Baka to Tesuto to Syokanju:Volume9.5
- 1 Novel Illustrations
- 2 Fumitzuki News (Entertainment)
- 3 Me and Kids and Summoned Beasts
- 4 Fumitzuki News (Adverts)
- 5 Me and Himeji-san and A Certain Afternoon Time
- 6 Special Bulletin: Ironfist-sensei's Life Counseling Chatroom
- 7 Me and Tsuchiya's House and an Unshakeable Heart
- 8 Special Bulletin: Ironfist-sensei's Life Counseling Chatroom
- 9 Me and Quarrels and Unbelievable Idiots
- 10 Author Notes
- 11 Notes
These are the novel illustrations that were included in volume 9.5.
Fumitzuki News (Entertainment)
In every single release of Fumitzuki News, Class 2-F would always grab the headlines. This time, it was the news about the beauty girl who everyone feels has outstanding grades, pretty looks and a kind demeanour living together with the wretched scumbag with atrocious grades, horrendous looks and uncouth behavior living together. Both of them went to school together for unknown reasons, and were said to have gone to the supermarket after school to shop. The witness' detailed testimony was as follows: "Those two have the same ingredients in the bentos as well. Something's definitely fishy between the two of them."
As for the truth, dear readers, please patiently wait for further news.
On the other hand, after knowing about this suspicious incident, the F class' students view on the male student suspect are as follows (please refer to the appendix).
As this was an important classmate they were punishing here, the students were severely divided over opinions. The response rate in this investigation showed a shocking 103.7%, showing that society has a very grave concern over this incident. On the other hand, in regards to the girl who was under suspicioun, opinions of severe punishment such as 'severe warning', 'the girl needs to show her remorse' and 'I hope she will tearfully say that she's wrong' are becoming louder and louder. As we can see, the school really values gender equality.
Also, our reporter has interviewed a well-behaved male student representative, a certain student from class 2-A, and his opinion is as follows.
"If this is true, I will lodge a litigation without hesitation."
K-bo-san pushed his glasses and said that to us before stamping away to leave the classroom. To the usually innocent and upright him, it seemed that he could not accept such a scandal happening inside the school. Also, the 'litigation' he is saying is most likely against the court called the 'Inquisition', the largest organization in the school. It seemed that he wished to debate over whether this incident is true in court and deal punishment to the guilty.
The existence of the 'Inquisition' and the actual situation'.
In regards to the 'Inquisition' we described before, our reporter had thoroughly made investigations over the mystery behind it.
The tribulation organization 'Inquisition' was started by class 2-F. As for the number of members, it was stated in reality to be more than 60% of all the second year boys. The rapid increase in numbers can be said to be heavily related to the activities involved. Their actions are divided into two stages. The first is to sniff out the 'heretic', and the next is to deal judgment. The organization will receive the tipoff from their own members or ordinary students and process straight to the judgment phase. As a lot of unnecessary steps are skipped, the organization has achieved an increase in efficiency. Also, a lot of heretics who were judged became single, got jealous of other heretics, and ended up being members of the 'Inquisition'. The members who joined in such a way would then become the main people involved in searching out the other heretics and dealing judgment on them. This organization has continued to increase in size through this manner.
The absolute leader of the organization'.
Behind the overwhelming influence of the organization, there is an absolute leader. That person is the brain behind the organization, called the 'leader'. His searching ability and manner of dealing with heretics were outstanding, and he managed to build his position up till now through 'trust'. The members had the absolute faith in him, that 'no matter what happens, this guy will never leave us alone and obtain his own happiness...no, he can't do so.' This time, our scoop report interviewed this leader and asked him about the view of this organization.
We will continue to fight with diligence, through day and night, all to prevent the happiness of all the students in school and protect their loneliness." Leader S-gawa chimed in regarding the dignity of the organization.
As our reporter expressed questions like 'but some students have some suspicion regarding your organization's investigations', leader S-gawa said, "We've raised our arrests efficiency to 249% through the reports from all forms of media. Please do not worry and let us handle this." As for why such an amazing high arrest rate can happen, to get down to it, it's due to the 'diligence' he said.
Me and Kids and Summoned Beasts
“Actually, there’s something I want to ask of you.”
“““Allow me to refuse.”””
“—You’re really cruel.”
Right now, it’s after school. We’re in the classroom, chatting away when the principal came to us.
“That’s because we got into lots of trouble once because of you, old granny. We still haven’t forgotten about the time you let the summoned beasts say their true thoughts.”
“Yeah. I don’t want to experience that a second time.”
“…I had enough.”
“Even I feel that it’s a little…”
Yuuji, Muttsurini, Hideyoshi agreed with an annoyed tone, and Minami and Himeji‐san could only give wry smiles.
“Well well, don’t say that. We won’t get into trouble because of the summoned beasts in this experiment…whether it’s for you or for me.”
The principal said with a bitter expression. Ahh, speaking of which, the principal took the counterattack of our summoned beasts at the last moment. However, I feel that that was self‐inflicted.
“Principal‐sensei, isn’t this about the summoned beasts?”
We won’t get into trouble because of the summoned beasts—Himeji‐san asked the moment she heard this. Himeji‐san’s so serious and kind, so if it’s just normal cleaning‐up, I guess she would help out.
“No, it has something to do with the summoned beasts.”
“Uu…it has something to do with summoned beasts…?”
The principal’s answer caused Himeji‐san to be scared. I understand her feelings very well.
“Damn old granny. I’ll just ask this then. What do you want us to help out in?”
In other words, it should be something related to the modification of summoned beasts. To us, who’re trying to win the summoning wars, we have to see what kinds of changes were made even if we have to get punked in such cruel means. If possible, I hope to let Yuuji be the lab rat and see what’s going on.
“Oh my. Even though you’re grumbling, you still want to check it out, huh? How insincere of you.”
“We’ll have to see what you want us to do. However, we won’t mind taking up this job, so ‘Yuuji will be in charge’ ‘Akihisa will be in charge.’”
““……………(GAK GAK GAK GAK)””
We kick each other on the calves wordlessly. This damn bastard’s trying to betray me to achieve his aims? Does he have any ethics as a person!?
“Perfect. The setting this time is for two people. I’ll have you two try it out then.”
“Eh? Setting for two?”
“That’s right. I want to use it as one of the candidate events for the summoned beast tournament next year.”
The summoned beasts tournament she’s talking about will be that—the tournament where I paired up with Yuuji to take on the Toko‐Natsu pair. One of the aims was to promote the summoning system, so it seemed that the principal’s planning something different again.
“This time, I want to try having a summoned beast that’s summoned by two people together, so I made some modifications to the system settings. It’ll be of great help to me if the champion of the previous tournament can try it out.
“Two people summoning a summoned beast together…”
“If that’s the case, it seems that what happened the last time around won’t happen.”
“It’ll be interesting to try this out.”
If this system’s really meant to be integrated into the summoning war, those familiar with this system will gain a huge advantage when battling. Our scores are worse than the other classes, so we have to gain this kind of advantage.
“I can assure you that the summoned beasts won’t go out of control. Also, if something happens to the summoned beast, I can immediately remove the summoning field. How about that?”
The principal stared at our eyes as she said that,
“U~n…remove the summoning field immediately…”
If that’s the case, there probably won’t be anything dangerous going on. To me, the skill of controlling the summoned beast is as important as a safety cable…maybe I should try it out?
“What should we do, Yuuji?”
“Well…to be honest, the damn old granny’s words aren’t worth a single cent, but if she lets the other classes handle this, we’ll be in trouble. This is really troublesome.”
I’m fine with that if sacrificing Yuuji will be enough to solve this, but it’s a different case altogether if even I’ll be involved. What should I do…
Just when I’m feeling bothered—
“Don’t think too much. It’s decided then. Yoshii, Sakamoto, come over.”
The principal made her own decision as she moves forward to us in such a way that it feels that we were pushed from behind…never mind, if we ask for it, the principal can immediately remove the summoning field, and I think she just wants to summon new summoned beasts.
“Either Yoshii or Sakamoto can do this. One of you will touch the other person and summon your summoned beasts. I’ve modified the settings such that a new summoned beast will appear.”
“Heh? We just need to do this?”
“It’s great if it’s that easy.”
I reach my hand out at Yuuji’s face. At the same time, Yuuji reaches his hand out at my face.
And then, we grab each other on the face viciously.
Mir miri, I think I heard my skullcap let out such an irritating sound.
“What are you two doing…”
“…Still the same as ever.”
Eh, erm, what do we do next?
“Then, either Yoshii or Sakamoto will do. Just summon the summoned beast normally.”
Yuuji and I summoned at the same time. Immediately, the same old geometrical pattern appears beside us.
“Cough cough. The, then…what next?”
“Cough. Let’s just hope it’s not too weird.”
We release our iron‐claw grip at the same time and watch silently. After a slightly longer lag time than usual, the summoned beast finally appeared gradually.
“Ahh…!! So cute!’
What appeared wasn’t the 3‐headsize summoned beast we were all used to, but a normal boy that’s around 2 years old with ears and tail.
“It really resembles the average of Yuuji and Akihisa.”
“…And shrunk down.”
Now that everyone said so, I do feel that the boy’s expression is as sharp as Yuuji’s, but I’m not sure whether it resembles me.
“Then, how do we control this?”
What’s important is to know how to control this, not appearance—it seemed that Yuuji was emphasizing on this as he asked the principal. It’s true that appearance is secondary to us.
“It’s a summon that’s made with two people, so I removed any hand controls to prevent both of you from interfering each other. The summoned beast will act on its own based on your personalities.”
“Humph, so it will act on its own this time, huh?”
“Eh? Is that it?”
I’m a little nervous the moment I heard that the summoned beast will move on its own. However, I don’t see this summoned beast doing anything weird at all.
“Uyu…? Uu—…(pat pat).”
The summoned beast took small steps as it plays with the short‐legged table.
The summoned beast hides under the short‐legged table happily, perhaps because it likes it.
“Just like a kid.”
Yuuji and I could only mutter as we see the summoned beast like this. Looking at how it is now, I think it’s more of a kid than a summoned beast playing over there.
The moment she heard us, the principal said,
“Oh my, you’re really sharp. You two are supposed to be idiots.”
What does she mean by sharp?
“It’s just like what you said. It’s a kid.”
“No, anyone can see just by looking, right?”
I don’t think anyone would think that it’s an adult when they see it.
“That’s not what I’m saying. It’s a kid—your kid, you two.”
The principal said, and then points at Yuuji and me.
Our kid, that means—
WHAT IS THIS PERSON SAYING!? ISN’T THIS RIDICULOUS!?
“Mu…speaking of which, I’m starting to feel the same way too.”
“…Just like the two of them.”
Hideyoshi and Muttsurini said as they observed the summoned beast. HOLD ON A SEC, GIVE ME A BREAK!!!
“NONONO!!! ISN’T IT WEIRD FOR YUUJI AND ME TO HAVE KIDS!?”
“THAT’S RIGHT! THAT’S DISGUSTING!!”
“I’M THE ONE WHO’S DISGUSTED HERE!!”
Yuuji and I glare at each other.
At this moment, the summoned beast walks over,
“You mustn’t fight! (GAK)”
Yuuji and I got kicked on the calves.
It, it really hurts! It has the appearance of a kid, but the power is abnormal. It’s indeed a summoned beast!
Or rather, even though it is telling us not to fight, it’s using violence, right!? Such an ironic course of action won’t happen if it didn’t inherit Yuuji’s trait completely!
“AKIHISA! HOW ARE YOU EDUCATING THE KID! WHAT’S WITH USING VIOLENCE TO STOP OTHERS FROM FIGHTING!?”
“THAT’S YOUR FAULT, RIGHT YUUJI!? DON’T PUSH THE BLAME ON ME!!”
“NO, THIS IDIOTIC TRAIT TO FIGHT EVERY SINGLE TIME IS DEFINITELY INHERITED FROM YOU!”
“IT’S DEFINITELY YOUR FAULT, YUUJI!!”
“Calm down, stupid brats. It’s the couple’s responsibility to educate the kids.”
““WHO’S THE COUPLE HERE!!!””
“You’re fighting again!”
I, I got kicked again…what sort of personality does this kid have?
“Damn old granny! Hurry up and recall the summoned beast! It’s been bullying and hurting us here!!”
“Man, it can’t be helped.”
The principal shrugged, and then removed the summoning field. The moment she did this, the summoned beast disappeared as well. Fuu…we’re saved.
“Anyway, we helped you out already. That should be enough, I suppose?’
“Yeah. Now we know what sort of weird thing would come out.”
The damage we suffered was just two kicks on the calves. This alone is still within our acceptable tolerance.
Just when we heaved a sigh of relief, the principal gave a meaningful smirk.
“Well, this should be enough for me. However…”
“As a principal, I can’t refuse when my cute students say that they want to help me, you know?”
The principal stared behind us. I turn around, and in front of me, I see Himeji‐san with her eyes glittering and Minami, who’s giving a nonchalant look with her arms folded in front of her, giving off dazzling light from her eyes.
“Am I right, you two?”
“Yes, please allow me to see the kid’s face—no, please let me help, principal‐sensei!”
“I, I’ll help too. As a student, I have to help teachers as much as I can.”
These two are ridiculously enthusiastic for some reason. Aren’t they too curious here…or is it that their maternal instincts have awakened the moment kids were mentioned?
“I’m really happy that you two are willing to help me gather data.”
““Leave it to us!!””
“Alright, I’ll leave it to you then.”
The principal opens the summoning field. The moment she did this, Himeji‐san and Minami reach their hands out to call out the summoned beast.
—But why at me?
I backed away to avoid their hands.
“Wh, why must you move away, Akihisa‐kun?”
“Yeah. Aki, can you please stand still?”
“No, even if you say that…if both of you are working together, shouldn’t you two just summon the summoned beast together, Himeji‐san, Minami?”
Both of them total up to two people, and it seems that this experiment can work between two people.
Most importantly, I want to see how their kid looks like, so there’s no need for me to get involved, right?
But Himeji‐san and Minami strongly opposed my view.
“No, regarding this, well…”
“Erm…just think! If I pair up with Mizuki, our scores will be too great! It’ll be dangerous. It’s better to pair up with you, Aki!”
“Tha, that’s right! Minami‐chan’s absolutely right!”
Both of them insisted with an abnormal amount of determination. What they said make sense, but…
“Don’t worry. The principal said that she will remove the summoned beast the moment there’s danger.”
I said as I continued to pull my distance from those two without showing any signs.
“But didn’t you two get kicked just now, Akihisa‐kun?”
“That’s right, it’s for safety!”
They continued talking as they estimated their distance from me and moved closer to me. What now! What’s with this faceoff!?
“—Oi, Shouko, where did you come out from here!?”
“…I heard the principal say that we can see our kid here.”
“Let me say this first. You haven’t answered my question at all.”
Yuuji and Kirishima‐san weren’t too far away, and they’re in a faceoff just like my situation here. I say, Kirishima‐san, you have far exceeded the level of eavesdropping.
“An opening, Aki!”
I quickly moved sideways to dodge Himeji‐san and Minami’s outstretched arms. I wasn’t careless or giving any openings at all! Also, right now, I still have one last move.
“Hey! Wait up, Aki!”
36th stratagem, if all else fails or something.
“WHO’S GOING TO PLAY AROUND WITH YOU!?”
“…Yuuji, I won’t allow you to get away.”
And Yuuji’s running away just like me.
Humph! We’re already used to running away. Don’t think you can catch up to us!
“Then, are you ready now, Aki?”
“Akihisa‐kun! You can’t run away anymore!”
“Tha, that’s too despicable! Minami, Himeji‐san! You even got the sports clubs to help out!”
In less than 5 minutes, I was cornered in the gym by the two of them. They even got the girls volleyball members who are having their activities to help! Can they be satisfied with having to cheat to win!?
“Didn’t you say ‘Despicable and dirty are things that only losers will complain about’?”
“I’VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A TWISTED LINE!”
“Why is your head only thinking of things beneficial to you…”
Minami shook her head reluctantly. Alright, now!
“I won’t let you get away (grabs)”
“Nice going, Mizuki!”
Himeji‐san hugged my waist at the last moment. She’s a lot more enthusiastic then usual today, isn’t she!?
“Hey Minami, what’s going on?”
“Isn’t that Yoshii‐sempai? What did he do again?”
“Eh? No, ahaha…the principal wanted us to help out, but this idiot escaped…thanks for helping us catch him, everyone.”
I heard the girls’ volleyball members talking to Minami. What Minami said wasn’t a complete lie, but the way she explained it makes me look like some escaping boss here!
But it doesn’t matter now. Anyway, I have to get away from here!
“Let go of me, Himeji‐san!”
“No…we still have to get back to the principal…”
Ngee…I can’t break loose at all!
“Can, can’t you pair up with Minami…I don’t need to get invol…”
“Tha, that’s too much! Akihisa‐kun—”
Himeji‐san grabbed me tightly in front of everyone and said this line—
“—Why, Akihisa‐kun, why won’t you make kids with me!”
I let out this warning to everyone in the gym immediately after Himeji‐san said such things. The volleyball girls stopped once they heard my voice.
“Okay okay okay, everyone, don’t do any unnecessary things. Put the mobile phones in your hands onto the floor, and put your hands behind your back.”
Really, I can’t even show any carelessness. If I didn’t stop them first, what happened just now would have immediately spread throughout the school through mail immediately.
Right now, I just need to clarify what Himeji‐san just said.
I was about to speak up, but Minami said,
“Yeah, Aki. Why do you hate to have kids with me!?”
Gacha gacha gacha.
“WHO TOLD YOU TO MOVE!”
Damn it! I have to explain it to everyone clearly! I can’t continue to restrain everyone’s actions like this!
“Eh, everyone, please listen to me—”
I was already beginning my explanation, but Himeji‐san and Minami continued as if it was a pursuit,
“It’s unfair, Akihisa‐kun! I can’t accept this!”
“Yea, Aki! It’s very weird!”
““YOU HAVE ALREADY MADE KIDS WITH SAKAMOTO(KUN)!!!””
GACHA GACHA GACHA GACHA GACHA GACHA GACHA GACHA GACHA GACHA!!!
“DAMN IT!!! THEY REACHED THE LIMIT!!!”
It’s over…now I definitely can’t get any girlfriends in this school…
“Didn’t I tell you not to run away? Hey, come here!”
“Give up, Akihisa‐kun. Let’s go back to the classroom!”
“WAIT! AT LEAST ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN! LET ME EXPLAIN!~!”
I was dragged out just like this, and the sounds of messages being entered echoed throughout the gym.
“Erm, Kubo‐kun…sorry to ask you to meet me behind the gym.”
“No, I’m fine with that…what about you, Nakabayashi‐san? Are you alright? I think you still have Club activities given how you’re dressed up?”
“Un, it’s alright. Compared to this, it was really too painful to be rejected like that…”
“…Is that so?”
“…Even if I’m rejected, I hope that it would be more formal. So I’m going to say this again—”
“—Why, Akihisa‐kun, why won’t you make kids with me!”
“E, excuse me…Kubo‐kun?”
“No, sorry. It’s nothing”
“Is, is that so…?”
“Yeah, Aki. Why do you hate to have kids with me!?”
“Are you really alright…?”
“Un. No problems at orb.”
“Did you bite your tongue? You just bit on it hard, right?”
“You’re thinking too much.”
““YOU HAVE ALREADY MADE KIDS WITH SAKAMOTO (KUN)!!!””
“Kubo‐kun? Why are you trembling like a fawn that’s just born?”
“Sorry, Nakabayashi‐san. Something urgent just cropped up. Let’s talk about this next time.”
“Eh? Ah, un…”
“I’m really sorry. Bye (Shudders).”
“O, okay. Bye…”
“—I CAN’T STAND THIS SCHOOL!”
“Principal‐sensei, let’s start from me first.”
“Akihisa‐kun, you can’t run away, you know?”
After those unnecessary rumors were raised in the gym, Himeji‐san and Minami grabbed me and dragged me back to the classroom. Beside me, Yuuji was tied up by Kirishima‐san like usual…so that guy didn’t manage to escape as well?
“The preparations for summoning are complete. You can summon the summoned beasts whenever you want.”
“Thank you. Then…”
Minami faced me and reached her hand out, and I silently watch this.
“Eh? Mi, Minami‐chan!?”
The moment Minami called out the summoned beast, I quickly dodged her hand and let her touch Himeji‐san, who was standing behind me.
“Now Himeji‐san and Minami’s kid will appear.”
“Yeah. What kind of kid will appear?”
We ignored the panicking Himeji‐san and Minami as we just watched the summoned beast appear in a carefree manner.
At this moment—
“Onee‐sama? Are you still here? Then be with Miharu and—”
Garak. The door opened, and Shimizu‐san walked into the classroom.
And Himeji‐san and Minami’s summoned beast appeared at pretty much the same time. Eh, looking at the hair length, it’s most likely a girl—
Shimizu‐san kidnapped the summoned beast that appeared in a lightspeed manner.
Shimizu‐san’s movements were really too fast, and we were all stunned. Erm…what just happened…?
“What? Whe, where did Miharu’s cute little angel go to? Come out! Miharu will take care of you carefully, very carefully~”
A desperate voice could be heard from afar. It seemed that Shimizu‐san moved out of the summoning field at that moment. I have to say that her leg power’s really amazing.
“Then, who’s going to summon next?”
The principal said after calming herself down. Shimizu‐san’s weird actions were pretty normal. If she gets serious, we can only admit defeat.
So, the next challenger is,
“…Yuuji and me.”
“GUAAAAHHHHH!!! LET GO OF MEE!!!!!”
It’s the Yuuji and Kirishima‐san pair everyone knows of.
Yuuji tried to run away, but Kirishima‐san used her hand to pinch his face as she began the summoning.
“Ahh…such a cute girl.”
“Yeah. And it looks like it’s smart and sporty. Looks like it excels in sports and studies.”
A girl appeared. That’s surprising; I thought it would be a boy….
“Well, it’s Yuuji and Kirishima‐san’s kid, so it should be good in studying and sports, right?”
“…Looks like it will grow very tall.”
“Keh, who knows?”
Its appearance resembles Kirishima‐san more, but the cute eyes are different from hers. Don’t tell me…
“…The eyes are the same as Yuuji when he was young.”
“EEHHHHH!? Yuuji was that cute when he was young?”
Kirishima‐san took out a photo from her pocket. On the photo was—
“…Yuuji when he was young.”
Everyone poked their heads out to look at the photo, and we were all shocked. The eyes of the kid in the photo were really pretty, unlike the corrupted expression Yuuji has now.
“Shouko‐chan, you really have a lot to look forward to in the future.”
“Sounds good~ how about you name it?”
“…I combined my name with Yuuji’s.”
“No, Kirishima, I think you should think through the name…”
“…People will think of seasonings here.”
“““THAT’S ANOTHER SEASONING HERE!”””
Kirishima‐san’s sensitivity is really unique.
“Damn it…now everyone’s making a fuss because of such a thing…”
“Papa, papa. Let’s play—”
“Let’s play~ Hey—hey~”
“Papa, let’s play…”
“…Just a little.”
“Orah! How about this?”
“Kyaa. So high♪”
“…Really? Then, this time.”
“Kya kya♪. Amazing! Papa’s amazing!”
“…Still okay. Then, how about this?”
“Waa♪ My head’s dizzy—♪”
“Hahaha, really? Then, this time,”
We were still discussing the name with Kirishima‐san. Before we knew it, we found that Yuuji was playing the high‐high game.
Yuuji detected our stares, and maintained his position.
“Yuuji, you look like you’re rather happy (smiles).”
“I feel the same too (smiles).”
“…How insincere (smiles).”
“NO, THAT’S NOT IT! THIS IS…”
“What’s wrong, papa? I still want to play—“
“…Yuuji will become a good father.”
“Yeah~ he’s the kind that feels like a stern one when he talks, but can’t help but play with kids.”
“Sakamoto‐kun’s really cute♪.”
“UGAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! DON’T STARE AT ME WITH SUCH AN EXPRESSION!!”
I already knew of this a long time ago, but it looks like Yuuji really likes kids. He will very likely become a father who loves his kids a lot.
“I’ll take back the kid then.”
The principal removed the summoning field and activated it again. Shouyu‐chan disappeared, leaving behind a blushing Yuuji who’s all red now.
“I actually did…such a humiliating thing…”
No no, I feel that that was a heartwarming scene, right? Even I can’t help but smile when I saw that scene.
“Then, it’s my tur—”
Suddenly, DOGAN! The door opened, sounding it like might break.
Ironman, also known as Nishimura‐sensei, entered the classroom. He has a rather fierce attitude, and I have no idea what’s going on.
“I have something to ask you regarding the rumors scattered all over the school.”
“STOP PLAYING DUMB! IT’S ABOUT THE ILLICIT RELATIONSHIP YOU’VE BEEN SHOUTING IN THE GYM!”
“Illicit relationship as in—GEK!!”
Were the rumors about what happened just now? They already reached the staff room? Anyway, I have to explain it first and say that it’s a misunderstanding!
“It’s not like this, Ironman‐sensei! Listen to me—”
“Nishimura‐sensei, can you please not disturb us? I must definitely see Aki and my kid!”
“That’s right, Nishimura‐sensei. I want to see my kid with Akihisa‐kun next!”
“…What are you trying to say, Yoshii?”
“No…I think it’s really hard to salvage when the current situation’s like this…”
I’m already someone who isn’t good at explaining things, and my chances of convincing Ironman are almost zero when I don’t have any credibility.
“Ara? Principal, Nishimura‐sensei, why are you in F class?”
Just when I was troubled, level head Takahasi‐sensei and,
“Eh? Yoshii‐kun, what interesting things are you guys doing again? I want to join in too~”
Kudou‐san came along with Takahashi‐sensei for some reason. Both of them walked over. Uum…
“Speaking of which, I heard that you did something weird again, Yoshii‐kun~? Mostly with Sakamoto-kun.”
Nihihi, Kudou‐san seemed like she was very interested as she giggled. Then…what should I do?
“Alright. Don’t take my word for it. Takahashi‐sensei, can I bother you with something?”
“What is it?”
“I want to move the stores at the back, but the scores of my summoned beast are a little weak. Sorry, can I ask you to help out?”
“Understood. Then, sum—”
I seized the opportunity when Takahashi‐sensei summoned to let her hand touch Ironman’s hand. And then, several seconds later—
“Th, this is Ironman and Miss Takahashi …”
“I feel that it’s more like a fighter youth.”
A kid appeared in the magic array.
It has a rather delicate body, but it looks like it has a lot of strength, and the face looks like Ironman’s compressed version. It gives a vibe that’s more like a ‘martial artist’ than a kid. How is it possible to create such a kid…?
As we trembled, Ironman asked with an icy cold stare,
“…Yoshii, what’s going on?”
“Please explain, damn old granny principal.”
“This is a simulated summoned beast created from the possible kid between you two..”
“…Principal, you’re doing such things again…”
Ironman didn’t look too surprised as he merely placed his hand on the forehead wordlessly.
“Doesn’t look like Takahashi‐sensei at all.”
“Yeah. It looks completely like Nishimura‐sensei.”
“No, Himeji, Shimada, look closely. It also inherited Miss Takahashi trait.”
“The glasses in its hand.”
As expected of Ironman, even the DNA’s so powerful.
“Really…principal, we’ll be bothered by your jokes. Please be more aware of yourself as the head of an Educational organization.”
“I’m not creating this for the sake of jokes. Don’t see it that way. That’s an amazing research too.”
“I really don’t feel that way…”
It seemed that the principal made Ironman suffer quite a lot before.
“It’s the same with the summoned beasts that would say their true thoughts. Really principal—”
“Really. It’s because you’re so obstinate that I’m troubled, Nishimura‐sensei.”
Everyone continued to watch the two teachers argue with each other, and at this moment,
“Hello, I’m mama~”
A questionable line entered my ears, causing me to doubt my hearing.
Everyone present turned over there.
“What’s the matter?”
However, at the corner where the voice came from was Takahashi‐sensei, who was standing normally with the documents tucked under her armpit.
“? What is it?”
Takahashi‐sensei doesn’t look weird at all, and she had a rather normal attitude. Was that voice just my hallucination?
“…Well, never mind. Anyway, Ironman, you should understand now, right? The kid refers to the summoned beast here. I’m not having any illicit relationships.”
“Is that so…no, sorry Yoshii. Looks like the rumor was just my misunderstanding. Also, call me Nishimura‐sensei.”
“It’s great that you can understand this, Full Metal Nishimura‐sensei.”
“Don’t add anything unnecessary.”
“Leaving that aside, Aki! You should more or less—”
“That’s right, Akihisa‐kun! Why were you—”
“Come over~ let me hug you~”
“Takahashi‐sensei, I think I just heard something strange…”
“No, I never heard anything, Nishimura‐sensei.”
“Is, is that so…”
The moment Takahashi‐sensei said so, Ironman gave a look of utter disbelief, but didn’t question any further.
And then, just when everyone’s looking away from Takahashi‐sensei—
“What’s wrong? Papa’s really weird~”
“““THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT A HALLUCINATION—!!!”””
We definitely heard it this time. So everything we heard was from Takahashi‐sensei!!? Is Takahashi-sensei someone who will speak in such a tone?
“How unexpected…so Takahashi‐sensei’s bothered about not having kids?”
“I’m shocked too. I had the impression that Takahashi‐sensei’s more like a busy careerwoman.”
“? Did I do something weird?”
“So she didn’t notice it herself…”
I already had this feeling, but Takahashi‐sensei does feel like my foolish sister.
“Principal‐sensei, you can remove the summoned beast already, right?”
“What are you saying, Nishimura‐sensei? This is part of research as well. Don’t say such stubborn things.”
“Yeah, Nishimura‐sensei, you don’t have to be so annoyed.”
“Himeji…do you find this interesting?”
“Sensei, this is part of an important activity in school. We have to help out.”
“Shimada, you’re smirking there.”
“Haha. You aren’t cute even when you’re shy, Ironman.”
“Close your eyes and grit your teeth.”
“WHY MUST I BE THE ONLY ONE TO GET HIT!!”
ISN’T THERE TOO GREAT A DIFFERENCE!?
“Seriously…I can’t be bothered with you guys.”
“Ah, papa—no, Nishimura‐sensei, please hold on.”
“Takahashi‐sensei,..that greet will bring about misunderstandings. Please don’t call me that in the future.”
“Pardon me, papa‐sensei.”
“No, I’m not talking about adding honorifics.”
Ironman and Takahashi‐sensei continued talking as they left the classroom. Compared to the look of the kid, those two’s conversation shocked me more…
“Well, never mind. Now the stupid rumors between Akihisa and me are finally dispelled.”
“Yeah. That’s great.”
Now I can finally relax—
“Nfufu~ so everyone actually playing such an interesting thing and hiding it from me.”
—No, of course it can’t possibly end like this.
“Kudou‐san, we’ll like to negotiate with you, so please agree with us.”
“You can deal with this guy however you want, but please let us go.”
“……!? …Traitors…!! (Struggles hard)”
“Nn~ what should I do~”
We held down Muttsurini, who attempted to run away, and brought him over to Kudou‐san.
Basically, Kudou‐san’s in charge of Muttsurini. As the saying goes, an eye for an eye, a pervert for a pervert. That’s a very logical decision.
“Kudou, if this isn’t enough, we’ll add in Hideyoshi too.”
“Why must I be sacrificed too!?”
“Since you said so, it can’t be helped then—summon!”
Kudou‐san called out loudly, and a summoned beast that’s the simulated kid of those two appeared.
This boy’s hairstyle and looks are basically inherited from Kudou‐san, and the eyes are like Muttsurini.
Fm fm. If it’s these two, what kind of kid will appear?
“Well, it looks rather normal.”
“Yeah, but the problem is—”
“The personality, right?”
What kind of personality will Kudou‐san and Muttsurini’s kid have? Thinking about it alone terrifies and horrifies me.
“Based on my prediction, the computer won’t be able to handle these two’s ero‐tism, so after a long round, it will become a serious kid.”
“Ahaha, how can such a thing be possible?”
“Um, no matter what happens, that’s impossible.”
“Yeah. I’m just saying.”
Just when we’re chuckling and chatting away, the summoned beast spoke.
“…The master said. Without recognizing the ordinances of Heaven, it is impossible to be a superior man.”
It sounded so determined, unlike a kid at all. What the heck?
“…Without an acquaintance with the rules of Propriety, it is impossible for the character to be established.”
“…Most likely, the Analects.”
“Analects? I remember that’s…”
“One of the four books of Confucianism, a Chinese philosophical book that became Chinese teaching materials, but…”
“““IT REALLY BECAME SERIOUS AFTER ONE WHOLE ROUND!!!”””
IT’S BASICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR SUCH A SMALL KID TO MEMORIZE CHINESE WORDS!!!
“…HOW EROTIC CAN YOU GET!!!”
“…I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Ahaha! I’m shy now.”
I thought that it was a joke, but such a serious kid actually appeared. This fact really surprised me, so much that I’m completely speechless.
And just when we’re talking away, the summoned beast muttered something again.
“…Without knowing the force of words, it’s impossible to know men.”
“Oh yeah, what do these mean?”
“Eh, it’s a passage detailing how important life and etiquette is.”
“…‘People have to do what they have to do, search their hearts and finish their lives’.”
Himeji‐san and Kirishima‐san explained.
I see. In other words, this means that we have to find whatever we have to do before we die and finish it?
That’s quite a good saying, but I didn’t expect such a small kid to be taught such a thing…
“In other words, my destiny is to carry out the ultimate sexual acts (Batabatabata)”
“““EVEN AFTER GOING ONE HUGE ROUND, IT STILL INDULGES IN EROTISM!!!”””
“…It’s not like me at all.”
It’s been like this all the time, but Muttsurini’s denials really surprise me all the more.
“Then, whose kids are we seeing next?”
Once the settings were reset, Kudou‐san looked around at us and said. She still wants to continue…
“Of course it’ll be me and—”
“I heard about everything already!”
“Eh? Wai, what? Why is it Miharu!?”
“(Hugs tight) Summon!”
“I love mama the most!”
What appeared was a girl with a spiral‐shaped ponytail.
“Eh? Erm, thanks…I suppose?”
As the summoned beast suddenly hugged her, Minami showed a slightly bothered look.
“I really really really love mama the most!”
“A, ahaha…I feel somewhat embarrassed when you say it like that.”
“I really like mama the most…as a woman.”
“NOOOOOOOOO!!! THIS GIRL’S TOO SCARY~!”
“No matter how cute you are as a daughter, I won’t hand onee‐sama over to you!”
“Fufun! You’re already an old maid, okaa‐san!”
“I’M NOT OLD! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG!”
“OKAA‐SAN’S DEFINITELY A LOLICON!”
“NO, ONEE‐SAMA DEFINITELY LOVE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS THE MOST!”
They haven’t realized that there’s still a tall wall of gender before they can even talk about love.
“I CAN’T STAND SUCH A FAMILY ANYMORE!”
“Ah! Wait, onee‐sama~”
“Really, you guys are always so noisy…”
“That won’t do, Kinoshita‐kun. How can you look like you’re not involved in this at all?”
“Nm? But Kudou, I really have nothing to do with this ruckus at all.”
“Don’t worry, don’t worry. I already prepared things such that you’ll enjoy yourself, Kinoshita‐kun, okay?”
“Nonono, I’ll pass. There’s nothing about me that would cause a ruckus—”
“(GARAK) What’s the matter, Aiko? Is there something you want from me—eh, what’s with you, Hideyoshi? Why are you shaking your head in a teary fashion the moment you saw me?”
“Kudou…I beg of you. Not ane‐ue. Absolutely not ane‐ue…”
“Nfufu~ hey, Yuuko. The principal hopes that you’ll call out your summoned beast (touch).”
“? I don’t know why you must let Hideyoshi’s hand touch me, but I’m fine if it’s just this. Summon!”
A summoned beast that completely resembled them hugs Hideyoshi’s leg tightly.
“…Hideyoshi, what’s going on?”
“Eh, ane‐ue. This is…well…”
“This is a summoned beast that’s a simulation of your kid. Nicely done, isn’t it?”
“…Heh…My, and Hideyoshi’s kid…”
The summoned beast plays around with Hideyoshi for a while, and this time, it rushes over to Kinoshita-san.
And then, it calls out in an awkward manner—
Why is it asking a question when it called Kinoshita‐san okaa‐san?
“Hideyoshi, I’ll have to discuss with you about educating kids.”
“THA, THAT’S WAY TOO UNFAIR! I DEFINITELY DIDN’T DO ANYTHING AT ALL!”
“Well~ there are really all sorts of kids.”
“That’s right, Akihisa‐kun.”
“Time sure flew by fast. It’s about time to go home.”
“Yes, let’s go home—now! Summo—“
“Himeji‐san, you’re too naïve.”
“…Mizuki, you want to see our kid?”
“WAAAHH…this is a misunderstanding!”
“Hello everyone. The weather’s fine today!”
A cute girl summoned beast appeared in front of us, beaming a smile and greeting us enthusiastically.
This girl looks rather normal, probably because we just saw too many kinds of summoned beast. Well, to put it, it’s kind of refreshing…
“Onii‐sans, I’ll be happy if you’re willing to play with me!”
It showed a beaming smile that would make anyone happy. Seeing such an expression in front of us, I really feel like granting every request it makes.
“Un. Okay, let’s play.”
“Really? That’s great!”
“What should we play?”
“I like to play a kids’ game where I tie the other person up and force‐feed him!”
“Sorry, onii‐chans here are bad at playing childish games.”
Himeji‐san and Kirishima‐san are both girls, so it’s great that they’ll definitely not give birth to kids together.
“Akhisa‐kun, you’ve been too much ever since just now. Why won’t you listen to me?”
“Even if you ask me the reason…anyway, I have all sorts of situations here…”
“What do you mean by that? You already saw your kid with Sakamoto‐kun!”
“No, it’s not that I was willing either.”
“Are you saying that if it’s not me, Tsuchiya‐kun or Kinoshita‐kun will be alright?”
“Muttsurini or Hideyoshi? Un…”
The moment she said this, I started pondering. About this…
“Leaving aside Muttsurini, if it’s with Hideyoshi, it’s a little…”
“Ah, Hideyoshi, you came back.”
At this moment, Hideyoshi, who was taken away by his sister, returns back,
“??? Hideyoshi, what’s wrong?”
“No no, nothing happened (quickly moving through).”
“Really? But you don’t look too—”
As I panicked, the summoned beast appeared. What kind of summoned beast will appear this time?
“A very normal and cute one.”
“…As much as what I expected.”
Yuuji and Muttsurini watch the summoned beast appear as they concluded.
Just like what they said, it looks just like Hideyoshi, extremely cute at that, and there’s nothing else more unique. Maybe this might be the most normal of all the kids without any traits amongst all the summoned beasts that were created—
“Uu…I always wanted to wear some male clothing once in a while…”
“THE FIRST LINE JUST SHOWED ITS TRAIT!”
It has a somewhat carefree looking face to go with its light hair, and looks kinda stupid. I think it came from Hideyoshi’s own aloofness.
“This stupid face is completely inherited from Akihisa.”
“…Exactly the same.”
I don’t agree.
At this moment, the voice of the emissary from hell rang in my ears.
“Mi, Minami? Didn’t you leave with Shimizu—san?”
“I went over to her house, left everything to the ojii‐san there and ran off.”
Chii! If that berserker’s the opponent, even Shimizu‐san will be at a disadvantage…
“Akihisa‐kun, you can’t run away!”
“Kuu! Someone help me—”
“…Yuuji, got you.”
“Guag! Sho, Shouko!? What do you want? We just summoned it before. That should be enough!”
“THAT’S TOO MANY TIMES ALREADY!! EVEN IF YOU SUMMON SO MANY TIMES, ONLY ONE WILL APPEAR!”
“…I still want another 38.”
“YOU REALLY WANTED 39 KIDS!?”
“…I’m always serious.”
“Dangerous…this person’s too dangerous!”
“Oh yeah, Muttsurini‐kun. Since we’re going to have kids, we must go through a step before that, right? In other words, the computer also predicted that between me and you, Muttsurini.”
“…So what (BATABATABATA)”
“You really look like Akihisa. You’re really suited for female clothing.”
“A lot of people say that I look like okaa‐san you know?”
“Wait, Akihisa’s the mother, right? I’m the father.”
“Don’t talk about that, okaa‐san. I don’t want to wear skirts anymore.”
“THAT’S NOT TRUE! IT’S A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR ME!”
Not good. Everyone around me is preoccupied. I don’t see anyone helping me here.
“Give up, Akihisa‐kun.”
“Nobody will help you, Aki.”
My time’s finally up…the moment I thought about that—
“Well, that should be enough.”
After saying that, the principal removed the summoning field. Am, am i…saved?
“Prin, principal? Please! Just a little longer!”
“I’m really grateful that you two want to help me out, but I have already collected enough data.”
“But what? Is there any personal reasons why you want to call out the summoned beasts?”
““Ah. No, well…””
“If no, this will be the end of the experiment, and it’s very late now.”
The principal actually saved me. Absolutely unbelievable. Thank you very much, principal! I won’t call you damned old granny from now on!
Perhaps everyone calmed down as the summoned beasts were removed. As we were talking, everyone gathered over. That’s great…now the commotion has finally settled…
I sighed long and hard. At this moment, Hideyoshi suddenly asked,
“Speaking of which, Yuuji, Akihisa, why are you two so against summoning the kid summons?”
Hideyoshi asked, and Minami and Himeji‐san ask us,
“That’s right, Aki…you don’t have to hate it so much, right?”
“I feel really hurt too…”
“…Yuuji’s too much. I feel a little hurt.”
Yuuji and I can only respond to these questions with silence.
At this moment, the principal, who had been listening to us, interrupts for some reason,
“Damned brats, let me tell you something good.”
“Un, kids aren’t just a collection of genes. They will also grow depending on the environment and education, so—”
As she spoke till here, the principal gives a meaningful smirk,
“—This experiment can’t give you answers about the future, so you don’t have feel depressed over not knowing the results. Just relax.”
SHE ACTUALLY SAID…SUCH A THING!
THI THI THI THIS DAMNED OLD GRANNY!! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS SHE SAYING!?
“What are you two panicking about? I’m just describing the theory behind the shaping of a normal child’s character.”
Kihihi. The principal let out a disgusting snicker. Panicking? Who, who’s panicking!?
“DAMN OLD GRANNY! ARE YOU TAKING REVENGE ON US!? IS THIS WHAT AN ADULT SHOULD DO!?”
“YOUR METHODS ARE REALLY UNDERHANDED!! YOU’RE THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN THE SCHOOL HERE!!!”
“Well, I have no idiot what you two are saying at all.”
““DAMNED OLD GRANNY—!!””
“Since I got all the data, I should take my leave. Don’t play around until it’s so late. Hurry up and go home.”
After saying that, the principal left the scene. Damn it! That granny’s especially fast only when slipping away!
“E, erm, Akihisa‐kun…well, erm…”
“Re, really, Aki, what sorts of weird things are you thinking? This kind of thing’s like divination. There’s no need to be so bothered about this…”
“…You’re too shy, Yuuji.”
““THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDIINNNNGGGG!!!””
DAMN THAT OLD GRANNY! WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH SUCH A WEIRD ATMOSPHERE!?
“Wait a sec, Akihisa.”
“Wha, what is it, Hideyoshi?”
“Did you actually feel that it’s possible to have kids with me?”
“No, that’s because, well!”
“Why are you stuttering!? It’s impossible to have any!”
Anyway, based on what the principal said, it might be better to go back soon.
“Eh? Aki? Are you going back through here?”
“Un. Eggs are sold at a special price today at the supermarket today.”
“Oh yeah. Are you going to buy things too, Minami?”
“Nope, I just bought them yesterday.”
Minami and I chattered away as I walk down a different route home today.
“But I really suffered a lot today…”
“I found it interesting.”
“I feel that it’s not a good thing to know what the kid will look like beforehand…”
“Really? I’m…a little bothered.”
“Is this something you will be bothered over?”
Is this the difference in the thinking between boys and girls, or is it that my thoughts are a little weird?
“If…I say, just if?”
“If our summoned beast appeared, what kind of kid do you think will appear?”
“Eh? Minami and my summoned beast? Well…”
I think it should be a very energetic boy, right? Or maybe, an unexpectedly quiet girl?
Just when my imagination continues to run wild,
“Onee‐chan, baka onii‐chan! What a coincidence (thud)!”
The voice suddenly entered my ears, and a strong impact ran through my flank. Th, this feeling is—
“Long time no see, Hazuki‐chan…”
“Long time no see, baka onii‐chan!”
Hazuki‐chan’s smiled innocently as she greeted me. The impact that leapt at me immediately disappeared the moment I saw this face, and it’s really troubling.
Just when I’m thinking about this, another thought appeared in my mind. Ahh, is that so? It’ll definitely be…
“Most likely, it’ll be like Hazuki‐chan.”
“I’m talking about Minami and my summoned beast.”
“Fue? What are you two talking about?”
“No, nothing. It has nothing to do with you, Hazuki‐chan.”
“Ehh~ it’s sneaky to say secrets like that!”
“Rather than that, I’ll say it’s hard to explain.”
“Even so, I want to know!”
“Unn…I feel that it’s not fun at all…right, Minami?”
“Eh? Ah, un…”
“I wanna hear! I wanna hear!”
“Ahaha, since you say so, I’ll explain it then. At school today—”
“…We, well, Aki”
“If there’s a chance next time, how about the three of us, including Hazuki go out together? That…it’ll be fun from time to time, right?”
Us going out with Hazuki‐chan? We never had that before. It might really be interesting.
“Un. I’m fine with that.”
“Really? Hazuki‐chan’s really happy!”
“Where do you want to go, Hazuki?”
“Anywhere will do, no matter where we go, Hazuki will be happy as long as onee‐chan and baka oniichan are together.”
“Ahaha. That’s quite the sweet mouth you have.”
“Fufuu, I’m looking forward to it too. It won’t be boring with Aki around.”
“Now that you two say so, I’m feeling a strange pressure for some reason…”
“Baka onii‐chan, fight on!”
“Yeah, Aki, do your best!”
“Uu…I, I get it.”
“I’m really looking forward to it—papa.”
“Eh? Minami, what did you just say?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
Fumitzuki News (Adverts)
Using a brand new method to deal with the inevitable low birth rates!
~Cultivating the interest in children within students~
In recent years, low birth rates are a common occurrence. In response to this, she may have another way of looking at things through the eyes of an educator, and tried to find a way to solve this problem. This solution was ‘to breed the interest of children in the students through summoned beasts’. The one who thought of this low-birth rates counter was Principal Toudou Kaoru of Fumitzuki Gakuen. In this experiment, once two summoners’ information like personalities and appearances are processed, the system can predict what sort of child will be born. By interacting with the summoned beast, they would know how cute the child was and also understand the delight in building a family. The principal said that this was the objective of the current plan. Such a method would be like a simple fortune telling game, where people will see the children as easily as in games. Such a topic would definitely bring about interest in those hoping to have relationships.
Our experts’ view on this matter.
In regards to this brand new method the principal raised to deal with the issue of low birth rates and other related aspects, we had invited an expert with a paranormal understanding this this matter.
“Instead of the results, we should be focusing more on the process.”
Instead of cultivating the students’ interest in children, we should be focusing on the process to this outcome and learn the details specifically. Tsuchiya-san said passionately. As our reporter inquired about what kind of things we should be learning about, he silently tilted his head back to hold his nose. It seemed that he was enduring the hot-blooded ideals that were rushing out from his body.
Also, our reporter had interviewed the other students who took part in this experiment, only to get negative feedback like “I got messed around hard. I had enough of this.” and “I don’t want to experience such a thing. That damned old granny’s definitely up to no good no matter what she does.” It seemed that just like how there are two opposing sides on the view of fortune telling, there are two opposing sides in regards to predicting the appearances of the children. Also, the aforementioned children-sized summoned beasts are just modifications of the summoners’ characteristics, and the children’s growth environments and social relationships are not considered. As for this, due to the fact that technology isn’t at that level yet, it wouldn’t be easy to count in other factors. Also, there are still other questions regarding this like how the children that were born can only be set to be around age 2, and how boys can have babies with each other. The experiment is interesting, but there’s still room for improvement in this test.
Class 2-F’s grades are improving.
According to rumors, class 2-F, hailed the number 1 worst class in the school, has been improving their grades recently. The general consensus is that part of the reason is due to the continual summoning wars helping F class to improve their grades. Class rep Sakamoto Yuuji-shi and Yoshii Akihisa-shi, who still has room for huge improvements, and even Tsuchiya Kouta-shi and Sugawa Ryo-shi’s grades have improved by a little. This may be considered an effect of Fumitzuki Gakuen’s management.
Home Economics Classroom exploded. Luckily, no one was hurt.
The Home Economics Room, which was opened for students to prepare their refreshments for club activities, exploded for unknown reasons. According to Himeji Mizuki-san, who was inside the classroom, “It suddenly exploded once I added Nitric acid, Sulfuric Acid and Glycerine last when I was making cookies.” The totally unexpected outcome seemed to cause her to panic. On the other hand, in regards to the news that the Home Economics Classroom has to be closed, she indicated, “I love cooking the most, so this is really a pity.” Looks like she, who works really hard in studying, is seriously trying to learn how to be a bride.
Girls Swimming Club--Having Special Training for the Meet.
In preparations for the Autumn Tournament Meet, the Girls Swimming Team has started on special training. There are a lot of members taking part, and it seems that this special training will become a competition of ‘The Strongest will survive and the Unfit will be eliminated’ in order to achieve their qualification for the next IH tournament. There are often many challenges seen in this extremely popular sports club, and the individual events seem to have such an occurrence as well. Let’s hope everyone can do their best to achieve a satisfying outcome.
Sugawa Ryo, Special Edition.
The big reveal to the man who continues to break records.
Comes with DVD, 390 yen.
Fight against pressure in current society.
Works extremely well against stomachaches and vomiting!
~All-powerful gastrointestinal drug~
Please purchase from the Chemistry Department.
Proven to be unauthorized by the Government.
Nearby School walk-along and eat-along MAP.
From the school to the station,
The ultimate perfect edition map to all the alleys!
The piping hot ramen in the shopping street alley is the latest craze!
First Issue, 150 yen.
Me and Himeji-san and A Certain Afternoon Time
Himeji-san’s parents can’t return back from overseas, so she has to stay at my house for the time being. The next day, after finishing the cleaning and the laundry, we started making breakfast.
“Akihisa-kun, what are you making?”
“I’m thinking of making some simple fried rice. Is there anything you dislike, Himeji-san?”
“None. Don’t look at me this way, you know? I’m not picky.”
“Really? That’s great.”
“I’ll take the vegetables out from the fridge then.”
“I’ll wash the vegetables then.”
“I’ll make salad as well then.”
“No, I’ll do that.”
Now, what should I put inside the fried rice?
“Akihisa-kun, is the plate big enough?”
“Un, I guess that’s alright.”
“I’ll shred the vegetables, okay?”
“I’ll make soup in the meantime too.”
“No, I’ll do that.”
Eh, the ingredients are onions, eggs and green pepper…
“Akihisa-kun, can I use this frying pan?”
“Un, that’s the one I use the most.”
“Can I use this low-calories oil?”
“Okay. That’s good for the body too.”
“I’ll make dessert then.”
“No, I’ll do that.”
“Why won’t you allow me to do anything!”
“Even if it’s you, I can’t allow that, Himeji-san!”
An intense battle is happening at the preparatory stage as we get ready for the lunch anniversary of Himeji-san staying at my house.
“Hot blooded, Ping-Pong!”
The shrill title sound effect rang, and the television screen showed the option menu.
“Akihisa-kun, if I win this time, you must let me make lunch!”
“Un, I’m fine with that if you don’t mind, Himeji-san…”
Himeji-san and I stood in front of the television, each holding onto the remote control in our hands.
We’re playing a motion game, which means that we have to actually move our bodies to play. The game is table tennis, and to be honest, I don’t think I will lose.
“Fufufu…Akihisa-kun, I will work hard when it’s time for me to do so.”
Himeji-san gave off an inexplicable pressure. Speaking of which, she was the one who said to have a showdown. I guess she’s confident in such a game as well.
I serve the ball. I move the controller to the ball on the screen, and the ball let out a light crisp sound as it flies into Himeji-san’s court.
Himeji-san moved the controller in response to the ball. The ball I served out is hit hard at a tight angle just above the next. Nice shot!
I barely managed to use bring the bat to the ball and hit it across. However, I hit the ball too high accidentally, and now it’s a perfect chance for Himeji-san to smash the ball.
“Actually, I bought this game before.”
Himeji-san forcefully swings the bat,
“Because I heard that it can help in slimming…nee!”
Swoosh! The ball quickly flies into my court. Himeji-san’s smash has power, direction and angle, so it’ll be very difficult to hit it back.
I redirected Himeji-san’s sharp smash back into the other court.
Himeji-san didn’t respond to my counter, perhaps because she was confident that the smash just now could get the point, and just stood there.
The ball on the screen appears on the court ‘ko, ko…’ as it bounces, and I got 1 point.
“A, Akihisa-kun…aren’t you too good at it?”
Himeji-san stared at me in a shocked manner. It’s a little too late for me to say it, but actually…
“Actually, I often play this game against Yuuji.”
“How, how is that…”
Actually, Yuuji and I used smashes to win, but as we were trying our best to win, we started to determine the trajectory of the ball by reading the opposing controllers to hit it back. Therefore, normal smash attacks aren’t much of a threat to us now.
“Nn? What is it, Himeji-san?”
“I know I was the one who requested for a showdown, but…can you please hold back?”
Himeji-san said sheepishly.
“Ahaha. You don’t have to worry, Himeji-san. Since you asked for it, I’ll do so.”
Player 1 (Me), 11 points
Player 2 (Himeji-san), 0 points.
“Erm, Akihisa-kun, didn’t you say that you will hold back?”
Of course I didn’t. Since the right to cook is at stake, I have to take this seriously. Besides, this is a bet on my life.
“Uuu— again, one more time!”
Himeji-san grabbed onto the controller tightly as she said so. Her response is a little shocking to me. Since she has always been so kind, I thought that she wouldn’t fuss too much about this. Maybe she really doesn’t like to lose.
“I must get a point next!”
It looks like she has already forgotten the bet. Speaking of which, it seems like those who get good grades are those who normally won’t give up, whether it’s sports or studying. In other words, Himeji-san and Kirishima-san may look very calm, but they don’t like to lose either.
“Ara…? Aki-kun, Mizuki-san. What are you doing?”
As we pressed the replay button to play the game again, nee-san arrived in the living room. She was working in her bedroom just now, so maybe she came out to take a breather.
“We’re playing games.”
“Game, huh? Looks fun.”
“How about you play too, Akira-san?”
“Well…then, I’ll play if I won’t be disturbing you.”
It’s rare for nee-san to agree to such an invitation. In that case, perfect!
“Then, nee-san, please take over from me. I need to make lunch.”
“Okay, I got it.”
“Akihisa-kun, call me if you need my help.”
I handed over the controller to nee-san and proceeded to the kitchen. As I heat the frying pan and chop the onions, Himeji-san and nee-san can be heard from the living room.
“Akira-san, you can do this to hit the ball hard.”
“I see, so it’s like this.”
“Un? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, that’s not it…you’re amazing, Akira-san. It doesn’t look like you played this for the first time…”
Nee-san hasn’t played any other game before, including this. But in contrast, her sporting sense is really good. Maybe she might even be an even match for Himeji-san who played this game before.
“Just like this?”
“I won’t lose!”
Cheery voices can be heard from the living room while I’m cooking. For some reason…it feels fine. Living alone has its own perks, but such a feeling now is rather nice too. Also, I won’t be motivated to cook if no one is eating.
I continue to prepare lunch while nee-san and Himeji-san’s voices act as BGM. 3 people’s worth of fried rice and consommé soup to go with seafood salad. Un. My food does taste good even if I say do so myself.
“Nee-san, Himeji-san, lunch is ready.”
I took off the apron and called them over. However, both of them are focusing on the screen and didn’t notice me.
Player 1 (Sister), 9 points
Player 2 (Himeji-san), 9 points.
Leaving aside what round it is now, it will be really troubling to interrupt them when they’re tied. The match will end once it reaches 11 points. Better wait for the outcome then.
Himeji-san hit a sharp shot out, and nee-san received it and hit the ball back at an angle. Himeji-san then turned around to hit it. There’s an intense match happening on the screen now.
Both of them got more and more focused as they played, and their actions became more intense. Leaving aside nee-san, Himeji-san’s body isn’t very fit. Is this really alright to be that tired?
Just when I was worrying as I watched the battle, both of them use their hands to hold their chests. Un? This is…
“Okay, stop it now, both of you. Stop stop!”
I walked forward and stretch my arm out to block the screen. No matter how intense they’re playing, they can’t continue if they can’t see the screen, so both of them can only stop their game.
“Is there something wrong, Akihisa-kun?”
“What’s the matter?”
Both of them give blaming looks at me, and I start to explain to them in a warning manner,
“You two are really too into it. if you’re not feeling well, you should rest a bit.”
Both of them looked like they didn’t know what I was saying.
“No, aren’t you two having difficulties in breathing? It’s best to rest for now.”
Both of them tilted their heads in a puzzled manner. Un? Why are they showing such expressions?
“We’re into it, but it’s not to the extent that we’re having difficulties breathing.”
“You really love to worry too much, Aki-kun.”
On hearing their response, I realize that both of them aren’t breathing too hard. Huh?
“But didn’t both of you try to hold onto your chests awkwardly?”
I asked. Himeji-san was stunned for a while, and then frantically shook her head to deny it,
“Ah…no, it’s not like this! Thats, erm…it’s not because I have difficulty breathing, but…how to put it…”
“It will hurt when our breasts keep swinging like that, so we used our hands to hold them in, Aki-kun.”
For an instant, I really couldn’t comprehend what nee-san was saying.
“Th, that, well…sometimes…such things happen…”
Himeji-san looks really embarrassed as she lowers her flushed face. Gaa…there’s such a thing too?
“So, sorry! I didn’t intend for any sexual harassment!”
“Tha, that’s not it. Why…you’re just worried about us, Akihisa-kun. There’s no need to apologize! I should even say that I’m too careless.”
“Really, Aki-kun. You’re so unaware of the woman’s body and so slow in personality. I really worry about you being sued because of such a thing when you come out to society.”
It was really unexpected for nee-san to say such a thing, but I really can’t argue with that.
“You already have so many photo books of big breasted girls. What in the world were you reading all this while?”
Nee-san took out the numerous bibles (Ero-books) that were confiscated during the baseball tournament. What about sexual harassment now! Isn’t that one example already!”
“Listen up, Aki-kun. For girls, it’s not exactly a good thing to have huge breasts. It’s troublesome when playing sports, and the waist will ache when we shake. If we shake too much, the bra strap and hook may even break.”
“Even if you’re saying about what’s bad about having huge breasts, I don’t know what to say about that at all…”
I’m starting to feel that nee-san is already breaking away from the topic of not sexually harassing someone accidentally.
“Well…Akira-san, I think you should stop here…”
Even Himeji-san is starting to feel awkward.
“Also, it will get even worse for Mizuki-san when she gets to F.”
That might be the case. It will be really heartbreaking for Himeji-san to endure her school life with the damned stinky guys from F class.
“A, Akira-san, aren’t you like this too?”
“Nope. I’m only at E.”
“That’s because you didn’t measure properly!”
“I did measure it well when I was studying at university in America.”
“That should have grown as well!”
For some reason, it feels like this conversation is getting more dangerous. Looks like E and F aren’t referring to the classes in school. Looks like it will be trouble if I continue to think too hard into this. I better forget about this.
“An, anyway, you two don’t have to endure your pain and play game! Forget about that and come have lunch!”
“That’s right. It’ll be troublesome if Aki-kun faints from over-excitement. Maybe we should stop here?”
“Okay, I understand—ah!”
Himeji-san was about to put down the controller as she jerked up all of a sudden. Un, what’s with her?
“Is there something wrong, Himeji-san?”
“Eh? It, it’s nothing, nothing at all!”
“It, erm…well, I need to buy something later…”
“To put…I have to buy something all of a sudden…”
Himeji-san was rather calm up till up, so the situation is really sudden. Did she think of something when she was playing?
Well, let’s leave that aside for now.
“In that case, I need to buy something in the afternoon too. I need to prepare ingredients for dinner too.”
“Eh? You’re going too, Akihisa-kun?”
“Un. Can I come along with you too, Himeji-san?”
Actually, there’s something I want to buy. If I go and buy it myself, nee-san may find out, but if I go along with Himeji-san, the chances of it being seen through will decrease by a lot. Also, I’ll be in big trouble if I let Himeji-san go shopping only for her to say something like ‘I’ll buy the ingredients for dinner, so leave dinner to me’.
“Mizuki-san, if the stuff you’re going to carry is going to be very heavy, you just need to get Aki-kun to help. Don’t see him this way, you know. He is a man after all.”
“The ‘after all’ is unnecessary.”
“Ah, that’s not it. Of course I know that Akihisa-kun’s a boy.”
Perhaps Himeji-san feels awkward about me helping her to carry stuff as she doesn’t know how to respond. But this little hassle itself isn’t hard.
“Let’s go together then, Himeji-san.”
“…Then, I guess it’s okay if Akihisa-kun says so…”
Looking somewhat troubled, Himeji-san nodded in agreement. Of course, I have no reason to object. I really have to go out, and most importantly, I’m very delighted that I’m going out with a girl during a holiday. Of course, it’s better because Himeji-san is going out with me.
“Let’s have lunch then. I have some work to deal with in the afternoon.”
Nee-san said as she kept the controller. She then walks over to the kitchen, and whispers to me,
“I suppose you should know about this, Aki-kun.”
“Un? What is it, nee-san?”
For some reason, I feel that I know what nee-san is going to say. She’s probably going to say something like no illicit relationships like usual.
“Don’t do something stupid that removes the eligibility to be a bride.”
I really can’t tell whether this bride is Himeji-san or me here…
After lunch, we got ready to leave. About 30 minutes later, Himeji-san and I are in the shopping center in town.
“What do you want to buy, Himeji-san?”
I asked Himeji-san while we’re at the entrance.
“Eh, I want to buy some clothes…what about you, Akihisa-kun?”
“Me? Ah, it’s nothing big. I can just buy it little when I have the time.”
I said a painlessly vague thing.
Actually, the reason why I came here is to buy a game that was recently released.
Recently, nee-san has been keeping a close eye on me, so I’ve been enduring up till now, but I can’t hold on now. That’s a rather hotly discussed new work, and I have to buy it no matter what.
“Speaking of which, I heard that there’s a cute part-timer working in this shopping center’s gaming shop…”
“??? Himeji-san, what are you talking about?”
“No, it’s nothing. Oh yes, Akihisa-kun.”
“If it’s alright, can I come along?”
I’ll be very troubled if this happens.
“No no no, you don’t have to follow me to such an extent! It’s really something ordinary!”
I tried to sneak through with a smile.
Let alone nee-san, if possible, I really don’t want to let Himeji-san know what I’m going to buy. Himeji-san herself can’t lie very well, so even if I tell her not to tell nee-san, it’s still possible for nee-san to see through it.
“…It seems suspicious for some reason…”
“Wha, what’s suspicious about it?”
Himeji-san narrows her eyes as she stares at me. She normally looks rather dull, but will occasionally sharpen up. This is bad.
“Can I come along with you to go buy it too?”
“No no no! You have something else you want to do right, Himeji-san? You don’t have to worry about me at all!”
“You don’t have to worry about me, Akihisa-kun. I can accompany you no matter how long it is.”
“You really don’t have to worry about it!”
“Akihisa-kun, it’s suspicious that you’ve been trying to shake me off!”
“Not at all! That’s how I normally am!”
Himeji-san’s interrogation is really becoming harder for me to take on. This is really bad…
“You really want to go to the gaming shop, right, Akihisa-kun!?”
“No, I’m going to buy an ero-book.”
This is the so-called desperately clinging onto survival at this point. I can only let my reputation be ruined. Nee-san has already exposed me already, so it’s too late to cover it up anyway.
This unexpected answer from me seems to cause Himeji-san to widen her eyes and show a shocked expression. Looks like this battle is mine.
“Then, do you still want to come along with me, Himeji-san?”
I gave a proud look of a victor as I asked. Even though I feel that this victory is based on something a human definitely can’t lose over, I decided not to think too much or I will feel very sad in lots of ways.
“Uu…I, I understand! If that’s really the case, I’ll come along and choose with you, Akihisa-kun!”
“WHAT DID YOU SAY!?”
This is really an unexpected development! What should I do? If this keeps up, I’ll end up having a scary experience of shopping Ero-books with my female classmate!
But right now, I can’t back off. Since she’s already shocked by my unexpected answer, I’ll feel pain as she feels pain as well. This is a duel!
“Is this really alright, Himeji-san? I intend to buy a really erotic ero-book!”
Come on! Be terrified! Give up then!
“Uu…tha, that’s definitely a lie! Akihisa-kun only collects albums of naked women!”
Why is she not backing away? This isn’t a situation to mess around!
“I, I have a new fetish recently!”
“The, then, please explain the contents!”
“Explain? Ku…! Ehh, who’s scared here! I’ll show it to you! Don’t think that I’m the type who’ll just talk!”
“(Pi) is (Dogonk) into (Sugiuun) to (Zapan~)!”
“(Pi) is (Dogonk) into (Sugiuun) to (Zapan~)? No, you can’t! Even I’ll feel troubled if that’s true!”
This is really effective. Alright, now for the finishing blow!
“That’s not all. I also like (broadcast error) and (inspection deletion) and (automatic censors) as well!”
“Ha, haa…! Erm, Akihisa-kun…”
“Nn? What is it, Himeji-san?”
“I just want it to be normal. If possible, I hope that you don’t have such interests…”
Eh, why are we talking about Himeji-san’s interests?
Leaving this aside, the winner’s decided now. I probably can go buy my games now.
As I thought this way, a voice suddenly came from behind.
“You’re high school students, right? Come over and tell me your guardians’ contact.”
“Let’s go buy what we need to buy then! What’s over there?”
“Hold it right there!”
I pulled Himeji-san’s hand and started to run. It seemed that the security guard uncle lost us on the way. As I turned around, he disappeared.
“Really…things got so complicated again…”
“Leaving aside that, Akihisa-kun. If you don’t admit that those were lies…”
“—I’ll feel uneasy about the future…”
Is she worried about my future? Looks like I did go overboard there.
“We, well, those things were all lies. What I wanted to buy isn’t something big.”
Himeji-san stared at my with teary eyes. Uu…why is there such a strong guilt…can’t be helped then. I better tell her the truth.
“Sorry. I was actually planning to go out and buy a game.”
“Un. A new game’s released today.”
“Wha, what…so that’s it?”
Himeji-san sighed as if a burden was lifted from her. Eh? Didn’t she guess that I was going to buy games?
“I thought you would be interested in that onee-san at the game shop…”
“Eh? What do you mean by that?”
“No, it’s alright if you don’t know. Please don’t mind.”
I don’t actually understand why, but Himeji-san just placed her hand at her chest to heave a sigh of relief.
Speaking of which, I remember that when I went over to that game shop to buy a game, I did not have enough money, so I worked there for a short while. It would be bad if nee-san found out that I went to buy games, so I put on a wig and glasses to disguise myself. If the shop keeper let slip of some unnecessary things, I will be rather troubled. Thus it’s better not to let Himeji-san come along to buy games with me.
I’ll go over to the game shop later then. Right now, I’ll accompany Himeji-san to shop.
“Erm, how about we go to the second level first? You want to shop for clothes, don’t you, Himeji-san?”
“Ah. You’re fine with accompanying me?”
“Un. I can buy the thing I want whenever I want to.”
The first level of this shopping center has a food court, a sports equipment stall, a food market and other stuff. On the second level, there are shops selling CDs, books and games, and there’s also a shop for clothing and little accessories. It will be better for Himeji-san to go to the second level if she wants to shop for clothes.
We take the upgoing escalator to the second level, but while we’re on the way, Himeji-san tugged at my sleeve lightly.
“Nn? What is it, Himeji-san?”
“Can we go play for a while before we start shopping?”
Himeji-san was staring at the amusement area in front of her.
“Do you normally play such things, Himeji-san?”
“No, I don’t often go to such places. But it’s special today, and this is revenge for the ping pong game just now.”
“Is that so? I accept your challenge then.”
Himeji-san really doesn’t like to lose. I know that she works hard, but I didn’t know that she had such a side to her.
“It’s decided then.”
“Okay then. But you don’t have to be so anxious, do you, Himeji-san?”
“Nope. There’s a limit to a day’s worth of time.”
Himeji-san pulls my arm and walks into the amusement area. There are all sorts of games, including the crane games at the entrance, gun shooting games, medal games, racing games, fighting games, and all sorts of them.
“Ah…this doll is so cute…”
“Nn? Lemme see.”
Himeji-san stopped in front of a crane game. There’s a white rabbit portable strap. It is designed in a 2-headed size deformed figure, and it looks just like a kid born between a kitty and a rabbit. Un, it looks good.
“Let me try and get it!”
Before I could even stop her, Himeji-san threw a 100 yen coin. She cautiously presses the button and moves the crane.
But the crane arm got a panda strap that’s 2 dolls away.
GOTO, GOTONK, the strap let out a sound as it falls to the exit. Leaving aside what she wanted to get, she did get a prize.
“You’re amazing to succeed once, Himeji-san.”
“Uu…are you saying that on purpose, Akihisa-kun?”
“Ahaha. It’s one thing if it’s just beside it, so in a certain sense, getting it 2 dolls away is rather amazing.”
“You’re too much, Akihisa-kun. You’re thinking that I’m rather slow, right?”
“No—un, that, about that…”
“You should be denying it here!”
“What do you want to play next, Himeji-san?”
“You definitely feel that I’m slow, Akihisa-kun…changing the topic like that so casually…I understand. In that case, I’ll play some other game to make you change your impression on me!”
“Alright. Let’s have a showdown then, Himeji-san.”
“I’ll definitely win this time. It’s not my intention to let that Akihisa-kun call me slow!”
“Ahaha. I don’t know whether you’ll be saying that once the winner’s decided, Himeji-san.”
As we talked, I suddenly realized something. Unknowingly, the relationship between Himeji-san and me may have developed to the point where we can joke with each other. In other words—
“Maybe the distance between us has shrunk somewhat…”
“What is it?”
I inadvertently exchange looks with Himeji-san. Did Himeji-san…
“What did you just say?”
“Is, is that something? Aha, ahaha!”
Did I mistake a game sound or something for Himeji-san’s voice? Or is it the voice of somebody else nearby? Un…
“Forget about that. What should we play next?”
“Ah, that’s right. As for a game where we can decide the winner…”
I see an air hockey game in front of me. That should be easy for us to settle things. However…
“You just mentioned that shaking will hurt…”
“It’ll be troublesome if it breaks too…”
“What is it?”
Himeji-san and I exchange looks again. She did say something this time, right?
“Eh, erm, Akihisa-kun. How about we use that to decide the winner?”
Himeji-san’s finger pointed at a quiz game. I see. If it’s that kind of game, we can use the speed of pressing buttons to tell whether we’re slow or not, and there’s no need to move our bodies too much. That’s perfect for the two of us.
“Okay. I’ll show you that I know lots of trivia too.”
“Fufu. If it’s a quiz on knowledge, I won’t lose.”
We sit down on a chair each and put in 100 yen coin. We press the start button, enter our names, and arrive at the quiz genre choice screen.
“I choose ‘social’.”
“Nn…I’ll choose ‘sports’ then.”
We choose our genres and press the button. The machine starts to ask a question, and first, it’ll be Himeji-san with her social question.
“First question, social.”
The machine lets out a reciting voice.
“Which year did Japan sign the International treaty that forbids killing of sea otters and fur seals? Please state your answer in Western calendar terms.”
Who knows about such a thing!!?
“Erm. It’s signed in 1911.”
“WHY DO YOU KNOW OF SUCH A THING!?”
Himeji-san entered the number, and the screen shows a large ‘correct!’ word on it. Now she leads me by 1 point.
I start to worry about Himeji-san’s vast knowledge as I prepare for the next question. This time, it’s a question from the sports genre I chose from. What kind of question will appear next?
“Second question, sports.”
The machine let out a reciting tone again,
“In football, what is the only position that can use hands.”
Isn’t the difficulty way too different from the one before!
“Eh…I remember, it’s the catcher, right?”
But the knowledge level of the one who answered fell off quite a lot as well. If that’s the case, I might have a chance.
“It’s the goalkeeper, Himeji-san.”
I answered as I entered ‘goalkeeper’. Now my score increased, and both of us have the same score. Looks like this game won’t deduct scores when we make a mistake.
“Muu…I won’t lose, Akihisa-kun.”
“Same here, Himeji-san.”
We can only get points from the genres we’re good at as we continue this battle.
And then, we take on the last question with the same score. During the short time the machine reads the question, Himeji-san suddenly asks,
“It feels like we’re on a date when we come out to play like this. I’m so happy.”
“You’re shaken up~”
Using this chance, Himeji-san answered the question, and the answer’s correct. The outcome now is that I lost.
“It’s my win then, Akihisa-kun.”
“Uu…you actually made me hesitate with such words.”
“Fufu, you’re the one at fault here.”
I was careless. I didn’t think that Himeji-san would use such a method.
“And there’s something I’m unhappy about, Akihisa-kun.”
“Eh? What are you unhappy about?”
She’s still unhappy even though she won. What does that mean?
“You actually hesitated because of those words I said. That means you never realized anything before I said this, did you, Akihisa-kun?”
“I was already so tense since just now. That’s so unfair.”
Himeji-san pouts as she puffs her cheeks.
What does this mean? Just when I’m feeling bothered—
My sixth sense detected a certain person’s presence.
I didn’t see it, but I understand it…the atmosphere that’s coming here, the instinct that helped me overcome several crisis, all these tell me something—
(It’s the presence of an enemy…!)
Most likely, it’s someone from F class. It may be Yuuji or Sugawa-kun or even Fukumura-kun. Anyway, there’s no need to imagine what kind of outcome there’ll be if Himeji-san and I get discovered here.
“What’s wrong, Akihisa-kun?”
“Over here, Himeji-san.”
“Eh? Ah, yes.”
Anyway, let’s hide for me. I hold Himeji-san’s hand and move away from the presence. There’s some sort of a game machine in front of my eyes, and we hide behind it. Now nobody can see our faces from the outside.
Himeji-san muttered. I peer outside to check whether the owner of that presence discovered us.
(That’s weird…that presence isn’t closing in on us. It’s even moving away…)
If it’s discovered by me, I guess the chances of the enemy discovering us are very high too. But the enemy isn’t coming after us. What’s going on? Am I being too alert here?
“Ah, never mind. We’re safe for now.”
I relax and turn to face Himeji-san again. Himeji-san is staring at the game with a serious expression. Un? What now?
“Erm…21st December, type A…”
Himeji-san had already put in a coin as she started to enter data on the screen.
“Alright, it’s your turn then, Akihisa-kun.”
I’m not too sure of what’s going on here, but I proceed to stand in front of the screen. The screen shows a line that reads ‘please enter your birthday and blood type. Eh? This is…ah, I see. It’s a fortune telling machine.
“Then, mine’s 18th October, blood type is…erm.”
Pon pon. I enter my birthday and blood type. Speaking of which, this might be my first time playing a fortune telling game.
“Then, both parties are to touch the crystal ball in the middle.”
I follow the instruction and put my hand on the crystal ball in the middle.
Right beside me, Himeji-san showed a tense expression as she placed her hand on the crystal ball. Eh, Himeji-san, I know that you will do your best for everything, but there’s no need to be so serious, right?
“Fortune results are being printed. Please wait.”
There’s a printing sound coming from near the receipt slow, and a piece of paper with words that feels like a ticket drops out. Himeji-san picks it up and reads it in a focused manner.
“Himeji-san, is there something nice written on it?”
Himeji-san continues to read the slip to such an extent that she’s not listening to me. Uu, but I can’t see anything from here.
Can’t be helped then. I can only remain where I am. After a while, Himeji-san has finished reading, and suddenly lifts her face.
She’s showing such a happy smile that I had never seen before.
“I guess something good’s written on it given your response, right?”
“Yes, it’s really good.”
She said with a dazzling smile on her face.
“I’m happy about what’s written on the paper, but what makes me most happy is that you came to play this game with me, Akihisa-kun.”
I came here to play with her…oh yeah. I did bring her inside this machine. In that case, I’ll have to apologize to her.
“Sorry for that just now, Himeji-san.”
“Eh? About what?”
“I dragged you here just now. Isn’t your arm hurting?”
“Fufu. You made me happier when you did that.”
??? Made her happy?
“Looks like you don’t know what I’m talking about, Akihisa-kun.”
“You’re really slow-witted, Akihisa-kun.”
Uu…I really can’t argue with that. I just lost that quiz game after all.
“Oh yeah, Akihisa-kun, can I keep this paper?”
“Un. I’m fine with that.”
“Thank you. I’ll really treasure it.”
After saying that, Himeji-san folds that piece of paper properly and keeps it in her purse.
Though I don’t mind her doing that…
“Then, it’s about time to go buy our stuff. Akira-san will worry if we return late.”
“Ah, wait, Himeji-san.”
I don’t mind her doing this…but let alone the results of the fortune telling, she never told me what kind of fortune telling we were doing just now…
“You’re going to buy games, Akihisa-kun?”
“Un, that’s what I planned.”
“Really…don’t spend too much, you know? Akira-san will get angry, right?”
Even though Himeji-san said so, she basically let me off by turning a blind eye to this. She’s really kind.
“Oh yeah, what kind of shop are you going to, Himeji-san?”
“Eh! Me, me? I…I’m just shopping around.”
Himeji-san panicked as she answered my question. Huh, is there something secretive she wants to buy?
“Himeji-san, are you buying…”
“I, it’s nothing! I have nothing to buy! I’m just going to walk around!”
Himeji-san’s actions are really not natural. What does she want to hide?
Speaking of which, I’m sneaking out to buy games here, so I do understand the feeling of sneaking out to buy stuff. And if it’s Himeji-san, she definitely won’t buy something weird, so I guess I don’t have to worry.
“Really? Then, how about I look for you after I’m done with my shopping, Himeji-san?”
“O, okay. Anyway, Akihisa-kun, can you please call me after you’re done shopping? I’ll be glad if you can do so.”
After checking that both of us are holding our phones, I break off from Himeji-san as I head to the shop selling games.
“Then. Game, game time!”
I start to look around as I walk towards the game shop.
At this moment, I discover a guy standing in front of me.
A hairstyle that’s like a lion’s mane.
A face that’s full of wildness.
A presence that looks really stupid.
I can’t be mistaken here. That’s—
I’m definitely not mistaken here. That’s my arch-nemesis, Sakamoto Yuuji.
“Why that heck is he here…?”
I can’t help but mutter.
It’s not weird for that guy to appear here. It’s a holiday today, so there’s nothing strange about meeting the people around us even in this shopping center. The problem is—
“Why at such a moment…”
The problem is that I just met a guy who might think that I’m dating Himeji-san here. Then, was the enemy’s presence I detected coming out from that guy?
If the fact that Himeji-san and I are living together is exposed, there’s no need to talk about what kind of consequences there will be. That guy’s a member of F class too, an enemy of justice who will work hard to prevent the happiness of others even if it means working overnight.
Since I met that guy in such a situation now—
“…I can only kill him now.”
Take the initiative. Kill enemies on sight. I must kill the enemy before I get killed.
Since I’ve decided what I want to do, there’s no time to hesitate. I hide my presence and move from one shadow to another, sneaking behind that kid’s back. As for the target…very good. He never discovered me. Now I can kill him!
As I unleash my momentum, I proceed to let out a killing blow.
“GO TO HELL, YUUJI!”
“Oops, my shoelaces…”
Yuuji suddenly bent down. The kick I unleashed with all my strength went right above that guy.
I remain in my kicking position while Yuuji remains bent down as we continue to stare at each other for several seconds.
“You kept your life there, Yuuji! But don’t think there’s a next time now!”
“Ah! Hey! Hold it!”
The ambush failed, so I decided to leave the battlefield immediately. I will be at a disadvantage no matter what when I take on this guy. In this situation, I should retreat and regroup.
I run away from the battlefield as I think.
That Yuuji was shocked by my sudden attack, but he probably won’t chase after me. If he saw me with Himeji-san, it’ll be another thing altogether, but if he didn’t, there’s no need for him to chase after me in front of everyone. I’ll wait for tomorrow to take my revenge. That’ll be better.
That should be the case—
“Akihisa, you bastard! Hold it right there!”
For some reason, Yuuji’s chasing after me.
What’s this now? Why must he deliberately chase after me?
Damn it! Why do I just have to meet Akihisa of all people at such a moment here!? Is the fact that Shouko and I are going out exposed now? Is this why I was attacked? So that stupid presence I detected came out from this guy?
“And why must I be the one attacked here…”
I’m going with Shouko like this, but that’s because Shouko wrecked my phone when she went to check if I was cheating on her. I just came here to repair my phone. Even if Akihisa or the other idiots see me, there’s no reason for them to attack me.
Even so, but—
“…Those guys definitely won’t think of such things…!”
Going out with a girl on a holiday—they will attack me for that reason alone, and I have no way to argue back or defend myself.
In that case…
“—Better kill him.”
I must take the initiative before he finds allies. This will be the most appropriate.
The voice can be heard from behind. Tch! I can’t shake him off!
“This will be bad if this keeps up…”
The plan to regroup myself and ambush him when he’s careless is slowly becoming a failure. Damn it. I have to find a way to shake him off here!
We continue to run, but the distance between us is shortening. We’re running at the same speed now, but the enemy has the definite advantage of making cuts, so it’s a matter of time before he catches up to me.
In that case—
“I’ll bet on this!”
I turn around a corner and immediately dart into a shop to escape from that guy.
“That damned bastard! Where did he go!”
It seems that that idiot Yuuji immediately lost me, so he’s looking at the entrance of the shop. Alright, success!
I adjust my panting as I hide my presence. If I’m careless by the slightest bit, I’ll be discovered by that guy. I have to find a way to hide inside the shop.”
“Oh yeah. What does this shop sell?”
I try not to make my posture too weird as I slowly investigate my surroundings.
And all sorts of colors are around me.
Fm fm. I see. This is—
(--A female underwear shop.)
The shop displays all sorts of bra and underwear.
(HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO HIDE IN HERE!)
I’VE NEVER FACED SUCH A CRISIS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. A MALE HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT RUNNING INTO AN UNDERWEAR SHOP WILL DEFINITELY STAND OUT NO MATTER HOW I HIDE IN SUCH A SITUATION! THERE’S STILL A REASON IF I’M WITH A GIRL, BUT I’M ALONE HERE! I CAN’T EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE!
From inside the shop, I peer out at Yuuji. That guy’s about to turn his head here as well! That’s was close!
I immediately pull my neck back and hide behind the mannequin in underwear.
At this moment, the shop attendant probably finds me very suspicious as she stares at me with a shocked expression.
Ku…! In that case, I can only force it!
I endure the shop attendant’s stare as I raise the underwear on the hanger. I then try to convince myself while trying to look naturally.
(I’m a perverted underwear maniac here. Mix in here! Stay inside this women underwear shop with a matter-of fact expression! Mix into the surroundings!)
I give a serious look as I watch the underwear. Don’t blush! Lose yourself! I have to be an underwear expert of sorts and proudly choose one!
I continue to convince myself. However, this is all futile as the shop attendant seems determined as she asks me,
“Erm, dear customer…?’
The shop attendant onee-san asked with a suspicious and nervous tone.
Ugh…that won’t work too…with such lousy acting, I can’t pretend to be an underwear lover…?
As I get corrupted by despair, my knees weaken.
But at this moment, a teacher’s words rang in my heart.
A deep, gruff, forceful voice replayed in my mind.
“NO MATTER WHAT, IF YOU WANT TO DO IT, MAKE SURE YOU FINISH THE JOB!”
At this moment, my wilting strength is recovered.
That’s right. It’s still too early to give up. We learned something important from Ironman during the baseball summoned beast tournament!
I exert my strength back into the limp legs and straight my back.
“De, dear customer?”
The shop attendant let out a worried voice, but I ignored her as I proceed with the next action.
I slowly take a piece of underwear from the display, pry it out and put it on my head. At this moment, I say something cool to the shop attendant onee-san.
“Fm…it’s a little okay to wear it…”
Hold on a minute! Why is that shop attendant yelling out so loudly!? What if Yuuji hears it from outside?
“THE, THERE’S A PER—MGH”
It’s a critical situation now, so I use my hand to cover the shop attendant’s mouth. Damn it, don’t I look like some underwear weirdo even at this point?
I cautiously look outside the shop. Luckily, Yuuji’s looking for me at the other shops and has no intention of coming in.
The shop attendant with her mouth covered by me falls limp. I proceed to look forward, and find that she fainted from lack of oxygen. Eh? This doesn’t seem good!
After checking that she’s still breathing, I again wonder about how to get away from this predicament of despair.
Yuuji’s still watching outside the shop savagely. The only way to actually deal with him is…
After thinking for a while, I made a conclusion. There’s only that way to deal with that guy most effectively.
Let’s call Kirishima-san then.
Once I call Kirishima-san and tell her that ‘I saw Yuuji with another girl on the second level of the shopping center’, that guy’s life will be extinguished in less than 2 seconds. This plan will not only ensure my own life, it can keep my secret of living with Himeji-san safe. That’s perfect.
“In that case…”
I take out my phone and search out Kirishima-san’s phone number from the phone book.
I press the button and wait for the ring.
And then, the sound of a phone speaker lets out a sound.
For some reason, it seems that a phone rang in the changing room nearby. Huh?
Kirishima-san’s voice enters my ear. However, this voice isn’t just coming from the phone, but also from the changing room right behind me as well. Do, don’t tell me…
“…Un. What is it, Yoshii?”
Kirishima-san’s voice can be heard clearly from the changing room behind me. Don’t tell me she’s in this shop too!?
I subconsciously check what this shop is about. This is a female underwear shop, and Kirishima-san’s voice is coming out from the changing room. In other words…
“So, sorry! Nothing at all!”
I inadvertently panicked the moment I thought about Kirishima-san changing in the changing room. It can’t be helped anyway! How can I calm down when a girl of my age is changing while I’m around!?
Such an unexpected situation happened, and I panicked. The voice that was let out seem to be louder than before, so Kirishima-san in the changing room seemed to have heard my voice.
“???…Yoshii, are you on the second level of the shopping center?”
“Heh? Ah, erm!”
“…Let’s talk face to face then. I really can’t talk well.”
Swoosh. A sound came from behind. It should be the sound of Kirishima-san pulling aside the curtain. Then, Kirishima-san won’t come out in underwear only, will she?
My self-restraint that’s telling me not to look triumphed over my urge to look, so I immediately escape from the scene.
Basically, I choose to run into another changing room nearby.
Kirishima-san’s voice came from the other side of the curtain. That was really close. I was nearly viewed as a pervert there.
I use my hand to wipe away my sweat, and slowly lift my head.
And I’m looking at Himeji-san with her bare skin, rooted to the spot.
Himeji-san used the clothes she took off to cover her body as she asked me with a timid voice.
“Un? What is it, Himeji-san?”
In contrast to her response, I’m not panicking at all as I’m coolly thinking of how to respond. If I panic in such a moment, she’ll feel worried, so I have to calm down.
“Erm…what are you doing here?”
Then, I’ll just answer confidently so that she won’t feel worried.
“Haha. Is it really weird for me to be here?”
“Ah, no, that…”
No, to be honest, it’s really weird for me to be here.
“I’m looking for a cap here, trying to look around for something nice~”
I said as I pointed at the underwear on my hear.
Don’t worry. Himeji-san is all confused now. Once I simply insist that it’s a hat, I’ll definitely be able to pull through!
Himeji-san’s mind is severely slowing down, but there’s still something about my words she find weird. Argh, I’ll just bluff through with momentum!
“That’s right. It’s a hat. Doesn’t it suit me?”
“No, not at all. It suits you!”
I can’t help but feel really complicated.
But leaving aside my personal feelings, let’s talk about something else. This topic is too dangerous.
“What about you, Himeji-san? What are you doing here?”
“Eh, erm…the hook on my bra was spoilt this morning, so I came here to buy it…”
Spoilt this morning…don’t tell me it was during the ping-pong game? I see, so that’s why she said that she had something to buy.
“W, well, it’s not like that! I’m wearing one different from usual! This…that…I want to say, since there’s a chance, I wanted to take a little risk. I just met Shouko-chan just now, and she recommended this kind of underwear to me for a decisive victory. I don’t normally go for this style…”
Himeji-san started to defend herself blankly. However, I’ll be bothered if she describes the details of a girl choosing underwear to me.
“Ahaha, calm down, Himeji-san. I can’t understand what you’re talking about.”
“Erm, well, that…sorry…”
Himeji-san lowered her head, blushing.
Anyway, Kirishima-san probably returned back to the changing room.
“It’s about time for me to go.”
“Okay. See you later.”
I put my hand on the changing room’s curtain and get ready to slip out.
But before that—
“Oh yeah, Himeji-san.”
I let Himeji-san hold onto something that’s been in my hand.
“Ye, yes. This…”
Himeji-san slowly opened her hand the moment she received it to see what it is.
That’s the underwear I put on my head.
“WHAT WERE YOU DOING, AKIHISA-KUN!”
“DAMN IT! I’M BACK TO NORMAL!”
I continue to endure the surge of nosebleed as I dash out of the underwear shop in an embarrassed manner.
As we walk back home from the shopping center, I continued to hear out Himeji-san’s lecture.
“Why must you always start such…erm, somewhat vulgar trouble, Akihisa-kun?”
“No, I wasn’t being perverted there. It’s more like it was out of unfortunate circumstances.”
“Don’t find an excuse now!”
I immediately straightened my back once I was lectured by her.
On a side note, Yuuji endured Kirishima-san’s hug (to put it lightly) for quite a while and fell limp onto the floor before being dragged away. I guess his chances of living are at most around 50%.
“Do you understand, Akihisa-kun? Bad things will happen when you run into a changing room like that—and a female underwear shop at that!”
“What do you intend to do if it’s other females instead of me?”
Himeji-san puffed her cheeks. Eh, that’s true. She’s right here…
“And I wasn’t mentally prepared yet…but that might be better than letting you look at other girls in a pervy manner…”
Himeji-san muttered. I can’t actually tell what she’s talking about, but she does look really angry. What should I do now? I must definitely find a way to apologize…it’s not easy to erase away the sight of her in lingerie, so I should at least compensate. Is there something I can do…
“Something I can definitely do…something I can definitely do…”
In this case, there’s only cooking. Himeji-san’s living at my house now. I’ll just make something she likes and apologize to her earnestly.
“What is it?”
I look over at her eyes sincerely,
“Wh, what is it, Akihisa-kun? Why is your expression so serious?”
“This might not be considered an apology, but, if you don’t mind, please let me—”
“Eh? O, okay!”
“—Please let me make something you like to eat, Himeji-san!”
I said with utmost sincerity.
I did something bad, so I’ll show off my culinary skills and make a good meal. Hopefully, this will ease up on my guilt.
“So…well…Himeji-san, can you name some things you like to eat?”
“Even if it’s a little difficult, I’ll try my best to do it!”
“I don’t know!”
Himeji-san scowled and looked away.
Eh? Did I say something wrong?
I ponder for a short while. Eh…ah, of course! I’m actually trying to bribe a girl of young girl with food. There has to be a limit to how slow I am! Of course I would make her angry the way I do this!
“So, sorry! I really don’t mean anything else. It’s simply because I only know how to cook, so…”
“I thought you would say something like taking responsibility…”
Himeji-san’s angrier now. What can I do now? It seems that I made her even angrier. In this case, I can only use my ultimate move, kneeling down with my head down in the middle of the road to expression my sincerity!
“I’m really sorry! At least allow me to use my own way to—”
“—finish things here…eh?”
I stop myself from kneeling down and lift my face. What did Himeji-san just say?
I heard it clearly this time.
Paella? Why is she saying that all of a sudden?
“You can make paella for dinner…it was really nice the last time.”
Himeji-san said with an unhappy look still on her face. Ah, the paella is referring to what I asked her what she wanted to have, right? In other words…
“You’re willing to forgive me, Himeji-san?”
“No second time after this. I won’t forgive you if you do something like that again, Akihisa-kun.”
“Affirmative! I’ll remember it with all my heart!”
“Again…really, Akihisa-kun, it’s because you’re so useless…”
Himeji-san said as she gave a relaxed expression.
Great. It seems that she’s willing to forgive me for saying that at the wrong time. She’s really kind. I should repay her expectations and make a nice dinner.
Oh yeah, I can make an apple pie as dessert to go with the paella. Let’s put a large amount of apples in the pie and add cinnamon to it, add a nice apricot jam to the top lightly and bake it until it’s slightly charred. It’ll definitely be delicious. Un, that’s not bad.
As I wondered about all those things, Himeji-san continues,
“Then, I’ll make dessert. I won’t allow you to say that!”
“Why are you talking with a kansai accent?”
“No no no, I should do everything from the preparing to the cooking and everything after that to make up for all the trouble I cause! No, please allow me do so!”
I’m sorry to Himeji-san about this, but thanks to how I barged into the changing room accidentally, I managed to ensure an excuse of me being able to make dinner safely.
We safely passed the trial of dinner, and we had already washed the plates (in the end, Himeji-san did help me out with that). Right now, it’s past 8pm, and Himeji-san and I are in my room, at the table with our books and stationery laid out.
“Then, let’s start studying, Akihisa-kun.”
That’s right, studying.
Looks like Himeji-san has been studying and revising her homework here every day. Nee-san actually gave such an unreasonable order ‘in that case, Aki-kun, study with her’ the moment she heard that. Of course, I have no right to refuse, and since Himeji-san said ‘let’s do our best’ as she agreed heartily to that, so things ended up like this.
“Eh, where should we start studying from? Are there any subjects you’re good at, Akihisa-kun?”
“None at all.”
“Let’s study them all then.”
“I want to study Japanese history!”
“I understand. Let’s focus on Japanese History, we’ll focus less on the other subjects.”
You’re not going to stop with studying all the subjects?
“Hi, Himeji-san! There won’t be enough time, right?’
“Don’t worry, you can study a lot in 4 hours.”
Wait a sec! Is there some special exam tomorrow?
“I couldn’t study during the day, so I have to study hard at night.”
Himeji-san said calmly as if it’s something minor. Let, let me check with her again.
“Well…Himeji-san, do you know?”
“Un? Know what?”
“There’s only 24 hours per day.”
“I don’t think there are many high school students who don’t know this…”
No no no! That’s not what I’m trying to say! What I want to say is that there’s only 24 hours a day, but using 4 hours to study is really a waste!
“Then, let’s begin, Akihisa-kun.”
Himeji-san is completely motivated. She’s serious!
“Himeji-san, don’t you feel tired? We’ve walked so much in the day, and you can’t sleep well on a futon you’re not used to, right?”
“Well…I’m a little tired…”
“Right, that’s right!”
“That’s why I have to hurry up and study before I fall asleep.”
Not good. We’re thinking differently here.
I know Himeji-san is working hard, but I didn’t know that she was so passionate about studying. No wonder her grades are outstanding.
“Ah, before we study ahead, let’s check our answers of the homework from two days ago.”
Hoho, the answers of the homework…
“Huh? Akihisa-kun, you still haven’t done your homework?”
Of course I haven’t! But if I answer this proudly, Himeji-san will be angry with me, so I have to find an excuse.
“Ah, erm…well, I left my English-Japanese dictionary in school!”
“The homework was maths.”
I really have no way to make an excuse that’s convincing.
“Really, Akihisa-kun…good thing I checked first.”
“If there’s anything you don’t know, I’ll teach you. Do your best.”
Himeji-san flips open the textbook and instruct me on the topics included in this assignment. Ugh…there’s a lot of them…
“There are example questions here. You will be fine if you answer them according to how it is done.”
Himeji-san pointed at the boxed portion on the textbook as she said. Can’t be helped then. Since Himeji-san is teaching me so seriously, I’ll try to work hard then!
I roll my sleeves up and start to solve the questions.
To be honest, the homework’s far more than what I can handle, but thanks to Himeji-san teaching me, I can still barely solve the questions.
While I’m doing my homework—
A knock can be heard on the door.
“Please come in.”
Himeji-san answered, and the door opened. Nee-san appears from behind.
“The bathroom’s filled with hot water. If you don’t mind, you can take a bath.”
I instinctively look over at the clock, and find that it’s already 11. I was grumbling a lot just now, but it seemed that I was rather focused just now.
“Thank you, Akira-san. Akihisa-kun, do you want to…”
“I’m only left with these. I’ll have a bath later once I’m done. You can have a bath first, Himeji-san.”
“Really? I won’t mind then.”
Himeji-san leaves the room.
Then, since she has basically taught me everything, I’ll do my best within my abilities then.
—Taking on the homework—
“Akihisa-kun, the bathroom’s empty.”
Himeji-san’s voice could be heard from behind.
“Okay, I’m done here too.”
I close my textbook and stretch my back. Fuu…it’s really tiring to deal with a subject I’m not good at. But speaking of which, I’m basically bad at every subject.
I move my shoulders and stand up to prepare my change of clothes. Alright, time to bath, time to bath.
Klak, the sound of the door opening behind me echoed.
“It’s good that you finished your work.”
“Un, that’s thanks to you, Himeji-san. Thank you ver—”
At this point, the words suddenly stopped in my mouth.
“Un? What is it?”
“Ah, no, it’s nothing at all!”
Himeji-san tilted her head and gave a puzzled look. As she just bathed, her face was flushed red, and she’s in her pajamas. Un…well, pajamas have the charm that will make anyone defenseless.
Himeji-san undid her hair as the rabbit hairclip she normally wears was in her hand.
Ah, speaking of which, I forgot,
“Ah, Himeji-san, here. For you.”
I took out something I forgot from my shirt pocket and put it in Himeji-san’s hand.
“Eh? This is…”
“You wanted this today, right?”
The thing I handed over to Himeji-san was the rabbit strap she wanted to get from the crane game in the shopping center. I wanted to surprise her after that, so I went away from her to take that strap first.
She stares at the rabbit strap.
“The snow rabbit…Akihisa-kun gave me…”
Snow rabbit? If I have to say it, I feel that’s more like a cat rabbit.
“What’s wrong, Himeji-san? Did you bath too much?”
“Ah, no, it’s nothing!”
Then, did she mix up the cat rabbit and the snow rabbit? Himeji-san’s rather ditzy too, so it’s possible for her to make such a mistake.
“Thank you, Akihisa-kun.”
“Eh, this thing isn’t so expensive for a need to do that.”
Himeji-san bowed to thank me, and that caused me to panic.
That’s because this isn’t something big, and I only got it in one try.
“I’ll treasure this well too.”
Even so, Himeji-san said with a happy look. I feel that giving her this gift is worth it after seeing her being so happy.
But I’m somewhat embarrassed as well. Better leave for now.
“I’ll go and bathe then.”
“Un, take your time.”
Himeji-san and I cross each other as if it were a swap while I leave the room for the bathroom.
Perhaps it was because I felt nervous when I was with her that I couldn’t help but sigh loudly the moment I sat in the bathtub.
(Feels strange for some reason…)
My mind start to have this thought while I’m in the bathtub.
Himeji-san and I have known each other since young, but there didn’t seem to be any interactions between us before this year, and even so, she’s living in the same house as me now.
(…Which one is more natural?)
Becoming friends and not talking to each other.
A classmate who I only got to know better in the past half year, now living in my house.
(Un…I really don’t know.)
After knowing each other better, I started to see the hidden side of Himeji-san recently, like how she’s unexpectedly determined to win, and how she’s determined to persist until the end once she decides or something.
On the other hand, regarding primary school, there are only two things I have an impression on Himeji-san. The first is that her body was weaker than now.
(And the other thing is…)
As I was thinking about this, my mind started to feel fuzzy. Not good. Looks like I soaked in for too long too.
I stand up from the bathtub, take a shower, and walk out of the bathroom. I wipe my body, put on shorts and T-shirt and use the towel to wipe my hair on the corridor. I’ll skip the hair drying as I find it troublesome.
Maybe it’s because I soaked in for so long that a sleepy feeling struck me. It was really intense today, and I’m tired because I ran around, so it’s to be expected that I want to sleep now.
Speaking of which, is Himeji-san still studying?
“Or is she asleep?”
Himeji-san doesn’t have much health, and this house is unfamiliar to her, so the fatigue she built up might be more than mine by a lot.
I stood in front of the door, being careful not to disturb her.
Then, the sight of Himeji-san studying seriously appeared in front of me.
The thing I thought of just now suddenly appeared in my mind.
The other impression she gave me was,
(—She works harder than anyone.)
That was the impression I had of Himeji-san during primary school.
Of course, I don’t have the time to talk about this. However, Himeji-san actually wasn’t the kind of person who could study well. The reason why she’s able to get top–class grades in the promotional school Fumitzuki Gakuen has to be because she continues to work hard.
“Ah, Akihisa-kun, you’re done bathing.”
Himeji-san noticed me and lifted her face.
And she stared at my face blankly.
“Un? What is it?”
“Nothing. It’s just that I find it rare for you to comb your fringe back, Akihisa-kun.”
“Un, it looks refreshing.”
“Speaking of which, it’s refreshing to see you like this, Himeji-san.”
To add on, she looks rather bewitching right now as the pajamas is very thin and the collar is very loose…
“Oh yeah, Akihisa-kun. Since you’re done with your homework, how about we check the answers?”
“Un, I was planning to do so in the first place.”
But instead of checking answers, it’s more like correcting my mistakes.
“I’ll sit here then.”
Himeji-san takes her book to sit beside me, probably because it’s not a good reading position,
“Color is emptiness…emptiness is color…”
“What’s wrong, Akihisa-kun?”
“It’s nothing. This is just something of a chant that will seal off my sight, hearing, touch and smell to focus.”
“How are you going to study hard with only tastes?”
Humans can’t control their own senses at will…
Leaving aside this, we started to check each other’s answers. Or rather, just as I predicted, the problems I solved have lots of errors.
Himeji-san corrected the parts I was wrong at one after another, and I again try to solve them.
“Himeji-san, this is—”
Looking over, I see Himeji-san dozing off there.
Looks like she’s definitely tired. I’ll let her sleep like this. She’s in her pajamas, and I can carry her to the bed. It’ll be pitiful if I wake her up.
With that thought, I put my pen aside and get up.
“I’ll end up touching Himeji-san like this in this situation…”
Is this really alright? Is carrying a girl who’s defenseless with thin pajamas and putting her on the bed allowed?
“No no no, I’m not having illicit thoughts, and I don’t intend to do anything vulgar. Such a minor thing should be alright…”
I breathe in and out several times and shake my head. I then cautious reach my hands towards Himeji-san.
At this moment, Himeji-san suddenly opens her eyes in a dazed manner.
“Ah, Hi, Himeji-san. That’s it for today. You should be sleeping now, okay?”
“Ah, okay. That’s…right…”
Himeji-san is all sleepy as she’s already getting ready to sleep.
“Are you alright, Himeji-san? Can you go to bed yourself?”
She rubs her eyes, giving a sleepy response.
“I’ll be happy if you can bring me over…”
After that, Himeji-san opened her arms wide to give a hugging pose. Are you kidding me?
“Oo-o-okay! Please allow your subject Yoshii Akihisa to carry—”
“That’s enough, Aki-kun.”
But just when I was about to reach my hands out, I hear a sheer cold voice.
“Nee-san will help Mizuki-san get to bed. As for you, Aki-kun, go there…”
“—And think of how to write your will.”
“YOU’RE NOT GOING ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED!?’
Nee-san carried the sleepy Himeji-san away from my room.
Really…looks like this is going to be a long night…
The next day.
“Yoshii, come over.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“This is the homework you handed in. All the answers are correct. Please do it again.”
“Hold on a second, sensei. Your Japanese is really weird.”
“What I mean is that copying other people’s work doesn’t count.”
“Ehhh!? That’s not true! I really wrote it on my own!”
“Don’t lie! You, who won’t normally hand in your homework, just handed in your homework all of a sudden with all the questions answered correctly. There has to be a limit to weirdness here!”
“Hold on a moment! This is…but now that you mention it, sensei, it really is weird.”
“Good that you understand.”
“But it’s not like this! There're many reasons…”
In the end, I’m forced to spend 15 minutes answering the questions before the teacher would even believe me.
Special Bulletin: Ironfist-sensei's Life Counseling Chatroom
Ironman-sensei: This time, we’re going to learn about how to extract information.
Sugawa Ryo-kun: Sensei! What does it mean by extracting information?
What does it mean to extract information?
|In recent years, with the advent of the internet and mobile phones being commonplace, there are overly vast numbers of information, even creating a term called Information Society. Remove all unnecessary information from the vast information you can’t remember completely and remember only those that are useful to you. I feel that this is information extraction.|
Ironman-sensei: Then, please use the ‘Entertainment’ and ‘Advert’ sections of Fumitzuki News to try it out. Try and remove any unnecessary parts and use only information that is useful to you. Sugawa Ryo-kun: Okay! I’ll try!
Ironman-sensei: First, I’ll make a sample based on the reports of the previous issue. I will only take necessary information that Fumitzuki Gakuen’s teachers will next. As for the gastrointestinal drug advert, please don’t mind.
|Ironman sensei's Chosen Reports|| Also, our reporter had interviewed the other students who took part in this experiment, only to get negative feedback like “I got messed around hard. I had enough of this.” and “I don’t want to experience such a thing. That damned old granny’s definitely up to no good no matter what she does.”
Also, the aforementioned children-sized summoned beasts are just modifications of the summoners’ characteristics, and the children’s growth environments and social relationships are not considered. As for this, due to the fact that technology isn’t at that level yet, it wouldn’t be easy to count in other factors.
The experiment is interesting, but there’s still room for improvement in this test.
According to rumors, class 2-F, hailed the worst class in the school, has been improving their grades recently.
Home Economics Classroom exploded. Luckily, no one was hurt.
The Home Economics Room, which was opened for students to prepare their refreshments for club activities, exploded for unknown reasons.
in regards to the news that the Home Economics Classroom has to be closed
Girls Swimming Club--Having Special Training for the Meet.
In preparations for the Autumn Tournament Meet, the Girls Swimming Team has started on special training.
Fight against pressure in current society.
Works extremely well against stomachaches and vomiting!
~All-powerful gastrointestinal drug~
Please purchase from the Chemistry Department.
Proven to be unauthorized by the Government.
| Sugawa Ryo's
With number 1
is seriously trying to learn how to be a bride
Girls Swimming Club
all members are taking part
in a competition for him
‘The Strongest will survive and the Unfit will be eliminated’ in order to achieve their qualification for the next IH tournament.
Let’s hope everyone can do their best to achieve a satisfying outcome.
Advert Popular King.
Sugawa Ryo, Special Edition.
The big reveal to the man who continues to break records.
Comes with DVD, 390 yen.
Me and Tsuchiya's House and an Unshakeable Heart
“Really…we suffered because of that damned old granny’s summoned beasts experiment.”
“Yeah. That was troublesome.”
Yesterday, there was a commotion over the kid-sized summoned beasts, and it’s now the next day after school.”
After taking revenge on the principal (we locked the drawer in the principal’s room, wrote a note ‘there’s a real key inside. Do your best♪’ and put several hundred fake keys together with the real one.) Yuuji and I are in the corridor. I guess the principal will be happy that she can do something that will exercise her brain and fingers.
“Speaking of which, that damned old granny’s method was more directed towards a group than individuals. How underhanded.”
We continue to walk back to F class to get our bags as we talk.
If this were the test-of-courage summoned beast tournament, it would be fine, but summoned beasts that can say our true thoughts or become our kids is really questionable. Even I who can normally stay calm couldn’t help but break down, so it should be tough for the rest as well.
As I thought, right beside me—
“Yeah, leaving aside me, someone like you who panic easily will be in deep trouble.”
Yuuji said something weird. Huh? What is this idiot saying?
“That’s my line! I’ve been dealing with them calmly. You’re the one who was panicking, Yuuji.”
“What? You’re the one who had been spouting nonsense. No matter what, I’m the one who definitely remained calm.”
“No no no, I was the cool one, unshakeable like the mountain.”
As we continued talking, we opened the door leading to the classroom of class F.
“The ribbon from the maid outfit Kinoshita is wearing now, starting from 10K!”
“Why are you guys selling other people’s clothing!? And this is a costume from the drama club. Didn’t I say that I won’t sell it to you guys? Anyway, let go!”
Inside the classroom, an auction started by our classmates is wildly taking place.
“See? It’s because I’m a collection of calmness that I’m unmoved by this even when I enter the classroom to see such a commotion, you know?”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t even twitch an eyebrow.”
“DON’T JUST TALK OVER THERE LIKE IT’S NOBODY’S BUSINESS! HURRY UP AND HELP ME OUT HERE!”
Hideyoshi’s call came from the circle formed by the crowd.
Then, I’ll coolly take part in the auction—correction, help Hideyoshi out.
“Un, I feel that I’m definitely calmer than Yuuji.”
“You don’t say. I’m definitely calmer than you here.”
“…That’s why you two nearly left me alone…”
We saved Hideyoshi, who’s still in the cute maid outfit. I see, so those guys in our class obviously wanted to start an auction after seeing Hideyoshi in such clothing. I think Hideyoshi should think of his own charm before he does anything.
Then, leaving aside Hideyoshi’s charm.
“Yuuji’s always shaken after being messed around by Kirishima-san, so I’m definitely the calmer one.”
“You can say such things in your dreams. How are you calmer than me?”
“Everything. The fact is that I’m calmer than you now.”
“Liar. You were pretty shaken up by Hideyoshi’s get-up.”
“What are you saying, Yuuji? I was silently observing calmly without panicking at all.”
“Let’s see how relaxed you can take (flip).”
“That’s despicable (patapatapata)!”
“Yuuji, why must you flip my skirt…well, we’re all guys here…”
“Sorry, Hideyoshi, I intended to flip the skirt up without seeing the underwear.”
“Why must you apologize for this? I’d definitely say that we’re all guys, so it’s fine!”
“Anyway, this can prove that Akihisa’s more likely to be shaken.”
“Kirishima-san! Yuuji just flipped Hideyoshi’s skirt!”
“What! You bastard! Isn’t it too despicable to call her!”
“See, aren’t you shaken too, Yuuji? I’m definitely the calmer one here!”
“Tha, that was just a coincidence! I’m definitely calmer here!”
Gnngh…! This bastard still won’t admit defeat.
““Then, Hideyoshi, who do you think is the calmer one?””
“I’d feel that both of you are around the same…”
Hideyoshi said reluctantly. Muu…that’s unexpected. He actually views me as the same as Yuuji.
“Speaking of which, we can’t tell the difference under different conditions, right?”
Hideyoshi theorized to us.
It’s true that if Kirishima-san appears, I won’t be shocked, yet Yuuji will, and Yuuji won’t be shocked when Hideyoshi’s skirt is flipped, but I will. We can’t have a fair contest when both conditions aren’t the same. It’s like trying to compare which is better, go or shogi.
“In that case, we have to have an even playing field.”
“That’s true. If the conditions are like this, I can’t possibly lose to Yuuji with his standard.”
“What, you two still want to fight?”
I don’t want to end this argument when others feel that I’ll lose to Yuuji!
“But I’d tell you, it’s not easy for similar conditions to be met—”
As he spoke, Hideyoshi was suddenly stunned as he looked at the window for some reason.
I follow where Hideyoshi is looking at. Right in front of me—
“…What are you doing?”
““THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD BE SAYING HERE—!!””
Muttsurini is clinging onto the window from the outside with his camera aimed at Hideyoshi. This is the third level! What is that idiot doing without even tying a safety rope!?
“…You two are really noisy.”
He opens the window from the outside and skillfully sneaks in. No no no, I feel that our reactions are to be expected.
Muttsurini doesn’t care about our concerns (?) at all as he pretends to check the camera while trying to take a photo of Hideyoshi in maid outfit. Is, isn’t this guy way too carefree!?
At this moment, Hideyoshi says to us as we tremble,
“Akihisa, Yuuji, isn’t this perfect?”
““Nn? What’s perfect?””
“Thanks to Muttsurini, it’s proven now that you two are on the same level, right?”
When he said ‘it’s proven now’, was he referring to how we were shocked by Muttsurini’s actions? My voice was a little loud just now, but,
“It’s not like this, Hideyoshi! I was just exclaiming a remark here!”
“Yeah, Hideyoshi! It was just a remark in the form of a cry!”
“Isn’t that being agitated?”
Unnn…well, we can say that from this aspect…but in fact, I wasn’t shaken up at all. Can’t be helped then, I’ll calmly accept this fact then.
“W-, well, I understand, Hideyoshi. In that case, I’ll try and control myself the next time I remark on this. I wasn’t agitated just now, but I don’t want to be mistaken here.”
“Can’t be helped. If remarking can be viewed as being agitated, I’ll control myself a little.”
“You still don’t want to admit it when it’s so obvious? You guys really don’t like to lose…”
““I JUST DON’T WANT OTHERS TO SEE ME AS BEING ON THE SAME LEVEL AS THAT BASTARD THERE!””
We yelled as we pointed at each other. I’ll only lose to that guy in grades and height, I’m definitely better than him in other aspects.
“But even if we continue, there’s no other thing that can be used as a benchmark. Muttsurini’s appearance just now is just some coincidence.”
“If there’s some way for us to compete under the same conditions…”
U~n. We started to think.
“…What are you talking about?”
At this moment, Muttsurini joins in the conversation.
“Ahh, Muttsurini. Actually—”
~Explaining the situation to Muttsurini~
“Because of this, I'd like to prove that I have an iron-like calmness.”
Muttsurini nodded once he heard my explanation.
“…If that’s the case, I can help you guys.”
“Eh? Help us?”
“…I’ll prepare traps to agitate you two. The winner can be decided through this.”
I think it’ll be really tiring to set up those traps.
“(Nods)…I always wanted to try doing that.”
Muttsurini nodded casually.
If Muttsurini’s setting the traps for us, there won’t be any unfair circumstances. This might be the perfect chance to decide the winner between Yuuji and me.
“Alright, I won’t hold back then—time for a showdown, Yuuji!”
“Keh, just what I want!”
“You two, really…”
And so, our weird contest began like this.
Yuuji and I are in front of a certain person’s house that has the words ‘Tsuchiya’ written on the door.
“Are you ready, Yuuji?”
“That’s my line, Akihisa.”
Yuuji and I said to each other as we faced the house.
This house has a nice garden and a large entrance gate. There will be an activity happening in this model-like house.
“…Let’s confirm the rules first.”
Muttsurini tells us the rules of the match in front of the gate.
The rules in this test of calmness game are rather simple.
No matter what happens, we have to remain calm.
If we can’t remain calm, we will have to accept punishment.
These are the only two rules. In other words, we just need to keep calm. It’s that simple.
“…Hideyoshi will be in another room to decide whether you’re out.”
Since Hideyoshi’s the judge here, there’s nothing to complain about. We’ll decide whether Yuuji or my mental capacity is more mature through this match then.
“…On a side note.”
“…The punishment game is Himeji’s cooking.”
Yuuji and my heart suddenly raced.
“—Cookies made by me, copied from her recipe.”
““DON’T SCARE US LIKE THAT!!””
Muttsurini’s bad joke caused Yuuji and me to yell back. At this moment—
“Akihisa, Yuuji, out.”
Hideyoshi’s voice can be heard from somewhere.
“…Once the match starts, you will have to take the punishment game once you hear that line.”
So the joke just now was to reaffirm the rules, which means it doesn’t count. Well, I just made a retort because I knew this.”
“…Then, let’s begin.”
Muttsurini walks off. Then, we’re going for real now. Got to stay calm here!
“...I’ll bring you to the garden.”
“Eh? Not the house?”
After nodding, Muttsurini walks from the gate to the garden. Yuuji and I follow him.
Muttsurini’s garden is rather large. It has a flower bed and a little vegetable farm.
“Heh~ there are tomatos here.”
“Those are cucumbers, right? There seems to be potatoes here too.”
“…That’s my dad’s hobby.”
We chatted away as we moved around the outside of the house. There seem to be asparagus or green peppers or something like that at the inner garden too. A family vegetable farm? I might want to start one in my house. Looks like it might be useful when I’m in a pinch.
“…Right opposite is a storeroom or garage-like place.”
“Still rather normal up till here.”
“…This is a normal house after all.”
The term normal cause me to want to object, but I manage to hold back. I’ll forbid myself from saying such things as I might be deemed out if I even do something like this.
Yuuji probably thinks of this as he swallows the urge to speak while he walks beside me. Well, I feel that it’s fine to express my views normally, but I better be careful.
“…Time to enter the house then.”
We’re about to enter the house now. So there are no traps in the garden.
“I thought that there would be some traps outside…”
“Me too. That’s why I’ve been on my guard.”
Muttsurini said after hearing our replies.
“Don’t tell me you already prepared a trap once we open the entrance door even though you say so, right? Like putting a rice scoop at the door to replace a shoehorn or using pot holders to replace slippers or something like that.”
“…I won’t do such a thing.”
Muttsurini said with a surprised tone as he opened the entrance door.
“…What’s going on?”
Yuuji and I desperately try to bite out lips to hold back on the comments.
“…I’ll bring you to check my house out.”
Muttsurini ignores our response, calmly removes his shoes and uses the scoop ladle to put on the slippers. I won’t say anything…I won’t say anything here!
“Let’s go, Akihisa.”
Yuuji and I remove our shoes, put on the pot holders and slippers before following Muttsurini from behind. There’s even a spoon beside the rice scoop with the words ‘for leather shoes use’, but of course, I ignore it.
Muttsurini walks up the stairs. Looks like he intends to introduce the second level.
“What’s on the second level?”
“…Me and my older brothers’ room.”
Speaking of which, I think Muttsurini has siblings. I remember two are older than him, and one is younger.
“It’s great to have older brothers. I’m so envious.”
“What are you saying? Don’t you have a sister too?”
“That’s…a little different…”
She’s completely different from those sisters with common sense.
“…This is my oldest brother’s room.”
The doorplate on the door has the words ‘Souta’s room’.”
“…Then, the second brother’s room.”
There’s a similar doorplate on it as before, and the words written on it are ‘Youta’s room’.”
“…And this is my room.”
This time, the door has the doorplate ‘Muttsurini’s room’ written on it.
I barely managed to hold back the urge to react.
A nick…name…in his house, using a nickname in school…will his mother even say to him ‘Muttsurini, it’s time to eat’…!?
We hold our breaths to hang on. Muttsurini sees us in such a state, and then continues,
“…And finally, my little sister’s room.”
And then, Muttsurini points to the innermost room.
The doorplate on the door reads—‘Tsuchiya’s room’.
““THE FAMILY NAME!?””
WHY A FAMILY NAME NOW!? WHY CALL HER BY THE FAMILY NAME WHEN THEY’RE ALL OF THE SAME FAMILY? WILL HIS MOTHER SAY ‘TSUCHIYA, IT’S TIME TO EAT’ TO HER!?
“Akihisa, Yuuji. Out.”
Hideyoshi’s voice reached our ears. Damn it! The 4-part attack’s too despicable! Nobody can even endure it!
“Then, you two have to take the punishment game.”
Hideyoshi suddenly appeared and threw some crumbles into our mouths.
The warm fragrance of death spread in our mouths.
The pain and bitterness danced as if the death god raised a party deep inside our throats.
“Mu, muu…it’s already this powerful even though it wasn’t her who made this, huh…”
The taste isn’t as intense, but it’s still spicy! As expected of Himeji-san’s recipe!
“Then, continue to do your best, you two.”
Hideyoshi left these words and went off. He’s probably watching us through a screen in a certain room.
“…Are you alright?”
“No, I’m definitely not alright at all…”
“One hit nearly took my consciousness away…”
I thought my tolerance improved recently, but something that’s hard to swallow is still hard to swallow, and the proof is the abnormal pain in my mouth.
“…How about we go downstairs to have a drink?”
A drink? That’s one very good idea to us right now.”
“Whew, we’re saved.”
We follow Muttsurini down the stairs. We pass by the living room and step into the kitchen. There’s already a guy there.
“Nn? Ah, hello there.”
On seeing us, the guy showed a welcoming smile.
He has short straight hair, a tall lanky body, and looks like a university student. He’s probably one of Muttsurini’s two brothers.
““Hello. Please excuse us””
Yuuji and I greeted with a normal bow. Most likely, not even the brothers will be involved in this.
“Mom and dad aren’t at home, so you can enjoy yourself here and treat this as your own house—but since we’re all men, such words are unnecessary, right?”
“Eh? Your parents aren’t at home?”
Too bad. I wanted to see what Muttsurini’s parents are like.
“They went out to attend a legal meeting. I shouldn’t be staying here as well, but this kid said that he’s bringing friends here to do something interesting, so I’m a little interested here.”
The brother said as he ruffles Muttsurini’s head.
“…Sou-nii, it hurts.”
“Ahh, sorry there.”
Muttsurini grumbled, and his brother apologized while taking his arm back. Heh~ looks like Muttsurini’s brother really adores him.
“…I’ve brought the tea.”
Muttsurini said as he placed a plastic bottle of tea and three glasses.
“Come to think of it, I also bought a cake. Once the tea is ready, I’ll call you guys.”
““Thank you very much.””
Yuuji and I thanked him, and we walk up to the second level again. He’s really a good brother. I think this might be the one thing I should be reacting to most today, about how Muttsurini actually has such a brother.
“…My room’s very messy.”
Muttsurini said as he opened the door to his room. However, the room’s rather neat, unlike what he said just now.
“Heh~ so your room’s like this, Muttsurini.”
“There sure are a lot of cameras.”
There are lots of gadgets like digital cameras and voices recorders on the shelves. These are all equipment for interests and practicality.
“The bookshelf—I see.”
“That's a lot of unnatural dictionaries and encyclopedias.”
“…Nothing unnatural there.”
There are likely all sorts of completely different books under the pompous looking covers.
“Hey Muttsurini, can I check out the books on that shelf—”
“…Ignore that. Let’s spend the time watching DVD.”
Muttsurini interrupted me as he switched on the television power to start the DVD.
“There’s no need to hide it from us now.”
“Well, Muttsurini has always been like this.”
“…I don’t understand what are you talking about.”
“Yeah yeah. Eh, Muttsurini, can we have tea now?”
Yuuji poured tea into everyone’s cups, and Muttsurini started the DVD playback.
At this moment, I look around the room, and see a round symbol on the wall calendar with a note over there,
“14th September, A-chan’s photo album trade.”
Whose photo album? I’m a little curious.
As I’m thinking about this, a voice came from the TV.
“(BEEP)—And now, the first volume of practical knowledge that can be used the next day.”
The voice of the narrator onee-san’s spoke the title code. Heh~ practical knowledge that can be used? What will it teach us?
“Sugawa Ryo’s lecture on how to skillfully reject girls.”
The moment we heard this, Yuuji and I desperately pressed onto the stop button on the remote.
“Ha, hahaha…Muttsurini. It’s rare for us to come here, so let’s not watch DVD, okay?”
“Ye, yeah, let’s do something different.”
Muttsurini nodded in agreement, so we again returned back to our seats. That was close…
“Oh yeah, it doesn’t look like you have any manga around, Muttsurini.”
“That’s true. I didn’t see them.”
“…I’ll occasionally borrow them from my brothers.”
“Oh yeah. Brothers can borrow things from each other.”
“That’s the benefit of having brothers.”
“Fuun, I see~”
“So that’s why~”
“(BEEP) Well, no matter how close we are, the fact is that the other party will still be hurt if she can’t go out with me, so—”
“Akihisa, Yuuji, out.”
THAT’S TOO DESPICABLE! WHO CAN EVEN WATCH A FILM ABOUT SUGAWA-KUN TALKING ABOUT THE ‘DIFFICULTIES OF BEING A POPULAR GUY’ WITH SUCH A SERIOUS FACE CALMLY!!!?
We desperately endure the hell that appeared in our mouths again, and we turn to Muttsurini.
“Muttsurini, let’s not watch this DVD. No, can you please don’t play it.”
“Please, Muttsurini. I’ll just laugh when I see Sugawa look that serious.”
Muttsurini nodded and moved his hand away from the remote. That’s great…I’ll probably cross the Sanzu river if this film continues to play.
“…In that case, how about we watch some other DVDs?”
“Ah, no, well…”
“I, I’m fine with it. If we need to ehar—h, hey, how about we play CDs?”
Yuuji suggested and reached for the CD rack. Nice going, Yuuji!
“…If it’s CD, I only have classical music.”
I suppose I can react to Muttsurini’s words here, right? Anyway, better to ignore it for now.
“No no no. Classical music’s good, right, Yuuji?”
“Ye, yeah. Classical music’s the best.”
“…Since you say so, I’ll play it.”
Muttsurini gets up to press the play button on the CD player.
The moment he did that, the speaker let out solemn music.
“Class 2-B’s Nemoto Kyouji will now begin with the poem reciting again.”
And there’s some unnecessary voice that came with the melody of the music.
“Muttsurini, let’s not listen to the CD then. I don’t actually understand classical music.”
“Yeah. To be honest, I don’t really like classical music.”
Muttsurini stops the CD from playing. Why is Nemoto-kun helping out? Did he help to take revenge on us because his hatred of us is stronger?
“Oh yeah, Muttsurini. Can I borrow your toilet?”
“Ah, me too.”
I really feel like going to the toilet since it seems I drank too much tea to wash away the taste in my mouth.
“…Once you walk out of the room, the toilet’s on the right.”
Muttsurini said, and Yuuji and I leave the room to head to the toilet.
“…Don’t tell me there might be a trap here…?”
As we arrived in front of the toilet, Yuuji raised this question to me. It, it’s very likely!
“…You first, Yuuji.”
“No, Akihisa, you first.’
We continue to show our graciousness as we humbly let each other. Can’t be helped. In that case,
I chose rock, Yuuji chose paper.
“Then, you first, Akihisa.”
I lost in janken, so I can only enter the toilet with a realization of death. What kind of trap is in here…
“…Arre? Looks normal…”
I cautiously look around the small personal space, but there’s nothing really eyecatching. I can see that it’s a normal, ordinary toilet.
“Am I thinking too much?”
It’s a flush type toilet, there’s a deodorant and a towel beside it, and there’s a bidet. Even the bidet installed on the wall is normal. There are three switches on the remote. ‘Stop’, ‘butt’ and ‘wash forward’. There’s nothing weird at all.
I thought everything was normal, but it seems like there’s something weird. What the heck?
I again inspect what I saw. That’s a remote for the bidet, and there are three switches on them. On looking closely, I found that they are ‘Stop’, ‘butt’ and ‘video’
I immediately hold my breath to control the urge to react.
A video…it means we can watch a video when we use the toilet? Normally speaking, it should be ‘bidet’, right?
I strongly hold back the urge to react to remain calm. Calm down, calm down, hang in there…do I want to taste that hell again…!?
I spend several seconds trying to convince myself. Hideyoshi didn’t call me out, and I finally managed to hang on. This is great, really great!
I adjust my breathing and open the bathroom door. Unknowingly, the urge to go to the toilet vanished.
“Oh, Akihisa, how’s the situation?”
“Un, no traps at all.”
I gave a natural expression as I lied. It’s a rare chance, so I should let Yuuji taste my suffering.
“Really? That’s good.”
Yuuji enters the bathroom in a relaxed manner, perhaps because I just came out safely. Idiot! It’s because I’m mentally strong that I’m safe.
I’m a little concerned about the outcome, so I remain there for several seconds.
Yuuji’s roar entered my ears as he was declared out.
~Executing punishment game~
“Damn…my tongue’s all numb now…”
“Fufu. That’s too sad, Yuuji. That sort of thing can actually shake you up. Isn’t that kind of gimmick common?”
“Un? You mean you were able to remain calm even after noticing what’s crucial?”
Looks like Yuuji thought that I didn’t notice the gimmick about the bide(o) and was able to remain calm. Really, I’ll be troubled if he looks down on me like that.
“Of course I can remain calm. Everyone definitely thought about the gimmick regarding bide(o), right?”
“I see, so you didn’t notice it as expected.”
Yuuji leads me back into the bathroom. What’s wrong?
“Read the English translation under the switch.”
I follow what Yuuji told me and carefully read the ‘video’ part. What’s underneath is…
“—The spelling’s wrong.”
Gu…uu…uu…! Are you kidding…! Bideo…that’s something even I can’t spell wrong here!!!
“DAMN IT!!!!! YUUJI, WHY DID YOU DO SUCH UNNECESSARY THINGS!?”
“Serves you right.”
Because of this, the feeling in my mouth starts to vanish.
“You guys are really slow.”
When we returned to Muttsurini’s room, Minami’s sitting there calmly for some reason.
Of course, both Yuuji and I didn’t comment on why Minami’s here. Looking at the current situation, I’ll say it’s best not to take unnecessary risks.
“No, nothing special.”
“Just that we wasted some time.”
I said as I sat down beside Minami, while Yuuji sat down beside Muttsurini.
“Then, since Shimada’s here, the four of us might as well—ugh!”
As he spoke halfway, Yuuji suddenly lowered his head as his shoulders trembled. What? What kind of attack is it now?
“What’s with Sakamoto, Aki?”
“Un. Who knows—ugh!!”
Minami turned around to look at me, and I’m speechless as well. Ugh…too, too despicable!
“What’s wrong,. Aki?”
“No, nothing…nothing at all. If possible, can you please look away to the other side, Minami…?”
Minami, who looked over here, has her breasts increased greatly in size.
Impossible…Minami, the size is too impossible here…
We continue to endure the urge to react loudly to it, and in response to us being like this, Minami launches another attack.
“Un? Wha, what?”
“You guys are looking at my breasts again, right?”
Yuuji and I lower our lifted heads.
Guu…I can’t imagine…Minami actually used her own breasts as a joke…this planning is way too serious…
“Speaking of which, my shoulders ache for some reason~”
Minami shook the breasts (something that looked like them) as she put her hands on her shoulders.
Someone…save…me…! I don’t feel that I can hang on for much longer…
As we hold our breaths to endure—
“Well, ahaha, I’m just joking here.”
Minami laughed, seemingly trying to shake off this tense atmosphere.
And then, she smiles and continues,
“Oh yeah, do you guys know?”
“…I’m…actually rather hurt here…”
““THEN DON’T DO SUCH THINGS!!!””
“Akihisa, Yuuji, out.”
What’s with this plan? Why is everyone so serious? They’re going to harm us even if it means sacrificing themselves?
“Well then, Aki, Sakamoto, do your best~”
Minami waved her hand as she left the room—and Hideyoshi seems to come in as a substitution with the cookies from hell.
“What became of this plan…”
“Why did even Minami join in so enthusiastically…”
After the tough battle against the invader of tastes, the room now has Muttsurini, Yuuji and me.
“…Don’t mind the details.”
Details…to put it, it’s pointless to think about such things, so I don’t really mind.
“But we’re lucky that Hideyoshi’s the assistant in the punishment, so we’re saved there.”
Yuuji poured another glass of tea as he said. That’s true,
“If Hideyoshi’s to do an impersonation, I can’t possibly remain calm.”
“Yeah. It’s a foul if that guy gets in on the action.
Hahaha. Yuuji and I look at each other as we laugh.
“Then, let’s have both of you enjoy my impersonations.”
I really regret it now. It would be fine if we hadn’t said such unnecessary things.
“First, we’ll start with understanding.”
Hideyoshi puts his hand in front of his chest and gets ready to impersonate.
“Fumitzuki Gakuen’s teacher—‘The Ironman who learns the otaku culture to understand what young men think, but learns the wrong thing for his learning was incomplete—Nishimura-sensei.’”
This…how is it possible to understand it!?
Silence in the room.
“‘…Therefore, I’m…a tsundere’.”
We didn’t manage to endure it.
We started giggling, but Hideyoshi doesn’t seem to mind our reaction as he continues to perform.
“Then, the next will also be a teacher from Fumitzuki Gakuen ‘What the talented woman who’s the level head—Takahashi-sensei will definitely not say’.”
If it’s something she definitely won’t say, it won’t be considered in impersonation, right?
“‘Who decided that one person can only buy one pack!’”
We again couldn’t endure it.
“Then, for the last person.”
We exploded into laughter twice, and Hideyoshi still intends to continue. Is this a skit? This impersonation is part of drama to Hideyoshi, so that’s why he’s so serious, right?
“Quoting Fumitzuki Gakuen’s student ‘What Class 2-F male student—Kinoshita Hideyoshi definitely won’t say’.”
After saying that, Hideyoshi paused.
“‘Actually, I hate drama the most.’”
We managed to endure it.
“Un? Muu…you, you two, why aren’t you laughing?”
“Tha, that’s because, I’d said that I was to make an impersonation, but I impersonated myself! Isn’t that weird normally? It’s weird, right, Yuuji, Akihisa?”
“Wh, why are you showing such expressions? It’s funny, right? You’re already about to lose it, right?”
“You, YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST!”
Hideyoshi’s so embarrassed that he ran out of the room at full speed.
“OUT! OUT! YUUJI AND AKIHISA LAUGHED TWICE! THEY HAVE TO TAKE DOUBLE PUNISHMENT!!”
But it seems that he does remember about the punishment game well.
It doesn’t seem like Hideyoshi wants to appear in front of us as Minami became the one in charge of carrying out the punishment. After a while, we finally regain consciousness, and on first glance, we’re chatting away with each other rather heartily.
“Eh? Muttsurini, you never played that game before?”
“Too bad. That game’s really interesting.”
“I got addicted to that game. It’s really interesting.”
“…Speaking of which, I don’t even have a console.”
“Come over to my house next time. You’ll definitely get addicted.”
“I was fooled by Akihisa the last time as well, so I ended up buying the console as well.”
“Even though you say so, you want to drag Muttsurini down as well, right, Yuuji?”
“Well, it was rather fun anyway.”
The three of us continue to chat away like this calmly. Un un, a peaceful atmosphere is finally—
The moment Muttsurini reached out for the tea, Yuuji and I got into battle position. Wha, what…isn’t he going to start some form of trap? That’s really misleading.
Yuuji and I immediately relax and regain our usual composure.
“No, it’s nothing, Muttsurini. I just saw a little strange earthbound spirit.”
“Yeah, don’t mind, Muttsurini.”
“…I’ll be worried if that’s the case.”
“…This isn’t funny.”
We laughed and joked around. No no, sometimes, things like this are—
“(BEEP) An important message from the popular king—Sugawa Ryo.”
Too despicable…attacking when we’re slightly careles…
“Mu, Muttsurini, hand the remote over to me now.”
“I can’t stand it if my stomach gets attacked again.”
This DVD is way too dangerous. I don’t know what will happen if we don’t hurry up and get the remote back.
“Actually, I’m not really that popular…”
“HAND IT OVER, MUTTSURINI!!”
“THA, THAT’S RIGHT! IF YOU DON’T HURRY, WE’LL LATER—”
“Akihisa, Yuuji, out.”
~Executing punishment game.
“Since you’re not willing to hand the remote over, I just have to confiscate the disc.”
“My body won’t be able to take it if I continue to watch such things…”
I drag my body that’s trembling from the poison and take the disc out from the DVD player. We won’t be watching Sugawa-kun’s video again.
“Speaking of which, you really worked hard for this plan.”
“Leaving aside us, even Sugawa, Hideyoshi and Shimada are all really serious.”
Really, everyone, there’s a limit to having fun here, right? Minami for example used something she depreciates herself over without worry. Does she really want us to suffer punishment?
I wondered as I subconsciously look over to where Minami sat. At this moment—
I found something dropped there. What is it?
I take that thing up to confirm. Eh, this is…
Breast pad (right)
Why…did she drop such a thing…if she say that she’s hurt…she shouldn’t drop such a thing here…
“Akihisa, why are you suddenly so quiet and trembling?”
“N, no, it’s nothing at all.”
“Really? Then—oi, Muttsurini, what disc are you going to play now?”
“…This DVD (pulls out)”
Muttsurini throws the DVD case over to Yuuji.
“(Pats) Un? What’s this? ‘Discuss what you like about the person you love, volume 1’? Oi, this,”
“(BEEP)…Class 2-A Kirishima Shouko, please talk about the person you like.”
Yuuji immediately showed an expressionless look. Most likely, he closed his heart to defend himself.
“…I like his eyes. Those gentle eyes that look stern but will protect others.
…I like his voice. The powerful and boisterous voice that can be heard anywhere.
…I like his personality, how he acts for the sake of others even as he suffers.”
“KILL ME!! JUST KILL ME ALREADY!!!”
Yuuji couldn’t endure it as he roared out. Even couples who are formally going out will find it hard to endure this once they hear each other talk serious about what they like about each other. Yuuji here is also dishonest, and he’s not going out with Kirishima-san, so it’s impossible for him to hang on.
Hideyoshi brought the cookies over, and Yuuji chewed on the cookies with determination.
“Damn it…this video’s completely aimed at me! This goes against the premise of me having the same conditions as Akihisa…”
Yuuji swayed as he supported his body.
During this time, Muttsurini changes the DVD and picks up the remote. The label on the disc case is ‘Discuss what you like about the person you love, volume 2’.
“Oi, wait! Ho—”
Before Yuuji could even stop him, Muttsurini pressed the button.
“(BEEP)…Class 2-A Kubo Toshimitsu, please talk about the person you like.”
This unexpected choice of person caused me to doubt my eyes for a moment.
“The person I like is very outgoing and friendly. That person’s dull-wittedness is very cute, and there’s a healing feeling when I’m with that person. Also, that person who show amazing mobility when in a pinch.”
On the screen, Kubo-kun looked serious as he talked about the person he likes. Un, I was really shocked when Kubo-kun appeared, but I don’t think that’s enough to shock me, right?
“—He, is such a charming person.”
“AHAHAHAHA!! THA, THAT’S TOO SNEAKY, KUBO-KUN! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ‘HIM’? THAT KUBO-KUN ACTUALLY PRETENDED TO SAY THAT HE LIKES A GUY!”
This joke is really that funny, but Yuuji isn’t laughing for some reason.
“…I can’t laugh at that…”
“……I’m reflecting over it a little.”
I’m rolling on the floor in laughter, but Yuuji and Muttsurini muttered with bitter expressions.
After the attacks of the DVD, we finally managed to have a peaceful time.
“I’m back. I’m so tired~”
“I’m back. Ah, I’m so hungry.”
At this moment, the voice of a lively girl and a lazy guy rang. So Muttsurini’s other brother and sister came back too? In other words, the 4 siblings, including the two brothers and one sister are all back.
“You really have a lot of siblings, Muttsurini.”
“It’s really amazing to have 4 siblings.”
“…My parents wanted a daughter.”
“Ah, the first three are all sons.”
“So their wish was granted when the fourth one was born, right?”
“…My parents said that if they gave birth to a boy the fourth time, they would give up.”
“In that case, your parents must be happy when your sister was born.”
“They normally favor her, right?”
“…No, not at all.”
“Really? I thought your sister would be a calm princess.”
Maybe it’s because we’re with the quiet Muttsurini for so long that I had an impression of his sister beforehand.
“…Maybe it’s because of the many brothers that she’s very outgoing.”
“Does she take part in club activities?”
“…My oldest brother plays basketball, my second brother plays soccer, and my little sister plays tennis.”
“Amazing, seems like you have a sporty family.”
The voice I heard just now was rather energetic, so she should be a rather energetic little sister.
“How did you end up like this in such an environment…”
“No, in a certain way, ero is an extension of sports, so Muttsurini’s existence in his family is still logical.”
“…I have no idea what you guys are talking about at all.”
“I say, it’s useless to pretend otherwise in front of us now.”
“I don’t think it’s just us; everyone in the school knows about this.”
““Aren’t you even aware of it at all…””
Did Muttsurini think that he could hide it from everyone?
With these feelings, we continue to chat
“Speaking of which, there are no other traps now, right?”
“…Basically used them all.”
“Really? I can finally relax now.”
“Ever since the middle of the contest between Akihisa and me, we had no idea who was the winner.”
“Instead of a contest, it’s more like a struggle to live.”
“Yeah, thanks to that punishment game.”
Yuuji and I look at each other and grin.
“Now I’m hungry after hearing that there are no traps.”
“…Let’s go downstairs.”
“Oh yeah, Muttsurini’s brother said that he was going to prepare snacks for us.”
Nice timing. I just wanted to meet the other brother and sister.
We get up and head to the living room.
“Well, there are a lot of traps, but there’s nothing that really agitated us.”
“Un un. I think there’s ample proof of how strong we are mentally.”
“…But you had to do many punishment games.”
““That’s just an imagination.””
We said as we open the door to the living room.
And then, what appears in front of us is—
The pale limp bodies of Muttsurini’s siblings and a cookie that was eaten. D, don’t tell me that cookie is…
Muttsurini ran over to the three of them to check on them.
“…They’re not breathing.”
““SOMEONE CALL THE AMBULANCE!!””
In the end, this is the day we were most shaken up.
Special Bulletin: Ironfist-sensei's Life Counseling Chatroom
Ironman-sensei: This time, we're going to go about doing the correct method of extracting information.
What does it mean to extract information?
|There are many countless disasters in the world recently. Discard unnecessary information from the vast amount of information you can't handle. Do not try to understand what the reports are about. Just remember the necessary information. This is the so-called information extraction I'm talking about.|
Ironman-sensei: What Sugawa did the last time was not information extraction, but manipulating the information through parts. The important thing is to not change the content of the information and keep what you find important or interesting. Do you two understand?
Yoshii Akihisa-kun + Tamano Miki-san: Yes! I'll try it out!
|Yoshii Akihisa's Chosen Reports|| Also, our reporter had interviewed the other students who took part in this experiment, only to get negative feedback like “I got messed around hard. I had enough of this.” and “I don’t want to experience such a thing. That damned old granny’s definitely up to no good no matter what she does.” It seemed that just like how there are two opposing sides on the view of fortune telling, there are two opposing sides in regards to predicting the appearances of the children. Also, the aforementioned children-sized summoned beasts are just modifications of the summoners’ characteristics, and the children’s growth environments and social relationships are not considered. As for this, due to the fact that technology isn’t at that level yet, it wouldn’t be easy to count in other factors.
Class 2-F’s grades are improving.
According to rumors, class 2-F, hailed the number 1 worst class in the school, has been improving their grades recently. The general consensus is that part of the reason is due to the continual summoning wars helping F class to improve their grades. Class rep Sakamoto Yuuji-shi and Yoshii Akihisa-shi
have made huge improvements, and even Tsuchiya Kouta-shi and Sugawa Ryo-shi’s grades have improved by a little.
Home Economics Classroom exploded. Luckily, no one was hurt.
The Home Economics Room, which was opened for students to prepare their refreshments for club activities, exploded for unknown reasons. According to Himeji Mizuki-san, who was inside the classroom, “It suddenly exploded once I added Nitric acid, Sulfuric Acid and Glycerine last when I was making cookies.”
On the other hand, in regards to the news that the Home Economics Classroom has to be closed,
Fight against pressure in current society.
Works extremely well against stomachaches and vomiting!
~All-powerful gastrointestinal drug~
Please purchase from the Chemistry Department.
Proven to be unauthorized by the Government.
From the school to the station,
The ultimate perfect edition map to all the alleys!
The piping hot ramen in the shopping street alley is the latest craze!
First Issue, 150 yen.
|Tamano Miki's Chosen Reports||boys can have babies with each other|
Me and Quarrels and Unbelievable Idiots
“Yuuji, you’ll be late for the opening ceremony if you don’t go out now, you know?”
Mom said as she saw me relaxing in the living room.
It’s now 8.30am. Considering the distance from my house to Fumitzuki Gakuen, I should be able to barely make it to the opening ceremony at nine.
“It’s embarrassing if you’re late for the opening ceremony, you know?”
She had been nagging me over and over again, yet mom’s voice had merely a tinge of fatigue.
Middle school life was over. From today onward, my new life in high school will begin. Actually, I don’t want to be late.
“Yuuji, are you listening?”
It’s just that there was a very high chance that I’ll meet that troublesome person if I left at this time. I’m wearing time down to avoid trouble.
“Really…having such an attitude even at the opening ceremony…”
Speaking of which, I had already tried to avoid going to the same school as that person before I actually said something, so I didn’t tell anyone other than the teachers which school I wanted to go to. But why…
“It’s rare for this okaa-san to tell Shouko-chan Yuuji’s choice of school so that you two can go to the same school together…”
“SO IT’S YOU—!!!”
“?? What’s the matter, Yuuji?”
Mom actually showed a ridiculous face without any signs of remorse. What do you mean by ‘what’s the matter’! Don’t just tell anyone else my secret!
“Also, Yuuji. How can you call okaa-san ‘you’?”
“Un? Ah, is that so…sorry, mom. I just blurted it out.”
“People nearby will think that we’re a couple, you know?”
“IT’S TOO EARLY FOR ME TO GET MARRIED AND YOU’RE MARRIED TO DAD AND WE’VE BEEN GETTING ALONG WITH THE NEIGHBOURS FOR MORE THAN 10 YEARS SO EVERYONE KNOWS WHO THE COUPLE IS AND ALSO ANYONE CAN TELL THAT THERE’S A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN ME AND MY MOM AND SPEAKING OF WHICH WE ARE REALLY BLOOD-RELATED HERE—!”
“Amazing, Yuuji. Impressive lung capacity.”
“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!”
I seemed to hear my nerves been worn out like a chopping board being scratched. My body really can’t take this situation that I have to handle so early in the morning…
I looked up to see the time, and 5 minutes passed. It’s about time.
“Then, I’ll slowly…”
I got up from the sofa.
I used up enough time. Time to go to school.
“Oh yeah, Yuuji. What time should okaa-san leave?”
I was stopped by this sudden question. To be honest, this mom of mine who was like a gathering of airheads will be troublesome if she comes along. I’ll just make up a lie here.
“Fumitzuki Gakuen’s opening ceremony doesn't allow for parents to come in.”
“Oh, is that so? What a pity~”
I started to worry about this mom of mine who doesn’t suspect others.
“Then, okaa-san will wear a uniform.”
And then, this mom of mine who could think of such an idea worries me even more.
“THINK OF YOUR AGE! IT’S OBVIOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE HERE, RIGHT!?”
“Yeah~I can definitely go in if I’m younger by two years.”
“2 YEARS!? YOU MISSED OUT ON AN EXTRA ZERO!”
“Really…you’re a man, Yuuji. Don’t worry about such a trivial thing. I just made a mistake in the number.
“IT’S JUST A MISTAKE, BUT THE MISTAKE IS THE DIGIT HERE!”
This is really a shameless mistake. I couldn’t help but sigh. Mom seemed to think of something and clapped her hands to say.
“Oh yes, Yuuji. Don’t buy any snacks on the way home, alright?”
Don’t buy snacks? What does she mean—wait, don’t tell me,
“Mom. Are you thinking of cooking again?”
“Yes. I want to make a few dishes to celebrate.”
Mom’s face showed a happy smile. No way. I understand that intention, but…
“Allow me to ask, what are you intending to make?”
“Oh yes, I went shopping yesterday, and the thing that’s similar to sea urchin is extremely cheap.”
“CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT THAT ‘SIMILAR’ THING!? I CAN’T TELL WHETHER IT’S EDIBLE OR NOT!”
It’s okay if it’s chestnut, and kiwi is still acceptable, but I can’t agree if it’s a scrubbing brush…!
“And also, it came with detergent for washing dishes.”
“AND IT’S REALLY THE LAST ONE—!”
Looks like I have to clear up the cooking that will shock the whole world after school when I get home.
“Haa…anyway, I’m going to school now.”
“Okay, take care.”
I grabbed my bag, got up, and walked to the corridor.
“Say hi to Shouko-chan for me.”
I didn’t answer those words before I stepped out of the house.
Fumitzuki Gakuen is built on a slope. No, it’s more like a hill. The slope steepness is different for each path chosen, and on this one, we have to get off our bicycles to go up. It’ll be a lot easier to go back, however,
It’ll be dangerous if the cyclist doesn’t brake to slow down. Thus, the energy used to go up the slope in the morning will all be for naught when the bicycle has to keep braking and creating friction when going down. The energy will be all wasted.
“Do I have to climb up every day…”
I’m walking up to school, so I’m not having it as tough as the people riding the bicycles. However, I’m rather bothered when I think about the future. What in the world was the school committee thinking, choosing such a place?
“Oh yeah, the reason is just that simple.”
It’s either because the land price is cheap or that it’s easier to ensure a large land. This place is closer to the residential streets, but a lot further from the city. One can reach the outskirts if he goes off in the opposite direction, so there won’t be any competition for land.
“The scenery is fine though.”
I stopped to look around. Below me, I could see two sceneries that unfolded in front of me, the city I know of and the outskirts leading to the unknown road.
As expected of an Opening Ceremony, most of the students have already arrived at school. I can’t see any students climbing up this slope behind me. Also, it’s obvious why I chose to come to school at such a time.
There were still 5 minutes till the Opening Ceremony. I heard that everyone will be gathered at the sports hall and leave the class sorting aside first. Once the Ceremony’s over, everyone will then be assigned to their classes.
I might as well be late since I’m going to hear such stupid nonsense. I thought as I climb up the slope leading to the school gate.
And then, just when I was about to enter the school compound, I heard a faint voice.
Immediately, my mouth feels bitter. I was relieved that I didn’t see her at my house. So, she’s been waiting here…
I forcefully ignored those words and continued on.
“…My breasts have grown to size C.”
My eyes saw stars as I knocked into the telegraph pole.
“…Yuuji. Is your head alright?”
“I’LL RETURN THOSE WORDS RIGHT BACK AT YOU!!!”
I roared at my worried looking childhood friend. It’s like we had such a conversation when we were young!
It can’t be helped. I can only give up on ignoring Shouko and face her.
“Shouko. We promised before about what you should do when we’re going to the same school, right? Don’t talk to me in school.”
“…But it’s still outside the school.”
“Then, I’ll correct that. Don’t talk to me on the streets too.”
“..That’s too much.”
Even I don’t understand why I want to keep my distance from her. Perhaps somewhere inside my heart, I want to abandon that embarrassing past of mine.
“…I want to talk to you, Yuuji.”
Shouko has never changed her attitude about this worthless me ever since grade school—or rather, she’s been treating me better.
“…Yuuji, what should I do to make you willing to talk to me?”
Ever since that incident 5 years ago, I consciously realized that I have to change my lifestyle in the future. I tried to argue, train myself and get away from studies. The opinions of the people around me went from ‘prodigy’ to ‘problematic’. But deep inside my heart, ever since 5 years ago, nothing has changed at all.
“…Yuuji, does being with me hurts you?”
I’m immediately left speechless.
Even as I continued to push her aside, this girl still looked over at me with innocent eyes. No matter how much I hate myself, she always said that she likes me. To me, that’s…really, really painful.
“…Yuuji, you hate yourself, right…?”
I can’t answer.
However, Shouko suddenly says something weird.
“…I’ll be patient.”
Patient? What about it?
“…I’ll be patient with you until you’re willing to be with me, Yuuji.”
I’m really amazed by those words that were said inadvertently, and thinks,
(This girl is, really mature… compared to me…)
The person she likes is treating her so coldly; and yet she is not angry but thinking about others. If this is not maturity, I don’t know what is.
(Compared to her, I’m…)
My heart is filled with darkness.
Her worry seems to reveal my immaturity, and I feel even more damned…this is embarrassing.
Shouko ignores my self-loathing and continues,
“…I’ll be patient, so—”
“—I want to kiss you.”
“……(ACK ACK ACK)!!!”
I’m being too foolish. My opinion on this girl really changed this moment.
“…Don’t ignore me.”
I continued to walk fast in front, and Shouko’s complaining followed behind me. Ahh, this is annoying.
How about if I run off like this? Just when I was thinking about that, someone suddenly called out.
“We, well, that student over there.”
It’s a voice I never heard of before. Most likely, it’s a student who’s coming to the same Opening Ceremony as us. From the sound of it, he sounds like a decent guy. He must be an idiot who’s trying to be kind after seeing me ignore Shouko.
How troublesome. I might as well ignore this guy as well.
I increase my pace again. It seem that Shouko has given up halfway as there are no movements at all.
“That’s weird. Did he not hear me?”
I have no idea who continues to yap without backing away.
Never mind. I’ll just ignore him.
“Oi—the student over there—”
Anyway, I’ll just ignore him.
“Oi— oi—do you hear me—?”
I’ll still ignore him.
“Uu…this is troublesome…are his ears not working well…?”
It seems that he has finally given up. This weird battle of ignoring ends with the opposing stranger giving up.
How annoying. I sighed slightly and turned my gaze slightly to see the owner of the voice.
Standing over there was a male student of the same age, over 165cm, messy out-of-bed hair, and has an idiotic look.
—And for some reason, he’s wearing a sailor uniform.
“HOW CAN I IGNORE THIS—!!??”
I can’t help but exclaim.
What’s with this guy!!? A pervert!!? If not, someone with an abnormal personality!!?
“Ehh? What, what? What’s wrong? Is there something behind me?”
“IT’S ABOUT YOU! THE ONE STANDING THERE WITH A BLANK FACE AND WEARING A SAILOR UNIFORM!!”
WHY THE HELL MUST I BE LOOKING AT THE PEOPLE BEHIND!? DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW WEIRD YOU LOOK!?
That guy finally noticed that the ‘you’ was referring to him when I pointed at him, and says with a shocked expression,
“Ahh…! No, that’s not it!! This is!”
“Not it!? What about it?”
“This is a middle school uniform!”
“OI, WAIT A SEC! WERE YOU WEARING A SAILOR UNIFORM IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!?”
HASN’T ANYONE TOLD HIM ANYTHING ABOUT IT!? HIS FRIENDS HAVE GONE THROUGH THREE YEARS WITH HIM EITHER WAY, RIGHT!!?
“No, it’s not like this! This uniform belongs to Seiran Girls Middle School! Nee—”
“AND A GIRLS SCHOOL AT THAT!? LETTING A GUY IN TOO!! ARE THE TEACHERS IDIOTS JUST LIKE THE STUDENTS!!??”
“AARRRGGGHHH!! THE MISUNDERSTANDING JUST GOT WORSE!!!”
“RELAX! I’M NOT MISTAKEN AT ALL!!’
THIS GUY’S MOST DEFINITELY A PERVERT! IT’S HARD TO MISUNDERSTAND THIS!
“LI, LISTEN TO ME!”
“DON’T GET NEAR ME!! PERVERTEDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS!!”
“THAT’S WHY I SAY THAT IT’S NOT—!!”
“DO, DON’T COME NEAR ME—!!
Before I realized it, I’m sprinting down the field, but I just can’t shake him off. This, this pervert, he’s really fast!
“I GOT IT! I KNOW, IT’S A MISUNDERSTANDING! STOP CHASING ME NOW!!”
“LIAR! YOU WILL STOP AND LISTEN TO ME IF YOU KNOW THAT IT’S A MISUNDERSTANDING!”
“STOP SPOUTING NONSENSE! HOW CAN I STOP WHEN I’M BEING CHASED BY A PERVERT!!?”
“THAT’S WHY I SAY IT’S A MISUNDERSTANDING! DAMN IT! LOOKS LIKE I HAVE TO GO ALL OUT!”
“ALL OUT!? STO, STOP JOKING AROUND—!!”
“OHHH—!? A misunderstanding created another one? This is bad—!”
I still can’t shake off the pervert as I continued to play tag with him. No, it’s an understatement to say that we’re playing tag. The one chasing me is really a devil, a messenger of hell spreading fear and despair.
In this type of crisis which I have never experienced before, my sanity finally gives up on working as my instincts are the only thing driving me.
I, who’s trying to escape from the terror, instinctively thought of seeking help as I dashed towards the opening ceremony in the sports hall.
<<First, let us have the principal address us. Principal, if you please.>>
<<Okay. Uh um. Ehh— congratulations to all incoming students. I’m the principal of this school—>>
“LISTEN TO ME!!!”
*“Is the principal here a pervert!?”*
*“No wonder the school fees are so cheap…!”*
<<Wait…!? Why am I treated as a pervert!?>>
As I ran into the sports hall, I’m already surrounded by buzzing. It can’t be helped since there’s a pervert appearing here!
However, I find myself calming down slightly because of the other people around me, who are already panicking. There’re a whole lot of people in the sports hall. With so many people around me, maybe I can shake off this pervert. If I have to ask for help, now’s the time!
I take a deep breath.
“LISTEN UP, YOU GUYS! ANYONE CONFIDENT ENOUGH IN THEIR FIGHTING ABILITIES, STEP RIGHT UP! THOSE NOT CONFIDENT ENOUGH WILL ONLY GET IN THE WAY. BACK DOWN!”
My voice echoes through the hall.
“EH!? WHAT!? A FIGHT THIS TIME!? WHAT’S WRONG TODAY!?”
On hearing the voice, the pervert chasing me panicked. Idiot! I’ll finish off this pervert who’s attacking in the middle of daylight!
Just like a certain scene in the <<Ten Commandments>>, the crowd scattered with me at the center. Just like I ordered, those guys who weren’t confident in their skills kept their distance.
In that case, there won’t be people getting in the way. That’s good.
The problem is—
“ISN’T ANYONE CONFIDENT IN THEIR OWN FIGHTING ABILITIES!?”
The problem is that no one was willing to help me take on the pervert. Eh…! Even though this school isn’t ordinary, it is still a prep school. To think that there is a gathering of students who can’t fight.
All of them moved as I move, with me still at the center. Damn it! Someone, someone help me…!
I continued to move, and the space moves as well. However, a student remained still even with everyone moving.
(Good! Someone’s willing to come over!)
I gave myself a victory sign secretly as I look at the courageous person. That person has long limbs, a long ponytail, and the head was swaying.
“YOU’RE SLEEPING AT SUCH A MOMENT—!!?”
THAT’S JUST NOT RUNNING AWAY! YOU Itsuki! YOU GOT MY HOPES UP FOR NOTHING! SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHY ARE YOU ABLE TO SLEEP IN SUCH A SITUATION!? DO YOU HAVE SOME DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE FROM ORDINARY HUMANS!?
“Forget about that. ANYONE WILLING TO STEP UP!?”
I change my mood and call the people around me. Damn it. No one is coming out. In this case, I can only go alone…!
Getting mentally ready, I stopped there.
After a while, a male teacher appeared there.
“Are you two freshmen?”
*BOING* A terrifyingly deep sound can be heard from the abdomen. The male teacher had muscles that look like they can rip up his suit. This presence just feels like a fighter who’s been through countless battles. This, this guy’s way too reliable…!
“It’s only just the start of school. You sure got guts.”
The muscled teacher folds his arms and smirks as he looks impressed. I’m really embarrassed to be praised by such a muscular man.
“Don’t say that. I’m not that amazing.”
I have to deny his words.
Unlike me, who’s being chased, that teacher’s guts can’t be underestimated, even though he’s taking on a pervert for his students’ sake. How can I accept the praise when I’m the one asking for help? I really can’t accept that.
However, that teacher says the same thing again.
“No no. You really have guts.”
And then, he got into position.
“—Both of you.”
After that, the muscled teacher glares at me and the pervert. Un? Why are you standing opposite me?
“O, OI! WAIT! YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE PERVERT DOWN THERE!”
“WE, WELL! I’M DIFFERENT FROM THIS GUY! I’M NOT LOOKING FOR A FIGHT!”
An unprecedented terror strikes me as a huge force I have never experienced hits me. Wha, what’s going on!? Is, is this teacher…really human…!?
“Why…did it end up like this…I’m just about to, tell you, that there was a girl talking to you…”
Before I fainted, that faint voice can be heard beside me.
Just like that, the worst ever opening ceremony ended (while I was still unconscious), and now, we’re sorted into our classes and introducing ourselves.
My body endures the pain as I put my hand on my cheek and looked forward.
“—Ryo. Nice to meet you.”
There’s nothing out of the ordinary. Just a simple self-introduction in order.
“My name is, Shimada, Minami. Nice to meet you.”
The strange feeling isn’t because of the words, but the pronunciation. It doesn’t sound Japanese.
I thought that she’s an overseas student and opened my eyes wide to check. However, the owner of that voice doesn’t look like a foreigner, but a Japanese I’m used to seeing.
(Un? Isn’t that person the one sleeping in the midst of the buzzing—?)
Whether it’s the strange pronunciation or the attitude during the opening ceremony, I’m rather bothered by them. I then look at the name on the blackboard. Over there, the name ‘Shimayumi Mikare’ is written there. Since she calls herself Shimada Minami, I guess she probably wrote the wrong name.
“Shimada-san is a Japanese from Germany, and she has just returned, so everyone, please help her out.”
The teacher helped Shimada finish off. She’s a girl who came back from overseas? No wonder the pronunciation and kanji are wrong. She was sleeping not because she was bored or it was spring, but the time difference. Maybe that’s the reason.
*Snickers* I can hear people around me snickering. Most likely, they’re laughing at Shimada for writing the wrong kanji.
(Tch, how stupid.)
Deep inside, I mocked those idiots who were snickering away.
Just now, the teacher mentioned that ‘she just returned’. Also, I can tell from the pronunciation just now that Shimada has just started learning Japanese not too long ago, but now she’s speaking Japanese and using kanji to write her name. She’s entering what’s considered a high school life, and now has to be independent in such a different culture, yet she’s still pulling herself through like this. This itself is worthy of praise. However, I can tell how impatient this crowd is when they’re laughing away. The people laughing are laughing at their own ignorance.
“I hope we can get along!”
As I was thinking about this, Shimada’s self-introduction ended. Then, based on the order, it’s my turn now.
I slowly walk to the front and immediately say my name out clearly.
“I’m Sakamoto Yuuji from Kannazuki Middle School.”
That one sentence caused everyone else to start muttering.
“That guy’s Kannazuki’s…”
“The infamous devil…”
“That guy seems really amazing…”
It seems some of them knows about my middle school past as they give me probing and disgusted looks. With the action during the opening ceremony just now, I’ll be viewed as a violent student with many problems.
It’s fine. I don’t have to deliberately explain to them.
I slowly walk back like how I walked to the podium, and returned to my seat.
And then, the next student introduced himself.
“My name’s Kinoshita Hideyoshi. I’d hope we can get along.”
That weird tone caused me to widen my closing eyes to check…what’s going on? Why isn’t that person there wearing a girl’s uniform? No, wait, the name’s Hideyoshi, so that’s a guy, right/ but he doesn’t look like a guy in the first place…
I tilted my head to wonder, and Kinoshita’s self-introduction ended. The next student walked in front. I’ll just leave this memory of Kinoshita being ‘a really weird guy with an unspecified gender’ in my mind. Yeah, at least I should remember a name. Besides, there can’t possibly be a second strange person like this.
“…Tsuchiya Kouta. Interests are perv…no”
……There is one. And what follows next is.
“…speciality is stealing pho…nothing much.”
After saying that, a camera and recorder can be seen from Tsuchiya’s pockets.
(Why, why isn’t anyone telling him off yet…!?)
His interest is to take photos secretly, specialty is to eavesdrop, and the gadgets on him really have a criminal feel. That’s too weird. That’s way too obviously weird.
My common sense was about to collapse, and there was another self-introduction.
“I’m Yoshii Akihisa from Nagatsuki Middle School. I hope we can get along.”
The one who said that as he kept his head low is that idiot who was wearing the sailor uniform this morning. I see, so this guy’s called Yoshii Akihisa. I’ll remember that as an important person to be wary against. He’s a pervert.
After that, there weren’t any strange self-introductions, and the HR time ended. In the end, amongst the names I remembered, the once with the most common sense is that girl who came back to the country, huh?
As I got ready to leave, I heard the voice of that girl who came back from afar.
“Shut up, you swines.”
Looks like I have to take that back, I thought.
Before I noticed it, it’s been a week since that chaotic opening ceremony.
I managed to get used to school life, and I can finally enjoy a peaceful life.
—But that’s impossible.
“That guy is that Sakamoto…”
“He challenged all the students and teachers to a fight during the opening ceremony…”
“Looks like he’s looking for someone to fight against…”
“I heard that he had some grievances against people from other schools…”
I had been going through every single day uncomfortably with the strange stares coming at me from afar.
Let me state this first. I had never personally tried to look for trouble. What happened during the opening ceremony was a misunderstanding caused by an unfortunate situation.
They aren’t completely baseless, but these are rumors I don’t really want.
Even so, I can accept that. The problem is,
“I heard that Sakamoto-kun and Yoshii-kun had something strange going on between them.”
“Ah, I know. Those two were chasing each other during the opening ceremony, right?”
“Both of them were late at the same time. What did they do?”
The problem is the rumors coming from here. At this point, it isn’t a question of whether I can handle it. I have to eliminate this completely. This is the worst possible kind of rumor.
However, I couldn’t talk to the girls staring at me like this and tell them ‘It’s not like that between me and that guy. That’s a misunderstanding’. Not only that, the way I tell them might cause the opposite effect. It will be bad for me to let the rumors subside quietly. Anyway, Yoshii and I don’t have that kind of relationship, and we haven’t even interacted normally before—
“Ah, Sakamoto-kun. Do you have time later? I have something to talk to you about after school.”
“YOU LOOKING FOR A FIGHT HERE!?”
“EH? WHAT WHAT!? WHAT’S GOING ON!?”
Actually choosing such timing to appear too! I couldn’t help but grab Yoshii on the torso. This guy really doesn’t know what the situation is like now!!
“Sa, Sakamoto-kun. Why are you already so angry when I’m just talking with you?”
“Can’t you sense the mood now?”
“Erm…are you thinking, Sakamoto-kun?”
“THAT’S NOT IT. I’M SAYING TO CHECK THE SITUATION AROUND US BEFORE TRYING TO TALK TO ME! CAN’T YOU SEE THE STARES AROUND US!!?”
“Heh? Surroundings, as in…”
“Wah. Looks like they’re worried about others staring at them…”
“As expected, in places we can’t see…”
“There’re really people like this. High school is amazing…”
“??? What are those people over there talking about?”
Yoshii just stood down there, stunned with a perplexed expression. So he can’t choose the timing properly and has such bad understanding ability? This idiot.
“…They’re saying that my relationship with you is very weird.”
“Ha? What does that mean?”
“Who knows? Also, don’t approach me randomly, to prevent further misunderstandings.”
“Eh? That means…”
After thinking hard for a little bit, Yoshii seemed to finally understand what’s going on, and then,
“I, I’ll be bothered here! I’ll go correct it!)
He panicked and went to the girls talking away. Fm, this might be better for me anyway.
(If I were to go, I might not even be able to talk to them…)
I’ll wait for him to clear the misunderstanding.
After talking to the girls for a moment, Yoshii returned. Now, what happened?
“Is the misunderstanding cleared?”
“‘Have they actually GONE to such a relationship!?’ they said in a shocked manner…”
“WHAT IN THE WORLD DID YOU TELL THEM!?”
Didn’t this make the misunderstanding worse!
“MOVE ASIDE. MY TURN!”
I pushed Yoshii aside and walked to the girls. I was worried whether they would run away in fear because they were scared, but luckily, the girls were willing to listen to me normally this time as Yoshii went to them before.
Several minutes later, I went back to my seat. This time, Yoshii looked uneasy as he asked me.
“How is it? Do they understand?”
“Ahh, no problems.”
I straightened my back and answered.
“Really. That’s great~”
“I told them that you were a pervert who like to cross-dress, and I ran away in fear after seeing that. They immediately understood after they heard that.”
“WHAT DID YOU SAY—!?”
There’s nothing to deny about that. That’s the fact after all.
“GO CORRECT THAT, SAKAMOTO-KUN! I MERELY WORE A SAILOR UNIFORM WHEN I ATTENDED THE OPENING CEREMONY! I’LL BE TROUBLED IF I’M MISUNDERSTOOD!”
“OI, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! YOU CAN’T SAY ‘MERELY’ WHEN YOU’RE A GUY WEAING A SAILOR UNIFORM!”
What kind of common sense does this guy have anyway!?
“AND I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO TALK TO YOU BACK THEN!”
“THAT’S JUST YOU BEING A BUSYBODY, PERVERT!”
“Wha…! YOU’RE THE ONE WITH SPECIAL INTERESTS! IGNORING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GIRL!?”
“AHH!? YOU DARE TO SAY THAT—”
We continued to argue with each other, and just when we’re about to grab each other by the throats.
“What are you two doing?”
The crude voice entered our arguments. It’s the muscleman teacher who’s in charge of remedials who knocked Yoshii (the pervert) and me out at the opening ceremony. He suddenly entered the classroom, perhaps getting ready for the next class.
I retract the hand I reached out and sat back in my seat. My head unknowingly started to heat up, but on thinking about this carefully, there’s no point in punching this idiot up. It’ll only be a waste of time to be his opponent.
The teacher stared at the pervert and me with sharp eyes.
“Sakamoto. I heard a lot about you. Don’t do anything that will make the rumors come true.”
He warned. The ‘rumors’ the muscular teacher mentioned was most probably the violent incidents I will commit. It’s true that beside this teacher, the other teachers seem to be viewing me as a student who would use violence in school. If I make even the slightest move here, it will become a huge problem.
“Then, as Takenaka-sensei is seriously ill at this moment, I’ll take over the lessons. Flip open to page 13 of the textbook—”
The muscular teacher didn’t say anything more to me as he took the teaching materials and started to teach.
What appears in front of me is a scene of a lesson that had not changed much even though I'm a High School student now.
The explanation of the teacher just entered by one ear and went out by another ear, and I inadvertently looked out the window.
During this time, a figure of a single highschool girl entered my field of vision.
(…Still giving that bored look.)
The girl who returned back from overseas had her hand supporting her chin, and the textbook on the table wasn’t flipped opened at all, and she looked lethargic while sighing away.
(Looks like she’s still not used to life here)
I never actually saw her talking happily with others before. The words she said on the first day and her classification as someone who returned from overseas caused the people in the class to keep their distance from her.
“Yoshii. Do you know the meaning of this term?”
“Yes? E, erm, it means ‘interesting’—that would be great.”
“Why is it that your answer has your own wish mixed in at the end…”
The muscular teacher sighed, and everyone in the class laughed heartily. Shimada was staring at Yoshii, who’s standing in the midst of the laughter, with envy—hatred.
(That guy is being completely hated.)
I thought as I watched the eyes full of hatred. Looking at this, it’s not impossible for Shimada not to pull Yoshii out and vent her frustrations. This will only be a disaster for Yoshii, who doesn’t know that Shimada hates him.
Even so, I can understand the feeling, why Yoshii infuriates others. That’s because, even if my reason is different from Shimada, I don’t like Yoshii.
(Even if that’s the case, I can’t think of anything…)
I’ll only waste my time and effort getting involved with such an idiot. It’ll be better if I don’t.
After making this conclusion, I give up on thinking and close my eyes silently.
Just like that, the boring day ended.
A few days passed, and it’s been two weeks since the Opening Ceremony ended.
There was no change in the stares from the teachers and the students at me or the surrounding situation.
“How stupid…there’s nothing to talk about, and yet they’re nitpicking at my habits. Really…”
I muttered to myself.
After school, I was told to go to the staff room, so I thought something was up, but it seemed that a neighboring school had an incident of violence that caused the teacher to nag. It seemed that I was convicted just by suspicion, and I really wanted to actually take action.
“Damn it, judging others just by looks and rumors.”
I can understand that ‘it can’t be helped when others misunderstand’, but it’s a completely different thing emotionally. Nobody will be happy being told off for something they never did.
The few people who were chatting on the corridors after school either looked at me or hurriedly left for the exit while looking terrified, thinking that I would find trouble with them, perhaps because they saw me being all unhappy. What idiots. How can I possibly fight them if they don’t provoke me?
I was really unhappy and walked back quickly to my classroom to hurry up and head home. Is everyone already going out with their friends or taking part in club activities just two weeks since the school opening? I don’t know the specific reasons as there’s no one in the classroom.
“What reason? What time is it now?”
After looking at the watch, I understood. Normally, students would have already gone home at this time.
I silently listened to the teacher silently and got detained for a long time with a ‘what’s with that look, are you thinking of fighting back’? If it wasn’t for the muscular teacher in charge of remedial returning to the staff room to stop that teacher, it could have been much longer.
Why must I suffer so much? I thought as I grabbed the bag that was placed on my own table and got ready to go home. As I was too forceful, I knocked into the table on my way out.
A lot of textbooks dropped out from the table. The owner of this seat didn’t bring the textbooks back home and only put it that.
“Already like this soon after school opening? How enthusiastic you are in your studies.”
I muttered this line that could be said to myself and reached out my hand to put the dropped textbooks back.
And then, I saw that pitiful state.
“That’s, way too much…”
The cover was wrecked and the pages were all messed up. Books that should have been just given were already in such a pathetic state. It wouldn’t be possible for this to happen if it’s used normally.
I picked up this book and looked at the thoroughly tattered cover, and the cover had the name ‘Shimayumi Mikare’ on it. Such a weird name…that’s the name the girl who just came back from overseas wrote wrongly.
“Speaking of which, she called others in the class swines back then.”
In that case, this disaster happened because of Shimada’s words and enraged a certain person enough to bully her.
“Doesn’t look that way….”
To me, the people in our class merely felt that the line was like ‘some foreigner who couldn’t speak Japanese well said something weird’ and ended it there. It shouldn’t be at the level where someone would bully her, and also, no idiot will enthusiastically get near anyone who said that.
Anyway, it’s really hard to imagine someone bullying her. In other words, it’s because this girl herself was enraged as she couldn’t get used to Japan, right? And this method of wrecking is way too weird…
“…Well, never mind. It has nothing to do with me.”
I’ll just observe for the time being and put the tattered textbook back to its original position.
At this moment.
A fast moving thing flashed past my eyes.
My body naturally reacted before I could make a decision and backed away from there. I dodged the danger at the last moment, and a certain person’s fist grazed right past the front of my eyes. At this moment, I finally saw what was trying to hit me.
I adjusted my position and watched the owner of the fist.
Standing over there was,
That idiot who had quite the fate with me ever since school started.
“What are you trying to do, you bastard?”
Yoshii asked silently.
Both of us know that we hated each other, but even so, it’s not so bad that we would actually start punching each other.
“……What…are you doing……”
Yoshii rotated his fist as he said. Asking me what I’m doing?”
“I’m about to ask you—”
“I’M SAYING WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DOING AT HER SEAT!!!”
Yoshii let out a roar that I couldn’t even imagine. Then, his eyes moved to my right hand…or more accurately, the tattered textbook in my right hand.
Right now, my hand has a thoroughly tattered textbook, no one’s inside the classroom, there’s all sorts of rumors in school, and Yoshii’s words just now.
I got a conclusion from this.
“…Don’t tell me—”
That Yoshii, does he think that I wrecked this textbook to bully Shimada?
“Oi, wait a sec, Yoshii. I’m”
“GRIT YOUR TEETH HARD, YOU PIECE OF TRASH!!”
Yoshii couldn’t listen to my words at all as he clenched his fist hard to attack. I bent my waist to dodge and said to Yoshii.
“Calm down! I didn’t do this!”
“I’LL KILL YOU!!!”
“LISTEN TO ME!!!”
Not good. I’ve been misunderstood completely.
…Can’t be helped.
“Then, I’ll play along with you!”
He was already someone I didn’t like anyway. Fine, I’ll just give him two, three punches to shut him up! That’s the best way to deal with such an idiot!
Just as expected of an idiot, he won’t cry until something’s smacked into him. Yoshii attacked from the front for the 3rd time. I dodged it from aside and hit the defenseless face.
The tables and chairs got involved, and Yoshii flew out in an exaggerated manner. I didn’t use all my strength, but there’s a huge difference in our body types. He’s less than 170cm tall, and it’s to be expected for him to be sent flying by me, who’s almost 180cm tall.
Yoshii again stood up and leapt over. This time, I grabbed him on the chest and threw him back in the opposite direction.
The tables and chairs have collapsed there on the floor where Yoshii landed.
And then, he pushed aside the tables and chairs clinging onto his feet and stood up. I really couldn’t tell from his appearance, but he’s really a stubborn person.
Yoshii continued to leap over like before, and this time, I sent him flying back with a kick. He landed between the tables and the chairs again, and again stood up.
Again and again, this process continued to repeat.
“…Must definitely…send you flying…!”
“You really can take hits, huh! WANT SOME MORE!?”
I couldn’t help but roar as I saw Yoshii try to stand up again.
He got punched, kicked, thrown and I never got hit even once. That’s to be expected. Yoshii was fast, but his body was too light and his movements were too direct, and to be honest, he wasn’t much of an opponent to me. He should have given up a long time ago when he was losing to me like that.
However, Yoshii gritted his teeth and stood up again.
At first, I just wanted to calm him down by punching him 2, 3 times, but before I knew it, it’s been more than 15 rounds.
“Damn it…! How many times must I beat you before you give up…!”
As the one dealing the beating, I started to grumble as I continued to repeat the same motions, again and again.
At this moment, a certain thought appeared in my mind.
(Why isn’t this guy giving up…?)
He’s been beaten so badly, and he knows he can’t beat me no matter how stupid he is. Or rather, he should have expected the outcome before we started fighting.
(Isn’t it obvious who’s the stronger one between us…)
On a side note, I can tell the huge difference in ability between us. It’s the skinny and short Yoshii versus the physically strong me, who’s already used to this kind of situation to a certain extent, like how the rumors went. A normal person will never rush at me after seeing such a thing in the classroom after school. Normally, that person will pretend not to notice and run away or call a teacher here. That’s a smart and correct choice.
Suddenly, I was reminded of a painful emmory.
In a classroom after school, opponents I couldn’t beat, being bullied, a girl without friends. That was 5 years ago, when we were still in grade school. It was—a painful memory I didn’t want to remember.
I roared to Yoshii, who was standing up again, to shake aside these memories.
“THAT’S ENOUGH, YOU IDIOTIC BASTARD!!!”
My brain was filled with blood, and my face felt hot; my emotions were agitated, and my eyes were red. How can I continue to play around with him!!
On hearing my words, Yoshii trembled as he got to his feet, and finally responded.
“…Don’t you feel…it’s really pitiful…”
I didn’t understand what he was saying at first, and asked back,
“DON’T YOU FIND HER PITIFUL!? SHE JUST CAME BACK TO JAPAN, DOESN’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS, DOESN’T UNDERSTAND JAPANESE, BUT WAS STILL WORKING HARD ALONE! WHY MUST YOU BULLY SUCH A PERSON WHO’S WORKING HARD!!”
The thoroughly wounded Yoshii yelled with a powerful voice.
Pitiful? Working alone? I know that. You don’t have to explain that. I saw such a similar situation before.
Yes. Under the same situation, the same conditions.
—No, it’s different.
While the person who summoned her courage for my sake was being bullied right in front of me, I was hesitating beside her, trembling, thinking of running away. I put myself first.
However, this guy—
“HOW CAN I FORGIVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU, YOU BASTARD!!!”
This guy actually…!
GANK!! A loud sound rang.
Yoshii was sent flying with such force that couldn’t be compared to those hits before.
And I took Yoshii’s punch right in the face. My vision starts to waver. It was because I didn’t think of dodging and only focused on hitting him…however, it doesn’t matter whether I want to dodge or not. I’ll just focus on beating this guy up…!!
“FINE, IF YOU DON’T LIKE ME THAT MUCH, YOSHII, TRY AND BEAT ME UP THEN!! I’LL BEAT YOU UP UNTIL YOU CAN’T STAND UP!!!”
My mind was blank. This guy in front of me really pricks my nerves to the worst. No need to hold back! I’ll thoroughly beat this annoying idiot into a pulp.
“SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I’LL SEND YOU FLYING AND MAKE YOU REGRET IT !!”
“SHUT UP! YOU TRASH!!”
He doesn’t consider his own defenses as he swings his own fist in a momentum that can crush the cheekbones. This idiot…! I’ll really beat you up!
And then, while both of us are so close that we can beat each other up,
A shadow suddenly butts in and pointed pen tips in front of Yoshii and me. Thi, this guy…this guy’s called Tsuchiya, right? When did he get in!?
“DON’T GET IN OUR WAY! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!”
And I temporarily diverted my target from Yoshii and Tsuchiya.
“…I’ll be troubled if you continue to wreck havoc like this.”
Tsuchiya continued to say to us while pointing the pens at us, but his eyes were looking at a corner of the classroom. What’s going on?
“…The camera will be wrecked.”
The vague words caused Yoshii and me to have question marks above our hand. At this moment, the guy who appeared in front of us lowers the pens and walks over to a corner of the classroom, rummages through there to find something. Is that…a CCD camera? Is he saying that he doesn’t want us to wreck it with our fighting? That’s not really a prob—but why did he have a camera there?
“Were you taking shots secretly?”
“…!(Shakes head violently)”
He shook his head hard to deny it. Speaking of which, this guy seemed to have said something about this during his self-introduction…
I recall what happened on the day of the opening ceremony, and Tsuchiya was checking his camera will fail. He himself denies that he was taking shots, but I can only imagine it like that when he placed it at such an angle…or is there any other motive? I’m not sure.
“…Tch. Lost my interest.”
The rage within me immediately diffused. It’s pointless going hard on an idiot. Better go home early.
“You managed to keep your pitiful life there, Yoshii.”
I again sling my bag on my shoulder, face Yoshii and turn around.
At this moment.
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU BASTARD!!”
I realized that my shoulder was grabbed, and then there was a punch to my face. This…bastard…! It’s rare for me to say that I let you go…!
“…Looks like you still want to fight, Yoshii.”
“Of course! Do you think I’ll let you go unless you apologize to Shimada-san!?”
I said before that an idiot’s an idiot, but to be honest, I never expected him to be so stupid. As expected, taking on such a guy is—
“WILL YOU UNDERSTAND WHEN I SEND YOU TO YOUR GRAVE!?”
“THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO SAY, YOU BASTARD!!”
It’s already the umpteenth round. However,
“DAMN YOU, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING!!”
This time, we were stopped by a familiar gruff sounding voice. Wait…this voice belongs to that muscular remedial teacher…!
Better hide my fist and pretend nothing happened now. But even so, I can’t hide the terrible state of the classroom. This is bad…! Getting into trouble after entering school like that…!
I can’t escape, and I don’t know how to deal with this situation.
My heart sinks as I turn around.
“How’s that? Have you calmed down?”
Standing over there is the weird classmate of mine who has a feminine face and speaks in an old-fashioned manner.
“Was that voice just now your doing?”
“How about it? Sounded like it, didn’t it?”
He smiled happily as he said this. I had an impression on this guy as well. I remember this guy’s name is called Kinoshita Hideyoshi. It’s really hard to forget anyone with such a special appearance, tone and gender.
As my attention was diverted over there, Yoshii immediately rushed over here.
“MOVE ASIDE, KINOSHITA-SAN! GO TO HELL, YOU SCUMBALL—”
“Tch! Such an annoying person—”
“DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO STOP!!?”
My eardrums and even my muscles trembled. Yoshii and I had to stop. How large of a vocal range does this guy have?
“Really, just look at this mess. For what reason are you fighting for?”
It looks like a typhoon just swept by the classroom as the tables and chairs were scattered all over the place. Looking around, I realize that we really created quite the ruckus.
“I understand your feelings, Kinoshita-san. But it’s dangerous for a girl here, so please quietly—”
“You’re called Yoshii, right? I’d just realized that you’re treating me as a girl.”
“Un. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Anyway, hurry up and leave this place, Kinoshita-san.”
Kinoshita grabbed Yoshii on the hand and pressed it against his own chest. Oi oi, what’s going on now? What’s the situation?
“……..(Pacha pacha pacha)”
And then, at a corner of the classroom, there’s a pervert with a camera aimed over here like a tank. That’s too weird. The development of things here are far beyond my common sense.
“How about that, Yoshii? You can tell that I’d am a man, right?”
“You’re already a high school student. It’s better for you to wear a bra…”
“Has my words fallen on deaf ears already!!?”
Yoshii blushed as he drew his hand away from Kinoshita’s chest.
Beside him, Tsuchiya moves behind Kinoshita at such a speed where only afterimages can be seen. Is he trying to check if there are any signs of bras there? This guy’s…really an enigmatic guy…!”
“…Such immeasurable…feelings……!!! (Bushaa)”
After getting a satisfactory result from his investigation, Tsuchiya collapses onto the floor with a nosebleed. Why, why is it that he’s the one bleeding the most when Yoshii and I were the ones fighting?
“Anyway, you can tell that I’d am a man, right?”
Yoshii looks troubled as he can’t eliminate the possibility of a small-breasted girl.
“Muu…if you insist, I’d have to take off my bottoms reluctantly…”
“DON’T DO THAT! IT’LL FEEL LIKE A CERTAIN FORBIDDEN LINE WILL BE CROSSED IF YOU DO THAT!!!!!!”
Regarding this, I agree with Yoshii.
“Never mind. Since you’ve said it to such an extent, Kinoshita-san, I’ll have to treat you as a guy for now.”
“Hold it. In that case, why are you calling me ‘-san’?”
“More than that, I have to beat up this scumbag good!”
“Tch! Try it if you can!”
This guy still doesn’t seem like he will give up. How stubborn is he actually? No, it’s an idiot’s trait to run in a straight line.
Just when we were getting ready to fight,
“Really? Do you really want me to roar again?”
Kinoshita’s words caused us to freeze. If that loud voice rings again, I don’t know what will happen to my eardrums.
Seeing that we barely managed to keep our fists back, Kinoshita sighs and says,
“Really…I don’t know the reason, but the other classmates and I can’t ignore it when you’re messing around in the classroom. Can you let bygones be bygones?”
Even if I’m to explain, I don’t exactly know what to say. Also, Yoshii beside me seems like he doesn’t know what to say like me too. This guy, even though he’s an idiot and a really weak fighter, he doesn’t intend to talk about how I bullied Shimada (even though it was Yoshii’s misunderstanding)? Such a weird guy. Small fry will say things like small fry, distorting facts all over the place. Go beg others for mercy.
“Yare yare. My head hurts. It’s really hard to explain.”
“Un? What’s that?”
At this moment, Tsuchiya operates the camera and shows a certain recorded part for us to see.
“Tsuchiya yo, what’s that?”
“…The entire situation will be cleared with this.”
It’s a little hard to understand Tsuchiya’s overly simplistic explanation.
Anyway, I’ll just look at the screen like him—
However, even if he said that it’s the entire thing,
“…Nothing else other than the legs?”
“Tsuchiya, you’re really taking shots secretly, huh?”
“…!!(Shakes head violently)”
Tsuchiya continues to shake his head to deny it. Why is it that he’s still denying it when the decisive evidence is right in front of our eyes? In a certain sense, it’s really scary.
I’ll ignore that for now and continue to watch the footage Tsuchiya provided. Yoshii is somewhat unhappy, but intends to watch it first before continuing,
“Oi, Tsuchiya. When was this?”
Tsuchiya pressed a switch to fast forward the image, and at this moment, the tables and chairs were moved to the back as they started to clean up.
“So what about the cleaning?”
The crystal display shows the students feet as they walk around the class.
Tsuchiya pauses the image and points at a certain place.
The image is very small and couldn’t be seen easily, but I can still see something had dropped onto the floor. That’s…
“Is that…a textbook?”
It’s just like what Kinoshita said. On the screen, a textbook dropped onto the floor, and the students in the class didn’t notice that as they continued to drag the tables and chairs back. The book got caught under them.
“Everyone was busy talking and didn’t notice what was below their feet.”
The people in charge of cleaning didn’t notice the textbook held underneath as they moved the table filled with stuff back to the classroom.
Fuun, I see. So that’s how it is.
“Ah, arre? Don’t tell me, that’s…”
I ignored the flabbergasted Yoshii, and Tsuchiya presses the switch to move to the next scene.
The speaker of the camera let out some voices.
“…This is, what should we do…”
“This is bad…we didn’t notice it…”
“Isn’t this the textbook of the girl who came back? If that’s the case, even if we go explain it—”
“She won’t listen to us and call us swines…”
“An, anyway, let’s put it back into the table. We’ll think of a way tomorrow.”
“Tha, that’s right. Let’s do it.”
“……This is the truth.”
Tsuchiya switches off the image of the camera. At this moment,
Yoshii lowered his head and bowed hard at me…ha?
“What’s with that out of a sudden?”
“We, well, how should I apologize here…! Anyway, Sakamoto-kun, just beat me up until you've calmed down!”
“No no, I don’t want to beat you up anymore.”
“Ah, in that case. Eh, well—”
What’s with those words? Yoshii just continues to look around the classroom in a frantic manner. Seriously, what’s with this guy? Where has the momentum he had up till now gone to?
Seeing Yoshii change his attitude so quickly, Kinoshita asks,
“What is it, Yoshii? Is there something wrong?”
“Ah, un. Well—”
“—It’s like this. I misunderstood Sakamoto-kun.”
“I see. So that’s the reason for this terrible state.”
“Un…I’m really sorry about this, Sakamoto-kun…”
Yoshii looks at me, seemingly trying to probe for my expression. Ahh, damn it, what’s with this guy actually?
“But you’re also in the wrong too, Sakamoto. Couldn’t you have explained it well just now? Don’t you feel that Yoshii could have listened to you when you saw him like that?”
Kinoshita’s words made sense. I might be able to convince him if I explained things. In fact, I was planning to do this right from the beginning, but I gave up on this thought halfway through…because I thought of something unnecessary.
“Are there any hidden feelings inside you?”
“You won’t understand even if I tell you this, Kinoshita.”
I don’t want to explain the feelings back then, and besides, I’m not really on such good terms with this group of people.
“Alright, if there’s nothing, I’ll be going.”
“Ah, un. See you tomorrow. Also, I’m really sorry about that.”
He got tangled up with me while we were fighting, and this guy is apologizing non-stop now. Really, if he’s so worried, he should have used his brain so that things wouldn’t have happened like this. Even if this never happened, the textbook is still like that—Shimada, she might be hurt emotionally after seeing her textbook end up like that because of this bullying that never existed in the first place.
The hand that reached out for the bag stops for a moment.
There was a slight yet stupid thought appearing in my mind.
What will Yoshii do after this?
A normal person will just go home and explain the reason why the textbook was tattered to Shimada. That will just solve this problem easily and beautifully. It doesn’t matter to Yoshii whether Shimada can understand Japanese well. Once he tells her what he needs to say, there’s nothing else for him to do.
Yes, that’s the normal trail of thought.
“Kinoshita-san, do you know where you can get new textbooks?”
“Un? No, I have no idea at all. Also, I am a guy.”
“What about you, Tsuchiya-kun?”
That should be the case, yet the conversation I’m hearing doesn’t seem to have that intent. Their brains are really stupid.
“Can we get it if we go to the shops?”
“How do we do that? The textbooks are all given, and even if we go to the shops, they might be sold out at this point. Also, the shops right now should be closed at this time, right?”
“Then, how about we sneak in or something?”
“……That’s very risky.”
“I really don’t know. That action is really too risky. There’ll be the suspicion of illegal trespassing and criminal theft.”
“Even though I definitely won’t go steal money, u~n…that’s really not a good idea…”
Well, never mind. It has nothing to do with me. Better go back home to rest. I only took two punches, but my face does hurt.
“How about we make a copy of the book?”
“There’s a lot to print…”
“…And we can’t make a real book.”
I’ll just go shopping on the way home. There’re a lot of things I need to buy.
“How about we go iron this book?”
“It’s not even a book. The creases can’t be ironed flat…”
“…The tattered edges can’t be repaired.”
Alright, time to shop.
“I’ll replace this tattered book with my own then.”
“Didn’t everyone have to write their names when the textbooks were given out? You can’t change it if it has your name.”
“…And it doesn’t solve the problem in the first place.”
I’ll go and shop…
“How about we wreck everyone’s books..”
“Shimada’s book won’t be so obvious then…”
“…But that’s just vandalism.”
“AH—REALLY, YOU IDIOTS! COULDN’T YOU HAVE JUST TOLD THE TEACHERS THAT YOU NEED ANOTHER BOOK!!?”
I couldn’t help but butt in on hearing their stupid words. These guys are way too stupid! Even I will feel anxious hearing such things, you bastards!
“Ah, yeah! That’s right! We didn’t do anything wrong here!”
“That’s true. It’s just like what you said, Sakamoto yo.”
“…That’s a blind spot.”
“YOU SHOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD THIS IF YOU’RE NORMAL!!”
Ahh damn it!! Are these guys serious!? They’re not kidding me now, right!?
“Really, use your brains more, you idiots…alright, I’m going home then.”
I sling my back and leave Yoshii and the rest behind. Damn it, this isn’t really my style.
“Naa? Is there anything else?”
On hearing Yoshii’s voice, I turn around for the last time.”
“Thanks a lot for your help.”
And that guy said that with a hurt look.
Such a strange guy.
Immediately, I feel that there’s a need to clean up the classroom, but it should be alright to leave it to Yoshii. If he’s worried that I’m angry over being misunderstood, I’ll feel more grateful if he could do something about this other than apologizing.
Just when I thought about this and put my hand on the door handle.
“Hold it, Sakamoto. What are you doing here!?”
A gruff voice stopped me. This voice, this pressure, it’s for real…!
“Mu, muscular sensei…!”
“Call me Nishimura-sensei.”
The muscular teacher in charge of remedial appeared, calling himself this,
This is bad…! The classroom’s in such a state, and Yoshii and I are hurt. It’s impossible to find an excuse…!
I’ll just say that it’s troublesome and try to get away…even though I thought so, this muscular teacher’s body isn’t just ordinarily big. He continues to close in on us while looking like he’s not letting us escape as he blocks the exit.
In that case, I can only take the risk and duck under his arms.
I’ll at least kick one of the tables and chairs on the floor right at him to escape. At this moment,
Just when I got ready to take action, Yoshii takes off his blazer and drapes it over the muscular teacher’s head,
Also, Tsuchiya used some sort of cable to tie the shirt and make it hard to break free. At this moment, I put enough obstacles at the feet of the muscular teacher.
“Use this chance to get away from here!”
Kinoshita then said with a cornered voice and opened the window with a loud sound. However, we escape normally from the corridor instead of leaping through the window.
“Dam, DAMN YOU! YOU’RE NOT GETTING AWAY!”
The muscular teacher’s vague voice can be heard from afar. Even if he manages to see something, he will check the window where no one is around.
The escape from the classroom I thought was impossible succeeded so easily.
“That was dangerous~ it would be bad if that teacher caught us.”
“…I heard that we would be punished severely.”
“A very strict teacher at that.”
They continued to say things like this as we walk down the stairs. We finally managed to get away. Time to go home.
“Yoshii yo, what do we do about the textbook just now?”
“What about it?”
“Such a thing happened just now. It’s impossible to explain the situation to the teachers and ask them to give a new book.”
“Ah…yeah, that’s right.”
On the other hand, even though things got tougher, this group of idiots just wants to get their hands on the textbook no matter what. Fine, whatever you want to do, just do it. It has nothing to do with me.
I take my bag again and head towards the corridor.
“Do you have any good ideas, Sakamoto-kun?”
I’m going already, but Yoshii just asked me in a matter-of-fact manner. Is this guy’s head underwater or something?
“Why must I—”
Help you think of ideas? Just when I was about to say that, the teachers’ voices can be heard from afar.
“Ahh…this is bad…”
“What is it?”
“The waste disposal recovery vehicle took the new textbooks away wrongly…”
“Ahh. That’s a waste.”
“Yeah. That’s because I won’t have extra textbooks for the year. Yare yare…”
On hearing these words, I couldn’t believe my ears. That voice definitely belongs to the teacher in charge of classics, either Tanaka or Takenaka, and Shimada’s wrecked textbook was classics. What luck, this idiot’s luck is so good it’s scary. No, I think that’s strong bad luck for him. He wouldn’t be chased away from the classroom if he had good luck and could have ended things smoothly.
“I see. So the teacher’s bothered over not having textbooks…everyone’s really bothered over textbooks today…”
“But that teacher has one, so there’s no problems for him. Compared to him, over here…”
“Yeah. Muu…what should we do…?”
The, these guys…!!
“ARE YOU ALL IDIOTS!? THAT’S IT!”
“Eh!? What, that?”
“THE TEXTBOOK! CAN’T YOU JUST GET BACK THE ‘THROWN TEXTBOOK’ THEY JUST MENTIONED!?”
““…Ohh, I see!””
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!? ANY HUMAN CAN DEFINITELY REALIZE THIS!”
What’s with this group of guys? Do they think that textbooks will become scrap paper once they enter the waste recovery truck!?”
“But how do we get the book?”
“Hear out the name of the waste recovery company and make a call to them! We can then identify the vehicle that came to school to collect the trash!”
“Ohh, that’s right. You’re really amazing, Sakamoto.”
“YOU GUYS ARE JUST TOO WORTHLESS!”
These guys will definitely be streamed into F class next year with such brains!
“Then, we’ll just hear the name of the recovery company—”
“BASTARDS! I GOT YOU!”
The muscular teacher’s voice suddenly rang. Tch! That guy revived!?
We run off in the opposite direction of the origin of the voice. The enemy just had to come running out from the corridor. Now we can’t escape like we wanted.
“WHAT SHOULD WE DO AT SUCH A TIME, SAKAMOTO-KUN!?”
“HOW WOULD I KNOW!? JUST RUN WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT!!”
I can feel the presence of the muscular teacher slowly closing in. How does he have such leg strength!? Speaking of which, that teacher seemed to have mentioned that his interest is an Ironman triathlon. It’s not correct to call him muscular anymore; that guy’s nickname will be Ironman!
Even as I continued to run, I can’t pull the distance apart in this situation of despair, and beside me, Kinoshita sighs and says to us,
“There’s no other way out. I’ll lure the sensei away. I am leaving the textbook to you.”
After saying that, he stops and turns to face Ironman.
“Kinoshita! You bastard, what’s going—”
“Nishimura-sensei, things aren’t good now!”
“Not good? What’s not good?”
“When I’d entered the classroom just now, a few unfamiliar students from other schools appeared, saying ‘hand Sakamoto over’ and made a ruckus.”
“…What’s going on?”
“I don’t know what’s going on either, but I just thought of running away when people were making a scene in the classroom…those guys may still be there.”
“Okay, lead the way.”
Kinoshita led Ironman away to another place.
That guy wouldn’t blink even when lying, huh? Normally, people will hesitate somewhat when facing such a ferocious teacher (and a muscular one at that in this case).
“Now we can get away!”
“…Good job, Kinoshita!”
We managed to escape Ironman’s demonic clutches, and we should use this chance to hurry and get out of the school.
“But we can’t ask the name of the company from the teachers. What should we do?”
Yoshii asked as we ran towards the corridor.
“We’ll just have to chase after it! Since they said that it just left, if we’re lucky, we might be able to catch up when the vehicle is caught at the traffic light!”
I immediately answered according to the mood right now. Damn it! How can I just let myself get pulled around like this!?
“We’ll have to hurry then!”
Yoshii changes into his shoes at the corridor and gets ready to rush out of the school gate.
“…No, over here.”
Tsuchiya called him and turned away. What is it? What is he planning to do?
“…It’ll be faster here.”
He leads us to a bicycle parking lot for the bicycles students use. I see. The front of this school is a slope, so it’ll be a lot faster to ride down it than to run.
“You’re going to lend us your bicycle, Tsuchiya-kun?”
“…Give me 4 seconds.”
Tsuchiya squat down in front of a certain bicycle, kacha kacha, and fumbles with the lock. Oi oi…that way of unlocking is definitely stealing.
“Eh!? Is that good?”
“…It’ll be fine if you return it properly later.”
As he said that, the locks are undone, and the bicycle is ready.
“Alright! I’ll borrow this now, thanks!”
Yoshii gets up on the bike to ride the pedal. And that’s fine in itself…”
“…Where will you go first?”
As expected! This guy doesn’t know where he’s headed to first! He’s just moving according to instincts!
Not only does he not know the destination, it’s practically crazy for him to chase after a vehicle in such a state after being battered all over in the fight against me. He’ll either collapse halfway through or fall down, and it’s really madness for him to go chase in such a state.
But even so,
“Let’s look for it first! It’s better than not doing anything!”
Yoshii said without hesitation. Just for a classmate, he’s working so hard for a girl who returned to the country, who doesn’t like him, and even loathes him.
I really can’t understand this guy at all. Normally, will you do such a thing? You’re already injured, you know? Shimada hates you, you know? No one will thank you even if you get the textbook, you know?
His irrational thinking causes me to be worried.
What’s going on? What’s with this guy? Really, this guy’s really…!
“Ah seriously. Move aside, you bastard!”
“Hurry up and sit! I’ll take you down the road the vehicle may have gone down!”
Why is it that this guy is so stupid! Getting into a fight without being sure of what’s going on, unable to think of the obvious, always rushing forward without thinking. This guy is the one saying that he wants to help the transfer student, but isn’t he the most useless one in the end? He doesn’t have anything normal people have! He doesn’t understand a thing that can be understood if you just think a little! And, and—
And…he only has one thing, the one thing that I don’t have, and the one thing I had always hoped for.
“Hang on tight! I won’t stop and go after you if you fall!”
I let Yoshii ride on the back seat of the bicycle and bore the weight of my whole body onto the pedals. That was the only bicycle in the parking area. I don’t have the duty to chase alone, but if I let Yoshii go alone, I won’t know where he will go to or whether he will even fall along the way. It can’t be that it’s a two-seater bike here…but why must I be riding it with someone who’s trying to patch things up with me after we just fought each other?
“Ahh, damn it! This isn’t fun at all!”
The bicycle flies out as if it’s being chased by something invisible as it glides down the slope in front of the school. The bicycle lets out a creaking sound, but I’m not slowing down at all.
“Listen up! I’ll only lead you there! It doesn’t matter to me what you do after that!”
“That’s enough! I’ll handle the negotiations after that!”
“Tch! Of course you will!”
Our speed is so fast that I can’t even open my eyes, but Yoshii continues to grab onto my shoulders tightly without fear. This guy only beats out others in terms of guts!
I recall the map of the area in my mind. The waste recovery plant isn’t located inside the city, but in the suburbs. The road leading to the outside will split into four forks at a certain point, and if the truck goes by there, we’ll be at a loss as we won’t be able to tell where it goes. Thus, we have to get to the intersection first before blocking the vehicle. Right now, the most important thing is speed.
“We’re going to turn! Tilt your body!”
If I turn the handle suddenly at this speed, we’ll definitely fall off. We can only tilt our bodies to shift our weight if we don’t want to slow down.
I shifted my weight forward, seemingly trying to hold down the a vehicle that is going amok, and Yoshii turns to the right.
I move the handle with the intent to tilt the front wheel slightly horizontally. If the front wheel slips, it’s over. Don’t wobble now…!!
Zuri zuri, the irritating sound could be heard. The front wheel was steady, but the back wheel seem to slide.
Behind me, Yoshii steadied it again, and the bicycle managed to maintain balance, keeping a constant speed as it moves forward.
“Oi, you bastard! You’re using too much force on your hands! My shoulders are aching because of you grabbing me!”
“You told me to hang on tight!”
As we said that, we arrived at the next turn. We manage to keep our balance as the wheels seem to fly again, but this time, there doesn’t seem to be a similar anxiety from before.
“Ah! That mini-truck!”
“Ah!? You see it?”
“Un! Right in front of us!”
I didn’t see it, but since Yoshii says it’s in front, I’ll just follow the direction he’s pointing!
I continue to move my legs with all I have and transfer my strength to the wheels. At this speed, there’s no need to consider turning; I just need to focus on moving forward.
“Alright! We’re going to catch up, Sakamoto-kun!”
I forgot the traffic rules of having to move down both sides of the road as I continued to step on the pedal. The target stops because of a red light.
We stopped right beside the truck that stopped. Yoshii gets off the bicycle once I braked and knocks on the door of the mini-truck. Yare yare…is this mission accomplished now…
I heave a sigh of relief and stop my feet.
“Eh!? Arre!? Wait!?”
Once the traffic light turned green, the mini-truck moved forward as if nothing happened. Wait!? What’s going on!?
I let myself rest for the time being to calm myself down, and finally notice the situation around me. I lifted my head, and what I saw was,
“No go! That driver’s not listening because he’s paying attention only to the music!”
The driver has headphones on as he listens to the music. No way! I heard that industrial trucks aren’t fitted with stereos, but this one just had to have headphones on him!
Ehh! Since we came all the way here, we might as well go on until the end!
“Get on, Yoshii! We’re going after it!”
As I exert all my strength onto the pedal, Yoshii immediately rushes over from behind like he’s crashing into something and leaps on. The bicycle immediately reaches almost top speed in an instant.
“Can you catch up with it, Sakamoto-kun!?”
“Shut up! Who are you asking here!?”
Our last chance will be the traffic light at the end of the slope in front of us. After that, it’ll be uphill, and there won’t be many traffic lights, so it will be impossible for a bike to catch up.
I continue to step on the pedals as I think about this.
The lactic acid gather at my feet, and my breathing feels erratic. There’s no way to do this from now on other than old-fashioned determination. This really doesn’t suit my original character. Such an action isn’t like me.
That should be the case—
“What—the hell am I doing, damn it!!”
For some reason, I’m using all I got to do this thing that’s not like me.
“Are you alright, Sakamoto-kun!?”
I can hear Yoshii’s worried voice behind me, and it seems that he can feel my legs trembling.
“Don’t you mind! I haven’t fallen to such an extent that I need a twerp like you to worry!’
“More than this, this me here will help you out on this! No matter what method you use, get that book back!”
I’m not looking in front now as all my strength is focused at my feet. This is a contest behind human power and engines, there’s no chance of me winning this reckless challenge, and it’s something I will normally snort at.
But even though, there’s another me that I don’t know of, cheering me on while my mind’s in a blank as I move forward.
I suddenly lift my head, and several meters away, the mini-truck appears right in front of me.
At the front of the slope, the traffic light shows a red color.
The mini-truck slows down to stop.
We continue to accelerate to catch up.
The distance between the bicycle and the truck is gradually decreasing.
There’s still one step.
One more step, and we can get what we want. Yoshii will get the textbook for the sake of the girl who returned back from overseas, and I will get a certain thing I had been chasing after for 5 years, which even I can’t understand. That’s what I feel.
I continue to prompt my lungs to receive oxygen as I desperately let the bicycle catch up to the truck
Our distance now is almost 0, and the bicycle catches up to the truck.
Now, we just have to move to the front while the red light is right in front of us and call out to the driver when he can see us. We just need to stop the truck and get the textbook.
That’s all we had to do.
However, right at the end, the goddess of luck never stood on our side.
The traffic light turns from red to green.
The truck stops decelerating as it accelerates.
The distance that was zero expands again.
In the end, we couldn’t make it. Whether it’s the strength to take even one more step or stepping on the pedal with all I got, it wasn’t enough.
Whether I roar or yell, I couldn’t do it. This is already my limit. My feet can’t generate a faster speed any more.
As I hear the voice, the pedal suddenly feels lighter.
Yoshii, who was supposed to be sitting behind me, is now beside me.
The final step I couldn’t reach is filled up.
A landing sound can be heard on the hood of the mini-truck.
—And after that, the time that slowed down mysteriously reverts back to normal.
The bike that acted as Yoshii’s jumping board loses balance as the handle shakes. Even if I put my feet on the ground to press the brakes of the front and back wheel, I won’t be able to reduce this momentum as it falls on the roadside.
About 10m in front of me, there’s also the sound of something falling. I don’t even need to look to tell that it’s Yoshii who leaped off the truck. That bastard, even if our speed slowed down with the uphill, there’s a limit to how reckless one should be. If he wasn’t careful, it won’t even be just injuries he would've received.
“Ar, are you two, alright!?”
An unfamiliar voice can be heard.
The truck we tried so hard to catch up to stops in front of Yoshii, and the driver gets out from inside. Ah, I see, so he was shocked by the impact when Yoshii jumped on and stepped on the brake. No wonder Yoshii only got minor wounds.
“Ah…sorry, I’m fine. Just a fall.”
“Please don’t mind. It’s not some accident. We’re fine here.”
“Is, is that so. Since you say so…”
The driver barely accepts his explanation, returns to the truck, starts the engine again and leaves.
Yoshii let out a voice that’s either laughing or panting there.
“So, so tiri…ng…”
He holds onto the textbook with both hands like he’s dealing with treasure there. That’s really a strange sight. It’s really inexplicable to see that idiot treasure a learning tool like that.
This out-of-place sense is really too weird, and I let out a voice that’s either laughing or panting as well.
“Looks like you got the target item.”
I ask to check with Yoshii, who regains his breath and walks over.
“Un, it was successful.”
Beaming, Yoshii happily raises the book in his hands.
“I see. That’s really good.”
I smiled back at him and raised my hand up.
PAK. This hand of mine swings down on the top of his head.
The sudden knock caused Yoshii to roll blank white eyes.
“At least tell me when you’re going to jump!!”
I lashed out at Yoshii loudly.
And then, Yoshii seems to recover from his shock and realizes everything, glaring at me as he gets ready to argue.
“Wha, what!? Didn’t you say that I have to get the book no matter what, for your sake!?”
“But who in their right mind would consider leaping off the bike that is going full speed!? It’s so dangerous that I nearly died there!”
“That’s what I want to say! What’s with you not even using the brakes when two people are riding down a slope! I didn’t even know where to tilt my body because I couldn't see anything if front of the bike behind your huge body!”
“SHUT UP! IF YOU HAVE COMPLAINS, HOW ABOUT YOU PEDAL IT, TWERP!”
“I WANTED TO, BUT DIDN’T YOU TAKE THE BIKE AWAY FIRST, SAKAMOTO-KUN!?”
“ARE YOU AN IDIOT!? YOU DARE TO SAY THIS WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHERE THE TRUCK WAS GOING!?”
We continued to glare at each other—and suddenly, I recovered.
“Never mind…we’ll just waste our strength fighting here…”
“Yeah…we still have to get back to school…”
We went a long way going downhill, and we’ll have to take a long walk back uphill now. In this situation, we’re already tired even on flat ground, and thinking about the very sloppy road back up makes me really unwilling to waste my energy on this idiot.
“Let’s go back then…are you going to ride back, Sakamoto-kun?”
“Don’t be stupid. What about you? How about I let you ride back?”
“No no, allow me to refuse…I’ll just push it back.”
“Well, that’s still a decent choice.”
Of course, there’s no need to even mention me when who had just pedaled at full speed, but Yoshii must also have been worn out trying to maintain his balance, as his footsteps seem abnormally heavy. He was thoroughly beaten up by me just now, and there was no place for him to put his legs on when the two of us were riding on a bicycle. Of course, it’s correct to say that it’s the right choice to walk back.
We dragged our tired bodies back slowly down the road leading to school.
“Well, even though we went all out like this.”
“Ah? What is it?”
I was pushing the bicycle, and behind me, grabbing the backseat and pushing it from behind was Yoshii, who said to me,
“I remembered the name of the company of that truck just now, so I just need to make a call over later.”
Now he’s saying such things at this point. I blankly answered,
“If you say that, we can just explain what happened after the teachers tell us off in school, and let them help out. We’re helping out others here anyway.”
Also, I found that I didn’t need to spend so much energy if I just let Yoshii ride alone when we discovered the truck. This ending itself will be much plainer. It can only be said that we abandoned all sorts of reasonable means and chose the most taxing one.
That was supposed to be the case,
“Really, I suffered so much just to tag along with you.”
That should be the case, but what’s with the happy feeling inside me?”
“Hahaha…thanks, for helping out…”
Yoshii thanked me. That idiot who was hurt the most, the one who was hated by that transfer student the most thanked me earnestly as if he was helped out for some reason.
Several seconds later, we pushed the bicycle wordlessly.
“…Speaking of accompanying me, what will happen to Kinoshita after this?”
Even though things won’t end that easily if he falls into that muscled teacher’s hands…then, what will happen next?
“Even though you say it like that, the kid is still a girl, right? Is the kid emphasizing a guy's gender for some acting role or something?”
“No no, I do feel that he’s really a guy. I saw him go into the guys toilet before.”
“That’s the fact. Accept it.”
“Uu…I can’t accept this…”
“Prompt yourself then. It’ll be bad if you fall for him.”
“Tha, that’s right…un. Kinoshita-san is a guy, Kinoshita-san is a guy, Kinoshita-san is a—”
Yoshii repeated these words like a mantra or something.
It’s true that Kinoshita’s appearance is really a waste as a guy.
“Tsuchiya-kun looks like he has lots of mysteries around him. Like how he stole the bike just now.”
“He’s already not normal when he set up the camera in the classroom.”
“He’s definitely taking the photos of the girls’ legs.”
“No other possibilities there, even though he himself denies it.”
“A severe Muttsurini…”
He normally doesn’t even say anything. It’s like he’s a Muttsurini amongst silent perverts.
“Ah—speaking of which.”
“Un? What is it?”
“Why were you still in school at such a time? Club activity?”
“No, that’s not it…”
“Then what is it?”
“I went to check on some foreign language…”
Foreign language? This idiot?
“Must be tough on you then.”
It’s really amazing that this guy would actually do English seriously, and a foreign language makes things feel even more out of place. However, it feels that I don’t have to ask about this any further as we continued to talk about other useless stuff on the remaining road.
“Yare yare…we finally managed to make it back…”
“My legs are exhausted…”
As we step past the school gate, we walked towards the park and returned the bike. Luckily, the bike itself wasn’t severely damaged, and it looked fine.
We latched the lock Tsuchiya unlocked, and walked back to the corridor.
At this moment.
“Sorry, everyone! I couldn’t hide the truth!”
Kinoshita and Tsuchiya came running out from the corridor and said this as they went by us. They couldn’t hide it. Don’t tell me…!
“Hohou…perfect timing, Yoshii, Sakamoto. Let’s have a long talk about the trashed state of that classroom.”
The one who said that as he grabbed our shoulders is that muscled teacher (Ironman).
“Yoshii, Sakamoto. You just had to fight each other in the sacred school compound?”
It’s a voice that seems to come from deep within the abdomen, one full of terror. This isn’t good. My instincts are telling me that we’ll definitely be messed with here if we’re caught here.
I glance secretly at Yoshii, and Yoshii looks back at me as both of us nod at each other. Fuun, so we can get along in such a situation.
“What nonsense are you talking about, sensei? Why must the two of us fight?”
“We may not look like it, but we’re really good buddies here, right?”
Yoshii and I laughed out loud to ease the suspicion Ironman has on us. All existing differences between us don’t matter for the sake of escaping from this teacher that looks like he’ll teach with his metallic fists.
But Ironman remained unmoved as he watches us and roars with his loud voice,
“STOP KIDDING AROUND!! AS A TEACHER, I KNOW BOTH OF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN GETTING ALONG EVER SINCE SCHOOL STARTED!!”
It was a merciless decisive tone. Tch! Such a paranoid guy! So he won’t believe the words of his cute students?
“No no no! We’re really on good terms here! Right ! Sak—”
“Of course! We can’t possibly be fighting, right! Yo—”
At this moment, both of us exchange glances. Really… it’s been one disaster after another today, damn it!
“Hey, we’re on good terms with each other, right, Yuuji?”
“That’s right, Akihisa!”
Both of us put our shoulders on each other. Why must I pretend to have good feelings for this idiot here!?
Ironman stared at both of us.
Then, he sighs softly.
“That might have solved the differences between you two.”
“What’s with those ridiculous words? Oi oi, we did say such things before, but how did you get such an impression from that?
As both of us show question mark signs above our heads, Ironman continues,
“That’s fine. Since both of you managed to build your friendship, spend some time to talk in the life counselling room.”
Do, don’t kid around! Several lives won’t even be enough if we take that teacher’s life counselling session!
Got to find a way to get away from here. I moved my sights and find that the idiot beside me is giving an expression that shows that he’s thinking the same thing as me. Not good! I’ll take the initiative first!
The idiot seem like he wants to say something, and I kick him right at Ironman.
“Eh!? Ah, wait!?”
“Sorry Akihisa! I’ll leave the explaining things to you!”
And then, I immediately dashed away. Besides, even if I don’t betray him here, that idiot will have to return to school. As for why, it’s because he has to put the textbook into Shimada’s table. Besides, it’s rare to have a chance to be a bait for my retreat!
“Tra, TRAITOR! I WON’T FORGET THIS GRUDGE!”
“IDIOT! AS IF YOU CAN REMEMBER THAT WITH THAT STUPID BRAIN OF YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE!”
I used up my last ounce of strength to run down the slope in front of the school.
I forced myself to support my tired legs as I continue to run, and suddenly, I realized something.
“That guy, will he just write ‘Shimada’ on Shimada’s textbook…”
As Shimada remembered the wrong kanji, it’s impossible for her to write ‘Shimada’, so he has to deliberately write it wrongly and write it as ‘Shimayumi’. However, it’s really hard to imagine that idiot realizing this.
And before this, it’s impossible to believe that Shimada remembers the full correct kanji.
“Let’s just let him do whatever he wants. They’re all a bunch of idiots anyway.
I thought as I walked down the end of this slope.
Those guys are really idiots that are hard to understand.
I’m really grateful to all who bought this book. I’m the author in charge of writing this novel, Inoue Kenji.
If we count the total, this book is the 13th book. If we count by the short stories, this is the 4th volume. Before I realized it, I was really shocked to find out that this work became a long series. The reason why this work can continue like this is all due to the readers’ support and the assistance of the related personnel. I really want to thank everyone.
Then, because of the number of pages, please allow me to insert my customary thanks.
Haga-san in charge of illustrations, everyone looks so cute when their hairstyles were changed in the color illustrations in the beginning! Now the characters of Baka Test have experienced a change in clothes, hairstyle and gender (?). I feel really fortunate to see the faces of all shapes.
K-sama in charge of editing, the term ‘work’ can’t describe how you continued to toil so relentlessly and I really have to show my admiration. If you’re really so tired, I guess the reason is 80% because of Baka Test while the other 20% is due to drinking and diet. I’m really sorry for often creating trouble for you…
Kagaya-san who’s in charge of design, I feel really sorry that the cover design gets a little more complicated for every single volume. You were always able to perfectly complete the job within the extremely constrained time, and your technical skills really helped me out a lot.
To the many people in charge of the anime and the manga, I couldn’t help out at all other than the discussion for the script, so I’m really sorry…I am looking forward to the anime that’s about to be aired and the manga that’s going to be serialized. Once everything’s over, I want to have a good meal with everyone.
And most importantly, the readers! I’m really happy that everyone could support this stupid story with a slow pace release. I will do my best in response to everyone’s support! Also, to my readers who sent fan letters, I’m sorry that I could respond to everyone. Also, I even received a letter saying ‘Because of this book, I got more chances to talk with my son’, and that really touches me. However, how is this mother going to talk to her son about the ‘sou-uke’…I just feel a little horrified thinking about this. I hope both mother and son won’t feel awkward about this…
Then, it’s now time for the useless chat part. What should I talk about here?
—Before that, I have to apologize.
The last time, I wrote in the afterwords regarding the toilet incident, so I’m really sorry. Even I had to blush when I reread it. To be honest, why did I write such an embarrassing thing…even I can’t really comprehend my past actions. I should more or less learn something called self-respect. I’m really sorry.
Then, I want to discuss about underwear this time.
No, this is a misunderstanding. I’m not going to talk about some underwear thief or peeping or anything that feels criminal. It’s just that…well…how to put it? For all sorts of reasons—erm, I think I used this excuse before. If I remember correctly, it was in the afterwords of 6.5.
Speaking of which, I haven’t written about the moving nee-san thing I wrote before. I always had a lot of things I wanted to write in the afterwords, so the page limit bothers me. As there’s a limit to the number of pages I can write, I’m often struggling rather hard.
So, how about this? This book has a questionnaire that investigates the readers’ view, so please write the topics you’re interested in. To make it easy for the person in charge to sort, please write something short and simple in the questionnaire like ‘moving houses’ or ‘toilet’. Then I won’t have to worry about what I should write in my afterwords.
Person in charge: “Then, let’s sort the readers’ views according to the authors. Eh, the thoughts are…”
“△△ series is really interesting! The ending is quite the tear jerker too!”
To Inoue Kenji:
“I love every book you write, sensei! I’ll continue to support you, so do your best!”
To Inoue Kenji:
“The characters are all so cute that I love them ♪. I’m really looking forward to the next volume.”
To Inoue Kenji:
“Perverts and underwear.”
Person in charge: "WHAT WAS THAT GUY WRITING ABOUT!?"
So, better not do that. I just feel that I’ll lose a lot of things if you do that.
Can’t be helped then. In that case, I can only try to match the number of pages as per usual and write the afterwords within my abilities. Speaking of which, even with those reader requests, I don’t think I can satisfy the number of pages for the afterwords.
As I write about this, there’s not much space to explain the content for each story, so this time, as I pondered about what to write about, I couldn’t write anything because I lacked pages in the end. I guess this is what it means by setting wrong priorities.
Let’s leave aside this and allow me to introduce every story. To the readers who haven’t read this volume, we’ll have to say goodbye here.
“Me and Kids and Summoned Beasts”
This happened between volumes 7 and 8, after the baseball tournament, an extension of the story of summoned beasts that will say their true thoughts. I was really happy when writing about such a exciting story. It would be great if I can write a story about ‘bringing a certain kid-sized summoned beast home’, but it’s really difficult.
“Me and Himeji-san and A Certain Afternoon Time”
This is the story set during the start of volume 8, when Mizuki started staying at Akihisa’s house. “It’s a rare chance to be together. I wanted to write a story where ‘they accidentally meet each other naked in the bath’. I had such an idea, but I couldn’t see any of such things when I reread the story. ‘In that case, I should have both of them go on a date’. I thought as I wrote the outline for the date, but this time, the protagonist ended up appeared with underwear on his head. What do I think romcom is about here!?
“Me and Tsuchiya's House and an Unshakeable Heart”
There’s no need to say it. Everyone knows that this is a ripoff—no, a story in tribute to a certain plan at the end of the year. I thought this would definitely work when I thought of this idea, but it was really hard to write it. This story can teach everyone a truth to the world, and that is ‘a gimmick that’s thought up while staying up at night will seem interesting because of a malfunction of the mental state’. Eh? It means that those who read it won’t find it interesting? That’s not it. You have to think of it in the other way, stay up through the night and lose your sanity before reading it, and that’s how you should think. With this, everyone will find the book interesting, but I guess everyone will likely fall asleep before they do so.
In fact, I intended to write a story about ‘Muttsurini and Hideyoshi’ as stated in the synopsis, but as the story title describes, I only introduced Muttsurini’s family conditions. If anyone was actually looking forward to that, please allow me to say sorry here…
“Me and Quarrels and Unbelievable Idiots”
Volume 7.5 had Minami’s backstory, and this story is a little backstory to that story. Everyone had bad feelings with each other at first, so what about now? As you can discover from the other 3 short stories in this volume, their relationship has gotten to the extent such that they would harm each other. If the time’s right, they might even plot to send each other to their deaths. That’s an amazing friendship.
Leaving aside this, the story mentioned about having two people on a bicycle, but this act in itself is very dangerous, so please do not imitate. You must hurt yourself, and if you hit others on the way, you might even kill them. Please do not ever do that.
Of course, riding a bike while carrying someone of the opposite gender is the same. Such youth—correction, such a dangerous act is forbidden by law. No, of course not, there’s no hidden personal feelings mixed in here.
And there’s only a little space left. I’ll have the synopsis to the next volume here.
Sorry to keep everyone waiting! The battle between A class and F class that never happened since volume 1 is about to begin (forecasted)! What will be the outcome to the second challenge of F class? I’ll be really happy if everyone can read it from the beginning till the end.
Then, let’s meet on the stage of Baka Test again.
- If all else fails, retreat. Most famous of the Sun Tzu's 36 stragems.
- Line came in Volume 7 Fifth Question. Target of the line is 3-A, Toko-Natsu's class.
- If you don't understand this, maybe I can describe it as Raikou, Entei, Suicune, Latios, Latias. If you still don't understand, these bosses run away from battle a lot (like all the time).
- Again, Shouyuu, Shouko + Yuuji = Shouyu (Soy Sauce, 醤油). Used countless times in the story.
- Shouko >> Koshou (Pepper, 胡椒). Used in Volume 3 1st Question
- Not sure how to translate this part, but basically, the parent carries the kid high up.
- Literal translation would be Metal Nishimura-sensei, so I added the ‘full’ for the heck of it.
- The Analects are collections of quotes and ideas, mostly attributed with Confucianism. This quote is a famous quote by Yao, an emperor who lived from BC 2377-2259 BC, recorded in Chapter 20 of the Analects, 3rd line. [Of course, I copied the translations from here http://ctext.org/analects/yao-yue]
- I thought of Gorz, Emissary of Darkness when I translated this part, so it was deliberate.
- If you don't understand, pleaes read Volume 3.5 'Me and Part-time Work and a Dangerous Weekend'
- The actual name is North Pacific Fur Seal Convention of 1911.
- Ironman's quote from the Baseball tournament when he hit a homerun off Akihisa.
- Buddhist quote. 色即是空。空即是色。Denying matter, in this case.
- To put it, it's like the Japanese Buddhist equivalent of the River Styx. If you often see how people in comedies 'die' and have to cross the river to the afterlife, this is it.
- Video -- ビデオ Bidet -- ビデ
- A reference to the No Laughing specials from Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!.