Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume1 The Fifth Question
The Fifth Question
Fill in the ( ) in the following sentence with the correct answer.
Light is a wave and a ( ) as well.
Himeji Mizuki's Answer:
Tsuchiya Kouta's Answer:
[an object that will bounce away all things that get close to it]
Your answer always surprises me!
Yoshii Akihisa's Answer:
I like to play RPGs as well.
Class D Representative Hiraga Genji died in battle!
The speakers announced this information throughout the school amid the victorious shouts from Class F and the cries from Class D.
"Amazing! I can't believe we actually won against Class D!"
"Now we can say goodbye to the tatami and the chabudai!"
"Ah, now that rotten stuff will belong to Class D!"
"Long live Sakamoto Yuuji!"
"That guy's not too shabby!"
"Long live Sakamoto!"
"I love Himeji!"
People were praising Class Representative Yuuji from every direction.
I looked at the direction where Yuuji was standing earlier, and saw him surrounded by the Class F students and standing among the crestfallen Class D students.
"Ah, it's nothing! After being praised by you guys like this, what should I say?"
Yuuji scratched his cheek and turned his face away. Surprisingly, he was pretty shy.
"Sakamoto! I want to shake your hand!"
Everyone was treating him like a hero. From looking at this situation, you could understand how much we disliked that classroom. The tatami in that classroom were really rotten, so it was normal for us to dislike it.
OK, I should blend in with the crowd and find a chance to get close to Yuuji.
"Oh, isn't it Akihisa?"
Yuuji turned his head back.
I went close to him with a refreshing smile on my face.
"I want to shake hands with Yuuji as well!"
And then held my hand out.
"Yuuji... I just want to shake your hand, so why are you holding my wrist like this?"
"Shut up... Of course I have to restrain your hand like this... Hmph!"
My hand was twisted in the wrong direction.
I couldn't stand the pain, so I shouted out like an impaled pig and accidentally dropped the knife I had been holding in the other hand.
"Yuuji, it is good to win this War with everyone."
"I never knew that completing jobs with fellow classmates could give you such a good feeling. I am so touched that even my wrist joint is feeling the pain!"
"What were you planning to do just now?"
"I just want to use this hand, which is so painful that it feels like it could break at any time, to shake your hand and share the joy of victory!"
"Oi, someone go and get a pair of pliers!"
"W... wait! I'm sorry!"
He finally let go of me. It was extraordinarily painful!
Come to think about it, what was he going to do with pliers?
It seems that Yuuji was mumbling about something. What was he talking about?
I will never fight with him again.
"I never imagined that Himeji actually belonged to Class F... Unbelievable."
Someone's voice was coming from behind me.
I turned my head to see who was talking, and saw Hiraga, who could hardly walk properly, slowly coming towards us.
"Ah, I... I'm sorry for what happened just now."
Himeji also ran towards us from the opposite direction.
"No, you don't have to apologize. This is just the result we get for not fighting Class F seriously."
The world of competition was very harsh. They lost because they were being cheated, but there was nothing that Himeji needed to apologize for.
"I will hand over the classroom according to the rules. However, it is very late now, so can we do it tomorrow?"
This was so sad for the general who lost the battle! During the next three months, they won't be able to declare a Summoner Test War, so he would have to suffer the hatred from his fellow classmates in that lousy room. The class representative would be a hero if their class won the war, but if they lost, they'd be a sinner.
"Of course there's no problem with doing it tomorrow. Right, Yuuji?"
Looking at his current state, I really couldn't bear to ask him to hand over the classroom now, so I turned to Yuuji and asked for his opinion.
"No, there's no need for that."
I couldn't believe the answer that was coming from Yuuji's mouth.
"Because I never planned to get Class D's classroom."
Yuuji told us his plan as if it was like that from the beginning, but I had no idea about that at all.
"Yuuji, what's wrong? It took us so much effort to get these normal facilities, right?"
"Haven't you forgotten something? Our final goal is to defeat Class A!"
Defeating Class A, this was Yuuji's and my final goal.
"If that's the case, why isn't Class A our target? Isn't this very strange?"
If we were going to fight them head-on sooner or later, then why didn't we just attack Class A directly instead of wasting energy doing things here and there?
"Go measure your own capability! This is why you got the nickname 'Idiot Brother' from the secondary school students nearby."
"What are you talking about? Stop saying lies that are half true!"
"Ah, I am sorry. It should be the primary school students nearby, right?"
"...That's not the wrong part."
"What...? Do you really have such a strange nickname?"
D-Don't look at me! Stop looking at me with those looks on your faces!
"Anyway, I don't plan to take away any of your Class D facilities."
"Of course, this is the best outcome for us... but are you sure?"
"Of course, but I have one condition."
That's right. If we let them go so easily, then this War would have been meaningless.
"Let's hear it."
"Don't worry, it's nothing special. When I give you the signal, I want you to break that thing by the window. That's all."
Yuuji's finger was pointing at the external section of the air conditioner outside the window.
However, that machine didn't belong to Class D. Class D's facilities were just normal things that you could find in a slightly poorer high school, which didn't include anything like air conditioners. It was there because there was no space in its owner's class, so it was placed outside Class D's classroom.
"The external section to Class B's air conditioner?"
"Of course, breaking it might cause you to be scolded by the teacher, but this trade should sound good enough for you, right?"
If they "accidentally" broke it, they would at most just get serious warnings from a teacher. However, if doing so could help them avoid staying in the broken room for three months, there was no better deal than this.
"This definitely sounds good to us. But why do you want to do this?"
Hiraga's question was very reasonable. If our aim was Class A, why are we doing unrelated things like targeting Class B and breaking their air conditioner?
"It's related to our tactics against Class B."
"Is it? Then I shall gratefully take your offer."
"I will talk to you again the day after tomorrow, at around this exact time. You can go back now."
"OK, thanks. Hope you can defeat Class A according to plan."
"Haha, stop saying things you don't mean. You're actually thinking that we'll definitely lose, right?"
"That's right. Class F can never win against Class A. That's just wishful thinking."
Class D's representative, Hiraga, raised his hand and then left the scene.
"Everyone! Thanks for the hard work today! Tomorrow we'll be replenishing the scores we've used, so everyone should head back and have a good rest! That's all for today!"
After Yuuji gave out the commands, everyone chatted with each other and walked back to the classroom to pack up their stuff before leaving.
"Yuuji, should we go as well?"
The feeling of winning was really great, but to tell the truth, I was really tired. We will continue the war tomorrow, so I should just head back and rest!
"Ah, w-wait, Sakamoto."
Just as Yuuji was preparing to leave with everyone else, someone stopped him. That person was Himeji.
"Oh, Himeji, it's you!"
"Actually, I have something to ask Sakamoto."
She pressed her hand against her chest, looking a bit excited. It must be something important; maybe I should avoid them and leave.
"Oh, I know."
After saying that, Yuuji walked to Himeji and chatted with her in front of me. I hardly heard what they were talking about, and somehow I felt a bit lonely.
Himeji just stared at Yuuji like she was really concentrating and totally forgetting my existence; it had to be something important.
Huh? Could it be that... Himeji actually didn't realize my existence? Could she have never noticed me at all? Damn! If that's the case, I'll just pull up her skirt until I'm satisfied!
"This is a good chance, Akihisa. Let's just pull up her skirt right now! Isn't it about time to see the underwear of such a pretty girl?"
What!? Are you the devil in my heart? Damn! Are you here to tempt me onto the path of the delinquent? Don't look down on me! My sense of justice will not lose!
...Eh? Where is the angel? Where is the angel in my heart? Wait, come out now! Isn't this showing that I only have an evil heart?
"Anyway, I was a little bit interested in the beginning, but because that guy came and talked to me about it, I became more interested in it."
While I was fighting with my own mind, the two of them were walking towards me.
"Eh, why would Yoshii say something like that?"
Both of them continued to chat, neither of them knowing about the fight I had in my heart.
"Come to think about it, he did mention what happened during the placement test. Maybe it's related to that, which means even idiots have things they won't give up."
Yuuji was talking in a very friendly way, adding some jokes into the conversation. Looking at him, what was he talking about? Could it be a love confession? Did Himeji like Yuuji?
"'Placement test'? Oh, that's right..."
"I can only say this much, but Himeji, I think your guess is correct."
I see, no wonder Yuuji looked so proud. Being loved by such a cute girl, there was no reason he wouldn't feel happy.
...By the way, why hasn't the angel in my heart come out yet?
"Oi, Akihisa. We should go back now."
"Ah, OK. Have you finished chatting with Himeji?"
"Yep, now her resolve is stronger. Right, Himeji?"
After being asked by Yuuji, Himeji's face immediately turned red, and I could even imagine a "Boom" sound effect above her head. This skill was really stunning.
"Oh, is it? I'm not sure what's going on, but let's go. Bye, Himeji."
"Ah, yes! See you tomorrow!"
Himeji's face was still red. She kept waving her hand and watched Yuuji and me leave the classroom.
"Nothing's wrong with pulling up her skirt, right?"
The angel in my heart, you were too slow! And even you agree with pulling up her skirt!?
"Was it really necessary to fight Class D? There are many other ways to break the air conditioner, right?"
"Ah, you're talking about that?"
We were on our way home, and because our houses were in the same direction, we usually went home together.
"There are many other reasons, such as getting everyone used to the Summoner Test War, putting pressure on the other classes, improving our self-confidence, increasing our morale, and so on."
"I see. Then, why aren't we taking Class D's facilities?"
"That's because our final target is Class A. If we take Class D's facilities, some of the students could be satisfied with just that and start to go against the Summoner Test War. To avoid something like that from happening and to maintain the energy everyone has due to dissatisfaction, I purposely made that decision."
Surprisingly, this guy thought a lot. After listening to Yuuji, I couldn't imagine him as a person with bad results. Or I should say... I saw the "Prodigy" in him again.
"Can we win against Class A?"
"Of course. Leave it to me."
"Thanks, for the trouble I caused because of my stubbornness."
"Not really. The reason I came to this school is to do something big in the Summoner Test War."
Yuuji unintentionally looked into the distance.
When Yuuji was a kid, he was called "Prodigy". However, his past glory had faded. Yuuji never said anything about it, but he's most likely where he is now because of his lack of motivation to study.
Test scores become the power of the Summoned Beings in the Summoner Test War. Although Class F's results were obviously bad, if they used their intelligence and strength in this War and won against Class A, it would prove that those who couldn't study could also stand on top. I think that's what Yuuji wants to prove.
"To achieve our goal, you need to help me. Anyway, let's concentrate on replenishing our scores tomorrow."
This meant that we were going to have tests tomorrow. We used up a lot of scores today, so it looks like we're going to have tests on every subject tomorrow. Oh, no, it would be tests for the entire day!
"Don't just play games; read some books before you sleep!"
"Alright, alright. I will at least read the boo... Eh?"
This is so strange; why is my bag so light? Maybe...
"Ah, my textbooks! I left them under my chabudai!"
"Idiot, hurry back and get them."
"Aww... Then you go back first."
"Then again, why should I wait for you?"
"I knew it, you are heartless."
I was nearly home. Complaining wasn't going to help, so let's just get the books and go home!
I thought about that and ran to the school, which only had a few students participating in club activities left.
I sighed and put on my indoor shoes, then headed towards the Class F classroom.
Just like I had gone back to my own home, I shouted once and walked into the classroom. Because of the chabudai and tatami, this room looked more like home than a classroom.
Himeji was in the classroom that I thought was empty.
She looked panicked. What's wrong with her?
I looked towards Himeji's seat (?), and saw a cute paper letter and an envelope on her chabudai.
"Ah, t-this is..."
What was she doing? Although I don't know what they're for, it looks just like she had prepared the paper and envelope and was ready to write a love letter to Yuuji.
"Face the truth: it is a love letter."
Shut up, devil in my heart! I won't be deceived by your lies! Even if you say so, what proof do you have to show that this is a love letter?
"This is, ah..."
"OK, I understand, no problem."
With a crashing sound, Himeji tripped on her chabudai.
The letter she had been hiding behind her back flew in front of me, and I accidentally saw one of the sentences:
"I like you."
"Nothing can prove that this is a love letter more than this, right?"
"Understand? This is the truth."
"Isn't it time to give up?"
I folded the letter that had flown towards me, and returned it to Himeji.
To show that I was a caring person, I joked,
"This letter of misfortune is really special!"
"Are you prepared to neglect it until you die!?"
What are you talking about, you stupid devil!? Every time you say something, it causes me misfortune! I won't be cheated anymore!
"Er, I think you're mistaken..."
"You don't have to do that. Just come to me and tell me, I can do it directly. Ah, don't worry, I will go borrow the stun gun from Yamashita next door."
"Yoshii, this is not a letter of misfortune!"
"No way! This is definitely a letter of misfortune! I am feeling very misfortunate now!"
I swung my arms like a kid, and suddenly something soft grabbed my hand. When I looked properly, Himeji was holding my hand, trying to stop me from going berserk.
"Calm down; acting like this will make you harm yourself."
Her voice was filled with warning.
When I calmed my darkened heart down, these hopeless facts were starting to corrupt my heart.
"...There's nothing I can do... I have to accept it."
My knees felt powerless, and I just knelt down. What's going on? Why did I get this losing feeling two days straight?
The person who would receive the letter is Yuuji, right? I'm concerned about it.
"The person receiving it is our class...?"
"Yes, he is our classmate."
Himeji blushed, but she answered my question without hesitation.
Then it was obvious. That's right, that person is Yuuji. However, I didn't want to name him and embarrass Himeji.
"Is it? What's good about that guy? Maybe his appearance is acceptable!"
"Ah, no, what attracts me is not his appearance. Ah, of course I like his looks!"
"Damn! I hate that guy from the bottom of my heart."
"Is that true...?"
"Yeah, for me, a person with no confidence in my looks, that sounds too good."
"Eh? Why!? You look very handsome! My friend is interested in you!"
"Eh? Are you sure?"
Even I think that her friend is mad.
"Yeah. Although I'm not too sure about the details, whenever she saw you and Sakamoto walking together, she would say, 'Muscular-looking Sakamoto and beautiful-looking Yoshii walking together look pretty as a picture.'"
"Your friend is a good person; you have to be good to her."
"Other things she says are 'Yoshii is obviously the uke, right?' and so on."
"I take back my words. Stay away from her. That world is still too early for you, Himeji."
Yuuji and I... Ugh!
"Anyway, besides looks, isn't his inner side good as well?"
"Ah, er... yes..."
"That's right, his liver looks very strong and healthy!"
I'd be able to sell it at a good price, I think.
"That's an organ inside the body."
"That, although I think it's not possible, is that person's personality good?"
"Of course, no problem!"
Whaaa...? I never imagined that Himeji would speak so loudly. I'm scared. I never knew that she liked Yuuji so much.
"What's good about his personality?"
"Very... very gentle...."
The person who cheated me into getting assaulted by Class D and nearly broke my arm was a gentle person?
"I'll give you the numbers now; have you prepared your pen and paper? Don't worry, he's a very good brain surgeon."
"My brain is perfectly fine!"
How could it be possible!? What made you think that he was gentle? What kind of cruel family did you grow up in, Himeji!?
"Gentle, bright, and optimistic... he is my idol!"
Listening to her honest opinion, it gave me a strong feeling that made me unable to laugh at her.
"About that letter..."
In a situation like this, I couldn't do anything to destroy their relationship. Since Himeji liked Yuuji so much, as a fellow classmate, I couldn't stop myself from cheering for her.
The smiling Himeji was just too adorable; I really envied Yuuji from the bottom of my heart.
The next day, I went to school as usual.
In order to replenish the scores we lost in the war, we have to undergo a whole day of tests. I need to do my best now.
Along with the *kala kala* sound effect, I opened the classroom door.
It was still tatami and chabudai in the classroom. I still felt a little remorseful for not getting Class D's facilities.
"Oh, Akihisa. You were almost late!"
"Ah, good morning, Yuuji."
Yuuji had arrived earlier than me in the classroom, and he sat down near the chabudai beside mine, the English textbook in his hand. It seems that he was still planning to do some last-minute studying before the test.
"Anybody complain about anything?"
"Huh? Complain about what?"
"About Class D's facilities."
We all put in so much effort and won the War, but in the end, we didn't take the enemy's facilities; it would be normal for some of us to feel unhappy about it.
"Ah, that! I explained it to everyone, so there's no problem at all."
I think it's because of Yuuji's performance yesterday that people follow his orders so well. Besides, now that they know it's possible to win against higher-level classes, they probably lost interest in Class D's facilities.
"By the way, are you all right?"
"About what happened yesterday."
Wait, which event is he talking about...? Ah, is it about Yuuji's execution?
"Ah, even an idiot like me will give up doing stupid stuff like that after knowing that my nails will be pulled off for doing it."
"No, I'm not talking about what you planned to do to harm me."
Then what is it you're talking about? I totally don't know what Yuuji is trying to tell me.
"What are you trying to say...?"
My speech was interrupted by a punch from nowhere.
"Sh-Shimada, good morning..."
"This is not the time to say good morning!"
Shimada looked like she was really angry.
I was lying on the ground now and was able to see her underwear, but I was not feeling happy at all.
"You idiot, if you couldn't save me yesterday, that's fine. But how dare you use the fire extinguisher to break the window, and then blame it on me...!"
Oh... now I remember.
"And thanks to you, my ranking on the 'Most Unwilling to Be Her Boyfriend' list is even higher now!"
That's surprising; I thought you were at the top of that list already.
"...I was planning to tie you up for interrogation and torture."
Suddenly, Shimada calmed down.
By the way, before you tie me up, haven't you hit me enough already...?
"I think you've had enough punishment already, so I shall forgive you this time!"
"Yeah, I couldn't stop my nose from bleeding until now!"
"No, I didn't mean that."
"Huh? Then what do you mean?"
"The first test we have today is on Math."
Shimada looked really happy, as if from the bottom of her heart, and said,
"And Ms. Funakoshi is supervising it."
The moment I heard this sentence, I dashed out of the classroom and ran down the corridor.
"Hahhh... That was tiring."
I lied on the table and sighed.
We finally finished the tests on four subjects. The tests alone were exhausting, but suffering Ms. Funakoshi's questioning at the same time made me even more exhausted.
By the way, I introduced an otaku that was living around my house (thirty-nine years old, single... male, I think?) to Ms. Funakoshi, and told her that's all I wanted to tell her yesterday.
"Hmm. You look exhausted."
Hideyoshi said that as he came out of nowhere.
He had a ponytail hairstyle today. Oooh... this is exactly what I like. He's a guy, but he was tempting me with that pose now!
"... *nodding his head like mad*"
Muttsulini, who was always quiet and whose presence could hardly be felt, was beside Hideyoshi.
"Good, let's have lunch now! I will have ramen, katsudon, and fried rice with curry today."
Yuuji was still looking energetic and was still standing; you couldn't see any bit of tiredness on his face. What material is he made of? And he eats too much for his lunch.
"Hmm? Yoshii, you guys are heading to the cafeteria? Can I come with you?"
"Ah, Shimada, you want to come as well? No problem for me!"
"Then I'll go with you guys."
Muttsulini nodded and agreed; maybe he was planning something. Idiot, there was nothing good from a tomboy like Shimada.
"Yoshii, are you thinking something bad about me?"
Her sixth sense was scary.
Anyway, I finally got the chance to rest during lunch break. I should eat something nice to recover my strength! But you couldn't really get anything nice from the cafeteria.
"Then I will be luxurious today, and have a salted water meal today..."
When we stood up and prepared to head to the cafeteria, someone's voice stopped us.
"Hmm? Ah, Himeji, is that you? Want to go to the cafeteria together with us?"
"Ah, no. Err... it's about l-lunch. That, I promised everyone yesterday..."
Himeji looked at us uneasily. What's wrong?
"Ohhh, could it be the lovely lunch?"
"Y-Yes, if it's OK with everyone."
She brought out the package from behind her after she said that.
Really!? Himeji, you really are a good girl! Thanks to you, I might be able to live a few days longer!
"Of course it is OK for everyone! Right, Yuuji?"
"Yeah, that's right. Thank you."
"Is it? That's great."
Himeji showed a happy smile. This is so strange; she's the one who made the lunch, but she's happier than us who are eating it for free. I really don't understand what gentle girls are thinking.
"Hmph... Mizuki, you're pretty aggressive..."
Shimada stared at me fiercely as if I was a murderer who killed her dad.
I don't understand what fierce girls think either.
"Then, since we have someone who made lunch, let's eat at the rooftop instead of at the classroom."
For such high-class food, it's not acceptable to eat in a lousy room filled with rotten tatami and the stench of male sweat. We should go to an enjoyable location such as the rooftop, enjoy the food there, and feel grateful to the chef.
"Is it? Then you guys can go there first."
"Huh? Yuuji, where are you going?"
"I'll go get some drinks, as a treat to you guys for the effort yesterday."
"Ah, then I'll go with you! You can't carry so many drinks at the same time, right?"
It was very rare to see Shimada being so caring. Did she take the wrong medicine?
Yuuji agreed without a doubt. If it were me, I'd surely feel wary of being taken to some place and getting beaten up badly.
"Remember to save a share for us."
"Don't worry, but I can't guarantee anything if you get back too late."
"I don't think I'll be late. Let's go!"
Yuuji and Shimada took their wallets and left the classroom. Looks like they're heading to the convenience store on the first floor.
"We should get going as well."
I took the package from Himeji and walked to the rooftop.
These boxed lunches are pretty heavy. It seems like she put a lot of effort into making lots of different dishes; I am so touched.
"Great, the weather is pretty good!"
We reached the rooftop and opened the door, and a clear, cloudless sky welcomed us. This was the best weather for eating boxed lunches.
"Ah, I brought the blanket."
Himeji took out the blanket for picnics out of the basket. She seems to be well-prepared; maybe she brought the whole picnic equipment set.
We felt excited and started preparing together. There was no one else on the rooftop, as if we had booked the rooftop for ourselves; that's great.
"This feels really good..."
I lazily laid myself on the blanket, enjoying the sunlight and the breeze that was blowing towards me.
"Er, I'm not very confident..."
Himeji opened the cover of the meal box that was only used during New Year's time.
All of us gasped in surprise.
It looked so delicious. There were karaage, tempura, onigiri, bamboo shoot rolls... whatever dishes you could name, all were there in the meal box.
"Sorry, Yuuji, I will start..."
"... *took a piece*"
"Ah, Muttsulini, you are too cunning!"
Then, he smoothly put the food into his mouth...
*Sound of Muttsulini collapsing*(?)
Muttsulini boldly collapsed, and his muscles were slightly twitching.
Hideyoshi and I looked at each other.
Himeji panicked and dropped the disposable chopsticks that she was preparing to give to us on the ground.
"... *sudden standing*"
Muttsulini stood up.
Then, he faced Himeji and raised his thumb.
He probably tried to say "delicious"!
"So, so that suits your taste? That's good."
Muttsulini's thinking must have been delivered to Himeji, because she looked so happy.
However, Muttsulini, why do your legs keep shaking? You look just like a boxer who was about to get KO'd.
"Don't restrain yourself; eat as much as you can!"
Himeji showed her smile, and told us to eat more.
When she put it that way, it looked like we couldn't refuse at all. I even had a feeling that I should eat all of it no matter how awful it was.
...But I still couldn't forget Muttsulini's empty-looking eyes and shaking body.
"Hideyoshi, those dishes, what do you think?"
I whispered to Hideyoshi, using a low volume so that Himeji couldn't hear.
"...No matter how I look at it, that was not faked."
"That's right, now we're in deep trouble."
"Akihisa, is your body strong?"
"To tell the truth, my stomach is very weak. It's degenerated because I rarely eat anything."
Of course, Hideyoshi and I were using our happiest-looking faces to talk to each other; we couldn't allow Himeji to discover our conversation and the shock in our heart.
"Leave this to me!"
Hideyoshi bravely spoke in a low voice.
"Stop kidding, this is too dangerous!"
"No problem. Although I might not look like it, my stomach is very strong. Even sprouted potato can't harm me."
"Don't worry! Believe in my iron stomach..."
He had the appearance of a pretty girl, but he was saying some manly lines. At this moment...
Yuuji appeared on the stage.
Before we could stop him, he used his hand to take a piece of fried egg.
*Sounds of munching*. *Sounds of Yuuji collapsing*... *Sounds of juice cans hitting the ground*.
The juice cans fell to the ground, and rolled everywhere.
"S-Sakamoto!? What's wrong!?"
Shimada appeared behind him and saw what happened. She immediately dashed towards Yuuji.
...There's no mistake about it: Himeji is a real killer chef...
I looked at Yuuji, who was shaking crazily like Muttsulini.
After that, Yuuji, who was on the floor, used his eyes to ask me:
Did someone put poison in the food?
This is not poison; this is the true ability of Himeji.
I also used eye contact to answer his question. This was the secret technique that could only be used by us since we've stuck together for a long time; it was very useful in a situation like this.
"Ah, my leg... suddenly cramped."
Yuuji told a kind lie because he was afraid to hurt Himeji's feelings. Himeji, maybe it is just like what you said yesterday; Yuuji is a gentle guy.
"Ahaha, it must be because you've been dashing up and down the stairs, right?"
"Ah, maybe that's the reason."
"Really? I thought Sakamoto was pretty strong and healthy."
Shimada, who was totally unaware of the situation, showed a doubtful face. It seems we should make her get off the stage before she speaks too much.
"By the way, Shimada, the spot where you placed your hand..."
"Huh? What's wrong?"
"A bug just died there not long ago."
This was total bullshit.
"What!? You should've said so sooner!"
She panicked and moved her hand away. That made her look a bit more like a girl.
"I'm sorry. You better go wash your hand."
"You're right. I'll be right back."
Shimada left the scene. Now the danger was lowered by a little bit.
"We can't let Shimada eat something like this, right?"
HAHAHA... the frank laugh of three guys spread all across the rooftop.(?)
Akihisa, it's your turn now!
D-Don't be silly! I will definitely die!
What happened just now has lowered my determination...
Yuuji, eat it! Himeji definitely wants to see you eat it.
Does she? I thought this was for you, Akihisa.
No way! You don't understand a girl's mindset!
No, if you put it that way, you are the one here who doesn't understand...
Shut up! Stop struggling!
"Whoa! Himeji, what's that!?"
Himeji turned around and looked in the direction where my finger was pointing.
I took the chance and stuffed all the food into Yuuji's mouth.
Yuuji's eyes had already turned white, so I grabbed his lower jaw and helped him swallow the food. When you're eating, remember to munch carefully and swallow it slowly.
"Hoo, finally finished it."
"...I didn't know you were so good at torture!"
Although I was being commented like this by Hideyoshi, I didn't care at all.
Yuuji was lying on the ground and shaking even more crazily than earlier, but I still didn't care.
"I'm sorry, I think I saw wrong."
"Ah, I see."
I never would have imagined that Himeji would fall for such a classic trick; this is so helpful. But she is too pure; I'm worried for her now.
"The lunch was very delicious. Thanks for the food."
"Yeah, your cooking skill is very good."
Thanks to Yuuji, the meal box was cleared without any problems. Our hearts were as clear as the sky now!
"Aww, that was fast. Have you finished it all?"
"Yeah. And Yuuji kept on saying, 'Delicious, delicious,' while he was still eating it."
Yuuji, who was at the corner of our eyes, weakly shook his head.
Don't worry, you've left a good impression on Himeji. Maybe she'll make lunch for you again.
"Is it? I'm so happy..."
"No, no, no, we are the ones who are happy. Right, Yuuji?"
I signaled Yuuji to show a reaction. Since he was still conscious, there should be some reaction from him.
"Augh... augh... Th-Thanks, Himeji..."
This is so terrible; his eyes look very empty.
"Speaking about good food, there's a café in front of the station that just opened not too long ago..."
In a situation like this, the person who changed the topic was me. This was all to keep Himeji from saying, "Then I will bring lunch for you guys tomorrow."
"Ah, the comments about that shop are pretty good."
"Huh? There's a shop there?"
"Yeah. To thank you for the lunch, Yuuji will treat you there."
"You bastard, don't simply make promises in other people's stead."
It seems our tactics were successful. We have finally avoided the crisis.
Now we were just chatting about everything and enjoying this warm time together.
"Ah, that's right."
Himeji put her hands together.
"Huh? What's up?"
She put her hand into the bag and searched for something.
"I prepared dessert as well."
"Ahh! Himeji, what's that!?"
"Akihisa! Even I will die if you do it again!"
Yuuji risked his life to stop my plan.
Tch, you little bastard, your reaction was pretty quick, huh?
Akihisa! Are you planning to kill me!?
There's no other way! This mission can only be done by you, Yuuji! I will leave this to you!
Don't be an idiot! I won't do it even if you use that shonen manga-like frank smile and ask me to.
If you say that, why don't you do it yourself!?
What!? Why are you posing like that!? What are you trying to do to me!?
I am going to punch your heart using my fist, and then stuff everything into your mouth after you faint! Take this!
No! Crazy killer...!
Yuuji held his fist firmly, but exactly one second before the fight began, Hideyoshi quietly stood up.
...Let me do it.
Hideyoshi!? Don't be reckless, this is life-threatening!
And you actually want to sacrifice me!?
Of course! Compared to a smelly guy like you, Hideyoshi, who has a pretty appearance, is so much more important.
No problem. My stomach is very strong; eating these will at most cause me to get dyspepsia.
That's true: Hideyoshi's stomach can nullify the poison, so maybe he can resist these desserts.
"What's wrong with you guys?"
"Ah, nothing! Nothing at all!"
"Ah, could it be...?"
Himeji's face suddenly darkened.
Did our unwillingness to eat these desserts get exposed!?
"I'm sorry. I left the spoons in the classroom!"
The desserts inside the container were fruit mixed with yogurt (or looks like it, anyway), so chopsticks were really not suitable for eating them.
"I'll go get them now."
Himeji disappeared at the stairs' entrance. Now is the time.
Use this chance and eat them!
Hideyoshi held the container in his hand, looking like a warrior who treated death like returning home.
"...I'm sorry. I will never forget your kindness."
"Sorry. And thank you."
Facing us who were bowing and quiet, Hideyoshi smiled and spoke, as if nothing would happen:
"Don't make it like I'm going to die. I don't plan to do so yet!"
"Ah! Hideyoshi, we're counting on you!"
"OK. Leave this to me. I'll start eating now!"
Hideyoshi raised his head, and ate the entirety of what was inside the container.
"*Munch munch*. What, this is just normal... Ack!"
Life is like a flower of virtuosity, and another flower has fallen in the blink of an eye.
"...Sorry for forcing you to eat that food just now."
"...I'm glad you understand that."
The person who proclaimed himself "Iron Stomach" was now lying on the floor, white foam coming from his mouth.
"By the way, Sakamoto, about the next target..."
"Huh? Regarding the Summoner Test War?"
After the very eventful lunch, everyone revived and casually enjoyed the tea, especially Hideyoshi. He was trying to drink as much green tea as he could. I heard that green tea can help kill bacteria!
By the way, Shimada only managed to buy green tea. Although she was very angry, we were very grateful.
"The next opponent will be Class B, right?"
"Yeah, that's right."
This reminded me that Yuuji mentioned something yesterday about destroying Class B's air conditioner that was outside Class D. What was that about?
Since Class B's air conditioner had nothing to do with attacking Class A, would that mean we will be dealing with Class B next?
"Why Class B? Isn't our final target Class A?"
Class A was our target. Everyone must be wondering why we were challenging Class B, which was one rank lower than Class A, right? By the way, I didn't understand why, either.
"I'll be frank."
Yuuji suddenly turned serious.
"No matter what tactics we use, we can never win against Class A with our fighting ability."
Admitting we lost before fighting? This was not what Yuuji would do.
However, this was not news to us. Fumitzuki Academy divided the classes from Class A to Class F, and Class A wasn't just any ordinary class; you could say that their abilities were in a totally different dimension from the others'. For all fifty people in Class A, forty of them were still beatable; they were just normal students whose results were a little bit better than Class B's.
The remaining ten students were totally different. Especially the Class Representative Kirishima Shouko; her ability was totally beyond anyone's imagination. Even if we managed to take them by surprise and surrounded her, we'd end up getting beaten badly.
No matter what tactic you used, if you could not defeat the Class Representative, you could never win the War. Since we couldn't defeat her, we had no chance of winning at all.
"Then our final target will be changed to Class B?"
Although it was still some distance away from Class A, Class B equipment was pretty good as well; I believe that no one would be unhappy about it.
"No, that's not going to happen. Our final target will still be Class A."
"Yuuji, this is totally different from what you just said, right?"
I continued the conversation after Shimada. Being able to defeat Class A or not meant a lot to me.
"If we fight as a class, we can never win, so I decided to challenge them to a duel."
"A duel? How are we going to do that?"
"We'll use Class B to achieve that."
"Use" Class B? How?
"Do you know what happens when the lower-ranked class loses in a Summoner Test War?"
"Eh? O-Of course!"
Actually, I didn't know.
"Yoshii, if the lower-ranked class loses in the War, their equipment will be one rank lower."
Luckily, Himeji reminded me from my side. I see, so that's what would happen!
"The equipment will be downgraded, right?"
"That's right... which means that if Class B were the lower rank, their equipment would be downgraded to Class C."
"Of course. That's common sense, right?"
"And what if the higher-ranked class loses?"
"They will be sad."
"Muttsulini, go bring me a pair of pliers."
"Wait! Are you trying to transform my body into one that will never need nail clippers?"
I didn't say anything wrong. They would be sad, right?
"They will need to exchange their equipment with the lower class."
Himeji helped me answer the question again; she was such a good girl.
"Yeah, I am going to use this rule to negotiate with them."
"If we win against Class B, I will ask them to attack Class A so that they won't have to exchange equipment with us. Even if they lose to Class A, they will only get Class C equipment, which is much better than Class F equipment. This should work smoothly."
"Then I will use this to negotiate with Class A, warning them that 'we will start attacking you after you have finished fighting with Class B'."
It would be tiring for them to fight another War after they finished a fight with the second-highest class in the same Year.
Although this was the same for Class F, we had our unhappiness which motivated us. We might not be as smart, but we were very motivated.
However, it was very different for Class A; they wouldn't get anything from winning a War, and they didn't want to waste time with an opponent like Class F. The morale between Class A and us would be very different.
"However, there is a problem with this strategy. It might cost more energy, and the process will be troublesome, but a Summoner Test War is a much more secure way to win against Class A compared to a duel, right? Also..."
"Are you sure that we can win the duel? Surely they already know that Himeji is in our class?"
After Class F won against Class D, everyone would definitely focus on the winner. Himeji was not our secret weapon now; therefore, they must have prepared tactics to fight against Himeji.
"I am well aware of this and am well-prepared; don't worry."
Yuuji looked confident, which was totally different from me who was really worrying now.
"Anyway, we'll need to fight against Class B first. I will fill everyone in on the details later."
"Is it? Well, it's fine by me as long as you have tactics for it."
If there was no chance of winning, he wouldn't be able to say something like that.
"By the way, Akihisa."
"After the tests today, go declare war on Class B."
"No way. You can go do it yourself."
No matter what you say, I won't change my mind.
"Well, then, let's decide on who will do the job using Rock-Paper-Scissors."
Well, at least this is better than him forcing me to go.
"OK. I accept the challenge."
"Good. Then, whoever loses will go, okay?"
Yuuji nodded and said,
"It'll be boring if we just play normally; let's include a psychological battle as well."
This was Yuuji's suggestion.
About the psychological battle, it's that, right? Everyone says what they'll use, and then guesses whether the opponent will do as they said or lie. I see, this is interesting.
"I understand now. I'm going to use rock."
Yuuji made a pose for Rock-Paper-Scissors, and told me,
"Are you? Then I am..."
Yuuji, what will you think? Am I going to be honest and use rock, or am I going to use something else? This is a battle of wits as well.
"Going to kill you if you don't use rock."
Wait...! What kind of psychological battle is that!?
"Ready? Rock, paper, scissors!"
Paper (Yuuji) vs. Rock (Me)
"Then it's decided; you will go."
"I will not go!"
I will not accept this! This was so different from the psychological battle I imagined!
"Are you still worrying about being beaten up badly like with Class D last time?"
"That is one of the reasons!"
"If that's the reason, you can rest easy; I can guarantee that it won't happen again."
Yuuji stared into my eyes.
I won't be cheated again! You keep using the same technique in asking me to do the dirty work!
"Because there are a lot of people in Class B who like handsome boys."
"Really? Then there's nothing to worry about!"
Only I can complete this difficult mission. The responsibility is huge!
"However, you're so ugly..."
Yuuji gave a long sigh. Nonsense, that was not true!
"You're so impolite! I am a handsome boy when I look at myself from 365 degrees!"
"There is an extra 5 degrees."
"I think there's only 5 degrees."
"I hate you two."
I only mixed up 365 days in a year and 360 degrees in a circle, so why are you using a magnifying glass to look at my small mistake!? Damn!
"Anyway, I'll leave this to you..."
Yuuji's voice came from behind me as lunchtime ended; the afternoon which was full of tests had just started.
"...I'd like to listen to your explanation."
The tests in the afternoon had ended safely; it was now after school.
I used my hand to cover the sleeve that Class B had pulled to pieces, and walked towards Yuuji slowly.
"This was just as I thought."
"Argh! I'm going to kill you! I'll cut you into pieces!"
A... attacked in the heart... This is terrible.
"I'm heading back home now. Tomorrow morning we will have tests; don't oversleep."
After saying that with a frank tone, Yuuji left the classroom. You're a devil!
"Urgh... my stomach..."
My whole body was in serious pain. It looks like I can't move at all before the effect that Yuuji's technique caused on my body disappears.
I could only lie on the ground and watch every one of my classmates leave the classroom. No one's worried about me or bringing me to the nursing room. Am I so hated? Then again, I think Himeji will worry about me and come to me.
Because I couldn't move my body, I turned my neck and looked around the classroom. I saw Himeji still remaining in the classroom, holding her back and looking around as well. She looked very suspicious; it seems like she was guarding something.
...Ah, now I remember: Himeji wrote a letter yesterday. Maybe she was thinking about where she should put it?
I felt shy about continuing to watch her, so I slowly crawled out of the classroom.
- Akihisa sometimes converses with his inner "angel" and/or "devil"; this is shown in italics.
- In yaoi terms, the uke is the person "taking it", so to speak.
- A loanword from the Japanese language that is equivalent to "hobbyist".