Difference between revisions of "White Album 2/Script/1001"

From Baka-Tsuki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
(→‎Text: The jet engine's line has bothered me for weeks now. I hope this works out. I wasn't sure if there was still deliberation on the final line or not, so I took a crack at it. Change the lines back if you don't like these.)
Line 35: Line 35:
 
|4||
 
|4||
 
|耳をつんざくジェットエンジンの音が、<br>ゆっくりと遠ざかっていく。
 
|耳をつんざくジェットエンジンの音が、<br>ゆっくりと遠ざかっていく。
|The sound of jet engines tears away at my ears, <br>and fades away as they grow ever more distant.
+
|The scream of the jet engines tear away at my ears, <br>and calmly fades away as they grow ever more distant.
 
|If possible find a more 'violent' way of conveying the tearing, and a 'softer' way to indicate the release}}
 
|If possible find a more 'violent' way of conveying the tearing, and a 'softer' way to indicate the release}}
   
Line 389: Line 389:
 
|63||
 
|63||
 
|黒く汚れ、ぐちゃぐちゃに踏み潰された泥のように。
 
|黒く汚れ、ぐちゃぐちゃに踏み潰された泥のように。
|Black, dirty and sloppy, like mud trampled over repeatedly.
+
|Black, dirty and filthy, like mud trampled over and over.
 
|There has to be a cadence in this sentence. Something to indicate the continual stamping and frustration and incessant dirt involved in the whole affair.
 
|There has to be a cadence in this sentence. Something to indicate the continual stamping and frustration and incessant dirt involved in the whole affair.
 
//I like this idea but it's a bit exaggerated imo. Toned it down. -N.}}
 
//I like this idea but it's a bit exaggerated imo. Toned it down. -N.}}

Revision as of 14:49, 13 December 2014

Return to the main page here.

Translation

Editing

Translation Notes

Text

Script Chart

Edit this section For more instructions on how the script chart works, please click here.

If you are below the age of consent in your respective country, you are advised to not read any adult content (marked by cells with red backgrounds) where applicable. Otherwise, you are agreeing to the terms of our Disclaimer.