You might wanna try signing your posts with. ~~~~. This automatically inserts your current signature into your posts. Also you can edit your signature to include a direct link to your talk page, like most advanced users here have, from your preferences. I will be revising your edits. As long as they don't destroy the Japanese feel of the chapters I won't have many problems. I think I had overlooked IS' earlier volumes. I look forward to working with you. Zero2001 - Talk - 02:27, 22 May 2012 (CDT)

Thank you very much Zero2001, my primary goal is to keep the authenticity, while making it read fluidly in the English. i will be looking forward to working with you as well. Thanks for the pointers. bnns - Talk 03:15, 22 May 2012 (CDT)

For IS, about 1/4 of the problem is that the author doesn't have a writing style for a novel, since he's been writing eroges before, which does make things choppy. If you check (and click) the view history tab on the top of each chapter, you will notice some comments Perfect Chaos made about the story. Of course, my preference is flow > literal translation, since each language has their own grammatical rules. When working on this, there are countless situations where I have to wonder what the subject is even though Ichika's the viewpoint the reader looks from most of the time. (Then again, this work isn't a work of art either way)--Teh Ping 05:53, 22 May 2012 (CDT)

Thanks Teh Ping, i took a look at some of Perfect Chaos' comments and i will try to follow his style. I will also follow the guide of flow then literal translation that you've recommended, it seems to make the most sense as by definition a translation is in some form or other an interpretation of the original author's intent. bnns - Talk 00:30, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

You should add yourself to IS' editors' list. You have been doing some heavy editing, so it's only natural. Zero2001 - Talk - 07:54, 22 May 2012 (CDT)

Thanks Zero2001 for the suggestion and the vote of confidence but i wouldn't feel right adding myself to the editors list until i've completed my edits for the first chapter. bnns - Talk 00:33, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

You're supposed to edit the grammatical flow, not the terms. SHR is a valid term that was used in the novel.--Teh Ping 02:56, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

I did some checks on your edits. No changes to terms are needed, and you don't have to assume whether Ichika or anyone else is talking or not. I did say 'flow', but I actually meant grammatically.--Teh Ping 03:07, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

Thanks for the info. I'll leave the structure and terms within the sentences as they are and focus more on making small grammatical adjustments, though when you say terms do you mean acronyms like SHR? or swapping out one word for another because it reads better? bnns - Talk 10:28, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

For this kind of story, the terms will refer to things like food, IS parts, lesson related things and such. The text gave it as SHR (Student Homeroom Meeting). You're free to edit any parts that you think doesn't flow/or synthesize the sentences, but do not take out specific terms because they are given as such.(It gets worse later on)--Teh Ping 10:47, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

Understood. I greatly appreciate your advice and guidance. bnns - Talk 11:15, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

Would like to say thanks for your efforts for editting the chapter. No offense intended, I saw that there are words such as "conspicuous" in your edits that I could not get the meaning at the first go, well it could be my literacy is a bit too low :(, would it be possible if there are other "simpler" words that can be used to replace for more fluent reading? This most likely won't be a big deal to most readers so there is no need to take my suggestion seriously. Once again, thanks for editting the chapter. :)

Thanks for the message i'll keep that in mind and i'll try to simplify the language that i use. The truth of the matter is for that particular sentence conspicuous fit only slightly better than obvious ... i think i'll change it to unmistakeable.... bnns - Talk 10:28, 23 May 2012 (CDT) I'll also try and look over what i did over the last little bit and make sure that the words are a simple as possible. bnns - Talk 11:18, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

For tougher parts you can use ref notes to explain. Zero2001 - Talk - 14:09, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

Reference notes are only to be used to explain Japanese-related thing or really obscure reference for common people. Vaelis 14:19, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

Thanks Zero2001, but in most cases it's about finding the best way to phrase it that's tough and not that it's a concept unique to the story or unfamiliar to the general audience... bnns - Talk 14:30, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

Vaelis is such a killjoy. Zero2001 - Talk - 23:48, 23 May 2012 (CDT)

Heh. bnns - Talk 00:32, 24 May 2012 (CDT)

Hi, regarding your recent edits, I couldn't really agree with some and reverted some back, could you please take a look at them again, because I felt that the changes somehow changed the meaning. By the way, your use of language is great, and most of your edits generally made the sentences look better. I am thankful for your efforts. Zakashi 04:32, 6 July 2012 (CDT)

Hey Zakashi, my only aim is to make the sentences clear and concise without changing much of the language and inadvertently the meaning, i'd be more than happy to discuss any changes that i make, some of them are just there to make the sentence flow better, more of a veneer than anything else. Though for the ones that you've change that i feel that are currently too inadequately written to convey the sense of what the words mean, i will try to explain my viewpoint on the matter of how the changed sentence better conveys the meaning. bnns - Talk 05:59, 8 July 2012 (CDT)

Yeah, there is nothing wrong with your aim, maybe it's just that our interpretation of the sentence differed, that's why, I look forward to what you have to say. Once again, thanks for editting. Zakashi 06:12, 8 July 2012 (CDT)

Most probably. I also meant to thank you for the compliments they are greatly appreciated as well as for your assistance as you've helped refine the text even further and i don't mean to imply that i have right answer for how the sentence should be written just that i'm trying to head in the general direction. For the most part from what i can tell of your changes, most are minor and debatable and only encompassed minor parts of the larger context that i had changed. I may have only one or two points that i feel may be more appropriate phrased in a slightly different manner. bnns - Talk 06:25, 8 July 2012 (CDT)

Thanks for the clarifications :D. Regarding the first edit you commented on, I just find that "had become considered superior" sounded a bit cut up, but I can't think of any other alternative phrasing, so I'll just leave it at that. Zakashi 07:25, 8 July 2012 (CDT)

Now that you mention it, it does sound a little weird... but no matter how many times i go over it in my mind it seems like the best option... If you come up with something that works better feel free to give it a try. bnns - Talk 07:41, 8 July 2012 (CDT)

No worries, have a good sleep! :D Zakashi 08:16, 8 July 2012 (CDT)