OreShura: Volume 6.5 Chapter 3
#3: The Drastic Jien-otsu Club
Boys have a hard time resisting "home-made" gifts—
When I heard one of the girls from my class (not my "classmate", because I don't have "mates") say this, I seriously couldn't believe my ears.
By home-made gifts, surely they meant "explosives."
Early in the morning, they'd delicately conceal a plastic explosive, that they personally made, in their boyfriend's shoe locker. And then they'd blow it up along with the door to express their red-hot feelings—this was a very frightening concept. But I suppose that's what's amazing about the lovestruck brains. They can accomplish things that I'm incapable of. It really fills me with admiration and longing.
A while ago I told this story to Eita-kun and I was splashed with his cold sweat in response.
“How the hell did you manage to make an association between homemade gifts and explosives?! That's crazy!”
Is that so?
I didn't think it was that strange of a thing at first. After all, don't they often say things like “explosive love” or “their love is raging and burning”? A trifling bomb isn't that much in comparison. I also heard that plastic explosives taste kind of sweet.
Anyways, let's talk about this another day.
A heartbroken Harusaki Chiwa knelt on the asphalt after her handmade cookies got trampled on. This is why I said you need to make a bomb, so you can tell the person who stepped on it “Idiot, you fell for it!”
“Huhhh? Chiwa-san, what’s wrong?”
The person who stepped on the cookies, Misora Miharu, seemed to not have realized what she did. Is she twisting her foot with the sole still on the ground on purpose, or is she just an airhead?
Misora-san picked up the package, staring at the cookies that already turned into powder form through the transparent wrapping.
“This black thing is…….coal?”
They don’t look like cookies at all, no matter how you see it, they look like coal. Even when you look at it from afar, it looks like bamboo charcoal. It’s definitely charcoal.
“Harusaki-san mined that from a coal mine just for Eita-kun.”
“I didn’t mine it! Those are cookies!”
The suspect denied the claim.
“The-these are cookies!? I’m sorry! I didn’t know!”
Misora-san lowered her head , panic showing on her face.
Is that really the case?
“Are these handmade? It’s all Miharu’s fault!”
“I-it’s fine, you didn’t do it on purpose after all……”
Although Harusaki-san’s face was still convulsing, she exhibited the generosity of an older person.
“That won’t cut it! Miharu is a bad girl! Please crush Miharu too! Crush!”
What kind of exhibition of responsibility is this? Misora-san seems like she is trying to become a substitute for the cookies.
She buried her face into Harusaki-san’s chest, grabbing the bulges with both her hands.
She is squeezing her face with breasts, it’s what they call “motorboating”.
Harusaki-san struggled as if she was drowning, but because Misora-san was slightly taller, she had trouble getting out of her grip.
Misora-san repeatedly yelled cutely, her face not showing any signs of being crushed. Harusaki-san petite part is exhausting itself just to squeeze the nose.
Maybe having realized she was just wasting her energy; Misora-san let go of Chihuahua.
“I’m sorry, it seems that it’s physically impossible♪”
“Ah, is that so♪”
Harusaki-san replied with a smile, veins bulging on her temple.
“……by the way,”
I took the chance to ask.
“Why do you know Harusaki-san’s name?”
“I heard it from Eita-oniichan on the phone yesterday night! You are his childhood friend Harusaki Chiwa-san, right?”
“She said he looks exactly like her late brother.”
Harusaki-san was totally entranced with Misora-san’s sweet smile. Looks like that smile of hers has the power to attract people of both sexes.
“You got pretty close with Eita-kun in just one day huh.”
“Ehehe, because Misora is a habitual mailer and dialer♪”
She stuck out her small tongue; even her facial expressions are seductive.
If it was just a normal guy with a lovestruck brain, it would be a one-hit kill.
……I think it should be fine if it’s Eita-kun; he’s anti-love after all.
“Miharu heard about the ‘club activities’ of Masuzu-san and you guys!”
“I-is that so?”
That guy, he’s even saying this without a care…….
I’ll punish him later.
It sounds re—ally interesting! Please let Miharu join too!”
This is strange.
To me, the club founder, although “Jien-otsu” looks like a group of lovestruck brains from the outside, it’s a society that acts against the lovestruck brains. I don’t think a lady who treats and loves Eita-kun as an older brother and has the thought process of a romantic comedy can follow up with our activities.
Dammit, this guy, how exactly did he explain it to her?
“Yo, what are all of you doing here so early in the morning? You’re going to be late.”
Speak of the devil, Kidou Eita appeared.
I stared at him straightly and he looked intimidated.
“Wha-what’s wrong Masuzu-san!?”
Misora-san instantly went and hugged Eita-kun; her hands hugging his neck tightly.
Aah, their bodies are touching. Hugging a boy in front of other people so simply, looks like the Fafnir Academy known as a ladies’ school has fallen too.
“Oi oi, what happened to you so suddenly?”
Eita-kun is making such a dirty look while he’s being hugged and also while patting the fake crying Misora-san’s back.
I’ll definitely punish him later.
“About that, onii-chan, it’s all Miharu’s fault, Chiwa-san’s……”
“Wah—! You don’t need to say that!”
The incident about the cookie almost got exposed, so Harusaki-san cut her off in a loud voice.
“What are you so flustered about Chiwa?”
“Nothing at all! It’s just the coal I dug out from a nearby coal mine!”
Harusaki-san shifted her eyes to her wristwatch intentionally.
“Wah, it’s already this late! I’m on duty today! I’m going ahead!”
Before anybody could call out to her, Harusaki-san ran away.
“What’s wrong with her?”
I pointed at the bag, staring at this slow guy.
“These are the cookies Harusaki-san baked.”
Eita-kun took the bag of cookies from Misora-san.
“Th-these black powders are cookies—!?”
He looked bewildered at his childhood friend’s handmade cookies.
“I heard she made it for Eita-kun.”
“I’m sorry! It’s all Miharu’s fault, this can’t be eaten now……”
It looked like Misora-san’s eyes were studying Eita-kun’s expression.
Her eyes are intriguing.
It’s as if she was testing him.
On the other hand, Eita-kun was staring at the cookies (powder) in the bag; cold sweat started forming on his forehead as he swallowed his drool a few times.
While I was still wondering what he would do, he unexpectedly opened the bag and poured the powder into his mouth.
“Wh-why are you eating it, onii-chan!?”
“Hahaha, I just happened to be a little hungry!”
The cookies disappeared in his mouth instantly like a liquid beverage. Eita-kun smiled and stuck up his thumb.
However, his face was pale, his knees were trembling, and disgusting sweat was falling down his cheeks.
“Oh, ohhh, ohhh……”
“Please get a hold of yourself, Eita-kun!”
I carried out my duty as a girlfriend and shook the shoulders of this man who exhausted his bravado.
“I-I sa-I saw it, Masuzu…...!”
Eita-kun’s eyes were blank, his fingers grasping at the sky.
“What? What did you see?”
“Oh, ohhh……I wanted to meet you, Okure nii-san!”
The nirvana between my boyfriend and the enigmatic entertainer.
“Please get a hold of yourself! Hey! Atemi!
I tried using a move I learnt from a manga.
It’s a move that knocks down the opponent by hitting the back of their neck but I think by hitting the opposite side, “Adam’s apple”, it should have the reverse effect and wake someone up.
Honestly, I didn’t think this would be effective, but—
“Go, gohogoho! Gefun!
The cookie stuck in his throat was coughed out instantly, and Eita-kun was revived.
Phew, this guy. A boyfriend that only ignites trouble.
“I-I’m saved. Thanks, Masuzu.”
“It’s nothing, you’re welcome.”
Although I can understand him wanting to be nice to his childhood friend, I still hope he stops acting so rashly.
Like the fight he got into in front of the station—I don’t want to see that again.
……these lines, I’ll never say them. He’ll get all smug.
“O-onii-chan, why did you do something like that?”
“Bu-but isn’t this a waste…..”
Eita-kun laughed and scratched his head. You should never make this type of man your boyfriend; you should never fall for him.
But Misora-san seems to be fascinated with his smile.
I smell love……
But at the very next moment, this smell disappeared.
“O-onii-chan is too kind!”
She looked as if she was trembling from her sentiments, tears welling in her eyes. It felt too pretentious, too dramatic.
“I-I love you! Love you love you love youuu!”
It’s that “pafupafu” again; she embraced Eita-kun into her small breasts.
“Why are you so kind? Be kind to Miharu too♪”
“Stoppp! The cookies are about to reverse their flowwwwwwwww!”
Although she seems to be approaching him proactively on the surface, it gives off a vibe that she’s trying to “evade”. Or should I say, she is trying to evade facing Eita-kun directly?
I can’t feel any “love” from this overexaggerated behavior.
The natural expression she had when she was staring at him blankly before is more “like it”.
Anyway, in a sentence.
……it’s probably on purpose.
Sixth period physical education was depressing.
No, every physical education class is depressing for me without exceptions, but since I’m forced to move after sitting down for half a day, it makes my day sad. If you want to kill me, I would rather die during first period.
The disappointing Chihuahua-san, who is good at everything aside from using her brain, didn’t understand how I felt; she was whistling while changing into her gym uniform. Today is a combined class with Class 5, making the originally small female changing room even more cramped.
“Eh? You’re saying the cookie incident in the morning was on purpose?”
“Yes, most probably so.”
When I brought up the topic of Misora Miharu, Harusaki-san looked dumbfounded.
“Then, what about her late brother being similar to Ei-kun?”
“That’s probably an excuse to approach Eita-kun.”
Harusaki-san’s skirt fell to the ground.
Her legs were exposed; white and slender, but at the same time, firm.
Honestly, no matter how you see it, they’re a pair of overly beautiful legs. She only eats meat, but there was no flab. Can anybody get such a tight pair of legs as long as they practice kendo? I can’t help but feel envious.
“Aren’t you just overthinking it? She doesn’t look like such a bad child.”
As she was saying that, Harusaki-san had already changed into her shorts. What a fast changing speed, is this also a result of her practicing kendo?
I didn’t fall behind her either, stepping into my shorts while sitting on a chair.
“It’s because of that, that I don’t know what she’s thinking about behind our backs.
“Isn’t that just you?”
“You sure can talk, huh?”
I countered the sharp words with a sharp voice.
In the cramped female changing room, a wide circle formed around us, with the other girls looking from a distance. It’s as if the “carnage” between Harusaki-san and I, and also Eita-kun, has become the specialty of Hane High.
“I think doubting someone without a reason is not nice!”
“I think trusting someone without a reason is strange.”
Our values are totally different.
I can’t help but notice that between me and Harusaki-san, even when it’s not on the topic of Eita-kun, we’re always on opposite sides. It’s like water and oil, no, it’s more like calcium chloride filled tap water compared with high class herb oil. Both of us feel that the other is too different.
“If it was Ei-kun, he wouldn’t say things like this!”
“Are childhood friends so similar that even their thoughts are the same?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Harusaki-san finished changing into her gym uniform, and smiled at the mirror in the changing room.
“Since Ei-kun trusts her, I trust her too.”
Really, how naïve can this pair of childhood friends be.
“Ah! But you’re an exception! Because you’re an enemy!”
“Because you’re my rival!”
Harusaki-san puffed out her small chest.
“Because, becoming more popular than the school’s number one popular girl Natsukawa Masuzu is my aim!”
“And to take Eita-kun away from me?”
Harusaki-san turned red after hearing that.
“Th-this has nothing to do with Eita-kun, does it?”
No way. This face is not reflecting what she said.
Alright, if you want to say it like that, I’ve got my own way too.
“If that’s the case, why don’t you let me test this determination of yours?”
“Test? What kind of test?”
I finally finished changing into my gym uniform.
I walked to Harusaki-san’s side and said to our reflections in the mirror.
“For club activities after school, please come in your gym uniform.”
At a side of the field, near the water fountain behind the gym, I set the “stage”.
This place is usually dark, but at this time, it’s brightened by the rays of the setting sun. Although the sound of the basketball team practicing that can be heard through the thin wall of the gym is slightly annoying, this is the only place that has water and doesn’t attract the attention of others.
“Well then, let us start today’s club activities.”
I held the water hose and sprinkler I borrowed from the football club in my hand, and looked at my club members.
A Harusaki-san in her gym uniform, shouting “Bring it on!” energetically.
An Eita-kun in his school uniform, being tied to a chair.
“Oi Masuzu……what are you trying to do?”
“I said, these are club activities.”
“I’m asking you what kind of club activity is this!”
“You’re asking me—what’s this? Isn’t that obvious? Our club only has one aim! And that’s to become a ‘super popular girl’!”
I turned the tap and let the water flow, writing on the ground with it.
And that is,
Drenched girls are, popular!
Looks like Eita-kun and Harusaki-san are so touched by my performance they can’t make a sound.
Somehow it feels like their “yes, yes” sounds a bit superficial, is it just me thinking too much?
“If you get wet, your clothes will stick to your skin! Showing off your curves! Your underwear translucent! All in all, you’ll become very erotic!”
Harusaki-san yelled loudly. Fufufu, shaken, right?
“Between Harusaki-san and I, who will be more appealing when we’re ‘soaked’? Let’s have Eita-kun judge it for us.”
“If it’s just judging, why must you tie me up!?”
“Of course it’s to stop you from esca……no, it’s to let you hand out a fair judgment.”
“I don’t understand what you mean!”
Let’s ignore Eita-kun for now.
“So that’s the case, after you, Harusaki-san. Please pour it with a ‘splash’ from the top of your head♪”
“Ho-how can I do that!?”
Harusaki-san hugged herself while walking back.
“If I get wet wearing my gym uniform, my clothes will definitely become see through!”
“How useless, even when Eita-kun is watching.”
“It’s precisely because he’s here that I can’t do it—!”
Just when our endless back-and-forth argument was going to start—
“Masuzu-san is right, you know~?”
The innocent smile appeared again.
With her back against the setting sun.
Misora Miharu walked towards us from the side of the field.
“......why, are you here?”
“Just like I told you this morning, I’m here to join ‘Jien-otsu’!”
Misora-san walked to my side, and looked around at the three of us.
“Bu-but middle school student shouldn’t be able to join, right?”
Although what Harusaki-san said was true—
“Hmm—my papa is a friend of the headmaster, there’s always a way, right?”
“Miharu’s papa is the chairman of Fafnir♪”
She grabbed the hose from my hand while I was still trying to figure out what to say, and before I could stop her, she poured water over herself with a splash.
Harusaki-san and Eita-kun, and of course me, were all taken aback by this.
This girl……without any sign of hesitation?
Although she was smiling childishly, there’s a strong sense of resolution coming from her coming from god-knows-where.
She twirled her wet hair with her finger while throwing Eita-kun flirtatious glances.
A mature look that doesn’t look like a middle schoolers.
Not just the facial expression.
Sticking to her uniform blouse, her slender shoulders look very alluring even to me of the same gender.
The body that lacks curves looks lewd because it was sticking to the clothes. Although it’s just a little, the small solid bulges compliment her childish look, creating an immoral allure.
“Hey, onii-chan, let me join your group too?”
When Misora-san turned her body, Eita-kun averted his face with all his strength.
“Do-don’t turn towards me! I can see it! I can see it!”
“What can you see?”
“Y-your underwear is showing!”
Misora-san laughed and took off her summer uniform’s vest and threw it aside.
I can’t help but be entranced by the water droplets dancing under the setting sun.
“Things like underwear will not be visible.”
On her graceful body, no matter how I looked, I couldn’t see the lines of a brassiere.
In its place, on the peak of the slightly bulging arcs, small peach coloured bumps were visible.
It can’t be, this girl……
“Because I’m not wearing any today.”
She said that as if she was confirming my suspicions.
She moved her slightly embarrassed face near to Eita-kun’s.
“So don’t worry, onii-chan……”
The man who wants to be the poster child for the Japanese virgins—Kidou Eita instantly turned bright red, and with his mouth opened, he stopped moving……looks like he lost consciousness.
Misora-san didn’t look disturbed at all by all of this, sitting on his knees.
“Wai—wha—wh—whawhawha—what are you doingggggg!?”
Harusaki-san couldn’t help but yell.
Misora-san’s expression changed instantly at this.
She dropped her devilish smile, staring at Harusaki-san as if she was piercing her with her cold sharp eyes.
“What am I doing? I’m only doing what you can’t, right? Miss childhood friend?”
—totally different from just a moment ago.
Just like that time.
Just like how she looked when she kissed Eita-kun on the cheek yesterday.
“To make onii-chan like me, Miharu can do anything.
She moved her small bump visible because of the water closer to Eita-kun’s lips.
The moment her small, strawberry-like bumps touched his lips—
She shook her hair as if she was shocked by electricity.
Then she let out a hot breath, staring at Harusaki-san, then me, and smiled slightly.
“I’m different from you♥”
At that very moment, I felt my body heat up.
I will not let her do what she wants.
Pure rage poured out from the core of my body.
I picked up the hose she threw on the ground, and poured water all over me.
Harusaki-san made an “ehhh!?” sound, but I couldn’t care less. I’ve already shut off my ears.
I glared at this girl who popped out of nowhere, sitting on my “boyfriend’s” knees as if it was her possession.
“Little children should move aside. Let me show the style of a ‘girlfriend’.”
Translator notes and references
- ”Pafupafu” in Japanese, it’s just like motorboating, but without the extra motorboat sound.
- Okada Nobuyuki, goes by the stage name Mr. Okure, Japanese comedian. For the record, he’s still living and well while this is being translated.
- A play on the series title.
- 当て身, traditional Japanese martial art technique. It’s just a blow towards the opponent, usually on a more vulnerable spot.
- He’s coughing, lack of expressive SFX in English.
- Originally “funsu”, it’s something like ‘’’( *｀ω´*)’’’.
- ”水もしたたるいい女”, literally “a woman so nice even water will drip”, a very beautiful woman.
- The word for “young” here is “瑞々しい”, “瑞” is pronounced “mizu”, similar to water, “水”.
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