Clannad VN:SEEN6800P7
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<3671> // May 24 (Monday) <3672> // The next morning. <3673> // My feet were heavy, coming into the office. <3674> // To be honest, I didn't want to come. <3675> // To cause that much trouble, what face would I put on? <3676> // Coming closer to the company step by step, only meaningless fear and bitter self-hatred grew. <3677> // Finally, I was in front of the company. <3678> // I put my hand on the sliding door, and after taking a breath, readied myself. <3679> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Good morning! Sorry about yesterday!" <3680>\{Ông Chủ} "" // \{Boss} "Morning. So, sorry about what?" <3681>\{Người Thợ} "" // \{Worker} "Oh, the young guy. You ran all the way to the site the other day, didn't ya?" <3682>\{Người Thợ} "" // \{Worker} "Our new young guy's got some admirable willpower." <3683> // I looked up, dumbfounded. <3684> // Where everyone should have been blaming me, they were praising me. <3685> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Umm... why...?" <3686>\{Johnny} "" // \{Johnny} "Why? You ran to the place, didn't you, boy?" <3687> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Huh." <3688>\{Johnny} "" // \{Johnny} "Hey, Yuu-san, this kid doesn't know the conditions, do you, boy?" <3689> // I coudldn't tell exactly what he was saying. <3690> // Just that Yuu-san happened to be Yoshino-san, as he came from inside, heeding the call. <3691>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "\m{A}? Morning." <3692> // An unusual smile. <3693> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Good morning." <3694>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "You have a mysterious face there." <3695> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Of course. I came here thinking that you would have an angry face..." <3696>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "Messups can't be helped." <3697>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "The problem is how to recover." <3698> // Calm words. <3699>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "If you do the best that you can, everyone will definitely appraise you." <3700>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "That's what I like about this kind of job." <3701>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "I thought you did absolutely everything you could yesterday." <3702>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "That's why everyone's saying so." <3703>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "Everyone thinks the same way." <3704> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "B-but if I had done it right..." <3705>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "You'll get used to screwing it up." <3706> // Though I'm grateful that Yoshino-san says that, but I couldn't agree. <3707> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "B-but, I ruined your holiday, Yoshino-san..." <3708>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "It's not for your sake. It's for the customer's." <3709>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "Because it was a job that had to be finished before before yesterday." <3710>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "You still don't get it?" <3711> // Silent, I shook my head. <3712> // Instead, I felt so inexcusable. <3713> // That's why I couldn't depend on Yoshino-san's kindness. <3714> // Doing that, Yoshino-san's expression changed in a subtle way. <3715> // Only just a bit, but almost as if he did. <3716>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "... if you do think something this insignifcant is inexcusable, then remember this." <3717>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "If you have the will to always continue in this job, you'll soon have to deal with a new person." <3718>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "Someone like you, who's young, who doesn't have a direction." <3719>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "When the time comes when he messes up, you'll have to follow up." <3720>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "If you want to return the favor to me, do that." <3721>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "That's your job." <3722>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "For that is also..." <3723>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "Love." <3724> // Though it'd be better if he didn't make that his last word... <3725> // But, I didn't really have any words to return either. <3726> // I was too much of a burdening child. <3727> // But, the day where I will walk on my own wil come. <3728> // That's why. <3729> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "... okay! I will! I'll remember!" <3730> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "That's why... I'll... work......\p my... hardest..." <3731> // I couldn't bring out any more words. That's why I kept bowing, on and on. <3732>\{Yoshino} "" // \{Yoshino} "You seem so tearful there." <3733> // Yoshino-san murmured as if shocked, and everyone patted my shoulder, as if sympathizing. <3734> // Now that I look back upon it, today might actually have been the day I really started. <3735> // Cohabitation <3736> // A lot of things have begun to move. <3737> // I've been doing well at work since that day. <3738> // And when it got dark, I'd talk a lot with Nagisa, brushing off the weariness from the job. <3739> // Simply waking up early was painful as always, but when I see Nagisa's sleeping face, my willpower builds up. <3740> // Nagisa also got to talk a lot with Nishina and Sugisaka. <3741> // That was becasue they had finished with the choir club, and finally got some time. <3742> // And thus, our calm life together began. <3743> // I went to visit the Furukawa household once a week. <3744>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Umm, \m{B}-kun, could I ask you for some advice?" <3745> // Nagisa asked holding some plastic containers. <3746> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Hmm?" <3747>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's about dad." <3748> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "What happened to pops? Did he trouble Sanae-san with some harassment again?" <3749>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That's not it." <3750>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Umm... well..." <3751>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It seems that dad formed a small theatrical company with the people he performed with, and they're launching." <3752> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Heh... that's somewhat, great." <3753>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Yes..." <3754> // It was probably hard for Nagisa to stomach. <3755> // He should still have been a member, hadn't he given up on his dream. <3756>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "They gave my dad an invitation to come to their performance." <3757>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Dad must want to go." <3758> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I guess. They're old friends, after all." <3759>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "But, he has work, so he's said he isn't going." <3760> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Work? It's just for half a day. What's he saying?" <3761>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "No, it won't be for half a day. This performance is in Kyushu." <3762> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Guahh... that's far..." <3763>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Even if he took a bus, he'd be gone for two days." <3764> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "But, it's okay for him to leave the shop open for at least two days, right?" <3765>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Dad leaves the shop a lot to play but, every morning he bakes the bread." <3766> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I see... then he'd have to close the shop down for two days." <3767>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Dad doesn't want to be negligent, so I think he'd say he wouldn't go." <3768>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "He's continued on in the bakery this whole time without stopping..." <3769> // That wasn't the only reason. He probably also has his own responsibility. <3770> // He'd act as if something like that had absolutely no meaning to him in front of her. <3771> // That's the kind of feeling I had about it. <3772>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "But, I'd like him for to go if possible." <3773> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah, I know." <3774>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That's why, \m{B}-kun..." <3775>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "How about baking for him instead?" <3776> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "........." <3777> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You will?" <3778>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I meant you!" <3779>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I did say '\m{B}-kun' clearly." <3780> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "It'd be impossible for me to replace pops." <3781>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You worked with them, \m{B}-kun." <3782> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "But it had nothing to do with baking." <3783>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You also helped mom." <3784> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (Sigh...) <3785> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (That reassures me...) <3786> // I suddenly spaced out. <3787> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Besides, I also have a job." <3788>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's next weekend. You don't have any work on Saturday. Didn't you say so, \m{B}-kun?" <3789> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I did, yeah..." <3790>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I have school, so I won't be able to help until the afternoon." <3791>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I actually want to bake it but... it's a lot of physical work, so a lot of it is impossible for me." <3792>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That's why I'm asking you, \m{B}-kun." <3793>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Or maybe you can't...?" <3794> // Not that I can't, but it's impossible <3795> // Guess we'll have to... <3796> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Not that I can't, but it's impossible." <3797> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Besides, pops couldn't rely on me for that." <3798>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's also something I'm asking fo you." <3799> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Even if you did, it's obvious it's impossible." <3800> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "He prides himself in that pretty well, after all." <3801> // Besides, he'd be so stubborn not to let this slip by, even with this. <3802>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That might be true..." <3803> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Besides, this time won't be the only time for the company, would it? They just launched, so they're only beginning." <3804> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Maybe in the future, they'll come nearby." <3805>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I suppose. That's probably true." <3806> // Pops probably wants to maintain a natural relationship with Nagisa just as much as she does. <3807> // I think it's better Nagisa not deal with this. <3808> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Pops can at least write back an answer, and we don't need to worry much more than that." <3809>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay..." <3810> // She nodded slightly, and didn't bring up the topic again. <3811> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Guess we'll have to..." <3812>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You'll help out?!" <3813> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah... I know how you feel." <3814>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Thank you so much!" <3815> // A man with a large build was leaning against an iron bar in the park, smoking a cigarette. <3816> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Hey, isn't that pops?" <3817>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Yes, it's dad." <3818> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "He's slacking off again." <3819> // We dropped by the park. <3820> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Pops!" <3821>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Yo." <3822>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Oh, it's you guys." <3823>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I'm back, dad." <3824>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Yeah, welcome back." <3825>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Dad, please look at this." <3826>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's vegetables that I cooked. Would you like to try them?" <3827>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Yeah, I'll take 'em in one shot." <3828>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You can't eat that way! I'd like for you to taste the flavor." <3829>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Yeah, I'll do that." <3830>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "And also, there's something really nice I'd like to talk to you about." <3831>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Oh? You're coming back to the house? Sounds like great news." <3832>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I'm not! I want to be with \m{B}-kun!" <3833>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Tch, I know. Don't make that so damn clear already, okay? He'll be so giddy, see!" <3834> // Nagisa looked at me. <3835>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "He's not really giddy." <3836>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "He just suddenly went back to a serious look. He's a broody lech." <3837>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "What's broody? I don't know what that is." <3838>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Talking about how he's such a lech, but covers it up like it's all normal." <3839>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun's not like that!" <3840>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "To hold on keeping that covered up... I don't think that would be excusable." <3841> // ... don't say something like that in front of your parents. <3842> // Like always, it took a while before we got to the question we needed to get to. <3843> // Glancing over to Furukawa Bakery, Sanae-san had just come out, and happened to find us. <3844> // Smiling, she came over. <3845> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yo." <3846>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "Good afternoon, \m{B}-san." <3847>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Ah, mom. I'm back." <3848>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "Welcome back." <3849>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "Akio-san!" <3850> // Greeting Nagisa with a smile, she turned to pops and made a cute scowl. <3851>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Yo, Sanae." <3852>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "Akio-san, you can't." <3853>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "You always disappear on the spur of the moment." <3854> // He really was slacking off. <3855>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Y-yeah..." <3856>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "I got bored 'cause there weren't no customers. Sorry." <3857> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (Giving some excuse won't fix it...) <3858>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "You were bored...? Then, that can't be helped." <3859> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (It did?!) <3860>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Yeah, I was just having some fun so that I wouldn't be bored. I'll go take care of the shop." <3861>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "Please do." <3862> // Oh man, I don't think I can slack off on baking the bread compared to a childish man like him... <3863>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That said, \m{B}-kun will be taking your place and baking the bread on Saturday and Sunday." <3864>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Oh, I'm lucky. Then I can sleep until noon." <3865>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That's not it! Please go and see the play!" <3866>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Play?" <3867>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That's right. Your friends from the theatrical company that launched invited you to come." <3868>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Tch... where the hell did you hear that?!" <3869>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "I told her." <3870> // Sanae-san really is an honest person. <3871> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Go and see them. I'll be baking all the bread." <3872>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "You know...! This ain't a job to be handing over to some damn amateur!!" <3873> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Weren't you saying, 'Oh, I'm lucky', just now?" <3874>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "... shut up, that was a joke!" <3875> // I knew it... <3876> // In front of Nagisa, he wasn't one that could touch the topic of drama. <3877>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Dad, please, go and see them!" <3878>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "Akio-san, don't be stubborn and go." <3879> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah, just go." <3880>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "Shut up, okay?" <3881> // ... why only me? <3882>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Dad, I'd like for you to behave normally." <3883>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I've been thinking about this." <3884>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "... in regards to me." <3885>\{Akio} "" // \{Akio} "........." <3886>\{Sanae} "" // \{Sanae} "Umm, I'll come and bring some tea." <3887> // Sanae-san stood from her seat. <3888> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Ah, I'll go and use the washroom, then." <3889> // I also went at the same time, leaving that place. <3890> // Gah... in the end, Nagisa's persuasion didn't work out. Pops didn't agree to it at all. <3891> // Nagisa was angry the whole time as we headed back. <3892>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "He still wouldn't leave it to you, \m{B}-kun, saying something so rude!" <3893>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Dad is so stubborn!" <3894> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Uh, well, I'm glad you covered for me but... don't be so agitated..." <3895>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I could have persuaded him a little more! It's so regretting!" <3896>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It bothers me so much!" <3897>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Hmph, hmph!" <3898> // For Nagisa to be this angry is quite rare. <3899> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You being angry is kind of interesting." <3900>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Eh? What's interesting?" <3901> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Your face." <3902>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Eh? Is it that strange...?" <3903> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "And I was thinking like, there's such a person at this time that's expressing her anger, huh...?" <3904>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That's embarrassing!" <3905> // Well, you're making that face again... <3906> // It felt like I got something done today, having seen a face of Nagisa's I never knew. <3907> // Cohabitation <3908> // And then, June ended... <3909> // And busy times went by. <3910> // Cohabitation <3911> // And then, June ended... <3912> // Work went well during June. <3913> // Cohabitation <3914> // And then, June ended... <3915> // May went by, and June ended... <3916> // The rainy season came upon us. <3917>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Umm, \m{B}-kun," <3918> // Seated at dinner. <3919> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Hmm?" <3920>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I have something to talk about!" <3921> // She was unusually tense. <3922> // It was something painful to discuss, without a doubt. <3923> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "What, you want a swimsuit?" <3924>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "No, that's not it!" <3925>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Ah, well... \wait{1000}not that I don't want one but..." <3926> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Okay then, let's go buy one during the holiday tomorrow!" <3927>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Ahh, well... is it really okay to be buying a swimsuit, I wonder...?" <3928> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'd also like to see what you look like in one. You don't happen to have a school swimsuit, right?" <3929>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "No... but, I don't really mind even if it was a school one." <3930> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I do." <3931> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I guess I really want to make my girl look cute." <3932> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "And all the men will be stuck looking at you... ahhh, feels so glorifying." <3933>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "No way, no one's seen me in a swimsuit!" <3934>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I don't really think such a style... is any good..." <3935> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "As long as you're cute, it's okay." <3936>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Even if I'm cute..." <3937> // I glared at Nagisa, telling her that it was fine, just before she denied it. <3938> // I told her not to look down on herself, and thus, she remembered. <3939>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Ahh... I guess... I'm cute after all, so I'm sure it'll be okay!" <3940>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Wait, if I say that, I'll be a weird girl!" <3941> // That made me so happy. <3942>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Geez, seems you're playing with me, \m{B}-kun!" <3943> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Well, don't pout like that. We'll go shopping in a rush, then." <3944>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay!" <3945>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Wait, that's not it!" <3946> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Eh? You don't want to go buy any?" <3947>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Sure, I'd be happy to, but not tomorrow." <3948> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Why?" <3949>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Umm, \m{B}-kun," <3950>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I have something to talk about!" <3951> // She went back to her topic. <3952> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Why are you being formal?" <3953>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Well... you see..." <3954> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I don't want to." <3955>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Eh? I haven't even talked yet." <3956> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Knowing you, I'm sure you're proposing something that I'd be reluctant about." <3957>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That might be true..." <3958>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "But, we've lived together for two months, now." <3959> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah." <3960>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Every week, we go to my parents' house..." <3961>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "But..." <3962>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "We haven't gone to your house, \m{B}-kun..." <3963> // I knew it... <3964> // I didn't want to come to this. <3965> // It felt like I was knocked from heaven, down to the depths of hell. <3966> // Even though I had been having so much fun... <3967>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun, how many times have you gone to see your father since you graduated?" <3968> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Like I'd know." <3969>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun!" <3970>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun, you have to tell me clearly." <3971> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "........." <3972> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Once, when I packed my stuff and left... that was all..." <3973>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I see..." <3974>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Then, let's go and see him tomorrow." <3975> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I don't want to." <3976>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Why?" <3977> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Because..." <3978> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I've been working so hard..." <3979>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Yes, I know..." <3980> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'd at least... like to spend time on the holidays with you." <3981>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I promise I'll spend time with you next time, okay, \m{B}-kun?" <3982> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "No. Tomorrow, too." <3983>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun..." <3984> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Don't... you understand?" <3985> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "That distance between me and \bthat person\u..." <3986> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "A distance that will never be filled." <3987>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Yes..." <3988>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "But, you've also become a working adult, and have gone through a lot of difficult things." <3989>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You've worked hard, climbing over everything." <3990>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "If it's now, I thought you might be able to go meet him, to confront him." <3991> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "........." <3992> // I wonder... <3993> // Have I... gotten stronger? <3994> // From the day when I ran away? <3995> // Maybe I was deceiving myself, so that I wouldn't look at that... <3996> // Besides that, I've been working hard with everything else. <3997> // All for you, Nagisa. <3998> // That's why... <3999>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun," <4000>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I'll be with you. I always will be." <4001>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "If we're together, we can beat anything." <4002>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Am I wrong?" <4003> // You are <4004> // ......... <4005> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You are." <4006>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Eh... I am?" <4007> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I've been doing everything to make you smile and be happy." <4008> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "But, even if I tried with my father, it'd be useless..." <4009> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'd just feel terrible..." <4010> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Well? Am I right?" <4011> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'm independent now... I don't need my father." <4012> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I only need to work as hard as I can for the two of us." <4013>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun, you're stubborn." <4014> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You too..." <4015> // This might have been the first time where we put our opinions against each other without pulling back. <4016> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You have a good family, so you must think it's simple." <4017>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I wonder about that..." <4018>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's just that I was thinking that if it was you right now, you could face forward a lot more." <4019>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Or maybe I had the wrong idea?" <4020> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You talk pretty well..." <4021> // Words like having the wrong idea or being a letdown really hurt a man's self-respect. <4022> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You have the wrong idea." <4023> // Even so, I didn't pull back. <4024>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "........." <4025> // For a while, the two of us were silent. <4026> // There weren't any words even after we finished eating, and while we cleaned up. <4027> // Nagisa was seated at the desk. Was she doing her homework? <4028> // I looked at her from behind, turning down the TV volume. <4029> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (Is she angry...) <4030> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (If that's the case, it's a bit rare...) <4031> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'm gonna go take a shower." <4032> // Saying just that, I stood up. <4033> // Finishing up and returning to the room, Nagisa was seated. <4034> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'm back." <4035>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay." <4036> // She remained looking at her notes, making only that response. <4037>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "........." <4038> // Even at ten o'clock, there wasn't any indication of her working. <4039> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Hey, Nagisa, it's already ten o'clock. You should go and take a shower." <4040>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "........." <4041> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Or what, you're not taking one today?" <4042> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You've been sweating, right?" <4043> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Is it okay when I hug you after you've sweat?" <4044>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "........." <4045> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Are you fine with that...?" <4046> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (Are you so stubborn that you'll keep that up until I sleep...?) <4047>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "........." <4048> // What should I do? <4049> // Should I apologize? <4050> // But, I was just persistent in what I thought was right. <4051> // To apologize for that is strange. <4052> // But, I want her to face me. <4053> // I want to talk like we always do. <4054> // ......... <4055> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Hey, Nagisa..." <4056> // Just at the same time when I didn't know what to do anymore, calling her name weakly... <4057>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I'm done!" <4058> // Nagisa held her notes high. <4059> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Eh...?" <4060>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I've finished all of my homework!" <4061> // Scrubbing her knees, she faced me, saying that. <4062>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "With this, I can go out with you all day, \m{B}-kun." <4063> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "All day...?" <4064>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Shopping." <4065>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You didn't want to go?" <4066> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "W-well... I did say that, didn't I...?" <4067> // I was so relieved, I thought I let out a tear. <4068> // She wasn't ignoring me. She was only concentrating. <4069>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "We don't have to buy anything. I'd just like to see the place where swimsuits are sold." <4070> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "No, I'll buy it. I definitely will. I'll buy whatever you wear." <4071>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "No way, I'm not going to be wearing any of it, so you don't have to force yourself to buy anything." <4072> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Then, one thing that you like." <4073>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay... if it's one thing that I like, then I might pester you." <4074> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Fine, I'll buy that. I definitely will." <4075>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "All right. I'll ask you then." <4076> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "........." <4077> // When she puts it that way... I can't tell her she is. <4078> // We want to work hard and conquer every obstacle. <4079> // We've been working hard this whole time so... <4080> // But... have we... <4081> // really become any stronger... if it's the two of us? <4082> // Even if... \pit's something like this that can't be helped...? <4083> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Then..." <4084> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Would you always hold my hand?" <4085>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Yes." <4086> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "If we part... I may run away then." <4087>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay. I won't let go until we come back." <4088> // The next morning. <4089> // The two of us stood in front of the nameplate labeled '\m{A}'. <4090> // The place I haven't visited ever since graduating. <4091> // And... the first time Nagisa really did come here. <4092>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I'm tense..." <4093> // From Nagisa's standpoint, it was a simple situation involving meeting the parent of the boyfriend she's been living with, nothing more. <4094> // Ahh... if only \bthat person\u were a normal parent. <4095> // If that happened, Nagisa would also get along much like I do with pops and Sanae-san... create a new family, and live happily ever after. <4096> // It was inexcusable to have such a parent that wasn't. <4097> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You're sweating." <4098>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Oh, I see..." <4099> // She raises the hand she's holding mine with. <4100> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Wanna dry off?" <4101>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "No, it's fine." <4102>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Umm... unless you're feeling bad, \m{B}-kun..." <4103>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Ah, well... even if you are, I won't let go!" <4104> // She grasped my hand tightly. <4105> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "........." <4106> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Well... \pI'm sorry." <4107>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Eh?" <4108> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "To make you feel pressured just from seeing my father..." <4109> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'm also bringing a problem here..." <4110> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "And I didn't want to come see him either..." <4111>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "No, that's completely fine." <4112>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Ah, well... meeting your father is what's tense." <4113>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "About how you like a girl like me..." <4114>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "But it really makes me happy that you can endure being with me in regards to your problem." <4115>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Ah, well... saying it makes me happy is rude." <4116> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "No, it's fine." <4117> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I can understand that." <4118> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I had those feelings ever since I met you, after all." <4119>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Is that so...? Then I'm glad." <4120>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Then let's go, \m{B}-kun." <4121> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah." <4122> // My father was sleeping lifelessly in the living room. <4123>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Has he always been sleeping over there?" <4124> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah." <4125>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "He'll catch a cold." <4126> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "He's used to it." <4127> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Hey, father." <4128> // I shake his shoulder. <4129>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Mmm..." <4130> // He cleared his throat, and then opened his eyes. <4131>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Ahh..." <4132>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "That be you, \m{B}-kun...?" <4133> // Moving his body, he then moved to a kneeling position. <4134>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Umm, nice to meet you!" <4135> // Nagisa deeply bowed to my father, facing him. <4136>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Eh...?" <4137> // Someone other than me was in the house. This was a situation that never happened once before. <4138> // But after the moment my father was surprised, he immediately fell calm. <4139>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Are you... \m{B}-kun's friend?" <4140>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Yes... I'm Furukawa Nagisa." <4141>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "We're close friends from school... in the same year." <4142>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Oh... \wait{1000}how about now?" <4143>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Now... umm... well..." <4144> // I showed him the hands that we were holding. <4145> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "We're going out." <4146>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Oh... \wait{1000}you finally did as well, \m{B}-kun..." <4147>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "I'm glad, I'm glad..." <4148> // What a hateful smile... <4149>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "The two of us are living together." <4150>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Where at?" <4151>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's an apartment close by. I'll guide you there." <4152> // Don't. <4153>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "An apartment... wouldn't it be small?" <4154>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It might be small, but it doesn' thave to be wide." <4155>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "The space we have right now is enough." <4156>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Renting at first is painful, isn't it?" <4157> // ... you think you know what you're talking about? <4158>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "This house is rented though but... you can use it if you need to. There are rooms left over." <4159>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "No... that's too much." <4160>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "We left the house, so that we'd work hard with our own power." <4161>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That said... I'm grateful you offered, but we'll have to turn it down." <4162>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "I see..." <4163>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "You can come any time. In troubling times, you can tell me." <4164>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Thank you so much." <4165> // Nagisa looked at my face. <4166> // ... he's a nice person. <4167> // That's what her eyes tell me. <4168> // That's why I expected what she'd say next. <4169>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Umm... \m{A}-san," <4170> // Nagisa so called my father. <4171>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Hmm?" <4172>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I apologize, to have been... keeping \m{B}-kun away for all this time." <4173>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "It's okay..." <4174>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It might have been painful for you." <4175>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "That's why..." <4176> // Don't say it... <4177> // ... I'll always bring \m{B}-kun with me. <4178> // Don't say that. <4179> // I tightened my grip on Nagisa's hand. <4180>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "........." <4181> // Nagisa stopped... \pclosing her eyes. <4182>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Ah... well..." <4183>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I'm... really sorry." <4184> // ... she picked up what I felt. <4185>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Well... you don't have to apologize like that..." <4186>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "I'm happy that we're meeting like this." <4187>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay." <4188>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Really, you can..." <4189>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "come at any time." <4190>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay, thank you very much." <4191> // And from there, we continued on to trivial topics. <4192> // Like stuff about how vacant land's being used up, how the area around us has changed a little bit, etc. <4193> // Nagisa perservered to make things favorable, and all I did was listen in. <4194>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "\m{B}-kun?" <4195> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Eh...?" <4196> // He suddenly talked to me. <4197>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "\m{B}-kun... you've been eating her cooking every day, haven't you?" <4198> // He repeated himself. <4199> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Y-yeah..." <4200>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "I'm envious. I've always been eating take-out food." <4201>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Umm... it'll be noon very shortly, so how about I make some?" <4202>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay?" <4203> // I gave her a glance, telling her that much was fine. <4204> // To be sitting at a dining table with my father gave me the shivers. <4205> // Besides, how many years had it been? <4206> // But, if I can put up with this, I'll just sit without making eye contact and finish this. <4207> // That was the attitude I promised Nagisa earlier. <4208> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah..." <4209> // That's why I thought I should hang on. <4210> // Nagisa opened the refrigerator. <4211>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "There's nothing here." <4212> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Guess we'll have to go and buy something." <4213>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Yes." <4214>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Are you coming?" <4215> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Of course." <4216> // Leaving my father, we headed off for the grocery store. <4217> // It had been an hour by the time we got back. <4218>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "We were a bit slow. I'll make it quickly." <4219>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "It's fine, I'll be patient." <4220> // She went past my father, returning to the kitchen. <4221>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Will you also help, \m{B}-kun?" <4222> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah, I'll help but..." <4223> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Are we gonna do this like this?" <4224> // How long have we been holding hands exactly? <4225>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Yes." <4226> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "My left hand's pinned down, and your right hand holding the kitchen knife will be juggling around." <4227>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "We can do this well." <4228> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "We'll definitely get injured!" <4229>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Really?" <4230> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Oh, whatever. I lose. Let go, so you can handle it the way you need to." <4231>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I'm not letting go." <4232> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I won't run away." <4233>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It has nothing to do with that." <4234> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "If you don't, my left hand'll be in trouble." <4235>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I see... then it can't be helped." <4236> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'll hold you from the back instead." <4237>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "If you do that, I'll get injured!" <4238> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'm joking, I'm joking. I'll watch you right from behind." <4239>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Then I'm relieved." <4240> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Okay, let go." <4241>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay." <4242> // Pain ran through my fingers as I opened them. Was it bent the entire time? <4243> // My palm finally had a breath of fresh air. <4244> // The sweat from the two of us cooled off. <4245>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Well then, I'll be starting." <4246> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah, good luck." <4247> // While staring at Nagisa from behind, I heard a voice from afar. <4248> // Did he turn on the TV? <4249> // Then I heard another sound. <4250> // A voice mixed with my father's. <4251> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (A guest...?) <4252> // I peep in. There was an unknown man. They happened to look my way. <4253>\{Người Đàn Ông} "" // \{Man} "Good afternoon." <4254> // He bowed to me. <4255>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Mm... \m{B}-kun," <4256> // My father looked back at me, seated on the floor. <4257>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "This is Shijou-san." <4258>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "My co-worker." <4259> // Co-worker... <4260> // From before? Or someone new? <4261> // If it's a co-worker from before, then I'll have faith in that. <4262> // As far as I know, there shouldn't have been anyone bad. <4263> // A drinking friend from when he was triumphant and full of energy. <4264> // But if it's a new co-worker, then I definitely wouldn't. <4265> // The way my father is now, he shouldn't be able to tell who's good or bad. <4266> // If he's come with some profitable discussion, without a doubt he'd take it suspecting little to nothing. <4267> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "What job?" <4268>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "An antique store." <4269> // I never heard anything like that. <4270> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Go away." <4271> // I declared with a low voice. <4272>\{Người Đàn Ông} "" // \{Man} "Eh...?" <4273>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "\m{B}-kun, this person's a good man." <4274> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I said go away." <4275> // I repeated that, ignoring my father's words. <4276>\{Người Đàn Ông} "" // \{Man} "Y-yeah..." <4277>\{Người Đàn Ông} "" // \{Man} "I'll come another time, \m{A}-san." <4278> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Don't come again!" <4279> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'll beat the shit out of you if you do!" <4280>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "........." <4281> // My father was dumbfounded, seeing him off. <4282> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Hey..." <4283> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Have you talked to your old co-workers?" <4284>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Yes..." <4285> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Really?" <4286>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "No... not yet..." <4287> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "........." <4288> // I said nothing for the remainder of my anger. <4289>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "But you know... I thought I might get lucky or something so..." <4290>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "I haven't had anything good come in so long..." <4291>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "This time, really..." <4292> // I grab his shoulder. <4293> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Something important like that isn't decided through a gut feeling, you idiot!" <4294> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Your gut feeling over your ridiculous luck...!" <4295> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I don't know what the hell you think of me but...!" <4296> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Even I'm not so stupid as to let myself roam around so miserably...!" <4297> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Because you see...!" <4298> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'm your goddamn family!" <4299>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "........." <4300> // We stopped for a while. <4301> // He put his hand to his chin. <4302> // And then then brushed his unshaven face. <4303>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "\m{B}-kun..." <4304>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Come on, today..." <4305>\{Cha} "" // \{Father} "Your girlfriend came so..." <4306> // What...? <4307> // Is that your excuse now? <4308> // An excuse to get away from the fact you can't tell your real family? <4309> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "........." <4310> // I want to hit something, I don't care what. <4311> // The wall or the glass will do. <4312> // Throw a punch <4313> // Deal with it <4314> // I swung my arm. <4315> // Clatter, a large sound. <4316> // I don't remember too well what happened afterward. <4317> // The back of my hand was hot. <4318> // Nagisa embraced me. <4319>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun, you can't...!" <4320>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You'll cut your hand...!" <4321>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You have to go and see a hospital...!" <4322> // The scenery changed. <4323> // A familiar hallway. <4324> // Yeah... <4325> // I came from this abominable place, didn't I...? <4326> // I was relieved with just that. <4327> // Nagisa was with me. <4328> // And always will. <4329> // Looking at my hand, there was a white bandage wrapped around. <4330> // I look down at the lower half of my body. <4331> // Blood had stained my trousers. <4332> // Nagisa looked at me all the while. It felt like she said I had to have them washed up. <4333>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun, do you want to take a bath?" <4334>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Just your body, so that your hand doesn't get in?" <4335>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It might be difficult, so I'll help." <4336> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Well... my body's hot, so it'll be bad." <4337>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Then, how about just your legs?" <4338> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I guess." <4339> // I had been always calm ever since coming back to the apartment... <4340> // It really felt like Nagisa was about to cry. <4341> // Even though she didn't hate my father... <4342> // Even though she had prepared lunch... <4343> // It was all my fault it had all gone to ruin... <4344> // Even so, Nagisa wanted to cry, being beside me. <4345> // I wanted her to know how much I had regretted that. <4346> // And then... I comforted her, telling her it was fine. <4347> // But... <4348> // That was being naive. <4349> // I turned around in the darkness towards Nagisa's back. <4350> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (In the end... I've always been running like this... haven't I...?) <4351> // Dealing with the pain on my own... I spent the night without sleep. <4352> // I closed my eyes. <4353> // And take a deep breath to cool off. <4354> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (Nagisa...) <4355> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (... Nagisa...\p Nagisa...) <4356> // I repeatedly called her name in my mind. <4357> \{\m{B}} () // \{\m{B}} (I'll be calm soon, okay... Nagisa...) <4358> // My trembling hand... <4359> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "........." <4360> // It was enveloped in the warmth of someone else's. <4361>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "What's wrong, \m{B}-kun?" <4362> // Ahh... I really... <4363> // did calm down in an instant. <4364>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "\m{B}-kun, there was yelling just now." <4365> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Oh...\p it's nothing." <4366>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Then, I'd like for you to help me." <4367>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Something difficult just came up." <4368> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Okay..." <4369> // Understanding the situation, I was grateful that Nagisa took me away. <4370> // After that, my father and I didn't exchange any words. <4371> // I only talked with Nagisa. <4372> // It had been many years since we sat at the dining table for a meal, but... <4373> // That wasn't a family meal. <4374> // It was just one of those meals that acquaintances happen to have... <4375> // Even more, it was unpleasant, like the relationship between them wasn't that strong... <4376> // ... that kind of meal. <4377> // On the way back. <4378>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You hung in there, \m{B}-kun." <4379> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I didn't do anything, though..." <4380>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "You did by coming." <4381>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "And you were there until the end." <4382> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I guess... since I've always been running away..." <4383>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I think this much is fine." <4384>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "If only it weren't so, strange." <4385> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Like that there wasn't any family...?" <4386> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Didn't you say so before... that even if separated, somehow we could communicate...?" <4387> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "No one communicated to anyone." <4388> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Not even... in the heart." <4389> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Even so, is that fine?" <4390>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Well, the last thing I meant was... that it wasn't strange at all." <4391> // Is that related...?\p Even now? <4392>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Even the neighbors talk about how boys leave the house and only come back on New Year's." <4393> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "........." <4394> // If she's really speaking of thinking it's fine to go once or twice a year... <4395> // In that case, it feels like I could put up with it. <4396> // Because if I gained the power to face forward, even a little, then I'd feel that I've been saved. <4397> // Because... I've always been running away. <4398> // I didn't want Nagisa to see that me. <4399> // But, in the end... Nagisa was beside me, so... <4400> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Nagisa..." <4401> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I sometimes get afraid." <4402>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "About?" <4403> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "When I'm thinking about the meaning of my life." <4404>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "The meaning of your life?" <4405> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Yeah..." <4406> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I was able to meet you, Nagisa." <4407> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "And... now I'm able to be with you." <4408> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "See... if I'm with you, and can make you happy, then that makes me happy." <4409> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "No matter how painful my work becomes, I'll sweat it off and continue working." <4410> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "And when I come back home, you're there." <4411> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Everyday, those days are my one and only happiness." <4412> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "That's why I think that's my meaning of life." <4413> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "But, I also think that just happened to happen." <4414> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "If I were never to have met you, what would I be doing right now...?" <4415> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "For what reason would I be living for...?" <4416> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "In such a family... with such a terrible bond..." <4417> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I wouldn't have any friends after I graduate..." <4418> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Even the people that work hard..." <4419> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I wouldn't be working hard for any of them..." <4420> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Exactly what would I be living on...?" <4421> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Other than living with you, Nagisa, I don't think I hold any meaning to my life." <4422> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "That's why I'm afraid..." <4423> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "It's like saying that we met by fate..." <4424> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I don't believe in such a thing." <4425> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "That's why I think it was fortune." <4426> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "It was good luck that brought me to you." <4427> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Thinking that, it feels like there's no universal meaning to my life." <4428>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "........." <4429>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "At that time... I think someone else will be with you, \m{B}-kun." <4430> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Really...?" <4431> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I think I'd be alone." <4432> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "It's because it's you, that you want to be with me." <4433> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Particularly you from before. You were saying that, weren't you?" <4434> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "At the time, I was like that." <4435> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Though as I grow older, I may think differently about it..." <4436> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Even so, I'm sure if I never met you, then I would be alone." <4437> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "And...\p my father would trouble me..." <4438> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "I'd be at a loss, having even no support..." <4439> // And then, when I discover that I have no meaning to my life, what would happen? <4440> // The root of my fears is within that. <4441> // I felt like the vague, massive existence called "living" was swallowing up the small existence called "me". <4442> // It would be overwhelming... not something I would resist. <4443> // Even if I shouted alone, it'd be useless. <4444> // Even strong willpower would not reach. <4445> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Hey, Nagisa, could I come over there...?" <4446>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Ah, sure... go ahead." <4447> // I left my futon, and slipped into Nagisa's. <4448> // The warmth of her body was cozy. <4449> // For a while, we looked at each other in the darkness, without touching each other. <4450> // And then in the end, I hugged her. <4451> // Pulling her small back in with both my arms. <4452> // Our chests touching together was warm. <4453> // Our faces touched, our noses brushing against each other. <4454> // A pleasant scent came from her. <4455> // I'm being supported by something this small but, just hugging her like this calms me like a child. <4456> // Yes, I met someone such as her. <4457> // I was lucky. <4458> // But, this was reality. <4459> // I'll stop, and not think too deeply about this anymore. <4460> // And after that, all that's left is to continue protecting her. <4461> // I'll just think that and live on. <4462> // That's what I thought. <4463> // Passing through the middle of July, the days became warm and humid. <4464> // The setting sun lit the room up at evening, bringing steep and high temperatures. <4465> // Nagisa prepared dinner like that. I figured she was tired from the heat, so I went out to a junkyard and picked up an electric fan. <4466> // There would be a lot of people lined up buying one before the heat wave came, and so I was able to find one without much trouble. <4467> // It blew, could hang, and everything was working. Wherever our hands could reach, it could as well, so it filled its function well. <4468> // It was placed in a corner of the room. <4469> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Just this makes the room suddenly feel so small..." <4470>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "But, it feels like summer's come. It's somehow elegant." <4471> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You're saying it." <4472> // She pushes the switch and turns it around. <4473>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's really cool." <4474> // She brings it close to her face, fluttering her forelocks. <4475> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "But, I guess I really do want an air conditioner." <4476>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "The fan is enough." <4477> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "It'll just keep getting hotter, you know." <4478>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's fine. There have been times back at home where we didn't use cooling either." <4479> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "But, the setting sun is pretty strong on this room." <4480>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's fine. I can deal with it." <4481> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "You sure?" <4482>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Yes, I am." <4483> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Well, if it gets hot, you can go in your underwear." <4484>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "No I won't!" <4485>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "I'll wear normal clothing, with an apron, and make dinner that way!" <4486> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "The fan's blowing a pretty strong wind." <4487>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "It's not strong, but it is blowing." <4488> \{\m{B}} "" // \{\m{B}} "Don't waste electricity, okay?" <4489>\{Nagisa} "" // \{Nagisa} "Okay."
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